I’ve been a bad, bad pet. I don’t know how to make up for what I did wrong, mostly because I don’t understand what I did that was so wrong.
Kim could see in her mistress’ emerald green eyes that the elder woman was infuriated with her. It was the only thing that the girl focused on while the twins were busy declaring that they and Kim made a great team; they were actually still trying to get into her pants in some way. She kept her gaze fixed on Shego as they turned Aviarius and his feathered menagerie over to the proper authorities; it took the police and animal control a while to show up since the villa was a bit off the beaten trail. Once everything was cleared away, Shego was the first to retreat back into the villa.
“Shego!” Kim called, but her owner ignored her. She sighed; what had she done that had been so wrong? She could not figure it out; after all, she had only helped. She did not see what was so wrong with helping; well, aside for the fact that she had been ordered not to.
“Hey, you can make a run for it now,” Hego pointed out, talking to Kim, much to her confusion.
“Make a run for it?” the girl echoed in an extremely bemused tone. If she was going to run anywhere, it would toward her upset owner. What was he going on about?
“Go now, before she comes back,” the indigo-eyed man urged her as if she was kidnapped child that had just been left by her abductor.
“Oh, I get it,” Kim said.
“You do? Then get going,” he commanded.
“I get that you’re an idiot. I’m with Shego voluntarily, you dolt. She’s not holding me hostage or anything like that. I’m here because I want to be,” the redhead replied plainly for him to understand her completely. He seemed taken back by such news; it was as if he could not believe that she was speaking the truth.
“You can’t be—”
“I am serious. I’m with her because I want to be. I like being her pet,” Kim declared.
Hego stared at her as if he could not comprehend her words and he really could not. She was a human being, meaning that she could not be a pet. He suspected that she might not be quite right in the head or she had grown used to being a prisoner and believed that she liked it. Those were the only explanations he could figure on as to why she would say such insane words.
“Well, Pumpkin, you know what a good pet would do right now?” Isabel asked the girl.
“No clue. What?” Kim inquired.
“Apologize for being bad. You didn’t listen to her command.”
“Damn it,” Kim muttered. She was blowing her role as a pet big time, she realized. It was one thing to not follow the rules and show her need for her mistress, like by sneaking in her bed. It was another thing to disobey the rules and assert independence; almost as if she was saying that she did not need her owner. A good pet would never make it seem like she did not require her owner for everything. The redhead trotted into the house to beg for forgiveness for undermining her keeper’s authority, especially in front of so many people.
“Mom, you can’t possibly condone such an evil relationship,” Hego said.
“What’s so evil about it? They’re both happy and they’re not hurting anyone. If only the rest of the world could be like them,” Isabel remarked. Besides, she actually thought that it was bit cute and it was refreshing to see someone really do anything for the person that she loved, even be that person’s pet. Kim’s sincerity and devotion was adorable and endearing.
Kim discovered her mistress in the back of the house by the moderate-sized lake. She was lounging in a folding chair, frowning as she gazed out into the murky water because that was the direction that the reclining chair was facing. She was aware of her disobedient girl, but did not acknowledge her little monster. The redhead stared at the back of the chair for a long moment.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t listen. You can bop me if you want,” Kim offered weakly. She was not sure what to say.
“I don’t want to bop you and I don’t want your lame ass apologizes,” Shego replied after another long moment. She felt like if she hit her twerp now, she might never stop.
“But, I’m really sorry,” the redhead apologized.
“Yeah, right,” the green-skinned woman scoffed.
Kim pouted for a few seconds and then she decided to show the raven-haired female that her words were very genuine, like always. She walked over to the chair and lay down, right on her angry owner. Shego made a frustrated noise in the back of her throat; she was so vexed that her brain could not form actual words to describe and express the feeling at the time. She actually raised her hand like she was going to hit her annoying pest, but she did not go through the striking motion.
The girl was not deterred because of the sound that the elder woman made or of the fact that she raised her hand. She made sure to look her master dead in the eye for her to see that she truly was sorry for what she did. Then she took Shego’s hand and placed it on her back, practically forcing her master to caress her. Once Shego was rubbing Kim’s back without any encouragement, the redhead rested her hands at her mistress’ side and lay her head on Shego’s breasts; she might have found a pillow that was slightly better than Shego’s lap, she considered.
“I’m really sorry,” Kim mumbled.
“Uh-huh,” Shego replied, not sounding as purely angry as she had earlier, but making sure to make it seem like she was still upset. “Just watch what you do with that mouth,” she ordered her pet, knowing that the girl might try something dirty being so close to an intimate part of the older woman’s anatomy.
Kim smirked. “I’ll watch if you want me to,” she remarked in a suggestive tone.
“Keep it up and I’ll let Wally have you.”
“No,” the redhead whined. “I always want to be with you and only you,” she informed Shego and she meant those words. She always wanted to be with Shego and she would stay with the emerald-eyed woman for as long as Shego allowed it.
“You know, I think sis just might be gay,” Walter commented as he and his double looked out of the glass doors that led to where Kim and Shego were. They could make out the two figures enough to know that Kim was resting on top of their sister.
“That’s what I’ve been saying,” Mego bragged.
“Who cares?” Wallace declared with a shrug. They were not the first family in the world to have a lesbian in the family and he doubted that they would be the last. As a matter of fact, he would be sad if his family was the last to have a lesbian because there was a segment of the population that he and his twin enjoyed to watch, like most men did.
“That’s true, but it does make her pet off-limits,” Walter pointed out in a disappointed voice.
“That’s true,” Wallace dejectedly concurred. The one sexy girl in a collar just had to be claimed by their sister. That was definitely a cosmic joke directed right at them, they believed.
“Boys, Shego and Pumpkin aren’t in a sexual relationship,” Isabel informed the twins.
“Yeah, but that still looks pretty deep,” Walter replied while pointing his thumb into the backyard.
“It does. Hey, we should go find a pet,” Wallace suggested to his double.
“Here’s an idea, how about you at least find two? One for each of you,” Isabel added. Sometimes, it was just a bit creepy when the twins behaved entirely as one entity. She hoped that they did not share one girl when she was not looking.
“Even better,” the pair agreed as if they never would have thought of that on their own. Their mother feared that they did share girlfriends now.
“Mom,” Hego objected to her encouraging such depraved behavior. Honestly, keeping a person as a pet was like having the person as a slave in his opinion and he did not understand why no one else it that same way.
“Isabel, this is wrong. Go stop your disgusting daughter right now and then set the twins straight that what they’re sister is doing is far from cool,” Jason commanded.
“And why would I do that?” Isabel asked with an arched ebony eyebrow.
“Hey, what about setting me straight about it? I think it’s cool,” Mego interjected, but no one even glanced in his direction.
“What do you mean, why would you do that? Your daughter is dragging a girl around on a leash,” Jason pointed out, speaking to his wife. How could she not see the problem with that? It was definitely shameful and mortifying behavior.
“And your point is? I do believe I just heard the girl say not even fifteen minutes ago that she was there voluntarily and she liked being a pet,” Isabel countered.
“That girl is obviously brain damaged in some way,” Hego argued.
“What are you talking about?” Walter said.
“She was smart enough to save your ass,” Wallace pointed out, speaking to their eldest brother.
“Yeah, she—” Mego tried to jump in, but his father beat him to a comment.
“Isabel, you need to do something about Shego and Wego,” Jason stated.
“What about me?” Mego asked.
“I’m not doing anything. You want to step in, be my guest. Just wear a cup if you’re going to confront Shego about all of this,” Isabel told her husband.
Shego could hear her family arguing again; she did not even think to go join on in. She did not make any motions to move from her seat. She continued to rub Kim’s back, which caused the girl to purr in contentment. Shego glanced down at the girl every now and then, just to make sure she was still awake and not drooling on her.
The raven-haired woman noted how peaceful her pet looked, just resting on her and listening to her heartbeat. Yeah, she and Kim unquestionably would have to take a trip again; just the two of them. She knew the girl would love that. She had obviously forgotten that she was supposed to be upset with her defiant pet.
The weekend could not end fast enough for Shego, even though there was some satisfaction in knowing that she had made Hego cry an hour before leaving. He had made some smart mouth commented directed toward her little monster and Shego had kicked him in the crouch again. She then said some very hurtful words about him being an in-the-closet homosexual, but he was so scared that he could not even admit it to himself. He did not seem to like that and then their other brothers started muttering agreements, which seemed to bother Hego even more. It was a good final hour in her opinion; her work there was done.
Heading back to where they parked the car was nice for the simple fact that Kim did not hold them up by diving after everything that moved, which she had done when they had arrived the other day. They made good timing, which Shego was thankful for because she wanted to get as far away from that nightmare as possible. They started back home, back to their normal lives.
“So, you and your brothers used to be a superhero team?” Kim asked.
Shego knew that she was going to be questioned to death on the ride home. She had just been waiting for her petite rascal to start. “We did,” she confirmed.
“What happened?” the girl inquired. She had never heard of Team Go and from what she could tell with most of the siblings, they wished that they had never heard of Team Go either. She wondered how they managed to get along for enough time to save anything.
“We were active in Go City for a little while. I left before they stopped, but they eventually got pressed out when Betty started the special crimes until of the police force. Team Go became unnecessary. It was stupid anyway. My father started the dumb team after we got our powers. So, we could all live Hego’s precious dream apparently,” Shego remarked.
“How’d you get powers, anyway?”
“A meteor crashed into this crappy tree house we had.”
“That could not have been cool,” the redhead commented.
“No shit. After that, we became lab monkeys basically for a little while.”
“Well, my mother was gone at the time and Dad needed money to help his flop of a political career. He let these scientists or whatever study us and our powers and whatever else they felt like. He got his money and then he got another genius idea that we should be superheroes after that. It earned him a seat in Congress. And apparently, since fuckers don’t vote, he stays there for doing jack shit,” the officer explained.
She sounded a bit vexed just recalling how her father had used them. She believed that had her mother been there, she would have at least argued against the plan. But, as stupid as they all were back then, she knew that she and her brothers would have gone along with their father’s idea if only to spite their mother.
“Well, where was your mother?” the redhead inquired curiously.
“Yeah, my mother…sometimes she just left. She’d declare my father to be king of the assholes and leave for weeks, months sometimes. Then she’d come back for a while and the cycle would start all over again,” the pale woman replied. She had to admit that she and her brothers somewhat resented her mother for leaving, but she learned to resent her father too, believing that he was the reason that her mother left so often and for so long.
“So, are they separated now or something?” Kim asked in a confused tone.
“No, they’re still married. I doubt they live together at the moment. I know they didn’t the last time I checked. Every so often they get back together for some reason or another. They stay together for a few months and then, as my mother quaintly puts it, part ways before someone gets killed.”
“Sounds deep,” Kim commented for lack of a better thing to say. She had heard of a lot of things in her short life, but what she was hearing now was kind of new to her.
“You’ve met the family,” Shego retorted.
“I can see your point. Hey, maybe one day, you can meet my family,” the girl suggested with an elfish smile.
Shego could not help smiling back. She reached over and stroked her pet’s head. Their attention was turned from each other when they both heard a surprising rattling noise. The driver sighed.
“I knew it was a bad idea to leave this car in that lot. It’s a brand new car, yet it’s already making a fucking noise,” Shego complained.
“It’s cool. I know a really good mechanic,” Kim declared with confidence.
“Totally,” the younger woman assured her mistress.
Shego decided to go check out the mechanic that her elfish monster knew. Kim did warn her master that he was a bit “eccentric.” She promised that despite his strangeness, he was the absolute best person to work on any vehicle. She was sure that he could take care of Shego’s car without a problem.
Shego had to take her pet’s word on it because her automobile sounded as if it was ready to blow up in her opinion. She was not willing to chance losing her wheels because losing her car meant having to take the train to work again; it would rain fire and brimstone before she relied on public transportation again. So, she drove the car to the garage address that Kim had given her. She got out of her car to look around and was noticed by a man almost immediately.
“Can I do something for you?” a short man with slicked back black hair inquired while walking up to Shego.
“I’m looking for Ed,” Shego replied.
“Yeah? What for? He know you’re coming?”
“I doubt it,” she replied, unless the guy was psychic anyway.
“Then what are you even doing here? Ed don’t see just any babe,” the dwarf informed Shego, which caused her to scowl.
“Look, little man, don’t make me punt you,” she warned him.
“Yo, seriously, what the hell’s going on out here?” a blonde man inquired as he exited the building and joined the pair that were about to argue, or maybe Shego was just going to kick a field goal with the short man and save her vocal cords the trouble.
“I’m looking for Ed,” Shego informed the new guy.
“Whoa, and you’ve like totally found him, seriously,” the blonde replied while marching up to Shego like a man on a mission. He smiled down at her, but she was rather unimpressed by the man with an outdated hairstyle and his dingy cobalt shirt. Not to mention he had his name tattooed on his arm, what was that for? In case he forgot, which she would not put passed him.
“You’re Ed?” Shego inquired, mostly because she could not believe that he was the man that her lunatic twerp had sent her to. The man could not even bathe from the smell of him and she was supposed to believe that he could fix a car? Well, she was not buying it.
“Yeah, but seriously, you’re like totally hot. What can I do for a babe such as yourself? Because I’d do anything for you, seriously,” Ed remarked.
“Like make me vomit,” she muttered. “I just need you to check out my car.”
“Whoa, what?” he asked as if she offended him.
“Whoa, no can do, little lady. I don’t touch any old, regular car,” Ed explained.
“What? This is a garage, right?” the raven-haired woman pointed out. It looked something like a mix between a garage and a junkyard, but that did not even matter. What better thing could he have to do rather than check her car? What, he had a six-pack and a blow-up doll that he needed to get back to?
“Yeah, totally. This is a garage, seriously, but we don’t do cars,” Ed replied.
Shego frowned; her stupid pet had sent her on a wild goose chase. She was going to strangle that little pest when she got back home. If she even made it back home with the way her car was acting up.
Wait a second, her mind told her. When her scatterbrain brat was telling her about the place, she said she should tell Ed something if all else failed. Before setting him on fire, she was supposed to mention that “red” sent her if nothing else worked. She sighed; she felt like she was in a bad movie that was set in the 1920’s.
“Red told me that you’d fix my car,” Shego said.
“Whoa, seriously?” Ed asked.
“You know Red?”
“Red knows some hot chicks, seriously. I guess I can look at your car, seriously. And then how’s about you and me go out?” he inquired.
“How about you look at my car and I don’t whip your ass?” Shego countered.
“Seriously? A dangerous babe, I love it. That’s like the best kind, seriously.”
Shego groaned. “Yeah, whatever.”
“But, seriously,” Ed said and Shego knew for a fact that she had just met an idiot.
Spending time with Ed proved to Shego that he was in fact an idiot. He fixed her car in a hurry, but he continued to hit on her in between that time. She restrained herself as much as she could, but eventually she just whammed him with a plasma blast. Much to her astonishment, he was a masochistic idiot because after she hit him, he just tried harder to talk her into going out with him. She was glad when she finally got out of that place.
The raven-haired woman went home and found Kim laid out on the floor for once. Shego arched an eyebrow and decided to mess with her knocked out brat. She leaned down and clamped her fingers over Kim’s nose. The redhead snorted and flailed her arms a bit in her sleep, but she did not wake up and she breathed through her mouth. Shego let Kim’s nose go, waited a few seconds for her to calm down, and then closed the girl’s nose again. Kim whined and moved again, causing her owner to snicker. Shego bothered Kim for almost three minutes before discovering why her pet was sleeping so hard; she noticed a bandage peeking out from underneath Kim’s shirt. The redhead more than likely had a tough mission that she had just come in from.
“What happened now, Princess?” Shego wondered as she collected her girl in her arms. She put the redhead on the couch and lifted up her shirt to see that Kim had her whole left side bandaged.
“If you want a peek, all you had to do was ask,” Kim remarked with a yawn.
“Shut up. What happened to you?” the pale woman inquired.
“I just got hit with a tree branch. I’m okay.”
“Just stay on the couch,” Shego ordered.
“Can I have pie?” Kim asked with another yawn. She winced a bit because she stretched and it hurt her side.
“Sure,” Shego sighed while caressing her girl’s cheek. “Tell me, how in the hell do you know that mechanic guy?” she asked.
“A few years back, he worked on a project with the mother of a friend of mine. Me and my friend hung around and kept putting our two cents in while trying to talk them into letting us do something. He didn’t like having us around much, but he couldn’t do anything about it. It’s not that he didn’t like us, but he didn’t like being told what should be done. When he met me, he called me ‘Red.’ The more he called me ‘Red,’ the more I irked him by saying something about their project. He likes that.”
“He likes what?” Shego asked.
“When someone gets on his nerves. Did he fix your car?”
“He’s looking at it. So, he likes abuse, huh?”
“From what I can tell, hell, yeah. I bet he hit on you,” the redhead commented.
“He did get more persistent, the more I threatened to rip his ribs out individually. I doubt I helped the situation by hitting him then,” the green-skinned woman realized.
“You better watch out. He’s got your scent now.”
Shego rolled her eyes. “I’ve got a man already.”
“Is that what we’re calling him now?” Kim remarked.
“Watch yourself,” the elder warned her pet.
Kim decided to close her mouth and Shego left to go make her pet a pie. The redhead sighed; Ed could make his way to being more competition for her. She doubted that anything would come of him and her mistress, but that would not stop him if he was seriously interested in her. He seemed to like the chase more than anything else; probably had something to do with his vehicle and speed mentality.
As she thought about it, though, she figured that Ed was not even a threat. Shego would not see him again unless her car had a problem. So, it was still primarily her versus Drakken. She still felt like she was losing, even though she was certain that she was winning that race.
Next time: Kim does that rescuing thing that she does. Then there’s just some pet and master time together. It’s pretty much down time after such a trying time of it with Shego’s family.