The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Eighteen

Universally appealing


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60

TITLE: Universally appealing

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

NOTE: Sorry this took longer than usual. Me and my think tank wanted to make sure it was perfect…okay, I don't have a “think tank” per se, but me and two other people thought long and hard on this to make it what it is.

Warning, this fic is about to put in some work for it's rating and I don't mean for language. Saying anything more would spoil it, but know that this thing is about to earn that rating.

Words: 5453

Shego caressing her pet.

My mistress wants me, but she can’t seem to do anything about it. I don’t know if I should do anything about it, even though I really want to because, oh man, I want that woman badly. It’s like scratching at the depths of my soul and probably hers too. I just don’t think I can do anything about it, though. I mean, I am just a pet and she is the mistress around here. But, I like to be helpful when given the chance, especially when it plays to what I want around here. Hey, I am the selfish, irresponsible pet. I’m supposed to help her let go.

Kim was curled up next to Shego, despite the fact that she was not sure if her mistress wanted her to do that. Shego had not said anything about where her pet was, but she did not make any move to hold her girl like she usually would. She did not think that it would be right of her to touch the slender scholar after practically taunting the redhead yet again, even though the girl seemed to forgive her. She had once again started out as if she was going to make love to Kim, but stopped before anything happened and they were both thinking about it now.

The green-skinned female frowned slightly as she thought about why she kept stopping. Before it felt like she was forcing herself on her pet because of the way that she was acting and now the thought occurred to her that she might disappoint her pet even if she did deliver. She did not know anything about having sex with another female; worse yet, she did not know anything about having sex with someone that mattered. She did not want to let Kim down and she also did not want to embarrass herself. She was not sure what she was going to do, especially with the damn itch she was experiencing; little did she know, but Kim had the same itch.

The redhead was not too sure what to think of the fact that they had once again started and stopped. She thought first that it was because of her, like her mistress did not find her attractive or something. But, Shego had assured her that there was nothing wrong with her; the older woman had placed the blame squarely on herself. So, she continued to wonder what the problem was. Why was it that Shego continued to start and stop? She seemed to want it just as badly as Kim, so what was the problem? Why could the pale woman just not go for it?

The petite hero did think on the matter for a long while that night. She reminded herself that everyone was not like her; she dived into the unknown head first with a smile on her face almost everyday of her life, but most people did not live like that. She then considered that the main problem could be the fact that her mistress had never slept with another female. The thought might make her mistress uncomfortable or maybe she could not come to terms with being attracted to another female. After all, her master believed that she was straight. That was one of the things that made it take her owner so long to even admit to liking something that it was obvious that she enjoyed, namely kissing Kim. The hero wondered if she should take matters into her own hands.

She wondered if she would be overstepping her boundaries if she were to take control of the situation. She was willing to bet that she would be doing just that because it involved her being the active one in a relationship where she was supposed to be passive. But, she thought that if she left things to her master, they would never get anywhere or at best it might take a really long time, more time than either of them needed to be subjected to. It almost seemed like a damned if she did, damned if she did not situation.

Kim tried to think back to when she first realized that she liked girls and how she reacted to it; she thought that might help her help her mistress without her having to take matters into her own hands. It had not been a big deal to her when she noticed that she was attracted to girls and the first time that she had sexual intercourse with a girl, she had not had too much of a chance to think about what was happening. It all happened way too fast for her to think at the time. Well, that was not much of a help. She guessed that she might just have to be a naughty pet if her mistress did not get her act together. It seemed like the simplest solution to their problem.

Kim was sitting on the bedroom floor doing a puzzle. It was Shego’s day off, which made it her day off. They were lounging around the bedroom. Shego was on the bed, reading a book while her pet was putting together a huge puzzle to keep her out of the pale woman’s hair. It was working so far; Shego was thankful for puzzles with so many pieces.

The green-skinned female did glance down at her little monster every now and then, noting how quickly Kim was solving the puzzle. She did not think anything of that and turned her attention back to her book. She was resting her back against a couple of pillows and the book that she had in hand was thick; she had been meaning to read it for a long while now.

Shego thought that she and her pet needed a break from watching so much television when they relaxed. Kim had no objections to that, especially after her mistress had pulled out a new puzzle and spilled it on the floor. Kim was practically drooling at the sight; there was something about solving things that pulled a trigger in her brain and made her act. The kid was just too easy, Shego thought.

Kim placed the pieces down at a remarkable speed. She was good at puzzles and it usually took about three of them to keep her out of Shego’s hair for the whole afternoon. The emerald-eyed woman had taken that into account when giving Kim the puzzle that she had at the moment. She thought to do something that she figured would be distracting by playing some R&B music while the olive-eyed female worked to make sure that it would take the redhead a while to finish the complex puzzle. She was fairly certain that her pet disliked such music; the truth was that Kim was not very distracted because it took a whole lot more than some music to take her off of a task. There was also the fact that she did not have anything against R&B; she just did not listen to it on her own. She even liked the songs that her master played throughout the day.

They were good and quiet for a while; both of them remained on task and did not move too much. When Kim was finished with her puzzle, which was of the solar system with a lot of black space in it that Shego believed would help keep Kim busy, the redhead rose to her feet. She went over to her master and laid down right on top of her, not caring that the older woman was reading; hey, she was a selfish pet and she wanted some attention now. Shego made an irked noise as the young lady settled on her torso. Kim tried to grab the officer’s free hand to get Shego to caress her, but that did not work because Shego needed her hand to flip the pages in her book, so she refused to pet her little monster.

Kim wanted attention, but it did not seem like she was going to get it. She was losing to a book, which did not sit well with her at all. She wanted Shego to pay her some mind and then she realized the position that she was in. She was straddling Shego’s waist with her head resting right at her mistress’ neck. Well, what she was about to do was a no-brainer as far as she was concerned.

The redhead began with grinding her hips against Shego’s body. The pale woman almost automatically put a hand on Kim’s hip to get her to stop her actions; she did not even have to think about putting her hand there. The slim hero was far from deterred in her actions. She had a good idea in mind and she was going to get what they both wanted and needed. The slender scholar began to lightly lap at her master’s neck like a thirsty kitten, taking quick, short licks at the skin.

“Pumpkin,” Shego said, trying her best to sound aggravated by what the younger woman was doing. Her tone was close to working as she wanted it to, but not close enough to get her pet to reconsider what she was doing.

“Hmm?” Kim asked, staying pressed against the pale green skin.

“Stop doing that,” the moss-hued female ordered.

“Doing what?” the scientist asked, still nipping at Shego’s neck with her tongue.

“Just stop.”

Kim seemed to consider the order, but not really. She ceased her actions for a moment, but then continued on tasting her master. The flesh was just too good and she wanted to go as far as possible. She decided that she was not going to stop unless Shego physically forced her to do so.

“Can you give me this moment?” Kim requested, speaking into Shego’s delicious skin. “Let me have this just once. Only one moment, only this one moment. Just once. Let me…” she whispered.

“No,” Shego answered; she wanted to sound firm, but it was hard to do with her monster’s breath on her skin. She could not give her girl that moment because it would change everything. Their relationship would change. Besides, she would not be able to deliver. She just was not up to it.

“Yes. Let me make you feel like nothing else in the world matters but you. Let me do this just once, if only once. Just let me show you how great you are…” the adventurer implored her mistress.

They both wanted and needed her to do what she planned to do. The struggle needed to end. Her master just needed to accept everything and allow her to show her master just how well they went together.

“No,” the raven-haired female stated again. She could not allow Kim to take her anyway. It would be backwards; Kim would be in control of the situation. She would be at the mercy of her pet. That was just backwards; she was the one that was in charge.

“Yes. Give me this, please. Just give me this, please,” the slim hero requested. Of course, it was not just for her, even though her words made it seem that way; it was for Shego too. Her hands had started roaming her mistress’ abdomen. Her touch was feather-light, but still tantalizing all the same. Her breath on Shego’s neck was just as tempting as the hands floating across her stomach.

“Princess, stop,” the pale female commanded while making sure not to move or sound anything aside from annoyed because she did not want her pet to be encouraged by any reactions.

“Please, let me,” Kim implored as she began to suck tenderly at the older woman’s neck while her hands massaged Shego’s ribs.

“What good would it do?” Shego inquired. It was one time; one time was meaningless as far as she could tell. The whole thing was meaningless and it could possibly ruin everything that they had. It was not worth it.

Kim seemed to disagree and took the question as a green light to get started for the simple fact that Shego had not denied her that time. She would show the older woman that it was far from meaningless and everything was going to be all right. There was nothing to worry about; there was no shame in allowing her to pleasure the officer. It was just something that she deeply desired to do, even if she only got to do it once; she thought that once was all she needed and she would be able to open her mistress’ eyes to know that they could work.

Kim lifted her head and kissed Shego deeply and passionately to assure her that it was all right. The hero’s hands continued to be busy as her tongued danced with Shego’s. The mouth was warmer than the body, Kim noted, but the body was just as worthy of a thorough exploration. She was planning to devote as much time to that body as she could. She wanted to know all of that body’s secrets and hidden treasures, if only once.

The adventurer’s hands affectionately searched her mistress’ torso. She was stealthily and lightly pushed Shego’s pajama tank-top up out of her way somewhat. She caressed Shego’s bare abdomen and ribs, but she had yet to touch the more sensitive hills, her favorite area. There was a plain black sports bra in her way. Kim was going to take her time anyway, so she stayed away from the places that her hands truly desired to go for a little while.

Shego did note that those little hands felt better than any other hands that had ever touched her. She considered that maybe she should still try to stop Kim, but she could not. She wanted it to happen and she was not even thinking about the consequences anymore. She just wanted the touching to keep going and to get deeper.

The redhead broke the kiss that she was sharing with the older woman. She gently lifted the sleeveless tee-shirt off of Shego and stared at what was revealed to her, even though it was not much since there was still that affront of a bra blocking her view. She could now see the whole of the moss green sea of skin that was Shego’s torso. It was as if she was gazing up the whole wonderful universe, but the stars of the universe were still out of her sight, hidden by the midnight black of the bra. She would stargaze soon enough, she promised herself, but she was not going to rush things.

Kim leaned in for another kiss, another taste of the green-skinned woman. Shego seemed to finally comprehend what was going on, so she dropped her book, which she had still been holding onto because she was not too sure if Kim would continue or not. For some strange reason, she had considered that eager scholar would stop, like she did every time that she started up. Kim was not about to do such a thing, not when she could show Shego just what it was like to be physically loved by someone that truly loved her with all of her heart and soul.

One of Kim’s hands, impatient and impulsive, made its way underneath that onyx sheath of a bra and began feeling for that which was hidden from her. She had actually never felt the bare breast; there was always some covering in the way. So, on that heavenly body, she sought out one star, knowing that it burned for her just as much as she did for it. As she reached her intended destination, she began to burn beyond anything she had ever felt. She could hardly believe how much she wanted the woman underneath her; in turn, the emerald-eyed woman also could not believe how much she wanted the woman above her.

Shego groaned into Kim’s mouth when she felt the hand on her breast. The attention at the moment was infinitely better than all of those times that Kim had fondled her before now that she was touching her bare skin and not some cloth. She arched slightly into the hand, hoping for more.

The hero quickly realized that she needed to see what she was touching immediately. She required a better view to do the best job that she could, to make the heavenly body underneath her quiver and melt. She moved her other hand to assist the one already there and lifted the cloth covering her goal. She once again had to break the kiss to be rid of the offending fabric.

The pale woman appeared to want to protest with removal of her bra. She was typically very against showing her bare breasts because of the color of her skin. Her entire body was green, including the peaks of her breasts. She had long ago found out that people seemed to think that such a thing was disgusting and she generally flat-out refused to remove her shirt during sex. She even attempted to cover herself now.

Kim took hold of her mistress’ arms when she saw that they dared try to hide the very suns of that heavenly, delightful body. She forced Shego to place her hands on her hips to keep her from attempting to hide anything. She held Shego’s hands in place on her hips while turning her olive gaze to the globes that she had never seen before and she felt like she was witnessing the greatest view on Earth. She was struck silent by the sight. She was in awe, but her master was nervous because of the quiet staring.

“So beautiful,” the petite scientist managed to whisper. It felt like déjà vu to the older woman and that set her at ease.

The slender hero slowly leaned down to appreciate one gem with her mouth. Her tongue examined one mound in one deliberate motion while her hand investigated the other with just as much curiosity and satisfying intent. The taste was scrumptious, so close to divine that just being able to touch the skin was paradise for her; Shego must have been made from the nectar of the gods, she concluded. She felt the hands on her waist clench, so she increased her activity and she began to feel sharp nails biting into her hip, but even the pain felt good by now.

Shego threw her head back because of the sensation that was coursing through her like a wild river. She was biting her lip now to keep her from crying out. No one had ever made her feel as she did at the moment. How could such a little girl make her feel like her whole body was about to combust at any second? No man had ever made her feel close to what she was experiencing now, like her whole body was engulfed by the energy and light of the sun. She felt like she could go through a thermonuclear reaction at that very moment and Kim had hardly moved from where she was. Could the slim redhead actually make her explode just from paying homage to her breasts? Her body was starting to point directly to a definite confirmation on that question.

Kim approached her work something like a math equation; it was to be contemplated and calculated, yet it was still like an adventure to her because not only had she never done it, but she liked math like most people enjoyed hobbies. She made sure that each part got proper acknowledgement and careful deliberation to get the best and correct result. It might sound tedious, but she made sure to keep working while going at her task in such a manner and her work was paying off.

The redhead’s brain found it necessary that her mouth move to the neglected hill top of the green body that she was attending to. Her hand replaced her mouth to make sure that the other mound did not feel lonely and get the wrong idea that it was no longer desired. Once she was at the new mountain, she teased the forest green peak for moment and then she feasted as if it was sweet pea.

Shego’s hands moved with her orders from digging into Kim’s lower limbs to holding the hero’s head in place. Kim was surprised by the sudden pressure and her teeth grazed the jewel that she was trying to be so cautious and loving of. Shego hissed, but Kim quickly made up for her error, not that the older woman really noticed the pain. First, the adventurer gently kissed the area, much like a mother would do to a child with an scraped finger. She then went back to her almost methodic treatment of the pea in her mouth. She soon noticed Shego’s body shaking underneath her and she could guess what happened. She looked up to see Shego had her head thrown all the way back and her mouth was forming an “o” with no sound emitting from her; Kim had once been told that she was good at doing that with above the waist attention.

The hands holding Kim to her place against Shego’s chest loosened and allowed the redhead to move onto the next part of the equation, to explore more of the heavenly body. She placed two kisses on the stars of the body and then proceeded to make her way to the center of the whole universe. She kissed her way down the warm tropical ocean of flesh, taking her time with everything. She stayed in one place almost long enough to leave a mark, but she always pulled away just in time to prevent any bruising.

Shego recovered by the time Kim made it to her bellybutton. She could not believe that she had just climaxed from that action; the redhead was exceptional with her mouth it seemed. She had never felt something like that before. She could only wonder what was left and if she was going to survive.

Since Kim was at Shego’s navel, she stayed there for a while to explore of the cavern with much interest. Her hands had remained up north, reluctant to leave the hills that she had finished devouring. Unfortunately, her hands would soon have to leave their new friends because they would have to remove an extremely offensive piece of cloth. She found that when she needed to move her hands, they both remained where they were. Kim just did not want to stop paying attention to those mounds, even though she was looking to go further along.

The adventurer had to take a deep breath as she decided to move one hand and she had to promise herself to do it quickly, so that her hand could return to its happy place. She tried to remove Shego’s shorts with one hand, but she could not get down the length of her legs without moving more of her body much more than she wanted to. She sucked her teeth in annoyance and quickly rid Shego of the shorts. She found herself gawking at the body underneath her; it was the sun and the moon to her. She was looking at paradise.

The raven-haired woman, who was now panting and sweating, wondered why the attention halted. She saw the younger female staring at her. She wondered what was going through Kim’s mind. She did not think to try to cover herself now, but she did wonder what it was that the redhead saw when she looked at her. Was she really so magnificent to Kim? Was she really so radiant to another person?

The redheaded hero doubted that Shego would ever understand how glorious she was to Kim. The slim adventurer actually almost forgot what she was doing when she saw the emerald-eyed woman’s practically nude body; the only thing that was hiding anything of Shego from her eyes now were a pair of plain, black cotton panties. She left those in place for the time being and decided to go examine the newly discovered world of Shego’s thighs.

There was a place that she never thought to visit, Kim realized; she had never touched her mistress’ legs before. She was going to make camp there for a while and she began by rubbing Shego’s inner thigh with her nose while her hands went back to where they wanted to be. She kissed and licked the inside of Shego’s legs, making her way to the shielded center, but she turned away when she made it Shego’s core to start the path over from there to the bottom of the thigh.

The pale woman was tempted to just push Kim’s head to where she needed to be, but she held off. She would allow the redhead to do it her way, especially since her way was incredible so far. It was a little nerve-wrecking for her to be so close and then to pull back, though.

Kim continued to lick and kiss at the new areas, tasting some of the sweat from her hot-blooded mistress. She was starting to smell the interior of the whole of the world and it beckoned her like a siren’s song. She was desired there and she was going to have to oblige; she just could not fight it.

Kim’s resolve completely crumbled and she could not stay away from that beacon. She moved her nose from the thigh that she had been so captivated by to the very focal point of her mission, feeling a very well kept secret. She honestly had no problem staying right where she was with her nose touching another treasure that was hidden to her, but it seemed that the celestial body that she was so intent on worshipping wanted her to get back to it; Shego had accidentally pushed herself into Kim’s face because she was aching to be touched right where Kim had positioned herself.

The hero began placing soft pecks over the covered center. Her ears were picking up sounds coming from Shego; whimpers and moans to be precise. She figured that it was time to get to the final act. It was time to show Shego that she was paradise.

Kim would have liked to shed her clothing, which was feeling very tight and confining, but she was not going to do that. She wanted it to be all about Shego, to make her completely comfortable with the notion of them being able to make love. She also wanted Shego to understand that she was everything to Kim; she was all that Kim needed. She would give the pale woman everything that she wanted and needed if she was given the chance. So, she slowly removed the one last thing that hid Shego’s celestial form from her and when she finally saw the sight that haunted her dreams, Kim whimpered a bit because she was so overwhelmed by the view.

Once again, the adventurer seemed stuck now that she had moved to the next phase. She first licked her lip, which was trembling. She could not believe what she was about to do. She truly was before a feast beyond earthy comprehension. The fruit of the gods that was before her were bare, as smooth as a fresh plum, just like the other tantalizing flesh on that beautiful form. She was going to devour that silky skin, which was slick with nectar.

Kim went back to her exploration, in search of that precious pearl that had been nudging her nose only seconds ago. She would honor it as best she could for as long as she was allowed. Shego unintentionally cried out, hissing in deep ecstasy when Kim’s mouth came in contact with her most sensitive area. She had no idea that it would be like that as she was kissed in a way that she never had been before.

The redhead had never so eagerly leaped into such a task before and she was determined to do the best job that she ever had. She went slowly in order to savor what her mistress tasted like; she marked it down as forbidden honey because anything that tasted so good had to be forbidden. One of her hands moved from where they were still playing with Shego’s breasts to put a pale green leg on her shoulder for better access. The hand never returned northward, but found a new area of interest, the officer’s rump.

While her hand kneaded the new discovery, her mouth continued on and she was making her master pant. Shego’s heart was racing and she felt like she was overheating. She bit her lip and ended up breaking the skin, but she failed to notice. Her eyes watered as the pure ecstasy washed over her like a tsunami. It hardly took a minute of such delight before she knew that she was going over the edge and even when she did, the attention did not stop. It actually continued to get better; she could not believe it.

Kim was laid out on the bed, spread out like a lazy cat. She heard the shower stop and a few minutes later the door opened. Shego stepped in and sat down on the bed. She stared at the redhead for a few moments, just thinking about the slender hero and the things that she had done.

Shego could not believe that someone could make her feel so indescribably incredible. The incident had been mind-blowing and mind-numbing at the same time. It was not wild, but far from chaste; she had never experienced such unbelievable passion in all of her days. It was just unfathomable and almost humbling. It had been moving, frighteningly so. It was so earthshaking that it was disturbing.

She had just been pleasured by her pet in a way that she never had thought was possible. She had just finished screaming the name of her pet; her pet’s actual, true name had escaped her lips loudly and coarsely more than once, followed by some other words that she had never thought she would speak to her little monster. She had essentially clung to her pet, hands and legs held the redhead in place, even though the hero had no plans on moving.

Her pet had done things to her that no one had ever done; no one probably even thought to do those things to her, she was willing to bet. Kim had tasted her like she was a nutritious meal; no one had even thought to touch her like that. Her little monster was now her little lover. What were they supposed to do now? What were they now?

Kim was thinking too, but her thoughts were very different from Shego’s. She had come to realize that she had just done something that she might never get to do again; after all, she only begged for once and there was the chance that her master would continue to struggle with things despite the fact that she had obviously enjoyed herself. The thought of never doing it again was actually worse than having never done it. Before, it was all left to the imagination, but now she knew what everything felt like and tasted like, what the reactions were, and all of the things that she wanted to do. It seemed like she would never get the taste out of her mouth now, she would always be hungry for what was not there anymore. Now, the memory would always be there, forever and always, but out of her reach. The itch that she had been feeling over and over again since the first time that she thought Shego would make love to her would undoubtedly grow unbearable one day now that she knew what she would never have again.

The redhead dreaded that the older woman would pretend that the whole thing never even happened now that it was over. Even worse than that, what if Shego went back to Junior? She was already fairly certain that the pale woman was dating that pretty boy idiot; she was probably doing more than dating, her mind pointed out. She was not too sure if she would be able to stand her mistress having the nerve to go back to Junior after what she had just done. It would be like Shego tearing her still beating heart from her chest. So, where would they go from there? What were they going to do now?

Next time: the aftermath the event.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60