The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Nineteen

Double talk


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60

TITLE: Double talk

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 5084

Shego caressing her pet.

This is unbelievable. I’m talking totally, completely un-be-fucking-lievable. My brat, this kid who only recently was able to buy liquor just made me feel…I don’t even know. I’ve honestly never felt anything like it and I’d love nothing more than to feel it again, but the problem is what if this fucks up what we have? I really don’t want to lose this kid or what we have. I hope this didn’t fuck everything up.

Kim and Shego believed that they had hit a crossroads in their relationship and both paths seemed impossible to take, but it did not seem like they could stay where they were. What was the watershed event that had them so deep in thought about their relationship? Shego had just given into Kim’s desire and allowed Kim to pleasure her. To pile on the pressure, Kim had done a damn good job. And now, they were bemused.

The pair was not very sure what they were to each other anymore. Shego wondered if she should consider Kim a lover now while the redhead wondered if the act had been a whim. Would what happened be forgotten? Would it be best to forget about it? After all, what were they supposed to do? They had to talk and they both knew that.

Shego moved to the head of the bed; she had been seated at the foot of the bed before. She grabbed Kim on her way to the top of the bed and let the petite scientist rest against her, which Kim thought was a good sign, even though it might mean that her mistress was just looking to return everything to normal. The pale woman rubbed her chin a bit while Kim made herself comfortable against the raven-haired female. Where would they begin? What was the most important issue?

“Princess,” Shego started.

Kim laughed a little bit; she was back to being “Princess” or “Pumpkin.” Hardly a half hour ago, the elder female had been shouting the name “Kim” to the clouds for all to hear. She did not mind the change; she had no problem with going back to being a pet now, for the moment anyway. She understood that was the way that Shego was comfortable with her and she had gotten used to being a spoiled pet for the most part anyway. She did not mind what she was; if she did, she would have left a long time ago.

“What are you now?” the green-skinned woman asked curiously. She felt so odd that she did not even want to command Kim to remain her little monster. She thought that the slim redhead might resent the orders now if she no longer viewed herself as a pet. She considered that the slender hero might think of herself as having captured that elusive dream of becoming Shego’s partner.

“What do you mean?” the redhead countered. She was perplexed by the question. She was the same person that she had been forty-five minutes ago, so she did not see why her mistress would ask such a question.

“Are you still my pet?” Shego inquired, hoping to control the emotion in her voice. She liked Kim as a pet because she liked taking care of the little hero. For some reason, she enjoyed having someone depend on her like Kim did, even if the younger female was only doing it for her sake.

“Duh, what else would I be?” the slender adventurer answered. She knew that the older woman needed her around and she would stay around as long as she was needed and wanted, even as a pet.

“Just checking,” Shego replied with a small smile.

The pale woman rubbed the top of Kim’s head. She felt so relieved by the information that Kim was still her pet. So, maybe things would not be that weird. After all, Kim was still her little monster; the redhead just knew that they worked best when she was the pet and Shego was the mistress thanks to her behavior a couple of months back when she tried to act like a girlfriend and not a pet. She really had no problem remaining a pet, especially if she was allowed to copulate with her mistress more than that one time, even though she had only requested that one time. In retrospect, she guessed that it would have been a much better idea to not say just that once. Usually, she would nonchalantly chalk things up to “live and learn,” but the issue was much too important to her for her to do that now.

“Shego,” Kim said in a low tone.

“Yeah?” the emerald-eyed woman inquired.

“Was this it?” the younger female asked.

“Huh?” Shego was not following what her munchkin meant.

“I mean, are you…will I be able to do this again or are you going to go back to…” Kim trailed off because she was not entirely sure how to phrase her question. She was not completely sure of what she wanted to ask, or it could have been that she just did not want a certain answer and she was scared that she might get that one. The main thing was knowing if she would be able to touch Shego intimately again and maybe even have the action returned.

Shego understood the main point of her pet’s unfinished inquiry. She would have thought that answer was obvious from the way that she had been wantonly shouting, panting, just her all-around behavior on that very bed not even an hour ago. But, she would see why her monster would ask such a question; she could be so flighty with her girl on many matters, she noted. Should they continue to do such things? Their relationship might become awkward after a while and she did not want that.

“Princess, are you sure this is what you want?” Shego asked. She was not sure if it was to avoid answering the question, even though she wanted to just give the girl permission to screw her into the ground anytime that the idea came to mind. But, she had a couple of problems with giving such an answer and the main reason was that she did not want their relationship to get messed up. The other reason was that she believed it would be selfish of her to give into such sexual pleasure while not being certain that she could return such attention.

“Why? You regret it?” Kim countered. She would be rather insulted if her mistress regretted something that she had poured her heart and soul into; not to mention other, more tangible parts of herself.

“No, I don’t regret it. I just don’t want it to ruin what we have going already. I mean, you are my pet,” the officer said.

“And I always will be. We both know that. Are you saying we can’t do stuff like that because I’m a pet?” the redhead asked in a puzzled tone. She really did not understand why they could not do such a thing because she was a pet; she was also human and that was the main thing in her opinion.

“Well…don’t you think it’ll be a little weird after a while?” the raven-haired female asked.

“No,” Kim answered honestly. “I know I’m a pet. I know what I agreed to. If you’re worried about me acting out again, you don’t have to. I know not to do it again. I’m just your pet,” she declared. She attempted to prove her point by taking Shego’s hand and forcing the older woman to pet her head.

Shego smiled a bit again. It was good to know that she was going to get to keep her pet. She still was not sure if she should agree to let Kim do what she just did again. It would be sort of taking advantage of her loving brat, she considered, because she just did not feel like she would be able to do it in return. It would not be fair to Kim.

“You’re a pet that needs sex undoubtedly and you want it from me,” the pale woman muttered.

Kim smiled like a little elf. “No one else will do,” she admitted easily.

Shego shook her head as if she was amused, which she was, a little anyway. Her pet honestly and truly loved her; she could tell that for a long time, even though her monster never said so out loud in front of her. Shego, unfortunately, was not sure what to do with such knowledge. She, of course, loved the little redhead in return, but she had been fairly certain that it was not a sexual love; she was not so certain now, but there was more to it. To add to that, she realized that she would not mind getting more attention like that from her pet and would also like to give her pet what she wanted and deserved, but she was still so nervous about that notion.

The super-powered woman just did not know what she should do when it came to intercourse with her pet. She did not want to perform badly and then let her pet down. She was supposed to be so high-powered and everything and she wanted to keep that image up. She was the all-powerful mistress, after all, and was never supposed to let her pet think otherwise. She just did not know what to do.

“If we do this, you want it to be exclusive, don’t you?” the moss-hued woman asked for lack of a better question. It was not like she could ask something more relevant, like for her munchkin to teach her some moves; that would be way too embarrassing.

“I’d like that. Why, you don’t want that?” the olive-eyed hero countered.

“I don’t know, Pumpkin. I really don’t know. I don’t want this to get weird. I mean, we do have to live together,” Shego pointed out, continuing to pet her little monster through out their talk.

Kim pouted; she was genuinely saddened. It seemed like her mistress was against them being intimate ever again. She supposed that she should have guessed as much; her mistress seemed to so enjoy a pointless struggle. Besides, she was a pet and masters were not supposed to sleep with their pets. But, she was human too, so it should be all right.

“I’m never going to have sex again,” Kim muttered. She was actually going to itch forever and always. That was a horrible thought.

“What?” Shego asked curiously. She had heard what the girl said, but she was not sure if she had heard right.

“Nothing,” the redhead replied.

“Did you just say that you’re never going to have sex again?” the officer inquired.

“Uh-huh,” the younger female confirmed.

“Why would you say that?”

“I told you that no one else will do, but you. I want you and only you, but you don’t want to sleep with me,” the redhead explained in a mumble.

Shego was not sure what to say. Her little elf looked so pitiful and it was all her fault. She pressed the younger woman to her and continued to caress her scalp. She leaned down and kissed the top of Kim’s head. She really would like to be able to touch Kim in the same way and fulfill any little perverted fantasies that she might have, but she just doubted that she could do it. She doubted that she could perform anywhere near what Kim wanted.

“Don’t think like that, Pumpkin. It’s not that I don’t want to sleep with you. You’re a damn sexy little monster, okay?” Shego stated.

“So, why?” Kim asked curiously.

“I’m straight, Princess,” the pale woman said plainly. She was straight; well, she was pretty sure that she was straight. It was just so much easier to say and believe that than to admit that she just did not think that she would perform up to task for her imp.

Kim fought the urge to scoff or even laugh because her mistress’ statement was close to a joke. She could tell that her master was about as straight as she was. She decided against saying that, though. She was far from interested in arguing, so she just lounged against her owner while she could and reveled in the feeling of being caressed.

It seemed that the sexy lady that she was resting against would never be hers exclusively, Kim figured. She would have to share her mistress with Junior and some other guys through out their lives. She also noted that she had never gotten a direct answer about if she would be able to touch her owner again, so that was up in the air too. There was also the fact that she might never have sex again. So, none of her questions were really answered. So, she did not really know what to expect.

Shego stared down at her little pet, who was sleeping. The pale woman was supposed to be sleeping too, but she was too lost in thought. She figured that she should be very flattered that she was the only person on the planet that Kim wanted to sleep with. She actually was flattered, more so than she had ever been in her life, but there was something else that she felt. She was not sure what the emotion was; she was actually touched to her heart and her soul, but she was not likely to acknowledge that.

She considered that she might be feeling guilty; it was not something that she had much experience with, but she was feeling it at the moment with several other emotions. She felt guilty because she just could not find it in herself to make love to her yearning little imp. Her slender rascal would do almost anything for her and to her apparently, yet she could not give the kid the one thing that she desired. She could barely imagine going without sex for as long as Kim seemed to resign herself to; celibacy, all for her.

“Why do you want me so badly? It’s just sex,” Shego commented.

The moss-hued woman would have bet her left arm that Kim could go out and find several people willing to pound her like there was no tomorrow in a matter of minutes, yet none of those people would do. It was obviously more than “just sex” to Kim; Shego would now concur wholeheartedly from the way that the little redhead made her feel that afternoon. Sex was never that fulfilling, satisfying, and just indescribable because of the attention put into it. Would Kim feel like that if she could find it in her to return the favor?

If she could make her mini-monster feel even a fraction of what Kim made her feel, Shego believed that such a thing would be beyond wonderful. She just did not think that she would be able to do such a thing. She had no idea what she was doing and she just could not do it because she knew that she would not be as good as Kim. She figured that the petite hero would feel gypped if she ever did work up the courage to touch the girl; little did she know, but Kim had not been touched in years and she would have appreciated just about anything from the older woman.

The raven-haired woman’s thoughts were thrown off when she felt movement against her. She glanced down at Kim and saw the adventurer was rubbing her hips against her side. It seemed that the redhead was worked up thanks to their afternoon activity and that itch that she had been so worried about was bothering her as if it had infected her. While she was having a naughty dream, she was seeking relief in real life. She even bit her lip in frustration when it seemed like mere rubbing was not going to cut it.

“What are you dreaming about?” Shego wondered as she caressed her girl’s scalp.

Kim whimpered a bit and moved closer to the super-powered female. She continued grinding against her mistress and Shego could guess what was on her pet’s mind. She briefing pondered if her brat was really sleeping or merely pretending in order to get away with such lewd behavior. It looked like she was sleeping; in fact, all signs pointed to her being asleep, so Shego decided that she did not mind the action. She probably would not have minded no matter what, but with Kim being asleep and unaware of her actions, that made it even more okay to do.

“Is this really what you’re reduced to, Pumpkin? Man, this is crazy. You’d better actually be sleeping or I’m going to kick your ass later on,” Shego mumbled.

The emerald-eyed female reached down to soothe away her imp’s aggravation. She told herself that she was only doing it to help out Kim; it did not make her any less straight and there was nothing wrong with it. Sure, she was going to sort of be touching Kim while the girl was asleep, which was something that would get the slim scholar barked on and beaten with several pillows if the roles were reversed, but she was attempting to be of some assistance, not perverted like the slender scientist would.

To further assert the fact that it was no big deal, she made sure that her hand was shielded by Kim’s pajamas. Her help did not really seem to be as aiding as she thought it would from the look on the redhead’s face; Kim’s expression in her sleep was still one of irritation. The pale woman sighed.

“You really better be asleep then,” Shego said because of what it looked like things were going to come to.

It was not just that the green-skinned female did not want Kim to be aware of what she was about to do to her, but she would rather that because she did not want to be judged. It was a strange thing to not want to be judged by her pet, she thought since it was something that she never thought about before, but it was suddenly something on her mind. She did not want Kim to know that she touched her because she did not desire that Kim feel dissatisfied with the whole action. It would not be fair to her munchkin and she really did not want her pet to look at her differently after doing something below par.

Shego found herself a little curious about what she was now considering in order to get Kim to stop rubbing against her. How did Kim feel? What would it be like to touch her? Would it be strange to do such a thing? She would soon find out as she went past the waistband of Kim’s shorts.

Questions answered; Kim was soft and silky and it felt unexpectedly amazing to touch her, so no, it was not strange. She considered that she might even be able to do it again when her girl was awake because it was not weird and she did not mind the feel. In fact, she somewhat enjoyed the smooth feeling of her girl.

The petite hero seemed to appreciate the contact, rolling her hips to meet the fingers, causing some much desired, almost needed friction. Shego did not move her hand much, allowing her monster to do most of the work. The redhead moved slowly into the two fingers against her and made a few small whimpers as she did so. It hardly took half-a-minute for Kim to sigh quietly and stop her movement. She settled against Shego and remained in a dead sleep.

The pale woman removed her hand and stared at her fingers for a while. Because of the dark that surrounded them, she could not see the sticky substance on her fingers, but she could feel it. She then did something that she would have considered weird; she licked her fingers to taste Kim’s essence. Maybe her pet was on to something about them being able to have a sexual relationship, she considered just for the fact that she had done something so odd.

“I owe it to her to try and I know want to try. I mean, it’s not like I can go out and have sex with just anyone anymore, but it’s not like I can work up…whatever I need to fuck her either. Maybe it’ll just take some time. I mean, that was just interesting, after all. Fine,” she yielded with a sigh.

The green-skinned woman did think that the least she could do for Kim was devote all of her time to the redhead, just like Kim had done for her. After all, the slim scientist had gone beyond being her pet, but went so far as to resign herself to a life of chastity while waiting for her mistress. At least Shego could pay her mischievous munchkin all of her attention, acknowledging the effort as best she could at the moment. She would give her monster her all because the girl deserved that and more.

(New day)

There was a knock at the apartment door and Shego quickly answered it. There was no real reason for her to answer the door so rapidly; she had the place to herself, so it was not like the noise was going to wake up her precious imp. But, she wanted to get the bothersome exchange that she knew was coming out of the way. She supposed that she brought it on herself by not realizing or acknowledging how deeply devoted her little pet was sooner.

She should have acknowledged her monster’s whole affection for her sooner, she supposed. While she might not have been able to fully return the affection physically, at least not if Kim was awake it seemed, she believed that she should have done more for her loving little elf. She did want Kim to be happy because a happy monster meant lots of smiles, cheers, and hugs, which actually meant that Shego was happy. It just took her a while to realize that; she guessed that she could be very stupid, especially when it came to her munchkin.

“Whoever heard of an exclusive master/pet relationship, though?” Shego asked herself just to amuse herself. But then again, whoever heard of a human pet actually being treated like a for-real pet rather than as a sexual partner? She sighed; her relationship with Kim was getting crazy, confusing, and weird. The odd thing was that she did not mind the change like she thought she would. She was going with it because it seemed like the right thing to do, the better thing to do.

“Hello, pretty lady,” Junior greeted Shego as she opened the door.

“Hey, Junior,” Shego replied and she was going to usher him in, but she did not see the point in that. He was not going to be there for long if she had anything to say about it and she did not want to have to force him to leave if things came to that. She could just slam the door when it was all said and done, which worked for her.

“It’s funny. I was just thinking about you,” he said with his usual charming smile.

“You’re always just thinking about me it seems. You need to get a new image in your head or something,” she teased him.

“No, I’m fine with the one. I like thinking of you,” he replied smoothly.

Shego laughed a little bit. He was one of the few guys that she had ever met that tried to smooth talk her and to hide what it was obvious he wanted from her. He might genuinely like her for all she knew, but it just was not enough. In her mind, she would always think that he was just being nice to her because he wanted to sleep with her, which he did want to do. Of course, he did want to sleep with her, but he liked her enough to not push the issue as much as he usually would with other women; not that he had to push the issue with other women.

“You might want to invest in a new hobby. Junior, we can’t hang out anymore,” the green-skinned female stated plainly.

Junior appeared to be completely bemused, which he was. “I do no understand,” he admitted. Her statement seemed so out of the blue to him that it just did not make any sense.

“Yeah, I’ll bet. Look, you’re a great kid. Great to party with and everything, but I can’t do it anymore,” she replied.

“Wait, you’re breaking up with me?” he asked in total shock.

“Breaking up?” she echoed and it was her turn to be bewildered. “We were never dating,” she pointed out.

“What? Yes, we are dating,” he argued.

“No, Junior, I was just hanging out with you because you know how to show a girl a good time. We’re not and haven’t been dating,” Shego explained.

“Yes, we have! You are my girlfriend!” he insisted in a shout. It seemed like he was throwing a temper tantrum.

“Um…no,” she said. In a moment, she was just going to slam the door in his face and let him cry for a while in the hall. As much as she hated to concede it, she knew that he would get over her quickly. He was young, three years her junior in fact, good-looking, and rich as hell. He was bound to forget about her soon when a bunch of girls started throwing tits and ass in his face. She was actually all right with him getting over her, he should do just that. It was not like she was going to miss him at all, so he should just get over her.

“How could you break up with me?” he screamed with tears in his eyes. He legitimately liked Shego and she was the first woman to ever break up with him. He realized that he disliked the feeling of being the one cut off, especially since he liked her.

“Junior, we weren’t going out,” she pointed out again.

“You can’t do this to me! You’re a nobody! Just a green police officer with a tiny apartment and an ugly cousin! I won’t let you do this!” he bitterly declared.

Shego frowned; Junior was unaware of how close he was to leaving her building through the hallway windows with scorch marks covering his body. He had just hit too many points that did not need to be touched with his outburst. She was far from a nobody, her apartment was beyond fantastic, and her so-called cousin was a darling little creature, much better than Junior ever would be, even if she was whiny.

The pale woman did not let Junior off the hook, even though she did not throw him out of a window. She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him down to her level. She then smirked at him; she looked about the closest thing that he would ever see to a demon on Earth.

“Listen carefully because I’m not going to repeat this, you spoiled brat. First of all, you and I aren’t so different from each other, believe it or not. You’re going to go home and cry to your daddy about this nonsense, I can see it in your eyes. He’ll react because you’re spoiled, but once something comes at me, I’m going to react. I’m going to react harshly because I’m not a nobody and, believe it or not, you’re not the only one with a parent that knows how to spoil a child. I won’t even have to say anything, but after you come after me and even if I crush you like the big bug you are, and I will crush you, I promise you that. But, you’ll still have to deal with wrath of someone far worse than I am. You’ll have to deal with a devil. So, my advice to you is to watch your mouth, suck it up, and get the fuck out of my sight,” Shego stated.

The moss-colored woman shoved Junior away with a force that he did not expect, showing off more of her powers aside for her plasma. He coughed when he luckily impacted the wall instead of one of the many windows; he would have easily gone through the glass if he had hit the thick windows and had fallen right in the courtyard four stories below. He did crack the wall and he fell to the ground, clutching his chest. He glared at her as if he wanted revenge; he had something beyond a murderous intent in his sapphire eyes.

“Change that face and don’t be stupid. Go home, because if I have to put my hands on you again, the jaws of life won’t be able to pry me off,” Shego promised him.

She remained in the door way, waiting to see what he would decide. A few of the tenants exited their apartments, wondering about the noises that they were hearing. She glared at the few people that came out looking to mind her business and they all wisely returned to their homes. Junior slowly rose to his feet and continued to stare daggers at the raven-haired female. He made an angry fist and she did the same. He then relaxed his hand and he headed toward the stairs to leave. Shego scowled.

“I love making new friends,” Shego sarcastically commented to the air. She actually liked making new enemies; she loved it when they realized that there was no way to stop her or get back at her.

“Shego, what’s all this noise out here?” Miss Crocket demanded to know from the down the hall.

“Just getting rid of some vermin,” the pale woman answered.

“This is just unbelievable. I will not put up with this anymore,” the Texan declared.

“That’s makes two of us,” Shego remarked and she slammed her door on the landlady. Miss Crocket frowned; she definitely was not looking to keep the green-skinned woman in her building anymore.

Next time: the return of Isabel and she will not be happy.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60