The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Four

try, try again


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60

TITLE: try, try again

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. I also don’t own Hallmark.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4716

Shego caressing her pet.

I want to stop thinking about it. I don’t want to remember those hot hands on my thighs. I don’t want to remember how close she was and what I was planning to do, thinking that I would have the chance. I just wanted to love her and I just wanted her to love me in return. Is it just that it can’t be done on a physical level?

Kim groaned and rested her head down on the table at the booth that she was sitting at with her friends. They were at their usual hangout spot of Bueno Nacho and, when she went down, they all looked at her; all being Ron, Yori, Monique, Felix, and of course Rufus. They had been all right, just chilling like always, until Ron asked Kim why she looked so tired and that was when the redhead hit the deck as if the question had bowled her over. The question made her think of things that she was trying her best to forget, but she was not making any progress.

“I’m going to venture a guess here and say it’s pet trouble,” Monique assumed while staring at the hero.

Before becoming a pet, the only other problem that Monique recalled Kim having was on deciding what to do with herself after college; she was not even sure if Kim looked at that as a problem. The redheaded young woman was usually so together, even now, except when it came to pet life. The fashion expert bet that the reason her friend’s life did not seem together when it came to her being a pet was probably just because it was one area of life that Kim did not have control over.

“Oh, yeah, that was hard to figure out,” Ron commented sarcastically and Monique threw him a look as if telling him “Boy, don’t make me get out of this chair.” The blonde decided to eat some nachos for the moment before he talked himself into serious trouble.

“I just didn’t get any sleep,” Kim stated to answer her best friend’s question while holding her head.

The petite adventurer was telling the truth, but she did not offer up the reason why. She had stayed up all night, lying there in the bed, still as a wooden plank, staring at the door to the bedroom as if it had some answer to her troubles and her mind refused to shut off, even for a moment. She just kept thinking about it.

“Why?” Ron asked with sudden interest and Felix quickly picked up on where the blonde was going with his question. In fact, the brunette inventor was the only one that picked up on it.

“Steamy girl-on-girl action?” Felix added, knowing that was where his good friend was going.

“A-boo-ya!” Ron cheered with a cheeky grin. He and Felix always were eye to eye on everything; Monique thought it was scary sometimes since Felix was her boyfriend now.

“No, there was no steamy girl-on-girl action,” Kim answered, which deflated the guys just a bit; their expressions certainly fell. The fellas were hoping for some dirty details on a hot night, but apparently they were not going to get any of that. Monique did crane a curious eyebrow.

“That was an odd tone there. It sounded rather disappointed,” the fashion diva noted. Now, she was interested because she knew that there was more to the tale than Kim was sharing at the moment.

“Never mind it,” the redhead said while trying to dismiss the whole matter with a wave of her hand. She did not to talk about it; it was bad enough that she kept thinking about it.

“No, no, no. I’m sensing a crisis. Come on, we’re all friends here,” Monique pointed out in an affable, but forceful tone. She wanted to try to help and she knew that the others felt the same way because Kim was always there for them and they would like to be able to return the favor whenever they could.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the olive-eyed adventurer insisted.

“Come on, K.P,” Ron jumped in, hoping to get his best friend to open up. None of them liked to see each other down and out.

Kim sighed and she thought about it for a moment. She was amongst her closest and dearest friends. Maybe they could help. They helped each other all the time; admittedly, some things got better results than others, but they still sincerely tried. Well, usually they sincerely tried. There was always those few times that they disagreed with what had to be done or something to that nature and things did not get worked out properly.

“Guys, is there something wrong with me? I need you to be honest too. Is there something wrong with me?” Kim asked.

The friends all gawked at Kim with confused faces, not that she could see them since she still had her head down, for a moment or so. They then looked at each other, hoping that someone had some answers as to where the hell that question came from. They all then shrugged because none of them had anything. They turned back to Kim, all ready to tell her that they did not think that there was something wrong with her, but they knew that the question was deeper than that.

“Kim, what happened, girl? What are you even talking about?” Monique asked, even though she wanted to tell her close friend to stop acting crazy because there was absolutely nothing wrong with her; she could do anything after all. How could there be something with a person that could do anything, except for the fact that she was living as someone’s pet anyway?

“Would any of you guys have sex with me?” Kim inquired as she picked her head up to start gauging reactions to make sure they were being sincere. It was not that she did not trust them; it was just that on certain issues, they went with what they thought was best instead of what the person wanted.

First, the couples were all shocked by that question, especially since it seemed to come completely out of left field. The guys then turned to their respective girlfriends and grinned nervously. The boys wisely, very wisely, remained silent on that question. In fact, Ron started eating a naco to make sure that he did not accidentally say something that could even be mistaken for an answer. Felix took the hint and did the same. The girls were satisfied with their boyfriends not doing anything stupid, so they turned their attention back to Kim.

“Please, rephrase your question,” Yori requested, feeling that maybe different wording could help them all better understand the redhead’s plight. Monique had a better idea.

“Girl, what the hell are you even talking about?” the chocolate-eyed female asked.

“Well … I …” Kim could not even explain herself, so she let out a frustrated groan.

“Dis is seful frusfasion,” Ron mumbled with his mouth full of naco.

“Swallow first, genius, and then talk,” Monique commanded with an aggravated sigh. She honestly did not see how Yori put up with him all the time and still held a firm grip on reality.

Ron did as he was ordered and swallowed everything that he had been eating. “This is sexual frustration. It’s mega obvious. I mean, look how tweaked she is,” he commented while motioning to Kim.

“I’m not tweaked. What do you even know about sexual frustration? You’ve been getting laid on a daily basis for years now,” Kim pointed out.

“This is true. That’s how I know all about it. I know that I’ve never acted like this,” the blonde male countered with confidence, as if that made any sense at all.

Kim and Monique looked at each other to express their skepticism to each other and then turned to stare at Ron to let him know that they believed that he was using some rather dubious evidence, dubious at best in fact. Unfortunately, he did bring up a good topic. It was a topic that Kim would rather not talk about, but Monique was willing to explore it as a possibility.

“He makes a point. You haven’t had sex in a good three or four years, Kim,” the wavy-haired female commented.

“Whoa, how do you go on living?” Felix asked with a shocked expression on his face. Ron was wondering the same thing.

“I don’t need sex like that,” Kim replied in a flat tone.

“It might explain why you always look for adrenaline rushes,” Felix muttered and Kim glared at him so harshly that it actually scared him. “I’m just saying is all,” he defended himself while holding up his hands as a gesture of surrender. He was now inclined to agree with others, though; Kim was beyond sexually frustrated as far as he could tell just from the way that she stared daggers into his soul that moment.

“Kim, you are living with a woman that you’re attracted to,” Yori pointed out, showing that she was a bit supportive of the theory that the hero was sexually frustrated.

“So, it’s only natural that you’re frustrated,” Ron chimed in.

“It’s not like that,” the slender hero tried to argue. She could not think of any reasons as to why it was not like that, but she was fairly certain that it was not like that. She was not sexually frustrated. She could live without sex; she had been doing it for most of her life.

“What do you mean it’s not like that? Kim, you sleep next a woman that you’re attracted to, that you seem to be in serious love with, and you have for the past couple of years. You’ve got to be frustrated with that. Hell, you admit that you fondle the woman in your damn sleep,” Monique pointed out.

“Keeping it real, Mo,” Ron commented because Monique had broken it all down and just told the plain truth right there. He then turned to Kim. “That’s your brain screaming that you need sex,” he stated.

“You’re lucky to not have woken up humping your mistress,” Felix remarked.

“Does this really have to be the topic of conversation?” the redhead inquired, especially since they were not helping. Telling her that she was sexually frustrated and things like that did not help because even if she was, she would remain that way. Her mistress, the one person that she desired, did not seem to want her in return and she could not do anything about that.

“Yes,” they all answered. It certainly did have to be the topic of conversation as far as they were all concerned.

“Come on,” Kim pled. She really did not want to talk about it. She wished that she could just forget there was such a thing as sexual intercourse.

“You come on. Now, spill,” Ron ordered.

Kim sighed and bit into her bottom lip. Did she really want to share that blunder of a night? She could already envision her friends laughing at her because it was just a comical night; if the person was not involved in it anyway because it certainly was not funny on her end. From her point of view, it was beyond frustrating. It was close to maddening for her.

After all, it was just like her friends all pointed out. Kim had not had sex in well over three years; she actually could not remember the last time that she had done it. She slept next to the one person on the planet that she was hopelessly attracted too, maybe even hopelessly in love with considering how much she was willing to do for the woman. She was surprised that she had not woken up one night just dry-humping Shego like a horny dog.

“I was this close,” Kim lamented, holding her thumb and index about a centimeter apart to show just how close she had been. She had put her head back down on the table. “Can you believe it? I was that close,” she muttered.

“So close, yet so far away,” Ron commented and that earned him a very light slap from Yori. “Ow!” he complained, even though the blow did not hurt in the slightest.

“Be compassionate. Your best friend is in sorrow,” the ninja pointed out.

“I’m just trying to lighten the mood is all,” the blonde grumbled.

“Kim, sweetie, what happened?” Monique asked in an understanding tone.

The redhead did not pick her head up as she went into recounting the taunting, torturous night that she had last night. It was like Shego had been trying to force herself to make love to her, Kim noted. It was like her master did not really want to do it. She had doubts that she would ever get another chance to do anything of that nature again and she had not even gotten the chance to touch that very tempting light green flesh last night. She had not gotten the opportunity to do anything and it was gone, lost to eternity like a haunting whisper in the wind.

By the end of the account, her friends were empathizing with her as best they could. They could not really imagine how she felt since none of them had ever been rejected in such a manner before. They were willing to bet that it did make for an awkward morning, but none of them said anything on that matter.

“Just because things did not go well last night doesn’t mean that it won’t happen,” Monique said. She was going to add that her friend should just give it time, but Kim had put in years already, so she thought that it might only infuriate the hero if she did say such a thing because Kim had given it more time than most people would even consider.

“Yeah, K.P, she’s right. I mean, when I hooked up with Yori and we were about to get down, everything went wrong,” Ron started to tell the story to make his friend feel better, but his girlfriend halted him.

“Could you not tell this story, Ron-kun?” Yori stated. First of all, she did not like him sharing tales of their sexual escapades. Second of all, the night that he was about to go into, no one should ever know about that, ever. She was still trying to wipe it from her memory.

“Yeah, we don’t need to hear stories about your freaky sex life,” Monique concurred. It was bad enough that she knew that Ron had sex; she did not need to hear about it too.

“We’ve got to swap stories,” Felix said to the blonde boy, who was about to agree wholeheartedly.

“Hey!” their girlfriends reprimanded them simultaneously. Ron was just glad that he had not answered because he might have had his ear pulled or something worse.

“We might have to take a page from Kim’s mistress and get some leashes,” Monique commented.

“I’m all for it,” the blue-eyed male replied with a lecherous smirk while Ron could only nod very enthusiastically to show that he was all for the idea too.

“I meant for you two,” the African-American woman clarified.

“I’m still all for it,” the brunette inventor replied while Ron continued to just nod and grin.

“Do you see what we’re working with here?” Monique asked Yori.

“I knew my boy was dangerous when I took him,” the ninja remarked, showing that she was picking up a lot of things from her friends.

“Oh, I’m scared of you, girl,” Monique quipped with an amused smile.

“Hey, weren’t we talking about something else a second ago?” Felix pondered aloud because it seemed to him that they had strayed from the original subject.

“Bondage?” Ron guessed, showing where his head was.

“No, it was something equally as hot. Oh, right, girl-on-girl. Kim’s sexual misadventure,” Felix said and he turned his attention back to the redhead, who still had her head on the table and had been quite happy without any mind being paid to her.

Monique reached over and rubbed Kim’s back in an effort to make her feel better. The adventurer appreciated the gesture, but it was not helping. They both doubted that there was anything that Monique could do that would truly be some assistance.

“It’s not so bad, sweetie,” the fashion diva tried to comfort her friend as best she could.

“How is it not that bad?” Kim asked in a mumble.

“Just because things went wrong last night doesn’t meant that it won’t go right the next time and there will be a next time. I mean, you’re damn sexy, right? Everyone knows that. You’re attractive as hell and very doable,” Monique attempted to assure the redhead. She was starting to see why they did not make Hallmark cards for something like the problem that they were having; it was hard to sell the idea that one rejection would not lead to others.

“She doesn’t want me,” Kim grumbled.

“Sure she does. She likes kissing you. She likes holding you. She likes cuddling you. She loves you very dearly, sweetie. You know she loves you,” Monique pointed out and she truly believed that.

“But, she doesn’t want to make love to me. I’m going to be sleeping next to her until she picks up a new guy that will get to do her and I’ll be back to sleeping in the loft. It isn’t fair. I’m the one that makes her happy. I’m the one …” Kim complained in a mumble.

“It’s okay, Kim,” Monique tried to assure her distraught friend.

“Yes, surely your mistress will notice how attractive you are and make love to you,” Yori concurred.

The Japanese woman was trying her best to be supportive because she did not like seeing her friend in such a downtrodden state, but she sounded rather uncomfortable saying those words because, well damn it, the conversation was just plain weird, even for them. Kim was complaining about how she did not get to have sex with her master; how in the hell was Yori supposed to respond to that? She wished that someone would write a book on how to handle Kim’s problems; the others would have agreed had she voiced that notion.

Shego was staring at her desk, which was neat aside for a couple of papers because she did not believe in buying useless junk to clutter it up with. She had been nodding off all day, but she could not fall asleep completely. She kept nodding off because she had not gotten any sleep last night. Damn that awkward and failed sexual encounter, she silently cursed. Damn sex altogether, she added in a bit of a huff.

Thanks to last night, every single time that she closed her eyes, she saw her pet staring at her with those big, pathetic leaf-green eyes. The eyes just looking so pitiful and pleading and they were glued to her frontal lobes now, it seemed. Ah, that damned fool brat.

Trying to have a sexual relationship with Kim probably was not going to work out, Shego figured. After all, last night was the very definition of a disaster. It was like the Titanic sinking in her opinion. She was not even sure if she had been turned on last night by the idea of sleeping with Kim. She might have just talked herself into it because she liked kissing the little pest. Kissing and sex just were not the same thing, so just because she could kiss the girl did not mean that she could be physically intimate with her munchkin. Come on, it was her munchkin, after all.

“Hey, you don’t look so good,” Doctor Director noted as she came over to her pale friend’s desk.

“I didn’t get much sleep,” the moss-hued officer admitted.

“Brat giving you hell, I’ll bet,” the boss commented as if she was amused, mostly because she was just that.

“You don’t know the half of it.”

“Yeah, well, put it out of your head for a second or so. I’ve got the perfect assignment for you, going after a bank-robber made of wax,” the chief stated.

“That’ll do,” Shego replied, requiring something to get those pitiful olive-green eyes out of her mind.

The raven-haired woman took the assignment and went off to stop the bank-robber made of wax; she did not even want to know how that worked, namely how he was made of wax. When she came across him, fleeing the scene, it turned out that his body was like melting candle wax. She hoped that he did not do that sort of thing to himself, especially on purpose. If it was not him, then he needed to go find whoever did do that to him and clobber that person posthaste, unless of course he had already gotten around to that.

At first, Shego went at the crook with the game plan of just melting his limbs with her plasma, which was what she did. It turned out that he could grow back any part of his body that she destroyed; it was starting to make sense why he would do such a thing to his body now. It seemed that heat energy versus melting power was not the best judgment call that Doctor Director could have made.

Shego supposed that it would have done her some good to have at least glanced at the report on the guy before going after him. But, there was no time to dwell on the past and what she should have done, but clearly had not done. She was just going to have to wing it, which was fine by her. Like she would lose to some guy that could melt; yeah, right, her mind scoffed.

The super-powered woman figured that since the perpetrator’s body was like melting candle wax, maybe she could harden him like a candle once the wax was no longer warm. She fired a plasma bolt at a fire hydrant that was ahead of her and the thief. She then tackled him right into the waterspout that shot out of the hydrant; he made an angry noise when the water hit him. He indeed began to harden like cooled candle wax after only a few seconds. Okay, maybe he should get his money back on those powers, she considered.

“Needless to say, you’re under arrest, asshole. You’ve got the right to shut the fuck up. If you choose to wave that right, it’ll piss me off and cause me to hurt you badly,” she informed the criminal.

Well, that was good for clearing her head, Shego realized. She did not think about last night again until it was time to go home. She was going to have to face her poor, disappointed pet. She knew that she had crushed her monster last night, even though part of her argued that the little idiot should not have expected any sort of tumble in between the sheets and should just be happy to have gotten to sleep in the bed with her permission. Still, she did tease her eager pet with her actions and that undoubtedly frustrated the precious little imp. She sighed; she probably should try to make up for that. Her stomach protested, knowing that her apology was going to consist of some sort of pasta dinner.

Maybe there was some other way to make up for teasing Kim, the pale officer considered. Yeah, her pet liked other things than pasta and she was thankful for that. She would treat the redhead to something other than noodles. All those carbohydrates might have been part of the reason that her monster was so hyper now.

“Welcome home!” Kim grinned as she embraced her mistress as the elder woman entered the apartment. It was painfully obvious that she was pretending that everything was normal if only to avoid an awkward evening. She was also doing it because it was what a good pet would do.

“Princess,” Shego grunted in annoyance; she figured that it was all right to humor the younger female. She actually would not mind pretending that nothing happened at the moment, but then she looked down at her pet.

The pale woman realized that she could not pretend that nothing happened because even now she just wanted to lean down and kiss Kim. If she kept kissing the slender redhead, then she would always give the hero the idea that there would be more if she waited. Shego was not too certain that there would ever be more, no matter how long Kim waited.

“What? Hey, what’s that?” the slim adventurer asked when she noticed that her owner was holding a bag. She loved it when Shego came in with bags.

“Nothing. Well, no, something,” the emerald-eyed officer replied.

“For me?” the hero hoped. The funny thing was that she was being genuine; she really wanted whatever was in the bag to be for her.

“Yes,” Shego sighed. Her pet swore up and down that every time she came into the house with a bag, then she had something for the little pest; the little pest was generally right.

“Spanking!” Kim cheered.

The raven-haired female only shook her head; she yielded a bit and admitted to herself that she thoroughly enjoyed her pet’s enthusiasm, whether it was real or not. She rubbed her girl’s head and Kim smiled. She owed it to the chipper little redhead to try again, Shego conceded at that very moment.

“So, what is it? Can I open it now?” Kim asked while trying to peer into the bag, but it was closed well enough to hide its contents from her view. She disliked indigo plastic bags; they were not translucent like white plastic bags.

“Fine,” the woman-in-charge gave in.

Kim grinned while her master handed over the bag to her. The younger lady yanked her gift out of the plastic container and saw that her mistress had gotten her a puzzle, one with over a thousand pieces. She loved puzzles and the more pieces, the better the puzzle in her opinion.

“I figured that I could watch you put it together sometime,” the green-skinned female stated.

“Thank you!” Kim hollered and she flung herself at her owner again. She embraced the apartment owner for the second time in less than five minutes.

Shego snorted, more out of habit than actual annoyance. Kim looked up at her mistress and then bit on her bottom lip a little bit, only to keep herself from doing something rash. The older woman knew what her pet wanted to do; she had no problem with giving in.

“It’s okay, Kimmie. You can,” Shego gave her girl permission to do what she desired. Her pet was so happy with that that she did not even realize what Shego had called her for a long moment.

The redhead quickly stood on her toes and gently kissed Shego; she did not want to seem overzealous, but she was overjoyed that she was still allowed to kiss the taller woman. Maybe they would have another chance at physically loving each other. She hoped that that was the case because the older woman tasted so good; it was like she was a forbidden flavor, therefore Kim always wanted more. And her lips were so incredibly soft that touching them had to be like touching a cloud.

Shego cupped Kim’s face with her always-warm hands and deepened the kiss. Yes, she would have to try it again, the older woman soundly decided. The kiss just felt too good and too right for her to not be able to lie down and intimately touch the hero. There had to be a way where she could be with Kim without thinking so much on it, without it seeming so alien to her. There had to be a way. She only had to think on it.

Next time: Shego does some thinking and decides that it’s time for her and her pet to take a little trip.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60