I have always wondered how many people get the chance to discover that they’re homosexual along with their best friend. I don’t suppose I’d really be in that group, but I do think about it. I’m fairly certain that Trin always knew what she was, even though she liked to pretend otherwise. She has always been alert in a sense as to what is going on in her mind. I will admit that I sometimes miss things that aren’t spelled out right in front of me. She is the abstract one most of the time.
Anyway, it all started in junior high. I think we were about thirteen or something like that. It was around the time when every guy was suddenly proud that his girlfriend had a piece of an ass and a half of a tit. In other words, the girls were curving out and most of the guys were noticing. I say most because I wasn’t noticing; it may have had something to do with the fact that I didn’t pay attention to most people, girls included. I went to school with nimrods, so I didn’t see why I had to pay them any mind.
Every now and then I did come out of my little world and over hear some things that my fellow classmates were going on about, including crap about their girlfriends. To be real, I was a bit surprised to hear some of the things; I didn’t know girls acted like that at first, but then again I only knew two girls who were and still are abnormal at best. The guys talked about groping their girlfriends, or getting their girlfriends to go down on them, or a couple of guys talked about going down on their girls. After a while, I began to get curious because I failed to see the big deal, yet so many people were acting differently.
I wanted to know several things and at the top of my list was why were those losers getting laid and I wasn’t. It wasn’t even that I wanted to get laid at that point; I just wanted to know why they all had girls and things like that because they weren’t cool or smart or good looking in some cases. I was always all three of those.
It didn’t take me long to realize why I wasn’t getting laid. I wasn’t trying to do that and that was because I wasn’t interested in trying. I wondered if it was weird of me to not be interested in girls. I mean, I knew how puberty worked and everything, but I just wasn’t interested in anything new.
I talked to my father about it, asking him if it was strange for me to not be interested in girls or in dating or anything like that. He slapped me in the back of the head and told me that everyone goes at their own rate and I needed to stop worrying about stupid things. I took his word on it because he was smarter than I was when it came to those sorts of things. But, I was still curious about other things.
I was curious as to why guys were so interested in sex. I decided to do some research, even though I’m more into hands-on experimenting and I always have been. I watched some porno movies, but that didn’t give me any answers. I actually got more questions after that. I started wondering if it was as good as the movies and people made it seem. I figured that there was one way to find out; hey, what were best friends for, after all?
I waited until she and I were alone; we were in her room when the time came. Our parents typically left us alone because they trusted us, I’m guessing anyway. They might’ve just trusted Trin. She was a responsible little wench back then; still is now, now that I think about it. They probably believed that she wouldn’t let me do anything if I tried. I didn’t think that at all.
“Hey, Trin,” I said out of the blue. I was watching television. I think the show was about astronomy or something like that.
“Yeah?” she replied. She was lounging on her bed, reading some book. The girl was always reading. She was a serious bookworm.
“Let’s have sex,” I suggested casually; obviously, I wasn’t a romantic. I’ve always made it a point to talk as if everything is just as trivial as the weather; it throws people off and that’s always fun.
“Right now?” she asked as if I had just requested we go practice our kendo. She not only had a way and still does of never seeming shocked no matter how out of the blue something is, but she also makes it a point to sound as bored with it as possible.
“Yeah. We’ll be alone for a while, so it’s cool,” I pointed out.
“I suppose,” she answered.
She was so cool about it. If I wasn’t used to her, I might have been worried. I didn’t even think to turn the television off after she answered. It wasn’t because I was surprised by her answer, but because I wanted to get right to it. I’d finally see what was so great about sex.
I went to her side, kneeling by her. She put her book down and took her glasses off. She looked at me and I must admit that while I wasn’t a romantic, she didn’t know a thing about looking sexy at the time. I didn’t care about that, which probably should have been a clue right there.
I leaned in and kissed her on her exceptionally soft lips. She and I shared our first kiss at that moment; it was nice to have that moment together. It was also a very good kiss. She seemed to be a natural at kissing.
I know he was stuck on the fact that I was a good kisser. I don’t know where the skill came from since he was the first person that I kissed. I merely chalk it up to the fact that I’m perfect and always have been. It was the only way that I can explain it.
Shin was surprisingly delicious. His mouth was sweet, much like a pastry. I wouldn’t have minded kissing him more often just for his taste. The feel of his body was good too, even at such a young age. He was a muscular boy from the time that we started seriously studying martial arts. His body was tight, firm, and I couldn’t help wanting to touch him it seemed. My hands worked on their own, going in the inside of his shirt to feel his cut abdomen.
Shin didn’t seem to want to be outdone, so he began unbuttoning my shirt. Once it was open, he started touching my stomach, which was flat, but I lacked any cuts to have abs. He eventually worked my shirt off while continuing to kiss me and he had no problem with unclenching my bra. I had never been bare in front of anyone before Shin, but then again I hadn’t allowed anyone to touch me as he was either. I disliked touching, even in an innocent manner, but I made some exceptions obviously.
I didn’t hide from him, but he managed to surprise me by whispering how beautiful I was. No boy had ever said such a thing to me and, to make matters worse, I knew Shin meant them. I damn near cried, especially when he said it again while looking me dead in the eye. I could only say it back to him as he lifted off his shirt; he may not know it, but I saw him blushing. Shin was and will always be beautiful, despite some of things that he did and does.
Shin eventually pulled away from my mouth and kissed his way down my neck to my breasts; I had no idea where he picked up the move from. For a long moment, he just stared at my pale, nude torso. He later told me that he stared because he was puzzled for two reasons; the first was that he didn’t understand why guys weren’t talking about my breasts size when I was easily bigger than most of the other girls in our school and the second reason was that he didn’t understand why he wasn’t turned on yet. I think we all know the answer to both of those reasons.
Shin wasn’t shy about his next move in the slightest; neither of us was really shy about what was going on. I credit his next move to watching too many porno movies. He latched onto my breast with his mouth and suckled it like it was a lollipop. He was extremely good at that and it felt extraordinary. He managed to give me a hickey on my breast. I suppose that was safer than having one on my neck where the world could see the mark, so I didn’t mind.
I started reaching for his pants and unfastened them with steady fingers. I pulled them down just enough to see that he had on boxers with yellow ducks on them; he was never one for appealing undergarments. He stepped out of his pants and undid my skirt, removing it quickly. We didn’t remove any other clothes after that, whether it was because we just didn’t want to stop what we were doing or subconsciously realized that we were kidding ourselves with what we were doing, I don’t know which it was. Eventually we stopped kissing and caressing because neither of us was aroused enough to continue.
Shin sat on the bed, disappointment written all across his face. I sat up next to him, pressing my bare breasts against his back, having quickly forgotten our state of undress. I rested my head on his shoulder.
“What’s the matter?” I asked. I never like seeing him down and out, especially over something silly.
“I really wanted to have sex,” he answered with his usual blunt honesty.
“There’s still time to try,” I pointed out. We had only wasted fifteen minutes. We were supposed to have the house to ourselves for the whole afternoon, so we had nothing but time on our hands.
“Nah, there’s obviously wrong with me if even the thought of having sex with you isn’t getting me up,” he said. See, blunt honesty, like a bat.
I suppose Shin had a point. He was clearly not aroused by me and the feeling was mutual; we weren’t even offended by that evident point. I wouldn’t have minded giving Shin my virginity. I wouldn’t have minded by friends with privileges with him, if only we weren’t so completely homosexual.
“It’s okay,” I told him and I kissed his neck, not to be romantic, but because he was and still is ticklish there. He giggled and pushed me away from him.
“Don’t touch my neck!” he complained while making his getaway, retreating to the other side of the room.
I only made a face at him and then I began getting dressed. He followed my lead and that was the end of our little tryst. We never did try that again. It didn’t bother us much; we went back to doing what we were doing before the suggestion and later on in life we kept bringing it up for a good laugh.
It didn’t take me long to consider that I might be a homosexual after my failed attempt to bed the very beautiful Trin. While I might not have been attracted to her, I knew that she was what a female was supposed to look like. She was curvy in all the right places and her face was always pretty. So, I knew if I couldn’t do anything with her, then I had to sit down and figure out why that was.
Trin was the first person that I told that I might be a homosexual and she didn’t seem impressed with my confession; she didn’t even look up from that accursed book that she was reading. She merely listened to me go on and then she said “that’s funny. I am too.” Her tone was more mundane than mine could ever hope to be, but she said it just as casually as I say everything else.
We took each other’s confessions with our usual composure and just accepted them. I think it was because we were both homosexuals, which sort of took the edge off of it. When I suggested that we tell our parents, the edge was back with a vengeance.
Trin looked at me with eyes that dared me to say such a thing to her parents and she’d have probably lopped off my limbs before throwing me off of a high bridge. So, I kept her parents out of it and amended my suggestion by saying maybe I should tell my parents. Her look changed only slightly, but I paid her no mind. I didn’t think much of it because my parents were always so unorthodox.
Look, my parents were always different. They are married to each other first of all; a Japanese man and a mulatto woman as husband and wife. Colors obviously mean nothing to them, so why should sexuality? Then there was the fact that my mother had me on a bet. She lost a bet to my father and that was the reason that I was born. They just aren’t normal people and they never were. So, I truly believed that it would be all right for me to tell them that I was gay. Trin thought I was an idiot, which was clear from the look on her face, but she decided to say it out loud too; maybe she was right.
When I first told them, my parents didn’t believe me. They dismissed it and said that I was just a kid that watched too much television, so they thought I was mixed up. When I wouldn’t let it go, it got on their nerves. They actually got angry with me, which was new to me. My mother eventually hollered at me, I’m talking about full, all-out shouting, that I was going to marry Trin when I got older and she was going to have my child. I told Trin what my mother said and she merely looked at me as if she was calling me a moron; hey, I didn’t say it. It was my mother and she held to that belief for a long time.
I suppose I can see how my mother would think that. Trin was the only person that I ever thought to associate with, so I suppose if we were straight, we might have just decided to get married. I mean, I know I wouldn’t have minded being friends and having sex with her, so I don’t see why we wouldn’t have been able to get married; you know, aside for the fact that she was a lesbian and I was gay.
My father literally fought me on the issue after I got on his nerves with it. He threw a katana at me and told me that I could whatever I wanted, a homosexual included, if I beat him in a for real fight, with actual swords! I’ll leave the details to everyone’s imagination on how it went, but I’ll admit that about thirty seconds into the match, I was already on the floor and close to crying for my mommy. I was only thirteen for crying out loud and that madman was a master swordsman, as well as a master at who knew how many other martial arts, and he knew way too many ways to kill me. He then told me that my sexuality wasn’t up to debate anymore and I needed to go apologize to my mother for even saying such a thing. I refused and told him as much.
After my papa thoroughly kicked my ass, I decided to “runaway.” I went to Trin’s house, so it wasn’t much running away. A blind monkey could’ve found me there, but I didn’t have any other place to go. I talked Trin into leaving with me for a little while, but she didn’t agree to running away with me, even though I whined quite a bit to try and change her mind.
We went to hang out at our favorite place, which was under a bridge; it was quiet and no one would bother us there because most of the nitwits in town thought that the whole area was haunted. Our parents found us there about ten minutes after our curfew passed; once again, not the best place to run away to. I didn’t know what to do and Trin didn’t have any answers for me.
I noticed the messy predicament that my moronic best friend placed himself in. I don’t think he realized just how big it was for parents to hear that their son is gay, even parents as unconventional and eccentric as his. He was depressed for a very long time with the way things were going and I didn’t like seeing him like that. Shin was never the down and out one in our duo; that was my job and I’ll be damned if he was taking my job. He was the outlandish one, the goofy one, the smiling one. He didn’t smile anymore and I thoroughly disliked that fact.
I went to speak to his mother, making sure not to tell him. I had to do something even if it was overstepping my bounds in more ways than one. I didn’t want to hurt his pride as a man and let him know that I went to speak with his mother, so it was our little secret.
I was extremely humble when I went to speak with his mother, who I called my aunt by that time. My aunt Tashawna will always deserve every piece of respect that I give that woman and more. She is an amazing woman. I went to her because I believed that it would be easier to talk to her rather than Uncle Shin; yes, Shin stole his father’s name just about the moment that he could speak according to his parents.
I told Aunt Tashawna just how badly Shin was being affected by their rejecting what he knew for a fact by now he was. By the time I was done, Aunt Tashawna looked ready to cry when she admitted that she noticed how he had been behaving, much like a ghost. But, she just couldn’t believe her son, who was so much like his father, wasn’t heterosexual. She said that she was touched by my concern, but she still refused to believe that he wasn’t straight.
Knowing that she cared about Shin’s wellbeing, I merely requested that she humor him at the least, just to lift his spirits. Just to do something that would make him smile again. I know she wanted him to be happy just like I wanted, so I didn’t think that it was a horrible notion and I believed that she would consider it at the very least.
Shin has a great mother. While she might not have agreed with him, she did want to return to his usual self. She said that he and I got enough crap when we went outside into the world with the ignorant masses, so we didn’t need to get it when we came into our homes because inside was supposed to be our sanctuaries. So, she was going to try her best to not only humor him, but accept him if he truly was a homosexual. While she remained confident for a long time that I would have his baby, she told her son to be who he thought he was if that was how he was comfortable. He better never think that he is the father of any baby coming from me, that’s all I know.
As far as things went with Uncle Shin, I knew better than to talk with him about it. I left that up to Aunt Tashawna and she handled it in a way that made Uncle Shin treat Shin the same way as he did before he confessed to being gay. Eventually, they were all right with his sexual orientation for real, but it started out with them pretending that they were okay with it. It was nice to see that they cared so much for Shin’s happiness and that they could be reasoned with.
Next time: some high school bashing and a bit of learning.