One in a Billion

Reason Fifteen

Incorrect data


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TITLE: Incorrect data

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters or the original premise behind this saga. I also don’t own the Teen Titans.

SUMMARY: AU. Sequel to The Gods Must Be Laughing. Shego and Kim are now trying to be a regular couple and do the things that they see their friends doing, like get married and have kids.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 5382

Don’t let me fail you when you need me so desperately. I’d never be able to forgive myself.

Kim sighed. All of her friends were having babies now and she was not sure if she was going to be with them in that. She was happy for them, of course. But, it also made her feel like the odd man out again. She supposed that she should be used to it, but she did not want to be left out of the current trend that was happening amongst their little clique.

Yori was now due in a couple of months. Felix was joking that Ron and Yori were being blasphemous because the doctor was telling that they might have the baby on Christmas; Ron commented that Felix was the last person that call someone blasphemous. Yori hoped that she did not go into labor on Christmas because she liked celebrating the holiday, especially with her husband.

Kim went out with Yori and Monique when they went shopping for baby clothes and things that Yori felt that she needed that had not been supplied for her in her baby shower. The ninja had hardly noticed what she got for the shower anyway because her sister had made the flight to Go City for the little party and that visit got Yori’s complete attention for the weekend. Yori especially liked that her big sister gushed over her and her condition.

The redhead felt just a little awkward when she was out with her two female friends while they were picking stuff out for babies because she was the only one not picking things out. She was starting to think that her time with Felix had not worked. Maybe there was something wrong with her, she considered. Obviously there was nothing wrong with Felix since Monique was pregnant.

“Pumpkin, are you going to get off of the couch sometime soon?” Shego inquired, sounding somewhere in between concerned and annoyed. The question came out because her petite lover had been lying on the sofa all day, eating cookies to make matters worse. She looked so pathetic.

“No,” the redhead grumbled.

“Why not? Why don’t you go hang out with your friends?” Shego suggested. There had to be something that would get the younger female off of the couch, she thought.

“I don’t want to hang out with my friends,” she replied in mumble while hugging a throw pillow to her chest.

Shego sighed and rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine. Then why the hell didn’t you go to work?” she asked.

“I didn’t want to,” Kim muttered again while turning her back to her spouse and curling into the sofa back. She had missed work for the first time without a mission being involved and she really did not care. She did not want to leave the house anymore. She did not want to get off of the sofa ever again.

“What’s wrong, Princess?” Shego inquired while sitting down on the couch and reaching out to softly caress her wife’s thigh. She now sounded totally concerned because she did not understand her mate’s behavior.


“Yeah, I’ll believe that tomorrow. Right now, I’m believing that there’s something wrong and you’re going to tell me what it is. So, start spilling the beans, cupcake,” Shego ordered in a gentle tone to get the redhead to talk.

Kim pouted a bit, but she easily caved in. She turned around and crawled over to her spouse. She lay down in Shego’s lap and curled up into the pale woman’s abdomen. Shego looked down at her petite wife and then began caressing Kim’s head for her while wondering what it was that was making Kim seem so depressed.

“I think I’m…well, I think something’s wrong with me,” the hero reported in a sorrowful tone.

“Something’s wrong with you?” Shego echoed. Boy, that covered a lot of ground considering some of the hobbies her mate had. “What kind of something is wrong with you?” she inquired in a soft tone. Maybe now was not the time to tease her lover, she considered, which was why she went with the tender tone and easy question.

“How come everyone is having a baby but me? I’m such a failure! I can’t do anything right,” the redhead lamented.

Shego was surprised by those words. She was rather unaccustomed to dealing with an insecure monster; at least unconfident when it came to things other than Shego anyway. She did not think about that. She knew what she was going to say.

“Princess, you’re the woman that can do anything, first of all—” Shego said and her wife cut her off.

“Except get pregnant,” the olive-eyed scientist sniffled.

“Monster, it’s only been a few weeks. You don’t know if you’re pregnant or not. I bet you are. I bet you’re growing our very own bump this very moment,” Shego commented while reaching down to rub her spouse’s belly.

“I’m not. I know I’m not. We’re never going to have a baby.”

“Don’t talk like that,” the pale woman said while shifting Kim in her arms, so now she was cradling her petite lover. She then nuzzled her face into the younger female’s neck, hoping that the intimate contact would help set Kim at ease.

“We’re not,” Kim mumbled.

“We are. We’re going to have a baby, a little boy or girl. We’re going to love the kid just as much as we love Smiles and take care of the kid just like we do with the gremlin. So, stop being down about it. We’re going to have this baby. Okay?” the green-skinned woman said soundly and her wife only made a noise, which she did not know if it was an agreement or not. “Hey, you speak English in this house and repeat after me, we’re going to have this baby,” Shego stated firmly.

“We’re going to have this baby,” the younger woman muttered.

“Say it like you mean. We’re going to have this baby,” Shego said in a strong tone.

“We’re going to have this baby,” Kim said again, a bit stronger than before.


“We’re going to have this baby.”

“One more time.”

“We’re going to have this baby.”

“Because we are. We’re going to have a baby and go through all of the stuff that other parents go through. We’re going to raise a wonderful kid that knows how to kick ass and has common sense…and maybe a little insanity since you’re around,” Shego teased.

Kim chuckled just a little bit. Okay, if Shego believed that they were going to have a baby, she could believe again too. They were going to have a baby and they would have a family. Todd would get to be a big brother and they would get to be mothers. It would be perfect, she silently promised herself.

Shego continued to hold her distressed imp, occasionally snuggling into Kim’s neck to keep her calm. She was confident that they were going to have the baby, but she figured that they just had to give it some time, which was odd for her since she was typically impatient. Still, she had found the one thing that she could wait for because she felt beyond confident that they were going to get what they wanted.

(New day)

Kim had gotten out of her bit of sulking and was back to her usual energetic self. In the back of her mind, she still considered that she probably was not pregnant. She did not feel any different and it had been over a month. She was starting to think that she might have to do it again with Felix and it was not something that she was looking forward to. It was not even something she was sure Shego and Monique would allow to occur a second time. The first time was probably their only chance and she had managed to blow it.

She doubted that there was a way, but she was going to try to make it up to Shego. She guessed that supplying her beloved with a great set of Christmas gifts would be the way to start; Christmas was just over a month away. She had plenty of money for the holiday season now.

She had been putting her whole check away in the bank since before summer began. She put half of her money away for Todd and the other half was supposed to go for the new baby, the one she was certain that they were not having. She went to the mall and found herself unable to spend that money. Instead, she had to rush home because she was overcome with emotion.

It was not fair! All she and Shego wanted was a family of their own. Yes, they had Todd, but they had to share him. They wanted a child all their own, but it would seem that they were not going to get one. It just was not fair, she silently lamented.

Kim made it home and fell back against the front door. She wrapped her arms around herself while sliding pathetically to the floor. Why did it hurt so much, she wondered. Why was there such a sharp agony going through her for something that she did not even have, something that she never had? It was not like she lost the baby or something like that. She just never had one.

“Princess?” Shego said as she poked her head out of the kitchen, which was down the hall. She spotted her fallen lover on the floor before Kim had a chance to scurry to her feet and pretend that everything was all right. “Kimmie, what’s wrong?” the pale woman inquired in a concerned tone as she exited the kitchen.

“Oh, Shego. I didn’t know you were home already,” the redhead said, hoping that she was speaking in her usual tone. She sounded rather down and out, though.

“It’s seven,” Shego pointed out. Of course she would be home by then or she would have called Kim to say otherwise.

“Is it?” Kim had obviously not been paying attention to the time for the day and it did not help matters that she had had a mission that day.

The super-powered woman sighed and sat down next to her spouse. She was not surprised by how depressed Kim seemed. The redhead had only seemed genuinely joyful lately when Todd was around. She had been too adorable with their son on Halloween, dressing up as Starfire from Teen Titans while he was dressed as Robin; he loved that cartoon and the comic books. And then there had been a few days ago when they went to Middleton for Thanksgiving where they got to get glared at by Kim’s grandmother and Todd got to blow things up with the tweebs and his grandfather.

Thanksgiving had actually been a strange thing because Shego had expected to get screamed on by her mother for having the nerve to go to the Possible house for Thanksgiving when she never dared go to the Gooding home no matter the holiday, but that had not happened. Her mother postponed the Gooding holiday celebration for two days, giving Shego, Kim, and Todd time to hang out with the Possible family, but still make it to the Gooding home because Isabel wanted to see the little family. They had made it and Isabel seemed to practically float on air when they came around, which of course, got on her daughter’s nerves.

“Princess, I’ve got something for you,” Shego said while putting her arm around the smaller female.

“Yeah?” Kim asked in a low voice. “What?”

Shego went into her pocket and pulled out a box that Kim was only vaguely familiar with. To make matters worse, the only emotion that she could associate with the item was sheer panic and terror. She looked at her green-skinned wife as if the older woman had just given her a gun to go shoot herself.

“Shego,” Kim said in a trembling voice.

“You’ve been worrying about things and all this nonsense, but I think you missed something,” the pale woman commented, smirking slightly because of her pun.

“I missed something?” Kim echoed.

“Yeah, you definitely missed something,” Shego replied.

“No…I’ve always been kind of irregular. It comes whenever it feels like it,” the redhead pointed out, getting the pun now.

“Kimmie, it’s been well over a month. No one is that irregular. Go and see,” Shego gently urged her younger lover.

“But—” Kim tried to argue, but she was cut off.

“Just go and see. I want to know and I know you want to know.”

Kim sighed. She did want to know. She took the box, which was a pregnancy test, and marched upstairs toward the bathroom, as if she forgot that they had a bathroom on the ground floor too. Shego went up after her, but made sure to go slow. She wanted to give Kim some space and time to herself. She did park herself outside of the bathroom door, which was closed and stayed that way for over ten minutes.

Shego was anxious. She had experienced anxiety a few times in her life, mostly involving situations with Kim or her mother. There was a good anxiety, expectation, and a bad anxiety, fear. She was not sure which one she was experiencing at the moment, but she was pretty sure that it was a mixture of both because she had no clue which way things were going to go.

She found herself crossing her fingers, even though she never understood the gesture completely. She knew that some people did it for luck and others did it to jinx people and others did it just so they did not have to keep their word. It seemed like such a versatile gesture, but right now all she wanted was for it to help grant her spouse peace of mind.

The door to the bathroom cracked open slowly, which drew Shego out of her thoughts. She turned her attention to the small opening, wondering its meaning. Was she meant to enter or was her wife going to come out? She peered into the void, seeing the bathroom as a narrow world because of it.

“Kimmie?” Shego called, but she did not get an answer. “I’m going to come in, okay?” she informed the redhead.

The older woman pushed the door open and saw Kim on the floor with her back again their circular bathtub. The hero had her head down, but it was clear that she was weeping. Shego’s heart felt like it sank into her feet while it seemed her stomach was trying to relieve itself of a meal she had not even eaten yet.

Shego had to force herself to approach Kim, actually silently ordering her feet to move when they did not do so automatically. She sat down next to Kim and put her arms around the crying female. The redhead moved to where she was weeping on her lover.

“It’s all right, Kim. It’s all right. We can…always try again,” Shego said through gritted teeth. She did not even want to think about Felix doing what he and Kim did again. She did not like the idea of someone else touching her wife and she knew that Monique did not like the idea of Felix sleeping with Kim anyway.

Kim muttered something, speaking into Shego’s collar bone. It did not sound like she was speaking English; a bad habit of hers lately in Shego’s opinion. There was always the chance that Kim was not speaking English, but it was not very likely; the petite hero could speak several languages, after all. It was irksome to Shego, even though she spoke more than one language herself; it was part of the baggage that came along with being her mother’s child and as well traveled as she was.

“It’s okay, Pumpkin. It’s really okay,” Shego said as reassuringly as possible. She rubbed her lover’s back and held her as if it was the only thing that she knew how to do in life.

Kim sniffled and looked up at her spouse since it was clear that speaking into Shego’s skin was not getting her thoughts across. Shego reached up a hand to wipe away for her love’s tears. Kim then did something that surprised Shego; she smiled.

“Why are you smiling?” the green-skinned female inquired in a confused tone.

The redhead sniffled some more. “No more tries,” she replied.

“Huh?” Shego was not following.

“We don’t have to try again.”

Shego shook her head. She still was not following. Why did they not have to try again? Was Kim giving up? If that was the case, what was she smiling about?

“I’m pregnant, honey!” Kim screamed with joy as she threw her arms around her spouse and embraced her tightly.

“Wait, what?” Shego inquired, still confused out of her mind. She had not expected that response, which was why she was so puzzled.

“I’m pregnant!” Kim declared again and she began crying again, but now Shego knew that they were tears of joy.

Shego was a little choked up herself. Kim was pregnant? They were going to have their own family. They were going to get to be fulltime parents. She felt…she did not even know what she felt like. It was almost as if she was ready to jump out of her skin because of her elation. She embraced her wife tightly and tried her best to not join Kim in bawling her eyes out. She did lean down and place a gentle kiss to Kim’s lips to express her happiness with their circumstances.

(New day)

Kim’s pregnancy was confirmed by their doctor and the first thing that she wanted to do was tell her parents. Shego had to stop her because she had learned from what happened earlier in the year. She proposed that they do a conference call, having Kim’s parents and her mother on the line at the same time to all hear the news at the same time. Kim thought that was a great idea, especially since she did not want to see her spouse get into trouble.

“Okay, everybody there?” Kim asked over the speakerphone to make sure all three parents were there.

“Yes, Kimmie, we’re here,” Ann replied.

“I’m here too,” Isabel affirmed.

“Good. Okay.” Kim took a deep breath and then she turned to Shego, who was sitting right next to her on the couch. “Do you want to tell them or should I? Or maybe we can do it together,” the redhead proposed.

“No, no, no. You go ahead and tell me. I just want it on the record that I am here,” Shego announced, which was directed toward her mother. She just wanted to make sure that demon woman stayed wherever the hell she was located and she did not have to get yelled at again.

“We already know that, firefly,” Isabel commented, trying her best not to laugh. She was barely succeeding, but her tone let her daughter know that she wanted to laugh.

Shego sucked her teeth. “Just shut up and listen,” she replied with as much attitude as she could muster while declaring in her mind that she was not afraid of her mother.

“Don’t get fresh, firefly. I’ve got spare time,” Isabel informed her daughter. The green-skinned woman only made a face, which she knew was pointless since her mother could not see her indignation.

“Isabel, scare Shego some other time, so we can get the news,” Ann suggested.

“I’m not scared of her!” Shego hollered into the speaker. What the hell?! Who thought she was afraid of that blasted old woman! She was not afraid of anything and if Isabel was there right now, she swore that she would punch the older female right in the mouth to prove how brave she was.

“What about if I tell you I’m outside your door right now?” Isabel inquired.

Shego turned her attention to the front door, which could be seen from the living room. She was at the most ninety-five percent sure that her mother was not outside right now. It was the minor five percent chance that had her heart in her throat, though. What if that demon was out there right now, lurking like a gypsy curse? She would have to deal with her again and then her thoughts were broken as Kim began laughing.

“Shut up and tell them the news,” Shego said to her spouse since she knew why Kim was laughing. The panicked look in Shego’s emerald eyes was priceless as she watched the door like an alert sentry at a fort.

“Okay, okay, okay. Ladies and gentleman, we’re going to have a baby!” Kim practically cheered into the phone.

“A baby?” all three parents echoed.

“Yes, a baby,” Kim repeated. She was wearing a rather proud grin, even though Shego was the only person that could see and she had been seeing it ever since Kim took the pregnancy test a few days ago.

“When you say ‘a baby’ what do you mean?” James inquired.

“What the hell? She means a baby. Kimmie is pregnant,” Shego replied in a bit of an irked tone. It was like their parents were acting like they did not know what a baby was.

There was a moment of silence. The Possibles dared wonder if there was something that they did not know about Shego while Isabel wondered how Kim got pregnant. It would seem that all three of them found the safe question to get their answers.

“Who’s the father?” the parents asked.

“There is no father,” Shego answered as if that was biologically possible.

“No father?” James echoed in a puzzled voice.

“What we mean is who donated sperm to impregnate Kim? One of your brothers?” Ann offered to clean up the inquiry and hopefully get a response.

“What the hell does it matter? We’re having a baby. Now, you guys can either be happy or I can hang up the fucking phone and go start dinner,” Shego informed them.

“Firefly, we are happy, of course,” Isabel said. They were happy over Todd, so why would they not be happy in hearing that they were going to have another grandchild soon? It was just curiosity that made them ask about the father. They were all in uncharted waters, after all.

“You don’t sound happy. We don’t need this shit, you know,” the super-powered woman huffed.

“Sweetheart, calm down,” Kim said.

“No, fuck that. We call to share joyous news with them and they ask some old bullshit question like that. Fuck that,” Shego declared.

It was clear from the sound in Shego’s voice to the parents that they had accidentally broached a very sensitive subject with the green-skinned woman. Kim was pregnant and it was evident that Shego had not been the one that put her in such a way. The couple more than likely did not want to focus on the conception, but the condition itself, which was the truth of the matter. It still was an odd thing.

“What is she getting mad about?” James accidentally asked into the phone.

Shego frowned, growing angrier by the second. She tore herself from the sofa because she knew that if she sat there a little longer, she would have cursed all of their parents out, which would not do anyone any good. Kim sighed because everything was going perfectly wrong.

“We’ll call you guys back,” Kim informed the parents and she disconnected the call to go after her spouse. “Sweetie, they didn’t mean anything by it,” she called up the stairs because Shego had retreated to the second floor.

“Like hell they didn’t!” Shego screamed from their bedroom.

The redhead trotted up to their bedroom and joined Shego on their bed. She crawled over to the raven-haired officer and pressed herself against the older woman. Shego looked down at her lover and sighed while wrapping her arms around Kim.

“Look, Shego, you know they didn’t mean anything disrespectful by the question,” Kim said.

“Why couldn’t they just be happy for us? I mean, we’re going to have a baby.” Shego paused to her hand on Kim’s abdomen. “So, why couldn’t they just be happy? What the hell does it matter who donated what? This is our baby, yours and mine. So, why couldn’t they just be happy?” she wondered out loud.

“I guess it’s only natural to wonder about a baby’s father…” Kim replied as an attempt to justify their parents’ question and ease her spouse’s wounded spirit.

“Well, our baby doesn’t have a father. Our baby has two mothers and that’s that. What’s so hard to understand about that? We’re married and we’re going to have a baby. How hard is this fucking concept to follow?” Shego inquired.

They both felt like there was no “father” to their baby. It was their baby. They were both going to be raising the child as theirs like any married couple would do. They were both the baby’s parents and that was the end of it for them. They had decided before they even knew that the baby was there that was how things were going to be when they finally had a child.

“Harder than we think, I guess. Don’t let it get you so down. Yes, we’re having a baby and that’s all that should matter. Everything else is secondary information and you shouldn’t let it bother you since we’ve got a baby to worry about now,” the redhead pointed out while putting her hand on top of Shego’s.

“Yeah,” the green-skinned woman agreed in a low voice. They were going to have a baby and that was all that matter.

“I don’t understand what she got so bent out of shape for,” James said. He was speaking to his wife and Isabel, who had called them after the abrupt ending to their conference call with their daughters. “We just wanted to know who the father of the baby was. It’s not like the baby just showed up in Kim’s stomach,” he commented.

“I think we missed the point of the call,” Isabel replied.

“Right, instead of responding to the fact that they were having a baby together, we focused on what is biologically needed to produce a baby,” Ann concurred.

“And gave off the idea that we weren’t as happy as we really are,” Isabel added.

“But, how could that happen from just wanting to know who the father is?” James asked. He did not understand the big deal. All babies had fathers and he wanted to know who had created their grandchild with Kim. It seemed logical enough to him.

“Because to them, there isn’t a father. It’s like asking them which one of them is Smiley’s father,” Isabel reasoned and Ann nodded in agreement, which was all right because James was standing next to her and could see the gesture.

“How isn’t there a father? If there wasn’t a father, Kimmie couldn’t be carrying a baby,” he pointed out.

“Stop thinking scientifically and think in terms of a family,” Ann instructed her husband, knowing full well that it was almost impossible for him to not think scientifically. He was a man that could not make boil water without having to explain the reaction to whoever was around, which was mostly her now since the twins were away at school.

“What? A baby has to have a father,” James insisted.

“You might be at this a while,” Isabel remarked, speaking to Ann.

“Tell me about it,” the redhead sighed. “James, hon, you really just to have to think about this one like this; Shego is the father,” she said, hoping that would give him an idea of what was going on.

“How is Shego the father? She’s a woman,” he replied.

“Should I call back later?” Isabel joked.

“I’m going to make him make it through this, even if it kills him,” Ann riposted. “James, Kim and Shego are a married couple. They are having a baby that Kim is carrying. Since they’re married, it is their baby and as far as they’re concerned, which means as far as we’re concerned, there is no male parent.”

James made a face. “How is that possible? Kim couldn’t have impregnated herself,” he pointed out.

“James,” Ann said in a stern voice.

“I get what you’re saying. Kim and Shego are the baby’s parents, like they’re Smiley’s parents, but that still doesn’t explain who the baby’s father is,” he explained his position on the matter. He also did not understand why it was offensive to Shego to ask such a thing.

“There is no father,” the neurosurgeon said.

“Once again—”

“James, this is not a biology project. This is our daughter’s baby that she is having with her spouse. The baby has two parents, Kim and Shego. Someone that they’re probably not going to tell us about donated sperm more than likely to get Kim pregnant, but that’s irrelevant to the discussion. The whole point of the matter is that we were supposed to be happy that they’re having a baby,” Ann stated.

“But, we are happy,” he countered. He was overjoyed that they were going to have another grandchild. If the child turned out anything like Todd, he would be even happier. He might finally get someone to follow in his footsteps, even though there was still a possibility that the twins might do that; at least they were engineering majors.

“We didn’t show them that,” Isabel said, hopping back into the discussion.

“The first words out of our mouths shouldn’t have had anything to do with who the father was,” Ann said. She could not believe all three of them had made the same mistake.

“Hell, from what I can tell, we probably shouldn’t bring that subject up again at all,” Isabel commented.

“Agreed,” Ann said.

“Now we have to hope that they do call us back,” Isabel pointed out.

“Yeah,” the doctors concurred with sighed. They were not sure if they were going to get a second call from the way that Shego had sounded.

Kim and Shego were going to try it one more time. It had taken a lot of coaxing from the slender hero to get Shego to agree to call their parents back, but the pale woman agreed in the end. It was the only way to get Kim to stop throwing a tantrum, rolling around on the kitchen floor as if she had lost her mind as far as Shego was concerned.

“Hi, everybody there?” Kim asked.

“Yeah,” the doctors Possible answered.

“Yes,” Isabel chimed in.

“Okay, well, I guess I already told you the news and everything, so there’s nothing new to report,” the olive-eyed scientist commented with a bit of an awkward laugh.

“Yes, well, first, we’d like to apologize for earlier,” Ann informed the young couple.

“Yes, we didn’t mean anything by it,” James added.

“It was rather insensitive of us and it’s not even important information,” Isabel finished the apology.

“Yeah, it was insensitive,” Shego snorted.

“How far along are you?” Ann inquired.

“When are you due?” Isabel asked at the same time, so their questions kind of got muddled together.

“What are you having?” James inquired.

“So far, we’re having a bump. You’re a little ahead of us, Dad,” Kim replied with a little bit of a laugh.

“So you mean I’m going to have to wait for a long time before I get to launch any rockets off with this kid?” he asked, almost as if he was disappointed.

Kim laughed again. “Yeah, Dad, we’re a long way from that happening.”

From there on, they all had a nice, long pleasant conversation. It did eventually turn into just Kim and Shego getting long lists of “dos” and “don’ts” about having not just a baby, but when the kid grew up. It was exhausting for the future parents, but they figured in the long run, they were actually going to appreciate the information.

Next time: Todd finds out about things and he doesn’t seem too thrilled about this whole “having a baby” thing.

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