Walking the Line

Problem Sixteen

Angering your pet


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TITLE: Angering your pet

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: Still don’t own the characters or the premise.

SUMMARY: This is AU like a mug. Shego is a cop and Kim…well, you won't believe what Kim is.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Shego/Drakken, Other, Friendship, Romance

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

NOTE: Warning folks, there’s only three chapters left after this one. Enjoy.

Words: 3998

Shego caressing her pet.

Imagine that your fish was angry with you, would you notice? Would you care? What if your dog was upset with you and remained that way after you attempted to bribe the dog with treats? What do you do with a pet like that?

Kim was helping Monique pack up her things to move out since school had come to a close and the fashion queen required assistance. The chocolate-eyed girl stated that she needed the Possible genius that was Kim to mathematically calculate how to cram all of her things into her tiny car. The redhead made it feasible to put all of the stuff into the small vehicle, but she hoped that no one else had to get into the automobile because not even she would be able to figure out how that would work and she was the girl that could do anything. There was also the issue of Monique needing to see behind her.

“I hope your driving has improved and you don’t really need all three mirrors,” Kim commented with a teasing smile.

“I can drive, girl. You know it and I know it,” Monique declared.

“You can do a lot of things, driving isn’t one of them.”

“I can drive. So, will I be seeing you back in Middleton some time soon or are you just staying here?”

“I don’t really know.”

“Kim…” Monique sighed. What was she going to do with her girl? She hated just watching someone like Kim wasting away. It was not right for someone like Kim to just not do anything.

“Monique, can you just let me not know something, please?” the redhead implored desperately. She was so sick of hearing about the stupid subject. It was pounding the back her head everyday, hounding her, and people bringing it up every three seconds just was not helping. Why could they not understand that they were not helping?

“You haven’t known for a long time. You need to know something. You can’t keep this up. You need to do something.”

“I will…” Kim vowed weakly.

“Soon,” Monique stressed.

The teen hero groaned. “I hate knowing stuff. I hate this. I’m going to go bang my head against a wall until I am on the same intellectual level as a rock.”

“Yeah, right. No Possible would think to do such a thing and you’re a Possible. You just need to figure out which branch you’re on. Look, I want to see you home before I have school again. If I don’t, you’re going to really upset me, girl,” Monique warned her friend.

Kim only laughed, even though she thought that Monique might make good on her threat and she doubted that she wanted to see what kind of punishment the designer could come up with because Monique could be very creative when necessary. She bid her good friend farewell. They kissed each other on the cheek and Monique hopped into her car. Kim waved as her friend drove off. Monique wondered if she would have to wait for school to start again before she saw her dear friend.

“If only the girl could just make a decision on this,” Monique muttered.

“What the hell are these?” Shego muttered as she and Betty started to pull out all sorts of advanced science books from the duffle bag that had been sitting in the corner of the loft. They flipped through them and noticed that there were different color highlights all through out the pages and notes written in every margin space possible.

“Chem. books,” Doctor Director said while pulling out chemistry books that were at the bottom of the bag. There were six thick, paperback chemistry books in a bag that held over fourteen books. They looked just as used as the other books that they were sharing a bag with.

“What’s she doing with all of these fucking science books?” Shego wondered out loud.

“Hell if I know. You’re the one that suggested going through her stuff. From what I can see, you were right about one thing, she probably isn’t as stupid as she acts,” the one-eyed woman commented.

“Okay…what now?” the emerald-eyed woman asked in a bewildered voice. She was so confused. Her pet was into science? Deeply into advanced science from what she could tell because of how used the books were and all of the notes that were penned inside of them. But, the girl acted so… well, stupid.

“Are you okay?” Betty inquired because of her friend’s bemused tone. She guessed that the knowledge that not only might her pet be smart and acting, but also a criminal was a bit heavy, even for the apathetic Shego.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Maybe we should clean this stuff up before she comes in,” the younger woman suggested in a distant tone.

“Why? She probably won’t notice considering the way the place looked before we even got here,” the chief figured.

“Yeah, well, let’s at least put the books back in the bag and try to make it look like we didn’t just rip through her stuff,” Shego replied.

Betty shrugged and did not argue any further, even though she did not see how the brat would have any right to gripe if she did know that they had been going through her stuff; she was getting free room and board for crying out loud. They put the books back into the duffle bag and put the bag back into the corner. They then put back whatever books they could if they recalled where they had gotten them from. They tried to stack the books like they were before they went up there. They left the loft after that.

“You know, just because she’s got chem. books doesn’t mean she’s the arsonist. She didn’t have any chemicals up there,” the boss pointed out.

“I know,” her friend answered.

There was more to it than her “Princess” possibly being an arsonist in Shego’s mind. She realized that she did not know anything about her pet, except that she had strange friends and was a freelance cheerleader. But, other than that she did not know anything and she had had the girl for over a year.

The teenager seemed to be as dumb as dirt and incapable of tying her shoe without serious assistance; in fact, in the beginning of their relationship, Shego often found herself fixing her pet’s shoelaces until she just went out and bought the simple kid some slip-on sneakers to solve the problem of laces altogether. But, if that was the case, why did the girl have so many science books, many of which were so worn that it appeared she had read them a hundred times? To Shego, it seemed like she was being played somehow and she did not like being played.

Kim came in and spent the evening with Shego as usual. They lounged around on the sofa. Shego did ask what Kim had done all day and she explained that she helped Monique move out.

“School’s over then?” Shego asked.

“Yup,” Kim answered.

“So, where does your little friend live when there’s no school?”


“And your stupid friend?”

“Ron isn’t stupid,” Kim argued, knowing that she was referring to him.

“The few times I’ve seen him, he’s been stupid.”

“Well, he does weird things, but he isn’t stupid. He’s got an apartment in town. I don’t know if he’s going to go home or not for the summer,” the teenager reported.

Shego was going to ask what Kim had planned for the summer. Her friends had homes, so she thought that her pet might have one too. Why did her pet not go home?

Kim climbed up into her space to prepare for bed. She looked around and laughed a little bit. She shook her head and gathered up some of her books. She looked down at the page of one book.

“I don’t believe I was on page 253 yet,” the redhead commented to herself and then she turned her attention to one of her book stacks. “And I do believe I had a book on different skeletal structures at the bottom of that pile. Not to mention my book on the human circulatory system is nowhere to be seen. Hmm…”

The teenager went through her things and found that there was a lot amiss. She laughed a bit to herself again, but decided not to think too much on the fact that she knew her mistress had gone through her stuff. After all, she had gone through Shego’s things on plenty of occasions, so it was only right for the older woman to return the favor. She guessed that Shego did not know that the area was actually organized chaos and not pure anarchy because if she had known, she would have put everything back where she found it and Kim would have been none the wiser to the infringement on her privacy.

The teen hero put her books back the way that she liked them and wondered what her mistress thought as she went through all of her property. Her belongings did not consist of much; a lot of her things were science, math, and some philosophy books. She had a few other things like cuddle buddies and things, but Shego had bought those things for her, so there was not much of a surprise for the super-powered woman there. The books had to be a bit shocking, though.

Was her owner stunned to find out that she could read? That she was not as stupid as a can of paint? That she could do something without messing it up? She was not sure how Shego would take it. She hoped that the older female did not read too much into or she was going to be angry for no reason, or at least the wrong reason.

“It’s just books, right?” the redhead said to herself with an unsure laugh.

The redhead looked at the books. Yeah, they were just books; nothing more than books. Many of them were books read by people trying to achieve doctorates in scientific fields. But, that was no big…right?

Kim hopped down from her space and took a shower. She prepared for bed long after Shego had gone to sleep. She kept asking herself, what harm could come from her mistress knowing what kind of books she read? She tried to convince herself that it was nothing to worry about, but it was not helping. She felt a steady, uneasy feeling building inside of her.

The teen eventually went to Shego’s room after tossing and turning her own bed. She eased into the bed and curled up next to her mistress. It was all right, Kim silently promised herself. Everything was all right because she was still just Shego’s pet. She was still with Shego.

Shego woke up with her pet pressed against her and holding onto her arm like a frightened child would clutch a security blanket. From the scrunched up look on her face, the officer assumed the teen was having a bad dream. She was probably dreaming about having a real job, Shego thought as a joke.

The pale woman stared down at Kim for a moment. What did she know about the girl really? She did not know where the teen came from, why she was not with her family, why she was not in school like her wacky friends, or even why she agreed to be a pet, nothing. She did not even know why the girl was a cheerleader. She did not seem to be trying to be a professional cheerleader or a professional anything. She did not know a thing about the kid.

Kim groaned as she woke up and noticed how she was holding her owner. She guessed that she woke up first, which would have been a first if it was true. She thought that she woke up first because there was no outraged yelling or a sudden change in the room temperature thanks to Shego starting her hands up, but she glanced up and learned the truth. She laughed sheepishly while staring into Shego’s stern emerald green eyes.

“Pumpkin, what’s the rule?” Shego asked.

“No sleeping in your bed without your permission,” Kim answered.

“And what were you just doing?”

“Sleeping in your bed without your permission.”

“You’ve got five seconds to move it.”

Kim shot out of the bed with her mistress hot on her heels. She bolted out to the living room and slid on the floor, suffering some carpet burns on her legs since she was in shorts, and came to halt safely underneath her box. That did not stop Shego from pounding on the top of the box several times with her fists.

“Stop hitting my box!” Kim whined.

“Come out and take your thrashing then,” Shego replied.

“Stop it!” the teenager wailed again.

“Come out.”

“No, only if you stop being mad.”

The apartment owner shook her head; her pet was such a pathetic creature all of the time. Always whiny and everything; simply being pathetic. But, if her pet was so pitiful, why had she so daringly leaped from that very high bridge without any thought or fear? It bothered Shego the more that she thought about it.

“Come on out, Princess. We’ll have some pancakes for breakfast,” Shego offered in a distant tone.

“Really? With cinnamon?” Kim asked, not leaving her cardboard fortress. For all she knew, the pancakes could be a trick and the older female would get her once she came out from under the box.

“Sure, why not,” the elder woman answered with a shrug.

Kim only came out from under the box when she smelled the food cooking because that way she knew that the suggestion had not been some ploy to lore her out into the open and get hit with something like a pillow; her master was good for hitting her with pillows when she least suspected it. She went to the table while Shego put her plate down and put Kim’s plate down. The teenager dove into the meal of pancakes and scrambled eggs; she loved it when Shego made pancakes, especially with cinnamon. The elder woman sat down and started eating too.

“So, what’re we going to do today? We can go to the park and play Frisbee. We haven’t done that in a really long time,” the redhead pointed out.

“Because it’s stupid and boring,” Shego replied.

“Well, how else am I supposed to get exercise? You never play with me anymore!” the teen whined.

“I’ve got work to do. I don’t have time to always spend playing with a crybaby punk like you. You know you should try working too, you little whiny, begging, crybaby leech,” the officer barked.

Kim, for once, actually looked offended by the insult. She suddenly stopped eating her favorite breakfast and retreated back to her box. She crawled underneath the cardboard container and stayed there. Shego scoffed.

“Sulk all you want. You’re not hurting me by not eating,” the apartment owner said.

The teenager did not respond and she remained underneath her box. Shego ignored her pet and finished her breakfast. She then went to the sofa to relax; it was thankfully her day off. She turned on the television to keep her mind busy and that way, she would avoid looking at that stupid box that her stupid pet was moping under. She was just trying to get attention, Shego told herself.

Kim eventually came out from under the box and went to her loft. Shego watched the teen carry herself like a wounded goat to her part of the place, but she did not say anything to the girl. Kim stayed up in her area and Shego soon began to realize that she was bored.

“Why am I so bored? I don’t do anything but lounge here all day when I’m off,” the officer said to herself and then looked down into her lap, something was missing.

The raven-haired woman glanced up at the loft and then she turned away. She did not care if the teen was going to throw a temper tantrum because she told her the truth. She needed to get used to hearing the truth; the real world would tell her the truth all time once she stopped being a brat and got into it.

The redhead tried to work her way out of being upset, but it was not working. Shego never called her a leech or suggested that she go find a job; she was just a pet after all. She was supposed to be lazy and irresponsible; oh, what a crock, she told herself.

She knew that she was upset because Shego’s words just let her know that she was not going to be able to do what she was doing forever. It went beyond being Shego’s pet. It went to being who she was in general. Things just could not stay the way that they were forever because that was just the way life was; things changed all the time.

“I’ve got to do something, don’t I? But, what?” Kim asked herself; she still did not know. She did not even want to know anymore.

Shego was back on stakeout with Doctor Director. They were watching yet another building that was expected to go in flames. Betty was silent because she noted almost immediately that her friend was in a rotten mood. She knew that it was one of two things that had the younger female stressed; either Shego’s moronic boyfriend did something or her idiotic pet did something. She was scared to find out which it was because both were ridiculous, Drakken more so than “Princess” though.

“Okay, what happened?” Doctor Director asked after a long while. The suspense and tension hanging in the air thanks to her friend was getting to her.

“Nothing,” Shego huffed.

Nothing tended to translate into pet problems, Betty knew. Pet problems were more embarrassing than man problems to Shego for some reason, her good friend gathered. She guessed that the thing with her pet was that Shego was not supposed to care; her pet was just some dumb, hopeless girl after all. Betty decided not to press the issue because she thought that Shego was best at resolving pet issues on her own; she would only suggest using a rolled up newspaper on the brat anyway.

“Hey, is that the kid?” Shego asked as she pointed above them and to the left at a figure on top of a five-story building.

“You’re the one with two good eyes,” Doctor Director replied.

“You’re right about that. I’m going to kick his or her ass.”

“Even if it’s Pumpkin?”

“Especially if it’s Pumpkin,” Shego declared. The little spoiled monster had ruined her day off by making her feel bad and then had the nerve to not even accept an apple pie as an apology.

The boss nodded while Shego got out of the car. She made her way to the rooftop quickly and silently; a feather falling made more noise than she did. The figure noticed Shego when she was a few feet away and the chase was on. The officer pursued the criminal in all black while a building across the street burst into flames. Shego sucked her teeth.

“I’m sick of chasing this demented punk,” the law officer decided.

Shego charged up her hands and began tossing plasma blasts at the arsonist’s feet. The criminal dodged rather well and avoided being tripped up by the projectiles. The raven-haired woman growled as the arsonist practically glided to the next rooftop.

“Right, fine. You want to do this like an expert. I’ll treat you like an expert,” Shego said to the air.

The officer put her hands close to each other and formed an energy sphere between her hands as she continued to chase the fire-starter. She waited for the criminal to jump and now there was no way to dodge, so Shego hit the person in the middle of the lower back with the plasma ball. The figure let out a pained groan and fell to the next rooftop. Shego followed and found the person laid flat out as if struck by lightning.

“Stings like a bitch, doesn’t it?” the law enforcement agent gloated. “You should’ve done that disappearing stunt when you had the chance, moron. Now, you move and it’ll get a lot worse than some stinging.”

The officer grabbed the suspect by the collar, causing the person to groan again. Shego unmasked the person and she did not know what to think when she saw who the person was, or more specifically who it was not. The criminal was not her pet.

“I knew it wasn’t her,” Betty said as she and Shego rid themselves of the suspected arsonist. Later on, a squad of police officers would find enough evidence at the suspect’s home to charge and convict the young woman, who as it turned out could not disappear, but she could morph into inanimate objects.

“Yeah, right,” Shego scoffed.

“I did,” the boss insisted.


“Come on, she’s not malicious, no matter what.”

“It still leaves me with two questions, though,” Shego commented.

“Which are?”

“Why the hell Team Impossible was chasing after her and what the hell she’s doing with all of those fucking science books.”

“That’s true,” the chief concurred.

Shego went home and was not greeted her usual hug. She thought that her girl might be sleeping on the sofa, but, no, the sofa was vacant. She then checked the loft space and there was her teen, brooding as she had been for the past few days. It was getting on Shego’s nerves; she did not have a pet to feed, clothe, bathe, and the whole bit to be ignored by the little brat.

The green-skinned female went to get comfortable in the house and then she made dinner. Kim came down from the loft when she smelled the food cooking. She ate quietly and quickly, just as she had done the past few days. Shego had expected such behavior, but was not sure how to go about getting her pet to stop.

She had tried yelling already, but that did not get a reaction from her down-and-out pet. She had then tried to apologize and made an apple pie, only to be rebuffed. She was not sure what else to do; what did her pet want?

The older female sighed; she needed to get an idea that had better fix the problem or she was going to resort to just beating the kid with a rolled up newspaper like Doctor Director always suggested. She knew that Kim was going to retreat back to her loft when she was done eating, which the teen tried to do, but Shego put a stop to that. The elder female pitched a ball at the redhead as soon as she was at the ladder that led to the loft.

Kim caught the ball without thinking. As soon as she realized what she had done, she turned to look at Shego to get a gage on her owner’s reaction. Shego did not appear affected by what happened; although, inside she was just more curious about the teen now. Kim waited for questions to come thanks to her quick reflexes.

“Bring it back,” Shego ordered.

“Huh?” Kim said.

“We can’t play fetch if you don’t bring it back,” Shego pointed out.

“Oh, yeah,” Kim replied with a laugh and then she did as she was commanded to do.

Next time: Curious-er and curious-er does Shego grow as her pet continues to do amazing things. What is she to do now that she knows her pet is not what she thought the girl was?

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