The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Thirty

Ring the bell


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TITLE: Ring the bell

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise. I also don’t own rubix cubes.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

NOTE: I am so sorry this took so long. I wanted it to be perfect, but I'm going to have to settle for mediocre at the moment. I hope you guys still enjoy it and I'll try never to take this long on another chapter. Warning: this is another chapter where the fic puts in some work for that rating.

On a plus note, I got this link to a banging picture on my profile by Blaze. It is a hot pic of Kim on a leash. Very much worth checking out, so you should do that.

Words: 5196

Shego caressing her pet.

Well, I dodged a bullet it seems with the “Josh incident.” I don’t know if I’m lucky or if my mistress is just acting like everything is all right and waiting to get me back later. I know it’s a stupid thing to worry about because she seemed to make it clear that she wasn’t going to hold it against me, but sometimes, she does seem to get a kick out of tormenting me. So, I wonder if I should be nervous. Nah, everything is probably fine.

Shego was sitting on her terrace; yes, she had a balcony. It was great for sunbathing in the summer, but at the moment, she was just looking to lounge out there on a reclining chair; if she caught some rays, it would be a plus, though. She was thinking about Kim, who was out on a mission at the time.

She was thinking about how she might lose part of her precious pet. She was thinking about how Kim might go out and get a lover sooner or later. At first, it did not bother her too much, well, relatively speaking anyway. The more that she thought about it, the more it grated on her nerves and bothered her, though. What if her pet went out and found another domineering lover, like that bitch scientist girl that they had run into back in Middleton? The lover might start filling Kim’s head with all sorts of nonsense, like trying to talk her out of being a pet. If that was the case, then Shego would have to slay the lover like an outraged spouse.

Really, she did not like the idea of her pet having a lover at all. She tried to lie to herself and say she did not want that because she was being selfish and spiteful; if she could not have an outside lover, then Kim could not have one either. But, she knew that was a stone-cold lie. It was not about what she could not have.

“What to do? What to do?” Shego asked herself.

The pale woman actually knew what she had to do, what she wanted to do. It was just that she knew better than to force it. She had already tried forcing it and that only left her disturbed; it also left her munchkin messed up on several different levels. She did not want that to happen again, so she could not force the issue. She needed it to just flow with the moment, but the moment had not presented itself. She always over-thought what was going on if the moment seemed like it was coming.

“What if I’m no good?” she wondered.

The emerald-eyed woman was typically confident in herself in any endeavor that she decided to undertake; that was just the way that she was. Even if she did not think that she could do something, she tried her best anyway and usually came out on top. She was acting so unlike herself when it came to Kim. Every time it came to Kim, she seemed to act like a different person. She knew that she acted different, but she did not think that she behaved so differently that her confidence would waver. It was just that no one had ever affected Shego in the “odd” way that Kim had; she considered it odd because she never felt the way that she did before.

The raven-haired woman’s thoughts were interrupted. She had not heard the front door open, but Kim did wander out onto the terrace. She collapsed right on top of her mistress and snuggled up into that warm body. Shego was puzzled for a moment because she had not expected her pet to come in.

“Ah, are you fresh from outside?” Shego demanded to know, noticing the dirt smudges on her brat’s arms.

“Uh-huh,” the redhead answered, nodding into her master’s comfortable chest.

“Damn it, go shower! You’re getting me all dirty!” the older woman barked.

Kim whined as her owner threw her off of her. The trim hero grumbled something about having a selfish crank for a mistress and wandered back into the house to go take a shower. She just wanted to go to sleep, but there was always something, she silently complained. Damn tiring missions, she added on in her mind. But, it was a good excuse to relax on her mistress.

Shego did not mind her pet laying on her while they were on the balcony. In the past, she had some reservations about such actions. She did not want her neighbors to see her and start gossiping, not because she cared about what they thought, but she did not want them to say anything while she was in a relationship with Drakken. It did not matter what they saw now. She did not care if they gossiped now, as long as they did not say anything to her face. If they tried to get fly with her to her face, she was going to have to slap some people around then.

The green-skinned officer wondered if there was ever a time before Kim where someone liked to cuddle up to her so much. No one came to mind and she had never felt the urge to snuggle up to someone as much as she did with Kim. In fact, she was happy when the redhead came back and rested right on top of her.

The slim scientist made herself comfortable on top of her mistress and then she seemed to just recall something. She leaned back up and greeted her master with a soft kiss on the mouth. She then settled back onto the warm body underneath her. She sighed as if all was right in the world as she rubbed her cheek into Shego’s breasts. One of her hands was positioned to where it was pushing Shego’s breast up to provide her lazy pet with even more cushion.

“Watch the mouth,” the raven-haired law enforcer commanded in a halfhearted tone.

Kim nodded to show that she would comply. She was too tired to consider doing anything dirty. She just wanted a comfortable place to sleep and she could not think of any place that could even compare to where she was now. She would do bad things once she recharged her batteries. She was asleep in no time.

Shego stared down at the redhead snoozing on her. She brought her hands up to rest on Kim’s back. She rubbed her pet’s back, eventually pushing up the rose-colored camisole that Kim was wearing. She continued on caressing the sleeping girl and noted, as she touched the bare skin, her pet could use a good moisturizing. She had to keep on the kid about putting on lotion if she forgot to do it for her monster. She continued on massaging Kim, even though her skin was dry; it still felt good to touch.

The older woman was starting to understand why Kim molested her in her sleep. She just wanted to keep touching the girl now that she started and she found herself curious as her hands started wandering to Kim’s side. She caressed her brat’s ribs and Kim moaned in her sleep.

“You’re enjoying this, huh? Good to know,” Shego commented.

The officer continued to caress her pet’s ribs and then she went higher, feeling the bottom of Kim’s bare breasts for the first time. Kim tried to move into the touch even in her sleep. At first, Shego thought that she had woken her girl up, but she could see that Kim was still out like a light. She was certain that the slim hero was still asleep; Kim usually slept pretty hard when she was resting against her master. Shego continued her exploration of the slender body on top of her. She was soon holding a handful of soft flesh and it was nowhere near as strange as she thought it would be.

Shego removed her hand as Kim shifted and turned. The emerald-eyed woman decided to leave her pet alone to avoid waking the exhausted kid. She did think about how touching Kim was not as weird as she thought it would be. It was not really weird at all.

Kim woke up and found herself on the sofa. She yawned and sat up. She glanced at the clock on the wall and saw that it was not time for dinner yet, so she went in search for some junk food. She looked around as she went to the kitchen and guessed that she was alone. She grabbed some potato chips and a can of soda. She parked herself in front of the television and started doing a puzzle instead of watching television. She remained there, eating her junk food, drinking her soda, and nearly finished the huge puzzle by the time she noticed her mistress was coming back into their home. She dashed to hug her master at the door as usual.

“Damn it, Pumpkin!” Shego grunted as the redhead hit her with a good amount of force, as usual.

“I missed you,” Kim said with a small smile.

“I’ll bet,” Shego said sarcastically. She did not think that it was humanly possible to miss someone who was gone while Kim was sleeping, but still, she appreciated the words.

“What’s this?” the younger female asked curiously when she noticed four bags in her master’s hands.

“Dinner. Nothing for you.”

Kim pouted. “Well, that’s no fun. Unless it’s pasta,” she mused aloud.

“You know what, take this and get away from me,” Shego commanded and she handed her pet a Rubix cube.

The petite scholar’s mouth dropped open; oh, she loved a puzzle cube. Shego had a feeling that the cube would keep her monster busy for a little while and she was right. Kim wandered to the sofa and focused her attention on the Rubix cube as if the device had hypnotized her. She had solved the Rubix cube several times before when she was little; it used to drive Ron nuts because he always swore that they were impossible to solve. Ron thought that there was a trick to completing the puzzle cube and he never cared about what the trick was after spending a couple of minutes with the troublesome toy.

Shego prepared dinner while her pet was occupied with that puzzle cube. After she had everything set, she went to the living room and just watched Kim for a moment. The slender adventurer was working the cube with a speed that surprised her mistress. Sometimes, Shego just forgot how much her pet loved a good puzzle.

“Pumpkin,” the pale woman called.

“Hmm?” Kim replied, still focusing more on her new toy than anything else.



“Now!” Shego barked and that made Kim rise to her feet.

The redhead marched to the dinner table and was caught by surprise. Spaghetti was waiting for her, but that was not all. There was wine and a lit candle too. Kim craned an eyebrow while Shego took her by the shoulders and led her to the table. She sat Kim down and then sat down across from the stunned pet. Kim looked around, as if she expected something to happen.

“Are you going to kill me after this?” the younger woman asked curiously and she seemed rather serious with the question.

“Why would you ask that?” Shego countered. Really, just what the hell kind of thing was that to ask while sitting at a lovely table with her favorite meal in front of her?

“This looks like a last meal,” the adventurer replied. They almost never had spaghetti for dinner and she was never allowed to have wine. Something was up. Maybe she should run while she had the chance, she considered. She could probably make it to the window and get away.

“No, it’s just dinner. So, eat,” the pale woman ordered.

“Are you sure?” Kim asked. Maybe the meal was poisoned. Oh, that would be a dirty trick.

“Yes, I’m sure. Now, eat before it gets cold.”

Kim did not argue and she started eating her dinner. Spaghetti was just about the best of all foods and the way that her mistress made it was fantastic. The meal was pure heaven; if it was poisoned, then she would die happy at least. Kim looked like the meal was paradise and Shego was pleased to see that. She had wanted to put a satisfied look on the redhead’s face and she had done just that. But, the night was not over for her when it came to putting a satisfied look on the hero’s face.

The master and pet lay down for bed at their usual time that night. It had been a good night as far as they were concerned. Shego had read a book while Kim had continued to play with her puzzle cube; she had already gotten a side. They then calmly retired for bed and Kim curled up to the moss-hued woman as she typically did. After that, things stopped being so normal, for them anyway.

Shego had things planned out and she needed to get to her plans. She leaned down and started kissing Kim. The redhead, not one to turn down any kind of attention from her mistress, accepted the kiss and eagerly returned it. She was a bit surprised by the move because Shego generally did not start kisses while they were in bed because at first it had led to Kim always grabbing for things when she was not supposed to, and now since Kim was allowed to grab whatever she wanted, it led to requiring a shower about an hour later. A lot of the time, her master did not want to get involved in such drawn out activities when they were supposed to be sleeping because they both needed their sleep.

But, since the green-skinned woman had gotten the ball rolling, Kim figured that she might as well take advantage. Eager hands started reaching for their favorite things, but they never made it to their intended destinations. Shego pushed Kim’s hands away from her body. The slim scholar whined and tried again, only for the same results. The older female went to so far as to hold her mini-monster’s hands above her head to get her to stop trying to grab anything.

“Shego!” Kim wailed, breaking the kiss because of her frustration. She wanted to touch her hot-blooded mistress and she wanted to touch her now. It was rather impossible to do that if her hands were being held captive.

“Just lie there, Princess. That’s all you have to do tonight,” Shego informed her hyper elf in a low voice.

“What?” the redhead asked in a bewildered tone. She looked like she did not understand, so the older woman decided to let her actions explain just what was going on.

Shego began nipping at Kim’s earlobe; something that Kim often did to her. She continued to hold onto the girl’s hands to keep her from moving until she was certain that Kim was going to just lie there. The scientist was about to ask a question, but she could not remember what it was as the raven-haired woman started playing with her earlobe using her tongue. Okay, okay, okay, Kim said in her mind, but she could not even figure out what she was trying to say in her own head and thinking was not getting any easier as kisses floated across her cheek and one hand lifted her camisole away while also lightly caressing her torso.

The eager adventurer calmed down a bit and her hands were released. She was actually too scared to move as Shego started lapping at her neck, so her hands drifted to her sides. What if she did something that made the older woman stop? No, she could not risk that now, especially not when her top had just hit the floor. Oh, no, she was not about to do anything that might muck things up now.

Shego was determined to, um, well, get over the hump, so to speak. She would free herself from her thoughts and do just what needed to be done. She was going to go for it and she was going to go deep, middle of the ocean deep. But, she was also going to pace herself. Freedom needed to be savored, even if most wanted it in a hurry. She was going to be patient for one time in her life.

She remained at Kim’s neck for a while, enjoying that space and sucking on the skin as if it was a lollipop. It was sweet and tasty, like candy and she take great pleasure in being able to experience it. She did not move until she was certain that there would be a dark scarlet mark on Kim’s throat for the world to know that someone cared for her enough to take time with her. The mark to let the world know that the little hero was taken, or she would be soon enough anyway. No one else would have any rights to Kim when the night was done, or so was the plan.

With Kim’s top on the floor and not standing in the way, Shego began to explore the flesh that she had exposed. At first, she scanned the new world with her eyes. It was a breathtaking sight and she had not expected that. Her jovial monster was a beautiful little creature and all hers. She had to express her appreciation then. She lightly wandered the new field of skin that was open to her now that she was free with lukewarm fingertips while keeping her lips at Kim’s deserving neck. She was going to get to know what was beyond her small world now that the fence was open.

Kim was trying her best to not arch into the gentle, searching touch or moan from the attention that she was being given. It took a lot of self-control to remain calm, but she was maintaining her composure. The self-control was what Shego seemed hell bent on making Kim lose. The still hero was starting to break out into a light sweat because of the effort that she was putting into not acting out. She took her bottom lip in between her teeth to keep herself from calling out as the pleasure washed over her like tiny waves on an empty beach.

The emerald-eyed female could guess why her girl was laying as stiff as a wooden board and biting her lip. She knew that she had made her brat frightened to react at all thanks to the last few times that she had tried to love the redhead physically; well, no more of that. She was going to show Kim that it was all right for her to react by making her react. They were going to be free of the past by the end of the night. They were going to be free do what needed to be done and to do what they wanted to do.

The elder woman moved on from the succulent neck of Kim and kissed her way lower down the expanse of her liberty. Once she made it to the girl’s breasts, she almost hesitated. She did stare for a second to appreciate the view of the uncharted mountain range before her. They were not large mounds, but that did not matter. Every inch needed to be explored thoroughly and intensely like everything else on the unknown body beneath her. From the milky base to the cherry topped peaks would be touched and tasted to find out everything there was about them.

Kim glanced down, thinking that it was over because of the brief pause and then she got the shock of her life. One very warm hand massaged one of the hills of the new discovery and a busier mouth latched onto the other. The hand gently kneaded the treasure in its grip while the mouth made it seem as if it was trying to remove poison because of the forceful, mind-numbing pressure. Careful fingers teased a soft pink jewel while a smoldering tongue played with a supple cherry. It felt so good that in order to prevent herself from screaming, Kim bite harder into her lip, drawing blood. Her hands fisted in the sheets on the bed and water began to gather in her olive eyes.

Shego glanced up without moving her mouth or hand from where they were to see the face that Kim was making; it looked like the redhead was going through sweet torture. The slender hero moved one fist to her forehead and just writhed ever so slightly from the delightful affection being paid to her. Shego was not satisfied, though. She wanted Kim to know that the experience was to free her, so she wanted the younger woman to act out. She wanted Kim to scream like the little hero made her do every time their roles were reversed. She wanted the girl to buck if the urge overcame her, or to hold her in place if she wanted her mistress to stay somewhere; she wanted Kim to know that it was all right for her to do whatever came to mind. The bonds that held them back were to be broken that night.

The pale woman increased the pressure of her mouth while noting that Kim tasted beyond delicious. There was a subtle, yet creamy flavor to her skin. Shego decided to find out if the other mound tasted the same way. She licked her way from one mountain of the field open to her and made her to the other. It too was scrumptious and she investigated it with just as much attention and care as she had its twin. Freedom was fantastic and mouth-watering, she noted. Her girl had opened her eyes and tantalized her taste buds; her girl was delectable.

Whenever her mouth was at one mount, her hand was at the other to make sure that it did not feel neglected. Her hand surveyed its land with just as much zeal as her mouth. Every inch of flesh was curiously touched and gently probed to find out everything about it. She needed to know everything about the new area given to her.

Kim now had her eyes closed tightly because she was having trouble maintaining her calm. She did not notice that her lip had a gash in it thanks to her teeth; everything felt too excellently mind-blowing for her to note something minor like a cut in her lip, even if it was bleeding enough for her to taste the crimson liquid in her mouth. The taste just was not registering to her brain at the moment, so she did not even know that she was bleeding. All she was aware of was ecstasy that was vaster than any ocean and it was being brought to her by the love of her life, which only added to it.

The moss-hued officer continued to knead and suckle, switching creamy hills every few minutes because she could. Since she could do something, she did and that was what freedom was all about. She was also trying to do something that Kim had done to her a few times; she was attempting to make the slender hero climax through lavishing attention to her breasts. She worked for a while and knew that she had accomplished her goal the moment that Kim’s self-control snapped and she cried out, calling to the ceiling a single, drawn out “ah.” Kim was not loud, but she had made some noise enough for it to be classified as a scream.

“Shego,” the redhead whimpered as she came down from a high peak. Some of the water in her eyes had made its escape and was now staining the pillow, but it was being replaced by new water welling up in her eyes.

“Just lie there, Kimmie,” Shego said again. For them to be free, she needed to do her part and Kim needed to do her part. She needed to do the work and the petite brat needed to enjoy it. They needed to work their way through the new territory in a different way.

Kim whimpered some more as the green-skinned woman started kissing and licking her way further down the province that she desired to know now that she was releasing her own chains. She wanted to map that land in her mind to know it as well as she knew anything else in her head. It was an important region that deserved a detailed charting to find all of its precious, sensitive spots and she plotted a long course to taste as much of that county as she could.

While her mouth worked, her hands also remained busy, making records of their own. They continued to keep those creamy hills company while also gently caressing Kim’s sides and massaging her ribs every few seconds. Her palms moved up and down in a soothing motion like tender pendulums across the hero’s body. Her hands planned to know the torso underneath them very well, to know every special place on the peachy terrain.

The redhead started panting, anticipating what was going to come next as her mistress went lower. Shego stopped at Kim’s bellybutton and kissed the small indent. She swirled her tongue around the small impression while her hands crept down from Kim’s torso like ants on a mission. She made it to the waistband of her pet’s pajama pants and eased those down the girl’s slender legs. She pulled Kim’s underwear down with the pants, not wanting to bother with having to remove them later on.

Shego’s hands occupied themselves by caressing Kim’s slim thighs now that they were there and then she was surprised to find that Kim had a plump little ass. Freedom was the right to explore and her hands did just that. She kissed around the redhead’s waist while kneading the fresh world of the girl’s rear with those very warm hands of hers. Her hot fingertips caressed the flesh softly, as if she was trying to be careful with her precious pet, the key to her liberty.

It felt so exceptionally good that all Kim could do was whimper as she wiggled around, trying to feel more of the older female’s sizzling and affectionate touch. She wanted as much of Shego as possible. She had waited so long for the moment that she was experiencing and although she wanted it to last for as long as it could, she wanted to get on with it too.

Shego just allowed her munchkin squirm all she wanted. She moved along to the inside of Kim’s thighs. She scanned the area with her eyes for no more than a second and then decided that she needed her other senses to really appreciate and pilot through the new space. She licked, kissed, and sucked on the flesh until there was another dark red mark on Kim’s body, planting her flag in new world of the her monster’s inner thigh. The mark was as close to stating “Shego was here” as they would ever get.

“Shego!” Kim whined, needing her mistress to touch the center of her being now.

The pale woman smirked; she would have liked to torment her girl for a little while longer, but she had already left Kim waiting so long. It was time to pass through the gate and leave behind all of her apprehension. After she made it passed that point, she would torment her munchkin some other time. She gathered her resolve and prepared to go some place that she had never considered going before, until Kim showed up anyway. She took a small breath and went in for another hot and sweet kiss. Kim cried out loudly in pleasure as soon as she felt that scorching mouth touching the base of her being.

The pale woman fervently searched for the bell to ring the sound of freedom. One of her hands took sanctuary near another new territory while the other continued exploring Kim’s butt. The redhead hissed and tears of sheer pleasure fell from her eyes as fingers began a new journey, looking to discover what was at the very core of her. Before either of them knew it, Kim was screaming to high heaven, hoping that the night would never end.

Shego smirked mentally and also noted that her girl was still so delectable. She would bottle Kim if was plausible. She settled for lapping and slurping up the gushing region of her pet. She was going to make sure that her imp touched the sky again and again through out the night. It was the least that she could do considering all that her imp had done to her.

“Thank you,” Kim said and she kissed Shego’s neck. They had been lying still for roughly two minutes now that she was finished crying from pure elation. She had never felt so satisfied in all of her life. She had no idea that it would be like that when she finally got what she wanted. She did not think that anything could be that blissful and close to divine.

“Don’t thank me, you nut. That’s just fucking weird,” the raven-haired woman commented. She had an arm around the redhead, who was curled up next to her. It seemed that she had worried about nothing; she could perform just fine from what she could tell.

“Yeah, you’re right. I know what I should do,” the trim scientist declared.

Shego wondered what her little imp was about to do. Kim grabbed the bottom of her master’s tee-shirt and quickly lifted it off of her mistress. The elder female made a confused noise while Kim was trying to rid her of her bra. Shego grabbed her pet to halt her impulsive actions.

“What the hell are you doing?” the emerald-eyed officer inquired.

“Um…you,” Kim answered. She thought that was rather obvious since she was trying to get her owner naked as quickly as possible. It seemed like the best way to end the night.

“You bounce back quickly,” the pale woman commented. She thought that Kim would be mellow for the at least ten minutes, but it seemed that she was wrong.

“I know, so let’s get to it,” the redhead said with an eager smile as she pulled away Shego’s bra.

“Calm down, kid. We’ve got all night. It’s not like either of us are going anywhere,” the law enforcer pointed out as she began to caress the hero’s bare back. Kim grinned; all right, they had all night. Whoa, it was going to be a long, long night if she had anything to say about it as she leaned in for a deep, fiery kiss.

Next time: Kim goes to the hospital. What the hell happened to her now?

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