I watch her cradle the lifeless body of her son in her arms, as she sways. My heart suddenly aches as i saw her. What is happening? Ain't that voice said “… the phoenix will grant her power of life to 2 special persons. It have been then selected the two of you. Your children will be granted life” and how come only my Kimberly is alive, and her son died? Does it mean that she is not the chosen one? BUt isn't it that fate is the only one that could grant entrance to those who deserved, or chosen?
I calmed Kimberly on the floor, then i slowly crawled towards her, her pain is radiating towards me, i can feel her heart squeezed out in agony, as if i am the one who have lost a child…what is this feeling? I am now close to her, situated at her back, i looked at her shaking shoulder, her soft mourning, i wanted to mourn with her…but why should i? No i have to be strong…yes i have to be strong for her. I raised my arms and embraced her, i rest my face on her back, i felt her shaking stop, the sound of mourning died down.
“Wy are you doing this?” She ask of me, I cannot answer…because in reality, i myself don't know why i am doing what i am doing right now…
“I - I -” I stutter when i don't know what to say…and that is obvious, “I have no idea…do you want me to leave?” I ask, if this woman answered me yes, i will leave…but i know my heart will feel heavy.
She shook her head, leaning on my arms instead of pulling away, her action brought forth a nostalgic feeling inside of me, a feeling as if this woman belongs here…here in my arms, “Thank you” She said, then i heard her cry softly.
We stayed that way for hours, it was Kimberly's hug that pulls me away from this nostalgia, “Mommy” that was all my Kimberly have said. We both look at my daughter, and she gave my daughter a very warm smile…and that smile have instilled in my memories.
Me and Jonathan stayed for days at Zahn's place, helping her out, a day after her son's burial, we told her that we have to go back to America. She understood, but her eyes looks different…it's as if she wanted me to stay.
We were on the port already, and Zahn went with us to see us go, she was holding Kimberly in her arms, and my daughter adores Zahn very much. IN the little time that they've been together, Kimberly have grown to like Zahn's company…and i let her, perhaps because i feel its all i can do after her son died.
Jonathan have entered the ship, saying he is giving me and Zahn some more time alone, he took Kimberly with him, and i was left there with zahn.
“Stay with me Mim” She said, her voice is firm, sure.
“Stay with me…it is supposed to be our destiny”
“No, the destiny is for our children to marry”
“What children? Your Kimberly have no one to marry…and there is still a destiny”
I look at her, my mouth gaping, “If one is dead, isn't that a clear sign that there is no destiny to fulfill?” I told her, though deep within me, i knew i wanted to stay by her side…but i have Kimberly and i love my husband.
“That's what i thought too” She bowed down, and after a while, she pulled a small book in her bag, “Here, read this…I don't know if you are a believer, but this is all the things i gathered about the Phoenix. What is its power, what does it do”
“There is no scientific literature to back this up?” I ask her, reaching for the book, she shook her head, “Then what is the reason for me to read this if this are but just beliefs?”
“Faith…and this-” She balled her fist and placed it in the middle of her chest.
“I don't know how it happened, and if it is possible, but i fell in love with you”
My eyes widens, My heart could have run a mile per minute after her declaration, but then it dies down after realizing the life i have to come to, “It is not possible” I answered her, looking down so not to see the reaction of her face, i shook my head strongly, “It cannot be possible…your just saying that because your alone now, you have no son to care for anymore…no husband” I said without thinking, and after these words left my mouth…i knew i will regret it.
I did not see how she reacted on my declaration, but i can feel her, she is sad, agonizing, breaking…like dying, and i hate myself for making her feel that. I lift my head to look at her, but she isn't there anymore…i look around and found her, her back on me, running away from where i am standing.
I wanted to move and run after her, but my legs are heavy, and i cannot move, and my brain is battling inside if i run after her or just go inside the ship. The stronger part of me wanted to run for her, but i knew that if i do that now, i will not be able to see Jonathan and Kimberly anymore. My rational side tells me that i already have a family, a lovely daughter and a loving husband. What more should i ask?
It took me sometime to finally decide. And the rational side of me won. I turn my back from the people outside and walk towards my family.
It has been years since i opened this diary. I stopped putting in entries the moment i separated with Zahn…but the irony is…not even burrying this book in a file of junk in the attic made me forget Zahn. Every night since the day we parted, her face haunts me. It is her my body aches for, my body longed for. It is her face i see when i made love with Jonathan…when i reach the peak of pleasure…I know i am betraying my husband. He loves me…and i want to return that love by being faithful to him.
He laid there beside me, he draped his arm around my waist, my back on him, i tried to carress that hand on my abdomen, but like before…my body wishes that arms to be Zahn's.
“Find her” Jonathan whispered to my ears. My eyes widens at his words, “I know something happened in that temple”
“What are you saying?”
“You are in love with that woman…Zahn”
“Shhh” He smiled and pressed a finger on my lips, “Hear me out Mim” I nodded, “You we're never the same the moment you entered that ship back to America, 3 years ago. I never saw you smile the way you smiled at me when we were so in love…I love you Mim, and i wanted you to be happy…and i know right now it is her that makes you happy, and i am fine with it”
I was dumbstruck…he knew but never voiced it out.
“You have said her name many times when we made love, when your in a deep sleep. Those are people's unguarded moment…and it is her you were thinking. I thought it will passed, that i am still the man of your dreams, the man who'll brings you pleasure…i've waited for 3 years…and now i raised my hand on the air…surrendering.”
I turned to look at him, my eyes are clouded with tears that is falling from my eyes, “Jonathan…I- I can't, i have an obligation as your wife and as a mother to Kimberly-”
“I am not giving up Kimberly” I said, and i embraced him. He returned my embrace as we drifted off to sleep.
I was shocked to see the place where Jonathan told me and Kimberly that we are going to have a vacation. Of all places, he took us to China. At Yin xia, in the best resort there is.
I never thought that my own husband could plan something like this. I have no idea what to feel, betrayed or overjoyed? In the end, i made up my mind that i will just enjoy this vacation.
Funny that in three days that we have spent our time here, i never once thought of Zahn until one day, my husband gave me a card and ask me to go there. No matter how i threatened jonathan, he never told me what to expect, he said it is a surprise for me.
It took me almost all afternoon to look for the address he gave me. And it was a real surprise…
I stand there, not moving when my eyes met hers. She stopped her work, straightened herself and just look at me. I felt my heart went ballistic inside my chest, its the same feeling from 3 years ago, and Zahn still looks beautiful, strong. I cannot feel my legs, i know i am stocked here where i am standing.
I saw her run towards me, then she held me in her arms, she embraced me, and i melt in that embrace. We were like that for a minute or so…then Zahn pulled away, and she began kissing me, on my cheeks, my forehead, my nose, then she pressed her lips on mine, my mind were racing, should i kiss back or pull away? The rational side of me wanted to pull away, but i need Zahn right now, and the feel of her lips pressed to mine is exhilarating, so i decided to kiss back. The passionate kiss becomes hard and needy, i gasp when i felt her tongue touch my lips, Zahn's tongue made an entrance once my lips parted, and i let her.
My body quivers as i felt her hand touch my body, she pushed me to the wall without breaking our kiss…after sometime we pulled away, panting for lack of air, then her eyes met mine. There were no words, just those expression saying we both need each other.
I leaned forward again to catch her lips with mine, the longing increased at each breath, i felt her gather me in her strong arms and i pulled away, i look at her as i let her take me to somewhere private…we ended up going inside her barn.
Zahn started kissing me again, on my neck, savoring every parts she could see, then her kisses went lower, she uncovered my collarbone and shoulders and started showering it with kisses, i closed my eyes as the feeling inside of me intensified, Oh i needed her badly.
We help each other undress, carressing bodies at the same time, i am already half naked when Zahn pushed me to the floor gently, then she leaned forward and continue on kissing, caressing me, her hands roam on my body and i reacted instantly, i shook everytime she touches me, this feeling my body have longed for for years now.
She pulled my last clothes off me, as her hand carresses my legs, then my thigh, “Zahn” i murmured in her ear, i saw her smile, and she brought her hands up to where i imagined her to be, and i felt my world plunge into darkness as my brain stop responding with the pleasure that comes forth from her touch…and i felt our body mended as one as we simultaneously reach the peak of pleasure…
Kim and Shego's mouth is wide open when Monique stop reading.
Ron is looking at the two woman, his eyes wide.
“What the fuck-” Shego said in a very confused tone.
Kim just nodded.
A/N: Sorry, i said in the last chapter that Kim and Shego won't be in this chapter…but atleast they are at the last part… So next will be a continuation to the Mim-zahn angle, and Kim and Shego will be there already.