The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Twelve

Sleepless in the loft


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TITLE: Sleepless in the loft

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4324

Shego caressing her pet.

I consider myself pretty smart. I know I’ve been classified as a genius, but I don’t know about that. After all, would a genius screw her life up this much? I doubt it. But, I do think I’m pretty smart and I’ve got a good brain…so, why is it betraying me? I knew what was going to happen the moment that it was decided I was just a pet, so why does this bother me so much? Probably because I know I’m the one she wants, even if she doesn’t know it.

Shego woke up and held her head. She had a minor hangover, which she expected. She had done too much drinking last night, she scolded herself. She should know better than to drink that much, she silently berated herself. She had to be careful; she did not want to get too messed up around Junior. At least she could hold her liquor well because if she could not, she would not be surprised to wake up next to that handsome idiot that she was hanging around with. Even though she would not be surprised, she really would rather not wake up next to him. She would rather not even chance going to bed with him.

The pale woman turned over and was astonished to see that she had been sleeping alone. Where was her cuddly munchkin? She yawned slightly as she considered that her pet might be up in the loft; the redhead had fallen asleep up there a couple of times while reading or more recently now studying. She gently massaged her temples as she got out of bed and went to take a shower; not to mention, brush her teeth considering it tasted like something died in her mouth.

Once she was refreshed and dressed, Shego went to make breakfast. After getting the meal together, she went to the loft. She knocked on the wall to get her girl’s attention. When Kim did not poke her head out as she generally did, Shego climbed up to the space via the ladder. She curled her lip up in disgust when she saw her imp’s space. It looked like a library had vomited in the loft; there were books, magazines, papers, rolls of film, and photographs just covering the whole loft to the point that she could not even see the floor. She would call it a pigsty, but that was an insult to pigs as far as she was concerned. Her pet was leaning against the wall passed out like a lush with a book in her hand.

“Pumpkin,” Shego said as she shook her monster wake.

Kim mumbled incoherently; the sound did imply some sort of distress. Her eyes fluttered open as soon as the noise left her mouth. She was glad to be awake; she had been having one hell of a nightmare. When noticed her mistress, she thought that she might still be dreaming. At least one element of the nightmare was gone if she still was asleep, she thought, and that was a relief.

“Come on, breakfast,” Shego informed her little brat.

“Huh?” Kim asked as if she did not know what breakfast was. She was obviously dazed for some reason that her master could not see. Her nightmare had really screwed up her whole works for the moment; she was extremely disorientated. It did not help matters that she had not been sleeping well for the past few nights.

“Food,” Shego stated plainly.

“Oh…um…not really…” Kim mumbled, but she did not get the chance to finish her grumbled response.

“Don’t pull this ‘you’re not hungry’ bullshit. You’re always hungry. Now, go eat,” the green-skinned female commanded.

The redheaded scientist pouted, but she did not argue with her mistress. She dropped her book and hopped down from her space, all the while making sure not to make eye contact with her owner. She trotted over to the table to find that she was having oatmeal for breakfast. She was actually a huge fan of oatmeal, but after that dream and all of the ones that she had been having that night, she doubted that she would be able to stomach anything all day, especially something as heavy as oatmeal. She wished that the images would fade away the moment that she opened her eyes, but she seemed to have no luck in life when it came to her mistress.

“What time do your classes start today?” Shego asked as she sat down to eat her bagel and egg while she read her paper. She noticed that her girl seemed very out of it that morning. She did not think too much of it because it was only that day, but it still bothered her.

“Nine,” Kim answered in a mutter.

“You should get moving then,” the older woman pointed out. Usually, her pet would have been practically drinking her meal to make sure she got out of the door in time for class, but she was definitely a step behind that morning.

“I’ll be fine,” the redhead stated. “I’m never late…”

“No?” the raven-haired woman inquired, just to keep her monster talking. She thought that the girl might pass out if she stopped speaking to her and she did not want that to happen; that was how out of it Kim seemed.

“No,” the student replied plainly.

“You’re in a jolly mood,” Shego noted sarcastically.

“Bad sleep,” the olive-eyed scientist admitted. She rubbed her forehead as if that would make those horrible images from her mind. They were still there; they were still haunting her. Damn it, that was beyond unfair; it was pure evil.

“You need to organize your schedule better to avoid all that late night bullshit you’re going through. You want a ride?” Shego offered, figuring that might lift her pet’s spirits. Besides, she was not too sure if she trusted her girl on a bus alone for an hour with the way that she was acting at the moment.

“I’ll manage,” the redhead insisted.

“You sure?”

“I don’t want to make you late.”

“Ah, come on. Hurry up and I’ll take you in,” the pale woman proposed. She was going to take her girl in to make sure she got there and she might even surprise the kid and pick her up just to be sure that she was all right.

Kim did not argue, partly because she did not have it in her to do so and, hell, her master probably would never offer to ride her some place ever again unless she was going there herself. She quietly ate her meal and went to brush her teeth. She got dressed in some street clothes, grabbed her books, and left the apartment with her owner. She was thankful to not have to creep out of the apartment for once; there was no way that Miss Crocket would approach her with Shego there, which was good because she just did not feel up to dealing with the woman after the sleep that she had gotten. She did not feel up to much after the sleep that she had gotten, but she was certain that she could endure it.

Shego hoped that she got called out for an assignment sooner or later or she knew that she was going to fall asleep at her desk. Her hangover was pounding and her eyes were trying their best to close because her brain was demanding rest. She knew that if she could get her adrenaline pumping, then she would be all right until she went home. She just needed to do something in order to stay awake.

She also needed something to stop thinking about her dazed pet. On the ride to her campus, Kim seemed to just look worse. It appeared that she was ready to nod off in her seat and Shego had actually offered to take her back home for some sleep, but Kim insisted that she was going to be fine. It was on the ride to Go University that Shego made up her mind that she was going to pick up her monster from class too and she told Kim as much. She ordered her pet to be waiting for her in front of a certain building when she was done with school and Shego was going to go get the girl to make sure that she was all right.

“You look like hell,” Doctor Director noted as she sat down next to her good friend.

“Feel that way too,” Shego answered honestly.

“Partying hard lately,” the chief guessed. The look on her friend’s face, especially her eyes, told Betty that her younger friend was more than likely bugging out.

“It’s fun,” the younger woman replied with a shrug. She could not lie and she could not help it. It was just fun to go out and act like she did not have any good sense for a few hours every night or so. It was not really a relief, but it was fun.

“It was fun when you were doing it ten years ago too. I do believe we all know where that went,” the one-eyed woman commented with a know-it-all smirk.

“I was a dumb kid back then. I was just too stupid to figure out that too much of a good thing is bad. I’m cool now. I made it to work and everything,” the employee remarked with a tired smile. She really felt that it was an accomplishment that she made it to work with the way that she felt at the moment. Those sick days were looking mighty tempting now.

“That is an achievement, I suppose,” the boss conceded. She would have been being sarcastic if she did not know what would have happened if Shego allowed her fun times to get the better of her. They were lucky that she made it to work instead of something ridiculous, like waking up next to some strange man whose name she would not even be able to recollect.

“Tell me you came over here to give me an assignment,” the pale woman slightly pled. She really wanted something to do; she knew that if she did something active, she would feel better. She was probably the only person on the planet that could work off a hangover with work.

“Wish I could. I came over here to kill time,” Doctor Director answered with a small chuckle. She was looking to avoid doing her work.

“That’s just a damn tease,” Shego complained in a grumble.

“Me coming into work and only having paperwork is even worse,” the one-eyed woman commented. She was a woman of action, but ever since she started and built up her department, she found herself being a woman of inertia. It was hard on her, but she liked what she built up and she would maintain it. She just required a break every now and then like everyone else.

“Ah, your job is bullshit anyway. I don’t know why you even bother,” the raven-haired woman stated. She was sure that if she had the boss’ job, she would have quit about two days in. There was nothing fascinating about Betty’s job, except when she got the chance to join an officer on an assignment of her choosing.

Doctor Director waved her friend off to dismiss the issue; Shego actually knew why the older woman bothered with her job. She bothered with it all for several reasons, but mostly because it was better than dealing with her mother, much the same big reason that Shego bothered. It also gave her something to be proud of and compare to her other more snobbish family members work and hold pace or even go higher than they did, much like Shego. It was just better to bother with work rather than bothering with family, who tended to swear that they were so great when the pair would rather disagree.

“So, how many days have you been out partying?” the older woman asked curiously. It would give her a clue of how many days she would have before her friend had to call in for a sick day from either drinking herself sick or the fact that she had no clue where she was and she just would not be able to make it into work.

“Every couple of days,” the pale female answered. If she was not an extraordinary being, beyond the fact that she had super powers, she would have burnt out a little while ago. She did not know how Junior did it day in and day out and he was normal, but then again, he was used to the lifestyle.

“You’ll burn out eventually,” the brunette female commented casually. No matter how great Shego was physically speaking, she just could not go on partying and working at the same time indefinitely. It just was not possible, especially with the way that she did things.

“Wishing out loud?” Shego remarked with an arrogant smirk. She was going to keep going now just to spite Betty.

“Stating a fact. Who have you been going out with, anyway? Your little brat?” the onyx-eyed woman inquired.

“The brat’s no fun. You won’t believe who I’ve been hanging around.”

“Who?” Betty asked in a fascinated voice.


“Junior? As in Senor Senior Junior?” the chief inquired to make sure that they were talking about the same Junior.

“Exactly,” the green-skinned officer confirmed.

“He’s back in town? I thought you hated him. An obnoxious airhead, I believe your exact words were one time when describing Junior and that was when you were being nice. So, you’re dating him now?” the boss asked in a baffled tone.

“Not dating, just hanging. He’s been taking me to a bunch of the greatest and most exclusive clubs. He knows great restaurants too. He’s going to be around for a while, so I just thought I’d hang out with him,” Shego explained.

“You slept with him, didn’t you?” Betty accused her friend with a straight face, showing that she truly believed that the younger female slept with Junior.

“No!” Shego denied the charge vehemently. To hell with sleeping with Junior. She had some standards!

“Okay, okay. So, you didn’t sleep with him. Does he know you’re not dating?” Doctor Director asked curiously. He did not come across as the brightest bulb in the pack, so she would think that that he might interpret their “hanging out” as dating.

“Why would he think we’re dating? I never said we were,” Shego replied. She did not see why he would assume that they were dating; she did not even give the guy her cell phone number to call her. The only reason Junior even knew where she lived was because of that one stupid time that he wanted to see her dog. Hardly even invited him into the apartment when he did come by now. He was not open to any information that would be disclosed to a boyfriend, so she did not see why he would think that they were dating.

“Whatever. So, is the brat okay with you going out with Junior?” Betty inquired. Kim struck her as a strange creature when it came to Shego because it was obvious that the redhead more than likely wanted her mistress all to herself, but she had more than put up with Shego dating Drakken; she had actually tried to help that relationship. That brat was just a weird one.

“It’s none of her damn business,” the moss-hued woman pointed out.

Doctor Director shrugged, giving up the fight right then and there. She supposed that her friend had given up on the crazy idea of sleeping with her pet, which she thought was good. She did not know why the super-powered female actually thought that she could possibly sleep with that kid. Shego should have known that she could not go from straight to gay just like that. Not to mention, Kim was nothing like the type of person that Shego was attracted to. So, it was nice that Shego had regained some of her senses back and decided to leave her pet to just be the brat that she was.

“So, is Junior going to be donating anymore money to our worthy department?” Betty asked with hope in her voice.

“I haven’t asked and I’m not going to,” the younger woman replied.

Doctor Director’s face fell. “Come on, take one for the team?” she requested, even though she knew that was not going to work.

“Fuck the team. We’ve been through this before. Besides, didn’t his father just cut us a check?”

“Not recently. I do believe that the charming fact that you saved Junior’s life has worn off,” the boss answered.

“Oh, well. I’m not your prostitute, Bets. You can’t put me on the fucking corner every time you need funding.”

“Your sorry ass wouldn’t make me any money anyway. Watch yourself hanging out with that kid. You party too hard with him and the next thing you know, he’ll have your ass in the air,” the chief crudely remarked.

“Fuck that,” Shego scoffed. There was no way in hell that she was letting that kid do anything with her ass; she obviously was too drunk to recall how close she came to sleeping with him in her own apartment not too long ago.

“Since when do you even have standards? I was coming to believe that all one needed to get into your pants was a fifth appendage,” the older woman commented.

“All right, that’s it, one of us needs to do some work or I’m going to have to slap you around a bit,” the green-skinned officer commented. All right, she was rather promiscuous in her day, but she was far from the slut that Betty was trying to imply that she was. Well, she did not believe that she was the slut that her friend was trying to imply that she was.

Doctor Director laughed a bit. “So touchy.”

“Don’t hate my game just because you don’t have any.”

“Fuck you,” Betty retorted. It was the best she could do at the moment.

“We’ve already established that I’m not a lesbian, although you could probably use the action,” the younger woman remarked.

“Such a predictable answer. All right, I’ve picked on you long enough. I need to go get to that paper work that has been haunting me since it’s not like it’ll do itself. I can’t stand administrative work. I think I’ll promote you again and make you do it while I go beat people up,” Betty mused aloud.

“The hell you will. Better get your annoying little cousin to do that shit.”

Doctor Director scoffed; yeah, right. She would not trust Will to walk to the store without implicit instructions, so she could not and would not leave such important work to him. She guessed that she was stuck with it.

All right, the boss silently decided that she had fooled around long enough and she had plenty of work that she needed to get back to. She did not need to talk with Shego anymore anyway or eventually she would learn too much information. They typically learned something that they did not need to know about each other if they spoke for too long or they taunted each other too much.

Shego climbed up to the loft and found her pet up there, knocked out with a book in her hand. Shego shook her head; finals were coming and they were going to be the death of her little monster, she thought. When she had picked her pet up from school, the kid was carrying an arm load of new books; well, they were new to her anyway. She muttered something about finals being around the corner and she believed that she needed to make sure she knew the work.

Shego removed the book from her pet’s petite hand and then scanned the area for her imp’s bed. It took her a moment to spot the pallet that her munchkin did not use very often anymore; the mattress was covered in books. The pale woman cleared the bed and put her girl down on it.

“See you later,” Shego whispered and she kissed Kim on the corner of her mouth.

The emerald-eyed officer exited the loft and then left the apartment. She was dressed to go out, which was what she was doing. She was having a good time clubbing almost every other night. She just always noted that she had to be careful to avoid what her good friend had already said because there was no way that she wanted to wake up next to Junior one day. That idea not only was not working for her, but if she thought about it too much, it tended to make her feel nauseated.

Shego and Junior went down to his car and they started off to a new club. Junior had been in town for a couple of weeks by now and he had not said when he was leaving. She did not mind; she called him every couple of days to see if he was still in town and he was, so he offered up all sorts of places for them to go. She was all for the dancing and drinking. It was enjoyable for her; that was just how she was.

Kim twisted and turned in her bed. She groaned loudly and sat up. She held her head and attempted to shake away the horrible image that was now burned into her brain. She might never sleep again if she was going to keep having that nightmare or ones similar to it all of the time, she silently commented as she looked around to see where she was.

The redhead was surprised to find that she was in her bed. She was a bit confused by that because lately if she slept in the loft, she leaned against the wall because she always dozed off while studying. She rubbed her eyes with her palms and wondered what time it was. The whole apartment was dark, so she guessed that it was very late.

The slender hero climbed out of the loft and went to get in the bed that she preferred. She wandered to the bedroom door of her master and was about to burst in, but then she recalled Junior. What if he was in there right now with her mistress? Sweating over her master, touching her master in ways that she never would, experiencing her master in ways that she could only dream about? Not that she could even have pleasant dreams anymore. Kim decided against chancing seeing something else that would scar her for life and returned to her own bed.

She laid down and hoped that she did not have any more nightmares or she was never going to go to sleep again. She shut her eyes and discovered that she did not even have to be asleep to have that damnable dream. She just saw it whenever she closed her eyes. Damn it.

She sighed and turned on the light in her space. She crawled around in the loft, searching for the book that she had been reading earlier. She came across a notebook first and decided to read her class notes since finals were coming up soon anyway. She would take anything at the moment, as long as it kept her awake.

But, even as her eyes focused on the papers, she could still see the images that seemed to be seared into her retinas now. It was as if it was real, as if she had actually witnessed such a thing. She groaned softly and held her forehead with one small hand. She attempted to shake away the pictures that were in her mind. She did not want to see them; she did not want to see that.

She sighed and tried her best to focus on her notes. She had to study if only to get those images out of her skull. It was not fair, her brain began to chant. She tried to shake the words out of her head. She could not believe how her mind was betraying her. Her mind was supposed to be on her side, but it was just ruining her now. Her brain was driving her nuts.

Being awake was not good, Kim silently lamented; she witnessed things when she was awake. Going to sleep was not even an option because she saw worse things there. It was like she could not do anything right lately. Everything was all screwed up. Everything…a frustrated tear escaped her eye. She was screwed up.

Shego stumbled into the apartment. She did not have to fend off Junior’s drunken advances that night because she was alone. She leaned against the wall by the door to get her balance together. She was about to stagger right to bed, but she decided to check on her on little studious monster.

She climbed up to the loft very slowly; she had to be careful or she would have fallen off, or so she feared anyway. She scanned the place and found her pet in the same place that she had moved her girl from before. She shook her head; maybe her munchkin liked sleeping like a wino, she considered to amuse herself. She did not bother putting Kim back into her bed; she just covered the redhead with a blanket. She kissed Kim, who remained asleep, and whispered a goodnight.

“Good girl,” Shego said and then she went to bed. Another tear crept down the snoozing Kim’s face.

Next time: a glimpse at Kim’s nightmare and what it’s doing to her.

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