On a Short Leash

Dilemma Twenty-Nine

Better off dead


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TITLE: Better off dead

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters and I don’t own this premise.

SUMMARY: AU. This is the sequel to Walking the Line. Kim and Shego look to renew their unorthodox relationship.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Shego/Drakken, Other, Friendship, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

NOTE: Two chapters to go. Thanks once again to everyone that reviewed.

Words: 5090

Shego caressing her pet.

Son of a bitch! That’s not even strong enough. Fucking hell! No, still doesn’t cover it. Shit, damn, motherfucking bitch-ass bastard! No, still not doing. Unbe-fucking-lievable!

Shego stared down at the ring that Drakken had given her a few hours ago; it was still in its box and it did not look like she had any plans to open the container. It was the same ring from Valentine’s Day, except he had finally gotten it adjusted. It should fit her ring finger now. She had not tried it on yet and she was not making any moves to do so.

Drakken had not pressured her to try the ring on when he had given it to her, mostly because he was in a rush. He had a project that he needed to get back to and, apparently, he was eager to return to his work. She was glad that he did not have time for her to try it on right in front of him, but she bet that he would call or even come by to know if it fit or not. She was going to have to put it on sooner or later. She continued to stare down at the little piece of jewelry.

Nothing so small should mean so much, the pale woman thought. Nothing with such little weight should have such impact; it was not like a ring was a meteor, but it certainly seemed that way. It appeared so innocent, just a simple circle. It was a lie; there was nothing innocent about it and it should not look that way, in her opinion anyway. It was nothing more than a lie.

“What’s that you got there?” Kim asked as she seemed to appear out of nowhere. It was just that her mistress had not been paying her any mind at all, which she did not like, of course, especially since she had been being ignored all day in her opinion.

“Where the hell did you come from?” Shego demanded to know while jumping because her pet had startled her.

“The loft,” the redhead answered in a “duh” type of voice. Where else was she going to come from? It was not like she could appear out of thin air, even though she thought that it would be cool if she could. Her master was asking some very strange questions in her opinion.

“Well, make some fucking noise next time,” the green-skinned female barked, earning an odd look from the slender adventurer. Since when did either of them make noise while walking around, Kim wondered.

“So, what’s that?” the olive-eyed girl asked in a very curious tone, referring to the little case in her master’s hands.

“None of your fucking business,” the pale woman replied while hiding the box in her hands, even though her little brat had already seen it. If only she could erase the monster’s memory, she thought.

“Let me see!” Kim requested with an enthusiastic grin.

“No,” the elder woman answered bluntly.

“Come on!” the redhead whined.


“Why not?” Kim wailed.

“Because it’s none of your business.”

“Let me see,” the eager hero requested again while reaching for the box.

Shego grunted and held off her curious and rather playful pet; she hated that the girl always had so much energy and swore everything was a joke in someway. Kim was not put off and continued to grab for the small case that her mistress was holding. They rolled around on the sofa for a while until Shego accidentally dropped the box to grab her mischievous pet with both hands. Kim chuckled; apparently, she was having a really good time. She managed to get out of her mistress’ hold rather quickly.

“I got it!” the jovial redhead called as she leaped off of the couch to go for the disregarded package.

“No, you don’t,” the elder woman declared and she caught her pet’s legs. Kim slammed into the carpeted floor.

“Ow!” the pet coughed as her chest hit the carpet.

“Little brat,” the green-skinned female commented as she slowly rose off of the sofa, thinking that she had her monster. She had forgotten that her pet was not the average girl for a moment and that was about to cost her.

Kim snickered and grabbed her owner’s leg, tripping the older woman. Shego yelped as she went down and the slim adventurer crawled over to the box as quickly as she could. She smiled in triumph as she picked up the prize and tried to stand up.

“Put it down!” Shego ordered and she tackled her pet like they were playing professional football as the girl was going to open the case.

Kim grunted as she was hit around the waist, dropping the jewelry case as she fell. They landed on her box, completely crushing the cardboard fortress. Shego growled in anger, but Kim was laughing; it had been a while she was able to just play around with her owner and she was enjoying it. The pet eventually looked at her mistress’ face and realized that the officer was being very serious.

“Don’t touch it!” the emerald-eyed woman snarled.

Kim ceased smiling instantly. Why was the pale woman so worked up? She thought that they were fooling around, so she did not see why her master was so upset with her. She looked on the floor for where the box might have landed, planning to return it once she got up, so that her mistress would not longer be angry with her. She spotted the container very quickly.

The box was lying a few feet away from them. The case was open and its contents peacefully resting next to it. A ring. Her owner had gotten all fired up over a ring? She turned her attention back to her master and then it hit her like a knock out punch.

It was no longer lying there peacefully. That ring was like a virus now, marching into the hero’s system and murdering everything inside of her. It was as if she was a small country and that ring had just killed her whole population in one shot.

“You’re going to marry him,” Kim realized. It was an engagement ring and that was why her master was acting like it was highly classified information.

“Princess,” Shego said in a neutral tone, trying her best to make it seem like it was not such a big deal anymore.

“You’re actually going to marry him,” the redhead muttered, speaking more to herself than her owner. She could not believe it. The being known as Kim Possible felt like she had been ripped apart by a million wild horses; she felt defeated for the first time in her life.

Kim did not say anything further. She crawled out from under the older woman and stood up. Shego turned around as her pet climbed to her feet. The olive-eyed girl stared at her master in total disbelief. It was over. It was done. He had won. He was the winner. He was going to get to stay with her forever.

The thoroughly crushed hero did not say anything as she marched back to her loft, hiding the fact that she felt completely and soundly defeated. The green-skinned female watched her pet withdraw from the living room, but she did not know that the room was not the only place that Kim planned on leaving. The redhead retrieved her Kimmunicator from her area and grabbed her coat. She climbed back down and grabbed her sneakers.

“Princess, where are you going?” Shego demanded to know.

Kim did not answer; she just glanced at her master, hoping that the eternal, excruciating agony that she was now in did not show in her olive gaze. She did not have to answer that woman anymore; no, definitely not anymore. She marched to the door and opened it, Drakken was there. He was posed to knock. Kim laughed a little bit because of his always brilliant timing; it was a hollow, soulless noise that came from her throat.

“She’s all yours,” the slender hero informed him as she pushed by the doctor to leave what used to be her own personal Heaven and was now certainly her own personal Hell. It was like the place that she had been executed from the way that she felt.

“Pumpkin!” Shego called to the girl as she ran to the door. She practically flung Drakken out of the way as if he was worthless trash, but Kim was ready gone. “Damn it,” the green-skinned woman growled.

“Shego, what’s going on?” the sky-colored inventor inquired. He had just come to check on her and the ring and now he was being flung around for no reason.

“Nothing. Nothing at all,” Shego replied. Her little pest would come back, she told herself. After all, all of her stuff was still in the loft and she did not have any place to go. She needed Shego, so she would be back.

Kim stared at the building that held her mistress’ apartment for a moment. She had jumped out of an open window in the hall to make a very speedy getaway; most people would have considered it a stupid move since her master did live on the top floor, but that was nothing to her, of course. It was only the fourth floor, she had thought as she leaped to get away from that damned place. She then started down the street with no destination in mind.

It was cold and windy outside. Just her luck, she thought; some beginning of spring, she grumbled in her head. Well, now she had to figure out where she was going to go for the night at least. Yori and Ron were the first people that came to mind. She hoped that it was all right if she borrowed their sofa for the night. She called to find out.

“Hey, K.P. What’s up?” Ron asked.

“Place to say,” Kim requested.

“What do you need a place to stay for? You’ve got a home,” he pointed out. He knew that she did not own where she lived, but it was certainly home in his opinion if she started there for as long as she did.

“Not anymore,” she answered while snapping off the collar that was around her neck. She violently chucked it into the first trashcan that she came across. Screw being a pet to heartless bitch, she thought heatedly.

“No? Why not?” he asked, detecting some sorrow in his best friend’s voice, even though she was trying her best to hide the fact that she was wounded in her heart and soul.

“I’ll explain it some other time when I’m not so fucking pissed,” she answered.

Kim wanted to be more angry than hurt, but the reason that she was so upset was because she was so absolutely damaged. Her heart and spirit were critically injured, possibly beyond repair. She might always feel the way that she did, she considered; it was as if she had been split open and she was walking around with all of her internal organs hanging out for the world to see.

“Okay. Well, our door’s always open to you. Come on over. We’re having takeout from Mexippon,” the blonde informed her.

“The Mexican/Japanese restaurant?”

“You know it!” he cheered.

“Goodie,” she muttered sarcastically. “I’ll be there in like a half hour.”


They disconnected the call and Kim started to walk to Ron’s apartment. She tried not to think about her wounded pride, her bleeding ego, her dried up soul, and her extremely dead heart. If Shego wanted Drakken, fine; she could have him. She could have him and be driven mad by him or murder him. Whatever tickled her fancy, but Kim would no longer give a damn; well, that was what she told herself anyway.

It was not fair, Kim silently lamented as her eyes filled with tears. She was the one that made Shego happy. She was the one that understood the pale woman. She was the one willing to sacrifice anything for the raven-haired beauty. She was the one that the emerald-eyed female trusted completely. It was all her. So, why in the end did Drakken get the girl? Why!

That blue dolt was no kind of knight in shining armor. He was not some new-age sensitive guy or anything like that. He was not even the boy-next-door. He was nobody. He was nothing. Yet, he was the one that had won. He was the one that was going to get be with Shego always. He was the one that Shego chose. It hurt her just as much as it pissed her off, which hurt her more, which pissed her off more; it was just an unending cycle the more she thought about it.

Kim punched a building that she was going by. She punched it with all of her might because of her fury and anguish. Why, her mind and heart demanded to know and then she hit the building again, as if it was his face. The physical pain of hitting stone did not even register to her grieving mind.

Why not her, she wondered as tears flowed down her face like thin streams. Why was he better than she was? How could he possibly beat her? How, her mind demanded to know. She had done everything that should have made it her. So, why was it not her? She wanted reasons, but she dare not ask the one person that held the answers. She would never go back there, ever.

If Shego wanted him, then she could have him. He was all hers and she was all his. Kim told herself not to care; it would be easier to not care. It would not hurt if she just did not care. But, of course, she did care. She cared so much that she felt like she was going to throw up because she was the one that was rejected. Instead of throwing up, she continued to weep and she punched a few more buildings.

Kim lay on Ron’s sofa, staring at the ceiling in the dark. It was late and she should be sleeping, but she could not. More tears were quietly creeping down her face and her mind was still plagued with questions.

How could she pick Drakken? How could she agree to marry him? Did that woman just not know what that would do to her? She would have to be with him everyday. She would have to listen to him everyday, look at him everyday, sleep next to him every night, and not kill him through all of that. She would have to tell him her secrets, show him her tears, and cuddle him when the day went every way but right; she would have to depend on him emotionally.

“And she calls me stupid,” Kim muttered. Only a true idiot would voluntarily lean on Drakken for emotional support. He could not even figure out how his own emotions work, so he definitely would have no idea where to begin with someone like Shego.

Maybe Shego was right, the heartbroken hero considered. Maybe she was stupid for assuming that her mistress would be smart enough to choose her over the demanding, frigid moron. Maybe she was stupid for loving her mistress, but it was not like she had could help that. She loved who she loved; she could not tell her heart, soul, spirit, body, and mind to halt in loving Shego anymore than she could pull the moon from the sky. Apparently, she could not do everything.

Ron and Yori were worried about Kim. They had assumed that her nomadic days were behind her now that she figured out what she wanted to do with her life, but obviously not. They did not know what to think, but they both noticed how Kim appeared to be crying when she arrived at their door. They guessed that something happened with Shego, but Kim would not say if that was it. Kim had not said anything; she had not even muttered that she did not want to talk about it.

“Do you suppose Shego released Kim?” Yori asked Ron; they were lying in bed. They would have been sleeping hours ago if they were not so concerned for the redhead that was camped out on their couch. At least if she had said something, they might have been able to sleep, but now their minds were just going a mile a minute trying to figure out what was going on.

“I don’t know. She was missing a collar,” Ron replied.

The blonde had noticed Kim’s bare neck almost as fast as someone would spot a huge tattoo on his friend’s forehead. It seemed odd for her to not have on a collar; her neck just looked funny to him. Yeah, they had hit a new level of weirdness if Kim lacking a collar was something that stood out, he was very aware of that fact.

“I noticed that too,” Yori said.

“It’s weird, though. I mean, Kim’s never really had a problem Shego, except for that one time she kissed her and the time Shego freaked out about Kim because she was Kim. They seemed to get along pretty good. I mean, I’d guess that’s part of the reason that K.P has no problem being the woman’s pet and everything. So, what could be so bad that K.P doesn’t even want to talk about?”

“What if Shego found a new pet,” the ninja proposed.

“I dunno. I mean, can there be a better pet than Kim Possible, aside for Rufus anyway?” he wondered aloud. The scary thing was that part of him was being serious with that.

“Perhaps she’ll be more willing to discuss the issue in the morning,” the Japanese woman offered.

“I dunno. Whatever happened seems pretty deep. We might have to hope K.P is even still here in the morning.”

“Oh, that is correct,” she agreed. She had forgotten that Kim was known for leaving places at the break of dawn.

The couple did not cease in pondering what might have gone on with their friend and her owner. They knew that it had to have something to do with Kim’s status as a pet because she no longer had on her collar and she did seem to be crying when she had arrived. All they could think was that Shego threw Kim out, but they did not see why she would do that after all of the time that the pair had been together.

They tried to think of reasons for why the green-hued female might get rid of the hero and they considered maybe Kim crossed the line in some way, but they could not figure how or why she might do that. The only time that Kim crossed the line was when she put her tongue in her owner’s mouth and that was due to the fact that she got a little overzealous and she really did not see herself as a pet at the time since they were outside separately.

Now, Kim always saw herself as the pet, inside, outside, whether she had come out with her mistress or not. So, they could not imagine her doing anything so inappropriate that would result in her being kicked out of her home now. They just could not figure out what might have happened.

Kim was gone by first light. She just could not sleep, so she did not see the point in taking up space at her friend’s house. They did not need her in the way and they did not need her bringing down their moods. She did not want to be around anybody right now with the way that she felt because she believed that she would only harsh their mellows and she was not looking to do that.

The redhead did not know where she was going to go now that she was homeless once again. She did not know where she should go since she did not want to bother anyone with her mood. She felt so lost. She felt so lonely.

She did not have anybody at home anymore; she did not even have a home anymore. All of those intangibles that she had learned to appreciate while living with Shego were gone. She was back to feeling like she was going to throw up thanks to those realizations.

The hero had actually never experienced something so painfully emotionally that it made her feel physically sick. She could only imagine how deeply she actually cared for that raven-haired harpy. She never waned to care for someone so much ever again if it meant she would have to feel like she did now if something went wrong.

Shego woke up that morning and climbed up to the loft to see that her girl had not come back. She told herself that it did not matter to her. She was going to have to get rid of the little brat sometime soon anyway. She just hoped that her idiotic monster remembered to come back for all of her stuff and then she was just going to have to find some other place to live. Besides, it was not like she needed the little freeloader.

“Liar…” that evil, little voice in the back of her mind hissed.

Shego ignored the noise and went to make some breakfast; Drakken had stayed the night and he would want some food when he woke up. She made pancakes, just in case her pet decided to show up. She would like the pancakes if she came in, so Shego made them with cinnamon just the way her pest liked them. Kim could actually eat over six pancakes with cinnamon, smiling all the way through the meal. Shego shook the thought away from her head; her pet would be back, she told herself. She was sure that the girl would come back.

When the cerulean scientist sat down for breakfast, he did exactly what Kim would not do when cinnamon pancakes were placed in front of her, he played with them. He then tasted them and complained that they tasted “funny” and nothing like regular flapjacks. Shego frowned and informed him that it might be because they were not regular pancakes.

“Then, what are they?” Drakken asked.

“They’ve got cinnamon in them,” Shego answered through gritted teeth.

“I don’t think like cinnamon,” he stated.

The emerald-eyed woman scowled again. “You don’t say. Then what do you want for breakfast?” she inquired.

“I’ll just take some cereal. Do you have any with marshmallows?”

The scowl deepened; he was passing on a homemade breakfast for cold cereal in a box with marshmallows? Shego was not sure what it would take to keep her from shoving the box down his throat or worse up his ass, but she would see as she went to retrieve some cereal; her pet ate some junk with marshmallows, she recalled. He could have those; maybe he would have them the way that he wanted or it would be the way that she wanted to give them to him.

(New Day)

“Monique, when did you move in with Felix?” Kim asked as she entered the apartment. It was a comfortable-looking place with everything a reasonable size, especially for two people.

“A couple of weeks ago,” Monique answered.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“As you would say, so not the drama. It was a little experiment and I didn’t want to jinx it,” Monique explained as she shut the door.

“Makes sense. How’s it working out?”

“Really good. It’s like whoa,” the chocolate-eyed girl declared with a smile.

“It’s like whoa?” Kim echoed. It seemed that her friend had found her long desired relationship. The redhead was happy for her friend, of course, but it was a bit difficult for her to show that at the moment.

“That’s the only way I can describe it,” Monique answered. She enjoyed being with Felix. He was good company that she could talk to and relate to. He was fun to be around and he made her laugh. He took care of his business and he treated her well. He cared a great deal about her and valued her opinion. What more could a girl ask from a guy?

“Your expression tells the story so much better,” the slender hero remarked. Her good friend was practically glowing; obviously, she was more than happy with her relationship with Felix. “Where’s Felix?” Kim inquired curiously.

“Work. He’ll be home in a few hours.”

“You don’t have class today?”

“If I did, obviously I’d be at school and not about to hear your problem,” Monique answered.

“My problem?”

“Ron and Yori already told me you occupied their sofa a couple of nights ago. Where’d you spend last night?” the African-American young woman demanded to know in an almost motherly tone. She was all too aware that her friend was not scared to curl up on a park bench or sleep on the subway or even just right on the sidewalk.

“In the Alps, stopping a man trying to blow the mountains up for some reason,” Kim answered.

“Maybe he can’t ski. So, where’s your collar?” Monique seemed to ask out of the blue, but it was just an ambush tactic.

“Huh?” Kim was caught off guard just as her friend wanted.

“Your collar, where is it?”

“I lost it,” the olive-eyed young woman replied in an unsure tone.

“Don’t lie. You know you’re not very good at it, girl,” the wavy-haired female scolded her close friend while wagging a finger at Kim.

“Fine, I threw it away,” the hero admitted with a pout.

“Why?” Monique asked as she led Kim to the sofa. They sat down; Monique figured that they would have a very long talk.

“Because I don’t belong to Shego anymore,” the redhead answered in a mumble. She really did not want to talk about it. Talking about it only made her feel more like her insides was falling right out of her body.

“You don’t belong to her anymore?” Monique asked. She guessed that translated into her being thrown out in normal people’s talk. It was indeed a strange day when Monique was the one translating what Kim was talking about.

The redhead looked away and bit her lip. She honest and truly did not wish to talk about it. It hurt so much. It felt like her body had been drained of all of her organs, blood, and bones. She was not even sure how she had managed to pull off that mission yesterday. She was not even sure how she could stand up anymore.

“She’s going to marry Drakken,” the hero explained while holding back tears. She had already cried so much and she would not do it again, she ordered herself. She would not give Shego anymore of her tears. She would not give her former mistress anything ever again. It just was not worth it.

“She’s going to marry Drakken?” Monique echoed because she could not believe it.

The fashion diva did not see how Shego would ever consider marrying someone when Kim was so devoted and damn near hopelessly in love with her. Did Shego not know how much Kim cared about her? How much Kim wanted her and wanted to be with her? Kim was willing to be the woman’s pet for crying out loud just to stay with her, so the woman had to be stupid if she did not know how Kim felt. And if she did know, then what she was doing was just cruel, in the cocoa-eyed female’s opinion.

“She is,” Kim confirmed that the green-skinned woman was getting married.

“Well, maybe she—” Monique started to say, but Kim injected.

“What, could keep me? No, she couldn’t. Let’s be realistic. She threw me away again. She just threw me away…”

“Kim, girl, she didn’t throw you away.”

“She lied to me. She lied.” Kim was now struggling to keep her tears at bay, but they were dripping down her face anyway because her eyes were filled with salty water.

“Kim, it’s okay,” Monique said while hugging her brokenhearted, distressed friend.

“She lied to me. She said her door was always opened to me, always. But, that’s not true if she gets married to Drakken. I hate her, Monique. I hate her so much,” the redhead wept.

“You know you don’t hate her, girl. If you did, it wouldn’t hurt so much. Just give her some time. I bet she realizes that she needs you real soon. After all, you’re her Princess. You’re her girl. You’re the person that she can cry in front of. You’re the person she can be nice to. You’re the person that she can cuddle and she never thinks anything of it. You’re the person that she can spoil and baby. You were made for her,” Monique tried to comfort her friend.

“She doesn’t care.” Kim was convinced that her former master could care less than nothing about her. If she cared even just a bit, she would never think to marry that bothersome blue dolt. If she cared even a little, she would at least allow things to stay as they were forever. She would have remained a pet as long as she could stay, but obviously that meant nothing to her ex-master. Shego could not possible care, Kim concluded.

“She does care. Give her some time to miss you and she’ll realize it. She will,” Monique promised and she truly believed that. Knowing what she knew about Kim and knowing what she knew about Drakken thanks to Ron and Kim, there was just no way in her mind for Shego to pick Drakken over Kim. Kim was, well, Kim, after all.

They just needed to give it time, Monique thought. Kim was skeptical because she had already given Shego so much time. Sure, she could do anything, but she felt now that it was best to stop waiting on a confused woman to make the right decision. It was time to move on, somehow.

Next time: Shego has a flashback of the last time she was without her pet. And is it time for an intervention or what?

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