Chapter 3

Cold Turkey


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TITLE: Cold Turkey

AUTHOR: StarvingLunatic

DISCLAIMER: Still not owning these characters or the song Addiction. Should I still be apologizing for writing this?

SUMMARY: Kim and Shego find themselves addicted and now they're looking to quit each other.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Romance, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

NOTE: I feel I should warn people about the humor in this story, apparently, some people find it funny.

Words: 2557

Everything they told me not is exactly what I would
Man, I tried to stop. Man, I tried the best I could, but
…” Kanye West, Addiction.


Kim thought that she had her bet with Shego in the bag. She had more than enough hobbies to keep her busy and to prevent her from thinking about a certain raven-haired fighter. Plus, she was not the one sneaking into rooms well after midnight and planting kisses on sleeping bodies.

The hero could not help wondering how she even got into the mess that she was in. Well, the fighting was enough to recall and make sense of because that pretty much came from the day that they had met. Something inside of her had been sparked and she needed to conquer the thief in a way she never thought about to prove that she was the better martial artist. She would be better than Shego even if it killed her, she always told herself; she could practically hear Ron blaming it all on her “Kim-ness.”

Shego decided that she would work on refining her fighting style to take up time while she had the silly little bet going on with Kim. She went through her moves and discovered any redundancies in her movement while she was at home. She began polishing her moves while hoping that Drakken gave her something to do without having to listen to him rant about it beforehand, but he seemed to be stuck on trying to figure out how his prized little pop gun worked.

She listened halfheartedly while her employer vented his anger about how the weapon did not work; she really did not have anything better to do aside for what she had been doing before that. It took him two days to figure out that the blasted gun needed special batteries, which he was willing to bet were back at that lab where they stole the gun from in the first place. She was thankful for something to do; she had been ready to claw her own eyes out while she was trapped at his lair.


Kim was sitting in her English class, taking a test. Her right leg was bouncing at a nice speed and she was biting on the cap of her pen, showing that she was anxious. She was not nervous about the test or anything; in fact, she had already breezed through the essay while everyone else was still writing. She needed to do something and then suddenly she heard that lovely, familiar beeping sound; she wanted to thank any and everything possible for Wade and whatever mission that he had, no matter how trivial it was.

“Stich me, Wade,” Kim answered the Kimmunicator.

“Robbery in progress—” the computer genius tried to inform her.

“I’m so there,” the redhead said before he even had a chance to finish. She just needed to do something before she ended up gnawing her own arm off from the anxiety building in her system.

Wade filled Kim in on the specifics as she handed in her test and left class. She was on her way and she arrived at the lab that she was just at a few days ago in record time yet again. She noticed Shego taking something from a drawer; her back was to Kim. The thief turned around hardly a second after the redhead entered the room, though.

“Hey, Princess,” Shego smirked and she crouched down into her fighting stance.

“Are you giving up?” Kim inquired.

“Giving up?” Shego echoed in a puzzled tone. How did it imply that she was giving up if she was clearly ready to throw down?

“If you want to fight, you forfeit our little deal,” the redhead pointed out.

“Are you serious?” the older female asked in an incredulous tone. What was the point in stealing if they were not going to fight? Better question, how was Kim going to do what she came to do if they did not fight? Shego had to see how the whole thing was going to go.

“Hey, our two pleasures, fighting is definitely on that list.”

Shego rolled her eyes. “Fine, then how in hell do we settle this? A game of checkers perhaps?” she remarked in an impatient voice while waving around a box that was about the size of a toaster.

Kim could see the pale woman’s point; how were they supposed to accomplish anything if they could not fight? She ignored her muscles desire to ran at the thief and attack her while she tried to think of some other way for them to solve if the box left the building or not. Her biceps jumped under her skin and her fingers twitched while her legs wanted nothing more than to get into her fighting stance to take the box by force. She remained in control of herself, but she finally understood why she had been so unnerved for the past few days, she missed Shego.

The redhead missed going against Shego and that made her apprehensive for the past couple of days, which let her know that she was really addicted to the older woman because it was really just the knowledge that they were not going to be doing anything that had been bothering her initially. It felt like she was starving and Shego was her food, her nourishment. The only problem was that she believed Shego was more like a rotten meal to her rather than healthy sustenance. Shego was no good for her, she reminded herself; carving something so badly just had to be unhealthy. Wanting something all the time and so desperately just was not right, she knew that as a fact.

Shego had no idea that their idiotic and almost childish wager would count when they were supposed to be working. She could see why Kim would do such a thing, though. They typically fought when they were working anyway; not to mention, the redhead was probably trying to get revenge for her mixing their fun the other day. But, that was not fair and her Kimmie was supposed to be all about being fair.

Shego really wanted to fight. She had not had a good round since the last time that she saw Kim and her body and mind disliked the trend, especially since she was now aware that she was not going to get anything from Kim. It just did not feel right not being able to go against the cheerleader, even if it had only been three days.

She had tried to give Drakken’s henchmen a go, but they were just pathetic. The ones that wanted to fight, they all seemed to be former boxers, or wrestlers, or athletes of some kind; there were not many of them either. The rest of Drakken’s henchmen went on some level that was buried deep below worthless. She had beaten a dozen volunteers that morning without really breaking a sweat. She thought that she might get rusty if she did not have a worthwhile fight soon.

“So, Pumpkin, since you’re so full of ideas, how do we settle who wins this one?” Shego inquired.

“Rock, paper, scissors?” Kim offered weakly.

Shego groaned. “Ah, fine. Whatever.”

“Rock, paper, scissors says shoot,” they both dismally did the chant and then throw out their hands. Kim laid her hand out flat as paper while Shego held out her two fingers for scissors.

“Damn it,” Kim muttered.

“Oh, goody, I win,” Shego deadpanned. Talk about a cheap, heartless, and worthless victory. “Are you sure you don’t want to just go at it for a bit? We could arm wrestle,” she suggested.

“Just go. You won,” Kim replied. Of course she wanted to really go at it! Every nerve in her body was screaming at her to go and defeat her rival. She desired nothing more than to throw down with Shego because no other activity compared to that one. No, fighting with Shego was not even an activity; it was an art. It was passion. It was definitely a drug; Shego was a drug.

Shego smiled, as if she read the hero’s mind. She had the same thought the day after Kim had gone on about they were addicted to each other. She would not admit to such a thing, ever, but Kim had because she was the one that came up with the whole notion of them being addicts. Shego guessed that meant she was a drug. She actually liked that idea because it gave her power over Kim and that was all either of them really wanted. One wanted to conquer the other and that was it; she thought that Kim looked too deep into the issue.

“Later, Princess,” Shego bid Kim farewell.

Okay, they bother conceded; their little wager might be a bit harder than either had anticipated. The only thing that prevented them from attacking each other was the thought of losing the bet. Kim would be damned if she was going to lose to Shego over something that seemed so simple. On the other end, Shego figured that hell would freeze over and the devil would make snow angels before she lost to the redhead.

Shego delivered the battery for the gun to Doctor Drakken, who now had a list of things that he wished for Shego to go and acquire for him. The super-powered woman did not object or even say anything snippy because she really needed things to occupy her time or she was sure that she would go out of her freaking mind. She wished that he had a Christmas list of things that he wanted because she would do just about anything now that she knew how deep the bet was.

Kim returned to school in time for her last class. She had several after-school projects lined up to keep her busy without thinking about a certain female that could plasma charge her hands. She had cheerleading practice, followed by a tutoring session, and then she helped clean up one of the chemistry labs. She hoped that Wade called with some non-related Shego news soon.


“I’m going out of my mind,” Kim groaned while contemplating banging her head against her locker to relieve some of the pent up frustration that was building in her body. She felt like she was going through withdrawal. She wanted to tear her hair out, climb the walls, kick holes in the doors, or just anything to get her entire being to stop craving to go against Shego. Wanting something that she knew that she was not going to get was driving her out of her mind already.

“K.P,” Ron greeted his best friend as he strolled up to her locker.

“Hey, Ron,” she replied in a low tone.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” he asked with concern in his voice. He had never seen his best bud look so down before. She actually appeared stressed out and he could not recall the last time that she looked that way; she actually looked worse at the moment than she did that time the Bebes took Bonnie as queen.

“Nothing,” she answered. It was not like she could just tell Ron that her body was betraying her by desiring her rival.

“You know, I bet you’d feel better if you went home,” he suggested. After all, when he had an excuse to leave school, he took it, especially now that he was a senior. A senior practically translated into a graduate to him.

“I’m all right,” she tried to assure him.

“You sure? You don’t look all right. You look worn out. You know you always do try to do a lot. Maybe you need to slow down a little bit and get like the required ten hours of sleep that human body needs,” he advised her.

“I don’t think the human body needs ten hours,” she commented.

“Yeah? I bet it’s more like twelve. I always thought twelve was better,” he muttered. “Anyway, the point is, you need rest or just to relax. You should goof off or something,” he said.

“I’m fine,” she insisted.

“Okay, K.P. Whatever you say,” Ron replied and then Wade appeared on the computer screen that was in her locker.

“Hey, guys,” Wade greeted the pair.

“What’s up, Wade?” Kim inquired.

“Another robbery,” he replied.

Kim groaned; she was not about to go after Shego again. She had gone twice yesterday and her body just kept hollering at her to attack the older woman before the opportunity was lost. Instead, they used “rock, paper, scissors” once and then they actually thumb wrestled the other time to see who the victor would be. Shego walked off with an electronic amplifier thanks to the thumb war while Kim prevented her from taking the blue print for some large laser, but the victories did not matter to either female. Kim did not want to go through seeing Shego again, win or lose.

The way that Kim felt at the moment, she was certain that if she saw anyone that she even thought was Shego, she would go to fight the person without even confirming it was the thief. She hoped that she would fight the person anyway. She did not even want to think about the other thing that she might do to someone that she thought looked like Shego.

“Kim, are you all right?” Wade asked because the hero had a look in her eyes that he had never seen before, the look of reluctance.

“Wade…was it Shego?” Kim inquired.

“Well, they described the thief as a highly sarcastic, anger prone woman that could throw green fire from her hands. There is a chance that someone else out there is just like Shego. Does Shego have a sister?” he answered, being more sarcastic than anything else.

“There are two Shegos?” Ron yelled incredulously.

“No, Ron. Wade, I’ll pass on this one,” the redhead decided.

“You’ll what?” both boys asked simultaneously; they also sounded equally shocked by the announcement.

“I’ll pass,” Kim repeated in a dismissive tone and then she walked off without bothering to explain why she would not take the mission.

“She must be sick or something. I mean, she didn’t look so good,” Ron commented because he could not think of another reason why Kim would not take the mission. After all, it was Shego. He knew that she liked going against Shego; he did not know the reason why, but he knew that she liked it.

“Maybe…” Wade concurred in an unsure manner. He wondered if there was something going on that he actually did not know about.

Shego was glad that Kim did not come after her. She was sure that she would not be able to take another round of “rock, paper, scissors” or another thumb war. In fact, if she saw Kim again, she was rather certain that she was going to just tackle the redhead. She had not gone beyond the tackle in her head because she was not sure what she would do if she had the hero pressed against the floor underneath her. She did not even want to think about that.

Next time: they keep on trying to quit each other while still trying to do their jobs. Can they do it?

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