One in a Billion

Reason Nine

Bun in the oven


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33

TITLE: Bun in the oven

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own the original premise behind this saga.

SUMMARY: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 4591

To be there for you and grant your desires makes me feel right. I wish I could give you all you want and desire. If only we knew you had such wants and desires.

Shego was still incredulous to what she was hearing and it showed on her face. Betty looked amused by her friend’s expression. She had desired to tell Shego the news since she found out, but the pale woman had been so worked up about her wedding that Betty just figured that it would be best to wait.

Shego was trying to figure out what she wanted to ask first now that she knew why her oldest friend was putting on weight. Did she want to know how many months or how long Betty knew or if she told anyone else yet? There seemed to be a million questions to ask and she just could not figure out where to begin. It did not help that she had never been in such a situation before, not having any other friends to run into such a predicament.

“Save it for later. We’ll go to lunch together since it’s so slow around here today,” the boss told her friend.

The pale woman could only nod to agree with that plan. Maybe by lunchtime she would know the questions that she wished to ask and she could get her mind straight enough to make those inquiries. She turned her attention to the huge stack of paperwork that Betty had brought over to her desk. The one-eyed woman then walked away to go handle her other business. They did get together for lunch was they had agreed. They went to the usual café down the street from the headquarters.

“So…pregnant, huh?” Shego said before anything else. She was just so shocked by the news that it was all she could muster.

“Indeed,” Betty replied, trying to contain herself. She had wanted to share the news with Shego for so long now. Too long, in her opinion. Hey, Shego was her best friend and they had always shared everything, good, bad, or whatever. Sometimes, the news just took a longer time than others.

“How long have you been pregnant?” the pale woman inquired.

The chief thought on it for a moment. “Um…four months.”

“Four months? And you’re only telling me now?” the raven-haired officer inquired incredulously. Four months was like a lifetime for Betty to keep something from her in her opinion. Of course, she had kept things from Betty much longer than that through out their lives, but that was her.

“Well, I only found out last month because I had been so busy it took me a while to notice something was a little off. I would’ve told you then, but you were busy with the wedding and everything. It was your moment,” Betty pointed out.

Shego nodded. It had been her moment and she was glad that she did not have to share it, so it was good that Betty had kept the news to herself. She accidentally smiled a bit, a grateful expression that her friend noticed and recognized. It would seem that she had done the right thing, the older woman noted. It was good to know that she had made the right decision in waiting.

“Are you happy about that?” Shego asked curiously. She could not picture Betty all fat and pregnant and happy about it. It seemed so unlike the brown-haired woman.

“Yeah,” Betty said in a low tone while rubbing her slightly swollen abdomen. “I never thought about having kids, but now that I know I’m going to have one, it’s all I can think about. Who is this I’m carrying? What will this person look like? How is this person going to act?”

“I think you’re a little ahead of yourself, Bets. It’s just a bump in your stomach right now,” the emerald-eyed officer pointed out.

The one-eyed woman smiled softly; it was clear that she could not get any happier with her condition and nothing that her friend said was going to change her mood it seemed. “I know, but I’m still very curious. I wonder about me and Dahntay as parents, although I already know I’m going to have to be the stern one,” she commented.

“Yeah, I can see Falsetto spoiling his kids like he spoils you.”

“Hey, don’t call him that. He’s out of that life and doesn’t go by that name anymore. And he doesn’t spoil me,” Betty argued.

“Bets, the man got you a wedding ring with a diamond on it that was the size of your dog’s head. You can’t even wear the damn thing because you can’t lift it. That’s spoiled. That’s like the definition of spoiled,” Shego countered.

“You know what, you’re the last person to say anything about spoiling people. Look at what you did to your brats.”

“They’re not spoiled,” the green-skinned officer retorted in a slightly offended tone. Okay, they were spoiled and it was her fault, but she did not like having it pointed out so blatantly.

“Yeah, they’re not spoiled. You keep telling yourself that, but we both know what happens when you lie to yourself,” the chief taunted her friend.

“Screw you. That’s why you’re not going to be able to see your feet in a few months.”

“I don’t care. I want to have this baby, so you can’t bring my mood down no matter what you say.”

Shego did not miss a beat to prove that one wrong. She said just about the worst thing possible in the most casual tone a person could use. “You’re going to turn into your mother.”

Betty’s entire expression fell. “Take that back or I’ll shove this fucking fork in your throat,” she threatened her employee. She seemed quite serious about it too and if anyone that heard the threat, they probably would have called the police just because of the one-eyed woman’s tone alone.

“I don’t take things back,” the younger woman declared in a cocky tone, daring her boss to fulfill that threat.

“Do you really think I’ll turn into my mother?” Betty asked in a panic. Oh, god, what if she did? What if she set such high standards that she left her baby believing that nothing would ever be good enough to please her? She would be just horrible. She would feel like the worst woman that ever existed.

“Calm down, Bets. Breathe deep. I just said that to piss you off. You’re not going to turn into your mother. I mean, look at me, I’ve got Smiley and I haven’t turned into my mother, have I?” Shego pointed out.

“Well, you were already sort of like her,” the boss replied honestly and maybe even with a little spite.

“Okay, you know what, go to Hell and wave ‘hi’ to your mom when you get there,” the younger woman stated.

Betty felt a little better about herself now that she was able to get Shego back for making her think that she might turn into her mother. She rubbed her abdomen again and silently vowed to cherish and protect whoever it was growing inside of her. She would never make her baby feel as useless and worthless as her mother made her feel. She would do her best as a mother and she would always be proud of her baby no matter what.

“Shego, now that you’re married, you think you’re ready for a full-time family?” Betty asked curiously.

“Whoa, I only just got married. Besides, I don’t think Pumpkin could impregnate me no matter how hard she wishes on a star for it to happen,” the green-skinned officer answered with a bit of a laugh.

The one-eyed woman laughed a bit. “Well, you’re pretty manly, you should impregnate her,” she remarked.

“I would if I could,” Shego muttered by accident. She had not thought that one out before she allowed it to pass her lips.

Betty was hardly surprised by admission, so her expression did not change when the words sneaked out. She actually wished that Shego or Kim could impregnate the other. She saw them with Todd and she knew that they would thoroughly enjoy having a child of their own flesh and blood. It would be utterly fascinating to watch the strange pair raise their own child and she supposed that it would be nice for them to raise a third generation of Directors and Goodings to hang out together.

“You know, there are options,” Betty found herself stating.

“You’re getting ahead of us, Bets. And we have Smiley to take care of,” Shego replied in an oddly serious tone.

The pale woman looked away for a moment. Yes, they had Todd, sometimes. It would be quite a thing if only she and Kim could have their own child. Would she look as evidently and disgustingly happy as Betty? She supposed that she would never know because unless there was some huge leap in science where they suddenly cared about figuring out how to get a woman to impregnate another woman, she and Kim would never have their own flesh and blood child like Betty was having with Dahntay.

“What do you think I should name the kid?” Betty inquired, interrupting her friend’s thoughts. She was very interested in her child and she wanted to talk about the baby now. It was her moment.

“Betty junior,” Shego remarked.

“Like hell. I’m definitely dropping this thing with females carrying “el” in front of their names,” the one-eyed woman commented. She was not sure who started that or thought it was cute in her family, but it was ending if she had a daughter.

Betty thought that her family was just as bad as Shego’s family when it came to naming girls. Where in Shego’s family, the eldest girl always had to be named “Isabella” for some bizarre reason, in her family, every girl’s name had to begin with “el” and it was an old tradition. Her grandmother had been named Eliza, her great-grandmother was Elaine, her great-great grandmother had been Elena, and so forth and so on. She had signaled that she was ending it when she was able to comprehend that naming sickness by deciding to go by “Betty.”

“So, you’re going to help me or what? You are pretty much going to be an auntie in about five months,” the chief pointed out in a taunting tone.

“I’m only good at nicknames. When the little unholy lizard is born, we can talk,” Shego remarked.

“You are so goddamn useless. Fine, don’t help. Dahntay and I will figure it out on our own. We’ll give you a perfect name,” Betty said to her growing child while caressing the knot in her stomach.

“Yeah, perfectly dreadful. Run while you have the chance to, kid,” Shego joked.

Betty only gave Shego a biting look and then they ordered lunch. The conversation remained on baby talk because Betty was taking it as her moment. She was so excited about being pregnant and even though Shego was being her usual bitchy self, she was very happy for her friend.

Kim was knocked out on the sofa, mouth wide open, arm hanging off the side, looking like a corpse. Shego was staring down at her petite wife. She gathered that Kim had gone on a mission because work at a lab could not be so exhausting. How much leeway did that lab really give her to just let her skip out any time that she felt like it to go run around the world to save people? She supposed that the lab and the school were just pleased to have the Kim Possible working and attending class there that they would let her do anything.

Shego leaned down and lightly touched Kim’s exposed abdomen; the redhead was wearing some house clothes, which consisted of a torn tank-top and pajama pants. What if she could do to Kim what Dahntay had done to Betty? Would Kim be as elated to carry her child as Betty seemed to be to carry Dahntay’s? They seemed like such stupid things to wonder since she would never be able to do such a thing.

She decided to stop thinking about it and she left Kim to her nap. It was foolish to think such things, she told herself as she went to take a shower. She would never be able to give Kim a child. Hell, she did not even know if Kim wanted children, although from the way that Kim acted with Todd, it seemed pretty obvious that she would not mind having kids. Shego was not even sure if she wanted children.

Yes, she liked having Todd and raising him up, but she considered that it might be because it was not a full-time thing. Did she really want a child or maybe even more around the house every second of every day? She had always sworn that she would never have children because she found them annoying for the most part. She could hardly stand going out to places such as the supermarket or something like that because she knew that she was going to see some kid being a brat and acting out and the only thought going through her mind was always that the mother needed to slap the kid to straighten the brat out, but the mother never followed her unvoiced advice.

Shego knew that she could not blame them because she could not hit Todd, no matter how much he acted out in public. She did at least yell at him, though, which was more than she could say of many mothers that she had seen in the street. She justified it to herself by telling herself that she did not smack the crap out of Todd when he began being wild because she did not want to traumatize the boy anymore than he was since his biological parents were doing such a great job of screwing with his mind. She really had no desire to add to that.

She wondered if she would be able to raise her hand to her own child, like her mother used to do to her and her brothers. She guessed that it would have to depend on the situation. She knew that her mother picked her spots when Isabel would wail on her or her brothers when they were younger, but that also could have been due to the fact that her mother was not around as much as she knew she would be around if she had offspring. She was pretty sure that she and her brothers would be much worse than they were if it had not been for those occasional wailings.

But, could she occasionally wail on her own child? She considered that it would not be fair of her to hit the one kid and not knock Todd around with all of his antics. The other child would probably think that it was something personal and figure that something was wrong with him or her. Shego did not want to screw up her own kid like that.

And then, she thought about how it was not just her in the house. She was with Kim, so she could have to figure in Kim’s role as a parent too. Watching Kim with Todd when they were in the house gave her the idea that Kim would make a fine mother. She was always spending time with Todd and was always teaching him constantly about almost everything. Outside was a different story.

The redheaded hero allowed Todd to run wild when he was outside and Shego was pretty sure that it was Kim that encouraged his outrageous behavior more often than not. She just seemed to let him do whatever came to mind as long as he was not about to get hurt or he was not about to hurt anyone. Shego supposed that it had to do with the fact that it was hard, if not impossible, to shame Kim. Kim did not get embarrassed and so, she did not mind much of the things that Todd did when people were watching.

Would they be able to raise a kid from scratch? After all, they had a foundation with Todd. A crappy foundation granted, but they knew what they were working with for the most part. They knew that they had to rebuild his self-esteem and get him to understand that he was not worthless like his biological parents made him seem. They had to bandage and heal the emotional and psychological wounds that the boy carried, but she was fairly certain that they would not even have to worry about such problems if they had their own child. They would love their own child from the start and make sure that their kid knew just how fantastic the kid was.

“Just stop thinking about it,” Shego told herself.

The pale woman took her shower and threw on some house clothes. She went back downstairs and joined Kim on the sofa. Kim was still knocked out, which Shego expected. She picked Kim’s head up and laid her head in her lap. She then turned on the television and watched for a while before the redhead began to stir.

“Hey,” Kim said in a groggy tone as she turned and snuggled her face into Shego’s abdomen.

“Hey to you,” the older woman replied while stroking her spouse’s exposed shoulder. “Rough day?” she inquired.

“I had to go to Egypt and track down some thieves that stole a whole mummy from the museum in Cairo.”

“A mummy? What the fuck were they going to do with a whole mummy?” Shego asked curiously. She guessed that if they worked hard, they would be able to find a buyer for it, but still, it seemed odd for them to steal a mummy.

“Hell if I know. I had to go through the desert to catch up with them and I am wiped out thanks to that. The desert is hot,” the hero commented, as if that was not a known fact.

“Gee, you don’t say?” Shego asked sarcastically.

“Don’t be mad because my day was exciting. How was your day?”

“It was pretty exciting too. I found out that Betty’s pregnant,” the emerald-eyed officer reported as if that was normal information.

Kim choked on air and she had to sit up for that one. She looked at Shego with an incredulous expression, which got her bopped on the head. The redhead cried out as if she had been shot and threw her hands on top of her head.

“Domestic violence!” Kim shouted with an exaggerated distressed expression.

“Stop being such a baby and don’t look like that anymore. You make it seem like it’s impossible for Betty to be pregnant,” Shego said, which was why she hit the redhead. She was insulted for her best friend.

“Well, I thought she was menopausal.”

“She’s not that old! She’s only three years older than I am,” the green-skinned female huffed and she bopped her wife again. Now she was insulted because it seemed like her wife was making her and her friend seem old.

“Ah! Why do you keep hitting me?” Kim wailed, making sure to look close to tears because of a pair of hits that hardly hurt at all.

“Because you’re a bad little monster. You should be happy for her.”

“I am happy for her! You didn’t let me get to that part because you kept hitting me!” the olive-eyed scientist replied.

“Well, it didn’t seem like you were getting to that part,” Shego defended her actions.

“I was going to say how awesome it is for her to be having a baby. That is totally spanking,” Kim insisted, not sure what else she should say.

Shego looked at Kim, as if she was expecting more. The moss-hued woman was waiting to see if her spouse had more to add, but Kim was done. She thought that it was great for Betty to be having a baby and she had expressed that. She flopped back down into Shego’s lap, curling back into the pale woman’s stomach.

The emerald-eyed woman was a little surprised that Kim did not say anything more. It would seem that children were not on Kim’s mind. Shego was not sure why, but that upset her a bit. She moved Kim’s head and got up from the sofa.

“Hey, where’re you going?” the younger female called while watching Shego go in the direction the kitchen.

The pale woman did not answer as she entered the kitchen. The redhead pouted, knowing that she had done something to chase her love away, but she could not figure out what she had done. She had already taken blows for her remarks about Betty, so what else had she done? She rubbed her forehead and got up from sofa.

The scientist walked into the kitchen to find Shego sitting at the small table that they had against the wall. Kim studied her green-skinned spouse for a moment, wondering what she had done that was wrong to bother Shego. And she knew that Shego was bothered because of the intense look on her face; it was like she was attempting to burn a hole in the poor table with her gaze.

Kim then marched over to Shego and just sat in the older woman’s lap instead of sitting across from her. She turned to straddle Shego’s waist as best she could and she clamped her legs around her green-skinned mate. She then put her arms around Shego’s neck.

“What are you doing?” the raven-haired female inquired.

“I’m guessing being a bad Kimmie, but I guess it doesn’t matter since I did something bad anyway. What did I do, though?” the redhead asked.

“You didn’t do anything,” Shego answered, placing a hand on Kim’s back to make sure that she did not fall over, even though the table was there to keep her from going too far or hurting herself.

“But, you left. Come on, tell me what I did. Please.” Kim leaned in for a little peck on Shego’s tempting lips, hoping to coax the story from her spouse with affection.

“It’s nothing, munchkin.”

“So, how come you left me to sit in here alone? You should know by now that you can tell me anything, especially if I did something wrong. I don’t want to upset you,” the redhead pointed out and she gave Shego a peck again, a little longer that time.

“Well…” The super-powered female took a breath. “Have you ever considered having children?” she inquired.

Kim thought about it. “I guess I have in a way, but nothing too serious. Why, you want children now?” the redhead countered.

As soon as that question came out of her mouth, Kim began thinking about what Shego had thought about earlier, if only one of them could impregnate the other. It would be fabulous, she thought. They would be able to have a family together with a child that shared their blood.

“I was just thinking about it, that’s all,” Shego answered.

“Well, it’s something we could plan for once we’re sure we want kids and we can take care of a kid. That would be best, right?” Kim asked.

“It would. I was just thinking about it, that’s all.”

“For the record, if it was possible, I would so carry your children,” Kim commented, as if she knew that would get her out of trouble. She was telling the truth, though. If she could, she would carry as many kids as Shego would throw at her.

Shego smiled a little bit. It was wonderful to know that Kim would carry her children if she could. If only she had been born a male, like her father probably wanted, Shego thought. She would have been able to have children with Kim, she thought, as reached her other hand out and ran a finger across Kim’s abdomen.

“We would’ve created some pretty amazing kids,” Shego muttered, more to herself than to her mate.

“Yeah,” the petite hero concurred. They would have had some kick-ass offspring if only they were able to. Too bad kids were not actually magically delivered by a stork or born in some cabbage patch because if that were the case, they would have been able to have their own child. But, alas, that was not how things were.

“Maybe we should talk about this some other time. After all, we’ve only just gotten married and everything,” Shego pointed out.

“Yeah. Let’s just enjoy that for a second,” Kim agreed with a grin.

“You’ve got something in mind?” the pale woman inquired as if she did not know.

The redhead leaned in for a slow, deep, passionate kiss. Shego returned the show of affection with just as much fervor. They figured that it would be best to just enjoy what they had and worry about other matters later on. They had time to consider what to do with their lives.

The thought of kids did not leave their minds, though. After all, as time went by, Betty only began to show her condition all the more and Shego had to watch her friend grow larger with every passing day. And she was plagued by thoughts of “if only I was born a male.”

Shego wished that she would have been able to give Kim children, but she accepted who and what she was. Kim loved her no matter what, so it was not as much as issue as her mind was trying to push it as. Besides, Kim had admitted to not knowing if she was ready for children anyway. Shego often had to remind herself that she and Kim were at two different points in life because she was seven years older than Kim. The redhead was still looking to establish herself in a way and still trying to get herself together.

As far as Shego was concerned, she was established and she was together. Maybe that was why she was thinking of kids much more than her spouse was thinking about them. She could not figure out why it remained on her mind. Maybe it was just because she was getting older, she considered. Something about her biological clock or something other b.s like that, her mind commented.

She felt a bit silly thinking about children when Kim was not truly considering them yet. It seemed…wimpy. There was something about the concept of parenthood that just seemed against her nature, Shego thought, but now that it was in her face, it was on her mind almost constantly.

When she sat with Kim, she often rubbed Kim’s stomach now instead of her head. The redhead noticed, but she never said anything because she could guess what was on her wife’s mind. Whenever Shego touched her belly though, she wished that she could somehow give Shego what she wanted.

If it was possible, Kim really would have carried Shego’s child and she was certain that she would have enjoyed every second of it. Unfortunately, there was no way for that to happen. Kim wondered if there was someway to fill the void that seemed to be opening up in her spouse. Nothing came to mind, though.

Next time: more baby stuff. Yori has news for the crew and Kim and Shego make a decision on if they’re ready for kids.

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30 - 31 - 32 - 33