One in a Billion

Reason Six

Make love, not war


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TITLE: Make love, not war

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters or the original premise behind this saga.

SUMMARY: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 5033

It was like seeing you for the first time and it was love at first sight. I was dazed, but it was all right; you were the same. It only made me realize I couldn’t love you any more if I tried.

Monique walked out to the space where the wedding was going to be held and found the great free-for-all argument going on. She arched an eyebrow in curiosity and hoped that no one was going to come to blows from the looks on their faces and the volumes that they were yelling at. She then dared venture into that mess. She was a brave soul, the audience of the argument thought; the brides’ brothers were the audience.

“Shego,” Monique said.

“What!” Shego snarled because she was just getting it for all sides as far as she was concerned and then she noticed who was talking to her. “Oh, didn’t know it was you,” she said as sort of an apology for her tone. She doubted that it would be in her best interest to show anger toward the person doing her a very important favor.

“It’s cool. I fixed the little problem, so you can go ahead and change. What the hell is this mess, though?” Monique inquired while looking around at the argument, which was still raging on without a key player, namely Shego.

“It’s bullshit is what is it. I need to change,” the green-skinned female stated and she suddenly handed Todd over to Monique. She had been holding the boy because it looked like her father was going to hurt the redheaded child over his precious golf clubs. Shego then rushed off.

“Where’s she going?” Kim asked Monique, referring to Shego.

“To get decent, so everybody might want to get into place and everything,” Monique answered with a rather bright smile. She was willing to bet that everyone would be breathless when they saw Shego once she changed.

“Good luck telling them that.” Kim motioned to Jason, Isabel, and Victoria, who were all still going back and forth with each other. Lynn went to whine to her mother and aunt about the camera since Shego had left; Lynn had been hollering at her cousin about it before since it had come to light that Todd was the one that destroyed the expensive mechanism.

“I’m not even going to bother,” Monique replied. Only a mad person would try to stop all of that.

The argument raged on until Isabel suddenly stopped hollering in mid-sentence. Something caught her attention, which did not go by her husband or her sister. They turned to look where Isabel had her eyes trained to see what had her attention. They were witnessing the reasoning for the gathering.

Kim and Shego were standing together, each admiring the other’s dress; along with the person inside of the dress. Shego’s dress was strapless with an emerald band going around the top, but the dress was white. There was a green undertone to it, though. It flared out only slightly at her hips and stopped right at her feet in the front, but the back dragged a short train. There was also an emerald band going around the bottom of the dress. She had on gloves that matched the green of the dress and her hair was up for the first time since Kim had known her. She had a white veil with a green hue that fell to where her hair usually fell at her back.

Kim had on a pearl white gown. It had thin straps and flared out more than Shego’s dress. At the waist on her left side was a small, cloth rose with red swirled into the design. The gown easily covered her feet, pooling around on the ground like spilled milk. She also had her hair up. It was in a bun with a tiara around the mane. The tiara had been picked out by Shego because she wanted Kim to know what she was a princess. Kim also had a veil that fell to the small of her back.

“You look good,” Shego commented in a low tone. It was the first thing that came to mind and she knew that it was lame, but at least it was the truth.

Kim smiled shyly. “Thanks. You do too.”

It was almost like they were seeing each other for the first time or had been set up on a blind date that they were shocked to find was not some deformed monster. They were both blushing, which Shego’s family thought was too amusing since they could not recall the last time that they saw her blush. It was obviously time to start the ceremony.

Isabel breathed a sign of relief to see her daughter in a wedding dress while everyone began to take some seats for the reason that they were there. Kim and Shego stood before the local magistrate that was going to perform the ceremony. They smiled at each other while he spoke. They both silently wished that he would hurry up too.

By the time the magistrate was finished with everything, everyone was ready to burst; well, everyone that was for the wedding anyway. Kim threw herself into Shego’s arms for their first kiss as a married couple and they both made sure it was a deep kiss. Their little brothers then did something that was probably inappropriate to do at a wedding, they began whistling, hooting, and hollering, instead of regular cheering. Jason and Nana Possible turned their heads in pure disgust at the sight of two females being together.

Todd crawled out of his chair and ran over to his guardians. He hugged them around the legs, which got their attention. They broke the kiss to look down at him and Kim picked him up. He hugged her and then turned to hug Shego. They both hugged him back at the same time.

“This is too wonderful,” Isabel commented. She was fighting back tears. She had not thought that she would be so overjoyed that she might actually cry, but she was carrying a handkerchief for just such an emergency.

“You’re so lucky,” Victoria said to her sister. She was misting up herself. She was happy for her only niece to have found love in her life and she was smart enough to hold on to it.

“I can’t believe our little Kimmie is married now,” Ann said while wiping her eyes. She was crying slightly. She did not expect to cry, but she was actually happy that Kim was married to Shego of all people.

James just put his arm around his wife and smiled. He was happy too, elated really. They both knew that Shego would take good care of Kim since she had been doing as such for a while. When they stopped and looked at things, they could see that Kim was doing quite well with Shego and she seemed to be thoroughly enjoying life. So, they were as happy for Kim as they could possibly be.

“Does this mean we can’t hit on Kim anymore?” Wallace asked Walter in a slightly curious tone.

“If she didn’t want to be hit on, she shouldn’t have worn that dress,” Walter answered as if that made any sense.

Wallace nodded in agreement with that and then he turned his attention to the Possible twins. “So, you two distract Shego and we’ll distract Kim,” he suggested.

“I like that plan,” Tim replied with a demonic smile.

“Me too,” Jim concurred with an equally devilish smirk.

The twins wasted no time in trying to put the plan into action, only to be yelled at by the newly married couple. The boys’ mothers also stepped in and scolded them for acting out. After reprimanding the twins for their behavior, everyone moved on to the reception, which was being held in a hall in the hotel.

Kim and Shego hit the dance floor and danced with each other and Todd since Kim was still holding him. It was their first time slow dancing and their first time dancing together around other people. After a few minutes, Todd worked his way out of Kim’s grip and left his guardians to enjoy their dance alone. He was going to go hunt for something to eat while they were distracted too.

The tables holding the food were a little too high for Todd to see everything. He stood on his tiptoes and tried to see what was being offered. He then looked around for Ron since he knew that the blonde young man would help him get food whether or not he had permission from his guardians to have certain things. Ron was busy dancing with Yori, though. Todd pouted.

“What’s up, little guy?” Walter asked as he and Wallace walked by Todd.

The child whimpered a bit, but silently told himself to calm down. He knew that Walter and Wallace were Shego’s brothers. They were all right and there was no need to be scared of them. They might even help, his brain told him.

“I can’t see the food,” Todd answered.

“Is that all? Here ya go.” Wallace grabbed Todd’s arms and lifted him up to see what was on the table.

Todd’s mouth practically fell to the floor when he saw the spread. There were all kinds of finger-foods laid out on the table. The closest food to him was shrimp and he wanted some of that.

“Can you get me shrimp?” Todd asked Walter since he was the twin with the free hands.

“No problem, little dude. Anything else?” Walter inquired as he started putting some shrimp in a napkin for the child.

Todd nodded and began naming things that he wanted. Walter had no problem packing all of those things on a plate of Todd, neither he nor his double bringing up the fact that it might be too much for the boy. Todd was practically grinning from ear to ear once he had his plate of foods. He silently decided that he liked his uncles.

The boy went to find a seat to enjoy his food and he watched the adults enjoy the party. Adults sure liked to dance, he thought because all of the couples were out on the dance floor. He smiled when he focused on his Kimmie and She-she. He did not totally understand what the big deal was about a wedding, but he knew that it was something extraordinary. So, he knew that he needed to be very happy for them and he was.

“How much longer do I have to stay here?” Jason asked Isabel. Yes, they were actually on the dance floor, slow dancing together.

“What do you mean?” Isabel countered.

“Do you know what kind of scandal this could bring to me?”

“Why can’t you just be happy for your daughter? Why do you have to be so selfish all the damn time? This is supposed to be the happiest day of her life and you’re worried about your shitty career. Be happy for your daughter.”

“Be happy that she’s gay? You do know that you’re never going to have biological grandchildren from her now, right?” he pointed out because he thought that was the reason Isabel was so happy. He was aware that she wanted grandchild and as far as he could tell, she would probably spoil any kids that Shego would have had rotten since Shego was clearly her favorite child.

“It’s not about grandchildren, dearest. It’s about our daughter finding someone that makes her happy, someone that’s going to take care of her and make sure she’s all right. And you should be happy for her.”

“She’s gay,” he said as if that was a reason to be angry with the fact that Shego was probably the happiest in life as she had ever been.

“I see. You’d rather that she had married that creepy Drakken fellow then?” Isabel asked, even though she knew the answer to that.

She was aware that her husband knew what happened with that guy considering how public the trial was. That blue bastard had tried to kill her little girl and her little girl’s love. It had upset her, of course, when she found out about it and something had to be done to make her feel better. So, now, whenever Drakken was in with the regular prison population, someone would come out of nowhere and beat him bloody and that was going to happen to him until the day Isabel died because she had not intention of calling off the people that she had going at him.

“Of course I didn’t want her to marry Drakken, but why can’t she just be normal?” Jason inquired.

“Because none of our children are normal,” Isabel pointed out. The most normal child they had was Mego in her opinion and he was purple, so it did not leave him much room to be too normal. Their children had actually always been slightly strange before they even got hit by that comet.

“Still,” he huffed. He was not willing to accept the fact that none of their children were normal. It seemed that just the ones Isabel took a special interest in were not normal, namely Shego and the twins.

Jason glanced over at Shego. She was still dancing with Kim and it was easy to see that she was close to bubbling over with joy, even though she was trying so hard to contain herself. He shook his head, not only was she a lesbian, but she was also with someone younger than she was, seven years younger. She was practically cradle robbing too. It was shameful in his opinion.

Shego would have cared less than a damn if she knew what her father thought. The only person that mattered at the moment was Kim, her princess. She was ready to focus her energy on Kim all day long, but then Todd came out of nowhere. He tugged on one of their dresses; he could not tell whose it was, but it happened to actually be Kim’s gown. They both glanced down at him and they knew that look. It was a look that they dreaded.

“My tummy hurts,” Todd informed them.

“Damn it,” Shego groaned.

“Where’s the bathroom?” Kim asked in a panic because anytime Todd told them his stomach hurt it meant that they had about a minute to get him to a bathroom or there was going to be a horrible mess.

“That way.” Shego pointed to the far end of the hall.

“Hold it in, Smiles,” Kim begged as she grabbed him and dashed toward the bathroom, having to be careful and not trip over her dress.

“What’s going on?” Ann wondered out loud as she watched Kim hurry past her with Todd in her arms.

“Todd must’ve had too much to eat,” Monique answered since she was close enough to the doctors to hear the question. She was dancing with Felix; hey, he never let the wheelchair stop him from doing things.

“Too much to eat?” James echoed in a puzzled tone.

“Todd has a habit of wanting to try any food that he sees when he eats out, but he doesn’t seem to realize that some foods just don’t mix well, especially if they tasted good on the way down,” Felix replied.

“Usually Kim or Shego watch him pretty carefully to make sure that doesn’t happen, but you know, you can’t watch a five or six-year-old all the time,” Monique commented.

“That’s true,” Ann concurred. She knew a lot about having to watch out for hyperactive children, after all.

When Kim returned with Todd and no mess on either of them, everyone suddenly wanted to toast to the wedding. She wondered if a champagne fairy had gone around when she was gone because everyone did suddenly have a glass of champagne and that was why they were all ready to toast to the event. No one had stopped what they were doing for the toasts, though.

“Do we have to go through all of this sentimental bullshit?” Shego asked since everyone seemed to want to say something.

“Let them have their moment,” Kim replied while walking back over to her spouse. Oh, that word sounded nice, she silently noted as the thought floated through her mind. She had a spouse. She suddenly began grinning.

“Dare I ask what’s with the expression?” the pale woman inquired as she handed Kim a fluke of champagne, so she could be a part of all the toasts too.

Shego also had a cup of apple juice for Todd in case he wanted to join in, but she was not sure with the way his stomach was working. She gave him the cup anyway. He looked down at it, but he was not sure what it was for. He noticed everyone else had drinks, but they were not drinking from them, so he was going to wait.

“Nothing, just a nice thought in mind,” the redheaded hero answered.

“Okay, so who’s going first since everybody wants to say something all of sudden?” Shego asked the group.

“Oh, lemme do it!” Ron volunteered.

“Sure, we can get the stupidest one out of the way first,” Shego remarked.

“Oh, ha, ha, ha,” the blonde male said dryly. “K.P, we’ve been through a lot since kindergarten and it’s been a wild ride. I know we’re all grown up and everything, but I hope we keep on being best friends and I hope you don’t let this cranky woman drive you stark raving mad. Don’t let her put you in a doghouse either and I mean that literally. I wish you two luck because you’re sure as hell going to need it with each other,” he remarked with a loving grin.

“Here, here,” Shego’s little brothers all agreed.

“Glad we got that shit out of the way,” the green-skinned female muttered as everyone took a sip of champagne. “Does anyone have anything worthwhile to say? Something worth listening to?”

“Us!” the Wegos shouted.

“Oh, god, someone who’s not them,” Shego said quite seriously.

“Us!” the tweebs volunteered.

“Someone who’s not them,” Kim pled.

“Hey!” both sets of twins protested to being so disrespected, especially in front of so many people.

“Fine, go,” Shego sighed.

Neither set of twins disappointed when they offered up their toasts. They were better than what Ron offered until they started getting into having such hot sisters-in-law. Shego and Kim rolled their eyes, but they did drink to the toasts when their brothers were done acting like perverts. It was clear then that Ron had given the better mini-speech.

“Does anybody have a serious toast?” Shego inquired.

“Ours were serious!” the pair of twins argued.

“Okay, I got one,” Monique announced.

“All right, hit us with it, Mo,” Kim said.

“All right. I remember when Kim first told me and Ron about how she was Shego’s pet. We thought it was the most bizarre thing that we had ever heard and that says a lot for people that spend all of their free time with Kim. We thought that it was crazy and that Shego was just disrespecting Kim, but Kim never thought of it that way and Shego, you might not know it, but Kim had already fallen for you then. You managed to get her to get her act together, which was something no one else could. As crazy as it might seem, I guess you two really need each other and it’s great that you found each other. I wish you all the luck in your marriage and I hope it’s just as good, if not better than what you already have,” Monique said.

Everyone agreed with that and sipped their drinks. From then on, there were only nice, serious toasts. Yori added a few words in after Monique just wishing the couple the greatest happiness together. Felix said something similar, not being a man of many words, when he was on the spot anyway. Mego came next because he wanted the attention. Betty spoke up and had to reminisce about when she first heard Shego had a pet girl and how she watched the odd progression of the relationship. And despite the fact that she still considered Kim a brat, she hoped that they remained together for the rest of their lives because “the brat’s good for Shego.” Ann came up to bat when Betty was done.

“All right, I just want to say that everyone’s pretty much said everything, but I do want to let you know I hope you two are always happy together. I know it took me a while to accept this, but I can see you two enjoy being with each other and I hope you continue to take care and support each other. Be good to each other,” Ann said and everyone drank to that.

“I just want to tell you two to live it up and keep doing what you’re doing,” James added in and everyone drank to that.

Todd was out of juice by that time, so he did not get to drink to his grandfather’s words. He was unaware that he was supposed to sip things when it came to toasts and he had been taking swigs. He poked his She-she in the leg to get her attention.

“What’s wrong, gremlin?” Shego asked.

“Can I have some of yours?” Todd inquired, pointing to her drink. He did not want to be left out of the toast.


“I don’t gots anymore,” he informed her. Kim would have corrected his English, but Shego tended to let it go.

The green-skinned woman looked around. She leaned down to the boy and whispered to him to just take a sip. Todd nodded to show that he understood. He also knew that they were doing something bad because of the whisper, which he thought was funny. Usually, he did something bad with Kimmie.

“Shego, are you giving Smiley champagne?” Kim asked in sheer horror.

“What? What do you mean?” Shego replied while pulling the fluke from Todd’s lips. He swallowed his sip and decided that he did not like whatever it was his She-she was drinking. “I’m not doing anything,” Shego said to Kim with a much too innocent expression. “Come on, Smiles, let’s get you some more apple juice,” the pale woman said.

“Yeah, everybody get refills because you know I have to say something,” Isabel pointed out.

It was pretty much a given for Isabel to say something. Everyone did refill their drinks. Shego did get Todd some more apple juice, so he could take part in the toast. She and the child went back over to Kim and stood with her as Isabel started her toast.

“Shego, ever since you were little and getting into trouble with Betty, all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, which was why I let you get in trouble. From the moment I saw you with Kim, I could tell that there was magic there, even if you didn’t want anyone to know. I always had faith in you to put together a good life and I’m glad that you found Kim because she obviously helped you build a happy life. I’m glad she’s stuck with you because you’re obviously stubborn like a mule, closed off, and let’s not forget hardheaded, but she knew that you two were made for each other and she never gave up on you. I hope you two always fight for each other and make sure that you make each other happy. You two should take good care of each other and your little son. And now, I want you to know, I’m expecting more grandkids,” Isabel announced with a smile.

“Hear that boys,” Shego called to her brothers.

“I think she means from you,” Mego commented.

“The hell she does,” Shego scoffed.

“I actually mean from all of you,” Isabel said and her sons all coughed, their champagne went down the wrong way. Shego rolled her eyes.

The party went on. Everyone ate lunch and the pair of twins started getting antsy. They wanted to know when it was safe to leave because they wanted to go and hit the beach. They wanted to run into some hot, bikini-clad babes while they still had time. Shego waved her brothers off and told them to get out of her face, which they took as a sign to leave. The Possible twins followed them out.

“Beach?” Todd echoed and he turned to look at his Kimmie with a hopeful expression in his jade colored eyes.

“You want to go to the beach?” Kim asked the boy and he nodded. She turned to Shego. “You want to go to the beach?” she asked with a smirk.

Shego smiled; it would be great to see her wife in a bathing suit. “Fine, we’ll go to the beach. Got to do something with Smiley before we send him back to that prison called school, right?” she teased the boy and rubbed his head. Isabel then walked over.

“You let your brothers leave to go chase girls on the beach?” Isabel asked Shego in disbelief.

“As long as they’re not chasing my girl, they can run off a cliff for all I care,” Shego replied.

Isabel shook her head. “I just hope they chase different girls,” she commented.

“I wouldn’t bet on it with the way Wally acts,” the moss-hued female remarked.

“So, what’s set for you two after this is done?” Isabel asked curiously.

“Well, we have to get Smiley back home tomorrow, so he doesn’t miss class,” Shego answered.

“Oh, class. What grade are you in, Smiley?” Isabel inquired, looking down at the child.

“One,” he replied.

“Oh, first grade. You like school?”

He shook his head. Isabel had expected that answer, even though she thought that little kids tended to enjoy school more than big kids. She wondered why Todd had a problem with school.

“Tell your grandma about your big project,” Kim encouraged Todd, hoping to get him more comfortable with the idea of speaking with Isabel.

“Project?” Isabel echoed in a curious tone.

“I had to make a collage,” he answered. “Kimmie helped me last weekend and I gotta presents it on Monday. Tell the class about the animals on the paper,” he explained.

“You like animals, huh? Are you going to be a herpetologist like Kimmie when you get bigger?” Isabel asked.

“The hell he is. I’m not putting up with any more reptiles or amphibians wandering around the house like they own the place,” Shego declared. Kim still had the bad habit of bringing her work home with her much of the time.

“So, when are you two going to go on your honeymoon if you have to take him home?” Isabel asked.

“We’re going to right after we take him home,” Shego replied.

“Well, where?”

“It’s a surprise for Princess,” Shego answered.

“Surprise for me,” Kim said with a grin on her face. She obviously liked the idea of getting a surprise honeymoon. Shego smiled just because of Kim’s expression.

Isabel only laughed a bit. At least they had everything planned out. She wished them well and she did hope that somewhere along the line they decided to extend their family. She liked the idea of being a grandmother, whether the kids were biologically related or not, and she wanted Todd to understand while he was around.

Everyone did eventually start leaving the reception to go do their own thing since they were on an island paradise and everything. Kim and Shego did go change out their dresses and into some bathing suits. Shego had on a green and black one piece while Kim threw on a pink bikini with a scarlet sarong around her waist. Todd had on black trunks and he went wild when he hit the sand, running and doing cartwheels a few feet away from his guardians, but the distance was steadily growing.

“We have got to do something about his energy level,” Shego said as she parked herself right in a lounge chair and set herself up for some sunbathing.

“Why? I love his enthusiasm. I’ll watch him,” Kim replied and she kissed Shego before chasing after Todd.

“Did everyone have the same idea?” Ann asked, speaking to Shego as she set up next to the pale woman.

“Hey, fun, sun, sand, who doesn’t get this idea?” Shego replied with a bit of a shrug. “Where’s the hubby?” she inquired while looking around for James.

“He’s chasing Kim and Smiley, looking to have some fun with his daughter and grandson. I can’t believe you two have a part-time son.”

“Would have a fulltime son if his parents weren’t loaded. The way they neglect the kid is just unbelievable. It’s good that you’ve all accepted the little booger. He needs that,” Shego commented.

Ann nodded and thought about Shego for a second. It was like Isabel always told her, she silently noted. There was much more to Shego than she ever let show and that was practically flashed on a billboard with the way she spoke about Todd. It was probably a great thing that she found Kim all of those years ago, maybe the best thing for both of them. It would seem that they brought out the best in each other somehow. She hoped that things would always be that way.

“Oh, and just to let you know, Isabel isn’t the only one waiting for more grandchildren,” Ann commented and Shego practically choked on air. Ann laughed while Shego silently wondered what the hell was up with everyone wanting grandchildren.

“Try to get to know the one you have before asking for more,” the pale woman remarked after she regained her composure.

“Trust me, we all will, but it’s just a heads-up,” the doctor replied with a teasing smile as she settled into her lounge chair. Shego did not respond, even though she did not like allowing the neurosurgeon to have the last word.

Next time: the honeymoon.

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