I wonder how much Pumpkin really likes this artist kid. I mean, how mad would she be if I just broke his arm? It wouldn’t even be the one he paints with. Just for him to get the idea to stop being a prick.
Kim was lounging on a thick branch in a tree in one of her favorite places to be, a rainforest. She was a sucker for the jungle and it had been that way since she was little according to her parents, who pointed out that Kim liked to play in trees and in the mud when she was little. She did not remember that, but she learned it was less embarrassing to just let parents ramble than to second guess them and get them started into other things. It was always best to allow them to run their courses then to start them down some new course.
The part-time hero was keeping an eye on a group of scientists searching the area for a particular plant species that supposedly had healing properties. To Kim, it was waste of perfectly good scientists. She was not looking to knock their fields or anything like that, but she never quite got into plant life. She found things with skeletal and muscular systems to much more fascinating. But, she understood that was her personal opinion and she never downed someone else’s field to the person’s face.
While the crew inspected the local flora, Kim thought about going home. She hoped that Shego would make some kind of pasta for dinner. Shego was on a serious pasta strike it seemed because she had been making anything that was not pasta for a long time now. She even pulled out a cookbook a few nights ago, searching for something that did not involve a noodle of some kind. In a little while, Kim figured that she was going to have to go to Josh’s house and bum some ramen noodles off of him; he had plenty to spare since it was the only thing that he ate aside for pizza.
The redhead fought off the urge to yawn; she did not even see why the scientists asked her to come along. They were just as comfortable in the jungle as she was. They did not need her around, it seemed. She was glad that she brought a book, but she finished that an hour ago. She had gotten her schoolwork out of the way too. Mental note, she told herself, bring more books if she ever had to go into a rainforest to deal with the plant life.
And then something odd, but familiar caught her eye. She peered over into a bush that was a couple of yards from her and she continued to look on, growing more intrigued by the second. She silently dropped out of the tree to inspect her new interest more closely. She stalked her captivating prey like any stealth predator would, slowly approaching the alluring object.
“Miss Possible,” a scientist called when he noticed her creeping near a bush.
“Shh,” Kim hushed the man as she continued on her way.
The redhead craned an eyebrow; it was just as she suspected. She found a viper lurking in the bushes, but the interesting thing about it was that it was a serpent that she had never seen before. Kim did not claim to be some kind of snake expert, but she had seen plenty of them ever since she started her missions and got into biology. She was slowly becoming enamored with serpents, though. There was something about snakes that sparked the Possible curiosity inside of her and also her natural “kimness.” There was a challenge hidden in snakes.
Kim decided to catch the limbless creature that had her attention; it was something to do. She also desired to know what kind of snake it was and then, after having a close look at it, she planned on releasing it back into the bushes. She captured her prey effortlessly; she had a lot of practice in handling reptiles of all types because reptiles were not as easily scared off as mammals and birds. She examined it, but she still could not figure out what kind of serpent it was.
Since Kim could not figure out what kind of snake she had caught, she decided to show it to some local snake experts after she got out of the jungle. The plan there was to show them the snake, let them tell her what it was, what its identifying marks were, and then just taking it back to where she found it. The plan turned out to be flawed because she had not counted on the experts not knowing what species she had. It turned out that they could not identify the snake in her keep either.
There was something wrong with her viper and that was that it did not appear to be a viper. Kim was told that she had caught an elapid, which was the family of snakes that cobras and coral snakes belonged to. She looked at the serpent in her hand; it did not look like any cobra, coral snake, or krait that she had ever seen. It did not look like an elapid that any of them had ever seen. When she released it, the snake spread a very small hood, especially for a snake its size.
“It’s a cobra?” Kim wondered.
The hood on the snake was almost nonexistent in comparison to other snakes and it only kept the hood open for a couple of seconds. It also did not have any marks on the hood. Well, at least now they knew that it was a cobra, but the problem was that there were not supposed to be any types of cobras where she was. Why, very puzzling indeed, she thought.
Kim decided to get a permit in order to take the snake back home and show it some other scientists that she knew, but when she found out how long it would take for such a permit, she decided against it. She figured that it would be best to leave the snake right where it was because there was no sense in her waiting six weeks to take a snake home that might just be an abused, escaped pet. She merely requested that the people she left the snake with contact her and tell her what kind of snake it was to satisfy her curiosity. They easily agreed to that; hey, like the rest of the world, they owed her a favor or two and that was an easy one to fulfill.
Shego was sitting with her boss at their usual café up the street from the station; still a slow crime week it would seem, much to the younger woman’s annoyance. Doctor Director was looking through Josh’s vast portfolio; apparently, she was serious about being a patron of the arts. Josh passed his time by glancing at Shego.
“What?” the raven-haired woman huffed after the young man looked at her about fifty times in as many seconds. She had been behaving herself because she did not feel like hearing crap from Betty, but if he kept trying her patience, then Betty might have to arrest her.
“Oh, nothing,” he replied.
“It’s something. What?” she demanded to know.
“Well, I was just thinking about how cool you must be,” he said with an adorable half-smile.
“Why do you say that?” she inquired with a frown on her face.
“You know, if Kim’s staying with you and everything, then I guess you’re really cool,” he explained, still wearing his half-smile, which was getting on her nerves.
“So the fuck what?” the emerald-eyed female countered. What was he getting at? And what was with his stupid smile? She just wanted to punch him in the mouth to at least wipe the idiotic expression off of his face.
“No, nothing. Never mind. I just think you’re really cool, that’s all. I hope you let her stay with you for a long time. She seems happy, so I really hope you let her stay with you,” the artist replied.
“Do you?” Shego asked in a skeptical tone. She doubted that he really cared about her pet since he had cheated on her back when he had dated Kim. He betrayed her with a girl that she hated and now he was acting like he cared about her happiness; Shego was not buying it. He probably just acted that way hoping to one day bed Kim again, but her little monster was too naïve to see that.
“Yeah, you know, she’s my friend. Sometimes, I worry about her, especially when she’s out on her own. She’s got dangerous hobbies and I’m sure she won’t be as careless as she can be sometimes if she has a home and loving master to go back to,” Josh explained, still smiling that irksome smile of his.
“She told you about that?” Shego inquired, successfully hiding her shock. Did Kim go around advertising that she was a pet like it was a great thing to be? Her twerp needed some time on the couch or something, she thought. The girl was really naïve for her own good; it seemed that way to the pale woman anyway.
“Yeah, like I said we’re friends. For you to have caught her, you must be an incredible person.”
“Are you done kissing up yet? I don’t have any influence over Betty buying your shitty art,” Shego commented. She hoped that shut him up or the next thing that he said to her, her response was going to be to knee him in the groin and tell him to fuck off.
Josh was not sure how to respond to such a hostile remark, so he decided not talk to the green-skinned woman anymore; it was a very wise judgment call. He was not used to being treated so viciously by a female. He usually had great command over the fairer sex, but his charms did not seem to be working on Shego. He figured that it had to do with her more than likely being a lesbian; after all, she was keeping Kim as a pet. Even though Kim had told him that they were not like that and there was nothing sexual to the relationship, he was willing to bet that Shego was just trying to stay in the closet.
“I like this one. Can you do something similar to this one for me?” Betty asked Josh while showing him the painting that she was referring to in the portfolio.
“All right. I have creative control?” he countered.
“Yes, just make it something along these lines,” she answered.
She and Josh worked out the details to the deal and then the painter went on his way, much to Shego’s delight. Betty noted her friend’s rather satisfied expression while watching the boy disappear up the street. She shook her head.
“You don’t like him, do you?” Doctor Director asked the obvious question.
“No, I don’t,” Shego answered bluntly.
“Why? Because he’s boning your precious pet?” the one-eyed woman taunted her companion. Jealousy did not suit her younger comrade, she thought.
“He’s not boning her,” the super-powered female replied.
“No? And how do you know that?”
“She said they used to date, but they don’t anymore.”
“Why? He’s cute,” Betty commented with a smirk. She was enjoying just teasing her green-skinned employee.
“He cheated on her,” Shego informed her friend with a bit of anger in her voice, which did not go unnoticed.
“Maybe he thought that she was cheating on him with you,” Doctor Director countered dismissively, like she thought that she had Shego, the pale woman noted.
“It was before she met me.”
“Okay, fine. I’ll stop trying to defend him. I don’t even know the kid,” the chief conceded.
“Good.” Shego hoped that she never had to see that little smiling bastard again or she was going to slap him around a bit before warning him to stay away for her idiotic pet unless he wanted to be castrated with a butter knife.
Shego entered the apartment and was greeted a bit overzealously in her opinion. She was in the motion of shutting the door when her shrimp charged out of the living room and leaped onto the raven-haired woman. Shego fell against the door back because the surprise attack had thrown her off balance. She instinctively tucked an arm underneath Kim to support the redhead, even though she had her legs wrapped securely around her mistress’ waist. Kim grinned widely; Shego wondered what had her already hyper brat even more overexcited then usual.
“I discovered a new species of snake!” Kim declared and planted an overjoyed kiss right on Shego’s mouth. It was not a long or passionate kiss. It was clear that Kim was just overwhelmed with delight.
“Okay, don’t get carried away,” the older woman said.
“But, I discovered a new species!”
Shego smiled a bit before making sure the door was actually closed. She held onto her pet for the simple fact that the girl was not letting go of her and walked into the living room. She sat down the sofa and the redhead was very tempted to cuddle into her, but she was way too excited. She leaned back to look at Shego while remaining on the woman to tell her just what happened.
“Okay, so, I discovered a new species of snake,” Kim said for the third time.
“You’ve already said that,” the emerald-eyed woman pointed out.
“Oh, right. Okay, so, I was in this jungle, right? And there were these scientists looking for plants. I was sitting in a tree and just relaxing when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. I thought it was a snake and figured if it was, I should go have a look. I mean, I don’t want it to bite anybody since I’m supposed to be protecting them and it was something to do. So, I go look at this snake and think it looks really weird. I had never seen a snake like it and I’ve seen lots of snakes. So, I caught it and left it with these local scientists that I know for them to look at it. They just called me and said that it’s a highly likely that it’s a brand new species of cobra! You should’ve seen this thing! It was about ten feet long!” Kim explained in very charged and energetic voice. She could not believe it; she felt like she accomplished something great by discovering a new type of snake and it had not even been completely confirmed yet. She would have to wait a little while for a sure thing, but it still felt great.
“Well, congratulations,” Shego said for lack of anything better. What was she supposed to say to someone who had made a scientific discovery? She had never been the situation before.
“Thanks! Can we have spaghetti for dinner?” Kim requested with her elfish grin in full force.
The pale woman laughed a bit. On her lap, she had a girl that had saved the world who knew how many times without asking for a reward. She was elated with having discovered a new snake species and the only thing that she wanted for her achievement was a spaghetti dinner; it was too cute in Shego’s opinion, not that she would ever, even under torture, admit to thinking such a thing. She massaged the redhead’s back for a moment while trying to get over her amusement in regards to the whole thing.
“All right, for a great scientific discovery, we will have spaghetti for dinner,” Shego declared. The least that she could do for such an accomplished rascal was to make her beloved pasta for dinner.
“Really?” Kim asked as if she was surprised. She really had not expected to get anything from her keeper. “Can I have a kiss too then?” Kim asked with a smile.
“Don’t push it,” the raven-haired female warned her pet.
“Come on, for a great scientific discovery. You like science, don’t you?”
“No, I’m not really a fan of science.”
“Come on, one kiss.”
“Please!” Kim leaned into her master as if that would help.
“No, you already kissed me at the door,” Shego pointed out.
“I did?” Kim asked in a confused tone. She had been so keyed up that she barely knew what she was doing when Shego came in.
“Well, this is different. I want you to kiss me.”
“Please,” the redhead purred into her mistress’ neck.
“Okay, one kiss. But, no funny business,” Shego replied.
Kim smiled for a quick moment. She leaned back up to face her owner. Shego glanced down at her little monster. There was a sparkle in her olive green eyes and the older woman realized that her petite pet was a darling little creature. She bent down and Kim fought the urge to grin. Shego kissed her on the end of her nose. The redhead’s expression dropped.
“There’s your kiss,” Shego said.
Kim should have expected such stingy behavior from her mistress; after all, the woman hogged all of the covers in the bed. Fine, her keeper wanted to be her usual selfish self then Kim decided that she would be her usual naughty self. She launched herself at Shego and assaulted her master with her mouth. Shego made a surprised noise as her pet’s lips touched her own, but the kiss was over quickly. Kim was not looking to over-the-top or passionate, only annoying.
“That’s my kiss,” the hero declared.
“Bad girl,” Shego reprimanded her pet and then she thumped the little imp on the nose with her index finger. Yeah, her pet was definitely a mischievous little imp.
“Ow! Pet abuse!” the younger woman whined while covering her nose with both hands to protect it from anymore thrashing.
Kim was lying across Shego’s lap. Shego was massaging Kim’s shoulder, heating her hand with her powers slightly to be more effective. The girl had injured her shoulder slightly while out on a mission. It was very sore, but there was no horrible bruising or anything to be alarmed about. She did wince every now and then when the rubdown got a little too rough.
“How’d you fall out of this tree again?” the green-skinned woman inquired.
“It was either fall out of the tree or get shot. I picked the tree,” Kim replied.
“You’ve got dangerous hobbies.”
“So do you.”
“Yes, but I pick up a check every couple of weeks for my worries. You just pick up cuts and bruises,” the owner pointed out.
“Yeah. Shego,” Kim said in a moment of seriousness.
“What?” the pale woman replied while trying to focus on the girl’s shoulder.
“What would you say if I told you I want to study venomous snakes as a career?” the redhead asked curiously.
“This is because you found that new snake?” Shego guessed.
“Well, yeah, but I’ve also thought a lot about it,” Kim answered.
Shego did not doubt the olive-eyed adventurer on that. She knew her pet was impulsive to a fault, but some things the redhead seemed to think very hard on. Now, she knew that her little monster had already spent over a year trying to figure out just what she should be getting a masters degree in. Obviously, her future was very important to her.
“So, how much is a lot?” Shego asked just to play with her brat.
“I want to be a herpetologist. It actually fits with my lifestyle since I travel so much. I can study reptiles and amphibians all over the world.”
“A herpetologist?” the green-skinned female echoed just because she had never heard of such a word before.
“Yeah, a person that studies reptiles and amphibians. Like I said, it fits with my lifestyle. I’d be able to do the save the world thing while being out in the field. I can pick up things to study in my travels. Out in the field I can make my own hours. If it ever gets to the point where I have my lab, then I could make my own hours there,” Kim explained why she decided to do such a thing.
The redhead knew that she never had a soft spot for the animals that she just decided to study, but she did have a love for a great deal of their habitats. As she thought about it, she could learn to love reptiles and amphibians because she loved catching them. It was thrilling to chase down cold-blooded creatures.
“You want your own lab?” Shego inquired.
“Well, I think it would be nice. Just a little one. You see, I want to study the animals along with their venoms and poisons. They might have medical uses. Maybe I can develop a better form of anti-venom or a way to combat the poisons in some other way. Having my own lab would just be a way to cut out at any time if I need to, but other than that I’m sure I could get a job at a university or a zoo or something. I could start a reptile park or something if I ever got enough specimens. There are so many possibilities,” the redhead pointed out.
“You’d need money to do that,” Shego pointed out.
“Right,” Kim groaned.
“Do you like photography?” the officer seemed to ask out of the blue.
“Well, you do travel all over the world, ever thought of taking pictures and selling those off for some scratch?” Shego suggested.
“No. Wow, Shego you’re brilliant!” Kim grinned. She liked photography, but it never occurred to her to photograph anything that she ever did. She could make some money through photography.
“I know, but I try not to brag,” the pale woman remarked.
“So, what do you think of my being a herpetologist?”
“I don’t give a damn. It’s not like you don’t stupidly risk your life every day as it is. As long as you pick up a pay check while doing it, might as well do it. You’re the lunatic that likes snakes and shit,” Shego replied.
Kim nodded and smiled a bit. She had never really thought that she liked snakes until she had been told that she had found a new species. When she was told how good it was that she found that snake, she realized how important it was to study snakes and other reptiles. The cobra that she had discovered could be helped to identify if people had been bitten by the mysterious snake and mistakenly identified it as a known viper. It was important to know what kind of snake it was that bit a person to treat the toxins properly, so if people in the past had been bitten by the new snake, they would not have known the type and it would have been much more difficult to treat the venomous bite. A person was likely to die if the person was not sure what kind of snake struck the person. So, it was important and helpful work, which was right up her alley.
The redhead then considered how much she truly liked searching for snakes and lizards; she actually liked searching for animals in general. She had to focus, though, and she could see herself focusing on herpetology. It would be fun, not just catching them, but studying them too.
“Princess,” Shego said in a low voice.
“Yeah?” Kim replied.
“Just because careful with those snakes.”
“Don’t worry about it. If I get tagged, I call up Wade and I’ve got a ride in at least half a minute and at most five minutes. I’ll be able to get medical attention in time if something goes wrong,” the redhead assured her owner. It made her feel all warm inside that Shego actually verbally expressed worry for her.
Kim was sitting with her usual crew in Bueno Nacho. She had two bits of information for them, but first, they had to watch with disgust as Ron managed to push an entire naco in his mouth. The ladies had never seen anything so revolting.
“And you actually kiss this thing, huh?” Monique said to Yori. The ninja could not even manage a retort; she was too busy staring at her boyfriend in sheer horror and disbelief.
“Well, thanks to Ron’s display, my news won’t seem as random or completely insane. I’m going to be a herpetologist,” Kim announced.
“A herp-a-what?” Monique asked.
“A herpetologist. I’m going to study reptiles and amphibians,” Kim clarified her statement.
“Wait, you picked a career?” the chocolate-eyed girl asked incredulously. She thought that she had heard it all now.
“Bingo,” the redhead confirmed.
“Aw, our little Kimmie’s growing up,” Monique teased.
“Hey, wait, them whatchamacallits on nature channels. They’ve got some dangerous jobs,” Ron pointed out after swallowing most of the food in his mouth.
“Ron, what do I do that’s not dangerous?” Kim countered.
“She’s got you there, naco-boy. Even going home is an adventure with her on some days,” Monique commented.
“The dangers of being a pet,” Yori added.
“Oh, no, you guys have got Yori digging on me,” the hero playfully groaned.
“Okay, you guys have got me there, but why reptiles, K.P? Why not naked mammals?” the blonde boy suggested while Rufus took a bow.
“I think I’ve been studying those long enough,” the redhead replied.
“I think we all have,” the fashion diva concurred.
“So, Kim, what’s the other reason you called us here?” Ron asked curiously. He wondered how she could top having picked a career.
“Oh, here it comes right now,” Kim replied while motioning to the door. “Hey, Felix.” She waved a bit.
“Hey, everybody,” the brunette boy greeted the group with a smile.
Next time: Everybody welcomes Felix and they do a bit of hanging out. Shego learns that it’s not always fun to do her job and gains a new pest in her life. Could her life get anymore annoying?