The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Sixteen

In sync


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TITLE: In sync

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4662

Shego caressing her pet.

My mistress has been taking great care of me these past couple of days. I feel so much better, especially since she’s been staying with me. See, I know she likes being with me more than Junior, even if she doesn’t seem to realize it, but that’s why she stayed with me. She wants to make sure I’m all right and I am. I’m always all right as long as she’s there for me and with me. I just wish that she would realize that she’s the same in regards to me. I’m there for her whenever she needs me.

Kim’s eyes fluttered open and she was a little confused about where she was. She noticed that she was pressed against something very warm and comfortable; her head was resting on something extraordinarily soft. She then noticed that it was her master that she was lying on and she was lying rather brazenly on the pale woman. Her head was on Shego’s right breast, her leg was across both of her mistress’ legs, and her arms were wrapped around the older woman’s torso. She did not feel so bad once she felt Shego’s hand against her back, keeping her in the position that she was in. It seemed that her master had no problem with how she was on her, so the slender hero figured that she should not have a problem with it.

The redhead decided easily and quickly that she liked being in the position that she was in, even though she was practically clinging to Shego. She glanced up at her mistress and noticed that she was still sleeping. Wow, Kim thought in pure astonishment; she was the first one awake for once. It was such a rare occurrence that she had to do something, if only to celebrate the moment, as bizarre as that might sound. So many options, her mind commented.

What would bad pet Kimmie do, she asked herself. Well, that was an easy question to answer. Could she really do something so wrong? Um, hell yes, her mind answered and she concurred wholeheartedly. It was time to do mischievous things; she would only consider doing such things with her master.

Kim slowly moved her hand from resting at Shego’s side, making sure to be careful to avoid waking her owner. She placed her small hand on the supple cushion that she was not resting on. She cautiously explored the spongy mound, trying her best to not wake up the woman that she was fondling. She tried her best to get to flesh without pushing the cloth away to the point that she might wake up her mistress. Her fingers quietly marched on the bare breast, enjoying the smooth, warm flesh.

The hero then proceeded with the next part of her very naughty decision. She moved her head and kissed where her head had been resting, an equally supple cushion. She kissed around the tank top that her mistress was wearing. She was attempting to not apply too much pressure, lest she disturb her owner’s sleep and all things would come to an end for her to get yelled at, which would not be any fun. She also wanted to avoid the tempting, tantalizing flesh or she might not be able to stop herself, she believed. She feared that she might go too far if she actually tasted Shego’s skin.

The raven-haired woman noted something was rather odd the second that she woke up, even before she opened her eyes. She did not want to believe what she knew was happening. She supposed that it was much better than waking up next to Junior, she thought to amuse herself. Another thought went through her head and that was that she doubted Junior was as talented with his hands compared to the hand touching her now. She shook that thought away; well, she tried her best to shake that thought away.

“I guess you finally feel better,” Shego commented while yawning slightly.

“Shego!” Kim gasped.

The small redhead removed her hand and mouth very quickly. She looked up at her mistress and grinned nervously at the older woman. She was just glad that Shego could not read her mind or she would have to duck all of the pillows on the bed and maybe some plasma blasts. She was also happy that the emerald-eyed female had woken up because she had been prepared to do so much more than kiss the cotton-covered gem that was always hidden from her. She was certain that she would have crossed the line if her master had remained asleep for only a minute more.

“I’m in trouble, huh?” Kim asked in a pitiful voice. The tone was a way to get out of being in big trouble if she was in a bit of a snag. But, the way that her mistress had acted when catching her in the act did not make it seem like she was in too much trouble. She knew that her master enjoyed the attention, but that was the first time that she did not pretend to hate it.

“Possibly. Now, I’ve got to go work. Can I trust you to just stay in here, sleep on the couch, and not eat too many sweets?” Shego countered. She would not feel right punishing her pet for her actions because she believed that her monster was getting over her sickness and there was also the fact that Shego was not complaining about the attention she had just gotten.

“I guess,” the petite adventurer answered. It did not sound like much fun, but it did sound like something that she could do for her master’s peace of mind.

“Then I’ll go make breakfast,” Shego stated.

Kim grinned while her mistress rose from the bed. The green-skinned female rubbed her girl’s head and then left the room. Kim was rather pleased to know that she was not in trouble for so blatantly molesting Shego. She was glad to know that she could get away with such a thing without getting barked on now. Maybe she could do it again sometime soon, she considered. It might help her mistress try to be with her again, or so she hoped. It would be fun no matter what the outcome.

Shego sat at her desk, trying not to allow what happened that morning to plague her mind. Of course, it was not working and the morning was plaguing her like heavy rains at a fair. She pondered what her pet had been doing and her reaction to it, not to mention her lack of reaction to it. She had not barked at the little pervert for her actions. She had not hit the little troublesome imp; she had not even expressed any anger, mostly because she did not feel any anger. She had not done anything at all, aside for treat the actions as if they were cute and probably left her monster believing it was all right for her to do such things. Hell, she had even made cinnamon pancakes as if she was rewarding the kid for fondling her. She had actually reinforced the idea that her pet would get away with such distasteful behavior.

Now, of course the actions were not cute and it was not all right for Kim to do such things, Shego told herself. The slender hero had been groping her while she was asleep; such actions were not adorable in any way, shape, or form and should not be tolerated. It was vile behavior that someone like Kim should not be doing since she was supposedly a goody-goody with everyone except for her master it seemed, but Shego was far from surprised that her pet had done such a thing, considering it was something that her girl did often and seemed to really enjoy.

She was, however, surprised by how it felt. It had felt so good to be touched in such a manner, even though it was like a tease because the slender scientist had not applied any sort of pressure to the touching. She had been a little disheartened when the playing ceased and she had come very close to groaning in disappointment and frustration when it came to an end, but she felt that it was best that it had stopped. Kim was her pet and she needed to stay that way. Right, it was for the best; they had proven that, she believed. All right, she had somewhat proven that it was best for Kim to just be her pet. Somewhat was the keyword there.

“Daydreaming yet again?” Doctor Director inquired in a taunting tone as she walked over to the desk.

“Unless you’re going to give me an assignment or take me to lunch, move along,” Shego answered. She did not feel like being bothered at the moment with the way the morning was on her mind.

“That middle one sounds good,” the one-eyed woman commented. It had been the reason that she wandered over anyway.

“Don’t you have work?” the employee asked curiously. She could have sworn that the big boss was trapped behind towers of paperwork.

“Look, I get an hour lunch break just like the rest of you lazy bums,” the chief remarked with a half-smile.

“We get forty-five minutes,” Shego pointed out to be annoying.

“Do I give a damn? Get up and come on before I decide to pair you up with a rookie and let you do some training,” Betty teased.

“Oh, you’re a bitch,” the pale woman riposted as she climbed to her feet.

The chief only laughed a little bit. They exited the building and wandered down to their favorite little, nearby café. They were starting to wish that another restaurant would open up close by. It was not that the food or service was not to their liking at the café, but they would just like to have some choice in places every now and then. After all, being able to have a choice was what life was all about.

“It’s getting hot,” Doctor Director noted while looking around at nothing in particular. Summer was not too far away.

“Yeah. Do you think that’s why crime is at a bit of a stand still?” Shego asked. She knew that if she could be, she would be sunbathing because it seemed like perfect weather for it. She knew that the holiday season made people seemingly lose their minds, so she considered that heat might help make people inert.

“Don’t ‘yeah’ me. You probably didn’t even notice that it was getting hotter,” Betty stated.

“Okay, you got me. I was just guessing from everybody’s wardrobe. I can actually feel it a little bit, but not enough for it to bother me or for me to notice that it’s getting hotter,” the younger woman explained. There was no point in summer that ever bothered her now. She could probably wander a desert and it would not bother her.

“You know I hate you, right?” the one-eyed woman remarked.

“I figured as much,” the pale woman blandly replied.

The pair ordered their lunch; they never ate anything heavy, considering that there was a chance that they might have to do some running in the day. Shego had a grilled cheese with fries and Betty had a salad. They ate quietly for a while; it was probably the first time that they were silent for more than a minute with each other. It was impossible to maintain; they disliked the silence and preferred to speak with each other, no matter what was being said.

“I woke up this morning and found Pumpkin fondling me,” Shego casually reported as she ate a fry.

“That kid is such a damn pervert,” the brown-haired woman commented. She doubted that she had ever heard of such a perverted girl before. She also doubted that her friend could surprise her with such words about the little brat anymore. She would not be shocked to hear that Shego woke up and found the brat, as vulgar as it might seem, eating her.

“It felt good,” the green-skinned officer easily admitted. She supposed that it was bit weird that she could confess to her friend that it felt good for Kim to touch her like that, but she could not tell Kim things like that. After all, Betty was the one that would judge her and have a hefty opinion while Kim would merely jump on her and start touching her like that again more than likely.

“You’re such an animal. It’s like you’re always in heat. It felt good because you haven’t been touched decently or in even a slightly good manner in years. So, stop thinking about it. You’re not going to sleep with that little brat,” the older woman ordered.

“I wasn’t thinking that,” Shego objected. Okay, she was lying just a little bit. She had been considering at least allowing her pet to touch her like that again because it had felt delicious and something told her that was really the tip of the iceberg.

“Good, keep not thinking that. You’re not a lesbian and even if your brat is a brat, you can’t lead her on like that,” Betty soundly stated.

The chief thought it was a bit cruel for Shego to let the petite redhead think that there would be sex somewhere in the near future as far as their relationship went when Shego was the furthest thing from a lesbian. The green-skinned woman had never even considered experimenting with a girl before. She never showed any kind of interest in the same sex.

“No, I lack a conscience unlike you, so if I do feel like it, I could do whatever I wanted to my little brat. She’s my pet. I can do whatever I want with her,” Shego declared in her own firm tone.

“Like you would,” the chief scoffed.

The one-eyed woman knew that her friend spoiled Kim as if the bothersome kid was royalty a good deal of the time. She cared about that brat very deeply, even if she did not want to acknowledge it. Shego would never purposely hurt that kid, Betty believed. She might hurt the kid by accident because the pale woman was not as perceptive as she should be about others around her, but Betty was certain that her friend would never wound that kid on purpose.

“You let her do whatever she wants to do. She’s your spoiled little brat if anything,” the boss stated.

“Do you—?” Shego was not even able to get her question out because her friend knew where she was going with it.

“No, I don’t, so don’t try to have sex with her, Shego. You know you shouldn’t even think about it. Look, just because you love someone that doesn’t mean you should have a sexual relationship. We both know there are several types of love and just because you feel strongly for the kid, it doesn’t mean that you want her sexually. Just because she wants you in that way, it doesn’t mean you have to return that. You don’t have to sleep with her and you shouldn’t try,” the elder woman said plainly.

The supervisor believed that if Shego were to sleep with Kim, if only because the brat wanted it or because Shego eventually let her curiosity get the better of her, it was not going to end well. The emerald-eyed woman would, first of all, just be toying with the brat’s emotions, which would be far from right. The kid was annoying and useless for the most part, but she did not deserve such cruelty, especially from someone that she trusted enough to be the person’s pet. But, she guessed that would be something that her younger friend would not understand, which was also another reason why she did not think that Shego should try to sleep with the redhead.

The one-eyed woman knew that her friend viewed sex mostly as a physical activity, not an emotional one in the least. Shego did not understand that there could be some sort of feeling in the act that transcended bodily pleasure when it came to coupling. It was all just about ecstasy to her. She had never thought about doing it beyond physical pleasure or to know that she was sexy. It was never an emotional connection involved with sex when Shego was around.

Betty was willing to bet that sex was an emotional activity to that brat, though. It might even be soul-touching to the little annoyance if she were to be intimate with Shego because it was obvious that the brat intensely loved her mistress and if Shego treated the act like she did every other sexual encounter that she had ever had in her life, she would probably, almost certainly crush that irksome kid. That idiotic brat did not need that and, frankly, Shego did not need it either. The emerald-eyed female functioned best when her pet was happy and goofy, so her pet needed to stay that way.

“Shego, just leave that brat alone,” Betty seriously ordered. She did not want to have to deal with her friend if something did injure the brat, thus screw Shego up, which would make several lives miserable at the station, hers most of all. In fact, Shego could mess up several lives with one mistake if it was hurting her brat.

“I’m not going to sleep with her, so chill out,” the pale woman stated. Man, her friend worried too much.

“Seriously, Shego. You’ll screw with that kid’s mind,” the older woman pointed out. The brat was already a little batty in her opinion because she stuck around to be Shego’s pet and she was in love with the pale woman for some insane reason, so she did not think that her moss-hued friend needed to shake up the kid’s head anymore. She should just be happy with how they were and leave things at that, in Betty’s opinion anyway.

“Bet, chill out. I’m not going to do it. I’m not a lesbian, remember?” Shego pointed out with a dismissive wave of her hand. She was fairly certain that she was not a lesbian, despite the fact that she liked the physical attention that she got from her little redhead and the fact that she sometimes found herself eyeing her pet with less than innocent intentions.

“Knowing you, you might try just it to piss someone off,” the one-eyed female commented, quite seriously.

“My father would hate for me to be a lesbian,” the raven-haired officer mused aloud.

“Shego,” Doctor Director said sternly.

“I’m just saying,” Shego argued.

“You are so wrong,” Betty said while shaking her head.

Shego stared down at Kim, who was resting in her lap. The redhead had finally figured out that to avoid her nightmares, she should sleep as close as possible to her mistress, which was fine by her. It let her know that Shego was with her and not engaging in some crime against nature. Her master did not have any objections; she enjoyed having her girl lying on her, which might explain why she never moved the scholar unless it was absolutely necessary. She sat there and just rubbed the petite hero’s shoulder while watching one of her new favorite game shows; Kim had gotten her interested in some obscene little trivia show. Leave to her pet to discover some of the weirdest things that television had to offer, she thought.

The green-skinned female glanced down at her pet. She was still thinking about what had happened that morning. It had been such a delightful sensation that Kim had sent racing through her and she wondered if she honestly wished to experience such a thing again because she did think that it was plausible for her to have sexual relationship with Kim or because she really had not been touched properly in who-knew-how long. It was probably because she had not had good sex in so long because she was already so certain that she could not have a physically intimate relationship with her little monster, even if she was good at what she had been doing that morning. Kim was her little monster, after all, so of course, she would not have a sexual relationship her.

Maybe, Shego considered that she should just go sleep with Junior. Maybe he could scratch an itch that she really did not want to acknowledge was there; in her opinion, acknowledging the itch would have only been more trouble than ignoring it. She did not desire to sleep with him because she truly believed that she would never be able to get rid of him afterwards. She really did not need or want that kind of annoyance in her life, especially for an extended period of time. Not only did she not need it, but her pet did not need it either; if he was going to be around her, then that meant he would have to be around her pet. As a good owner, she could not, in good conscience, bring such stress into her pet’s life, especially while she was recovering from an illness.

There was also the underlying fact that she never really thought about, but was there plainer than the reason that she did think about. She was not sexually attracted to Junior. Sure, he was handsome and he moved well and she shared drunken kisses with him, but she was never really aroused by him. Nothing inside of her was screaming that she should jump him for any reason at all, which she would have thought was odd if she was looking to even think about it.

The pale woman then thought that she could just go out and get freaky with a random guy. It would not be the first time that she had done such a thing and she doubted that it would be the last time. It seemed like something that she could do, so she would give that plan a try the next time that she went out, just to get rid of the itch and prove to herself that was why she kept thinking about what her imp had done that morning.

Shego did stay in for a few days; she had to make sure that Kim was sleeping properly. The redhead enjoyed the extra special attention she noticed that she was receiving. It felt great knowing that someone cared so much about her wellbeing, especially when that someone was Shego. She felt better since she was able to catch on her sleep and she hoped that her nightmares were gone for good without her needing to sleep next to her master every night, almost like a little kid. She would soon find out the answer to that.

Kim was left alone in Shego’s bed one night while the raven-haired woman went out to club-hop with Junior. The sapphire-eyed young man seemed extremely happy that she was finally going out with him after so many days without her. His joy did not last too long when he noticed that there was a man hitting on Shego at the first club that they went to. He went to confront the guy about what was going on almost as soon as he noticed the pair.

“Um, excuse me, but what is going on here?” Junior demanded to know, speaking to Shego and the gentleman buying her drinks.

“Whoa, who’s this big fellow?” the new, smaller guy inquired.

“Junior, meet Roland Pond. Roland Pond, meet Senor Senior Junior,” Shego introduced the pair in a rather bored tone. It seemed that she was going to require a lot more liquor to survive the night and go through with her goal.

Roland Pond was now her intended target since he was splurging on the drinks, but he was far from an interesting creature. He had things that would have caught her attention in the past if only for a little while, but they seemed to lack all luster to her now. She was not sure why that was, but she was still going to try to go through with her plan because she felt that she really needed that itch scratched and that way, she would stop seeming to encourage her pet’s bad behavior.

“Roland Pond? The manager of the Oh Boyz?” Junior asked in a very excited tone; his outrage apparently forgotten over something that Roland had tried to impress Shego with. She had heard of the band, but she figured that someone had to be a teenager and tone-deaf to enjoy their music, but from Junior’s actions, she guessed that she was wrong about being a teenager to enjoy the music.

“The very same,” Roland answered.

Junior actually squealed from his excitement and delight; he might as well have been a crazed fan-girl from the way he just acted and in public no less. Shego was now certain that she was going to need more drinks if she was going to have to be around both Junior and Roland. She ordered another shot while the fellows got to talking about something that she was sure she did not care about. It turned out that Roland had heard of Junior and offered to take the pair down to the studio at that very moment to see where the Oh Boyz recorded their latest album. Junior jumped at the idea like an eager child about to receive candy. Shego was not too thrilled, but she did have to follow the action.

“If there’s beer, I’ll go,” the pale woman conceded. No beer, then she would go home. Sleeping next to her pet was better than going to some sound studio to see where a boy band lip-synched their crappy music.

“Yeah, plenty of beer,” Roland answered, as if he knew that was what it would seriously take to get Shego to go along with them.

“Hell, let’s go,” the green-skinned woman sighed. Free beer versus overpriced liquor; free beer always won by a landslide.

The studio was not very impressive; well, to Shego it was not very impressive, but there was beer and that pleased her. While Roland showed Junior all of the equipment, Junior acted like an amazed child at a toy store and Shego drank. A few minutes into everything, she noted that Junior was gone.

“Hey, where’d happy boy go?” Shego inquired. It seemed that Roland knew a cool trick, which was how to make Junior disappear. It would be nice if he could teach it to her.

“Who cares?” Roland countered; it was a sound argument to her.

“You make a good point,” she replied and tipped her drink to him as congratulations for getting rid of rich boy.

Roland smiled a bit and got himself a drink; he was glad that he had sent that annoying rich boy searching for the bathroom in the very wrong direction. He hoped that the kid stayed away for a good long time from the look of the lady that he was with. He took a few gulps from his drink and then smirked at Shego.

“What?” she asked when she noticed his expression, as if she could not guess what was on his mind.

“Ever done it in a studio before?” he inquired with a mischievous look in his eyes, which were covered by sunglasses and Shego honestly thought that was a bit pretentious, but she was not going to have to deal with him for long. He only had one purpose.

“No,” she answered bluntly.


“Hell, yeah,” she answered with a smirk of her own. It was about time that she got rid of that itch.

Next time: Is Shego really about to do this?

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