Do you ever wonder what your pet does when you are not around? Maybe your cat throws a party or your dog does dance routines? Highly unlikely for most pets.
Shego had a pet that could possibly throw parties while she was not around, but she doubted that her pet did such a thing. She believed that she had her pet all figured out. She was certain that her pet slept all day until she got home. She doubted that she would ever meet a more dependent and pathetic creature than her pet. Yeah, she was sure that girl was a lost cause. Yeah, she bet that girl was just lounging around the house.
Her pet was lying on the sofa. Kim had been reading a book, but she accidentally dropped it and just did not feel up to retrieving it at the moment. She yawned and thought that she might catch a nap before her owner got home. She closed her eyes and then came the beeping, just as she knew it would; Wade never failed to call when she was trying to recover from the last mission that he sent her on. She went into her cargo pants side pocket and pulled out her Kimmunicator.
“What’s the stich, Wade?” she asked.
“Nothing much. I just wanted to remind you that you have to give a speech at Roundabout High School this afternoon. You did remember to write a speech for it, right?” Wade replied.
“Yeah, I did that while I was climbing over the Rockies to go retrieve that stolen earthquake machine. The handwriting is a bit shaky, but I’m pretty sure I can make due. Do I have a ride there?”
“Yeah, I got you one, even though the school did offer to pick you up,” he reminded her.
“I know, but it’s just not the same. Anything else aside for this?” she asked.
“No, nothing so far.”
“I guess that’s a good thing,” she remarked, especially since she was a little worn out from the mission she just got back from.
“Hey, Kim,” Wade said before she had a chance to disconnect the communication.
He looked away for a moment before saying what he wanted. “I was just wondering if you made any kind of decision yet,” he replied.
“No,” she answered in a dull tone.
“Are you even thinking on it?”
“Of course I am.”
“Then what are you going to do?” he asked.
“I don’t know yet,” she informed him. Why was she not allowed to just not know something?
“So—” Wade tried to continue on with his line of questions, but Kim stopped him before he could even get out another word.
“Wade, if you continue this interrogation, I won’t make it on time to give this speech,” Kim pointed out.
“Oh, right. Sorry about that,” he apologized.
“No big,” she assured him with a forced smile.
The redhead picked herself up and went to go give a speech a local high school. She did not mind giving such lectures because she thought that it might make a difference for some teenagers to hear a fellow teen talk about some of her accomplishments to help them understand how much a human being could do. She wanted high schoolers and even people younger than that to understand that they really could do anything if they put their minds, hearts, and souls into it. She knew that sometimes people did not believe her when she went through just some of her list of accomplishments, but if she reached a few people, then she felt that the little fifteen minute speech followed by questions was worth it.
“What’s the stich, Wade?” Kim asked as she was about to jump onto Shego’s bed. Her Kimmunicator seemed to go off at the worse times; it always cut into something that she thought would be fun.
“You’re needed on the coast. A boat went missing in a heavy storm and they’re ready to call off the search, but the family of the men on board called for you,” Wade reported.
“Wait, I’m a last resort?” Kim asked incredulously.
“Why didn’t they call me first? Way harsh on the self-esteem,” she remarked.
“They didn’t really want to bother you with what they assumed would be an easy find,” he explained.
“And now look what happened. Got a ride?”
“Then I’m on my way.”
Kim placed the Kimmunicator into her pocket and took off out of the condo to go help those in need; she told herself that her master’s bed would be there when she got back. She figured that she should be able to make it back before Shego got home; hey, she could do anything. She was right with her calculations and made it back home first.
The redhead flopped down onto the sofa and closed her eyes. Then she heard keys in the door. She shot up off of the sofa and bolted to the front of the apartment as the door swung open. She was embracing her mistress before the older woman could grasp what was going on or even get into the house.
“Could you let me come in first!” Shego barked.
“I missed you,” Kim replied.
“How could you miss me when you slept all day?”
“I did miss you.”
“You’re such a lazy pet,” Shego scoffed and Kim only smiled.
Shego was lounging on the sofa and watching television. She was supposed to be relaxing on her day off and she was. Her hyperactive pet was surprisingly not causing any trouble; more than likely because it was virtually impossible to cause problems while sleeping, Shego figured. Kim was resting peacefully with her head on Shego’s lap. The older female was absently stroking her dozing pet’s hair. Then suddenly the phone rang.
“Wha?” Kim said in a dazed tone as the startling noise disturbed her sleep; she had to watch those all-nighters, she silently told herself. She felt worked, but she still shot up like she heard loud fireworks going off.
Shego did not say anything to her frightened girl. She reached over and grabbed the house phone. Kim watched her owner, who only listened to the person that called and she continued to subconsciously caress the younger female’s soft red hair. Kim noted that her master seemed to be getting more irked by the second from the way that her ebony eyebrows were beginning to bend toward each other and a curl was forming at her lip.
“Yeah, fine. Whatever,” Shego huffed and she disconnected the call.
“What’s the stich?” Kim asked.
“Nothing. Pets shouldn’t ask so many damn questions,” Shego replied as she lifted Kim’s head from her lap. The redhead let out a disappointed moan as Shego stood up and started toward her bedroom.
“Where are you going?” the teen hero inquired. She considered throwing a temper tantrum, but she doubted that would work if her master was leaving on her day off to do something that obviously spoiled her mood.
“Didn’t I just say that pets shouldn’t ask so many damn questions?” Shego barked.
“But, it’s our day! I’m supposed to be able to lay on you all day,” Kim whined while throwing a tantrum by rolling around on the sofa; there was a slim chance that it might work and she had to try it.
“Stop acting like such a brat. You need to go outside and do something anyway,” the raven-haired female stated.
“Am I coming with you then?”
“Then what am I supposed to do outside?”
“I don’t know. Something,” Shego huffed in annoyance.
“I don’t even have any money,” Kim complained.
“Don’t you know that the first law of physics is that anything fun costs at least eight dollars(1)?” Kim replied.
Shego growled; there just could not possibly be a more annoying creature on the planet than the teenager staying with her. She went into her room and reemerged a few minutes later. She was dressed in her street clothes, which were black jeans and a sea green shirt. She went back to Kim while pulling out her wallet. She pulled out some money without bothering to count it and placed it on the coffee table.
“Take your lazy ass outside and do something fun,” Shego commanded.
“I just wanna lay my head in your lap,” Kim pouted.
“Tough luck. I’ve got a damn emergency at work that I have to take care of,” Shego informed the redhead.
“You’re so mean.”
“Care to repeat that?” Shego inquired while holding up one fist.
“I just want to sleep,” Kim groaned. She really did just want to get some sleep and she liked doing that with her head resting in Shego’s lap.
“Stop acting so spoiled and just outside for ten damn minutes. When was the last time you were outside, you lazy brat?” the older woman asked.
Kim whimpered, even though she knew that would not get any kind of response from her owner, except maybe more anger. Shego stormed out of the apartment, leaving the redhead on the couch. The teenager sighed and grabbed the money that had been left for her use.
“I wonder what the big emergency is,” Kim muttered as she went to change into some street clothes.
The redhead put on her cargo pants and a tank top before leaving the house. She jogged outside and wondered what she should do with the money. She did have more than enough money to take public transportation somewhere, but she usually ran places in the city if they were close enough; several miles still equaled close to her. She then thought about her owner talking about some emergency at work, so she pulled out the Kimmunicator.
“Sup, Kim?” Wade greeted the redhead.
“Hey, Wade. Do you know if there’s some kind of big stich happening in Go City?” Kim inquired.
“Go City? I’ll look into it,” he replied and he turned his attention to his main computer monitor.
“Please and thank you,” she said with a grateful smile.
Wade surfed around for about a second. “Well, there nothing really worth noting, except a bank robbery with hostages involved,” he informed her.
“Is it really bad?” Kim asked because she was aware that Shego only handled high profile, deadly, borderline insane crimes.
“I’m pulling up an image of what’s happening in real time from a security camera,” he replied.
“You seriously rock, Wade,” the teen hero complimented him as Wade’s image was replaced with the picture of the interior of a building. She could see ten people on the floor in a corner and a couple of men in body armor and shotguns guarding them. “These guys look like more than bank robbers,” she commented.
“They are packing some nasty looking weapons. Are you going to help? The Go City authorities didn’t request you,” Wade pointed out.
“I might just go check it out. I know how sensitive the police get when little miss teen wonder shows up out of nowhere without an invite,” Kim replied.
“A lot of the time they don’t have to yell at you. Anyway, would you like to know where the bank is?”
“That would help, wouldn’t it? Please and thank you again,” she answered with her usual bright smile.
“No problem. It’s on fourth and Rapid. You know how to get there?”
“I know. Thanks again, Wade.”
“Hey, it’s what I’m here for,” he remarked with a smile of his own.
Kim placed the Kimmunicator back into her pocket and then she took off up the street. She knew a short cut to the bank that she was going to. It was really only a short cut for those that could make it through the many obstacles; for most people, it was more a surefire way to get seriously injured than anything else. She did not find the fences, garbage, barbwire, junkyard, or pack of dogs to be much of a problem. She hardly even noticed those things as she made her way to where she wanted to be.
When Kim came to the scene, she was on a rooftop of a building that overlooked all of the police activity and the front of the bank. She noticed a black car pull up to the other patrol cars and then her mistress got out of the driver side of the car. Kim sat down on the edge of the building and leaned forward; she was now anxious to see what was going to happen.
“What’s going on?” Doctor Director demanded to know from the uniformed officer in charge of the situation outside of the bank.
“The perpetrators are wearing bulletproof armor and are packing some high powered shotguns and rifles. They’re waiting for the safe to be opened by an electronic timer,” the officer reported.
“They’re ordinary people?” she inquired.
“As far as we know, ma’am,” he answered.
Doctor Director sighed. “She’s going to pissed that I called her in for this then,” she muttered quietly to herself. She glanced at the bank and then at Shego, who was just waiting for her orders. She shook her head. “So, how many hostages are we talking about?” she asked the officer.
“A dozen, ma’am,” he replied.
“All right, you’re going to need to clear this street,” the one-eyed woman informed the officer.
“Just do it,” she barked and the officer ran off to follow her orders. “Shego,” she beaconed her raven-haired friend over.
“Yo,” Shego huffed. She was trying to assess the situation from the outside and was failing to see why her rest and relaxation had been disturbed.
“Four perps and twelve hostages. Don’t kill anybody,” Doctor Director ordered.
“When have I?” Shego inquired.
“No comas either. They’re just idiots.”
“Idiots that ruined my day.”
“They’re also normal idiots. Be as careful as you can.”
Shego rolled her eyes and tugged on her gloves before starting toward the bank. Why did it seem like the universe wanted her to only deal with morons? But, if that was what the universe wanted, she would happily oblige.
Kim could make out that her owner was wearing a bodysuit as a uniform. She noticed that the outfit was green and black like everything else that Shego wore; Kim could not help wondering why the law enforcement agent was so into green and black. Maybe it was because the colors matched her skin, eyes, and hair, Kim considered. She wondered if she would ever get to see Shego up close in that uniform.
“Such naughty thoughts,” Kim scolded herself. “So, they’re just going to send her in? This could be interesting.”
The redhead figured that if it was necessary, she would have to find a better spot to see her mistress work. Or better still, some place where she could easily jump in if there was a problem. Although, she considered that jumping into a battle with her owner involved could cause a problem all its own while watching Shego enter the bank.
Shego stepped through the glass doors of the bank without many cares. The day someone normal beat her in a fight would be it for her. She would just quit fighting if someone normal ever beat her, even if it was more than one someone and they had high powered guns. She could not believe she actually left the house for such crap.
She quickly went over the situation. There were the twelve hostages huddled in the corner at the far end of the room. Then there were the four robbers putting on backpacks and taking no notice of her. She studied their armor; it looked like nice work, she mentally commented. The armor was jet black and padded. There were slight bulges in the forearms; she was willing to bet that the armor housed weapons of its own. Seemed like it might be a challenge, she thought.
“I think you fellas should put all that back before I make you,” Shego informed them.
“Who the hell are you?” one of the men demanded to know while turning to face her.
“The negotiator, duh,” she answered.
“Then where the hell is our ride?” he inquired.
“It’ll be here in a moment. You wanted an ambulance, right?” she remarked with a devilish smirk.
“Hey, don’t think we won’t waste these hostages,” the man said and, sure enough, a scope popped up from the patch atop his forearm. He aimed the scope at one of the hostages; all of the people shrank back into the corner.
“I like how you think I give a damn,” she replied, still smirking it up.
The man decided to call her bluff and charged his weapon. She sucked her teeth; why didn’t a criminal believe her just once? Once was all she asked. A red plasma shot came from the scope and was about to impact the head of a female hostage, but Shego stepped in. She threw a plasma blast of her own and the two shots negated each other, disappearing in a puff of harmless smoke. Shego could not help thinking about what a bad day the hostages were having; after all, they were just trying to make a buck at their boring jobs and then these bastards had to come and throw some spice into the mix.
Shego then attacked the robbers with a speed that they obviously did not expect. She used her hands and burned straight throw their guns, making them useless. She then put two men on their backs with a well place kick. Next, she grabbed the other two while they were busy gaping at how she took down their comrades. She flung the standing pair out through the glass front doors of the building.
The raven-haired woman turned her attention to the two that were trying to get up. She yanked them by their forearms, making sure to break the weapons housed in the armor. She tossed them outside too just as their companions were about to fire into the bank. The flying pair took down the other two. They all fell to the pavement; they were all lucky that the street was clear or they would have surely impacted police cars.
“Don’t attack yet,” Doctor Director commanded the regular police when she noticed that they were about to charge.
“She’s not done yet,” the one-eyed woman informed them.
Shego marched out of the bank through the now shattered doors like a stalking lion. She rolled her eyes while the bank robbers climbed to their feet in a daze. She watched them as they moved to determine which one out of the four was the most damaged, so she knew who needed the least attention.
Once she picked her first victim, she struck with the speed of an attacking cobra and just as dangerous. She took him down with a few punches, knocking him into the wall of a building across the street. She then turned to another one, who was trying to come up behind her. She flipped him over her shoulder and punched him in the chest. He gasped, but he did not get up. She finished the other two with just as much ease.
The police that watched Shego as she worked were amazed by her moves. Her boss was a bit impressed, but for a different reason. The officer that had been in charge turned to Doctor Director.
“Now?” he asked.
“Go for it,” she replied.
The police officers rushed in to gather the unconscious thieves. Shego strolled back over to Doctor Director and noticed that the older woman was eyeing her strangely. Shego decided not even to bother asking what the problem was.
“You moved the cars,” Shego pointed out the obvious.
“I knew you’d go for the cars because we don’t have enough damage complaints,” Doctor Director commented.
“Hey, if the public wants, I’ll just leave the pricks to walk the street. It’s not like they’re a danger to me,” Shego replied.
“Usually, you’d have left the bad guys in critical condition. Lately, though…” the brown-haired woman trailed off.
“What’re you trying to say?”
“You think I’ve gone soft, huh?”
“I didn’t say that. You just seem less irritable lately. You didn’t even put up as much a fuss about coming in on such a call. Usually, you’d be whining about it was only four guys with second rate armor and weapons and how a competent four-year-old could have done the job, but the police asked for our assistance so they wouldn’t be at fault should a hostage or two end up killed,” Doctor Director pointed out.
“Whatever. Those guys just weren’t worth my usual effect. And for the record, I’m not whiny,” Shego retorted.
“Whatever,” her boss scoffed.
Kim made her getaway via the rooftops and she kept replaying what she just witnessed in her mind. Apparently, her mistress kicked some serious butt. So, there was more to the angry woman than just super-powered glowing hands. Wow. Yeah, wow pretty much covered what she was thinking.
The redhead practically flew back to the apartment, only to find it empty. She pouted, even though she did not know why she thought that Shego would beat her home. She guessed that since Shego had arrived at the scene in a car, she assumed that she would get a ride home.
The car was probably only for work related things, Kim concluded. Besides, even if it was not, Shego would still have to go back to the station to change her clothes. She probably had to do a report too.
The teen changed out of her street clothes and put her house clothes back on. She went and lay down on the sofa. She knew that her master would be back soon, so she would wait.
Ten minutes later, Shego arrived home. Kim rocketed to the front of the place and attached herself to Shego’s waist as soon as she was in the apartment. The raven-haired female rubbed the top of her pet’s head.
“You didn’t go outside, huh? You’re such a lazy kid. That’s it, I’m taking you outside,” Shego declared and, for some reason, it sounded very much like a threat to Kim.
(1) That brilliant and oh, so very true line comes from Cartman from South Park. He was right, anything fun does cost at least eight dollars. It should be a law of economics or something.
Next time: Shego takes her pet out for some exercise and a couple of other people get let in on this rather unorthodox relationship.