Memoirs of the Malcontent

Chapter 8

Top Secret


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TITLE: Top Secret

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: I don’t own most of the characters. I did come up with Trin, Shin, and Tatsu, so they’re mine. Everybody else goes to Disney.

I don’t own these characters, except for Trin, Shin, Tatsu, and Shin’s parents. Everyone else is owned by Disney.

SUMMARY: Prequel to Pariah. Trin and Shin share their history in a series of one shots.

TYPE: No Romance, Kim/Shego

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

NOTE: Parentheses indicate whose POV things are from.

Okay, people, I meant to update this sooner, but things were acting all funny. I tell you what, from now on, if I get three reviews for a chapter, I will update everyday, barring any accidents, like me being struck by lightning or something. Cool? Enjoy.

Words: 3106


The first time that we went on a field mission for Global Justice was weird. Auntie Tashawna pretty much babysat us for that mission. She worked for GJ as one of their most elite agents. Working with her while being the most educational mission that we were ever on was anything but fun. She was so worried about us being injured that she hardly allowed us to do anything at all. She also scolded us thoroughly for the reason that we went on the mission; we had hacked a GJ satellite for some stupid reason that escaped me after a few months of doing it.

After that mission, Shin and I considered that we might have to stop hacking things if they were going to force us to work with his mother again. She just wasn’t fun to work with. She acted like we were simpletons; I knew that she was worried about us being in a very dangerous situation, but when we used to go outside, it was a dangerous situation, so we believed that we could handle it.

We did do careless things all of the time, especially on that mission. Auntie Tashawna practically had a heart attack by the time that the whole thing was said and done. She had to take some time off after seeing us in action on a deadly mission. Shin dismissed it as his mother “acting too much like a mother.” As if he wanted her to act any other way.

Uncle Shin thought that it was funny that we stressed his wife out. He kept saying that he could picture her practically pulling her hair out every time we did something off the wall. All Auntie Tashawna could do was say that he needed to take us on a mission and then come back with all of his hair and sanity. He scoffed; obviously, he knew enough about us from training us to know that he would never even consider taking us on a mission.

Uncle Shin actually took exception to taking us outside, so anywhere that might be seriously dangerous was more than likely out of the question. He claimed that we disappeared too easily and he disliked that. He was the one that taught us how to do it. He just would have preferred that we told him that we were leaving before we left. He said sometimes we left him talking to the air because we cut out in the middle of his sentence.

The next GJ mission that we went on, we got stuck with two agents that we didn’t know. I guessed it was because Doctor Director was upset with the fact that we made her top agent take a short and abrupt vacation after working with us. The people that she teamed us up with didn’t like us very much from the start. They looked at us as if we were criminals. Yes, we had done something illegal, if we hadn’t, we certainly wouldn’t have been wasting time with GJ, but no one had gotten hurt. Actually even if someone had gotten hurt, I wouldn’t have cared much at the time. Shin wouldn’t have cared either; if he was in a particularly funny mood, he might’ve envied them.

The team that we were in split into two groups as soon as we touched down in the jungle where the mission was to take place, I was paired up with biggest jackass that I had ever met and I had met plenty. His name was Ken Du and he was unfortunate enough to meet my demons, but it was his own fault. He seemed to be under the impression that he was better than Shin and I were in everyway after reading our files, which we had perused through plenty of times.

The files didn’t paint pictures of us worthy of museum décor. They painted us as psychopaths, sociopaths, possible enemies to the organization sometime in the future. They thought so little of us that Shin’s files failed to mention who his mother was, probably to avoid soiling her reputation. Most of GJ believed whatever the files said about us too, but we could care less.

Ken and I were moving through one side of the grounds while Shin and his partner had the other side. We were being careful of traps and alarms. That rat-faced bastard that I was paired with had the nerve to push me into a tripwire; it was out of the blue, almost like he wanted me to believe that it was an accident, but with the way that he had been acting through out the whole thing, I knew it was intentional.

I was nearly blown to tiny blonde bits. I had to two things working on my side, extremely fast reflexes and an inventive mind that had come up with a force-field prototype that covered the human body. It worked just enough to save my life and leave me with enough strength to decide fuck the mission.

No one tried to kill Trin Possible and didn’t pay for it immediately, if not sooner. Ken Du certainly would learn to regret his actions as my demons came out to play. I gave into them and my leash was thousands of miles away. He certainly would regret his foolish actions.


I wasn’t having better luck with my partner. It was funny because I thought the mission with my mother would be the most annoying thing that I had ever done. I mean, the woman acted like I didn’t have a brain in my head; I understand we could’ve almost died and everything, but she worried way too much. It wasn’t that serious in my opinion.

My partner was infinitely worse than that mission with my mother. I didn’t know if it was a cruel joke setting me up with that bitch, but I wasn’t laughing. Her name was something or other Hinata. I wasn’t paying much attention when she was introduced to us and I stopped paying her any mind after she made it known that she was just an openly racist whore. She was just about the only member of GJ it seemed aside from Doctor Director who knew who my parents were.

The little cunt made many not at all true remarks about my mother and her “race.” She then proceeded to talk about my father. I didn’t know why she knew the things about my father that she did, but I guessed it was because she was a noisy bitch that certainly overstepped her boundaries.

She seemed to be under the impression that I wouldn’t hit a woman; little did she know that I had spent my life hitting a far more superior and less irksome woman, not to mention I actually liked the female I tended to hit. I hated that prejudice bitch after spending five seconds with her and listening to the garbage that was coming from her mouth. I decked her right in the mouth; I just needed her to shut up. The thing that got me was that I got in trouble for that shit. Oh, yeah, just punish me for putting that uppity cunt in her place; that would always be fair.

Okay, maybe it was just a little wrong of me to punch the shit out of that silly bitch. I should’ve had Trin do it, but of course, the harpy was busy hospitalizing a GJ top agent. She was always topping me! I had hit an agent, sure I knocked a tooth out, but she had sent a guy to the hospital. She just had to one-up me. I suppose a normal human being wouldn’t be upset over such a matter. Well, fuck normal.

We failed at the mission to say the least and were threatened with jail time for a while because of our actions toward those agents. We were allowed to explain ourselves for why we had done what we did, but we didn’t really care to explain ourselves. Our actions were our business until some parents showed up, which they did. Damn our parents and their desire to be responsible and raise slightly adjusted offspring.

When I learned why Trin had hospitalized Ken Du, I was tempted to go to the hospital and finish the job; she had almost killed the moron. She had broken both his legs in several places, ruining muscles and nerves in both limbs; the doctors weren’t too sure if he would ever walk again. The monkey agent actually tried to make it seem like Trin had gone bananas on him for no reason; he wasn’t special enough to garner a beating of that magnitude for no reason and even Doctor Director seemed to believe that. But, that didn’t mean people still weren’t pissed at Trin for putting bastard were he belonged.

Once the issue of jail time was dismissed, it seemed that we were more at risk in jail of becoming just what they didn’t want than we were outside in the world. They also figured that we would just escape if we didn’t go completely nuts. Other preparations were made to act as a punishment.

After all, we still had to pay back that first mission and make up for what we had done to those agents. My mother came up with a proper punishment; she made us clerks at the Global Justice headquarters for the summer. We knew then that we had done something wrong. Betrayed by my own mother! It was unreal.

Doctor Director seemed to like the idea enough. It gave us something to do while making sure we were as miserable as possible. We couldn’t even fake incompetence to get out of things because my mother or Doctor Director supervised us. I wanted to break down and cry; I thought it might gain me some sympathy from my mommy. I decided against it because there was always the chance that she would just tell me to suck it up and stop doing crazy things if I couldn’t take the punishment.

It was pure torture to be clerks for a whole summer. Thankfully, my mother never stuck her nose in our business like that again; she might have had us mopping the floors if we had done something worse. She had bigger fish to fry, though.

The couple of other times that we ran into problems from messing around with things that belonged to Global Justice got us put on a couple of other missions with teammates to baby-sit us. It seemed that we just couldn’t play well with others; we couldn’t make it through a mission with those so-called agents.

Everyone was so self-important in GJ. They treated us as if we were murderers, or children, or worse yet, animals. We weren’t any of those things and if they just gave us a shot…well, I would’ve went home and let Trin handle all of the heavy work. Eventually someone came up with the brilliant plan of letting us go out on our own; I doubt that idea was received well.


I think that the notion of letting us go off on a mission sans an escort started out as a joke. It received serious thought as they started placing bets on imaginary scenarios of how we would do on a mission on our own. Once they were fed up with the playing make-believe, they decided to let us go out on our own to see what would happen and they placed bets.

Some people bet that we would be killed outright about five minutes into the mission. Others made more logical bets that we would just go home as soon as no one was looking; it had been a tempting idea, especially since we were had better things to do with our time than act as dogs for the organization. Still others bet that we wouldn’t make it far before we just gave up and left. There were plenty of things going on, none of them saying that we would complete the mission; no one had faith in us trying very hard to complete the stupid mission.

Not to be excluded when money was involved, I bet on us completing the mission in record time. It seemed to be an offer that no one could refuse and I bet my lifesavings on it, which was quite a bit already because Shin and I had started making money by selling top of the line security software that we had developed after hacking the GJ computer for the first time. Quite a few people took the bet; Shin eagerly leaped in after he noticed that GJ was crawling with suckers. A fool and his money are soon parted; it was no lie around that office.

The mission wasn’t too difficult, in our opinions anyway. We had to recover some documents from some obese man by the name of Big Daddy Brotherson. They made it seem much harder than it was when we were briefed on the situation. We sneaked into his office during lunchtime, figuring he would be too busy devouring a moose to take notice of us.

Now, he was having lunch, probably his second of the day. The problem was that he was in his office while having the feast that probably would’ve sustained a small country. Well, we had a plan if that happened.

We dropped into the office, literally. Shin pulled a gun on the whale of a man while I dropped the lone guard that was stationed in the office. As muscular as the man was, I knocked him out without a problem. Shin was enjoying brandishing a firearm, or so the very amused smirk on his face suggested.

“Move and you’re dead. Although, I think it might be possible that you’re at point where the bullets would get stuck,” Shin commented with a smirk. I went to search for the files while he was happy with his gun.

“What’s the meaning of this?” Big Daddy demanded to know. Why did everyone want reasons for why we just popped up? Obviously, we were bored and that would be the meaning of it. Besides, he was being robbed. Why would the thieves, namely us, explain to the man we were robbing, why we were robbing him?

“We lost our Christmas list in your office, thinking you were Santa, but now it’s obvious that you just ate the man’s reindeer. You might’ve ate him too,” Shin remarked. Ah, yes, he always did have a paper thin wit. It would only get worse as he got older.

“You’ll hang for this,” Big Daddy promised us. The fat bastard still hasn’t gotten around to fulfilling that threat; Shin might try to remind him of it sooner or later.

“If not this, then something else,” my evil twin replied and he had a point.

The fat man then tried to move; at least I think he did anyway. He might’ve just been taking a breath, but noticeable motion was involved. Shin pulled the hammer back on his gun; apparently, he took the movement as a threat and not a breath.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Shin warned him.

“Let’s go,” I said. I found the files rather easily; he was a well organized fat man. The files did have jelly stains on them, though.

“Okay,” Shin commented and then he spotted a pack of cigarettes on the desk between him and the fat man. He grabbed one. “Do you mind?” my evil twin asked Big Daddy as if the answer mattered to him and then he took a cigarette before the answer came.

Shin lit the cigarette with his gun; yes, it was actually a lighter fashioned to look like a handgun. We never did carry guns; more out of fear that we might one day shoot each other than anything else. It was always tempting to shoot Shin once he got started because he was out of his tiny mind.

To say the least, we won the bet. It was a nice sum of money; Kim and I blew much of it very quickly. I have never understood why it was, but when Kim and I got near a store and there was money in my pocket, it was like we got sucked in by some gravitational force and compelled to spend. It might be some law of physics. I can’t even recall what we got with that money.

I do know that I treated my mother and Kim to some things. We went to a spa, taking Auntie Tashawna along; she needed to get away from her insane husband and son every now and then. I treated all three of them to some jewelry too.

I believe I bought my brothers some fireworks. They had great fun with that. I brought my father some ties that he never used. He always was a hard man to shop for.


She was always such a spendthrift once we got money. Now, I did buy my mother a few things with the money that we won, but it wasn’t for no good reason like with the harpy. It was a good way to slide by on some things that I would later do and would have gotten yelled at if I hadn’t pretended to be the good son.

My father wasn’t as easy to win over and buy off because if it doesn’t have a blade, he doesn’t give a crap. But, then again, he was more laidback than my mother when it came to me doing stupid things. He liked for me to learn on my own that something was stupid.

In fact, when I was a baby, my father used to let me crawl off of the bed and fall on my face, figuring one day I would learn to not crawl to the end of the bed. He almost let me kill myself when I was a toddler because he was going to let me stick a knife in wall socket. My mother had barked on him for not only letting me almost get electrocuted, but for also watching me play with a knife.

Well, I treated my father to some food because that was always a good way to get to him; that would be where I got it from. I treated my papa to a few meals and with luck, it would save me a scolding or ten later on down the road.

Next time: Meet Trin’s birth mother or “that woman” as she calls her.

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