Chapter 11



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TITLE: Half-baked

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters, except for the ones that I usually claim. The other ones all belong to Disney, ya heard.

SUMMARY: Sequel to Pariah. There is a Possible clan get together at the Lazy C Ranch. Insults fly while problems arise. Shego never knew that Montana could be so interesting.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Other, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: PG-13 / DE: 12

Words: 3035

Shego was staying calm to avoid going into shock and to avoid causing any panic over her. She was wounded and losing a lot of blood while waiting on Trin, who was supposedly bringing the first-aid kit. She just had not shown up yet and then there was the problem that even if she did show up, they were locked down in the barn that doubled as a panic room. There was no guarantee that the blonde would be able to get in. There was also no guarantee that the farsighted young woman was alive considering that she was alone and against a freaky circus act.

Shego would not admit it, but she had faith in Trin to make it, just like Kim did. Hey, Trin was the older sister of Kim Possible; she had to be able to do some incredible things when it was called for. Shego also knew from sparring with the blonde that it would take a lot to kill her.

“That was ri-damn-diculous,” Trin complained with a cough as she limped into the barn from the back. She had seen better days easily, everyone would agree on that. She was sweating and looked ready to fall out.

“Sis!” her siblings hollered with joy. They were glad that she made it in safely…well, she made it in anyway. She did not look like she made it in too safely.

“Here’s your damn first-aid kit. You’re such a troublesome bitch,” Trin said to Shego while resisting the desire to fling the kit at the super-powered female. She doubted that she would hit the green-skinned woman in forehead like she wanted to if she threw the thing anyway.

“What the hell happened to you?” Shego inquired as she turned her attention to the blonde. Trin looked like she had been mauled by tigers and the tigers might have won.

Trin waved Shego off; she really was not looking her best and she did not feel like bothering with the raven-haired annoyance. Blood was pouring down her forehead and her typically neat clothing was ripped in several different places. Blood was dripping down her left arm and painting the floor with quarter-sized spots.

The farsighted female acted as if nothing was wrong with her and she sat down. She handed the first-aid kit to her mother; see, having a doctor around always came in handy when it came to their family. She was also holding several other curious items; the most curious of them all was a rifle.

“Girl, what are you doing with that gun?” Nana demanded to know the second that she saw the rifle. She did not trust Trin with a gun and that was apparent just from the look on her face.

“I figured that we could all chip in on a suicide pact. I was rather hoping you’d go first,” Trin replied as if she was serious. As if she would bother with hurting someone in the family right now when they other things to deal with, she thought.

“If I get to shoot you, I’m actually in,” Shego remarked.

“See if I ever get you a first-aid kit again,” the blonde replied.

Shego merely gave Trin the finger and moved on with her life; Trin did the same. Anne went to take care of Shego’s wounds, which appeared worse than what the former thief tried to make them seem. The surgeon did think that it was amazing that Shego was still conscious considering how deep the cuts were and how much blood she had lost.

Tatsu went to be closer to Trin and she would have embraced the blonde to show her joy that Trin had made it to the barn. But, the big-foot was still clinging to her, so it would have made the hug a little awkward. So, instead, Tatsu tried to see if her beloved was as all right as she was pretending to be. She doubted that Trin was as good as she was attempting to look considering the state of her clothing and the crimson liquid oozing from her head.

“Okay?” Tatsu asked the blonde in her usual low voice.

“I’m fine,” Trin tried to assure her baby. Well, she hoped that she was fine. She was not going to turn down medical attention once it was her turn, and that much was certain.

“Sis, what’s the gun for?” Tim asked curiously. The twins knew that no one in their family worked with guns on a semi-regular basis, except for when their uncle Slim went hunting on occasion and he did not even kill animals. He shot them with paint and then laughed as they fled into the woods.

“Like I said, I have half of a plan,” Trin replied while moving the rifle from her aching shoulder.

“What’s your plan?” Jim inquired.

“I’ll tell you as soon as I think of it,” the blonde answered. She was not sure what she wanted to do, but she knew that she was going to need that rifle. Pieces in her mind were coming together, but had not linked together yet, which was why she continued to state that she only had half of a plan.

Trin let out a sigh and just relaxed for a second; damn those monsters, she silently cursed. It was going to be hard to get anything done if both she and Shego were not at a hundred percent. After all, it was not like either of them were going to just let Kim save the day and it was not because they did not think that she could do so. There was just no way in hell, not a chance in the whole world, that Trin would allow her little sister to save her or that Shego would let anybody, Kim especially, save her. They were too stubborn to let something like that happen.

“How is she?” Trin asked her mother, nodding toward Shego, hoping to get an idea of what she was working with.

“I’m fine,” Shego barked. She hated it when people talked about her like she was not even there. She also hated that the blonde was trying to make it seem like she was totally incapacitated when all she had were a couple of scratches.

“I wasn’t asking you. I’m looking for a medical opinion on your condition to know what we’re working with,” the blonde riposted.

“We’re working with me being fine, so think of something to get us out of here, brainiac,” Shego huffed.

She was getting bandaged up because she refused to take stitches for her wounds. She informed Anne that she healed faster than normal human beings, so stitches would a waste of time on her. The surgeon argued only a little before just trusting that Shego knew her own body and its limitations, even though the cuts were deep. The ex-sidekick had also refused stitches because they would just take too long and she would rather just get the fighting out the way.

“All right, you’re fine and I’m fine. I guess the half-baked idea I have can work,” the farsighted female stated. She was willing to bet that Shego was about as fine as she was, but at least she knew that they would push each other because they both would want to prove that they were capable of doing anything.

“What is your half-baked scheme?” the green-skinned woman inquired.

“First, Kim, take this,” Trin said.

The blonde threw her sister a black bag. Kim quickly opened it to find a collapsible metallic staff inside. She knew how to fight with a lot of weapons, a staff included on that long list, but she often chose not to. She then turned to her sister for an explanation as to why she was given the weapon.

“We’re going to run interference to keep those monsters busy, so you’ll need as much of an advantage as you can get,” Trin explained.

“Interference? Why don’t we just go out there and beat them up? We can do it. They’re not that tough,” Kim pointed out.

They were not that tough? Apparently, her sister’s wounds and her girlfriend’s wounds were not proof enough that the monsters were somewhat formidable. All Kim seemed to consider at the moment was that she had not been wounded and she had easily taken down the beasts.

“No, but there’s a lot more of them than we’ve seen, I suspect. We’d never make it through all of them. I mean, look at Shego,” Trin argued and motioned to the injured female.

“Hey, shut up!” Shego snarled. “Why don’t you look at yourself? You look like you barely escaped a gang-rape.”

“And you look like you showed up empty handed to a swordfight,” the blonde countered.

“You two!” Kim and Anne scolded the pair. Shego and Trin turned their attention away from each other to show that they were not going to argue anymore.

Kim had to admit that Trin had a point; they probably would never make it through all of the monsters to get to DNAmy. Trin and Shego were already injured and even if they did make it to DNAmy, she still had a dragon the size of a truck to defend her. The redheaded hero furrowed her eyebrows; she was not the one when it came to thinking of strategies. She usually just winged it and she handled herself like that. Her sister liked to calculate things out, which she supposed went well considering their current situation since so many lives were at risk.

“All right, so we’re decoys. What’s the big plan?” Shego inquired while trying her best to not hiss in pain or yell at the good doctor, who was only trying to help, but was seriously pissing her off with all of the stinging antiseptic ointment going on her wounds. She made a mental note to never get injured again if it meant that a doctor was going to have to work on her, especially if it was going to be a doctor that she could not threaten to kill if the doctor caused her pain.

Anne actually noticed all of the subtle twitches that Shego was having when she made contact with the wounds. She knew that everything used to clean the cuts stung, but it would not be helped. She just decided not to address the issue since the pale woman was not saying anything. She had place a soothing hand on Shego’s good shoulder when the former villainess jumped ever so slightly and that seemed to help keep Shego calm.

“Jim, Tim,” Trin called her brothers.

“Yeah?” the twins asked, hoping that they were going to get in on the action. One of the things that made Trin way cooler than Kim was that she let them in on things occasionally.

“Do you two think that you can build a net launcher out of the things that are in here?” the blonde inquired.

“No problem!” they answered with grins. Yes, they were going to get to be a part of things; they were going to get to take down a super-villain. It was so cool.

“Dad, help them out, so that the project goes fast enough,” Trin said.

“No problem, kiddo,” James replied as he began scanning the place for things to use to create the net launchers.

“Well, what’s the plan, genius?” Shego repeated her question in an irked tone. She knew that she was being purposely ignored because Trin was an ass.

“Mom,” Trin called.

“Yes?” Anne replied while making sure not to take her eyes away from Shego’s wounds. She would feel a lot better about things if the former thief would just let her stitch everything up, but she just had to trust that the younger woman knew her own body.

“This is for you,” the blonde said as she tossed her mother the rifle that she had brought in. Anne caught the gun with ease and also with one hand.

“I didn’t plan on shooting anyone today, dear,” the neurosurgeon remarked with a small, amused smile. She really had no plan to shoot anyone ever lately.

“Yeah, well, I doubt that any of us planned on today going as it is. I mean, I had plans for this outfit to make it through the day. I’ve also got these,” Trin said while pulling out four vials that had dart tips on the end.

“And those are?” the doctor asked curiously while eyeing the containers. She wondered what it was her daughter’s mind had cooked up.

“Elephant tranquilizers,” Trin answered and that earned her looks from everyone, even though they all knew that they should never be surprised with what the blonde might have in her possession. Anne decided to ask the question that was on everyone’s minds.

“Why are you carrying elephant tranquilizers?” the elder redhead inquired.

“Shin had them a while ago. I thought it would be best to take them from him before he hurt himself with them. I put them in my duffle bag and just forgot they were in there until I fished out all of my shuriken,” the farsighted Possible explained.

Now, of course, the logical follow-up question would be: why did Shin have elephant tranquilizers? But, they knew to never be surprised by what he had. Sometimes, they did wonder what he thought he was going to do with some of the items that he carried around.

“Okay, but what the hell is the plan?” Shego demanded to know.

“Simple enough. You, Kim, and I go out there and keep the crazy circus occupied. Mom will fire these tranquilizers at the dragon…unless she’s in the mood to kill that strange woman riding the dragon, which I won’t object to,” Trin said.

“I will shoot the dragon. If I wanted to shoot people, I would’ve become a sniper like my father wanted,” Anne commented in a dry tone.

Shego craned an eyebrow to that response. It seemed that there was more to the good doctor than the fact that she was really hurting Shego’s injuries with that antiseptic stuff. She was going to have to stop being surprised when she learned new things about the Possible family; it was such waste of energy and she should see things coming in her opinion. After all, Kim and Trin were not average, so why should their mother be average?

“All right, all right, you’ll shoot the dragon. You would really solve our problems in you hit the whale controlling everything, though,” Trin pointed out.

“I won’t,” her mother insisted.

“Fine, fine, fine. Don’t shoot her then. I figure four elephant tranquilizers should be able to take down a cruise ship and the dragon isn’t that big, so the four should be enough. Once the dragon is down, the woman doesn’t have anywhere to go. I mean, I doubt that she’d be able to run far, even if she did decide to run. So then, the boys can cast the net at her and make sure that she doesn’t get away,” Trin explained her plan.

“There are a lot of factors in that plan,” Shego commented. A lot of unreliable factors in her opinion.

“Do you have a better one?” Trin inquired.

Shego did not respond to that; of course she did not have a better plan. She did not plan out battles. She did what Kim did; she winged when she was in a fight. Burglaries were planned out; fights were supposed to be fought.

The pale green woman did not like that they were leaving important things to Anne, James, and the twins of all people. She did notice that Kim had not objected, so maybe everything would be all right. Kim thought that the plan was sound, as long as the tweebs did not blow their part of the deal. At least their father would be helping the boys out and their uncle would more than likely join them because he would want to help.

“Kim, you shouldn’t take orders from her. You should go out there and do what you always do,” Joss argued. She thought that Trin would only get in the way of Kim being the hero that she always was. She also did not see why Kim was listening to Trin in the first place.

“Shut up, Joss,” Trin hissed in a somewhat angry tone; she had beat Shego to saying it. That little girl was trying to get Kim to run to her death by spouting some nonsense like that. After all, their wounds were not being faked. They were seriously injured and they did not want Kim to end up that way too; it certainly would not do the rest of the group any good if Kim was hurt too.

“Trin,” her parents reprimanded her for her rudeness toward her cousin. The blonde merely frowned.

“So, when do we get this scatter-brained, half-baked, probably-going-to-get-us-killed plan going?” Shego inquired.

“As soon as you stop needing tending to,” Trin replied.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Shego demanded to know in an outraged tone.

“Shego, calm down,” Kim commanded, mostly because if her girlfriend got worked up, she was only going to aggravate her wounds. Besides, the last thing they all needed were Trin and Shego losing focus on the matter at hand to physically fight with each other, which it seemed like they were going to do. Sure, it had never happened before, but a lot of things that had never happened before were happening that day.

“After this is over, I’m taking four-eyes outside,” Shego proclaimed.

“I’ll meet you out there,” Trin declared and Kim looked beyond exasperated. The fact that made what was going on worse was that Trin and Shego were acting like it was a normal day and were getting on each other like it was a typical day, even though it was not. They did not have time for their usual banter, yet they were pretending that it was all right to be at each other’s throats. They needed to focus; after all, they did have one hell of a task ahead of them.

Next time: the half-a-plan goes into action.

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