The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Fifty-one

Snow day


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TITLE: Snow day

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4314

Shego caressing her pet.

Okay, I’ll never admit to this out loud, but having this kid around, Smiley I mean, isn’t that bad. He’s a pretty good kid. He does some weird things, but I think he only does them because he’s curious or because he’s following Kimmie’s lead, which I keep telling him not to do. He’s actually cute…if you look at him and squint really hard and ignore the glass-like look in his eyes. I guess he’s all right. I guess.

“Wow, it snowed!” Kim declared with a grin as she stared out of the bedroom window to see all of outside blanketed in pure white. She had gotten out of bed quietly and it would have been appreciated if she remained that way.

“Could you be a little louder?” Shego asked sarcastically as she turned over on to her side, hoping to go back to sleep. She had a feeling that her pet was not going to allow that, though. The girl sounded just a bit too happy for her to allow her mistress more rest.

“Let’s go outside,” Kim suggested. She was willing to bet that Todd would love to play in the snow for the day.

“Yeah,” Todd agreed with a small smile. He was staring Shego in the face since he was still lying in bed too. He was still sharing the bed with them because he was scared of the boogeyman. He had a feeling that a hundred boogeymen would not be able to get him if he was next to Kim and Shego. He liked sharing the bed with them because he felt very safe and something else that he could not explain, but it was a warm feeling that he could not recall experiencing before meeting them.

“Could you two not work my nerves this early on my freaking day off?” Shego requested in an irked tone. That was all her brat needed, a sidekick, she thought sarcastically.

“Come on, Smiley,” Kim said and she quickly grabbed the little redheaded boy. He did not object to be snatching up. They could go outside without the crabby officer. They made their way to the bedroom door before Shego halted them right in their tracks.

“Where do you think you’re going?” the pale woman inquired while turning her attention to the energetic pair.

“Outside,” the slim hero answered. Where else would they be going? There was snow on the ground, so they had to get into that, doy.

“There are several things wrong with that answer. Should we go through them or will you just calm the hell down?” Shego asked.

“But—” the pet attempted to argue.

“Ah,” Shego interjected. “What’s wrong with that answer?” she inquired since her little monster wanted to be a pest about things.

The younger female sighed. “We didn’t eat breakfast yet. We didn’t ask your permission. And we’re keeping you awake early in the morning on your day off.”

“And Smiley doesn’t have the proper gear to play in the snow,” Shego added.

“No outside?” Todd asked Kim.

“Not yet,” the slender scientist answered with a dejected sigh.

Kim hopped back into bed and faced Shego, who was trying her damnedest to go back to sleep since she believed that she cleared up the outside issue. The redheaded hero stared at her master, knowing that the pale woman could feel her eyes on her. Todd crawled back into bed and stared too. Kim began whimpering like a wounded puppy and Todd did the same. The boy also began lightly tapping Shego in the shoulder, which all quickly got to the green-skinned female.

“Damn it,” Shego groaned. Was she cursed? All she wanted to do was sleep late on her day off. Was that too much to ask? Apparently so with two brats in the apartment that wanted to go play in the damn snow.

“Can you make breakfast now?” Kim requested.

“Will you two leave me alone?” Shego countered with a huff.

“No,” Todd answered honestly. They were not going to leave her alone until they could go outside.

“What he said,” the older redhead concurred.

The green-skinned female made an irked noise before flinging the covers away from her as if they were the ones truly bothering her. She marched out of the room while the two redheads smiled widely at each other. They gave each other a high-five before trotting out into the living room to watch some cartoons before breakfast. They could hear Shego grumbling through the whole process of making breakfast.

“Shego,” Kim called.

“What?” the raven-haired woman practically roared from the kitchen. She was so pissed with the duo that she wanted to threaten that she was going to poison their meals, but she did not do that. She considered that Todd make take it seriously and then he would not eat and that would only upset her further because she would have gone through the trouble of cooking and also because he was a growing boy that needed to eat breakfast.

“Make pancakes please,” the younger woman requested politely. Her mistress’ mood did not affect her in the slightest, even though she knew that the older woman was really annoyed. Shego liked sleeping late on their day off after all.

“I’ll bean you with a fucking pancake,” Shego muttered.

Kim laughed and smiled at Todd, who laughed a little too. The pale apartment owner did make pancakes, cinnamon of course. She served Todd two hotcakes while Kim got her usual six. She made hash browns with the pancakes instead of eggs like she typically would.

“How come Kimmie has more than me?” Todd asked curiously, looking back and forth between his stack and Kim’s stack. She practically had a tower in his opinion while he barely had a brick. He knew that he did not eat much most of the time, but since Shego cooked so good, he thought that he would be able to put away more than two pancakes.

“Because she’s a pig,” Shego answered.

“I only have two and she has…” he paused for a moment to count all of Kim’s flapjacks and thanks to Kim, he did not have to use his fingers as he went through the numbers. She had been trying to tutor him in between their shopping and cartoon watching. “She has six,” he said in amazement.

“Yeah, you eat those two and I’ll give you more if you want. Your little stomach can’t hold but so much food,” the emerald-eyed officer replied while rubbing his belly and he laughed a little.

When he was done giggling, Todd nodded, showing that he agreed and understood the reasoning as to why he had less food. He remembered throwing up after eating so much at Mexippon, so he figured that Shego knew just what she was talking about. The trio ate breakfast and as it turned out, he could only handle the two pancakes that he had been given. He wondered how Shego knew that he would only be able to eat two and he also wondered why she did not try to make him eat more. He just chalked the latter up to the fact that she was a nice person, even though she yelled a lot.

After breakfast, Kim took Todd to go put on some clothes while Shego did the dishes. Todd guessed that they were actually going to go outside since he was being put in clothes. He wondered if Shego was going to join them since she said that she did not have work that day.

The boy hoped that they were going to play in the snow and not going to do any more shopping. He enjoyed spending time with Kim and everything, but shopping was not only boring, but a tease too. He got to see a bunch of kids with their parents, buying toys and things and he knew that they were going to get a bunch of stuff for Christmas while he was not going to get anything. He hated that Santa got the whole world gifts, but not him, especially since he now knew that he was good because Kimmie told him that he was.

“Let’s go to the park,” Kim suggested.

“Why?” Shego inquired while making sure to bundle Todd up in an extra jacket underneath his coat. She had not felt cold in a long time, but she recalled when she was little and her mother used to pack her and her brothers in layers, sweaters, jackets, and coats when snow hit the ground. So, she did the same with the boy to be on the safe side. The last thing she wanted to do was deal with a sick brat.

“There should be kids there for Smiley to play with,” Kim explained.

The pale woman conceded that point. They could go to the park and let the little gremlin play with some other goblins. It would do him good to interact with other mini-maniacs rather just the average-sized maniac that was Kim. Kim just thought that Todd could use some friends his own age. Everybody needed friends.

They left the apartment and hit the streets. Todd held onto both of their hands as they strolled the short distance to the park. He was surprised, but happy that Shego was coming outside with them and that they did not seem to be going toward the bus because that meant they were not going to the mall. They entered the park and went toward the playground, where they figured the other children would be playing around in the fresh snow. When they got to the playground, Shego watched as Kim took Todd into the mayhem of the other kids.

Now that Shego thought about it, she doubted that Todd was going to take well to the other brats. He was an introverted kid from what she could tell, but she guessed that her monster would be able to get him to mingle. He liked copying Kim, after all. Besides, he seemed to take well to people once he was able to determine that they were not a threat. After all, he had taken to her.

At first, Todd did seem to be a bit uneasy around the few other children that were in the park playing in the snow. Kim urged him to join the kids, but before he got the chance, the kids tackled her. Todd gasped and tried to pull the others off of his Kimmie. Yes, he thought of her as “his Kimmie.” Hey, she was just about the nicest person that he had ever met and he was really attached to her now. He was not going to let someone hurt her or take her away from him as it seemed the other kids had just done.

When the lime-eyed boy heard Kim laughing, he figured that it was not as serious as he thought it was. Kim managed to escape on her own and began throwing snowballs at the children coming after her. She noticed Todd just staring, as if he did not know what to do in a snowball fight. She decided to show him as best she could and quickly got him into the snowball fight. At first it was against his will, she had merely grabbed him and used him as a shield a couple of times. He seemed to get the concept of the game and understood that no one was looking to hurt anyone else, which was when he started throwing snowballs of his own.

The lime-eyed boy was so into the fighting that he eventually flung a snowball at Shego. It seemed like the thing to do in his opinion since everyone, including Kim was playing. Shego had been so unprepared for the projectile that the slushball smashed her right in the face and neck. The snowball fight totally ceased on impact and they all started laughing as the snow slid down Shego’s face. The pale woman frowned.

“Smiley,” Shego growled.

“Run, Smiley! Run!” Kim urged the boy with a grin on her face. She knew that her master was going to try to get back at the boy.

Shego grabbed a hand full of snow and quickly chucked it at Todd; she could not hold on to snow for long, so she had to throw it as fast as she could. Todd yelped and tried to run to avoid the snowball, but he was beamed right in the back of the head. Shego laughed as Todd fell face first in the snow.

The boy picked himself back up and started flinging snow in Shego’s direction in a mad fury. She ran behind a tree for protection. Snowballs resumed their flight and it seemed like it was war, especially since Shego was now a target. Kim quickly jumped on the fact that her mistress was involved in the game.

“Don’t do it, Princess,” the moss-hued woman warned her pet as she noticed Kim stalking toward her with a handful of snow.

“I got to do this,” Kim replied. After all, when was there going to be another time when her owner was in a snowball fight?

“Don’t. I’ll make you sleep on the floor tonight,” Shego threatened her girl, but she doubted that would do the trick.

Kim did not seem to care about that and was about to launch her snowball at Shego, but she was hit first. A sphere of snow crashed the hero in the side of the head and she turned to see who sideswiped her. Todd grinned and waved, as if he was not the one that just smashed her in the head with the snow.

“Smiley, you traitor,” Kim playfully accused him as she flung the snow that was intended for Shego at the boy.

“Missed me!” Todd called as he ducked the snow and Kim realized that she was now unarmed. She turned back to her master and grinned nervously at her.

“You know I wasn’t really going to throw it at you, right?” Kim asked Shego, who had already scooped up some ammunition.

“Too bad because I’m really going to throw it at you,” the older woman replied and she flung the snow at her mischievous imp.

Kim did a dive-and-roll behind a trashcan to avoid getting hit the snow. She gathered up some ammo of her own and poked her head out from her hiding spot to see where her mistress was. While she was focusing on locating her master, several children sneaked up on her and just dumped snow on her head.

“Aw, weak!” Kim groaned with a smile as she got caught. She turned her attention to the fleeing children and started throwing snow at them while making sure to keep an eye open for Todd and Shego since they were likely to sneak up on her while she was focusing on the others. The pale woman and their guest did try to sneak up on her, but she caught them that time.

They played around in the snow for a while and then parents began taking their kids away until only Shego and her redheads remained. The pale woman suggested that they return home since everyone else had left, but Kim insisted that they build a snowman and Todd concurred because he had never built a snowman before. Shego was not trying to hear them out, though.

“I’m getting cold, so come on, before you two get sick,” Shego objected. She knew that if she was getting cold, then it really was time to go.

“Snowman, snowman, snowman,” Kim chanted and Todd joined in.

“Fine, build your damn snowman,” Shego sighed. Were all redheads just so annoying? Was the hair color like a sign to warn people? If so, she wished that she had known that earlier.

Shego watched as the pair built their snowman. She did not offer them any help, although she would not have minded joining in. It would have been nice to be silly for a little while longer and help the two with a snowman, but she just could not hold onto snow long enough to be of any assistance.

The snowman’s construction was going rather slowly. The super-powered woman could tell that Kim and Todd were getting cold because of the slow pace that they were going at. She tried to tell them that they should just leave, but the redheads were not looking to hear that. They were going to finish their snowman and they did just that.

“That is one good looking snowman,” Kim declared and Todd nodded in agreement. He was happy to have helped make something like that. It was fun and he hoped that he would get to do it again.

“Let’s go now,” Shego ordered.

The redheads nodded and followed Shego as she started back toward the apartment. She glanced at them a few moments during the walk and noticed that they were lagging behind. She also noted that Todd was fiddling with his gloved hands, which were starting to go numb. She sighed and collected him in her arms. She took his gloves off and held his hands in one of her own, warming his little pudgy hands up quickly. He was amazed, not just because she could warm his hands up with her own, but that she would do that. No one had ever taken his hands in their own to make them warm for him.

“Better?” Shego asked and Todd nodded. She then glanced at her pet. “Princess, you all right?” she inquired.

“Fine,” Kim lied through chattering teeth. She was freezing, but she was very happy because she could tell that Todd had a good time. She was all about helping him have a good time while she could.

“Come on, let’s hurry up and get home,” the elder woman said while pulling her pet close to her to share her body heat. She supposed being hotter than the average person in more ways than one had its advantages.

“Can we have hot chocolate when we get home?” Kim requested and Todd seemed to beam brightly at the suggestion. He looked at Shego with hope in his light jade eyes.

“Sure,” she sighed. How could she do anything but agree with the way the boy was looking at her?

Kim and Todd sat in the living room, wrapped in warm blankets with hot chocolate mugs sitting next to them. They also had marshmallows, not just in their drinks, but also a bag of giant marshmallows. Shego knew that they would be bouncing off the walls later on, but they were quiet for the moment and that was all she needed. She was sitting on the sofa, reading a book while they watched cartoons.

When they had come in, Shego practically had ordered them out of their wet, cold clothes. Todd had a hot bath first while Shego cuddled Kim on the couch to try to warm the girl up. When Todd was done, Kim had gone to take a shower. With those things out of the way, they had waited patiently for Shego to bring them their hot chocolate and then everyone relaxed.

When the sugar began to take effect and the redheads were starting to show signs of an abundance of energy, Shego closed her book and disappeared into the back. She went to wrap gifts because she thought that they would be preoccupied with other things and would not notice that she was gone. She was pretty much right.

Kim was trying to show Todd how to put together a puzzle of Central Park. Todd was so wired that he was climbing all over the olive-eyed scholar while she was showing him the puzzle. Kim did not mind that he was using her like a jungle gym and he did not even seem to notice what he was doing.

Shego returned to them almost an hour later to find them wrestling and putting the puzzle together at the same time. She decided against asking what it was all about and she also did not step in. She just let them wild out. With luck, they would wear each other out and it would get them to sleep through the night.

The green-skinned female went to make dinner while leaving the redheads to bug out. She sat them down to eat when the meal was done and then went to look at the living room to assess the damage. She sighed; they were like two green-eyed tornadoes. She started cleaning up the mess while they ate dinner. She then started to hear laughing from the dining room and she knew that was not a good sign. After all, what was funny about lamb, mashed potatoes, and greens?

She went to the source of the jovial noise and found the pair playing with their food. Todd was trying to smear mashed potatoes in Kim’s face and she was holding him at bay. He already had mashed potatoes painting both cheeks. Apparently, her monster was worse when partnered with a gremlin, Shego sighed.

“Hey, you two, behave!” the pale woman barked and they jumped in shock because they had not known that she was there.

“Sorry,” Kim apologized with a sheepish look in her eyes that Todd matched almost exactly.

“Just eat,” the officer ordered.

The duo quietly went back to their meals while Shego went to get something to clean Todd off. The pale woman wiped Todd’s face clear of food, finished cleaning up their mess in the living room, ate her own dinner, and collapsed onto the sofa. Two monsters were too much for her, it seemed. She was exhausted. She thought that she might take a short nap, but seconds after she flopped down, Kim lay down on her. The hero rested her head on Shego’s breasts, shamelessly snuggling into the cushions. Todd then came into the living room and climbed up on Kim, lying down on her back.

Shego was glad that the two redheads weighed close to nothing as far as she was concerned with the way they had the nerve to be resting on her like she was the couch. She watched in disbelief as the two whirlwinds fell asleep right on her. She frowned; how dare they tear up the whole apartment and then get tired right when she was going to take a nap! The little redheaded boogers, she silently huffed. But, she was thankful that they were not ripping around anymore. She left them where they were until she felt that it was time for them to just go to bed. She busied herself with watching some television until that time came along.

Shego first had to wake Todd up to get him off of Kim’s back. At first, she had the plan of getting up and carrying both of them to the bedroom, but she just did not feel up to such a venture at the moment. The boy made a noise to complain about being taken from his sleep, but she ignored that. She woke him up, much to his dismay. He whined a little as his eyes opened halfway.

“Come on, gremlin, stay up for five seconds and just slide to the floor for me,” Shego instructed him in a gentle tone.

Todd obeyed and slid off of Kim as if he was a boneless mass. He landed without incident and was probably sleeping before he hit the ground. Shego then woke Kim up and commanded her off, which the hero complied with in a tired haze. Kim did not have to be told to go to bed. She marched off in that direction as soon as she was off of her mistress. The pale woman picked up Todd, who was easily falling back to sleep on the floor, and followed Kim. They all retired to bed and fell asleep without any trouble.

Shego woke up in the middle of the night, not by accident, but by choice. The thing was that tomorrow was Christmas and she had to sneak the gifts under the tree. Hey, she might have been a scrooge, but she was going to try to make the holiday right for Todd and, well, for Kim too. Kim was so excited about the holiday and everything that Shego wanted everything to go right for her. So, she had to go put everything under the tree to make it seem like Santa had come during the night.

She put all of her stealth skills to use to avoid alerting Kim that she was up and about. She had not let her pet know it, but she had gone out and got a few things for her loyal, little monster. She figured that it would be a good way to let her pet know that she still very much appreciated the girl. The gift total in the living room practically buried their little tree.

“Maybe next year we’ll have to get a bigger tree,” Shego commented to the air, forgetting that the reason that the pile was so huge was because of Todd, who would not even be with them anymore come next week.

It was going to be a special holiday; Shego was willing to bet money on that. She went back to bed when she was done and Kim cuddled up next to her. Todd was out, pressed against Kim’s back and drooling on her shoulder. Shego just hoped that it did not snow again because it would be a white enough Christmas without more snow and she did not feel like putting up with those two nuts in the snow again.

Next time: Christmas time. What gifts will everyone get?

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