One in a Billion

Reason Five

Never look back


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TITLE: Never look back

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters or the original premise behind this saga. I also don’t own Pepsi or Hennessey.

SUMMARY: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 5342

I’ll hold your hand as we walk off into the unknown and you can rest assured we’ll make it to the other end. The move steps we take, the closer we get to where we need to go and you’ll never want to turn around.

Kim was stunned by what she was seeing. For some reason, the first woman that she had ever entered a relationship with was standing behind her while she was sitting at the bar in the hotel that she was going to getting married in when the morning came. What was Justine Flanner doing there? Was it a coincidence or was Justine aware that she was about to get married in the morning? She supposed that she was about to find out.

“Are you going to invite me to sit or are you just going to stare at me all night?” Justine inquired in her usual slightly snobbish tone. It was hard to tell that she was attempting to be friendly and humorous.

“Um…okay, you can sit,” Kim replied. “It’s a free country, after all,” she added to make sure the response was not taken as anything deeper than what it was.

Justine smiled a bit and sat down next to the shorter female. Kim’s drink was brought to her; it was Pepsi mixed with Hennessey. Justine ordered one for herself too and then turned her attention to Kim.

“You look lovely,” Justine commented, which was not like her. It did not help matters that Kim was dressed in some pajamas to just known that she was being b.s-ed.

“Thanks,” the petite hero muttered. She was a bit uncomfortable being complimented by her former girlfriend and not just because she was about to get married in the morning. It was just that the blue-eyed genius hardly ever complimented her in all the time that they had known each other.

“So, I hear you’re getting married,” Justine said. Quite the conversation opener, Kim thought sarcastically.

“In the morning. How’d you hear that?” the redhead inquired rather curiously. It was not like she or Shego had been telling scores of people. In fact, the people that were invited to the wedding were the people that they told, not counting her grandmother or Shego’s aunt and cousin.

“Your father was running around the laboratory telling anyone that would listen that his little girl was getting married. I happen to be working there for the moment, so I got to hear this. I could hardly believe my ears. You’re getting married. To that woman that you were in the mall with?” the blonde scientist guessed.

Kim nodded as an answer. She did not say anything because she was taking in what Justine said and she did not owe Justine any real answers anyway. She could not believe her father had actually been telling everyone that she was getting married to Shego. After all, her father hardly understood her sexuality and yet he was running around telling all of his colleagues that she was marrying a woman. Funny, he was certainly open-minded for a guy who had problems with circus folk and showbiz folk. She smiled softly to herself because of that; at least she knew that she was not disappointing him and that he was genuinely happy for her.

“So, you showed up because I’m getting married?” Kim asked after a couple of seconds of silence.

“I showed up to give you a chance to not make a bad decision,” Justine replied.

The redheaded adventurer looked rather confused by that statement. Bad decision? How in the hell could it be a bad decision to marry the love of her life? Even though she was sitting at the bar because nervousness had finally set on, she knew that she was not making a bad decision. She was with the person that she wanted to be with and she had known that from almost day one.

“How is it a bad decision?” Kim inquired. She just had to hear Justine’s reasoning behind the statement. She did not even want to think about what the blonde was hoping to accomplish.

“That woman, she’s not your equal,” Justine replied rather soundly.


“She’s not good for you. Honestly, how could she offer you any kind of companionship? You probably can’t hold a decent conversation with her and surely you don’t hold the same interests. She probably doesn’t know the basics of any science that you’re currently into. Why would you want to marry someone who doesn’t know anything about the subjects that interest you?” Justine pointed out.

Kim was silent for a moment. Now, it was somewhat true that she and Shego did not hold the many of the same interests, but they did hold some. They were both very into martial artists and they downright loved sparring with each other whenever they had the chance. They had similar tastes in movies and they could do extreme sports together, if Shego had the time for it anyway considering that they both liked to base-jump. They did not need to have all of the same interests to get along or hold a conversation. In fact, their differences helped hold conversations better than anything that they had in common.

“I would marry her because I love her,” Kim stated with conviction.

“You don’t really love her,” Justine argued.

“How would you know?” Kim asked. It was not like Justine knew her well and even if she did, she had changed since the last time she and the blonde had any meaningful interactions with each other.

Justine smiled a little bit; it was about as big as she could smile. She put her hand out and reached over to caress Kim’s cheek. It would seem that it was about just what Kim thought it was. She could not understand why Justine would waste her time over it.

“Justine,” the redhead started to say, but she wanted to get her words just right. She did not want to hurt Justine’s feelings too much.

“Kim, just leave. We could start over and be together again,” Justine suggested quite seriously. The look in her eyes seemed to actually plead with the smaller female to leave with her.

Kim had to use all of her willpower to not laugh out loud at that proposition. Start over with Justine? The woman that ordered her around like a slave? The woman that broke up with her because she wanted to continue to be a hero while in the relationship? The woman that criticized almost all of her academic endeavors because they were not the ones the blonde wanted her to do? She was supposed to leave Shego to go back to that? It would have to be an extremely cold day in Hell for such a thing to occur.

“Justine, you’re kidding right?” Kim asked because, to her, it had to be a joke. The taller woman had to be kidding because that was the only way the whole idea made any sense to her.

“What?” Justine said as if she did not understand.

“You have to be kidding. Either that, or you don’t remember anything that happened while we were together.”

“We had a good relationship,” the blonde stated.

“No, we didn’t. At least, most of the time anyway. You wanted to control every aspect of what happened in the relationship and you broke up with me in the first place,” the hero pointed out in case that slipped her former girlfriend’s mind.

“That doesn’t mean we can’t give it another try,” Justine argued.

“It’d only end the same way,” Kim said and she moved away from Justine’s hand, which had remained on her face until that moment.


“Justine, nothing you can say to me will make me change my mind. I’m getting married tomorrow and I’m getting married to Shego. She accepts me for who I am and doesn’t seriously belittle me more than half the time because she doesn’t agree with something I’m doing. I do love her,” the slender hero stated firmly.

“Kim, she’s beneath you,” Justine replied.

Justine could not believe that Kim would chose someone intellectually inferior to marry. She had always hoped, wished, wanted Kim to come back to her. She thought that it would have been the logical decision since no one could measure up to her in her own opinion. When she broke up with Kim, she had truly not expected that the redhead would never come back.

The blonde also had not counted on missing Kim as much as she had when she broke up with the petite adventurer. She thought that it was the best thing to do at the time, but she silently admitted a long time ago that she had made a mistake. She had thought that mistake would correct itself because she thought that Kim would come back to her, but then she saw the redhead in the mall with Shego. And then to make matters worse, she heard Kim was getting married. She could not believe what had gone through her when she heard that news.

Justine thought that she was going to have a heart attack when she heard that her Kim was getting married. The redhead was supposed to come back to her, yet she had gone and found someone new. It actually hurt quite a bit, like being punched in the stomach repeatedly, but Justine tried to ignore it. Even though she tried to pretend that the agony was not there, she found herself flying out of the country to go to the island that Kim’s wedding was taking place. She wanted to get Kim back, but it seemed like that was not going to happen.

“Kim,” Justine said in a low voice after a long pause.

“Yeah?” Kim replied.

“I love you and I want you to come back to me. I’m the right one for you and you know that. So, stop fooling around and just leave with me,” Justine said. It sounded very much like an order.

Kim could not believe her ears. It was like Justine had totally forgotten what their relationship had been like. It was like she could not do anything right when it came to Justine. Everything she did came under scrutiny and she did mean everything. Kim could not get out of bed without drawing some kind of criticism from the blonde and she did not even want to recall what used to happen when they were in bed. It was just too much and she would never go back to it.

The olive-eyed scientist never went back to anyone, except Shego. It was one of the things that let her know that she loved that cranky green-skinned female. She only felt a void in her entire being when she was away from Shego. Still, she disliked that Justine was pained by the fact that she had moved on.

“Justine, you’re a very special woman. Beautiful and smart, but you’re not the one for me. I know you’ll find someone that is right for you, someone that you really love, but trust me, I’m not the one for you. We’re just not made for each other. That’s the best way I can put it,” Kim said and then she got up. “I’m not saying this to hurt you. I’m saying it because it’s the truth. You’ll find someone for you, just like I found someone for me. And when you find that person, you’ll know what love really is.”

Kim leaned over and kissed Justine on the cheek. She then walked away before Justine could say anything. The blonde wanted to call out to Kim, but her voice failed her. She felt like she was going to cry as the redhead walked out of her life. Why had she let that one go, she silently demanded to know. She felt like such a fool.

Kim went back up to the room. She was not so nervous anymore now, which she thought was odd. Seeing Justine made her all too aware that she making the best decision when it came to relationships. She went to crawl back into bed, but found that Shego was gone. She guessed that she had been so long that Shego had gone to look for her. Well, she would just wait for the pale woman to return to the room.

Shego walked over to the bar and sat down, right next to Justine. The blonde did not notice her. Justine was too busy trying not to cry since Kim had left her instead of leaving with her. She had not planned on that happening and it hurt more than she would have imagined.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Shego demanded to know, speaking to the blonde. Her voice was harsh and cold because the last thing she wanted to see before the wedding was someone that her lover used to date.

“You,” Justine said with disdain in her voice and a frown as she finally noticed the pale green female.

“Yeah, me. What the hell do you think you’re doing?” Shego asked with anger in her voice because she could guess what the blonde scientist was doing. The bitch had to come and try to steal her girl, her Princess. Like hell that was going to happen, but she still had to express some frustration about it.

“None of your concern,” Justine answered while regaining her composure.

“Listen carefully, bitch. She’s mine. You can’t have her, so stay away from her. You’re not good for her and you’d only hurt her in the end, so just stay the hell away from her,” the green-skinned female commanded.

“She’s not yours. She’s only making a foolish decision, which is common for her. She’ll soon realize her mistake and come back to me,” Justine declared with confidence.

Shego scoffed. “Yeah, because she’s been dying to get back to you since you broke up with her. You two are over. You let her go, so leave her alone. She’s my girl, my fiancée, and tomorrow, she’s going to be my wife. I’m the one that’s going to take care of her for the rest of her life. I’m the one that’s going to make her happy. Do you know why? Because she wants to be with me, so leave her the fuck alone.”

“Afraid that if I’m around she’ll realize that you are inferior to her?” Justine taunted the emerald-eyed female.

Shego scoffed again. “I don’t think you’re anywhere near a threat to me. I just don’t want you to hurt her or upset her. See, if you do that, it just pisses me off. I wouldn’t recommend pissing me off.”

Justine looked rather skeptical. “I’m not afraid of you.”

“That’s the problem,” Shego commented and then she held up on hand.

She flared her plasma. Justine gulped, having never seen something like that before. Shego could see the fear in Justine’s eyes now and that made her smirk. It was about time that she got her point across.

“Now, I know you might think you’re hot shit, but I’m hotter. You’re not a fighter, that’s easy to see. You’re a big brain in some soft skin. You don’t want to know how easily I can go through that soft skin. So, leave my Princess alone because I’m not interested in going through this shit again,” Shego stated firmly.

The pale woman stood up and walked off, knowing that she had gotten her point across rather well. Justine was too smart to do something stupid, like challenge Shego over Kim. The blonde did just sit there at the bar, sipping her drink. She knew that she had lost Kim and it was like having her heart torn out of her chest several times over. She could not hold back her tears any longer and the liquid flowed from her eyes like heavy rain.

Shego could care less than nothing about how Justine felt. Justine had her chance with Kim and she botched it. The energetic hero did not go back to Justine after the blonde woman let her go, so it was clear that Kim did not want to be with her. Justine needed to just let it go as far as Shego was concerned.

The pale woman returned to the hotel room and saw that Kim was in bed. She slid in next to the redhead, who curled up into her chest as soon as she was settled in. Shego wrapped her arms around Kim and kissed her forehead.

“Where’d you go?” Kim asked curiously.

“Looking for you. I thought you were gone a little long for a drink,” Shego explained.

“Sorry to worry you,” the younger woman apologized sincerely.

“It’s all right.”

Kim nodded and they fell back to sleep. They were both still a little nervous about things, but they both were more than confident that they were making the right decision. They were with the person that they wanted to share their lives with, so now it was just about making a formal commitment about that.

(Next day)

“Oh, crap,” Shego muttered as she pulled out her outfit for the day. She was in the room alone because Kim left to change in her parents’ room and Isabel had come for Todd to keep him out of trouble.

Shego could not believe her luck. As she pulled out her outfit, she got to see that it had a tear in it. It was like she was cursed, she thought. She was not sure what to do, so she ran to the one person that she thought might be able to help her. She went across the hall and pounded on Monique’s room door.

“Shego, what are you doing? Shouldn’t you be getting ready?” Felix asked as he answered the door.

“Where the hell is your wife?” Shego demanded to know.

“She’s getting ready, just like you should be,” he answered.

Shego moved by Felix and went into the room. Monique was in the bathroom, touching up her makeup. She was surprised to see Shego through the mirror, so she turned around to see what the problem was, especially since Shego had a look of panic in her eyes.

“What happened?” Monique asked.

“There is a tear in my dress,” Shego answered.

“Shit, I thought you stored it in your carryon luggage to make sure it would be all right,” Monique said.

“It would seem that wasn’t enough with my shitty luck. Can you fix it?”

“Before the wedding?”

“No, after,” Shego answered sarcastically. “Because I really need the fucking dress after the wedding.”

“Don’t be snippy. Bring the dress and let me see.”

Shego nodded and went to retrieve the dress. She brought the garment to Monique and the chocolate-eyed woman inspected the problem. She could not believe Shego’s luck either. Someone somewhere just had to have it out for Shego in their opinions.

“Um…do you have a backup plan?” Monique asked.

“I do, but I want to wear this dress,” Shego replied.

“Okay, okay, okay. I can understand that, but I’m not totally sure if I can have this fixed in less than an hour to where it will be presentable. I’m going to try, though. No way in hell I’m letting even the slightest thing go wrong with my homegirl’s wedding,” the wavy-haired woman declared.

“Okay, just do your best. I’m going to go get into my other outfit, just in case,” Shego said.

Monique nodded and went to work on the dress while Shego went to get into her other clothes. The pale woman could not believe her luck. She really wanted to wear that dress, but she did have her backup plan just in case what happened did happen. Hey, she was not taking any chances.

Once she was dressed, she went to go check on Todd. He was already outside with Isabel. The middle-aged martial artist was trying to make sure that everything was right for the ceremony, which was going to take place in about forty-five minutes. She also had to make sure Jason and Hego acted right. There was also a problem with Lynn trying to get a cameraman to film everyone and quite a few people not wanting to be filmed.

“What the hell? Firefly, what the hell are you wearing?” Isabel demanded to know when she caught sight of Shego.

Shego was dressed in a tux with an emerald-colored vest. The tux was pressed and looked rather sharp on her. The suit had been her backup plan, but she really had wanted to wear her dress. She and Kim had agreed to wear dresses after a few long discussions to thoroughly plan everything out, but they had not let the other see the dress because they thought it would be a nice surprise.

“Mommy, don’t start with me,” Shego said in a firm tone. She definitely was not in the mood to hear that devil woman’s mouth with the day that she was already having.

“No, what the fuck is this? Like hell I’m letting my daughter get married in a fucking suit! You go put on a fucking dress right now before I kick your narrow ass!” Isabel hollered with fury burning brightly in her eyes.

“Goddamn it, Mommy! Do you think I wanted this to happen?” Shego screamed back.

“Who gives a fuck? Just go fucking change!” the older female commanded.

“Into what!” the daughter shot back.

Todd was going to remain hiding behind Isabel or his She-she, but they started moving away to have their argument and he noticed that damned cameraman coming close. He decided to make a run for it because he did not want to be on camera, but that guy just was not listening to him or taking the hint considering he kept ducking when the cameraman came near him. It did not help matters for the boy that the cameraman was a stranger. He went to crawl under a chair, even though he knew that was not the best hiding place, but it was a hiding place.

“Hey, Smiles, you don’t want to mess up your suit,” Betty commented as she pulled Todd out from under the chair.

“But…but…but…” Todd could not even explain himself and just pointed to the cameraman.

“What? Your She-she?” Betty asked. The problem with pointing at the cameraman at the moment was that he was next to Shego and Isabel and actually filming the argument, which looked ready to get violent. Betty could not believe that they were arguing when the wedding was supposed to start in about a half hour now. She decided to leave Todd to his own devices to go see what that pair was huffing about, although she suspected that it had to do with the suit that Shego was wearing, which Todd seemed to be wearing the pint-sized version of. Todd decided to get moving since Betty was not there to hold him back and he saw that the cameraman was starting to come after him again.

“Hey, kid,” the cameraman called to the child.

Todd gulped and tried to hurry his escape. He ended up being caught and the cameraman grabbed him by the arm. Todd nearly had a heart attack from the contact and acted on instructions from his Kimmie and She-she about if a stranger touched him. He bit the guy in the arm and then kicked him in the shin with all his might; his guardians had actually told him to aim higher than that if he could.

“Ah, you little brat!” the cameraman hollered in agony.

Todd took off since it was clear that he made the guy angry. The cameraman spent the appropriate few seconds hopping around and being in pain and then he turned his attention back to the fleeing boy. He gave chase and Todd noticed. The child was now extremely frightened and he started looking around for his guardians. Oh, god, where was his She-she and Kimmie?!

“Come here, kid,” the cameraman said.

Todd turned to see where the man was and saw that he was right behind him. The redheaded child had a feeling that he was not going to get out of the mess that he was in unless something or someone saved him. He then turned around to look in front of him to watch his path, but he was too late. He ran right into bag of golf clubs. He and the bag slipped to the ground.

“Whoa, kid, are you all right?” the cameraman asked and he leaned down, looking to help the child.

“Ah!” Todd shouted and he scrambled to his feet, touching a golf club as he did. He picked up the club while standing up and then he held the club in front of him as if he had a samurai sword.

“Okay, kid, just calm down. I’m not looking to hurt you,” the cameraman tried to assure the boy. He did not even want to see what the child might do with that club since he had already kicked and bit him.

“Go away!” Todd pled; his expression was close to begging.

“I just want you to say something into the camera—” the older male tried to explain, but he was cut off by a more forceful command from the child.

“Go away!” the boy repeated. Aside for the fact that the man was a stranger, Todd just did not have much affection for cameras. He hated having them stuck in his face because his biological parents were always forcing him to pictures and saying things like “smile for the nice man” or something like that and he knew it was because they wanted it to look like he was happy kid and they were good parents. Cameras were just devices for visual lies as far as he was concerned.

“Kid, just say something—”

Todd was not even trying to hear it. He took a swing with the driver that was in his hands and lucky struck the camera and not the man holding it. The cameraman did yelp and he dropped the camera as if it was hot lead. Todd then went ape on the device with the golf club.

“Ah! My 500 dollar driver! You horrible little monster!” Jason screamed when he saw that his clubs had been flung from the bag that they were housed in and Todd was using one to destroy a camera.

“Ah!” Todd hollered in fright when Jason came at him. Why were so many people going after him, the child wondered in a panic. He was ready to cry by now because of the terror going through him.

“Dad, what the fuck are you doing?” Shego shouted over to him when she noticed that he was marching toward her son and the boy looked absolutely horrified. If her father had done something to her little boy, not even her mother would be able to pull her off the self-righteous bastard, she thought heatedly.

“He wrecked my clubs!” Jason answered to justify his actions. The response caught his wife’s immediate attention.

“You brought golf clubs to our daughter’s wedding?” Isabel shrieked in disbelief. Their only daughter was getting married and he thought that there would be time for golf? She was going to wring his thick neck!

“This is a fight I can jump into,” Victoria commented to herself. Anytime her big sister was about to chew out the pompous ass that she was married to it, it was always something that Victoria could get behind. So, she went with Isabel to yell Jason while Shego tried to take care of Todd.

Lynn noticed what happened to the camera and she wanted to know the cause for its destruction. When the cameraman explained what happened, she went to go yell at the decided brat, also known as Todd. When she started yelling at the child, who turned away from her because of fright, Shego started getting on Lynn for scaring and hollering at her son. The brothers of the brides just watched it all happen while eating potato chips that they had all gotten out of a vending machine in the hotel.

“Mego, you have got to write about this wedding,” Walter commented.

“What the hell do you think I’m taking notes on?” Mego replied. He did, indeed, have a small pad out and he was taking notes on everything.

“Is there beer around here or something? This is like a fucking movie,” Wallace said in an awed voice. Out of everything that their family ever made entertaining, he could not believe that they added to the already interesting wedding. It was already interesting because his sister was getting married to a hot female that they met in a collar, of course.

“This is what happens when two people that shouldn’t be together try to be together. It’s a sign,” Hego stated as if that was a fact.

“No, a sign would be if Kim came out here in a collar and bikini,” Walter said.

“How is that a sign?” Hego inquired in a confused tone because he did not see the connection.

“It means God obviously loves us,” Wallace replied with a lecherous smile toward his double.

“A better sign would be if Shego lost the suit sometime in the next ten seconds,” Tim argued.

“And whatever’s under the suit too,” Jim added.

“You’re all perverts,” Hego said to the twins. It was almost like it was news to him.

“Is it he just likes taking the high road or is gay beyond all belief?” Tim asked the Wegos. From what he and Jim could tell, Hego just liked to shoot down anything that might be considered fun, so they figured that he was more inclined to act better than everyone else than to actually be against the things he said, but they were not totally sure.

“We have yet to figure that out,” Wallace answered.

“Guys, I think we’re going to need more snacks,” Mego commented as Kim and Ann came to join the mayhem. He was starting to think that he would never be able to go to another wedding again because no wedding on Earth could possibly be so entertaining before it even happened.

“We really need beer,” Walter said and he was dead serious.

Kim and her mother did join the yelling because they wanted to know what was wrong. They also wanted to know what the hell Shego was wearing. Kim could have sworn that Shego was joking when she said that she was going to wear a tux to their wedding.

“Shego, what the hell are you wearing?” Kim demanded to know.

“Will everybody stop asking me that fucking question!” Shego hollered in sheer frustration.

“Here’s a better question for you then, who’s going to pay for my clubs?” Jason inquired.

“You shouldn’t have brought those damn things in the first fucking place!” Isabel screamed at him.

“Yeah, you’re daughter’s getting married! You don’t have fucking time to work on your handicap!” Victoria added.

“What about the camera?” Lynn pointed out.

“Fuck the camera!” Shego replied.

“Who cares about a camera? Where’s your dress?” Kim asked her fiancée.

“What’s going on?” Ron asked the brothers as he walked over to their group. He stole some of Tim’s popcorn.

“Either a wedding or a war. It’s hard to tell,” Wallace answered.

“From all the swearing, I’d go with war to be on the safe side,” Jim commented.

“Usually Hego has to be kicked in the nuts for it to be a war with Shego involved. I’m sure you find this a refreshing change, eh, big guy?” Walter said to his eldest brother. Hego only frowned.

“Well, all I can say is, at least I’m not getting yelled at,” Ron remarked and all of guys could agree with that one.

Next time: do they actually get to wedding or do they just all kill each other?

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