The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Twenty

Ownership rights


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TITLE: Ownership rights

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4320

Shego caressing her pet.

Okay, okay, okay. I need to calm my breathing and my heart. The best thing ever has happened. It really is the best thing. Shego has decided that I’m enough for her, as in she will not be dating anyone anymore. I have her all to myself! Now, there weren’t any promises of sweet, passionate sex, but still, my mistress is now mine and that’s the most important thing.

“Mine, mine, mine,” Kim chanted as if she was at a sporting event. She felt hyped up, as if her team had won a big game, but nothing like that had happened.

The redhead was laid out on the floor on her stomach with her head propped up in her hands and she was staring at exactly what she was claiming. Well, she was eyeing part of what she was claiming, namely her mistress’ ass and in her opinion, it was a glorious sight. She was grinning while letting the only person in the apartment know that Shego was hers; Shego was, of course, the only other person in the apartment.

“Are you going to keep saying that?” the green-skinned female inquired with a tired sigh. Her pet looked so elfish and adorable that she could not find it in her to yell at the irksome kid to get her to stop. She was even making a pie, as if rewarding her monster for being such a pest.

“Yup,” Kim replied with a wide grin.

The petite hero was very happy because Shego was all hers; the older woman had not said so in as many words, but that was the idea that Kim got from it. The green-skinned female had come clean about the nature of her relationship with Junior just last night. She had talked most of the night and Kim had listened, like a good little pet for once. When the pale woman had finished, Kim admitted that she knew about Junior, but she did not know the whole truth and told her mistress such.

The slim adventurer had confessed that she saw her master kissing and being groped by the sapphire-eyed young man one night, which had upset her enough to cause her nightmares. Shego recalled the night somewhat and informed her munchkin that she had been very drunk and that was why she had been acting so wild, but not anymore and she had never done anything with Junior. The emerald-eyed woman then promised to be a responsible pet owner and focus all of her energy on her little monster; she then tickled Kim until the redhead rolled off of the bed to get away from her torturous mistress. Once she calmed down, Kim realized that her mistress was all hers. Yes! It had taken all of her self-control to not dance in the room. She maintained a calm and cool exterior, but on the inside, she was screaming with joy.

“Mine, mine, mine, mine,” Kim went back to humming. She had been saying it all day. She was so overjoyed; she doubted that she would be able to explain her feelings on the matter and even if she could, she bet that no one would understand.

“Wrong, you’re mine,” Shego decided to correct her brat since the little annoyance was going to just lie there, kicking her feet up, and grinning while repeating that one word like she was a trained parrot.

“And you’re mine,” the younger female countered.

“No, you’re my pet,” the pale woman stated.

“And you’re my mistress. Mine. All mine,” Kim declared with a cute, impish look in her eyes.

Shego snorted in protest. What a foolish statement, she thought. Since she was the mistress around the house, then everything was hers, pet included. The pet could not have the master; the master had the pet, which was why the master was the master. She decided to stop thinking about her monster’s words. She knew that her girl was just looking to be bothersome; it was working, as it usually did.

While the raven-haired officer decided to focus on her task, Kim got up from her space on the floor. She crept up behind her owner and embraced her. Shego snorted again, as if she did not want the contact, while the redhead wrapped her arms around the older woman’s waist. She sighed like a content kitten and then she began rubbing her cheek into her mistress’ shoulder blade; it was a soothing thing to do as far as both of them were concerned.

“All mine,” the slender adventurer whispered. It was about freaking time a small voice in the back of her mind commented.

Shego did not say a word, but it felt so good to have those little hands pressed against her abdomen. It was lovely to have those slim arms around her. It was delightful to have that lithe form against her. It was just all around fantastic to have the redhead in her life.

The pale woman supposed that she had made the right decision in devoting her time and basically herself to her pet. Kim made her feel damn near special and no one else on the planet could or had done that before. No one made her feel close to what Kim did.

But, she still was not Kim’s; Kim was hers and she wanted to get that point across. As she thought about it, baking the irksome creature a pie probably was not the best way to go about asserting her dominance in the apartment. She was going to have to stop seeming to reward her pet for acting out and she was also going to have to show that she was the one in charge. After all, she was the mistress of the house.

(New day)

Shego exited her apartment and was met by a glare from her landlady. She sighed; why her, really? What had she done to be cursed with that woman as a building owner? She was so sick of Anita Crocket. She could not believe that the woman was still in her ass, so to speak. It had been so long since she had someone in her butt so deeply and she did not like it. She hated being so popular with annoying people, as she looked at it. Making a new enemy was one thing, but having an irksome person that lived within yards of her was just too much.

“What?” Shego snapped since the blue-eyed woman was standing right in front of her and eyeing her as if she was plotting against her; obviously, something was up.

Miss Crocket only frowned and walked away, thankfully in Shego’s opinion. She did not want to have to deal with that annoying biddy, although she was curious for a couple of moments why the woman was just standing outside of her door. Did that old bat really have nothing better do with her time? She decided to dismiss the incident from her mind as she proceeded to the stairs and went to the exit of the complex. As soon as she was out on the street, she ran into two fingers, which thumped her right in the center of her forehead; it was something that she would do to Kim to punish the annoying kid.

“Ow!” Shego complained as if the blow actually hurt and she ignited her hands in fury, even though she knew that there was the only person that would dare do such a thing to her. “Damn it, what the hell, Mommy?” she demanded to know before she even noticed her mother was there.

“Do you have any fucking clue about all of the damn phone calls I’ve been getting thanks to you? Shit, it’s like you’re a damn teenager again,” Isabel declared in anger.

The middle-aged woman’s plan had been to go upstairs to Shego’s condo, warmly greet Kim, and then pluck her troublesome daughter in the forehead. But, she did not mind things not going according to plan because she still got to thump her daughter in the forehead. She would also get to holler at her troublemaking daughter as she planned; she would greet Kim once she done chewing Shego out.

“Doesn’t sound like my fucking problem,” Shego countered with an attitude since her mother had shown up all angry and hitting her in the forehead as if she were a disobedient child.

“Oh, no? I bet it would sound more like your fucking problem if I whipped your narrow ass right here in the street. And put those damn hands out unless you do want to throw down right here and right now,” Isabel stated firmly. She was being very serious.

“I probably could take you down, you know,” the green-skinned daughter pointed out in a defiant tone since she knew that her mother meant her words.

“Do you want to chance that one? I’m pissed enough to take you on and put you out for the rest of day,” the middle-aged woman proclaimed.

“What the fuck are you so pissed about? I didn’t even do anything,” Shego argued. It had been a wise decision on her part to change the subject since her mother seemed to really be attempting to pick a fight.

The super-powered woman did not understand why her mother was so upset with her. She had just been living her life as usual, so she did not see what the problem was. She did power down her hands, in case her mother was serious as she seemed to be. She was not supposed to show fear in front of her mother, but she was also not supposed to provoke the woman enough to where a fight would be instigated either. It was a fine line that she walked when it came to the older female.

“Oh, no? Then why the hell is my fucking phone being blown up like I was in a damn war?” Isabel inquired while waving her cell phone in her daughter’s face, further showing her irritation.

“Do you want me to break it?” Shego inquired with a frown.

“Firefly, I’m not playing around here,” Isabel said.

“Look, Mommy, I don’t know what you’re going on about,” the younger woman insisted.

“Fine. Where are you going? I’ll tell you all about it on the way.”

Shego frowned; she did not want to spend the day with her mother. It just was not a pleasing option in her opinion because she could not stand being around the older woman. Besides, she somewhat had an idea as to what her mother was so furious about and why people were calling her phone like it was the end of the world and she had all of the answers. She decided to not argue; her mother was too hardheaded to listen anyway. They went to her car since it was likely that her mother took a cab to her apartment; she was not even sure if her mother owned a car now that she thought about it.

“So, are people calling you about getting me thrown out of my apartment or a billionaire brat looking to get some horrible revenge on me?” Shego asked curiously as she jumped into the driver’s seat.

“Both. It’s so exhausting,” Isabel sighed while getting on the passenger side. “What did you do?” she inquired.

“Well, my complex just got a new landlady and we hate each other about just as much as most people hate me and I hate most people. The billionaire brat didn’t seem happy when I told him I didn’t want to party with him anymore and I did fling him into a wall,” the moss-hued woman explained as if the reasons were nothing at all.

“Well, those people are calling in favors and word quickly got back to me. I hope you have something planned for them,” Isabel commented.

“Oh, you’re actually going to let me do something without trying to hold my hand or criticize me while doing it? Wow, thanks,” Shego replied sarcastically.

“Oh, hahaha,” Isabel said in an equally sardonic tone. “You always need my help,” the mother declared.

“That’s a quaint little world you live in there, Mommy. I need your help as much as I need a hole in the head. I can handle this shit on my own,” the younger woman proclaimed.

Isabel looked skeptical by those words; Shego expected as much. Isabel was a strange mother to have and Shego bet that if she was given the choice, she would never pick the woman to be her mother. Her mother knew how she was, seemed to respect her, but also never wanted to allow her to do things on her own when it was so very clear that she was capable. Her mother treated her like a baby sometimes in her opinion and it, of course, irked her to no end.

Isabel was not trying to be overbearing or overprotective; although more often than not, she knew that was what she was. It was just that Shego was her only daughter and she was used to giving her a lot of attention, even when she did not like it or did not want it. She was used to stepping in because she did not want anything to happen to her little girl. She always felt that she was the only line of defense that her little girl had. Besides, if anyone was going to hurt Shego, it was going to be her; no one else could even touch her daughter. She knew that it was a strange way to look at things, especially since she was serious, but to her, it just meant that she was the only one allowed to be harsh with Shego if it was necessary.

“So, where are we going?” Isabel asked since she now knew why she was getting so many phone calls. She was already thinking of ways to assist her daughter, even though one would not be able to tell from looking at her to know that she was scheming.

“I need to pick up something for Pumpkin,” Shego replied.

“Still spoiling her, huh?” the older woman inquired with a slightly warm smile. She was so happy that her daughter had found someone to share her life with and someone that made Shego so noticeably happy.

“Just making sure she knows who’s in charge,” the super-powered female answered. Her mother tried her best to not look skeptical on the response, but she failed considerably.

Shego and her mother climbed the stairs in Shego’s building. They were heading for her home, of course. They were both holding bags and even though they were not truly irked, they appeared to be annoyed by something. It was just their shared expression when neutral. As they hit the top of the complex, they ran into Anita Crocket; well, now they would have a reason to appear to be bothered.

“They say speak of the devil and he shall appear,” Shego remarked; she and her mother had been discussing her landlady in depth on their trip.

“Odd, I always pictured the devil taller,” Isabel commented while taking a good look at the landlady.

“Only because you once filled the position,” the daughter quipped.

“Is it that you want me to put you over my knee?” Isabel asked dryly. Miss Crocket, not knowing who Isabel was, took the comment in the wrong context.

“Who are you?” the Texan demanded to know, thinking that she had another “pervert” in her building. Her usually polite demeanor had slipped because Shego had been getting on her nerves, so she just did not like anyone in Shego’s company now.

“Such an endearing tone. Who might you be?” Isabel countered in a light tone, as if she was not offended by the way the blue-eyed woman spoke to her.

“Anita Crocket. I own the building,” the blue-eyed female declared.

“Ah, how impressive and here it is I thought you only made those cookies. I had heard you were older, though. Supposedly much older than I am. Plastic surgery does work wonders,” the middle-aged martial artist remarked.

“You mean this is the cookie bitch?” Shego asked her mother in disbelief.

“Yes, she would be that Crocket,” Isabel answered.

“No shit,” Shego muttered. She actually bought her landlady’s brand of cookies often because they were her pet’s favorite brand. The lady on the box did not look anything like the complex owner; apparently, plastic surgery could do just about anything now.

“And who are you?” Anita demanded to know, speaking to Isabel again.

“Isabel Gooding. Shego’s mother,” the emerald-eyed female answered in a calm tone. She was not particularly famous for any one thing, so she did not expect a businesswoman to know who she was like she knew who Miss Crocket was. One needed to have a wide range of hobbies to know Isabel Gooding, or at least be very into martial arts.

Miss Crocket frowned; it seemed that she did know the name. The mother and daughter figured that Miss Crocket would know Isabel since she was one of the reasons that the middle-aged martial artist’s phone was ringing nonstop. Isabel had so many connections that her children could not walk down the street most of the time without her finding about it, so it was impossible to be looking to throw her daughter out into the street without her knowing almost immediately. She also could not allow that to happen, so the Texan was learning the pull that the Gooding family had; it did not help matters that Shego herself had her own connections and people did owe her debts. Miss Crocket was playing tug-of-war against two powerful women by accident; she had assumed that she would only have one opponent and she thought that her money would come out on top.

“You’re quite the popular woman,” the blue-eyed female said to Isabel in a clipped tone.

“Only active. I suggest that you get a hobby, though. She’s been here long before you and will remain until she wishes to leave, but not a moment before then,” Isabel replied.

“Do you know what kind of woman your daughter is?” the brunette woman inquired. She considered that Isabel might be ignorant of the fact that her daughter was keeping a young redhead as a sex slave; it did not seem like a fact that a mother would know about her daughter.

Isabel glanced at her daughter. “I’m vaguely aware,” she remarked.

“I doubt it,” Anita commented.

“Why? Do you have some fanciful news that you’d like to privy to me?” the graying woman inquired as if she cared. She doubted that it was possible for someone like Anita to give her information about her children that she did not know. Her information tended to come from friends and associates that happened to come across her children or knew people that knew her children. It was a complicated and reliable network.

“Look, Mommy, you can stand here and have this stupid conversation, but I’m going home,” Shego stated while turning to go to her door.

“I doubt that she has anything worth listening to,” Isabel said.

Miss Crocket frowned again because of the rudeness; it was obvious to her where Shego got her attitude from. The mother and daughter went to the door and Isabel entered first. The mother was tackled around the waist and fell over because of the surprise hit; Kim had embraced with wrong Gooding. They just look so much alike and she had not been expecting Isabel to come in with her mistress since Shego had left the apartment by herself. The green-skinned female could not help laughing as Kim seemed dumbfounded while gawking back and forth between mother and daughter.

“Good to see you, Princess,” Isabel commented with a small, amused smile. She even rubbed the top of Kim’s head.

“I’m sorry!” Kim apologized wholeheartedly as she crawled off the middle-aged woman. She offered her hand to help Isabel up, which the older woman took and allowed Kim to pull her up. The slender hero then grinned sheepishly. “I thought you were Shego,” the redhead explained.

“Such a warm greeting, but only for your crabby mistress, huh?” Isabel said, still smiling a bit.

“Yup,” Kim answered with an impish expression as she embraced her owner tightly. Shego petted her munchkin as a greeting, but did not return the hug because her mother was there and watching.

“Still a happy little pet. I’m guessing Shego’s taking very good care of you,” Isabel commented. She wondered if she would always think that they were so cute together. She guessed that it was because Kim was so adorable and that she made Shego act so unlike herself that it was endearing.

“Yup, Shego’s the best,” Kim proclaimed sincerely.

“Stop trying to kiss up. I won’t make you any pasta no matter how much you try to butter me up,” Shego stated. She always assumed that her pet was attempting to get something like pasta when she began singing Shego’s praises.

Kim pouted, as if she was truly hurt, and she released her mistress. The moss-hued officer rubbed her pet’s head again before walking off toward her bedroom to get rid of her bags. Isabel went to the living room to put her bags down. She sat down on the sofa and the slim redhead followed her.

“You’ve been taking good care of her, right?” Isabel asked Kim. She was, of course, referring to Shego.

“To the very best of my ability, ma’am,” the little hero reported with a salute, which caused the older martial artist to smile again.

“You are just too darling, you know that?”

“I try,” Kim replied. She doubted that she was as darling in the outside world as she was with Shego. What had started out as an act when she was eighteen was now a part of her personality once her master was nearby.

“You know, I had the opportunity to see you in action on television recently. It is hard to see you outside and picture you with her. I realized then just how much you must really like being with her,” Isabel commented.

The hero that she had seen on television was almost the opposite of what she was used to seeing when she saw Kim. Now, she knew that people in action were different than when they relaxed, but still, she got a better idea of what Kim was capable of doing and to see the redhead in action and then picture her with Shego was an odd thing. Someone like Kim being a pet was someone like Shego being a pet, Isabel believed; it was just close to impossible. So, for Kim to be willing to be Shego’s pet spoke volumes of how much the slender adventurer truly enjoyed being with the cantankerous officer.

“Well, I guess I like being taken care of too. I’m actually like this now. While I’m here, without trying, I’m just like this,” Kim explained with a shrug.

The redhead was not ashamed of how she was, like a hyper child sometimes or a lazy puppy other times. Her mistress liked her that way and she liked being that way. Besides, Shego made her even more energetic than she typically was and made her focus that energy differently than she usually would. It was comfortable to be how she was and to be taken care of while taking care of Shego in return.

“So, what did you buy? What did Shego buy? Was it something for me?” the olive-eyed girl asked anxiously while looking at Isabel’s bags.

“Well, I bought some art supplies for my baby boys. Shego bought some things that I’m sure she doesn’t want me to disclose,” the graying female replied.

“Then it’s something for me!” Kim cheered and grinned.

Isabel could not help laughing just a little bit; the petite scientist was certainly an adorable little creature and she just could not help thinking that several times every time that she saw the redhead. She doubted that anyone would truly know how much she appreciated Kim for being able to bring her daughter so much joy. Despite everything that she and Shego had been through in their lives, all she really desired was for her daughter to be happy and Kim made that happen. She pretty much loved Kim as much as she loved her own daughter because of that.

Shego entered the living room, which ended the conversation between her pet and her mother. She was frowning, which was because she disliked leaving her mischievous elf with her mother. She could imagine them sharing all sorts of tales about her or exchanging information on her. It was far from a pleasing thought.

“Staying for dinner?” Shego asked her mother curtly as if she would prefer that the older woman just leave.

“If I’m welcomed,” Isabel replied and her daughter snorted.

“She wants pasta,” Kim chimed in.

“Nice try,” Shego said, causing her pet to pout. And then, Kim got an impish idea.

“Did you know she’s mine,” Kim informed Isabel while pointing her thumb at her mistress. Shego wasted no time slapping her monster with a throw pillow. The scientist fell over in an overdramatic fashion, which amused Isabel, even though she did not show it.

“Do you want to starve tonight?” the apartment owner demanded to know, speaking to her irksome pet.

“Mine, mine, mine, mine, mine,” the redhead chanted, earning another hit with a downed cushion. It took all of Isabel’s self-control to not laugh at the scene, but she did smile.

Next time: Isabel has dinner with the pair and then has a brief conversation with Miss Crocket, a stupid conversation in her opinion.

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