Walking the Line

Problem Fifteen

Being a fire starter


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TITLE: Being a fire starter

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: So, about these characters, no, I don’t own them. And about this idea of keeping someone as a pet, I so didn’t think of it. Characters go to Disney. Idea goes to Yayoi Ogawa.

SUMMARY: This is AU like a mug. Shego is a cop and Kim…well, you won't believe what Kim is.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Shego/Drakken, Other, Friendship, Romance

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 5381

Shego caressing her pet.

Owners don’t really know their pets. Sure you know your dog or cat is happy when you come home, but what’s really on your pet’s mind? You just don’t know and it’s practically impossible to ever know what your pet really is all about because your pet can’t tell you personally.

Shego was stuck on a stakeout. She hated stakeouts, but the one that she was on was not so bad. She was at least stuck in a small area with someone that she could loosely tolerate, Doctor Director. She guessed that she got stuck with the boss because the last time that she was on a stakeout with someone, they failed the assignment because she had been busy punching the crap out of the smart-mouth bastard in the car with her. Now, no one aside for Betty would even dare go on stakeout with the crank of the office, also known as Shego.

“How long are we going to sit here?” the pale woman asked with a yawn. She wished that she drank coffee to at least give her something to do and something to keep her wired. She had no idea how much she ran on rage until she was sitting still with no one to scream at. She considered that she might have to bring her pet on the next stakeout, which she hoped did not happen, if only to give her someone to abuse for a little while.

“Until we see something suspicious, hopefully before another building erupts into flames. What’s the matter, want to go for another three minute round with Drakken?” Betty countered with a laugh.

“Oh, that’s just cruel. This is why I never tell you anything,” the younger woman commented.

“Are you kidding? You tell me more than you tell anybody else.”

“I don’t tell you as much as you think I do.”

“I can find out.”

“You don’t have anything better to abuse your power on?” Shego inquired.

“Nothing as amusing, no,” Doctor Director replied.

“I’m glad to know one of us is amused by my so-called sex life.”

“You know, if you boxed in that same amount of time, I guarantee that you’d be less frustrated.”

“I’d be less frustrated if this crazy arsonist would show up,” Shego huffed.

“There’s always a chance that the little fire-bug doesn’t show up. It’s not like he gives an exact time as to when he’s going to start these fires and blow things up. He might not even strike tonight,” the one-eyed woman pointed out.

“Oh, don’t even tell me that. I don’t want to have to be out here another night with you,” the raven-haired woman groaned.

“You think I like being in a small space with you? Trust me, I’d rather spend my nights with more handsome company.”

“Oh, don’t act like you have a man.”

“Don’t get on my case because your man can only go for three minutes.”

“I hate you,” Shego said. And she wished that he could go for three minutes.

Shego marched into her apartment as the sun was climbing into the sky. Her eyes were half way open and she could barely shut the door because she did not feel like turning around just to look at it; she was not even sure how she managed to get the key in the lock to open the door in first place. Kim poked her head out from her loft with a dazed look in her olive green eyes as her owner stumbled into the apartment.

“How’d it go?” Kim yawned.

“Tell you later. Day off,” Shego mumbled, only slightly aware that she even answered the question.

The teenager nodded and watched the older female stagger to her bedroom. Kim could understand why her mistress was so tired; over a week of working nineteen hours a day was enough to wear anybody out. At least it was her day off, so she could catch up on her rest. Maybe she could order pizza and Shego would not have to cook, the teen considered.

The redhead went back to sleep for a few more hours before she just had to get up. The teen could only sleep so late in the morning. She was surprised that Wade had not called with a mission or just to check on her, but she was not about to complain. She busied herself by reading while Shego slept the day away.

A knock at the door late in the afternoon got Kim down from her loft. She wanted to get it before the noise woke up her exhausted owner. She answered the door and was face to face with Drakken.

“Where’s Shego?” he asked rudely.

“Sleeping,” Kim answered.

“What?” he huffed as the idea of Shego sleeping offended him in someway. He pushed by the teenager to get into the apartment. “Shego!” he called loudly.

“Hey, she’s sleeping,” Kim repeated while hoping that she did not have to hurt the man to shut him up. Her mistress seriously deserved as much sleep as she could get.

“I don’t care,” he replied. “She needs to get up. It’s four in the afternoon.”

“She’s got a very demanding job,” the redhead pointed out while wondering where was the best place to hit him first to keep him from screaming anymore. She considered the throat; it was not like he used his voice for anything useful anyway. She doubted she would get admonished too harshly for hurting him, especially if it saved her keeper from getting up.

“Shego!” Drakken bellowed again.

“What?” Shego snarled as she exited her bedroom. She was dressed in her pajamas and it looked like she had just woken up, mostly because she had just woken up thanks to Doctor Bigmouth. “What?” she repeated in an even more bothered tone.

“Why are you sleeping?” the scientist practically demanded to know.

“Because I’m tired, duh,” she answered. She was tempted to ask what business was it of his, but she thought he might actually answer the question and really piss her off.

“Should I disappear for a little while?” Kim inquired, speaking to the other woman. She knew that Shego did not care if she was there or not, but she gathered that Drakken did not like her very much and would most likely prefer that she made herself scarce.

“Might as well take some money with you,” the raven-haired woman replied.

“Yes, ma’am.” Kim saluted.

Shego shook her head to her pet’s behavior while the redhead went to grab some clothes. The teen quickly dressed and grabbed money that Shego was holding in her hand. She kissed Shego on the cheek and made her getaway. She noted on her way out that Drakken frowned even deeper than he was already doing when she stopped to kiss her master on the cheek.

Kim actually wished that she could stop and brag about how easily she kissed Shego compared to Drakken. She sometimes wished that she could tell him that she got to sleep next to Shego almost every night and how she rubbed up against the older woman. He would probably choke on his own fury, she thought with a laugh as she started down the street.

Shego turned to look at Drakken. “So, what can I do for you?” she inquired and she hoped that he had a good answer with the way he had been hollering for her. She would have thought the man was dying and somehow she was the only one that could save him from the way he was calling her.

“I came to spend the day with you,” he replied.

“And that’s why you were yelling like you were raised in the boondocks?” she inquired while considering the consequences of just putting her hands through his chest. She really could not see the downside because he would die and she could go back to sleep; it seemed like a very good plan to her. Yet, she did not go through with it.

“I needed to get your attention,” he pointed out as a reason for why he had been shrieking her name like a wounded owl.

The pale female rolled her eyes; she could not believe the man sometimes. It was like he had no idea how to act like a semi-civilized being. She guessed that she should just appreciate the fact that he wanted to spend time with her. It was good that a boyfriend wanted to spend time with his girlfriend, she reminded herself.

She still could not help thinking how she would rather be sleeping and how he not only did not respect that, he did not call before coming over. He just was not considerate and he had interrupted the flow of her day with his presence. She had planned on sleeping and then watching a movie with her neglected pet.

Yes, she had been neglecting her pet and she knew it. The stakeout thing was killing her. She had hardly been home a couple of hours for the past week. She had been there enough to make some meals for her pet and that was about it. She was surprised the little brat was not complaining of maltreatment from the way that she had been home very sporadically thanks to her job.

Kim returned home later that night and thought that she might at least be able to sleep in Shego’s bed if nothing else. It would be nice to have a warm body next to her after a long day of being worked by Wade. She made it to her owner’s bedroom and heard what she thought was a girl crying.

Now Kim thought something was wrong. Her owner never cried, except for one time during an incredibly sentimental movie with an equally tragic ending, but only a couple of tears came out that time and she had not made a sound that time. The thing that was wrong was that Kim could tell that was not her mistress weeping.

“Are you actually crying?” Kim heard Shego ask in disbelief.

The teen almost gasped because she now knew that it was not her mistress that was crying, which meant that it was Drakken crying. Every decent, good fiber in her being was telling her that she should go to bed and not listen to whatever was going on between her mistress and the woman’s lover. But, for every good thing, there was a mischievous fiber telling her that she should stay and listen. At least she would be entertained and she was owed that much since she was sleeping alone tonight. Oh, yeah, she was definitely staying now.

“Why are you crying?” Shego asked Drakken. She was sitting up on her bed. She had hoped that he would fall asleep and that way she could have a cigarette or five, but he remained awake much to her dismay. She did not smoke with him around and conscious because he made a big deal about his precious lungs and the dangers of secondhand smoke; well, the firsthand smoke was slowly killing her, but she did not gripe about it.

“It’s…just…It’s…I love you so much,” he said while wiping his eyes.

“Drakken, do you ever bother to listen to yourself?” she inquired in a drained tone. She did not sound that way because she was physically tired either.

“Of course I do. Why?”

“Just checking.”

Shego was not too sure if he truly listened to himself or maybe things just sounded better in his head. She hated to think that he actually believed his own crap. She also hated to think that their two minute round of sex was what had him believing that he loved her.

Kim tiptoed away from the door because she no longer wanted to hear a grown man crying without death or at least pain being involved. She wondered why Shego did not just tell him off for being such a worm. She was aware that the super-powered woman was skeptical that Drakken knew how to love something, so she should just call him on that, the teen thought.

The redhead decided not to think about Shego and her relationship with Drakken because it would keep her up at night if she did. She climbed up to her space and flopped down in her own bed. She sighed; she really desired to sleep next to Shego. She fell asleep fairly quickly, even though she would have preferred to be near her mistress.

Shego, on the other hand, did not fall asleep for a while. Once Drakken thankfully stopped crying, and he had been at that for nearly an hour, he finally fell asleep. She went to have a cigarette and noted that she only had two left; she had smoked a whole pack of cigarettes in less than a month and two packs in about three months. She shook her head to that knowledge; a pack of cigarettes used to last her for about half a year or longer since she had “quit” smoking. Before Drakken came along, she could not even recall the last time that she considered smoking. She decided not to think too much on it and just smoke her last pair of cigarettes in peace. She made a mental note to buy more when she had the chance.

“I can’t believe you still smoke,” Betty commented as Shego got back into the car. They were back on stakeout for the serial arsonist. The little firebug had bragged to them about hitting a building on the block that they were; if only he would leave a specific time frame along with all of his boasting.

“I can’t believe it either,” Shego replied as she put her cigarettes in the glove compartment; she had actually walked to the corner store while on duty to go buy more cigarettes. She put them away because would rather not have anything in her hands since she planned on chasing the annoying arsonist tonight.

See, the last stakeout that they had been on, Shego went after the arsonist while Doctor Director and others worked on the fire that the lunatic started. Shego had never seen an arsonist do the things that the person did while getting away, which let her know why her department was involved; not to mention, the arsonist had been taunting their department almost exclusively. The little fire-starter sent their department messages to give them clues about what was going to be set ablaze next like he was the Jack the Ripper of the fire world and, by everyone’s count, the arsonist was winning the war.

When Shego chased the criminal the last time, the firebug had been perched on a street light; he had practically swaggered in a message informing them that he liked to watch his work. She had spotted the guy and fired a plasma blast at him; well, they were assuming it was a guy, even though the criminal dressed in all black, was skinny, and short, pretty much looking genderless. The arsonist did not think anything of it when the blast came his way and swung from the light to a building room.

Shego had hardly believed her eyes with the way that the criminal had easily gotten to the roof. She ran up after him and it seemed like he waited for her to get up before taking off to make his escape. He took off like a shot, dashing across the buildings like it was something the law breaker did everyday. Shego had been running around for a few hours before the arsonist hopped off a building and disappeared into the shadows below. When Shego got to the bottom of the building, by way of jumping also, the only thing down there was a garbage can.

The green-skinned woman had been dumbfounded to say the least and the little bastard sent a message to her the following day. The arsonist had the nerve to ask “…did the officer with the green fire like my little trick?” Shego was going to set that little firebug ablaze when she got her hands on him. Nobody tried to play her for a fool, especially a criminal. Nobody made her run around half the day either when she had other work to do that same day.

“Still fuming about the one that got away?” Doctor Director inquired while watching Shego clench and unclench her fists.

“I can’t believe the moves that kid had and I’m pretty damn sure he just disappeared when he jumped off of that building,” Shego replied.

“If he can disappear that would explain one of the reasons why we’re here.”

“I wonder who the hell he is.”

“We still don’t know,” the one-eyed woman said.

“Come on, what do we even pay most of the intelligence people for then? How many fire-starting-building-jumpers are there in this damn city?” the super-powered woman inquired with a huff.

“Obviously more than you think. This kid doesn’t leave behind many clues aside for the fact that he used combustible chemicals that need to mix together to start his fires.”

“Can’t we just trace the chemicals then?”

“You can find these chemicals in many high schools or college labs, which makes it a little hard to trace them,” the brown-haired woman replied.

“Damn it,” Shego groaned. If they continued on as they were, they would just end up watching the disappearing arsonist for the rest of their lives and she had little desire to do that. She did have a pet to take care of, after all.

Kim went out on a mission, which she was rather thankful for. Being in the apartment alone was not much fun and she was glad whenever she could get out, even if it was to go do something dangerous. She went out and retrieved a scientific device that the inventors did not want to tell her what it did. The Possible in her came out full force for about a minute when talking with the scientists and she ran through everything that she had gathered from the device just from retrieving it. She eventually guessed what it was and the scientists shooed her out of their lab as if she had done something very wrong.

The redhead got back to Go City rather late, but she was almost certain that Shego was not home yet. She knew that Shego was back to the stakeouts and she would be out until the sun came up at the least, which meant that Kim would be alone if she went home. She did not want to go home then.

The teen hero decided to wander the streets of Go City. There was always a chance that something fun might present itself because there was no short supply of entertaining things going on in Go City.

The redhead wandered into the park near the apartment; it was the park that she and Shego spent a great deal of time in back when her mistress had the time for her anyway. She noticed that there were a few people out jogging; it always baffled her why people went jogging at all insane hours of the day and then wondered why something happened to them. She started jogging too; she figured that she should get some exercise in, even though she did not really require it. And then she found something that kept her attention.

Behind some bushes and trees, Kim caught glimpses of a woman struggling against four men. The hero sprang into action immediately, almost automatically, especially when she saw that they were binding and gagging the woman. The teen came in with spinning kicks and took down all of the men with ease. Before the men could fully comprehend what was going on, all of them hit the dirt and Kim smirked at them.

“If you’re smart, you’ll run,” Kim remarked lightheartedly.

The guys did not listen and they pulled out weapons, two guns and two switchblades. Kim continued to smirk confidently, which did not bother the thugs. They went at the teen hero and she quickly disarmed them. They fell back while she picked up a switchblade and used it to free the bound woman.

“Ma’am, I’d go home if I were you,” Kim informed the woman, who nodded and ran off. Kim turned her attention back to the group of fiends as they tried to get their heads together and come to grips with the pain that she inflicted on their hands.

“You again,” a familiar voice barked and that caused Kim to turn around.

The redhead saw three huge men in blue uniforms; one was a bald man, the other one was a redhead and the last one was a brunette. They looked very familiar to her, but the memory was extremely hazy. She stared at them a moment before she knew all too well who they were.

“You’re the guys that put me that box,” Kim realized.

“We told you before to go home, little girl. You’re butting into grown folks business,” the bald male informed her.

“Did you guys beat me too?” Kim inquired curiously because she recalled them and she knew that they had dropped her in the box, but she could not recall if they had been the ones that injured her.

“No, we didn’t beat you up. Do we look that sick? We wouldn’t beat up a little girl,” the bald man, Dash Damond balked at the idea.

“All right. You made me dizzy during a fight, though…against some bad guys,” Kim remembered. She had been fighting with some people that robbed a very exclusive jewelry store and then the three men before her showed up. They threw some dust at her while barking at her about doing their job. “Who the hell are you guys?” she demanded to know. She was rather peeved that they had knocked her out and put her in a box after allowing her to be injured thanks to that dust.

“Team Impossible and you’re doing our job again. Haven’t you learned anything?” Dash inquired.

“Nope,” Kim answered with a smile.

“That’s it.”

“I probably should start running now,” she muttered.

“That would be smart.”

Kim, having little desire to end up in a box and maybe even in another city altogether, took off running. She recalled running from them before. It seemed like such a long time ago, but it was barely a year ago. She tried to recollect everything that happened that night, but it was cloudy. She guessed that it had to do with the fact that they had drugged her and she did not want to give them another chance to do so. She did not want to chance ending up somewhere else thanks to them, so she dashed off and they chased her.

“Can’t we talk this over like mature adults?” Kim called to the team.

“We’re doing this for your own good,” Dash tried to assure the girl. She rolled her eyes.

“I’m so sure,” she muttered.

Shego was ready to fall asleep. Their arsonist had not shown up for once and that left her bored; not to mention the fact that she had only gotten two hours of sleep for most of the week and the one day that she had planned on catching up on her rest, that had been shot to pieces. She had planned on chasing that little firebug and showing him a real flare. Then a building went up in flames.

“Looks like our friend struck again,” Doctor Director commented dryly.

The pair was about to get out of the car to scan all directions for their little arsonist, but suddenly something else had their attention. A redhead slid across the hood of their car right before their eyes. The redhead continued on across the street without taking any notice of the two in the car.

“Was that Princess?” Betty asked in a puzzled tone and then three males went across the car too.

“Was that Team Impossible?” Shego inquired in a similarly bewildered voice.

“What in the hell is going on?”

“Something annoying, no doubt. I’m going,” the younger woman declared and she got out of the car.

The super-powered female chased after Team Impossible, who in turn continued on after Kim. The raven-haired woman also kept an eye open for the arsonist, but she never caught sight of the criminal. The chase ended when Kim came to a bridge and did not hesitate in jumping over the side to escape. She did a dive that would have probably medaled in the Olympics right into the Go River below. Shego could not believe her eyes.

“Hey, what were you guys chasing after that girl for?” Shego demanded to know from Team Impossible.

“Because she’s a little punk,” the bald man replied.

“Did she break the law?”

“Yeah,” was the blatant answer and Team Impossible was gone before she could ask any more questions.

Shego stared down into the river; it was a long way down and the river was not a calm one. She wondered if her pet had died in that very impressive jump. She would be surprised if the girl was uninjured if she had the good fortune to live.

She wondered what those muscle-headed apes had been doing chasing after her frightened pet. She pondered what her pet might have done that was against the law. She could not think of anything at the moment.

Kim swam down river for a while before she was able to climb out of the rapidly moving water. She wrung out her hair while grumbling under her breath about snobby law enforcement agents and their immoral practices for chasing people for helping. She started walking toward home while continuing to mumble heatedly about Team Impossible.

She silently admitted to herself that was a great jump and if she even had a chance, she would like to do it again. She wished that those men had left her alone. She knew that they were on the side of justice, so she would not fight with them unless it was absolutely necessary. She knew that they would not physically hurt her if they caught her, but she would rather avoid whatever else they had in mind for her.

The redhead marched into the apartment well after sunrise. The noise that occurred when opening and shutting the door alerted Shego that her pet was home. She crawled out of bed and exited her room. She nearly gasped when she saw her pet alive, well, and very wet.

“Where have you been?” Shego demanded to know.

“Everywhere,” Kim answered with a forced laugh.

“Why are you all wet?” the older woman inquired, waiting to just hear the lie that had to come from her pet.

“I went into the river,” Kim answered honestly.

“The river? Why?” Shego asked. She felt that the girl was going to have to lie sometime and she just wanted to catch her pet not telling the truth.

“Well, when you go over a bridge, there’s really the only way to go. Is it all right if I take a shower?”

Shego motioned with her hand to the bathroom to let the teen know that it was all right for her to go take a shower. Kim went into the bathroom while Shego went back to her bedroom. She wondered about her pet now.

There was obviously more to the teen than anything she had been showing since she came to live with Shego. Shego would have called it surviving by dumb luck, but there was also the fact that the girl had outran Team Impossible and had jumped off of that bridge with no sign of fear on her face. She did not appear scared at all during the time that she was running, so it went way beyond dumb luck. Kim was certainly hiding something, but what was that something?

Shego pondered on things and wondered if Kim might have had something to do with the arsons around the city. She knew that it was a leap to think such a thing, but Team Impossible had said the girl broke the law and Kim had streaked by as soon as that building went up in flames. She jumped from that bridge so easily, just like the arsonist had leaped off of the building.

The raven-haired woman thought about the build of the arsonist and Kim was of a similar build. Well, she was of similar build in the way that she was smaller than Shego and she was skinny. Shego wondered if it was possible that her pet was the serial arsonist and those testosterone-charged egomaniacs from Team Impossible knew.

But, the question stood, how did those guys know if Kim was the arsonist…unless they stumbled across her setting up chemicals to start the fire? Shego was not too sure if her logic added up. The messages that they had been getting did not sound anything like her pet. Her pet did not know anything about science or chemicals. The girl had no reason to start fires anyway.

But then Shego thought, what did she really know about her stupid pet? She did not even know the girl could use the stove without accidentally killing them until a few weeks ago. She did not know that the teenager had any moves of any kind until just a few hours ago, seeing her dive from that bridge.

“Shego, what’s up?” Betty asked when her friend entered her office.

“I was thinking about this arsonist,” the younger woman replied.

“Yeah, and?”

“You said that the fires were started with combustible chemicals, right?”


“So, the arsonist would need chemicals and things. Do you want to search my apartment for them?” Shego proposed casually.

“What? Why?” the boss inquired in a confused voice.

“Maybe it’s Pumpkin,” Shego offered slowly.

“She’s not smart enough to do something like this,” Doctor Director replied in a dismissive tone.

“Or so she acts. I’m starting to think there’s more to Pumpkin than we know.”

“And you think she’d be crazy enough to burn down buildings knowing that you’re on the job to bring in the lunatic?”

“Last night, I saw her jump off of a bridge into Go River like she was a professional diver. She survived with hardly a scratch on her. She was there when the building went up in smoke and she’s speedy little thing. We never did spot the arsonist that night she went by. I think we should check it out,” Shego explained.

“Fine, it’s your house and she’s your pet,” Betty replied with a shrug.

Shego and Betty waited for Kim to be out of the house before conducting their search. They climbed up to the loft space and looked around. They saw that they were in a mess; there were books everywhere. Betty picked up a book that was closest to her and read a few words of it.

“This is theoretical physics,” the chief muttered in an amazed and bemused tone. What the hell was her friend’s pet doing with something so advanced?

“Anatomy?” Shego wondered aloud when she noticed a couple of books off to her right.

They started to notice a trend with most of the books that were lying around as they moved deeper into the space; they were all books on some kind of science or mathematics. Betty spied a duffle bag in the corner and went over to it. She pulled it out and felt the weight of it; it was rather heavy.

“Hey, here’s a bag,” the one-eyed woman called to her friend. Shego went over to Betty and they opened the bag. They gasped when they saw the bags contents.

Next time: Apparently, Kim has a brain, who knew? Certainly not Shego and she comes to realize that she doesn’t know anything about her pet, leaving her very suspicious of the girl. What's in the bag? And how in the hell does Shego manage to piss Kim off? Yes, Shego angers Kim and not the other way around.

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