I can’t breathe. It hurts too much inhale or exhale. All I can do is cry. I’m so scared; I’ve never felt this way before. She has such power over me to hurt me this way, to scare me this way. I’d rather be lost at sea and surrounded by great white sharks than feeling the way I do right now. I know considering who I am that might not seem so big, but I’d really prefer anything to feel this way. It issothe drama.
Shego cradled her heartbroken, traumatized, impish munchkin. The hero was not getting any better as the seconds ticked by and her mistress remained silent; she had asked a very important question and she desperately desired the answer to it, even though she was certain that it would shatter her heart and soul into infinite pieces. She still needed to know the answer no matter what. Kim was sure that she was going to have to leave her home eventually because her master was not responding. Oh how that thought practically killed Kim on inside.
The redhead could not believe the pain that she was in. She had never experienced something so hurting and she had been injured plenty of times in her life, which was not a surprise considering how she spent much of her time. It was so agonizing that she felt like she was going to throw up from the throbbing ache coursing through her entire being.
“Don’t worry, Princess. I’m not pregnant,” Shego informed her concerned, nearly scared-to-death pet. She wished that the girl did not even know because of how much pain she was obviously in. She was never looking to cause her twerp emotional wounds like she had.
“No?” Kim asked with a whimper.
“No, the tests were all negative. I guess I should make a doctor’s appointment if my period doesn’t show up soon. I’d like to know if something is wrong with me, after all,” Shego commented, trying to make it sound like she was making a joke.
Kim breathed a sigh of relief, even though she thought that it might be inappropriate to be happy that a life had not been conceived. She noted that her adored master seemed to be relieved too. Kim wiped her tears away and Shego held her a bit closer to her as an attempt to comfort the olive-eyed girl more so than she was already doing. The redhead could feel her owner’s heartbeat against her cheek. The older woman kissed the top of her munchkin’s head.
“So, you okay now?” the pale woman inquired.
“I guess. I just… I thought that you were going to throw me out again and I don’t want to leave,” Kim admitted. Her mistress knew that already, of course, but she felt it was necessary to say.
“I didn’t throw you out the first time. Stop being such a brat and come on to the table before the food gets cold,” Shego stated, trying to trivialize the whole situation now because she felt that the nerve-wracking part was over.
“If you did…if you were…would you keep me? I mean, how could you keep me?” the redhead asked. She would not mind staying if her mistress ever did have a baby; she did not care that she would not be able to be a pet anymore. She just wanted to be with her mistress in any way. It was just that the father of the baby might have a problem with her being around.
“Don’t worry about it, Pumpkin. It’s not going to happen,” the green-skinned woman tried to assure her little monster. She did not want children and she was not going to let it happen. She was now determined to not allow that to happen.
“It could’ve happened just now,” the redhead pointed out. They were both all too aware of how close it to happening.
“Fine, it could’ve happened, but it didn’t and it damn sure won’t. I’ll just have to be more careful. I don’t plan on having any brats. I’ve already got you to look after. I don’t need or want anymore,” Shego remarked.
Kim smiled, hearing those words were rather reassuring. It made the olive-eyed hero feel very loved and appreciated. She had faith now that her mistress would not be so quick to get rid of her unless something really big came up. Hopefully, nothing really big ever came up because she never wanted to leave and she never wanted her owner to have to consider getting rid of her. She also never wanted to feel the way that she just had; it had felt like murdering her would have actually been doing her a favor.
The pair stayed cuddled up for a little while. The pale woman kissed her pet’s forehead a few more times, making the girl feel better with each action. She really did not mean to cause her elf such agony and she wanted the girl to know that without her having to apologize. The odd thing was that it did not even cross her mind to blame the whole ordeal that they had just gone through on Kim, even though Kim had been the one touching stuff that was not hers, which would have been the way that Shego looked at things if she had not been so wrapped up in worrying about her brat.
The two then went and had dinner like they always did. The next day, Shego found out that she was seriously not pregnant. She had never felt so relieved in all of her life. Just the idea of possibly carrying that man’s offspring made her want to violently retch. Children with Drakken? That had to be a for real sin because it just sounded so wrong. She would definitely have to be much more careful.
Kim was hanging out in a rainforest; oh, how she loved it. She was not there for a mission for once. She was just having a good time.
The redheaded explorer scaled a tree with great ease, attempting to get up to the top and seize a boa. She was helping out a PhD candidate collect snakes for a study he was conducting on comparing the size of the same types of snake from different regions. She needed to get the field work credit and Big Mike needed someone light enough to climb trees considering the fact that he was practically a giant and there was no way that the thin branches would ever support him, so it worked out well for both of them. They were having a good time too.
“Hey, Kim, are you doing all right?” Big Mike called up to her from the forest floor. She was in a tree that was about the same height as a nine-story building.
“Yeah, I’m cool,” she replied while continuing up the tree.
“You still see it?”
“Yeah, it’s not moving,” she reported.
“Be careful. It looks like a big one,” he cautioned her, knowing that petite redhead had a habit of going for things without thinking it seemed, not caring how far she was from the forest floor.
“I’ve got it. No big,” she assured him.
Big Mike did not argue with her because he was very aware that she was capable of handling herself, which was one of the reasons that he had asked her to come along with him. Big Mike had gone to high school with Kim; they even shared a detention together once, so he knew a little bit about her and what she could do. She would have never guessed that he would be a PhD candidate before she was, but he was twenty-five now, so she guessed that it was all right and it was nice to see that he had gotten his act together because back in high school, he had actually considered dropping out a few times.
The giant fellow was an expert on big snakes, constrictors. The slender hero was looking more into handling venomous snakes once she was finished with all of her schooling. Big snakes did fit him, though since he was Big Mike and all. She was enjoying hunting down large snakes with him.
Kim crawled to the edge of the branch of the tree for the huge boa. She snatched the serpent and laughed in triumph. The branch suddenly snapped and she went down along with limbless creature that was very secure in her grip. She was not worried about her current falling predicament; in fact, she was still laughing all the while plummeting down about nine stories with no net at the bottom. She giggled all the way down and landed safely in her partner’s huge arms.
“You have got to be more careful, Kim,” Big Mike commented. That was the third tree she had fallen out of and by far the tallest. It seemed that she only dropped out of the trees that she would surely die from the fall if he did not catch her.
“If I were more careful, you wouldn’t have half the snakes you do,” she pointed out with a smile. Besides, it was not like she did not have a plan if he was not there to catch her; she just trusted him to catch her. So far, he was much better than any safety net.
“Yeah, well, I can’t risk losing you then, can I?” he countered.
“No, I suppose not. Come on, let’s go hunt some more pythons,” she suggested with an innocent, carefree smile.
“Okay,” he agreed while putting her down and taking the snake from her. They bagged their catch and moved on, searching for some serpents.
Shego came into the apartment and was not ambushed for the first time in a long time. She wondered if her monster was up to something, especially when she did not see the olive-eyed girl sleeping on the sofa as she usually was when Shego failed to get a hug at the door. She quietly marched through the house, looking for a chance to bust her pet if she was doing anything wrong or just stupid. She located her girl by the extra room, struggling with something it would appear.
“Pumpkin,” Shego called in a stern voice. She could not make out what her imp was doing exactly because the wall was blocking her view just a little.
“Shego!” Kim gasped and flashed her curious mistress a very nervous grin. She laughed a bit while trying to shove something into the study/gym.
“What are you doing?” the pale woman inquired with an arched eyebrow as she stood a couple of feet from her pet in the hallway. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed while waiting for her girl’s answer.
“Um…nothing?” the redhead guessed.
“Looks a lot like something.”
“No!” Kim insisted that it was nothing at all while attempting to get the “nothing” to stay in the room.
“Yes.” Shego began stepping closer to the room.
“No! It’s nothing! I mean it!” Kim promised with way too much vigor in her owner’s opinion.
Shego, of course, was not buying any of it. “Me thinks the pet doth protest too much,” she remarked as she walked over to see her petite rascal was attempting to untangle herself from a twenty-foot serpent. “Princess, what the fuck is that?” she demanded to know in forceful, but calm tone. It was not so much that she was enraged as she confused as to what the snake was doing in the house.
“Um…an African rock python,” the redhead answered with a bit of an uneasy smile. She was not too sure how her mistress would take having the twenty foot serpent in her home, but she doubted that Shego would take it well. Come on, how many people would take it well to have a snake that was capable of killing them in their home and not in a cage? No one that Kim could think of.
“So, what’s it doing here instead of in Africa?” the super-powered woman inquired, still speaking in a calm tone. She was not angry with the snake being in the house; she just did not understand why a monster reptile was not where it belonged, namely in a jungle somewhere.
“It looks like it’s doing something.”
“No, it’s really not.”
“I see, so it popped into say hi and is going to be heading back to Africa in a few minutes,” Shego guessed.
“Then how long is it going to be here?”
“Just until tomorrow. Big Mike couldn’t get permission to carry this one, so he left it with me. I easily got permission and I just have to hold it for the night,” the adventurer explained.
“So, how dangerous is this thing?”
“Not very in actual fact or in your warped little mind?” the raven-haired woman inquired to be clear about things. She did not know much about big snakes, but from the look of the size of that one, it might be capable of eating one of them and she would like a bit of a heads up if it could.
“Um…I’m going to go with my warped little mind to be on the safe side of things. Don’t worry. It ate before we left, so it should still be digesting its last meal and everything should be fine,” Kim replied with a huge, anxious grin.
“Uh-huh. Is that why it’s trying to strangle you?” the pale woman asked.
“Constrict. It’s not the same thing.”
“Both leave you dead, which is the important thing. It better be gone by tomorrow,” the apartment owner declared.
“I’m sure it will be. Big Mike needs this beauty.”
“You know a guy named Big Mike?” Shego asked incredulously. There were people looking to gain higher educations with the word “big” in front of their name? Oh, it was a sad day for education.
“Yeah. Big guy, the name suits him,” Kim replied.
“Whatever. Try not to become dinner while I go make dinner. I don’t want to have to fry the snake to get you back,” the green-skinned woman remarked and she left the girl to struggle with the python.
Shego and Kim were sitting down and having breakfast, hot cereal for the pet and a bagel for the mistress, who seemed to like her pet to eat better and healthier than she did on some occasions. Shego was also reading the newspaper and having a cup of tea with her bagel. She happened to glance out into the living room as something caught her eye.
“Princess,” the older woman said.
“Yeah?” Kim answered.
“Why is the rock python in the living room?” Shego inquired in a calm tone, like it was normal to have a twenty-foot reptile in the living room.
“Maybe he wanted to watch TV,” the redhead replied with an amused smile.
“Pumpkin,” Shego growled. She did not mind having the snake in the house, but she did not want it wandering about the place or the girl might end up losing it. The last thing that they needed was to wake up a month from now and find the snake trying to eat one of them.
“What? It’s not doing anything. Maybe it was too hot or cold in the room. Maybe it wants some water or something.”
The olive-eyed girl hopped up from her seat and went to the kitchen. She filled a pie pan with some water and took it into the living room. She placed the liquid in front of the serpent and then returned to her breakfast. Shego glanced over at the snake and then focused back on her paper since the serpent seemed content in the living room with the water next to it.
“When’s Big Mike coming?” the raven-haired female asked, trying to ignore the fact that she had just addressed a grown man by the name of “Big Mike.” It was too early to be annoyed, she decided. Besides, it was her day off, so she might as well relax and not let silly things bring her down.
“Sometime this morning. He’s going to want the snake as soon as possible to go back to school and start his research,” Kim explained.
The slim hero was glad that her mistress was not freaked out or frightened in any way about having a large snake in the house. Since her future lay in snakes and other reptiles, it was nice to see her owner was comfortable with what other people might consider creepy-crawler type animals. Her thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door.
The redhead went to answer the door, assuming that it was Big Mike coming for his precious serpent. She found out that it was not the young man she was expecting, but it was Doctor Drakken. She sighed; it was like he did not know what a telephone even was unless he was using it at some ungodly hour on her master’s day off.
“Come on in,” the girl pretended to invite him in because he would come in whether she said something or not.
“Shego!” Drakken hollered, ignoring the fact that Kim had even answered the door. He did not greet her in any way and she did not care about that. She did not need his acknowledgement.
The green-skinned woman sighed; it was much too early to have to deal with him. Apparently, it was no longer too early to be annoyed. She fought against the migraine that was attempting to work its way to the front of her head already thanks to his presence. Drakken entered the living room and screamed; a high-pitched, girly, frightened wail.
“Ah! What’s that?” the blue scientist shrieked while pointing down at the large snake.
“What? It’s just a snake and it’s not even thinking about you. Stop being such a baby,” Shego commented as she entered the living room.
“That’s not a snake. It’s a dragon!” he declared.
“Calm down,” Shego said with a tired sigh. He was freaking out over nothing. The serpent did not even seem to care that he was there. He was getting on her nerves after being in the house for five whole seconds.
Drakken did not calm down and Shego ushered him into the kitchen, where he would not have to see the snake and, hopefully, he would stop acting like the thing was planning on devouring him when he was not looking. The redhead went back to her breakfast since the show was over. Not even two minutes later, there was another knock at the door. She hopped back up and went back to the door. She opened it and a dark blue shirt was blocking the doorway.
“Big Mike,” Kim grinned and greeted him with a hug around the waist; it was a good thing that Shego was in the kitchen because she would have hated to have witnessed the greeting.
“Hey, Kim. How’s my rock python?” he asked.
“Basking in the living room, watching reruns of old cartoons. Come on in,” the olive-eyed girl replied while moving out of the way in order for him to get in. He had to duck down to make it through the doorway.
“Nice place you got here,” Mike commented as Kim directed him to the living room with a motion of her hand. She closed the door behind him while he looked around the apartment.
“Thanks, but it’s not mine,” she informed him.
“Right. What, it’s your owner’s?” he asked with a laugh.
“My owner’s?” she echoed. She did not think that it was common knowledge that she was a pet, but if Big Mike knew than a lot of other people had to know because she did not speak casually with him like that.
“It’s just a running joke that we all have in the biology department that you’re someone’s pet because you walk around in that collar all the time. We call you Kimmie the kitten when you’re not around,” he explained with a good natured, amused smile.
“Oh,” Kim said with a laugh. They all thought that it was joke, not that it was reality. Well, that was good, even though it was a bit disheartening to know that they talked about her when she was not around. But, they could have said worse things, she guessed.
“Oh, there’s my snake. Lovely,” Big Mike commented when he caught sight of his snake doing just as the little redhead said it was.
“Yeah, I told you I’d take really good care of it,” Kim stated with a smile.
“That you did. I didn’t doubt you for a second.”
The eccentric hero watched as Big Mike gathered up his serpent. She then bid him farewell and walked him to the door. Once he was gone, she returned to her breakfast, only to discover that it was cold. Oh, that was just great, she thought sarcastically.
“Shego!” Kim whined, hoping to get some attention, but her mistress was busy with her big, blue coward.
Oh, yeah, that was just really great, the redhead thought with a huff. Okay, her breakfast was ruined, her day with her mistress was interrupted by Doctor Drakken, and she was not getting any acknowledgment because he was terrified of a snake that was not even in the apartment anymore. Screw it, she thought; she was going back to bed before something serious happened. She could take a hint. She was not about to be the punch-line to some cosmic joke that day.
By the time that Kim woke up again, the apartment was completely silent. She looked around from the loft and did not see any signs of life. She leaped down and wandered into the living room, thinking that she might have been left all alone. She found her master curled up on the sofa with a book. She did not hesitate in going over to the pale woman.
“I was wondering when you’d get your lazy ass up,” Shego commented as her pet lay across her.
“What time is it?” Kim asked curiously.
“A little after three.”
“Man, a five hour nap. That’s not like me.”
“Don’t worry about it. Days off are made for things like that. You rip and run around so much that you should catch up on your sleep whenever you can,” the emerald-eyed woman commented while subconsciously caressing her girl’s scalp.
“What happened to Drakken?” Kim inquired while leaning into the older woman’s touch. She was close to purring from the simple contact.
“He kept freaking out about the snake, so he left on his own.”
“But, the snake was gone like a minute after he got here,” Kim pointed out; although in the back of her mind, she was considering going out to find another big snake to hold in the house for a day or so if it kept him away.
“Don’t argue it. You act like you want him here anyway,” Shego riposted.
The redhead only smiled. Okay, she did not want him there. He cut into her time with her beloved owner, so of course she did not want him around. She did not like the man much, which she did not think was so awful; after all, she was fairly certain that her master did not like him much either. He was not a very likeable fellow point blank.
Kim recalled back when she first met Drakken, before she even knew her mistress. She did not like him much back then and she did not even have the excuse that he cut into her time with Shego or that he was Shego’s boyfriend. He was just an unbearable jackass in her opinion, simple as that, and she knew quite a few people agreed with her.
She was not too sure why Shego stayed with Drakken, but she had been thinking about it on and off ever since she had met Shego’s parents. The couple did not seem to like each other too much, but they were still married and, as far as Kim could tell, that influenced her keeper.
Maybe Shego was looking for a relationship similar to the one that her parents shared, the redhead considered. Could she beat Drakken if that was the case, Kim wondered. She certainly would keep trying until the very last day of the contest, maybe even longer than that if necessary. Hey, her “kimness” would demand it and she was fairly certain that she would not be able to function properly if she ever lost Shego.
Next time: It’s cold outside, but not inside. Some more cuddle time after so much anguish.