Walking the Line

Problem Five

Dealing with a bad pet


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TITLE: Dealing with a bad pet

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: Yeah, still don’t own the characters or the premise of this tale.

SUMMARY: This is AU like a mug. Shego is a cop and Kim…well, you won't believe what Kim is.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Ron, Shego/Drakken, Other, Friendship, Romance

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 3984

Shego caressing her pet.

Does it seem odd to be angry with a pet for a long period of time? Pets usually have no real concept of doing something wrong, usually anyway. Is it a waste of aggravation to be upset with a pet?

Shego moaned slightly in her sleep; she was having a rather pleasurable and satisfying dream. When she woke up, she found her that dream was partially true with one key and very important detail, reality involved her pet. Her disobedient teen had crawled into bed with her yet again and was caught in the act of doing something against the rules aside for being in her bed. Her pet was touching her; no, not touching her. Her pet was fondling her, her right breast to be more specific.

“Princess!” Shego hollered in that “I’m going to kill you and they won’t find the body” tone that Kim was so very familiar with.

The redhead woke up and shot out of bed like a bolt of lightning as she heard another familiar sound, the sound of her mistress’ hands igniting. She charged to her box for cover and heard Shego snarl. She slid under the cardboard container while her mistress chased her. Kim felt her usually safe box being picked up; she had no idea that Shego was so strong and she really did not like the way that she was learning about her mistress’ strength. Then she felt the box being put down and it felt like it was sitting on a very thin space, not to mention about to fall over. Could she possibly be in the windowsill, she wondered.

“Now, tell me why I shouldn’t throw you out of this fucking window?” Shego huffed. Okay, yeah, that was the window, Kim commented mentally.

“What did I do?” Kim whined.

“Don’t act innocent!”

“I’m sorry I slept in your bed!” the redhead replied.

“That’s not it and you know it!”

“But, I didn’t do anything else!”

Shego huffed and let go of the box. Kim felt herself falling, but she hit the ground about a second after the sensation began. She tumbled out of the box to see her mistress glaring down at her.

“I didn’t do anything,” Kim insisted.

“Don’t ever fucking touch me again,” Shego ordered.

Kim nodded to show that she understood and Shego stormed away. Kim sat up and glanced down at her left hand. She laughed a bit before climbing to her feet. Her master was really angry, she silently noted, and stored that information in the back of her mind just in case she needed it.

Shego would describe herself as pissed-the-hell-off and that feeling did not subside once she was on her way to work, away from her disgusting, lucky-to-still-be-alive pet. That little bitch molested her, she huffed silently. That little pest knew better than to touch her, yet she always broke the rules and now she had gone too far. Yeah, she had definitely gone too far.

When Shego got to work, everyone knew to avoid her just from the look in her sharp emerald eyes. They knew better than to tempt fate and even walk in front of her. They were aware that if she got called out on an assignment, the criminal would have a high chance of dying with third degree burns all over his body and that was if she was merciful enough to not just reduce the perpetrator to ashes. Shego changed into her uniform and was about to go see if there was any bad guy ass that needed kicking, but she was halted by a familiar face grinning at her.

“Hello, Shego,” Amy greeted the angry female in a chipper tone that just upset Shego even more so than she already was; happy people had that affect on Shego.

Amy, mostly known as DNAmy, was a former bio-terrorist. She used to make the strangest mutants; Shego remembered going after a couple of them and she just could not help wondering just what the point was. The mutants had not been particularly dangerous and the chubby woman did not seem to want to take over anything. DNAmy changed sides for the simple fact that her train obviously jumped the train a long time ago, as far as Shego was concerned anyway.

In reality, DNAmy switched sides just because it seemed like the fun thing to do (to Shego that was same thing as chalking it up to lunacy). The woman was brilliant at what she did, but Shego had heard there was a fine line between genius and insanity. DNAmy had seriously crashed deep in the insanity plane of that line and when she crashed, she probably bounced, Shego thought.

“Hey,” Shego returned the greeting from the other woman. “What the hell are you doing here? Didn’t you have that big science convention?” she asked as if she cared. There was a chance that talking might keep her from thinking about how she had been molested by that little punk she kept at home.

“Went,” DNAmy giggled. “It’s over and I’m back. Why do you look so down? Missing your sweetie-poo?” she asked Shego, who growled and wondered how in the world a grown woman could say such a thing and be serious about it.

“I don’t miss anybody. It’s my stupid pet,” Shego answered without thinking. She blamed her slip of the tongue on the fact that she was so upset.

“Oh, you have a pet? What do you have? I picture you as a dog or reptile person,” DNAmy commented while practically dancing around Shego because of the news.

The martial artist rolled her eyes; DNAmy just could not be any more wrong if she tried, Shego thought. To be honest, Shego really did not care much for animals. There was just too much drool, fur, scales, or just all around disgusting behavior to put up with. She did not see why people kept animals around, but as she thought about it, if it was the disgusting behavior that really bothered her, she would have thrown her brat out after the first week with the way the girl ate.

“I’ve got a…cat,” Shego answered because that was what Kim was closest to in her opinion. Her pet slept most of the day and typically was eating or begging to be caressed if she was not sleeping. That seemed like very cat-like behavior to Shego.

“Oh, a cat! How precious, how precious. Is it adorable?” the overexcited woman asked while bouncing around the irked officer.

“Yeah, I guess,” Shego answered with a shrug. She never thought to herself that her teen was adorable, but she recalled how the girl looked in her sleep and, well, Kim was a bit cute when she slept. That was not going to save the redhead from being boiled when Shego got home.

“A kitten or a full grown cat?” the scientist asked with a huge grin.

“Pretty much a kitten.”

“Oh, a he or she?”

“A she,” the raven-haired woman answered while wondering what she had done so wrong to where she was trapped in a conversation with a woman that she did not particularly like talking about a pet that she considered slaughtering the moment that she got home.

“Oh, a little girl kitten. Short or long fur? Does she just love cuddling up next to you?” DNAmy asked in an eager tone.

“Uh…yeah, now that you mention it.”

“I bet she just loves you. So, she’s the reason you look so down. What did the little cutesy kitten do?”

Shego growled again; what did her little freeloader do? She molested her in her sleep! She had fondled her breasts like it was nothing and then feigned innocence. The little brat! Oh, she was going to get it later, Shego silently vowed.

“She keeps crawling into my bed,” Shego answered the question of what her pet had done.

“Oh, silly! She just wants to be near you. She wants your attention,” DNAmy informed the officer.

“Whatever. She needs to keep her little paws to herself.”

“You have to think about it. She’s just a kitten and it’s a big world to her. You’re the most familiar and loving thing in her life. Being near you makes her feel safe and loved. You should savor it while you can. When she gets older, she’ll try to be more independent and she might shut you out from time to time,” DNAmy said.

Shego scoffed; she doubted that her pet would ever grow up. Her brat was probably lucky to have lived to eighteen. She bet that the little pest would stay lazy, whiny, and as incompetent as a new born kitten. She and DNAmy bid each other farewell, having killed more time than they had talking to each other.

DNAmy worked in their department crime lab most of the time. Like everybody else in their division, DNAmy did take side jobs. The whole place figured that they were too good to waste their talent just trying to keep their city safe; they needed to put some coin in their pockets too, they all figured. So, as long as it did not interfere with their police work, many of them did freelance work of some kind when they could.

Shego was back to being highly aggravated with her pet and she did not get much to distract her. She seethed over her pet’s actions all day as she thought on the matter more and more. That little brat had been blatantly massaging her breasts. She just wanted to strangle the pest.

“Is that really why you’re pissed or is it because you liked it?” Shego’s evil mind asked her.

The raven-haired female growled in pure fury. Of course she did not like it! First of all, her pet was a girl that was seven years younger than she was. Second of all, her pet was her pet and nothing more than that. Maybe her ex-pet if she did not start behaving herself. Yeah, maybe she should just throw the little bitch out, Shego considered. It would certainly make her life easier; it would be much less stressful.

Shego went home and opened the door to the apartment. She braced herself for her daily mugging, also known as her daily hugging. Her usual embrace did not come. She looked around and noted the overwhelming silence of the condo. She checked the sofa and saw that her girl was not napping on it, which was strange. She scanned the place and the apartment was empty as far as she could tell. Her pet was not home.

“Did she wise up and leave? Good riddance. I was going to throw the little bitch out anyway,” Shego informed the air.

The raven-haired female went and took a shower to wash away the grime of the day. She cleaned herself off and threw on her house clothes. She lounged on the couch and channel-surfed to find that there was nothing on, not even a fairly decent movie out of five hundred channels. What were the odds, she thought with a groan. She searched for other means to entertain herself.

Shego searched her bookshelf for something worth reading, but did not come across anything that she cared to go through. She sighed and turned to go look for something else to do, but stopped for a moment because she kicked a certain green handball. She glanced down at it and thought about playing fetch, but her pet was gone. She looked over at her pet’s precious box.

“I wonder if I went too far dangling her out of the window,” Shego mused and then she thought about what her pet had done.

Hell, no, she decided; she certainly had not gone too far. The redhead was lucky that she was still alive after fondling her. She was not going to stand for such depraved entertainment against her. She should have killed that little brat for her actions, but she had been merciful. Then she thought her pet being gone, possibly out on the street; yeah, her pet would be extremely lucky to be alive with the way she acted.

Shego believed that her pet was quite possibly the stupidest of all human beings in existence. She could not possibly survive a day on the street and a night on the street would be even worse. Some lunatic might have beaten and raped her moronic girl by the morning. Oh, that was just great, she sarcastically thought.

She told herself that she did not care about what happened to that disobedient teenager. Her pet was the idiot that left the house and whatever happened to her happened to her; it would all be on her. She figured that the imbecilic brat would get what was coming to her or if she had a teaspoon of brains and she ran into trouble, she would at the very least call the house. She was not so stupid as to stay away if she was in trouble, Shego told herself.

As a few hours went by, Shego found herself pacing the living room because it would seem that her pet was dumber than she assumed; the girl was not home yet and she had not called. She continuously told herself that she was not worried and she did not care about what happened to that stupid, trying girl. Sure, she had not eaten anything yet and she was wearing a path in her mint green carpet, but she was not worried. Then she heard the door open.

Shego turned around and went to the front of the apartment as the door swung open. Her pet entered and Shego could not believe it; the girl looked totally fine. Shego still reached out and yanked her teen to her despite the way the redhead appeared.

Kim let out a surprised yelp when she was pulled to her mistress. She was a bit stunned when she realized that the older woman was embracing her. She decided to just savor the delightful moment and voluntary warmth pressed against her. She wrapped her arms around Shego’s waist and then rested her head underneath the taller woman’s chin, nuzzling Shego’s neck with her face. Shego sighed in relief.

“Where the hell have you been?” Shego barked as she released her pet. She glared sternly at the teen as she went on to scold the girl. “You didn’t leave a note or call! You could’ve been out there dead for all I knew!” the raven-haired woman hollered.

“Sorry,” Kim whimpered.

“Sorry? Sorry doesn’t cut it! Just for that, no desserts tonight,” Shego decided.

“What? Why?”

“Punishment for being a naughty pet. Now, go get cleaned up,” Shego ordered.

Kim pouted, but she did as she was commanded to do. Later that night, Kim climbed down from her loft space and tiptoed into Shego’s bedroom. She crawled into the bed and moved closer to the older female. She positioned herself against Shego and rested her head underneath her mistress’ chin. She nuzzled Shego’s neck and placed her left hand on the raven-haired woman’s right breast. She heard Shego sighed and noted the small, content smile that worked its way onto her owner’s face.

(New day)

Shego entered the police station with an angry stride. She was soaking wet and picking wood chips out of her long, ebony mane. She was going to give her boss a piece of her mind with as many vulgar words as possible to get her idea across and possibly end their quarter century long friendship, followed by breaking something on Doctor Director. Maybe snap her shoulder or her lower leg bone, Shego considered; anything that would really hurt and make her life difficult for a few weeks. Yeah, that seemed like a really good idea and then a sky blue blur that she saw out of the corner of her eye took her mind off of everything.

“Drakken?” Shego wondered as she turned, but the blue blur had gotten into the elevator.

The upset agent shook her head and decided to go about her business because there was no way that that was Drakken. He was God only knew where, working on only a select few knew what. So, she dismissed the scientist from her mind and she went back to thinking about what she was going to do to her good friend. She barged into her chief’s office to discover the woman buried behind stacks of paperwork.

“What the hell was the big idea sending me after a fucking guy that turns into water,” Shego huffed.

“I thought the elemental adversary would be amusing,” Doctor Director remarked, not even bothering to recognize the younger female’s anger.

“Oh, really? I’m glad you’re amused. The funny thing is I’m starting to think it would be amusing to burn your office to the ground and you’ve got a lot of fuel in here for it,” the raven-haired woman declared.

“For once, I don’t doubt you considering your worthwhile job is back in town.”


“Oh, you didn’t seem him then?” Doctor Director asked.

“So, that was Drakken. Good to know,” Shego commented in a neutral tone.

“I suppose he was planning on surprising you again.”

“Idiot,” the younger woman sighed and shook her head.

“Yes, but he’s your idiot and that’s what counts, or that’s what you lead me to believe anyway. Since you’re in here, you can go handle another assignment.”

“The hell I can. If it involves more trees or water, I’m killing you when I come back,” Shego declared.

“No, it’s just some rouge robots.”

“Sounds simple,” Shego said in suspicious tone.

“They’ve got AI and they’re top secret weapons. You can’t destroy them as they are government property. Would you like back up?”

“Screw that. You know I don’t play well with others. Besides, the day a tin man kicks my ass is the day I hand in my fucking resignation,” Shego declared with a smirk.

Doctor Director laughed a bit as her employee stormed away. The brown-haired woman stared down at all of the complaints that littered her desk. She ran an insane branch of law enforcement, she would easily admit that, but their craziness did not make up for the destruction that followed a lot of her agents. She supposed the problem with having people who could quite possibly have been villains if given the chance was that they had a loose sense of morality, hospitality, responsibility, or any combination of the three. Her employees had the bad habit of apathy toward everything, except the specific instructions given to them, especially the employee that had just left her office.

Shego marched back into the station; her shift was thankfully over. She went to the showers because thanks to those robots, she was covered in all kinds of things that she did not even know what they were. She just wanted all foreign bodies off of her immediately if not sooner. She cleaned herself off and changed into her street clothes, ready to go home and lounge.

The officer figured she would go home and wake up her lazy pet. Knowing that girl, Shego thought, she probably spent the whole day on the sofa sleeping. So, she would wake her pet up and they would watch a bit of television. She would caress the teen’s soft red-orange hair and listen to her purr from the attention. Then she would make dinner, maybe even some pasta; yeah, that would make her pet happy. And then maybe, she would trim her pet’s nails if the girl was good. Yes, that sounded like a good plan, she decided.

“Headed home?” a familiar voice inquired as Shego left the locker room.

Shego turned around because she knew that voice very well. He was standing behind her; his skin was the color of the sky because of a mishap in his lab with chemicals years before and his small scar underneath his right eye, another accident while working on a project. He was not wearing his usual dark blue jumpsuit, which indicated that he was between jobs for the moment.

“Hey, Drakken,” Shego greeted him in her usual fed up tone.

“Still the same Shego,” he commented because of her attitude toward him and he had not done anything yet.

“Yeah, whatever. So, what’s up? Looking to renew my contract?” Shego inquired with half a smile.

“I’ll have to consider it if I get a real job around here.”

“Really? What are you doing here? You didn’t stop by to surprise me, did you?” she demanded to know.

Drakken shook his head. “Of course not. I know how much you hate that…now,” he muttered the end of his sentence and absently rubbed his right wrist with his left hand. Both of his wrists were sporting very light marks around them.

“So, what’re you doing here?” she asked in a puzzled tone.

“They just hired me,” he answered with a proud smile.

“Hired you? For what?”

“To improve the weapons for some of the more defenseless officers around here and take apart anything that’s confiscated to see how it works,” he explained with a rather proud smile.

“So, we’ll be working together?” she asked to make sure that she understood the information that her brain was receiving and refusing to believe.

“Isn’t that great?” he inquired with a grin.

“Peachy,” she grumbled.

“So, I was wondering if you’d like to go out and celebrate. No place fancy. I mean, we’re not dressed for that,” he pointed out, still smiling.

“Sure, why not,” she replied with a shrug.

Kim was sitting in her loft space, reading a book. She quickly put the book away and leaped down from her area as the door swung open. She attached herself to her mistress as Shego closed the door. Shego made a very annoyed noise while Kim had a very content smile on her face.

“Get the hell off of me! You never listen!” Shego barked as she pried her insane pet from her body. She practically flung Kim away from her. The redhead actually looked a bit wounded by her owner’s actions.

“Sorry…I just missed you is all,” Kim replied in a mumble.

“I wasn’t gone that long.”

“Well, I wanted to lay my head in your lap, but you weren’t here. I wanted to be petted, but you weren’t here. I wanted something to eat, but I can’t touch the stove or any of the knives.”

“Oh, so you didn’t miss me, you missed the food. You little freeloader,” Shego snapped.

Kim was not sure how to counter that and Shego walked away before something came to mind. Kim sighed and climbed back up to her area. She grabbed her book and went back to reading.

“Princess,” Shego called about a half hour later.

Kim put her book down and hopped down from the loft again. She looked around for her mistress and found her at the table. In front of Shego was a sandwich with some fries on the side. Kim looked down at the food.

“So, are you going to eat it or stare at it?” Shego demanded to know.

“Oh. You’re not going to eat?” Kim asked.

“I ate already.”


“Yeah, I had dinner with someone,” Shego informed her pet.

“Miss Betty?” Kim guessed.

“No, my boyfriend.”

Kim almost gasped, but she caught herself just in time. Her mouth did fall open in surprise. Since when did her mistress have a boyfriend?

Next time: Kim meets her mistress’ boyfriend and he notices that she seems familiar to him. He wants to know who she is. How does a person explain to a stranger that she was his girlfriend’s pet?

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