The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Six

The laws of physics


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60

TITLE: The laws of physics

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4626

A/N: people, on my profile there is a link at the bottom to a cool picture from this series (more the second one than anything else) and I suggest that you check it out because it’s cool. It’s by Can-o-Meat; check it out.

Shego caressing her pet.

I’m having fun, which I almost always have with my mistress, no matter where we are. I have fun with her just lounging on the couch, doing absolutely nothing. But, since we’re here, is it wrong to want more than just being here and doing what I usually do? I don’t think so and I’m hoping for more than some cuddle time for once. That would just be spanking.

The master and pet returned to their hotel room to get ready for dinner. Shego went to take a shower first; Kim had jokingly offered to accompany her mistress. Well, no, it was not truly a joke because had Shego accepted, the redhead would have gladly joined her in the shower. In fact, the hero wished that her owner had taken her up on that offer, even if she was only kidding for the moment because Kim certainly would have tried to go in there with her.

But, Shego merely told her little monster to keep dreaming before disappearing into the bathroom; she knew better then to even jokingly respond to that offer because she knew that her brat would actually try to get into the shower with her. The petite hero decided to busy herself by going through everything in the vast room, including her owner’s luggage. When Shego exited the bathroom, she found her mischievous elf examining one of her shirts. She could not help shaking her head to her girl’s actions. What was she going to do with her loopy kid?

“Is this how you get your kicks when I’m not around? I hope you don’t sniff my underwear too,” the emerald-eyed female remarked.

“I’d sniff them if you were in them,” Kim replied with a mischievous glint in her olive eyes as she turned to face her master. She had never thought of that one until just then, but man, that was a tempting plan there.

“You are just disgusting little lecher. Go take a shower, so we can go eat,” Shego ordered while pointing to the bathroom.

“Yes, ma’am.” The pet also saluted, which was expected.

Kim went to do as she was commanded to do while Shego went to straighten out the contents of her bag. She wondered if her pet was really perverted enough to be sniffing around her underwear. She doubted it; her goblin was much more playful than seriously perverted. Sure, she did have those fantasies, but everyone had fantasies. And, yes, she molested Shego, but it was nothing too serious; not that the green-skinned woman would ever tell her little monster that because she was certain that it would encourage the energetic kid. At least she was honest about things; it was more than most people were. She made her wants known without any games, which Shego respected.

The moss-hued female wondered if she would be able to fulfill the redhead’s desires. Did she owe it to her girl to fulfill those wishes? No, she did not believe that she owed Kim anything. If anything, Kim owed her, her mind commented. After all, she took complete and total care of the slender adventurer, making sure that her brat needed and wanted for nothing. She did everything for her pet, things that no other person would do for her more than likely, so she did not owe the impish hero anything as far as she was concerned.

But, her mind quickly offered up a counterargument; damn it, it just seemed like her brain was always countering itself. There was the fact that Kim remained with her through thick and thin, through good, bad, and worse times. The slender hero was the only constant in her life. Maybe she should show a little gratitude, the pale woman considered. Besides, it was not like she was not somewhat attracted to the munchkin. But, if that was the case, why was she so apprehensive about screwing around with Kim? Why could she not just do to Kim what she had done to dozens guys through out her life?

“Because she’s just a pet,” Shego muttered the answer to herself.

Maybe there was the fact that if she did have sex with Kim that would make her more than a pet. Would she be able to deal with the redhead if she was not a pet anymore? From what she could tell, she would not be able to handle Kim if she was not a pet and she did not want to lose what they had. What they had worked and it was beneficial to the both of them, in her opinion anyway. So, maybe that was why she could not be intimate with the girl. She just could not take the chance of the redhead becoming more than a pet. She could not take the chance of Kim just no longer being a pet.

There was the chance of something worse happening that also plagued her mind. What if sex was really the only reason that Kim was now sticking around to play the pet for her? After all, Kim had degrees on top of degrees, was well on her way to having a PhD, was already considered one of the tops in her field, and could probably easily get a job anywhere that she wanted. Hell, she could create her own job. Would her pet leave her to live her own life once she got what she wanted, like so many other people had done? She doubted it, but the possibility of it happening still bothered her.

“Pasta!” Kim cheered as she exited the bathroom fully dressed and prepared for dinner. It was rather obvious what she desired to eat.

“You’re going to turn into a noodle one of these days if you keep it up,” the pale woman commented.

“I’d be happy that way,” the redhead replied with a rather charming smile.

“You are so weird,” Shego stated while shaking her head. In the back of her mind, she was thinking about how adorable her girl was.

Kim only continued to smile; she preferred to think of herself as eccentric, but no matter how she sliced it, it all boiled down to the fact that she was not normal. Well, she had yet to meet someone that was “normal.” Maybe they were close to normal, but none of them were totally normal. She was just less normal than most other people.

The pair went out for dinner, making conversation about the day that they had as they ate. From what they both could tell, they had a good first day. They did try to consider what they would do for tomorrow. There were plenty of other things to do, but in the back of her mind, Kim was hoping, praying that they would get to the one thing that she deeply desired; after their first failure, she felt almost as if she needed it. Maybe she did need it; it had been years since she had been touched intimately and she was with the one person that she truly wanted.

Kim actually was not as interested in having sex as most other people were. She had had four partners in her whole life; two guys and two girls. Even with that number, her sex life had not been much of anything at all. While she was willing to try it just about anywhere, it took a while for her to get comfortable enough with a person to consider sleeping with that person. Most people that she dated did not stick around long enough for her to get into that comfort zone. The people that she did get comfortable with were gone not too long after they made it to that level. The fact that the people she was involved with typically left her was one of the main reasons that she needed to be at a certain stage of ease to do anything with them. So, she could do without sex; there were just plenty of things on the planet that she had no problem with doing rather than having hot, sweaty sex. But, there was something different when it came to Shego.

Kim felt a building, burning, almost aching desire for the older woman; it was something that she had never felt before. If given the choice to doing anything that she wanted in life and sleeping with Shego, it would not even be a choice because she would want to sleep with Shego. She would definitely want to have hot, sweaty, freaky, just all around crazy sex with Shego above anything else that she could think of.

It was not just about lust when it came to the slim hero’s feelings toward her master. There was something else; something that the slender adventurer’s could not figure out, but she knew it was one of the things inside of her that demanded that she remain with her mistress until the end of her days. She wondered how long the desire would build until she just exploded. Did other people feel such a thing? If so, how did they handle it? Kim wondered if they just waited like she did, but she doubted that most people did the things that she did.

“Did you bring any club clothes?” Shego asked curiously, which threw off her pet’s thoughts. They were eating dessert; the older female was having ice cream because she needed to cool down as far as her body temperature was concerned while Kim was having a huge hunk cheesecake.

“I think so,” Kim answered.

“Want to go party?” the raven-haired woman suggested. She always liked a good party, even if she did not like people too much. She could handle folks as long as she did not have to see them for more than a few hours. Loud music, hot guys, and lots of alcohol also helped.

“Not really,” the redhead replied. Partying had never been high on her list of things she enjoyed, even though her friends were always ready for a good shindig. She only went to parties with Monique and Ron.

“No? You’re just about the corniest kid I’ve ever run into,” Shego teased.

“I’m not corny,” Kim argued with some feeling in her voice. It seemed like her master had hit upon something that bothered her just a little bit, which was new. The older woman thought that she might explore the little sore spot since it was really the first time that she had found something that offended her brat.

“You don’t want to party,” the pale female pointed out to her pet. It had taken her about three years to find something that actually seemed to be an affront to her munchkin and she figured that she might have a little fun with it.

“So?” the olive-eyed adventurer huffed.


“I just don’t like clubs much is all,” Kim commented in an offended tone.

She had her mouth turned up to show that she was a bit insulted, which her master thought was utterly adorable. Shego started to laugh, which her brat did not like much it seemed. Kim furrowed her brow because her owner was laughing at her and she had not performed an antic worthy of chuckles as far as she was concerned.

“What’s so funny?” the redhead inquired. She really did not appreciate being laughed at right now.

“You’re so cute when you’re upset,” the older woman answered.

Kim was caught by surprise by that response and it showed on her face. She blushed a little bit because of the compliment while wondering if her mistress even realized the words that she had just spoken. Kim decided not to dwell on it and just accept it. It was a very good sign when her owner was openly admitting that she was cute.

“So, if we don’t go to a club tonight, what are we going to do?” Shego asked and that also surprised her pet a little bit.

Kim was now stunned that she was being given a say in something without having to whine about it. Maybe the vacation, even if it did not yield the result that she wanted, would be worth something. She seemed to be getting to her mistress in a way that she never noticed. She was being counted for just for being there.

“I’ve got a great idea,” the petite hero declared.

Shego looked skeptical because of the proclamation. “It doesn’t involve us doing a million things at once, does it?” she inquired. She thought that her rascal would have done well if Kim had the Wegos powers.

“No, it’s really simple,” Kim promised.

“What is it?” the raven-haired woman asked. She was actually scared to find out because Kim never wanted to do something “really simple” unless it involved her crashing on the sofa and there was no sofa around for her to crash on. She could only wonder what was going to come out of her girl’s mouth.

“We could walk on the beach. There are supposed to some caves somewhere along the beach too. Maybe we’ll be able to find them and we could check those out and—” Kim was cut off.

“Yeah, now, you’re getting complicated,” Shego interjected. “Simple was the walk on the beach,” she informed the younger female.

“Okay, so, we could walk on the beach,” Kim proposed.

“All right, we could do that,” the pale woman concurred. It was simple and sounded good. She had never walked on the beach at night, even though she had been to the tropical island several times; it was one of her favorite places to vacation.

“Spanking,” Kim practically hummed. Romantic walk on the beach, that had to be a step in the right direction, she thought. The vacation seemed to be going good.

The pair walked along the pristine beach; a half-moon accompanied them, peeking out from behind a cloud on occasion to light a path that the duo did not notice. The scene was like something out of a painting, which they both silently noted. They did not say anything about it, though.

The moon and clouds were witnesses that there was something between the two, but it was hard to figure out what that something was. They seemed content with each other and held some deep affection for each other, but they were unlike lovers with each other and, yet, they traveled a trail taken mostly by lovers. It was like they mimicked lovers, but were something completely different.

Shego was astonished that Kim was not running around like a mouse on speed five minutes into their activity. She was walking civilly next to the older woman with her shoes in her hands, just like the green-skinned woman was doing. They were both strolling along, just enjoying being next to each other it seemed. Kim was, however, keeping a sharp eye out for those caves because she knew that they were close by.

“So, Pumpkin, have you ever been here before?” Shego asked curiously since she knew that Kim was a globetrotter. In her mind, she noted how nice the walk was so far; it was a good idea.

“To this specific island or this specific space right now?” Kim inquired.

“The island.”

“Once,” Kim answered.

“What did you do?” the older woman asked.

“I came here to find some kids that were missing from a village further inland. A missionary or something contacted my site and I came right over. The kids had been missing for a couple of days. Some of the villagers thought that a monster had eaten the kids and others thought that a crazy panther might have been the one that grabbed the kids,” the redhead explained.

“What happened?” Shego inquired in an interested tone. Sometimes, she forgot that her brat was more than the lazy pet that she seemed to be most of the time.

“Nothing too serious. They fell into a sinkhole in the jungle when they were playing a game. They were all right, just a little hungry and stuff. They were embarrassed about falling in that hole and I know how they feel because that was how I found them. I fell right into the same hole. Only difference was that I had a grappling hook to get out,” Kim replied with an amused look on her face.

“You fell in? Another accident. You’re just full of dumb luck,” the pale woman commented because it seemed like every time that she was learning something about one of her pet’s adventures, the girl had an accident followed by a stroke of good fortune. Maybe she really was an imp, Shego silently considered to amuse herself.

Kim smiled a bit. “As my friend Ron would say, it’s dumb skill,” she remarked. She did not often get things done by accident, but it seemed like every time she was telling her mistress about something, it was always some lucky accident.

“I don’t see how you even managed to stay alive this long with the way that you handle things,” Shego said while shaking her head slightly.

“That would probably be dumb luck,” the hero admitted with a small smile. She was exceptionally competent when it came to most things that she did, but there was luck involved too and if she did not have some sort of luck, she was certain that she would have died a long time ago.

Shego laughed a bit and she put her free arm around Kim’s shoulders. The redhead made sure not to give away that the action surprised her; it seemed that the night was just full of surprises. She swallowed a happy sigh that tried to escape her throat and she fought back a blush trying to stain her cheeks once again. Shego did not notice anything happening with her pet; she did not even seem to notice that she had embraced her girl. She was aware of what she did, but she did not think that it was such a big deal.

“You’re such a little nut,” the officer remarked. “You have just the strangest luck. You fall into holes, but you always come out on top,” she said.

“Well, I guess. It’s not like I’m just wandering aimlessly when I fall in these holes,” Kim argued.

The slim hero did not want Shego to think that she was too much of a ditz, which the emerald-eyed woman did not. If Shego forgot that her pet was intelligent, she always remembered that the girl was somewhat capable of thinking. Most of the time, she just assumed that her pet was too lazy to do things, not too stupid.

“No, but you really need to be more careful, Princess. What if you fall into a hole that doesn’t end?” Shego pointed out with some concern in her voice.

“That’s what the grappling hook is for,” the redhead countered.

“It was a metaphor, you mook,” Shego replied in an amused voice that came along with a matching smile.

“Oh!” Kim laughed. “Well, I never think about that,” she confessed. She hardly ever thought about negative things; she just was not geared that way.

“You just do whatever comes to mind, huh?”

“No, I don’t do whatever comes to mind. Sometimes, I do that, but not all the time. I just don’t really think about meeting my demise whenever I do something. I tend to be more of an optimist about things,” the smaller female explained.

“Yeah, I noticed that.”

“Hey, the caves!” Kim grinned when she finally noticed the rocks way in the distance. She was about to run off when Shego grabbed her tightly to prevent her from escaping, which worked. “Shego, lemme go!” she whined. She had wanted to see the caves ever since she first heard about them, but she never had the time and now there they were.

“I’m not going to have you bolting off into the dark to go in a cave all alone,” Shego stated plainly.

“Then you’ll come? Let’s roll!” Kim cheered and she ran off while holding onto her mistress. The pale woman was caught by surprise with the action, so she was taken away with almost no problem because she had not braced herself.

“That’s not what I meant!” Shego protested while being dragged off by her hyper little monster. “Pumpkin!” she barked.

“Yeah?” Kim answered while making sure to keep going at full power and keeping a good grip on her master.

“Cut it out!” Shego ordered while trying to gather herself enough to pull the girl to a halt, but she could not get it together.

“Huh?” Kim pretended to not hear her owner and continued running at her top speed. She was not too sure if she would be able to keep on holding onto Shego if the older woman was able to get control of the situation and she wanted to get to the caves before she had to find the answer to that.

“Stop!” the older woman hollered.


“I said stop!”




Kim ceased her movements immediately after agreeing and Shego ended up slamming into her pet. Kim wailed from the impact and hit the white sand; Shego followed suit. They grunted as they landed on the ground. The redhead silently cursed physics and the laws of inertia while Shego snorted in anger.

“Why the fuck don’t you listen?” the green-skinned woman demanded to know in frustrated tone. Damn it, she was having a good time and her munchkin had to go ruin that by acting like a hyperactive, crazed monkey.

“You said stop,” Kim replied while crawling out from underneath her mistress. Man, she miscalculated that move nicely, she thought. Bodies in motion certainly did like to stay in motion.

Shego only snorted while climbing to her feet. She wondered what was so special about the caves that had her pet so eager to experience some piles of rock. Kim stood up and just looked memorized by the stone formations on the beach. It was too dark to fully take everything in and the half-moon light was not doing the caves the justice that the slim adventurer expected. She would not mind going in, but it was dark and she doubted that her mistress desired to go in the caves anyway. Shego probably would not want to use her powers to light their way and Kim would rather not waste the power her Kimmunicator to explore the caves at the moment.

“Okay, so, what’s so great about these caves?” Shego inquired in an annoyed voice. It looked like a pile of rocks to her.

“Well, from a biological stand point, it supposedly has a great many species creeping around in there and I’d love to see some of them. From a geological stand point, it’s made from a lot of strange rocks and some of the places have steam holes in them for some reason. From a local legend stand point—” the little scientist was cut off.

“Why is it so great to you?” Shego clarified to avoid getting the history of a freaking cave.

“Oh, I’ve just never seen them before and supposedly extraordinary things happen to people if they stand here long enough,” Kim explained.

“Like they die of hunger?” the pale woman remarked.

“They’re probably better in the day. They supposedly shine like precious stones, as if they were painted glass. But, this is still breathtaking,” Kim commented, mostly to herself with that last piece.

Shego decided to be cordial toward her little monster and just remained quiet since Kim was so awed. For about a minute, they just stood there, staring at plain rocks, as far as Shego was concerned anyway. Kim was as satisfied as the expression on her face implied; she was smiling slightly and there was a look of quiet admiration in her eyes. She took her mistress by the hand and held onto her.

“If something extraordinary does happen, I hope it happens to both of us,” Kim commented in a low tone.

Shego was speechless for a few seconds. She was actually overcome with emotion because of her girl’s words and actions, despite how simple they seemed. It just made her feel warm on the inside in a way that she had never felt before. Only Kim could do such a thing to her, only Kim had ever done such a thing to her.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let’s go back to the hotel. I’ve got sand in places it doesn’t need to be thanks to you,” Shego stated, trying to get back to normal. It was actually a little scary to realize what some plainspoken words and a simple, uncharismatic gesture from Kim could do to her, so she would rather go back to how they usually were.

Kim smiled and allowed her mistress to lead her away from the caves. They returned to the hotel and prepared for bed; they had to take showers again thanks to the spill on the beach. Kim showered first because Shego thought that the girl needed more time to wind down and go to sleep than she did. She did not want to be in bed with Kim bouncing around next to her, keeping her awake. She would rather the energetic hero do her bouncing while she was in the shower.

The redhead did sit up in bed while Shego was in the shower, but she was not moving around a lot. She wondered if they would do something, aside for going to sleep anyway. She wondered if it was all right for her to initiate things. She doubted that her owner would like her to start things. She was at Shego’s mercy. She was at Shego’s whim. Hmm, that was pretty much her history with Shego, she realized.

“Please,” Kim silently prayed that they do just what she desired. She really did not think that she was asking for much. She wanted something that she knew her mistress wanted too. All her master had to do was go through with it. That was all.

Shego exited the bathroom and turned out all of the lights in the luxurious suite. She had been trying her best to not think about going to bed because she could guess that her pet was expecting things to happen. She was not sure what she should or would do once in bed, though.

She wanted to do it, did she not? Shego continued to ask herself that question. She was sort of attracted to Kim and she did love the little redhead; she just was not sure if it was that type of love. She was not totally sure what type of love it was at all. Screw it, her mind told her. It was better to try and fail rather than to ponder things forever and always.

The pale officer climbed into bed and turned to Kim, who was still wondering what she should do and what might happen. It seemed like it was zero hour. What was going to happen? Would they finally make love? The redhead sincerely hoped so.

Shego grabbed her pet by the shoulders and forced Kim to lie down, knowing that the hero probably failed to notice that she was being irksome. Kim hit the pillow and then turned to face her mistress. In her head, Kim was begging that the elder woman would kiss her and her wish was granted; Shego leaned over and deeply kissed the redhead. Maybe her other wishes would come true, Kim considered.

Next time: the moment of truth. What will they do?

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33 - 34 - 35 - 36 - 37 - 38 - 39 - 40 - 41 - 42 - 43 - 44 - 45 - 46 - 47 - 48 - 49 - 50 - 51 - 52 - 53 - 54 - 55 - 56 - 57 - 58 - 59 - 60