The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Thirty-nine

Tug of war


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TITLE: Tug of war

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4238

Shego caressing her pet.

I’m actually starting to feel like my life is like it should be. I’ve had something like this before. It wasn’t that life was as it should be, but it was as I wanted it because I was doing my own thing and I didn’t have to listen to anyone else’s shit. That was when I moved out of my parents’ house and became a cat-burglar. This feeling is different from that because that gave me excitement while this gives me peace. Sometimes, it gives me a lot more than that, but peace is almost always present and that’s a great feeling.

Shego entered the apartment and was stunned when she was not tackled by her energetic pet the second that she came in. She figured that her girl was probably knocked out on the sofa, but she actually wanted her hug; it always made her feel like she was really home. She decided that she would wake her impish monster up just for her embrace. She entered the living room and discovered that her elf was very much awake. Kim was sitting on the floor with several piles of pictures in front of her.

“Hey,” Shego greeted her pet.

“Hey,” the redhead replied absently.

The pale woman knew that it would require her monster a moment to realize that she was home since the girl seemed rather deep into whatever it was that she was doing, aside for making a mess. It did take a couple of second before the light bulb went off in Kim’s head. What she was doing was now secondary.

The girl shouted her mistress’ name with her usual enthusiasm. She jumped up from the floor and flung herself onto Shego. She planted an overzealous kiss on the elder female’s mouth. The pale officer would have sighed if the embrace was not so intense. She silently admitted that she loved coming home to hugs, heated kisses, and sometimes even more than that.

“What’s this mess?” Shego inquired as she looked down at all of the photographs on the floor while Kim was still attempting to kiss her.

“Portfolio work,” Kim answered while still trying to work on kissing rather than focusing on the mess on the floor. The portfolio work had been important when she was alone, but kissing was the most important thing now.

“What?” the green-skinned woman asked. She had never seen her pet work on that stuff on the living room floor. It was usually something that Kim would do in the loft, either to avoid making a big mess or just because it was not pet-related and therefore the girl thought it should be done out of sight. Shego was not sure what the reason was.



“Screw the portfolio,” the petite hero said.

The raven-haired officer laughed a bit. “Sounds like you want me to screw something aside for the portfolio,” she remarked with a teasing smile.

“Well, that would be nice,” the redhead purred, hoping the noise would assist in her getting her way since she knew that her mistress thought that it was cute.

“You are too much. Can I get comfortable in the house for a second?” Shego continued to taunt her needy little brat.

The moss-hued woman actually enjoyed coming home to what she had now, even though she constantly teased Kim. She liked coming home to not only a cute, loving, warm pet, but someone that wanted her so badly. It was fun, but there was something else to it. Something fulfilling and calming and she hoped to whatever external power there was in the world that it would never go away.

“Are you comfortable yet?” Kim asked curiously with her typical impish grin.

“I’m going to go take a shower,” Shego decided.

“Just going to need another one later,” the olive-eyed scholar hummed.

“Or so you hope,” the older woman teased.

Kim pouted; she did not like it when her mistress played with her like that sometimes. She knew that she would not be denied, unless something serious was going on, but there was always that slim chance that she would not get her way. She disliked thinking about that slim chance and her master did enjoy taunting her with it.

The redhead returned to her pictures for a little while since her owner was taking a shower. She remained alert to hear when the shower stopped, but she focused on the task that she was doing before her master came in. She gave herself a few moments after she heard the water in the bathroom stop to place the last few pictures where she thought that they needed to be. She then stood up and went into pure stealth mode, making sure not to make a sound or be seen as she watched Shego exit the bathroom. She quickly followed Shego into the bedroom while continuing to be as quiet as possible. She caught the door before it clicked shut to get into the room unnoticed.

Shego turned around when she did not hear the door click, but she saw that it was indeed shut; Kim had dived directly behind her master to avoid being seen. Shego thought that she heard a noise, which was the soft thud of Kim hitting the carpet, but she did not see anything. The pale officer turned around again to see if something had fallen to cause the noise, but everything appeared to be secure; Kim was hiding behind the bed by that time.

Shego went to her dresser, looking to fish out some undergarments and some house clothes. She flung everything on the bed and then thought that she heard a noise again. She turned to scan the room, now on guard because too many unsettling things had happened in too short a time span. It was hard to get into a fighting stance wearing nothing but a jade-colored towel, but she managed it. She searched the room with her eyes, but nothing caught her attention and then her gaze fell to her empty bed. Her clothing was gone.

“What the hell?” Shego wondered and now she was starting to figure out what was going on.

The pale woman moved to the side just in time to foil the plot against her. Kim fell to the floor, having been trying to relieve her mistress of that irksome towel; it was irksome in her opinion anyway. She looked up at Shego with a sheepish grin while her master looked less than amused by her antics.

“And just what do you think you’re doing?” Shego inquired while looking down at her pet with a severe expression. It seemed that she did not find anything going on as humorous, especially since her clothing had been stolen, but her munchkin did not care about such details.

“Um…would you believe counting the fibers in the carpet?” the slim adventurer replied.

“Try again.”

“Um…making sure the floor is leveled?”

“Last one.”

“All right, fine. I was trying to steal your towel,” Kim admitted with a shrug and a nonchalant expression on her face. She was not ashamed of her actions. She was only bothered by the fact that she had failed to do what she wanted.

“And why would you want to do that?” the emerald-eyed female asked as if she did not know.

“Because you’d look a lot better without it, doy,” Kim answered while sitting up.

“Oh, really? If you want it, then come get it,” the green-skinned woman dared her pet with a taunting smirk.

Kim returned the smirked with one of her own; she looked like a cunning cat. She then surprisingly launched herself at the older woman. Shego was stunned by the girl’s speed and she almost did not evade her monster in time. Kim ended up grabbing air and almost falling off balance again.

“Too slow,” Shego said and she gently nudged her pet while she was unstable.

Kim let out a long whine as she fell forward onto the floor. Shego laughed, but her munchkin was not deterred. The redhead was up like a shot and going at her master for that bothersome piece of cloth. Shego was ready that time and she was not going to underestimate her brat either.

Kim went after the older woman like a fanatic trying to get hold of that damned towel, but she was graceful and under control with her attack. Shego was not looking to give it up, though. The petite hero pressed on and continued to attack. The pale woman merely dodged; she could not really counterattack because she was holding her towel up. They had a workout over the towel and eventually they both had to stop moving around just to catch their breath.

“Just…gimme…the damn…towel… You know…you know…you want to,” the slender adventurer panted as she leaned on her knees, hoping that she would recover before her mistress because she was going to get that towel if it was the last thing that she did.

“Make…me,” the pale officer replied, also wheezing. She should have known that her monster would have the stamina that she did, but she had not expected Kim to be able to go on for so long.

Kim laughed a bit; whoa, she was having such fun. She did not expect a workout when she entered the room, but she was having a good time with it. It was like sparring, but without the hitting. It was testing her agility and reaction time, which was a good thing.

But, she really wanted to get Shego out of that towel more than anything else. It was ridiculous to her rational mind, but she wanted Shego badly, as she always did. The woman had to be a siren, bewitching her with some call that she failed to notice and did not care to notice anyway. Maybe her body wanted to make up for lost time, she considered, and that was why she wanted the older female so much. Whatever the reason, she was going to get that towel and it had nothing to do with her natural Kim-ness wanting to win the competition.

“Give me that towel!” Kim shouted as she charged Shego.

The pale woman seriously yelped and tried to get out of her pet’s way; she had not thought that the redhead would recuperate before her. Kim managed to grab hold of a piece of the towel. She grinned in triumph and was about to yank the troublesome covering away, only to be clobbered by her mistress. The younger woman fell back to the floor after Shego hit her with a palm strike.

“Sorry, Pumpkin, but I hate losing,” Shego informed her pet. She could not believe that she had just hit the kid, but it was a necessary evil as far as she was concerned. How would it look for the mistress to lose to the pet, after all?

“Me too,” Kim replied as she picked herself up in a flash. The hit had not hurt at all. The only reason she fell back was because she was shocked that she had been struck.

“What the?” Shego muttered as she dodged another grab for her towel and had to duck a kick right afterwards. It seemed that she had accidentally changed the game for her pet and now they were fighting both for the towel and just for the sake of fighting.

“Give it!” Kim demanded.

“Oh, you are asking for it.”

“Yeah, I am,” the redhead pointed out.

The moss-hued officer blocked a kick aimed at her midsection. She countered with a punch that Kim ducked. The redhead was not put off by the assault attempt and kept on coming with an onslaught of punches. She pressed on because she felt that she had the advantage because her mistress did have to hold up the towel while also trying to stave off any attacks.

Shego backed the younger fighter up with a sweep kick because she could tell that her mini-monster was trying to press her until she made a mistake. She needed room to do anything, but she did not even get that. Kim went right back at the raven-haired woman as soon as her feet were planted firmly on the carpet. Shego was not about to be out done by a brat and kept her defense up.

The pair went at it for a while before Kim finally managed to grab the towel again. She yanked at it, only to find out that Shego was holding onto the cloth as tightly as possible. How unfair! What was with her mistress anyway? Why would she not just give up so that they could get caught up in the throngs of passion…not that the grabbling and sparring was not fun? It just was not as intimate.

“You’re going to lose eventually. I’m not giving up,” Kim informed her master.

“You’re not getting this towel. I’ll knock you out before letting a brat like you beat me,” Shego declared. She actually meant that. It was not that she was looking to really hurt her pet, but she hated to lose.

“Oh, yeah?” the redhead said skeptically.

“Yeah!” the older woman proclaimed confidently. How dare that little brat even think that she could beat her, Shego’s mind demanded to know.

Kim was not about to back down from that challenge. She went at Shego again, but found out that her mistress’ defense was solid, even though she knew that the elder female had to be tired by now. The pale woman was really having some trouble keeping up her pet. It did not help matters that she had just come from a full day of work while she was willing to bet that Kim had done nothing all day; she would have lost that bet.

The olive-eyed hero had been out all day doing what she usually did, school and a mission. She just had a lot of energy and she wanted something badly, which helped drive her. There was also the fact that she was being challenged and some bits of her brain always propelled her forward when that happened, no matter the situation.

At the rate that they were going, they both realized that they might be rumbling for hours. Although Kim was willing to bet that her owner dropped before that happened because she did not think that Shego had more energy than she did. They marched on, blocking, dodging, ducking, kicking, punching, and grabbing when they could. At first, Shego thought about how she had not had such a good work out since Betty became a desk jockey, but she could not even focus on that for long because she had to focus all of her energy on her imp.

Kim eventually slipped behind Shego, thinking that she had the older woman now. She reached out only to be swiftly kicked across the face. She groaned and fell back. All right, she had let her guard down there, Kim conceded. But, never again, she decided. She went back at Shego as if she had not been hit at all. They went back to their little dance and pressed on for as long as they could. Ultimately, they just tired out and neither won as they collapsed to the floor.

“Thanks to you I’m all sweaty now,” Shego complained, laying on her stomach to add to her annoyance. She hated resting on her stomach for some reason that was lost to her.

“You could’ve just given me the towel and we’d be sweaty, but wouldn’t care,” Kim countered. She would not have cared right now if her objective had been to just spar, but that had not been her goal. She was marking it down in her mental notebook that sparring with her master was fun and she needed to do it again sometime soon.

“I told you, I wasn’t going to lose to brat like you. You shouldn’t have made a game out of it,” the pale woman retorted. She had only wanted to tease her pet, but then the girl had to go and act all tough. There was no way that she was going to let her own brat show her up, but she silently considered that Kim might have done just that for the simple fact that Shego had not won. Not winning equaled losing to the green-skinned female.

“Well, you shouldn’t have actually hit me,” the redhead riposted. Usually, not winning equaled losing to her too, but that was not the case there. Now, she had lost because she had not gotten the towel, but the draw in their battling did not figure out as a loss to her. It was too much fun to be a loss.

“You should learn to listen.”

The trim scientist only puffed out her cheeks because she had nothing relevant to argue with now. She then reached up and rubbed her cheek as she realized that it was sore. Shego noticed the action since her head was trained in Kim’s direction. She did not have the strength to turn her head and even if she did, she would not have done it because she liked looking at her munchkin.

“Did I hit you too hard?” Shego asked, obviously concerned for her pet now.

“That was great!” Kim declared with an extremely happy and wide grin. Her cheek apparently did not hurt that much.

“You’re so weird,” the pale woman laughed.

“It’s just been a while since I was this tired from sparring and it’s a great feeling. You’re really great, you know,” the redhead commented.

“You’re not so bad yourself,” she replied with a small, soft smile. She meant that. Her elf was a great fighter and she might have to spar with the girl more often. It would more than likely be beneficial for the both of them considering her job and Kim’s hobbies.

There was a moment of silence before Kim spoke again. “Shego.”


“I’m really happy you found me that day,” Kim said with a content sigh. It might have actually been the best thing to happen to her, she considered.

“Me too,” Shego concurred. It might have been the best thing to happen to her, she thought.

“I’d be much happier if I had energy left to grab that damn towel,” the younger woman remarked with an amused smile.

“I already told you, I’m not losing to brat like you.”

The night came to a close and the master and her pet prepared for bed. They both had to take showers after their little impromptu sparring match and then they had had an average evening. Shego did ask about the pile of photos that were still on the living room floor. Kim explained that she was planning to do a children’s book on cold-blood critters using her photos. Leave it to her pet to just think of such a venture out of the blue, Shego thought. She did not mind, but she did make Kim clean the mess up before the night was out, which led to Kim throwing a tantrum, but she did get all of her photos up.

Shego settled into her spot on the bed and Kim slid in right next to her. The pale woman closed her eyes, fully intent on going to sleep at that very moment. But, it did not seem like that was going to happen. Her pet moved to underneath the covers and Shego began to feel hands roaming her body.

“What the hell are you doing?” Shego barked while lifting up the blanket to yell at her monster face to face.

“Obviously you,” Kim answered with a little half-smirk on her face.

“Weren’t you tired two second ago?” the raven-haired female said. She could have sworn that it was agreed that they both were tired and they were just going to go to sleep.

“I got my second wind,” the redhead answered with an impish look on her face.

“You’re unbelievable,” Shego commented and she meant that.

Kim smiled a bit; she could not help herself. She crawled back up to her master and planted a soft kiss on the older woman’s mouth. The super-powered woman did not fight it that time around. She could not believe that her mini-monster was serious, though. Did the kid just never run out of energy? She supposed that would be the drawback to being with a younger partner; the younger one seemed to need sex all of the time. Not that she usually would see that as a bad thing, but she was tired right now.

“Where the hell do you get all of this energy from?” the moss-hued officer inquired.

“Are you kidding? I wouldn’t pass this up if I was dying, so tired is nothing,” Kim declared. “Why, are you tired?” she asked.

“Even if I was, I’m not losing to a brat like you,” Shego replied with a daring smirk and challenging expression in her eyes.

“We’ll see about that!”

Sex should not be so fun, Shego thought. Yeah, it should feel phenomenal whenever possible, but it seemed to her that she should not be joking or laughing before the event. Hell, sometimes, she laughed during the occurrence and that just seemed wrong, especially when it was always so incredible when she was with Kim.

Kim began moving down her master’s body and settled at her neck, kissing the pale skin. Shego tilted her head to give the girl better access. Kim worked on the flesh, kissing, licking, sucking, and then she nipped her mistress rather hard.

“Hey, did you just bite me?” the older woman demanded to know while pulling her munchkin away from her skin.

“Only a little,” Kim admitted.

“That’s it, I’m taking control of this operation,” Shego declared and moved to reverse their positions.

“No!” Kim tried to object to that, but she was swiftly pinned underneath the older woman. She knew that Shego was just looking for an excuse to take over because she had bitten the pale woman countless times before.

“Yes,” Shego whispered with her mouth very close to Kim’s lips. The scientist was pouting because of the switch with her on the bottom. “Your way is fun and all, but let’s do things my way this time around.”

“Your way?” Kim echoed. She was a little unaware that her master had a “way” when it came to being intimate.

“Yeah, dirty,” Shego said with a suggestive smirk.

Kim did not protest, not because she could not, but because she was curious to see what her mistress had in mind. She quietly realized how far her mistress had come. It was not too long ago when Shego could not even come to grips with wanting to make love to her and now she was suggesting how they should do it. She had a feeling that it was going to be a wild ride and she was right.

By the end of the action, they were worse off than they had been after sparring earlier. The pillows were all off of the bed and the spread was with those. The sheets were coming up off of the mattress and the sun was coming up. Shego was lying contently on her back and Kim was draped over her stomach and torso. They were nude, sweaty, and panting, not to mention completely satisfied.

“That was crazy,” the slender hero commented. It was about all she could say; she did not know how else to describe it. She supposed that “crazy” and “great” would cover the whole thing.

“Yeah, it was. We’ve got to get up in an hour,” Shego noted as she glanced over at the clock. For once, she was hoping for a very slow day at work.

“I don’t think I can even move,” the redhead stated. She was not even sure how she had gotten into her current position. She hoped that she did not get called for any missions sometime soon because she doubted that she would be able to make it. She would be surprised if she could even walk.

“Me neither. Tell you what, we’ll this one up to chance.”

“Leave what up to chance?”

“Getting up, showering, and going about our usual day or lying here for a little while, catching our breath, and going again and again,” the pale woman explained.

“Oh, I’d like that second!” Kim requested enthusiastically.

“We’re leaving it up to chance,” Shego reminded the eager scholar.

“Oh, yeah. I forgot already. So, are you going to flip a coin?”

“No. If you make a noise, we’ll go and if you don’t, we’ll stay.”

“Make a noise?” Kim echoed in a confused tone and then Shego suddenly slapped her hard on her bare ass. She almost yelped, but she swallowed it down into her throat. “Did you have to spank me?” the redhead whined.

“Well, I thought it was fun. I might have to do it more often. But, now it seems that we have the rest of the day to make the most of our current state,” Shego replied with a smirk. Her pet grinned.

Next time: Betty has some problems to deal with…well, what does that have to do with Kim and Shego?

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