One in a Billion

Reason Seventeen

Bundles of joy


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TITLE: Bundles of joy

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and DISCLAIMER = I don’t own the original premise behind this saga.

SUMMARY: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Notes: The name “Bokuden” is pronounced Bo-ku-den and the name “Raziya” is pronounced Rah-zee-yah.

Words: 5591

It might be a miracle once it’s done, but getting to the finish line is troublesome.

Yori had gotten to enjoy Christmas and the day after before her actually overdue baby was born. She had a baby boy, who came out looking like a Japanese version of Ron with blonde hair and chocolate eyes, but no freckles. She offered Ron the chance to name their son, but he declined. He thought that since Yori had gone through the trouble of carrying their son for more than nine months that she should have the honor of naming the child. She smiled, happy to oblige.

She named the baby Bokuden, after a famous swordsman who lived to an old age and eventually taught the philosophy that a fight should be won without coming to blows. Ron was pleased with that; his son was Bokuden Stoppable; no middle name was necessary in their opinions. He was not sure how his parents were going to react to it, but he was very pleased with the name. He was also pleased that the baby looked like him; Monique remarked that she hoped the child did not act like his father, which Ron took no offense too because he was too happy to be a daddy now to notice any cracks against him.

Shego thought that Bokuden was an old man’s name and she said as much when she went with Kim to see the newborn. Yori simply countered by asking what she planned to name her baby when it was born. Shego did not have a comeback for that one because she and Kim had not discussed baby names, but now that Yori put it out there, they were going to think about it.

(New day)

“What do you want to name the baby if we have a boy?” Kim asked her spouse curiously. They were just lounging in bed at night, relaxing.

“I don’t know. I don’t want the name to be something common, though,” Shego replied while stretching out in the bed.

“Common? Like what?”

“Like your family names and my family names,” the pale woman pointed out. “I want our kid to have an interesting name,” she said while reaching over to rub her wife’s stomach. They had a “legitimate” bump now; Kim’s abdomen was no longer totally flat.

“Interesting like what?” the redhead inquired while holding in a yawn. Rubbing her stomach was now as close to relaxing her as caressing her head.

“I haven’t thought that far yet. What do you want to name the baby if we have a boy?”

“What do you think of Andrew?” Kim asked. Shego made a face, which the redhead did not accept. “What? What’s wrong with Andrew?” she inquired.

“Well, aside for the fact that if you shorten it, you get Drakken’s middle name,” Shego started out, but she really did not need to continue after saying that much.

“Okay, say no more. New name. What about Fredrick?” the younger woman offered up.

“Fredrick? Where are you getting these names? You want our son to have to kick ass in school everyday because kids are making fun of his name?” Shego countered with a bit of a laugh.

“Well, I don’t hear you coming up with great names,” the scientist riposted.

“Well, it’s better than coming up with crappy ones like you,” the green-skinned female commented with a teasing smile.

Kim made a face now, which earned her a kiss because Shego wanted her to get rid of that expression. The redhead returned the kiss, even though she knew that it was a ploy to get her to cease what she was doing. They would have continued kissing, but the bedroom door opened and there stood their son in the doorway.

“Smiley, what’s wrong?” Shego inquired as they turned their attention to the boy.

“I had the scariest nightmare of all time,” Todd reported as if he was more amazed than frightened.

“Okay, come on in and tell us all about,” Kim invited him because she knew that was what he wanted to do. She moved a little bit away from her spouse because she knew that their son was going to want to be in the middle of them.

Todd obeyed and crawled into bed with them, lying in between the couple as he covered himself with the blanket on the bed. Once he was settled in, he started telling them about the fantastic nightmare that he had. He was going to sleep in their bed that night, they knew, but not out of fear. He had stopped being afraid of his nightmares recently, knowing that they were all in his mind and that his guardians would never let anything truly horrific happen to him. But, his brain sometimes amazed him and he just had to tell them about it. So, he went into talking about the dream and reported it all to them. When he was done, he was planning to sleep in the bed with them just because he liked being near them.

“We’ve got to stop letting you have cake before you go to bed or something,” Shego remarked because Todd did have some bizarre nightmares when he stayed over with them. He had actual nightmares when he was at home and could not go to his She-she and Kimmie and tell them about the dreams.

“It’s not the cake,” Todd insisted. He liked having cake before going to bed, much like Kim, who would be the person that he got the habit from.

“It’s got to be something,” the pale woman commented.

“It’s not that. So, what’re you two doing?” the boy asked, wanting to stay up with them, which was normal for him.

“Thinking of names for the baby. Do you have any ideas?” Kim inquired. She bet that Todd would love to be included in the activity and she was right.

“Hmm…” Todd thought on it. “Tyrannosaur,” he offered with a grin.

“Um…no,” Shego said, although she had to admit that that would raise some eyebrows as a first name. “A normal name, booger. We’ll think about a nickname once the kid shows up,” she informed him.

“Oh.” Todd put his hand to his chin. “What about Chris?” he suggested.

“Why Chris?” Kim asked, even though she could tell from the look on her love’s face that they were not going to be naming their baby that if it was a boy.

“I know a boy name Chris and he can touch his nose with his tongue, which is really cool,” the child explained.

“Oh, yeah, name the baby after a boy with a freakishly long tongue. Perfect,” Shego said sarcastically.

“Well, what about girl names?” Kim asked, hoping that would go better than the current conversation was.

“Girl? That’s a girl in there?” Todd inquired while pointing at his Kimmie’s “bump.”

“We don’t know yet, booger. And so what if it is a girl?” the raven-haired woman asked because the boy sounded as if he did not want the baby to be a girl.

“Well, I want a brother,” he declared.

“Why?” the ladies asked at the same time, both sounding puzzled by that.

“So I can blow stuff up with him like Uncle Jim and Uncle Tim,” he answered as if it was obvious.

Kim and Shego just looked at each other. They knew that their brothers did not set the best example for their son, but they did not know it went to where Todd was looking to have a little brother just to cause trouble. They sighed and shook their heads; the gremlin was such a handful, even without meaning to be.

“Look, booger, you might have a little sister, so you have to be prepared for that. So, what would think as a name for a girl?” Shego asked the child.

“Hmm…” Todd put his hand back his chin again. “Oh, what about Cassie? Just like She-she, then,” he pointed out.

“Oh, yeah, that’s just what this house needs, another Cassie,” Kim teased her spouse with a smile gracing her lips while Shego just frowned.

“Ha, ha, ha. We’re not naming the baby anything close to my evil name,” the emerald-eyed officer declared.

“Then what about Kimmie?” Todd offered up.

“Sorry, Smiley, but that’s not a winner either. We need an original name, one that none of us have,” Kim explained to the child.

“Oh. Well, I dunno then!” he proclaimed with a giant smile, happy to not know it would seem.

“That makes three of us,” the hero remarked with a smile of her own.

“Could you two not be so proud about it?” Shego huffed.

“Could you not be so cranky about it?” Kim countered, just to be a pest.

“Come on, back to thinking of names,” the older woman said to get them back on track and get them to stop being goofy.

“How about we sleep on it and try again later? I mean, we’ve got plenty of time,” Kim pointed out.

“Plenty of time? When’s my brother or sister going to come out?” Todd asked curiously.

“Sometime in the summer probably,” Shego answered. They had gone to the doctor and gotten a due date, but she was starting not to trust doctors’ predictions when it came to babies. After all, the doctor had told Betty that she was going to be having a boy, but Mayah certainly was a little girl. And then there was Yori, who had carried Bokuden passed two due dates. Babies seemed to just do whatever the hell they felt like it in her opinion.

“That is like forever from now,” the boy commented with a groan. He wanted to meet that kid already.

His guardians laughed; next week seemed like forever to their son. The family decided to settle in for some sleep since they could not come up with any good names, but that would not be the end of name suggestions. Name suggestions quickly started coming from the expecting grandparents.

Shego thought it was creepy when Isabel started calling with name ideas. It was creepy because she was starting to find out some of the names that had been taken into consideration when she was in her mother’s womb. She was starting to believe that she had made out well with “Cassandra” after her mother started saying some of the other names she liked.

(New day)

“Princess, you have no fucking clue how close I was to being named Penelope,” Shego reported with horror in her eyes and voice as she got off the phone with her mother, rejecting another round of baby names.

“Isabel liked that name, huh?” Kim asked, her feet resting in Shego’s lap instead of her head for once. They were sitting on the sofa as usual, just relaxing. Their “bump” was just a little larger than before.

“Too much in my opinion,” the pale woman remarked. And to think, she used to wonder what could have been worse than being dubbed “Cassandra Isabella,” but now that she knew she could have just as easily been “Penelope Isabella,” she figured that she might have to start appreciating “Cassandra” just a little bit more.

“What’s wrong with it? You hate like every name on the planet,” Kim pointed out with a smile.

“No, just all the dumb ones,” Shego replied in a “doy” voice.

Kim rolled her eyes. They had gone through hundreds of names, with some help from family and friends, and none of them were good enough for Shego. Kim was starting to think that they might have to make up a name for the baby. Shego was starting to think that it might be best to see what their child looked like before picking out names.

“So, what are we going to do? Wait for my mother to call back with a list of names for you to make faces at?” Kim inquired. It never failed that after Isabel called with names, Ann would call right after with names of her own. Or Ann would call first and then Isabel would call.

“Why won’t they just leave us be?” Shego wondered out loud with a tired sigh.

“Because they’re our parents,” the redhead pointed out with a smile.

Shego just shook her head, but did not get the chance to respond because the phone rang. Knowing who was calling, Shego passed the phone to spouse. Kim knew who it was too and greeted her mother as soon as she had the phone in her hand.

While Kim spoke with her mother, Shego wondered if she and Kim were going to be anything like their parents when their kids grew up. Were they always going to be offering Todd advice that he probably did not want? She hoped that they were not going to be as annoying as she thought their parents were, at the moment anyway. She might not be open to the name suggestions, but she did listen intently whenever their mothers talked out how to handle and take care of their baby when the child arrived.

Shego busied herself by tickling Kim’s feet since they were in her lap. The redhead was trying her best not to giggle while she was on the phone, but that was a little hard to do. She eventually had to explain to her mother that she was not going insane, but her wife was tickling her.

“Hey, my mom says stop it,” Kim informed Shego.

“What’s she going to do if I don’t?” Shego countered and she continued on, causing Kim to laugh louder.

“She says she going to call your mother!” Kim answered while trying to get away, but remain on the sofa. Needless to say, it was not working.

“Such an evil woman,” the pale woman commented while deciding to grant her spouse some mercy for the moment.

“She also wants to know what you think of the name Lucia for a girl,” the scientist reported.

Shego rolled her eyes and just waved the name off. Kim sighed and answered back that they would think on it. She then listened as her mother went through more names, some male, some female, and some unisex. She offered those back to Shego, who made faces to all of them, which was expected. Kim sighed when the conversation was over.

“You don’t like any names,” the redhead pointed out.

“None that’ve come up. We’ve got a lot of time to think on names, so don’t worry about it,” Shego replied.

Kim sighed again, but she did not argue. They still had plenty of time to think on a name, but she was not too sure if they were going to make the deadline, namely before their baby entered the world. She tried not to think on it, though. There were other things to think about thanks to the child calmly growing inside of her.

There were her missions of course. At first, they considered something drastic, which was that she would not do any missions while she was pregnant, but because Kim was as antsy and energetic as she was, they quickly found out that was going to be the very definition of impossible. So, they adjusted that and figured that Kim would do the less dangerous missions in the early months of the pregnancy. At the five month mark though, her missions were dead in the water until their baby was born, Shego told her as much.

Kim had not argued with that. She doubted that she would be able to do much as far as her missions with when she was five months pregnant anyway. She would not be used to moving around with the extra weight and she would be too nervous to do much anyway; hell, she was nervous to do things now. After all, she was carrying their baby.

She was also super-careful at work now. She did not feed any of the snakes anymore. She actually tried her best to not even handle the snakes; she asked people to handle the serpents for her. She was not frightened of being bitten, but she was not about to see what effects venom and antivenin could have on their unborn child. Her spouse was not interested in seeing that one either.

Shego was also more careful at work now, but not to the same extend as Kim, although she had been trying to be more cautious ever since she had gotten shot. She followed more of the rules and regulations than she ever had in the past and she typically now thought of plans to go after criminals instead of using her old “hit them until they stop” strategy that she used to go with more often than not.

The pair figured that they were ready for when their baby arrived. They had changed their lifestyles, they were financially secure, they were open to advice for the most part, and they were getting the baby’s room together. They had been saving the last room in the house for just an occasion. Now, if only they had a name for the child.

(New day)

Monique was very in pain, but rather happy about it. She had gone into labor and she was happy to be having her baby, not just because it was a joyous occasion, but she was tired of carrying around the extra weight. Kim could understand that, being twenty-eight pounds heavier than she was accustomed to herself at the moment.

Felix was glad that Monique was having the baby too, even though she was cursing him and his name for having done “this” to her. She had been rather cranky through out her whole pregnancy too and he was not used to it. The worst of matters, as far as he was concerned, was that she never wanted to have sex, not until she was freaking huge anyway. By that time, he was too disturbed to even think about having sex with her considering just looking at her reminded him that their child was in there. He just could not do it, knowing the baby was in there being…well, a baby. She never took kindly to him not wanting to sleep with her, no matter how illogical it seemed to him, and it generally lead to a lot more yelling from her at him.

Everyone was on pins and needles waiting to find out what Monique had. Shego was especially anxious. Yes, she was there waiting with Kim and her friends, just like she was there when Yori had Bokuden. Shego wanted to see if Felix’s features were going to come out with his and Monique’s baby. Was she going to be looking at a clone of Felix in about three months? She sincerely hoped not, even though she did not think that the appearance of the child would affect her much.

Monique was in labor for a whole twelve hours. Yori ended up leaving and coming back once she was informed that the baby was born because Bokuden had been being fussy. Upon arrival, she got to see that Monique had given birth to a caramel-skinned baby girl. Crowning the child’s head was a patch of brown hair and she had a pair of sky blue eyes. So far, it looked like Felix had some strong genes.

“So, what are you guys going to name her?” Ron asked curiously while looking down at the baby. She was a cute little thing, he thought.

“It’s still a toss up. Felix wants Raziya and I still like Michelle,” Monique answered.

“I thought you guys agreed one would be her first name and the other would be her middle name,” Kim said.

“We did agree, but we never agreed which was going to be which,” Felix pointed out.

“Oh,” the redhead muttered. “Don’t you think you two need to figure out which one is going to be which now?” she inquired.

“Well, I like Raziya too, so how about we make that her first name?” Monique asked her husband.

Felix nodded in agreement. He was going to give in to her desire no matter what anyway. He looked down at their baby, Raziya Michelle Renton. He smiled, already deeply and dearly loving his daughter.

Shego studied the child, wondering if that was what her baby was going to look like. Would their baby have such light blue eyes? No one in her family had that shade of blue for their eyes. Would their baby have that shade of brown hair? No one in her family had that color hair and she had not met anyone in Kim’s family with that particular shade either. The thoughts were a little unnerving and she hoped that she was not going to react poorly when their baby came.

Kim being pregnant was bothersome, but Kim being pregnant and stuck at home for the most part was worse. The more weight she put on, the lazier she got and the more she whined about things. Shego tried her best to put up with it, knowing that Kim was not herself, but she had limits.

“Damn it, Princess, shut up!” Shego screamed in pure frustration. Her wife was in the living room practically crying about a meal that she was not going to have.

Kim wanted spaghetti; it seemed to be all she wanted through out her pregnancy. No matter what meal it was, all Kim wanted was spaghetti and, of course, her lover was not looking to have that, especially when the redhead wanted spaghetti for breakfast. Kim was not looking to take “no” for an answer.

“Spaghetti!” Kim hollered back in a whiny tone.

“No! So, shut up!” the pale woman replied heatedly. God, she was sick of hearing that fucking word!

“Evil woman! Evil, evil woman!” Kim shrieked and then she pulled her trump card that got her everything that she wanted now. She began crying.

Sometimes, Kim actually did not cry on purpose. She would just get overwhelmed by any little, almost trivial thing and start bawling, which neither of them were used to and neither of them liked when that happened. But, other times, she did it to get her way and that worked. It worked because Shego never knew if she was being serious or not and the chance of her being serious made the green-skinned female act.

“No, no, no, don’t do this crying bullshit, Pumpkin,” Shego said as she entered the living room to find her little spouse curled up on the floor, shedding what she hoped were crocodile tears.

Kim did not let up and Shego snorted in anger. She sat down next to the redhead and took her into her arms. She held Kim in loving arms and stroked her seemingly forever growing belly. Kim leaned into her and found herself in an awkward spot that was becoming common. She was not sure anymore if she was pretending to cry or if she was really crying.

“Come on, Princess, don’t cry,” Shego pled in a gentle tone.

“I’m sorry I made you mad at me,” Kim apologized. Well, that cleared up matters for both of them. She was genuinely weeping now because she thought that she had upset her mate.

“I’m not mad at you,” Shego promised in a hushed tone.

“But, you told me to shut up,” the redhead pointed out.

“I’m the one that’s sorry. I shouldn’t have told you to shut up like that. Look, I can’t make you more spaghetti, okay? You have to eat better than that and you know that, so stop asking me about it,” Shego stated.

Kim nodded, but she did not stop crying. Shego just held her and refused to give into the tears, knowing that they were going to keep going not because Kim was hurt emotionally anymore, but because she wanted spaghetti. The raven-haired woman was not going to make the pasta and that they both knew that because they had gone through the scene so many times already. Shego was going to make sure that Kim maintained an excellent diet while she was carrying their baby, whether Kim liked it or not.

Other than food, Shego was a little concerned about the way Kim just lounged around the house as she gained more and more weight. She tried to make her redheaded spouse get out and do things, but Kim would just whine and refuse to move. It was rather irksome to see her wife being so lazy when she used to be so active.

Kim bothered Shego with all kinds of irksome things, like changing the channel on the television if the remote was just out of her reach. She sometimes screamed as if something was seriously wrong just because she wanted Shego to pick her up off of the sofa. As far as Shego could tell, her little spouse was not as happy to be pregnant as they thought she might be now that she was deep into the condition. Neither of them could wait for their baby to arrive, although Shego hoped that their baby did not look like Raziya did.

Through out the pregnancy, Shego did not talk much about how annoying Kim was, not even with Betty. She supposed that deep down, she understood why Kim was the way that she was and she was prepared to be there for the scientist no matter how irksome she became. It was not going to last forever anyway, she always reminded herself. That was how she often made it through the day once she came home to Kim. It was not going to last forever and the end would justify everything anyway.

Work was a minimum distraction for Shego. Kim never called her when she was at work in order to whine or anything like that, which most would have thought made Shego relax. Wrong. Very, very wrong.

Shego was just a bundle of nerves at work, constantly wondering why the hell her wife was not calling her. Due to Kim’s completely lazy and utterly dependent state when she was at the home, she thought that Kim should be calling her every ten minutes to bug her about something, but that was not the case. Kim did not call her during her work hours and it worried her. She always thought that something might have happened to Kim, which just meant that she always called the house. About once every hour, she called Kim whether the redhead was home or at school or at work.

Kim did think it was sweet that she got a phone call from her spouse every hour to make sure that she was all right. Shego always asked if she was okay and how she was feeling. She would then ask about the baby and if the baby was behaving. She would offer to come out if Kim needed her or anything. Obviously, Shego sort of encouraged Kim’s totally spoiled behavior, but she never noticed. She would have dismissed it anyway because Kim was spoiled already, so she would not see any harm in it.

The day she did get a phone call from Kim made Shego immediately think something was wrong. It was an emergency, but nothing was wrong. It was the middle of summer and Kim had gone into labor. The only person home with her was Todd. Shego practically flew out of the headquarters and her speed alone let Betty know what happened.

Isabel was pacing in the waiting room of the hospital. James and Ann Possible watched her go from their seats; it was like pacing through her, which kept them from pacing with her. Betty was also watching Isabel, not surprised to see the older woman there, even though she was fairly certain that Shego had not called her mother in. She was right; Shego did not have to call her mother.

Shego’s younger brothers had come for the event; Mego had came in with Isabel while the Wegos already lived in Go City. The Possible twins were there too. The twins were all busy themselves by telling Todd of all of the things that he needed to do with his summer. Todd was happy to be with his guardians for the summer and that was enough for him, even though they had signed him up for swimming again and baseball. He still swam like a rock, but getting better at baseball with every game.

Kim’s friends had shown up, even though they had little babies to look at out for. They just figured that Kim had been there for them, the least they could do was be there for her. They were also curious about the baby. Kim had not told them what she was supposed to be having. She had not told them much, saying she wanted them all to be surprised. As far as almost everyone was concerned, the biggest surprise would be if the baby came out with pale green skin.

In fact, when Shego came to inform them that Kim had given birth to a baby girl, they almost all wanted to ask about the skin color before anything else. They refrained, though. They would see soon enough, anyway.

“So, she cursed a lot?” Ron asked Shego curiously, referring to Kim. They were walking to the hospital room.

“In four languages,” Shego answered plainly.

“Promised to kill you after the baby arrived?” he continued on.

“Tried to get up to kill me while the baby was still coming,” she replied.

The blonde businessman nodded; he and Shego had just bonded, not that either of them knew it. Yori had cursed him out in three languages, two of which he understood quite clearly, and promised to kill him during the most painful moments of labor. The death threat was something that Felix had gladly missed out on when Monique was cursing him out when she was in labor.

When everyone went to see Kim and the baby, they were surprised by how worn out Kim appeared. They had never seen her look tired, but she looked absolutely done in, even though she was smiling quite happily too. It was something that they could understand, though. She had been in labor for close to twenty hours.

Everyone got a good look at the baby, who was a tiny thing as far as they were concerned. The baby did weigh seven pounds, but she just looked so small. She had chubby cheeks and her olive green eyes stared out at everyone as if she was asking who the hell they were; her expression actually led them to believe that she was definitely Shego’s daughter because her face did make it seem like she was cursing at them in her head. She had light brown hair and her skin was a peach complexion like Kim’s, so it seemed pretty clear to all those having crazy thoughts that, no, Shego had not magically done anything to Kim to get the scientist pregnant.

Everyone stayed until they were pretty much kicked out, Shego included. Shego returned as soon as she could, though. Kim smiled, still appearing tired, but happy, when her spouse came back. Todd was not with Shego.

“Hey, where’s our little gremlin?” Kim asked in a curious tone.

“Hanging out with his Grandma and Mee-ma,” Shego answered as she approached the hospital bed and kissed Kim on the forehead.

“They’re keeping him away from his uncles, right?” the redhead asked with concern. His uncles were just always looking to get him into something insane.

“You know it,” Shego replied while looking down at their sleeping daughter, who was in Kim’s arms.

“You know, we still don’t have a name,” Kim pointed out.

Shego nodded because it was the truth. “Well, what do you want to name her?” she asked, figuring Kim might as well name the baby since she had been the one that went through the trouble of carrying their daughter around for so long.

“I want you to name her,” Kim replied because that was the plain truth. She figured that naming the baby would give Shego a deeper connection to their child.

Shego nodded again. She stared at their daughter and wondered what to name the girl. What did she look like? She watched the child move a bit in her sleep, instinctively cuddling up closer to her mother. The baby yawned and then Shego just blurted a name out.

“Jayden,” Shego said.

“Okay, but why?” Kim asked. It seemed to come so easy to her spouse now that she was on the spot. They had gone through hundreds of names for nine months and in less than nine seconds, Shego had come up with a name that they both liked.

“Well, I was going to say ‘Jade,’ but even that’s a bit too conventional for my tastes,” Shego answered. To her, their daughter did look like a “Jayden,” though; her wife would agree.

“We can call her Jade for short,” Kim suggested.

Shego nodded because that worked for her. So, they now had a daughter, who would be named Jayden True Possible-Gooding when it was all said and done. It was wonderfully pleasant and satisfying feeling to have a little baby girl, they both noted. How long would that feeling last, though?

Next time: can Kim and Shego balance their attention between Todd and Jayden? Also Todd gets a birthday party while Mayah and Bokuden get to know each other.

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