A History of Yesterday

Chapter 2

T-minus nine


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TITLE: T-minus nine

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own these characters. Disney does.

SUMMARY: It starts with a honeymoon and ends with an affair. Or does it start with an affair and end with a honeymoon? Whichever.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Kim, Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 3994

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Shego asked Kim. She was sitting on the sofa in their apartment and Kim was heading toward the door with a bag in her hand.

“Shego, I’m leaving,” Kim answered the obvious.

“What?” Shego asked with a puzzled yet upset expression. She knew what Kim meant by those simple words.

“I’m leaving,” the redhead repeated.

The green-skinned former thief stared at her girlfriend, attempting to gauge just how serious Kim might be. The younger woman returned the gaze with just as much conviction as she was feeling at the moment. She was so sick of all of the bullshit that she had to put up with living with and loving that emerald-eyed banshee. She knew that she had to get out of the relationship because it just hurt too much to stay.

“Fine, go,” Shego dared her girlfriend in a tone that made it seem like she did not care. She did not feel like being bothered with Kim if she was going to be so dramatic.

The slender hero did not hesitate in walking out of the door and out of Shego’s life. Once she was in the hall, she fell against the hall and choked back a sob. She loved Shego so much, but she could not take it anymore. There was too much pain involved loving such a frigid, closed off woman and she just could not take it anymore.

The redheaded adventurer got herself together and made her way downstairs to her car. She tossed her bag into the backseat and then hopped behind the wheel. She drove home because it was the only place that she could without being a burden in her opinion. Besides, she did not want anyone to know that she had left Shego just yet.

She could not believe that heartless bitch just told her to leave. She did not make any attempts to argue or any moves to stop her. She just told her to go, like she did not even care; Kim had actually expected as much. Shego was not affectionate in any way and a lot of the time it seemed like she could careless than nothing about Kim.

The pale woman had never taken the time to say any kind of loving words to Kim. Most of the time, it seemed that she was just with Kim for the sex and for someone to wait on her hand and foot. Well, to hell with that! Kim Possible was nobody’s maid or whore.

The more that she thought about the evening, the angrier Kim became. By the time that she made it to her parents’ house, she was fighting off tears and she was losing the battle rather badly. Tears were pouring down her face like a raging river and it was the first thing that her mother noticed when she answered the door.

“Kim, sweetheart, what’s wrong?” Mrs. Possible asked as she ushered her weeping daughter into the house.

Mrs. Possible did note the bag in her daughter’s hand as she closed the door, so she could guess what was wrong. She would not say her hypothesis out loud; she would rather Kim just say what the problem was. The younger redhead did not hesitate to say what her problem was.

“I’m in love with an insensitive cow!” Kim bawled.

“What’s going on?” Mr. Possible inquired while poking his head out of the living room, obviously attracted by the noise. His wife quietly dismissed him by shaking her head; she knew that he would not be able to help or maybe even handle the situation. He decided to back away when he noticed Kim crying and she had a suspicious-looking bag in her hands; he was not so sure that he could do anything for Kim at the moment.

“Kim, did you leave Shego?” her mother asked in a low, soothing tone.

“Yes. She even told me to go. I mean, could you imagine? I mean, she’s such a damn witch,” the slim hero sniffled as she tried to halt all of her weeping. Her mother hugged her to help comfort her, which only helped a little; that was expected, though considering how she had just left the woman that she loved.

“You don’t mean that. Surely, she was just joking when she told you to go,” the doctor softly argued.

“She wasn’t and it doesn’t even matter. I’m never going back to her, ever. I just can’t take it anymore. I can’t. My feelings don’t mean a damn thing to her. She doesn’t care about me, Mom. She just doesn’t care.”

“Yes, she does,” her mother replied.

The neurosurgeon would easily admit that Shego cared about Kim because of the lifestyle change the pale woman had made for the hero. The problem was not that Shego did care, but that she hardly expressed her feelings, if she ever did at all. She was a very closed-off person, even with Kim, but Mrs. Possible did believe that the super-powered woman cared about Kim.

Of course, Mrs. Possible could see her daughter’s side of things too. Kim gave her heart and soul to Shego and felt like she was not getting anything in return for that. It was a draining endeavor and eventually one had to withdraw or just dry up. Kim had obviously decided to withdraw, which actually was the wise decision in her mother’s opinion. It was better to live and love another day than to waste away with someone who would just allow it to happen.

“Do you want to talk about it?” the doctor asked her child, even though Kim was already somewhat talking about it.

“I just can’t take it anymore. I mean, you know how she is,” the hero stated.

“I do know,” her mother answered and concurred.

“I just can’t take it anymore.”

“I know. It’ll be all right. It’ll be all right,” Mrs. Possible promised.

Shego had watched television for a long while after Kim had walked out. She was still calling the adventurer’s bluff. It was not until the next morning when she woke up alone and in silence that she realized that her girlfriend might have been being completely serious. But, that did not make any sense at all and Shego did not mean that in any kind of arrogant way. There were several reasons why it did not make any sense for Kim to just randomly walk out on her.

Kim had stuck with her through all sorts of bad times. From when she had trouble with her sticky fingers and explosive temper to when she had to buy a clean slate by acting as a dog for Global Justice and declaring that Kim would baby-sit her to prove that she was not going to go back to being a mercenary for the wrong side. She had been through so much crap with Kim right along her side, supporting her all the way through everything, making her day easier to get through by being there. She had worked for Global Justice to be with Kim; she had done quite a bit to be with the hyperactive redhead. So, she did not think that it made sense for Kim to just leave her now that she had her life in such terrific order. Why sit through all of the trials and tribulations to leave when things were getting better? That was just stupid and her lover was not usually stupid.

So, why had her girlfriend walked out of the door? She did not understand why Kim had left. She thought that maybe if she gave her some time, Kim would return on her own because they had been through so much together. So, she had to come back; well, that was what Shego concluded.

After all, Kim did love her. She said so many times over the course of their relationship. So, if the petite adventure loved her, she should eventually come back to her, Shego reasoned. She should come back soon in fact.

Besides, who could leave her, Shego pondered. She was drop dead gorgeous, intelligent, and deadly; that was three kinds of sexy as far as she was concerned. She did not even need to mention that she was fun-loving and adventurous, so nobody could leave her in her opinion. She left lovers, not the other way. So, she was not worried; Kim would come back to her. She was certain of that.

A couple of days went by and Kim did not return home, but Shego told herself that she did not care. She did not need the redhead around. In fact, most of the time, the goody-goody was a spoilsport, a wet blanket. She always wanted to do the right thing or help someone, even if they had plenty of reasons why they should just leave well enough alone. It was rather bothersome.

And then, she was always bitching over something or another, Shego thought. In fact, almost all Kim did was bitch about something. She was always griping about cooking, cleaning, and just things that Shego never considered doing a damn thing about.

Shego never bothered to clean up around the house because the place was never messed up to the point to make her get off of her butt to do something because Kim was neurotic it would seem. The second a bit of clutter was trying to exist in their house, the younger woman was on the job and seeming to appear out of nowhere to straighten it out. Shego did not get the chance to clean because Kim was always on the case.

With the cooking issue, the little hero often just beat her partner to that too. Shego was still accustomed to eating later than her girlfriend even now. Kim liked to keep a schedule, which the raven-haired woman typically could live without. The redhead felt that dinner should be ready by a certain time while Shego felt that if she was not hungry yet, there was no reason to prepare food. Life did not have to work on a clock and she thought that Kim should be able to understand that; her day was full of spontaneous events, especially if she got a call from Wade. She needed to learn to just relax and go with the flow, in Shego’s opinion anyway; damn type A personality.

So, she was all right with Kim being gone. She could stop worrying about the stupid schedule and all of the whining. Life would be much less annoying without Kim than with Kim, she assured herself.

By the fourth day, Shego had an extremely new outlook on the matter. She truly missed having her Princess around. She missed having that slender body pressed against hers while they slept. She missed all of the smiles that her Princess had for her during the day. She missed her lover altogether and she wondered what in the hell she had been thinking when she told her Princess that she could leave. What the hell was wrong with her?

The pale martial artist should have stopped her lover, she realized. She should have made that little do-gooder stay and talk things over to understand why she wanted to leave and then she could have convinced her not to go. Instead, she had done the foolish thing and called Kim’s bluff, thinking too much with her ego and not her brain. Kim did not bluff ever, so Shego did not know why she thought that her girl would start bluffing now. There was no reason for her lover to bluff now.

Why had her Princess left her, Shego wondered. She did not see a reason for the redhead to leave her now of all times. They were going pretty good compared to other times in their relationship. They were stable and then she came out of the blue with her whole walking out drama. Shego doubted that she helped by telling Kim to go and not even suggesting that they talk about whatever was bothering her. But, now that it was on her mind, Shego could guess why her lover had left.

They had always had issues that persisted with their relationship like everyone else on the planet, but two specific issues were longstanding with them. There was the issue of Kim believing that Shego did not trust her as much as she trusted Shego, which was not really Shego’s fault; well, in Shego’s opinion anyway. She hardly thought about that, but she had not done anything to show that Kim was incorrect in her thinking, so maybe it was a bit her fault.

Then there was the fact that Shego just was not emotionally supportive and she really had not been through out their whole relationship, but it seemed that Kim was willing to overlook that flaw for a long time. Shego knew that she was closed off, but that was how she was and she thought that she was getting away with it. Apparently, she was wrong.

She just hated being mushy; she looked at it as a weakness. She actually liked that Kim gushed over her, but she just never could see herself returning the favor. It seemed so just sickening to her to do the things that Kim did; not that she ever wanted the younger woman to stop.

Shego detested the thought of acknowledging her emotions. It was unthinkable to her to even consider talking about her feelings or telling someone what was going on inside of her. Her emotions were her own business. Okay, maybe that was not entirely true, she conceded.

Maybe it was just easier to hide her emotions and cover up everything with sarcasm, cynicism, an overall nasty personality most of the time. It was safer that way, but if she thought like that even when it came to her Princess, she could see why Kim left. Maybe she did not trust her Princess as much as she thought that she did. Kim put her emotions out there everyday while Shego was the opposite and almost never made her feelings known, unless she was doing something physical anyway.

In fact, if Shego was saying something that involved her emotions, it was usually because she was angry or vexed with something. So, she only let her aggravation be known. As far as Kim could tell, she probably thought that her girlfriend could only be frustrated or neutral, but almost nothing else.

Shego sighed. She needed to do something and she hoped that it was not too late. She did not want to lose Kim and she would do anything to get her back. She had stayed with her for so long because she needed Kim. She could not live without the hero and she knew that deep down; she was willing to admit it to herself now. It was time to admit it to Kim now too.

“Shego,” Mrs. Possible said with a surprised tone of voice as she opened the door.

“Hey, Dr. P. Is Kimmie here?” Shego asked. She could, of course, call Kim’s parents by their first names if she felt like it, but she thought that “doctor P” had a good ring to it.

“She’s up in her room,” Mrs. Possible answered.

The doctor had been expecting Shego to show up, but she actually thought that it might take longer than four days. She believed that because she knew that Shego was a very stubborn woman and hated to acknowledge when she was wrong. She thought that Kim might be staying with them for at least a couple of weeks before the pale woman showed up; she thought that Shego would have just stewed in her frustration for at least a fortnight.

Mrs. Possible knew that the pale woman would miss Kim, but she figured it would take her a long time to act on those feelings. She did not like admitting fault and she probably hated knowing that she had to be the one to bend instead of Kim, the doctor figured. The ex-villainess would detest being aware just how well Kim’s mother knew her.

“Thanks,” Shego muttered.

“She’s still very upset,” Mrs. Possible warned the former thief.

Shego nodded because she expected as much. She had just let Kim go, after all. She might as well had laughed at the hero and told her that she did not give a fuck if she left as far as she could tell. It was such a stupid move; the emerald-eyed female could hardly believe that she could do something so idiotic.

The raven-haired woman climbed the stairs and went to her lover’s old bedroom. She saw Kim sitting at her desk in front of the computer, writing something, be it a science research paper or some article for an adventure magazine, Shego did not know and did not care at the moment. She knocked to get Kim’s attention. The redhead turned to the door as the pale woman closed it. The hero frowned at the sight of the last person she wanted to see; well, that was what she told herself anyway.

“What do you want?” Kim demanded to know.

“I wanted to talk,” Shego replied.

“Well, I don’t want to talk,” the redhead stated rather bluntly.

“Princess,” the green-skinned woman sighed.

“Just go away,” Kim ordered.

“After you hear me out.”

“I don’t want to hear you out. I just want you to go away. I don’t want to see you anymore,” the shorter female stated with conviction, almost like she meant those words.

“You know you don’t mean that,” Shego said.

“I do. So leave,” Kim commanded her ex-girlfriend.

“Kimmie, I miss you,” Shego admitted quickly to get things underway.

The emerald-eyed female figured that she needed to start talking before Kim felt that she needed to back up her desires of getting Shego out of the room. The last thing that Shego wanted to do was get into a physical fight, even though if she won, she could force Kim to listen. But, that was only if she won.

“I’ve been so miserable without you. I know why you left and I’m sorry for the way I’ve been. You know how I feel about you, right?” Shego asked.

She thought that the apology would be enough because she never admitted fault, but she was at the moment. Kim should know that she was trying to reach out and reconnect. She hoped that the few words would be at least enough to her lover to return home and they could continue their relationship; they had a good thing going as far as the pale fighter was concerned.

“Are you done?” Kim inquired, obviously unaffected and unimpressed with Shego’s few sentences and apology, if it could even be called that, she thought.

Shego frowned; she should have known that it would take more than one “I miss you” and one “I’m sorry” to get her Princess back. She wished that was all it would take, but she had been closed off for too long. She stepped further into the room and went over to her girl. She knelled down in front of Kim and leaned on the redhead’s knees; a rather submissive position, they both noted, which was completely atypical for Shego.

“Pumpkin, we both know that I don’t always make the best decisions for whatever reason and the worst one to date was letting you walk out that door without tackling you and pleading with you to stay. I don’t want you to leave me. I never want you to leave me and I never have, you know that. I can’t live without you. I need you like I need air, like I need people to beat up. I need you to keep on living. I’ll do anything for you to stay with me. I love you so much. I love you and it hurts to be without you. Please, don’t leave me. I love you,” Shego spilled her guts because she honestly did not want Kim to leave her; she never wanted to Kim to leave her. Kim was all she had in life now; Kim was her life.

The redhead’s facial expression did not change once Shego was done with her heartfelt confession. She had never imagined that Shego would say those three simple, yet powerful words to her. She was touched and her eyes began to water.

“Kimmie, don’t cry,” Shego pled, especially since she did not know what the tears meant. They could have been tears of joy to finally hear those words or they could have been tears of realization that she still did not wish to be with the super-powered ex-thief.

“I wanted to hear you say that for so long,” the redhead stated while wiping her tears.

“I will always love you. Please, stay with me. Don’t leave me. You’re the only person I will ever love. I promise to do better than I have, just stay with me. Please, stay with me,” the pale woman begged.

Kim could not believe it; she could not believe how distressed her lover appeared and sounded. She wanted to stay with Shego; she loved her with all of her heart. She decided that she was going to believe the green-skinned woman because she wanted to be with Shego and she wanted to give her a chance to make up for the lack of emotional support. She doubted that she would ever love someone like she loved Shego and if Shego felt the same way, then she was certain Shego would do her best to be there. She leaned down and gently kissed Shego on the lips.

“I’ll stay,” she whispered.

That was all that Shego needed to hear. She went in for another kiss, much deeper than that first one. She climbed to her feet while making sure that her lips remained on her redheaded angel. She then went into her pocket and pulled out a jewelry box. She pulled her lips a couple of millimeters from Kim’s mouth because she needed to ask a very important question.

“Princess, I swear, I’ll cherish you everyday forever and always. So, would you do me the honor of being my wife?” Shego asked in a whisper.

“What?” Kim asked in total shock and disbelief.

“Would you please be my wife? I can’t live without you, so will you marry me?” Shego inquired and Kim pulled away from her to stare into her emerald eyes.

“You’re serious?” the hero asked because she had never heard Shego utter the word “marriage” ever.

“I am. Marry me,” Shego stated.

The redhead was completely speechless. Marriage was a big step, but she had faith in Shego and she knew that her girlfriend was being very serious about things. While Shego had never brought up marriage before, she understood it was a big step and she would try her best to make everything work. She knew that she wanted to be with Kim always and she would cherish the gift that was standing before always. So, they might as well get married, in her opinion.

“I will,” Kim answered and she flung herself into her lover. She planted a long, passionate kiss on Shego’s mouth. She hoped that she made the right decision. She loved Shego so much that she could only have faith in her to be true to her word. It was good to know that she had finally gained Shego’s trust and got to hear those special three words. She felt confident that their marriage would work as long as Shego was being sincere.

Before this happened: Kim surprised Shego with a special night, which led her to thinking about Shego’s emotional distance (although all of the introspection in this chapter is supposed to handle why Kim left, but I get the feeling I didn’t do such a great job).

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