I hate thinking it, but my brat is so damn adorable. She’s seriously tooth-rotting-trip-to-the-dentist sweet. She does the silliest things, things that should get on my nerves, but all I do is think they’re cute. All I can do is think that she’s cute. How does she make me think these things?
It was cold outside. No, wait, saying that it was cold outside was incredibly inaccurate about the weather predicament; it was freaking freezing outside. It was so bad outside that all of the traffic lights were frozen on one color, signs were frosted over, and there were no signs of intelligent or even stupid life. It was so cold that Kim bet the artic animals at the zoo had on winter gear and were sitting by fires. But, that was outside; inside was another story altogether. Inside the apartment was practically the equivalent to heaven in Kim’s opinion.
The thing was that Kim was wrapped in a very warm blanket and sitting on the sofa with a cup of hot chocolate that was within arm’s reach. The beverage had tiny marshmallows in it and whipped cream, but that was not the part that made the apartment paradise. In fact, the little things were practically irrelevant.
The important thing that made the apartment heaven for the redhead was that her mistress was wrapped in the same blanket as she was; yes, she was sharing a cover with Shego. She desired nothing more to grin widely and then cheer loudly like a happy child that had been given more candy, but she controlled herself. She did not act out at all because she did not want to get on her owner’s nerves. They were supposed to be relaxing and she was very content to do just that.
The olive-eyed girl had herself pressed up against the pale woman’s side and they were doing a movie marathon since there was nothing better to do on such extremely frosty day. Shego was glad for the excuse to not go to the park and play Frisbee, which she noted her pet would do even in the snow if she suggested it. Well, she supposed a good pet would do just about anything her master wanted of her, even if she thought there was something wrong with the command.
“Tell me when the scary part’s over,” Kim requested as she hid her face in her master’s shoulder for the fifth time since they had started watching the thriller.
“What kind of hero are you?” Shego asked because she could not believe that the girl was so freaked out about hack horror movies.
Just about any kind of horror movie bothered her pet, Shego noticed; from “Nightmare on Elm Street” to “Saw II,” the redhead always wanted to know when the scary part was over. One time they watched a movie, well, no, it was more like Shego watched the movie while Kim spent an hour and twenty minutes with her eyes shut and her head turned away. The raven-haired woman did not know about her pet sometimes; okay, most of the time, she just did know what was up with her girl.
“I just don’t like horror movies,” the adventurer replied.
“What, it’s not like it’s real. Surely you’ve seen scarier shit in your life,” the green-skinned female commented. The girl liked to hang out in jungles and she saved the world on who knew how many different occasions for crying out loud; she had to have seen something a lot more frightening than a papier-mâché torso being hacked to pieces with jam dripping out of it.
“Well, yeah,” the hero answered.
“Then how come you can’t watch a horror flick?”
“I don’t know. I just can’t. Is the scary part over yet?” Kim asked, making sure to keep her face turned away from the screen.
“Yeah,” Shego answered.
The redhead turned to look at the television just in time to see two people getting their heads pulled off. She yelped and held onto her owner while trying to hide her head in Shego’s shoulder again. The elder woman laughed a bit and shook her head; she would think that the girl was playing around and trying to feel her up if she never saw the look of sheer terror in her pet’s olive eyes. Part of her did feel like a jerk for messing with her imp as she was, but she tried her best to ignore that part of her or at least soothe it by reminding herself that she did not mean the girl any real harm.
It was hard not to feel like a jerk, though because her pet was using her to hide. It was as if the girl looked at her as safety, the green-skinned female noted. She did not mind her pet looking to her for safety and protection; it was all part of being a pet owner.
“Is it over yet?” the slender adventurer asked again. She would not dare to look up until she was certain that the scary part was done with.
“Yeah,” the raven-haired woman tried to assure her cowardly pet.
“You’re not playing around this time, right?” the redhead inquired.
“Just turn and look.”
Kim glanced very quickly as her look, it would be a surprise if she saw anything at all, and found that the brutal scene had passed. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed against her master yet again. Shego rested her head on the top of Kim’s and she figured that the next movie that they watched would have to be anything but a horror film because she wanted the girl to stay just as she was and that way, she could lay her head on top of the girl’s; it was very comfortable. Their moment was interrupted by a knock at the door and they both knew that only one idiot could possibly be out in the near subzero weather.
“Aren’t you going to get it?” Kim asked when Shego did not make any motions to even get off of the couch.
“It would teach him a lesson if I didn’t,” the pale woman replied. He needed to learn to call before coming over and yelling at him did not seem to be doing the trick. Something told her that being left in the chill would not do the job either, but she figured it might get him to start thinking.
“What if he stays out there, though?”
“What do you care?” Shego countered.
“It’s not about me. It’s about you,” the redhead pointed out.
Shego sighed; she hated it when her little monster made points. “Don’t let my spot get cold.”
The slender hero saluted while the raven-haired woman stood up and left the lovely warm blanket and oddly enough, in her opinion anyway, the comfort of her pet’s body. She wandered to the door while Kim sipped her hot chocolate. The green-hued female yanked the door open and motioned for Drakken to come in before he even realized that the door was open.
“It’s about time, Shego,” the inventor grumbled as he entered the apartment; his teeth were chattering together.
“I don’t recall asking you to come here while the weather’s mimicking the North Pole,” she countered while shutting the door. It was so cold out there that she could practically feel the nip and she had an abnormally high body temperature. Not to mention, she could warm her body at will when she did begin to feel cold.
“I came to keep you company,” he retorted as if that was some big accomplishment. Maybe if she believed him and he was some other guy, she would have been flattered, maybe.
“Please, you got lonely,” she pointed out. She had all of the company that she needed before he showed up.
The ocean-colored scientist did not attempt to snap back and made his way to the living room, shivering all the way. Kim glanced at him; he actually appeared to be bluer than usual. He forced her off of the sofa by sitting down on it. She begrudgingly took the floor along with the blanket while Shego took Drakken’s coat and things to hang up in the hall closet. She also retrieved two new blankets from the linen closet while she was in the hall and returned to the living room.
Shego handed one of the blankets to Drakken. She sat down next to him and wrapped herself in the other blanket. Everyone quietly watched the movie; well, Kim mostly hid underneath her cover since they were still watching the same horror movie from before. The cerulean scientist broke the silence when he noticed Kim sipping her hot chocolate.
“Oh, is that cocoa-moo?” the inventor asked.
Kim only looked at him while her mistress handled the hard job of actually asking, “What the hell did you just say?”
“Cocoa-moo,” he dared to repeat it as if nothing was wrong with it. The two women looked at each other to make sure that they were both hearing the same childish nonsense. They then slowly turned their green gazes to him; most people with a teaspoon of common sense would have at least been nervous having two pairs of jade eyes on them.
“Just what the hell is cocoa-moo?” Shego inquired. She was upset that she even had to say it, but she wanted to know what he was referring to with such infantile words.
“That.” Drakken pointed to the redhead’s mug.
“You mean hot chocolate,” the trim hero stated. “Well, that’s what all the big kids call it anyway.”
“Might I have a cup?” the sky-colored male requested.
“If you never say those words again, you can have as much as you like,” Shego informed him and got up for the second time, much to her annoyance.
The apartment owner had not moved off of the sofa for about fours hours until that scarred nut showed up. Television had offered enough good movies for her to have stayed right where she had been for that long. Well, she had gotten up a little while ago to prepare her pet that cup of hot chocolate, but she did not count that task nearly as irksome as fetching the beverage for the scarred male.
Kim and Drakken ignored each other for the whole time that he was there, namely the whole day, much to the ladies’ displeasure. He started sneezing toward the evening and that was when Kim decided to leave his presence. She would rather not catch a cold from an imbecile that came out in frigid weather without being properly equipped to handle the artic-like chill.
“What’s wrong?” Shego asked Drakken over the phone.
The inventor had called the apartment at a semi-decent hour for once; in other words, the two women were awake before the phone rang and not taken from their rest by the usually offending noise. Shego was wasting a few days off that she had just to waste. She did not feel like chasing raging maniacs through snow and ice; it was not even the cold that bothered her. Shego had a higher body temperature than normal humans and it took a lot for her to get cold thanks to her powers; she could also warm her body internally thanks to her powers. She just did not want to put up with wind blowing in her face or snow or accidentally slipping on some ice. It was also a good excuse to use to hang out with her pet for a few days straight.
“I’m sick,” Drakken sniffled through the phone receiver.
“Really?” she asked, but she did not see what she could do about that. It was not like she had the cure for the common cold in her fridge.
“What’s wrong with him?” Kim inquired in a low voice. She was lurking around Shego while she was on the phone, listening to one side of the conversation because of that.
“He’s sick,” the pale woman informed the girl.
“Serves him right for wandering around in three degree weather. Offer to bring the idiot some soup and stuff,” the redhead suggested.
“What?” Shego asked in a puzzled tone while listening to her boyfriend whine over the phone; well, she was not really listening in the traditional sense. She was just aware that he was going on about something.
“Bring him some soup. Nurse him back to health,” the olive-eyed girl elaborated.
“You’re helping again. It’s creepy when you help,” the master commented and she meant that. Something had to be wrong with her pet for trying to assist in her relationship with Drakken when she knew how her munchkin felt.
“You should do it. He’ll think its sweet.”
Shego sighed. “Hey, how about I come over and make you some soup,” she offered the inventor.
“Really?” the ill scientist inquired. He had not expected the proposal and that could be heard in his voice.
“Really,” she answered, trying her best not to sound deadpan as she appeared while she spoke; she was not very successful.
“Thank you,” he sniffled even worse than before. She was not sure if he was getting worse or if he was unsuccessfully probing for sympathy.
“I’ll be there in about twenty minutes. Bye,” Shego disconnected the call. She looked at her shrimp, who was smiling proudly. The raven-haired woman shook her head. “It’s creepy when you help,” she repeated.
“Hey, you’re the girlfriend. You should do things like this if you want to keep him around,” Kim replied, not that she understood why her mistress wanted the man around. She also doubted that he would leave her master no matter what because no one was that stupid. Well, she did not believe anybody was that stupid.
Shego did not argue with her pet’s comment because she could not argue, even though she would have liked to counter the girl in some way. She was the girlfriend and girlfriends were expected to do certain things, she guessed anyway. She decided to go start with things that she would need to take care of Drakken and his cold.
The pale woman went to Drakken’s apartment and fixed him some soup. She gave him his bowl and noted the disappointed expression in his beady little eyes. She stared down at him; he was resting in his bed.
“What?” Shego asked after a while, even though she knew that she was not going to like the answer.
“It’s just I like the soup with the letters,” Drakken replied.
The green-skinned woman frowned deeply; he dared to compare her handmade, homemade soup to some water in a can? She almost snarled at him and she was one thought away from igniting her hands, but she held her tongue and her plasma. Apparently, she could control herself sometimes. She just told herself that beating him up was not worth it at the moment.
The pale officer went out and made the sickly scientist some tea, lemon tea to help clear his nose and throat. But, as it turned out, he did not like lemon. He whined about the tea, not caring about its purpose, but she was not really listening by the time he got started. It was best to avoid getting into a conflict, she told herself; well, it was best at the moment. She was tempted to tell him that he could either drink the tea or get it through an IV, but she doubted that he would get the meaning behind the threat.
“Shego, can I have some juice?” the ailing doctor requested.
“Whatever,” she replied and she went into the refrigerator only to find that there was nothing but Yoo-Hoos in there. She sighed; she should have expected as much from him. “Hey, I’m going to the store,” she called to him.
“Don’t leave me!” he whined from the bedroom.
“Do you want juice or company?”
“You can’t have both. There’s no juice in this house, unless you’re hording it some place that you don’t want to tell me about,” she remarked.
“Fine,” he huffed.
“Fine what? You want juice or not?” she asked through gritted teeth. Damn her little monster and her brilliant ideas.
“I want juice.”
“Then I’m going to the fucking store,” Shego declared and stormed out of the apartments. She was glad for a reason to get out of there. The next two days were pretty much hell in her opinion. Drakken acted like he was dying all because of his little cold.
Shego woke up her usual time to get ready for work. She sat up in bed and realized that she had a pounding headache. She groaned as she tried to breathe in and discovered that she was congested. She had a cold. Damn Drakken and his germs, she screamed in her head. Oh, she just wanted to kick him in the throat. Kim poked her head in the room through the door and threw off her mistress’ thoughts on revenge.
“Pancakes, pancakes, pancakes,” the pet chanted, as she had been promised pancakes last night as a bribe to stop her from throwing a very loud tantrum.
The funny thing was that the slim adventurer could not even recall what the outburst had been about now, but she was thankful that it was going to get her some flapjacks. They needed to have pancakes more often in her opinion, even though she had heard that too much of a good thing ended up being bad. She doubted that any kind of food that her master made would ever become a bad thing.
“Uh, not now, Pumpkin,” Shego replied while holding in a cough.
“Hey, you don’t look so hot,” the redhead noted while entering the room entirely to get a better look at her mistress.
“Drakken gave me his damn cold,” the officer informed Kim.
“That’s ferociously uncool of him. Well, I’ll get you some orange juice and your newspaper.”
“What are you going to eat for breakfast?”
“Leftover pizza,” Kim answered as if that was obvious, which it was to her.
“I didn’t hear that quite right because it sounded like you said leftover pizza when I’m sure you said cereal,” the older woman said.
Kim sighed. “Fine, cereal it is.”
The redhead went to get the orange juice and the newspaper for her ill owner. She delivered those desired items to her mistress and then she went back to the kitchen. She put on some hot water for tea and checked to see if they had the ingredients necessary for her to prepare some soup, which they did. So, she decided that she would make some fresh soup for Shego.
Half way through her tasks, Kim was interrupted by a knock at the door. She answered the call to find that it was Drakken, how sad. Well, sad for her anyway. The day was not looking up; there were no pancakes for breakfast and he showed up.
“Hi, Shego’s sick,” Kim instantaneously informed the annoying blue doctor. She hoped that the news would make him go away.
“Oh, really? Well, then, I’ll just have to make her better. I am a doctor, you know,” he declared and he entered the house, much to her dismay.
“Having a PhD and being a medical doctor isn’t the same thing,” she pointed out with a slightly offended look on her face. She could not believe the audacity of that blue moron.
Kim was upset with his words for two reasons. One, he seemed to think that she was stupid enough to believe that being a doctor translated into him being able to heal the sick. Two, her mother was a medical doctor and she did not like that he would try to degrade the profession by including himself there. It was bad enough that he was a real scientist.
“Besides, she’s just got a cold. No need to trouble yourself in staying. I mean, you might get sick again,” the girl said to hopefully scare him into leaving.
“Nonsense,” he proclaimed.
The eccentric hero sighed and closed the door with a defeated look on her face. She returned to the kitchen to check on her soup and the tea. The tea was done, so she fixed a cup and went to deliver it to her ailing mistress. Drakken was nowhere in sight, which she thought was good until she discovered where he was, namely in her master’s bedroom. Kim handed Shego the mug containing the tea while hoping that ocean-colored inventor was not making her owner’s day even worse than it already was by being his usual annoying self.
“What’s that?” Drakken demanded to know, as if Kim might be trying to poison her beloved keeper. She was insulted by his tone alone. That was twice in less than ten minutes he managed to offend her.
“Well, the sane call it peppermint tea. You, on the other hand, probably know it as something much more stupid and juvenile,” the raven-haired woman remarked. How dare he take the tone he had with her impish monster. If she did not feel so under the weather, she would throw him out for that.
“Why would she give you that stuff?” he asked.
“It’s to help her feel better,” Kim replied. He could not possibly be that clueless, could he? Part of her wanted to believe that he was playing around, thinking that maybe Shego found the empty-headed pretense attractive.
“What kind of soup are you making?” the pale woman asked her pet since she could see that the olive-eyed girl had decided that she was going to take care of her mistress until she recovered, which Shego oddly did not mind.
“Noodle,” Kim answered.
“Of course,” the green-skinned woman deadpanned. She might have to teach the girl to make another type of soup just in case she ever was bedridden again.
Kim took care of her sick owner despite the fact that Drakken was in the way. He made soup whenever she made soup; his soup always came from a can, which he put in the microwave instead of heating it on the stove. He had some trouble making tea it seemed; maybe the stove was just too complex for him, Kim considered.
The slender hero could not believe how stupid a genius could be. While she was rather peculiar and quirky and would easily admit to that, he was just flat out bizarre. She failed to see how he lived as long as he did while lacking some form of common sense.
She supposed that things could have been more irksome, but she could not think of how. He did not leave while her keeper was ill, much to the ladies’ dismay. Shego just could not express her irritation as well as she usually would because she did not feel well and he was just as annoying as ever.
It took Shego a few days to get better, but she was eventually good to go. She had wasted almost a week on being sick or taking care of a guy that acted like an invalid from a little cold. She figured that she should be happy to go back to work because at least she would be doing something that she believed to be fun and she would not have to put up with Drakken anymore; she would not have to put up with him or his soup from a can.
The emerald-eyed woman exited her room to go start on breakfast, she did owe her elf some pancakes, but she was halted from that task. She heard sneezing coming from the loft. She knew immediately what was wrong.
“Oh, no,” Shego muttered and she climbed the ladder to her pet’s space. “Princess, you okay?” she asked while looking around for her shrimp.
“Yeah,” Kim lied.
“You don’t sound okay.”
“I’m fine. I’m about to get up,” the girl said. She was still lying in bed and wrapped in her blankets like they were cocoons.
“Yeah, right,” Shego scoffed to show her disbelief.
“I am. Really,” the redhead insisted. She really was not, but she would never admit that.
“All right. Once you manage to get up, go get in my bed,” Shego commanded.
“Go get in my bed.”
Shego climbed back down to the hall and then went into the kitchen. Apparently, the pancakes would have to wait for another day; she made her pet some hot cereal for breakfast while Kim crawled out of bed. She marched to her master’s bedroom and eased into bed.
Some minutes later, Shego entered the room with the hot cereal and a glass of orange juice for the girl on a tray. She placed the tray to Kim’s side and then felt her monster’s head to make sure she did not have a fever. It seemed that Shego forgot that even if Kim had a fever, she would never notice considering her own body temperature.
“I’m okay,” Kim continued to persist. She was okay if okay meant that she felt like she had just fallen out of a window and landed on her head.
“Yeah, right. Just relax. I’m the master around here,” Shego declared.
“Right,” the girl concurred.
“So, lie down, eat your food, drink your juice, and then try to go back to sleep when you’re done. If you need anything, I’ll be right here.”
“But, you’ve got work.”
“I’ve got days,” the pale female commented.
“But, you might need them,” Kim protested.
“Like today. This is why I save them up, for when I need them. Now, eat, drink, and sleep,” Shego ordered.
Kim complied with the commands, eating her food and drinking the juice. She then lay down to go to back to sleep while her owner took the dishes to the kitchen, but she found it rather difficult to go back to sleep. Shego came into the room after getting rid of Kim’s dishes and she lay down on the bed. She cuddled her girl in her arms and Kim was able to easily fall asleep after that.
Next time: Welcome back Motor Ed, Felix, and all around pandemonium.