I never really think about it, but I know that if I had good news, the first person to know would be my pet. Is that weird? I wouldn’t tell my friend or my boyfriend, but my pet before everyone else. Do other people do that? What about wanting to celebrate the good news with only their pet?
Doctor Director looked over a stack of papers that were piled on her desk. She had come to conclusion that she realized was long overdue. She had been reviewing Shego’s cases and reports and everything and she could not believe that she had not gotten the notion in her head a long time ago. She was a bit surprised that Shego had not complained about it, but then again, some things slipped under Shego’s “crank radar.” She decided to call the officer into her office and have a word with her.
“What’s up?” Shego inquired from the doorway.
“Come in. Have a seat,” Betty replied while motioning to the chair in front of her cluttered desk. She did not have an assistant of any kind, so she was left to fend for herself on everything.
Shego did not argue and did as she was instructed to do. She turned her eyes to her boss. The one-eyed woman noted the air of a good mood surrounding her younger friend. She had come to understand that Shego’s little brat made her that way. The younger woman had not been in nearly as pleasant a mood when she had sent her pet away, but the second that Betty had found out that Kim was back, she noticed that her friend’s nasty levels were slowly dropping. Shego was damn near approachable now. Betty could not understand how Kim made her that way, though.
The one-eyed woman knew that Shego and Kim did not have a regular relationship of any kind, so it was not like Shego was getting properly laid every night. From what she could tell, all Kim did was act like a spoiled brat and Shego did everything for her. She did not see why taking care of someone made Shego more agreeable than usual. It was not like the raven-haired female had ever shown an interest in taking care of something or someone, so her comrade just did not understand it.
“So, what’s up?” the pale woman asked again.
“I was just going through your file,” the chocolate-haired woman informed her employee. Shego recalled the last time the chief had to review her file.
“So, we’re firing me again?” the raven-haired female inquired. She did not see why she was being fired again; she had not assaulted a co-worker since the last time it happened.
“Last time it was a suspension. You didn’t get fired,” Doctor Director pointed out.
“Same difference,” Shego argued. She had been stuck at home with no one to take out her aggression on. The chief might as well had sent her to Hell while putting her on suspension in her opinion.
“Not really, no. This is more the opposite of firing you.”
“Hiring me?” Shego guessed in a puzzled tone. She had no idea that a person could get hired for a job that she already had at the place she already worked.
“No, you’re hired already,” Betty pointed out.
“Then can we stop beating around the bush and just tell me what I’m here for? I was having a good sleep at my desk,” the green-skinned woman remarked. She was not playing.
“I’m sure you were. No, but like I said, I was going through your file and looking over your work. You’ve been doing a good job with some of the strangest cases.”
“Can I finish?”
“Can you just get to the point?” Shego countered.
“Fine, you take all of the fun out of everything. I’m trying to hype everything up and congratulate you before hand, but you want to be pushy about everything like always. I’m promoting you to sergeant,” Doctor Director proclaimed. She had had the notion a couple of times before, but then Shego would go do something crazy, like beat up a person that she was on a stake-out with.
The raven-haired woman did not react. “So?”
“It means more money,” Betty clarified it into terms that her friend would care about.
“Oh, well, damn, promote me,” Shego agreed with a smile. More money was always a good thing.
“I thought that you might like that.”
“When does this more money thing kick in?”
“Damn it, why didn’t you promote me sooner?” the pale female inquired.
“Slipped my mind,” Betty replied. If she added that Shego had behavioral problems, they would get into an argument because with Shego, it was always someone else, but never her.
“Son of a… it’s going to slip my mind to help you the next time you get stuck with your family,” Shego commented.
“Are you threatening your superior?” Doctor Director inquired.
“I’m threatening Betty Director, the woman that is named after her nana,” Shego replied smugly.
“Shut up about that,” Betty growled. “Besides, if anybody hears you, I’ll just have to let the office know who you’re named after.”
Shego had been trumped completely. Betty knew her deepest, darkest secret: her real name. She supposed that she should be able to walk around with her real name if the person that she hung out with for life was named Betty and actually let people call her that. But, Shego just could not stomach her name.
“Anything else besides this more money thing? Do I get my own parking space?” Shego asked.
“Yes,” Betty confirmed.
“A new badge?” The one that she had looked like it had been through both world wars.
“My own office?”
“And the color of the sky in your world is…?” Betty countered.
“Just checking,” Shego replied.
“Hey, you’ve got some good things going for you in that promotion and people now have to call you ‘sergeant.’ Although, Sergeant Shego sounds repulsive to human ears,” the older woman remarked.
“Look, you had me at more money. I could care less what people call me to my face since I know behind my back I’m affectionately known as ‘that bitch.’”
“You are what you are,” Doctor Director commented with a teasing smile.
Shego came into the apartment with a plastic bag in her hand. She was greeted with her usual hug from her little pest. She rubbed the top of Kim’s head, causing the girl to smile and mew just a bit. The redhead then noticed the bag.
“What’s that? Something for me?” Kim inquired in a hopeful tone.
“You think everything I come in with is something for you,” the pale woman countered.
“No, that’s just my wish. So, is it for me?”
“It’s more for both of us.”
Kim arched an eyebrow and suddenly her mouth curled into her evil impish smile. “Toys?” she asked.
“I’m going to ignore the meaning behind that question,” the apartment owner decided.
“What? I meant like a new ball or something. We could play fetch.”
“Sure you did,” Shego said sarcastically.
The redhead continued to smile. She watched her mistress put the bag down in the kitchen; she wondered if she could sneak a peek. Okay, she decided that she would try to see what was in the bag as soon as her beloved keeper went to take shower. Shego glared daggers at her pet before going to her bedroom and Kim considered that maybe she should not try to be naughty, just once.
Fine, Kim sighed mentally; she would be good. She went to the sofa and stretched out. She would wait and see what Shego’s surprise was, she told herself. When the emerald-eyed woman returned, she went to the kitchen, petting her girl on the way there. Kim guessed that the surprise had something to do with dinner; she hoped that they were having lasagna because they had not had that in a while.
A knock at the door disturbed what was supposed to be an evening alone between the mistress and her pet. The redhead hopped up off of the sofa and the scent of dinner hit her nose. Her nose and stomach were ordering her feet to the table while her brain was commanding that the rest of her to go answer the door. Dinner smelled heavenly, though.
“Pumpkin, get the door while I set the table,” Shego instructed her girl.
“Yes, ma’am,” Kim saluted. That ended the argument going on in her body since her master was in charge of everything.
The girl marched to the door and opened it. Her expression did not waver when she saw who was at the door, namely Doctor D. Drakken Lipsky. The teal scientist was rather surprised to see her. He frowned once he got over the shock.
“What are you doing here?” he practically demanded to know, as if it was his house and she had broken in.
“I live here,” Kim answered easily, almost smugly.
“You live here? Where have you been then?”
“All around the world. I live here now, though. Thank you for asking,” she replied to be irksome.
“Since when?” he inquired.
“A couple of months now,” she answered modestly. It had been more than that and she had been happy to not see him in that time, but he had to go and ruin the streak.
“Shego!” Drakken bellowed.
The green-skinned woman sighed; why did that man not believe in using a phone? Hospitality seriously escaped him, it would seem. She exited the kitchen and walked to the front of the apartment to see her boyfriend and pet standing opposite each other. She noted that Drakken appeared quite vexed while Kim was nonchalant.
“What’s the problem?” Shego inquired.
“Why didn’t you tell me that she was living here again?” the inventor huffed; apparently, he was offended for not being in the loop. He pointed a finger at Kim to make sure Shego knew exactly who he meant, as if there were other people in the apartment and she would get confused if he did not rat out Kim specifically.
“What does it matter?” she countered. It was her house and he did not live there. Why should it concern him as to who she allowed to live there? It did not seem to be any of his business.
“You should tell me these things!”
“You should tell me that you’re coming over,” she riposted.
The redhead decided that while the couple had the rather ridiculous fighting of who should tell the other what, she would see what was for dinner, as that was her major concern. She tried to quietly step away toward the dining room, but she was grabbed by the back of the shirt before she was even a foot away. She sighed.
“Where do you think you’re going?” Shego inquired.
“Dinner?” Kim replied while pointing toward the dinning room.
“Did I say you could have dinner?”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Crying if you don’t let me eat,” Kim whined.
Shego sighed. “Let’s go eat.”
Kim dashed off to the table as soon as she was released. She was astonished to see that Shego had prepared baked chicken with Cajun rice and assorted vegetables. That would have been enough, but there was more. On the side, there was shrimp and noodles. In the center of the table there were rolls as if it was the table at a restaurant and there was a bottle of champagne.
Kim smiled; she was not sure what she had done to be blessed with such a great meal, but she silently vowed to cherish the reward. Hey, her mistress could cook and since she knew what it was like to miss a couple of meals, she was easy to please when it came to food. She was more than thankful to have delicious food every night now. She would truly savor an obviously special meal.
“So, do I get to drink too?” Kim inquired as she parked herself in front of what she believed to be the most plentiful plate.
“Sure you do, kid. I’ve got apple juice for you,” Shego replied. Typically, she would not care about giving her underage pet alcohol, but she was aware that giving the girl apple juice when there was champagne right there would bother her munchkin.
“Figured as much,” the redhead pouted.
“Just be thankful for the spread.”
“You know I am.” Kim smiled elfishly and began to dig in while Shego poured her a fluke of apple juice.
Shego then fixed her surprise guest a plate of food. She was glad that she always made enough for leftovers rather just cooking for herself and her pet or Drakken would have been done in; she did that because it gave her pet something healthy to eat for lunch the next day. She put Drakken’s plate down and poured him some champagne. She then sat down and began eating. She noticed that Drakken had not touched his food.
Many times that Shego cooked, she noticed that it took the ocean-colored scientist a long moment to start eating. She was not sure why that was and she tended to not think too much on it. Right now was not one of those moments.
“Something wrong?” the pale woman asked her boyfriend.
“No…I’ve…just…” Drakken did not answer.
“It’s good. You should just jump right into it,” Kim informed the cerulean inventor. If he did not want it, she definitely would hop right on that for him.
“I will. What are you doing living here anyway? Shouldn’t you be with your parents or something?” he huffed at the redhead.
“Hardly. I’m going to Go University if you must know. I start in a little while,” Kim reported as if it was any of his business.
“Why don’t you spend that time at home?”
“I live here. This is my home,” the redhead pointed out, making sure not to sound smug about it. Shego was tempted to agree and scratch her pet’s head for putting the man in his place, but she resisted the urge.
“You think you’re all that, don’t you?” Drakken countered as if that made any sense. And he spoke the words with such conviction, as if he was seriously getting at her.
“Is he drunk already?” Kim asked her mistress curiously. She just did not see where his question came from.
“He is a fly weight. So, I guess the fumes could do him in,” Shego answered.
“I’m not drunk,” he huffed.
“You sound like it,” Kim commented.
“I’m not. What’s with you anyway?”
“I’m guessing what’s with me is talking to you, so I’m going to stop doing it right now,” Kim decided and she turned her attention to Shego. “So, what’s with the spread?” the girl inquired.
“Just a bit of a celebration. Congratulate me,” the green-skinned woman said.
“Okay. Congratulations!” Kim grinned and clanged her glass against her owner’s glass.
“You don’t even know why, do you?” Shego asked in an amused tone.
“Well, no. You haven’t told me,” the petite hero pointed out.
“I was promoted.”
“You got promoted?” the onyx-eyed male inquired.
“Didn’t I just say that?” Shego retorted.
Dinner continued on with annoying and rude banter being exchanged between everyone. Drakken eventually got to talking about Kim wearing a collar and she decided to make him feel stupid by acting like it was the latest fashion tread. He could not really make a come back after she declared that it was all the rage in Paris.
The ladies also noted that Drakken did not really eat his food. Kim honestly did not know why he had not finished the meal. The food was beyond scrumptious and he would need the energy anyway; he was the one that was going to continue to benefit from Shego’s good mood after all. He was going to get to go to bed with her, cuddle her, and wake up next to her in the morning. Oh, the lucky bastard, Kim thought.
The redhead retired for the night to avoid working herself up thinking about her beloved keeper with that blue dolt. She flopped down onto her mattress. She yawned and heard something strange; she heard the front door open, her mistress say “goodbye”, and then seconds later, she heard the door shut. She poked her head out of the loft to see that the pale woman was going to bed alone.
“Yes!” Kim cheered in her mind.
The younger woman waited the appropriate few minutes that she had just made up in her head one day before climbing down from her space and creeping into her master’s bedroom. She slide into the bed and curled up next to Shego. She sighed contently and closed her eyes. Shego glanced down at her pet; the girl was so predictable.
“Why does she do this?” the super-powered female wondered. She could not figure out why her little twerp liked her so much. She was typically mean to the girl, amusing herself by tormenting Kim in some way. She enjoyed pulling pranks on the younger female. She liked taunting and teasing her petite pest. Kim was like a little monkey to her.
So, what was going in her pet’s supposedly brilliant mind? Did she just like the abuse? Surely there were plenty of places for the redhead to stay where she would be treated better, where she could not be as an entertainment piece. So, why did she stay with her, Shego wondered.
Kim cooed in her sleep and snuggled up closer to the older woman. Shego caressed the girl’s soft, smooth cheek. She leaned down and lightly kissed Kim near the corner of her mouth. She whispered thanks, for what she did not know or just refused to acknowledge the reason. She then went to sleep while noting that she had celebrated her promotion almost exactly how she wanted to.
“Hey, I heard you got promoted,” Will Du commented, speaking to Shego as he came over to her desk at their job.
Shego only glanced up at Will. She disliked him, even though he had gotten his job the same way that she had gotten hers, namely through knowing Betty Director. Will happened to be Doctor Director’s cousin or something; Shego never really bothered to learn the specifics since every time she saw the bigheaded dip-shit, and she meant that in a nice way, all she could think about was how he was a bigheaded dip-shit. Yes, it was just vicious cycle.
“It took you a while. I mean, I’ve only been a sergeant for the past two years,” Will boasted. She supposed that it was a good thing to brag about since he was around her pet’s age, like twenty or so; once again, the specifics of the boy escaped her for the aforementioned reasons.
“Yeah, and you’ve only been a sergeant since then. Speaks to the quality of your recent work,” she riposted. Hey, he practically begged her to say that.
One day, Shego believed that she was going to have to grow up and learn to stop mixing it up with the bighead. The only reason that he was even still alive was because Betty looked out for him. If it was not for her, Shego would have at least made the boy cry a long time ago and that would have just been the start of his troubles from her.
Will appeared offended for just a moment, but he quickly gathered himself. “My work speaks for itself,” he stated.
“It says mediocre and I completely agree.”
“What are you two doing?” Betty inquired as she strolled over to the rising verbal battle. She had spotted the pair from her office and decided to intervene before something terrible happened.
“Trying to get some sleep,” Shego answered. “So, maybe you can get Pee-Wee out of here,” she requested.
“Will, don’t you have work to do?” the one-eyed woman asked. The boy frowned, but he walked away. Doctor Director turned her attention to her friend, who was lounging in her chair with her feet kicked up on her desk.
“Do I have work to do?” the pale woman inquired with a smirk since the boss was looking at her.
“Nothing’s come up that calls for your expertise,” the chief answered.
“I can do plenty of things.”
“Acting civil isn’t one of them?”
“Not my strong point, no,” Shego replied with an amused smile on her face.
“We don’t have anything that calls for your specific skills,” Betty assured the younger woman.
“What do I even bother coming to work for?”
“Probably the paycheck.”
“That’s true. This is so boring,” Shego groaned.
“The day won’t stay boring.”
“What do you mean?” the green-skinned female inquired with a craned raven eyebrow.
“Just thinking out loud,” the boss answered in a dismissive tone.
The ebony-haired woman eyed her friend curiously as Doctor Director walked away. She wondered what Betty meant by the day not staying boring. She did not bother to ask again after the chief claimed to be thinking aloud. The day remained tedious; she supposed that most law enforcers would like that and figure that they were doing a great job. She was not like most law enforcers, though; she joined for the action and the need for steady money. Lots of both of those, in fact.
The pale woman yawned slightly as she rose from her desk and was set to go home for the day. She walked to the front of the station and noticed that Betty was blocking the doorway. She arched an eyebrow.
“What the hell is your problem?” Shego inquired.
“You can’t leave yet,” Doctor Director replied.
“Because you’re forgetting our tradition.”
“Tradition?” the younger woman echoed. What was her friend going on about?
“The officer’s tradition on promotions,” the one-eyed female elaborated.
Shego looked puzzled for a moment and then terror stricken the next. She shook her head while the brown-haired woman nodded. The emerald-eyed employee continued to shake her head while Betty grabbed her by the shoulder and led her back into the headquarters. A banner was flung open and it read “Congrats Cranky.”
“Is there beer?” Shego inquired in a deadpan voice.
“About seven different brands,” Betty replied.
“Will’s driving me home, so yes. I’ll try not to drink too much, though.”
“Promise me you won’t let Drakken take me home,” the green-skinned woman said.
“O….kay,” Doctor Director agreed hesitantly. It was a very strange request in her opinion, but she could see why Shego would not want to be drunk around the sky-colored inventor; who knew what crazy thing she might do around him. The least scary thing she could do was sleep with him, of course, but the scariest thing that she could do wild out on him and beat him up something terrible.
“And if I forget, remind me to get some cake for Pumpkin,” Shego instructed her friend.
Betty rolled her eye; her friend was always thinking of her little, irksome brat. She decided not to say anything since it was supposed to be a celebration. They joined the party that was to celebrate Shego’s promotion, proving that the department did not need much of an excuse to throw a party and get drunk.
It was actually the office’s tradition to have a party for a person who was promoted, even if that person was Shego. It was also tradition to get that person to drink as much as possible to see how much the person could handle. It was a rather dull party when Will had been promoted, but Shego proved to be exciting to watch. Things got even better when Shego out drank their boss. The whole place was awed by how much both women could drink.
“I am the champ!” Shego declared and then she fell over. The office erupted into cheers and laughter.
Despite heavy drunkenness on her part, Doctor Director managed to help her good friend to her front door. She rang the doorbell because knocking seemed much too complex for her hazy brain; she was lucky to be able to ring the bell. It took a few seconds, but Kim eventually answered the door.
“Hey,” the redhead greeted the pair.
“Hey, we know her, don’t we?” Shego asked Betty.
“We do,” Betty confirmed.
“What’s wrong with her?” Kim inquired with some concern in her voice. While she and her crew drank a little, they had never gotten as drunk as Shego was at the moment, so Kim had never witnessed such a thing.
“Drunk,” the one-eyed woman answered. She was good to go as long as responses only required one or two words on her part. Any more than that and she was certain that her brain would explode trying to process the information.
“Oh. So, you’re handing her over to me?”
“Yup,” the brown-haired woman affirmed and she practically dropped Shego onto the hero.
The redhead grunted as she caught her mistress and made sure to keep her on her feet. She watched as Betty staggered away down the open hall and to the stairs. She continued to keep an eye on Doctor Director until she made it safely to a car; the hall outside the apartment had windows that looked out into the front of the building that allowed her to watch the one-eyed female. Once Kim was certain that Betty was all right, she turned her attention to her intoxicated owner.
“Come on,” Kim said as she tugged the pale woman inside the apartment.
“You smell good,” Shego commented, nuzzling her face into the girl’s neck.
“Thanks,” the hero simply answered while trying her best to ignore the feel of her keeper’s lips on her flesh.
Shego continued to snuggle her face deep into the redhead’s silky neck. Kim took a deep breath and ordered herself to ignore all the lovely touching while helping the green-skinned woman to her bedroom. She eased Shego onto the bed and the drunken woman collapsed onto the pillow. Kim removed her mistress’ shoes and then leaned back up to make sure the older woman was all right.
“How’re you doing?” Kim asked.
Shego did not answer. She groaned a bit and the redhead thought that she should take her owner out of her street clothes, so the pale woman could fall asleep. She bent down to remove the woman’s shirt and as she went for the buttons, Shego shot up and kissed her. It was not a little peck either; it was a deep kiss that Kim returned on instinct and an unfathomable desire of the woman in bed. Shego wrapped her arms around the younger woman and gently cupped her breast.
“Princess,” the tipsy woman whispered.
“She wants me. Should I go for it?” Kim wondered and she gulped. She was not sure if she would be able to resist the temptation.
Next time: Will Kim resist the temptation? Drakken has a surprise for Shego. Will she like it?