The Gods Must Be Laughing

Gag Thirty-one

Playing tag


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TITLE: Playing tag

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. The sequel to On a Short Leash. Shego and Kim continue their odd relationship. Still a weird sort of Kigo.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4376

Shego caressing her pet.

I never imagined that sex could be so good without it being exceptionally freaky. Last night was not exceptionally freaky, even though that monster of mine did a few things that I never would have thought of. I will say that I had no idea that she could bend that way, even after knowing just who she is and what she used to do in her spare time with the cheerleading and everything. Still, a lot of that was unexpected, but it was still great. I wish I hadn’t taken so long to get to that moment now that I see how good it was. At least we still have the future.

Last night was amazing as far as both Shego and Kim were concerned. Sleep had been forsaken for very busy, energetic, and passionate activities. It had been mind-blowing for both parties involved. They had learned some very new and important things. It had gone beyond what the other was capable of in bed, but also about the many intangibles that life was made up of and that they supplied each other with. And the best part of it was that in the morning everything was normal, well for them anyway.

Shego made Kim some oatmeal for breakfast like she did most of the time and the redhead sat down to eat like an obedient pet. Shego petted her girl’s head and Kim smiled as she always did because of the attention. They were normal, so everything was good.

“Do you have school today?” the older female asked as she sat down to have her breakfast. She was not sure about when school started for her pet because she did not know the girl’s new schedule just yet.

“No, I’m going to the lab today,” Kim answered. She was still off for the summer, but classes did start soon, so she wanted to get some time in the lab before she had classes for her fall term.

“What time?” the pale woman inquired to gauge how long her monster would be in the house alone. She did not want Kim to be there for too long or she thought that the girl would go crazy on junk food and manage to mess up the apartment.

“In like an hour,” the redhead replied as she glanced at the clock to see what time it was. She did not really have any set time to show up at the lab, but she tended to go in the morning with the hope that she could put in some work before Wade called her for whatever reasons.

“All right. Don’t blow up the house before then,” Shego remarked with a teasing smirk.

“Well, I can’t make any promises,” the younger female replied with an impish smile.

Shego shook her head, showing that she was a little amused while wondering how Kim could possibly make that face after the thing that she had done last night. How could she look so innocent when she was nothing of the sort? The raven-haired female shook off the question and finished her breakfast, which was only a toasted bagel and a cup of tea. She prepared to go to work as she did every morning. On her way out, her pet gave her a kiss on the cheek as always and then she went to work.

There was not much for Shego to do around the precinct, which she had expected. She decided to just zone out on what happened last night. She really had never in her wildest dreams thought that things would be like that, even though she had already had a few experiences with Kim. It was just that the both of them being active made things infinitely better. She was already planning on staying up all night tonight too. She did not require sleep as often as most other people and she was fairly certain that her munchkin would be all in for another few rounds; besides, the girl had energy to spare, so she did not require as much sleep as most people.

“Shego!” Doctor Director practically shouted, knocking her employee out of a sweet daydream. If yelling did not get her agent’s attention, she planned on slapping Shego in the head in a second.

“What?” the moss-hued female snapped, angry that her so-called friend would interrupt the very wonderful thought that she was lost in.

“What the hell is up with you?” Betty inquired in a curious tone. She could not remember the last time that her friend dreamed about something, especially with so many people in view.

“Nothing’s up with me. You’re the one shouting at people and everything, so really, what the hell is up with you?” Shego countered.

“I’m trying to figure that out about you. I’m trying to tell you that you’re doing a good job on your reports lately and here you are lost in your own head,” the chief informed her employee.

“I wasn’t,” the pale officer argued. The last thing that she needed right now was for the older woman to think that she was daydreaming because then her friend was going to want to know what was going on in her head and she was not sure if she wanted to reveal that information to the boss just yet.

“Yeah, you were. I was standing here for about a minute and you were just dazed out. What’s up with you?” Betty asked again.

“Nothing,” Shego insisted.

“You sure?” the older woman persisted.

The raven-haired woman pondered if she should tell her friend about her night, even though she really did not feel like talking about it yet. She doubted that the one-eyed woman would believe her if she did tell her. Hell, in retrospect, she hardly believed it. She doubted that she would be able to explain, so she decided against trying. Betty would find out one day, but not that day.

“Yeah, it’s nothing,” the emerald-eyed officer replied.

“Then what’s up with you daydreaming?” Doctor Director pressed.

Shego was about to answer, but her cell phone rang. She went to answer it, even though she did not recognize the number that was trying to get into contact with her. She waited for the person to identify himself in calling her.

“Hello, I’m looking for Shego,” the voice said. It sounded suspiciously like Wade, but she had never heard the computer genius’ voice before, so she did not know that it even sounded like him.

“Yeah, ‘sup?” she answered in a rude tone.

“Are you her?” the voice inquired.

“Who the hell is this?” Shego demanded to know.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I’m Wade, Kim’s friend. She told me I should call you,” he informed her.

“Why? What happened?” the pale woman asked.

“She said that she might be late and she didn’t want you to worry,” he explained, but it seemed that he had more to tell than that.

“Why?” Shego demanded to know. Kim never informed her when she was going to be late, so there had to be some reason behind the change. There had to be more to his call.

Wade gulped because of her tone and quickly explained the whole situation to Shego, who almost screamed when she heard the news. Wade calmed her down somewhat, but she was not even trying to hear anything else from him. She disconnected the call, put her phone away, and grabbed her keys. Betty looked confused with what was going on.

“Where are you going?” the boss asked Shego as the younger woman started walking away, toward the door.

“Pumpkin’s in the hospital,” Shego replied.

“Hospital? What for? Is she okay?” Betty inquired in a concerned voice.

“Probably,” was the clipped answer as the super-powered female hurried out of the door. She was going to go see for herself just what her brat was.

“Call me with news!” Betty hollered instead of trying to convince her employee to stay at work, as she was supposed to do since Shego was still on the clock.

It was no secret that Doctor Director did not like Kim very much. She knew that she would probably always just see a bratty kid when she looked at the redhead, but she did not want any harm to come to the annoying girl. After all, she was her friend’s pet and Shego liked the brat, so Betty liked her somewhat; she just would never mention that out loud. She hoped that the little idiot was all right and that it was nothing too serious.

Shego rushed into the hospital and stormed over to Kim once she found out where the careless girl was. Kim was laying on the bed, not looking particularly injured in any way. The redhead was staring down at her bare stomach and poking at a maroon area that was close to her bellybutton. Shego craned a curious eyebrow.

“What the hell are you doing?” the pale woman inquired with a sigh as she approached her girl.

“Shego!” Kim grinned. She had not been expecting her master, but she was very happy to see her now. She hoped that her mistress would be able to get her out of the hospital.

“So, you got tagged. You nutty kid,” Shego said and she rubbed the top of Kim’s head. She was so relieved to see that the slim scholar was all right. Even though Wade had informed her that Kim was fine, she needed to see it for herself to be certain.

Wade had reported to Shego that her little monster had been tagged, or bitten by a snake. He went as far as to tell her what kind of snake, but that information was meaningless to her, and then he mentioned that the slender hero was in the hospital, which had been almost all she needed to know. She also required what hospital and just to keep her calm enough to avoid having an accident, she did want to know what kind shape her munchkin was in.

“All right, what the hell happened?” Shego inquired now that she could see that her girl was relatively fine. She could not believe the trouble the kid got into just going to work. The kid nearly got killed being a nerd; only her crazy pet could do that.

“I was holding this taipan. I was just going to milk it. I mean it was no big deal, but he sort of jumped out of my hand and the next thing I know—” Kim attempted to explain, but was cut off.

“She was bit in the stomach,” the doctor commented as she came over. She looked much more like a model than a doctor and Shego was not too thrilled about such a young doctor handling her munchkin. She wanted someone with some gray hair looking after her maniacal pet, someone with some experience under her belt.

“Amelia, could I maybe tell the story?” Kim requested with a playful smile.

“Too late. I already told it,” the doctor answered with a taunting expression in her eyes.

“Is she going to be all right?” Shego inquired while pointing toward her monster. She was leaning toward “yes” since her pet seemed to be okay; she was smiling and everything. But, with Kim being so weird, the green-skinned woman was not too sure what to think.

“She should be fine. You couldn’t kill this girl with a pickaxe, it seems. She took some new antivenin that she developed before we even got to her, which was good since we didn’t have the antivenin for a taipan. And your lab should carry it if you have those kinds of snakes,” the doctor, Amelia, scolded the wounded redhead.

“Hey, my antivenin works, so we don’t need it,” Kim argued.

“We’ll see,” Amelia replied. She hoped that Kim’s antivenin did work or the little hero would be in some trouble. They had brought in some antivenin just in case, but the symptoms from the taipan’s venom were not pretty and she would rather not see the petite redhead go through any of the symptoms.

“We have seen. I’m okay,” the slender hero stated. Her antivenin had to work for the simple fact that she was still alive. If her antivenin had not worked, she probably would not have made it to the hospital considering how long it took an ambulance to get to her.

“We’ll see,” the doctor repeated.

“Is she all right?” Shego asked again because she wanted a definite answer.

“She should be fine. The symptoms had been present, but nothing too severe and they were gone in a couple of minutes. She’s been fine since then. She’s got a little bruising about the bite, but that was expected. We’re just going to keep her overnight to be certain that she’s all right,” Amelia answered.

“Overnight?” Kim echoed in disbelief. But, she was fine, so she should not have to stay in the hospital for the whole night. She did not think that was fair. She was about to protest the decision, but her doctor began speaking first.

“Just to be sure. I’ll be back to check on you in a little while. Try to behave until then,” Amelia replied and she turned around to walk away.

The punctured scientist pouted because she really did not want to be in the hospital for the night. She glanced over at her master, as if pleading with the woman to spring her from her prison. Shego did not seem to be paying her enough mind to notice the distress in her eyes.

“So, you happen to get bit by a snake that you happened to develop a new antivenin for?” the green-skinned officer asked. It seemed mighty coincidental to her and she would not put it passed her crazy brat to use herself as a lab rat.

“I know what you’re thinking, but it wasn’t like that. My antivenin isn’t just for the taipan. It’s for a general antivenin for poisonous snake bites. My thing with the taipan was just me not paying attention to what I was doing. Sometimes, you just do something so often that you forget how dangerous it really is,” the redhead replied.

“Your antivenin is a general antivenin?” Shego inquired.

“Yeah, that’s right. Obviously, the thing works pretty well, I’ve been working on it for a really long time and it is really tricky to explain. I figure that it could help save lives for people that can’t get to a hospital as quickly as I can or can’t identify a snake as readily as I can,” the younger female explained.

“How so?” the older woman inquired. She was really not following what her munchkin was going on about and she doubted that would change.

“It’s in pill form,” Kim announced with a cherubic expression on her face. She was obviously proud of what she had done and she really had cause to be that way.

“How the fuck did you do that? Wait, don’t even bother. I wouldn’t understand and don’t even want to know,” Shego said with a sigh.

Really, what the hell was Shego supposed to do with that kid? One second she was daydreaming about the great night that they had and hoping for a repeat and then the next second she was worried that the redheaded hero was going to die from a snake bite. It was just too much with her; if Shego really thought about it, she would realize that she was similar to Kim in that respect. After all, all kinds of things could and did happen to the pale law enforcer at her job. The difference being that Shego never worried about herself, which was also similar to Kim; they both believed that they could handle themselves in anything that they chose to do. The thing was just that Shego never remembered that Kim could do anything when the girl was around her.

“Well, since you’re going to be all right, I guess I’ll get going,” the emerald-eyed woman stated. She did not want to stick around in a hospital any more than Kim wanted to be there. She conceded that Kim’s doctor seemed competent enough and the redhead seemed to like the doctor enough, so everything should be fine. She might as well get back to work, she figured.

“You’re leaving?” the college student asked, trying her best to sound normal. Her voice betrayed her and let her mistress know that the girl did not want her to leave.

The pale woman looked into her pet’s eyes and saw that she was begging for Shego to stay. She did not want to be alone in a hospital. Shego sighed and looked away for a moment.

“I was just going to get us some lunch,” the older woman lied. It was what she was doing now, though. It seemed that she was not going to make it back to work that day.

“Oh, what kind?” Kim asked curiously. Her master had said the right word there; the redhead had not eaten since breakfast, which as well had been forever with the way her stomach felt.

“You are just a bottomless pit. I’ll get us some Chinese food. I’ll also go home and pick up a book or something for me since we’re going to be here a while. Do you want anything?” the pale woman inquired.

“My Rubix cube,” the petite hero requested with an elfish smile.

“All right. So, I’ll be back in about an hour. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kim agreed. She could hold on for an hour as long as her mistress came back as promised.

Shego left the hospital, fully intent on getting back to her pet as soon as possible. She did not feel right leaving her monster alone if the girl did not want to be by herself. Kim was not sure why she disliked being in a hospital, but she just did not like it.

The redhead did consider it strange that she did not like being in the hospital and her mother worked in a hospital. She never had a problem with going to the hospital to see her mother. Well, visiting the place to see her mother and staying overnight because she was injured apparently were two different things. Kim wished that she did not have to stay there for any longer than she already had.

Through out her short stint in the hospital, people did stop by to see Kim, mostly people from the lab. They told her that it was all right to be bitten and she should get used to it. In her line of work, she had bites coming at her from all sorts of serpents and other animals. She understood that, even though her mistress did not seem happy with the idea that she would be bitten throughout her life. Shego silently hoped that her monster would never end up in the hospital because of bites anymore.

The lab people also congratulated Kim on her successful antivenin. They did point out that one case did not prove that the medicine worked completely, but she seemed to be on the right road. She just smiled; her antivenin worked and she did not care what anybody else said.

“So, how are you feeling?” Kim’s doctor asked as she returned to check on her little patient.

“I’m fine. So, how about you let me go? You do owe me, Amelia,” Kim replied.

“Tutoring me for one math class back in high school isn’t worth me losing my job or you dying in the street, Kim,” Amelia stated.

“I’m not going to die. My antivenin works. I feel totally fine. Go look at my blood work and you’ll see that I’m totally spanking,” the redhead insisted. She wanted to get out of that place; everything smelled too sterile and just lying in the bed was driving her mad.

“Calm down. Think about your health. Do you think she’s going to let you go if she knows that there’s a chance you’ll drop dead later on?” Amelia asked while nodding toward Shego, who was sitting by the bed and reading her book.

The emerald-eyed officer had come back an hour after she said she would and had been with Kim since then. She had not said much to her loopy pet, who spent most of her time moping in the bed when people were not coming by to tell her that she had more snake bites to look forward to. The doctor had noted that Shego had not moved from her spot since she arrived, so she knew that the pale woman was someone important to Kim.

“Fine,” Kim pouted. She had to yield because her doctor made such a good point; her mistress was not going to agree to her leaving if her owner thought that she would die in the street.

“So, who is she anyway? Your girlfriend?” Amelia asked to make conversation with the pair.

Shego scoffed at that question. “She wishes,” the moss-hued female stated.

Kim was confused on something because of the question. “How’d you know I date women?” the redhead inquired with a craned eyebrow.

“I had a cousin that went to your school and I told her to look out for you if she ever needed some tutoring. She went to find you soon after we talked and she told me that you were dating Justine Flanner,” the doctor explained.

“I tutored your cousin? She never said anything if that was the case,” the scientist replied.

“Yeah, I think she actually liked you after spending some time with you. She was always talking about you when I saw her. She was wondering what you were doing with Justine,” Amelia commented in a slightly amused tone.

“That makes two of us,” Shego remarked under her breath, not bothering to look up from her book.

Amelia laughed. “From what I heard about Justine, it’s probably a mystery to the world. So, who are you to this crazy girl anyway?” she asked Shego.

“Her owner,” the pale woman answered.

Amelia laughed again, obviously taking the response as a joke. Kim was given a clean bill of health the next morning. The redhead was happy when she got to go home; she was also very happy to know that her antivenin worked. She flopped down on the sofa as soon as she got home and then she started poking around her navel again.

“Don’t touch it,” Shego ordered and she slapped her bad girl’s hand away from the bruising.

“Ow!” Kim whined.

“Stop touching it,” the pale woman commanded.

“Fine,” the redhead pouted as if she was bothered by not being allowed to touch her bite mark.

Shego sighed; her stupid pet had scared her yet again. She hated being attached to someone and she had never been attached to a person like she was with Kim. She completely loathed that scared and helpless feeling. It seemed like her pest had power over her and it should not be that way. She was the master, so all of the power should have been on her end, but that was far from the case.

“Damn it,” the emerald-eyed woman sighed and she grabbed her pet into a tight hug.

“Shego!” Kim yelped in surprise.

“Why the fuck can’t you just be more careful?” Shego asked in a whisper while burying her face in her pet’s soft, red mane.

“I will,” the redhead promised.

The slim hero did believe that she had to be more careful consciously. She was not on her own anymore. She had someone that would worry about her to no end and she would make her mistress’ life very stressful if she did not acknowledge that, which was counterproductive for her as a pet. She was supposed to reduce stress, so she definitely had to be much more careful.

(New day)

Kim was lying on her mistress’ lap and she was very content, which was easy to see from the peaceful look on her face. Shego was sitting on the sofa and reading the newspaper while her pet was playing with her Rubix cube. The pale woman noted how her mini-monster worked the toy; Kim was the only person that Shego ever seen work the puzzle cube as if she knew exactly what she was doing. The green-skinned woman was just glad that something was keeping her brat quiet and settled.

“Hey, want some ice cream?” Shego asked out of the blue. She figured that she would treat her pet since the girl was acting so good and she could use a snack.

“Yeah!” Kim grinned and nodded for emphasis.

The raven-haired woman got up to fix them both some ice cream. While Shego was in the kitchen, there was a knock at the door. Kim rolled off of the sofa to go answer the door. She opened the door without asking who it was and found herself face to face with an unknown, short-haired, blonde woman.

“Hello, can I help you?” the olive-eyed scholar asked in a polite tone.

“I’m looking for Cassandra,” the blonde replied.

“There’s nobody here by that name. Sorry, I guess you’ve got the wrong house,” Kim stated and she shut the door. She was about to return to the couch, but there was another knock at the door. She had a feeling that it was still the blonde woman, but she opened the door again to be sure.

“Excuse me, but I know that Cassandra lives here,” the blonde woman argued as soon as the door opened again.

“Um…no,” Kim replied. What else was she supposed to say? She shut the door again, only for the knocking to continue. The redhead groaned and decided to ignore it. The knocking did continue; Kim figured that her mistress could take care of the problem once she returned with the ice cream, so she went back to the comfy sofa and her fun puzzle cube.

Next time: meet another member of Shego’s family. And the mystery of Shego’s real name is revealed.

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