What do you do when think you have someone exactly where you want them and then it turns out the person has you instead?
“I accept,” the redhead replied to Shego’s proposal.
“You what?” the raven-haired woman shouted in disbelief. She was almost certain that she had never heard something so stupid in her life.
“I accept,” the girl repeated with a grin and two thumbs up.
“You’re serious?” Shego asked in a deadpan tone.
“Yup! This is so spanking. It must be my lucky day,” the girl proclaimed merrily. She was even smiling, much to Shego’s confusion.
Shego stared at her guest incredulously, like she was trying to figure out if the girl had a brain or not. She was missing how it was that the girl viewed it as lucky day to be offered to role of some stranger’s pet. The older woman could not help wondering what it was that she got herself into. Well, she could not back down now.
“Fine, then you’ll be my pet. So, what’s your name?” Shego inquired.
“Well, isn’t that really up to you?” the teenager replied.
“Well, whenever someone gets a pet, it’s the owner’s duty to name the pet. So, you get to tell me what my name is,” the teen explained.
The dark-haired woman eyed her new pet suspiciously. She wondered who in her right mind would let another person name her. She did not argue with the girl for the simple fact that her logic was sound. An owner always did name a pet, even though that was usually because a dog could not tell a person what his name was no matter how old he was.
Shego looked at her new pet and wondered what she should call the girl. She was leaning toward “Pumpkin” because of the orange tint to the girl’s fire red hair, but she also had the desire to just be very cliché and call the girl “Princess.” She was not sure which to go with, so she figured to go with both because she did not want it to seem like it was such a big decision.
“We’ll alternate between Pumpkin and Princess,” Shego informed her new girl.
“All right,” the redhead agreed to that with a smile. “So, do I get to sleep at the foot of your bed?” she asked with a laugh.
“No, I should buy a doghouse, but I don’t feel like wasting the money. I’ve got a loft storage space that I don’t use, so you can use that,” Shego told the teen.
“Spanking, I get my own space and everything!” the redhead cheered.
Shego only shook her head while still wondering what it was that she got herself into. After dinner, Shego showed her new pet to the space that would be hers. There was a ladder hanging from the wall near the door that led up to the loft, which was rather large space. It was about fifteen by fifteen feet with a hardwood floor. There was even window on the ceiling, like a mini-skylight.
The teen hopped up to the space and lay down on the floor like a lazy cat. She rolled around for a few moments before sighing like a content child. Shego just rolled her eyes to the girl’s behavior.
“Are you good to go?” the law enforcement agent asked in an annoyed tone.
“Well, I guess. Hey, could you wash my hair again? My hand isn’t feeling that good yet and you did a ferociously slamming job,” the redhead requested.
Shego sighed in frustration, but she did wash her new pet’s head once again. She also examined the girl’s injuries and bandaged the teen up. The girl seemed so very content and Shego smiled, but when she realized what she was doing, she went right back to scowling.
The redheaded teen lay on the black leather sofa, dozing like she did not have a care in the world. She twitched as the door clicked open. Shego stepped into the apartment and her pet shot off of the couch and charged her. Shego barely got the door shut before “Pumpkin” had latched onto her waist, hugging her tightly. Shego could not help growling in annoyance.
“What have I told you about hugging me?” Shego barked at the younger female. She had never met such a bothersome, loony eighteen-year-old.
The girl pouted and released her mistress. Shego looked down at the teen and when she saw the expression on the girl’s face, she sighed. She rubbed the top of the teen’s head like a person would pet a kitten. The redhead smiled; apparently, she was glad for the attention.
“So, what are we having for dinner?” the pet asked.
“Is that all you think about? All you do is eat and sleep. I bet you were sleeping before I came in,” Shego replied.
The teenager only smiled sheepishly, which let her owner know that she was right in her assumption. Shego pushed by her irksome, jovial pet and went to get comfortable. The redhead yawned while returning to the soft couch and she flopped down onto the cushions.
Shego came into the living room to see that the girl was watching cartoons. She shook her head as she went to the sofa and moved the teen’s head from the couch, so she could sit down. The redhead dropped her head onto Shego’s lap once the older woman was sitting.
“What’s this shit?” Shego demanded to know.
“Classic cartoons,” the redhead answered.
Shego only grunted, but she did not change the channel. She stroked the teen’s red hair while the girl dangled one of her arms from off of the couch. Before long, the girl was actually purring like a pleased feline. Occasionally, the teen laughed at something that happened on the show, but other than that they were quiet. Shego happened to glance down at the girl’s hand, which was resting in Shego’s lap.
“Pumpkin, we’re going to have to trim your nails,” the raven-haired woman commented as she took the teen’s hand in hers and stared at her fingernails. Yes, some of the nails were getting too long and others were chipped, so they needed to be cared for.
“Okay,” was the reply that was accompanied by a long yawn.
“And trim your hair.”
Shego knew that her pet would not argue because she was just that lazy. Ever since the girl agreed to be a pet, she allowed herself to be treated just like a cat or a dog would for the most part. She did not have any objections to most of the things that Shego wanted to do for her.
Once the cartoon show was done, Shego went to start dinner and then set about the tasks of grooming her pet. She trimmed the girl’s hair and nails before they sat down to eat. They then relaxed for a while before Shego ordered the girl to bed at the same time that she was going to sleep, which was a routine that they had worked themselves into already.
“Can I sleep in your bed?” the redhead requested.
“Don’t be stupid, Princess. Now, go to bed,” Shego commanded.
The teenager pouted, but that did not get her any sympathy points. She climbed up to her loft space to go to sleep. She had fluffy mattress that was similar to a pillow that probably could fit a daybed, but she had it on the floor. She had quite a few blankets; one of them with a cartoon rabbit on it that had its middle finger up. Her owner had thought that the blanket was cute apparently.
The girl crawled into bed and listened as Shego cut off all of the lights. She heard the door to her mistress’ bedroom open and close. She sat up and peered over the edge of her loft space and saw that Shego had gone to bed. The redhead grinned to herself.
Shego woke up in the morning and could just sense that something irksome was going on before she could ever focus her mind. She opened her emerald eyes and had to wait a moment for them to fully process what the problem was. See, space in her queen-size bed was being occupied by more than just her.
“Pumpkin!” Shego shouted in pure fury.
The teenager leaped up from her resting place, which had been very close to the owner of the apartment. She yelped when she noticed how upset her mistress appeared. She offered Shego a nervous grin, hoping that would gain her forgiveness.
“What did I tell you about sleeping in my bed?” Shego growled as she literally kicked the girl out of the bed. She did not make a noise when she hit the floor.
“But, your bed is more comfortable than mine!” the redhead whined while remaining on the mint green carpet.
“I don’t care,” Shego snarled. “Did you touch me?” she asked in a suspicious tone. Her pet liked to rub up against her, even though she knew that Shego disliked such actions.
“I only rested my head on your breasts.”
“What!” the green-skinned female screamed and her hands ignited in a familiar grass-colored flame.
“I was kidding!” the teenager cried as she ducked a plasma blast and then she made a run for the door.
“Come back here!” Shego ordered while casting the covers off of her body as if they greatly offended her. She leaped out of bed to chase that little pest.
The redhead yelped when she saw that her mistress planned to run after her. She slid underneath a big box in the living room and whimpered as she heard Shego stomping after her. She yapped again when there was banging on the top of the box.
“Come on out, Pumpkin,” Shego commanded.
“I was just kidding!” the teen wailed as if she was truly frightened.
“But, you were still in my bed. What did I tell you about that?”
“But, it’s so warm.”
“I don’t give a damn. Pets are not allowed on the bed. You’re not supposed to be in my bed. Now, come out and get what’s coming to you!” Shego barked.
“I’m not coming out.”
“Fine, go ahead and stay in the damn box.”
Shego stormed away from the cardboard shield and left her pet sulking in the living room. The redhead poked her head out of the box when she started to smell breakfast cooking. She cautiously made her way from underneath the container and slowly crawled to the counter that separated the kitchen and the dining room. She put her head halfway above the counter so that her eyes and half of her nose were visible. She watched the older woman fixing a plate of food.
“May I have some, please?” the girl requested.
“Naughty pets aren’t rewarded,” Shego replied.
The redhead pouted for a moment and then she began whining loudly like an injured puppy. She made the sound even more pathetically when it did not have any affect on the taller female. Shego growled when she noticed the girl’s expression, not to mention the bothersome noise coming from her.
“Fine, there!” Shego shouted while shoving the plate into the girl’s hands.
The redhead smiled in triumph and walked off to the table to eat the symbol of her victory. Shego made a plate for herself; they were having eggs and bacon. She then poured herself and the girl a glass of orange juice each before sitting down at the table. Shego glanced at the redhead to see her eating as she usual did, like a hungry bird. The teen practically swallowed food in front of her because of the speed that she used when eating.
“Pumpkin! We go through this every damn morning. Eat like you have teeth in your damn skull,” Shego commanded.
“Yes, ma’am,” the teen muttered and she began eating more civilly.
Shego ate breakfast and then prepared for work. She patted the teen on the head and then left to get to work. The girl marched to the sofa and flopped down on the black cushions.
“Let me see if I have this straight, you’re got a kid living at your house that you’re calling your pet and she doesn’t do anything at all?” Doctor Director asked because she was sure that she had misunderstood the words that Shego had just spoken.
Shego and her boss were at a café, having lunch. The place was only a couple of buildings down from their station. They had gone out because they doubted that they would be needed for anything as it was a slow crime week, especially the bizarre crimes that they handled. They had been doing a lot of paperwork that week.
“She gets on my fucking nerves,” Shego replied.
“Everybody does that. But, what I’m saying is you don’t make her do chores or something?” the one-eyed woman inquired.
“She’s just a pet,” Shego answered with a shrug.
“I know, but she’s capable of doing something, right?”
Shego pondered the question; was her pet capable of doing something right? In the beginning, she tried to get the girl to do some chores. At first, she sent the girl to do the grocery shopping and they ended up having pasta for five days straight because the stupid creature loved pasta so much that it was all she purchased. Shego supposed that it could have been worse considering how much the teen loved cake; she could have bought a week’s worth of cake to eat. Well, it did not seem that she could do that right.
Then there was the time that she tried to get the girl to do the laundry. What an adventure that was. The redhead had managed to flood the floor to the room and she ruined the first load of clothes; they looked like they had been in a fire. They did not try her luck on another load; Shego did the rest of the laundry and the girl sulked underneath her box until she was sure that the raven-haired woman was no longer upset with her.
Shego then tried one last thing and that was just for the teen to pick up some dry cleaning; oh, yeah, that was fun. She recalled getting a phone call from her distressed pet early in the evening. The girl whined over the phone about how she had gotten lost; Shego had a very good laugh while giving the redhead directions home. It was about that time that she stopped trying to give her pet chores or any responsibility whatsoever.
“She’s just a pet,” Shego replied to the question of the teen being capable of doing anything.
“So, she doesn’t cook?” Betty asked.
“She’s not allowed near the stove,” Shego answered. She really did not want to see the damage that her little idiot could do when fire was involved.
“She doesn’t clean?”
“The vacuum scares her.”
“Like a dog?”
“Yeah, just like a dog in fact,” Shego answered while remembering the girl cowering under her box while Shego rested the vacuum cleaner right next to the cardboard fortress. It had been rather amusing to Shego.
“So, she’s a freeloader.”
“She’s a pet,” the younger woman repeated for the third time.
“All right, all right. Did you ever find out where she came from or if she’s a runaway?”
“She said that she was a wanderer,” Shego replied in a cynical, yet amused tone.
“In other words, she was homeless.”
“That’s what I’ve gathered,” Shego confirmed.
“She could still be a homicidal maniac,” Betty pointed out in a know-it-all tone.
“Please, Pumpkin is so incapable of doing anything and so frightened of everything that I’m surprised that she even lived this long,” Shego declared and Betty laughed a little bit.
Shego went home and braced herself for what she knew was coming as she opened the door. She hardly got her foot through the opening before she was being hugged, much to her annoyance. She growled.
“What have I told you about this?” the older female hollered at the top of her lungs.
“I missed you,” the girl answered and then she noticed that her mistress was holding a white, plastic bag. Now, she was curious. “What’s that in the bag? Is it for me?” the teen asked eagerly.
“Get off of me!” Shego ordered.
The redhead pouted and released her rather cuddly owner, in her opinion anyway. Shego stepped further into the house and passed the shorter female. The girl followed Shego and continued to eye the bag that was in her hand. The raven-haired woman launched the bag onto the sofa and noticed that her pet was set to go after it.
“Don’t touch it,” Shego commanded with her back to the girl.
“Aw, man,” the redhead complained with a groan.
Shego went to get comfortable. She showered and then changed into house clothes of black shorts and a cut off green tank top. She then returned to the living room and looked around; the redhead was missing.
“Pumpkin,” Shego called while going to sit down on the sofa and she grabbed the white bag.
“Yes?” the redhead replied while jogging into the living room from the direction of the kitchen.
“You weren’t eating anymore sweets, were you?” Shego asked in a suspicious voice.
“Nope,” the redhead denied the charges. Her eating sweets without permission? Never because that would be against the rules, like sleeping in Shego’s bed.
“Then what were you doing?”
“Um…” she trailed off and tried to think of something.
“Bad girl. Bad,” Shego reprimanded her pet.
The redhead let her expression drop, but that did not gain her any sympathy points; she was working with a tough crowd, she thought. She sighed and then glanced at Shego and than at her box. She turned her eyes back to the older woman.
“Don’t even think about it. Come here,” Shego ordered.
The redhead considered going to the box and just waiting until the heat was off of her for eating the last of the cookies that had been in the kitchen, but she decided against that. She went to her owner, who pointed to the floor, silently commanding that her pet sit. The redhead did so without a word. Shego guessed that the one good thing about having a human pet was that she understood orders from movement.
“We’re going to play a game,” Shego informed the teenager.
“What game?” the redhead asked.
“Fetch,” the older woman answered and she pulled out a forest green handball from the bag.
“Fetch?” the girl echoed. She was kidding right? She had to be kidding.
“Yes, you know the game, right?”
“Well, yeah…” the redhead trailed off. Of course, she knew the game. She even played it when she was younger with other people’s dogs. She was aware that at the moment, she was not going to play how she usually played.
“So, we’re going to play and if you do a good job, you get a treat,” Shego told the teenager.
“All right!” the teen agreed with her usual enthusiastic grin.
Shego threw the ball once, pitching it across the room. The redhead went after the ball like a happy puppy would and proudly brought it back to Shego’s waiting hand, who tossed the ball again. Her pet gladly retrieved the sphere and brought it back again. After a few more tosses, Shego was suddenly bored; honestly, she did not see why the hell dog owners liked to play such a stupid game.
“Is that it?” the redhead asked curiously as she brought the ball back and Shego was not holding her hand out.
“Yeah, that’s it. Let’s work on some tricks,” Shego decided. She already figured out that she just liked to see how far she could take things before the girl snapped. She had yet to cross that line.
“Okay,” the teen agreed while dropping the ball and allowing it to bounce away.
“Roll over,” Shego commanded and her pet did the command. “Shake,” Shego said and she put her hand out. The redhead shook her owner’s hand as if she had paw. Shego then thought of some other stupid thing. “Speak,” she said.
“Woof?” the girl guessed was the right answer.
“Good girl,” Shego said and she rubbed the top of her pet’s head. Leave it to her to find such a mentally challenged eighteen-year-old, Shego thought.
“So, I get my treat?”
“Here, knock yourself out,” Shego replied while throwing the bag at the girl.
The redhead hopped on the bag as soon as it hit the floor. She opened it and pulled out a headband with black cat-like ears on it. She turned her olive green eyes up to Shego as if asking what kind of a gift was that.
“What?” Shego huffed.
“What’s this for?” the teen asked.
“To wear on your head.”
“On my head?” The redhead put the headband on her head and now it looked like she had cat ears.
“Yeah, I figured the cat ears would suit you. I’m going to make dinner,” Shego said and she got up.
The owner of the house went to the kitchen while the teen checked to see what else was in the bag. She pulled out a plush toy and saw that it was cuddle buddy, a pandaroo. She grinned and charged into the kitchen, hugging the raven-haired woman around the waist and from behind.
“Ah! Why are you hugging me?” Shego screamed in frustration.
“Because you’re such a great master,” the redhead answered.
“Well, get off of me!”
The redhead grinned and released the angry Shego. The older woman glanced at her joyful pet and then turned her attention back to her task. The night went on as usual and they both retired to bed with Shego warning her disobedient girl that should she wake up and find the redhead near her, someone was going to end up with third degree burns. Her seemingly brain-dead pet only smiled at the threat.
The redhead tossed herself onto her mattress and waited for a little while. She rolled around, considering if she should go get in Shego’s very comfortable bed. She wondered if the woman had any idea of how warm her body was; the teen doubted it.
“She probably doesn’t know how comfortable she is. Well, maybe I’ll stick around a bit longer and she’ll figure it out,” the redhead decided and she rolled over onto her stomach. She was about to close her eyes when she heard a familiar, but faint beeping sound. She pulled out a blue device from underneath her pillow.
“What’s the stich, Wade?”
Next chapter Kim acts a bit more like she usually does and Shego kicks some butt.