Cognitive Dissonance

Chapter 12

Greenery-Yallery, Grosvenor Gallery

King in Yellow

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TITLE: Greenery-Yallery, Grosvenor Gallery

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

SUMMARY: Sequel to Best Enemies.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 2932

Mote = Title came from the Patience sequence.

Parts of last chapter and much of this chapter ended up on the cutting room floor. They became so disjointed and rambling they had to be put out of your misery. And, unfortunately much of it was Kim & Shego -- what is what KiGo is supposed to be about. Bits had included:

  • The start of second semester at Middleton U.
  • Bonnie taking the gang out for karaoke night at Nathan's.
  • Kim tries to convince Bonnie she should be allowed to borrow some of the new Club Banana outfits Bonnie earned by coaching Kim.
  • Kim and Shego's first Valentine's Day together. What do you buy for the woman who steals everything? And should they be upset when Adrena Lynn attempts to out the happy couple?
  • The 20th (read 19th) anniversary of the Drs. Possible.
  • The burial of Rufus. The marker reads, “He saved the world a lot.”
  • A production of Patience by the Middleton Savoyards. Bonnie and Shego land decent parts -- although Bonnie fails to get the title role. Kim swings a hammer on stage crew. When tragedy strikes, in the form of a cold going around, Kim saves the day by running lights then heroically steps in as one of the twenty love-sick maidens.
    “Just promise us you won't sing.”
    “Shego! I'm not that bad.”
  • Kim spends the occasional night at the lair. “NOT THAT SWITCH!”
    “This doesn't seem like much of a death trap.”
    Shego sighed, “It's not. It's an inconvenience trap.”
    “So, how do we get out?”
    “We wait for the person in the other room to throw the release switch.”
    “Uh, Shego? There isn't anyone in the other room.”
    “Well, duh, Princess.”
  • And the consumption of far too much coffee.

Shego's quest for Drakken cut into her Kim time, but her guilt drove her on. She actually set up a cot in the Load basement so she could crash after long sessions of looking for evidence.

Wade managed to locate the headquarters of Aviarius and Shego made a fast trip to Go City. The journey disappointed her, too many memories of family and no evidence for Drakken being held prisoner. On the positive side, however, Shego smiled as she thought about the next time Aviarius fired a talon gun at her brother and wondered which of the two would be more surprised.

Shego, Kim, and Ron did a fast reconnaissance through Professor Dementor's castle without finding any trace of the Doctor. Shego couldn't figure out how Ron managed to lose his pants. Kim assured her it happened a lot, but learning Ron regularly lost his pants when Kim was around didn't make Shego feel any better. At least he wore boxers instead of briefs.

Wade couldn't locate Monkey Fist, but Monty was better at laying low than any other villain Kim faced.

“I'm telling you, Wade,” Shego said as she rested her eyes, “I'm convinced it is either the Bebes or WEE who want Drakken for his technical abilities.”

“Don't limit your thinking, it could be some evil start-up that needs the blue guy.”

“Maybe, but I don't know if an evil start-up could locate Drakken and get through the defenses of the lair.”

“Kim always gets in your lairs easily.”

“Yeah, and she has a lot more resources going for her.”

“I'll take that as a compliment.”

Shego's constant demands for web searches to find Drakken made her so annoying that Wade finally broke down and installed a terminal for her and taught her how to use it. Her skills as a thief lent themselves well to hacking, and with some of the software programs Wade had developed ("Strictly for gathering evidence of crimes!”) she was soon expanding the sites she could investigate.

Shego felt like someone tied a knot in her stomach when she discovered rumors that Global Justice had the next version of the Cage ready for her next capture. Unfortunately there were no schematics posted on the web -- she had no way of knowing what she was going to face.

Shego repaid Wade's hospitality by putting him on a diet and exercise program. Wade was less than pleased, but it delighted his momma, who moved Shego from the basement into a guest room. “Stay as long as you want, dear.”

In the first month Wade lost fifteen pounds… twenty pounds of fat actually, but he'd picked up five pounds of muscle in the process.

“You're never going to be tall and thin, but you're going to look like a football player when I'm done with you.”

“I'm not sure it's worth it.”

“Oh, it will be worth it. And when you get that battery you designed for the Kimmunicator worked out to where it can be mass produced for a reasonable cost you are going to be a multi-millionaire. Good looking guy, rich, you can have any girl you want.”

“No, not the one girl I want.”

“Well, okay, not her. Tell you what -- you turn into a beefy hunk with millions of dollars and you can have me -- then you get Kim by default.”

“I really don't want to be teased about that.”

“Sorry, Wade.”

Several days later Kim used her Kimmunicator to call for assistance, “Hey, Wade, I need… Okay, where's Wade?”

“Sorry Miss Possible, Mr Load is currently enduring severe physical torture at the hands of our highly trained and dedicated staff of professionals. Can I help you?”

“Cut it out, Shego. Where is he and what are you doing there?”

“I've got him on an elliptical trainer -- he claims it's torture. I'm doing research. What do you need?”

“I was, uh, having trouble with a chemistry problem and wondered--”

“You're cheating, aren't you Kim?”

“I'm not cheating. There is nothing wrong with asking for help in understanding the question. I wasn't going to ask for the answer or anything.”

“Okay, Kim, I'll let you talk to him this time -- just don't make me report you to the theater major.

And Kim wanted to know what was happening with another friend. “I haven't been seeing much of you, Monique.”

“Well, you know… Work and school.”

“A couple times when I called your house your Mom said you've been out with someone. Are you still seeing Will?”

“We're not seeing each other. I'm just trying to help the boy -- you know, he's sort of a charity case. I'm doing some girl a favor.”

“How so?”

“I tell you, chronologically he's only a little older than we are, but psychologically he's a fossil. I asked him to a party and he wore a suit and tie! I don't know if I can ever show my face there again. He opens doors for me, it's embarrassing. And do you want to guess where he has picked for dates?”

“I'm guessing no X-games or professional wrestling.”

“A symphony and the opera.”

“You poor dear.”

“Actually, the opera was better than I thought. It was Aida. The symphony… I tell you GF, I was the best thing happening that night; I was turning heads in my red dress. Will looks good in a tux, but everyone thought he was part of the orchestra.”

“No sparks between the two of you?”

“Kim, I've got no interest in a mixed relationship.”

“That's awfully narrow-minded of you,” Kim teased.

“Seriously, there is no future there. I'm AME and he's Presbyterian.”

Kim still awoke with the occasional dirty sock in her mouth, and twice her sheets were only laundered after Bonnie literally screamed at her, but Kim stayed ahead on class work this semester. She thought she might have a chance for straight A's.

Ron's mother gave Kim and Shego each a hug as they arrived for the Seder. There were probably almost thirty people there -- Stoppable relatives, Jewish friends from the synagogue, and Shego and the shiksa (who was no stranger to the Stoppable Seders). The two women used hair pins to put the yarmulkes on each other.

“Ron says your grandmother was one of the lost children,” Ron's Dad said.

“That was what Ron says. I'm not sure how much she really thinks about her birth parents -- it's always the people who raised her she talks about as family.”

“Do you know her birth name?”

“I'm sure I've heard it, but I can't remember. Why?”

“You might have relatives you've never even heard of.”

“I don't know if I want to look up any relatives I've never heard of. I don't exactly get along with the family I have.”

“You might want to do it for them -- they might want to know that some part of their family made it out of the war. Is your grandmother still alive?”

“Oh, yes.”

“Then you need to give her a call.”

Shego looked uncomfortable with the idea. “Could I call her for you?” Kim asked.

Part way through the service Ron mom requeted, “Shego, this portion of the Seder is usually given to the youngest person present, but this is your first Seder and I'd like for you to have it. Just read the English version from the Haggadah.”

“Why is it that on all other nights during the year we eat either bread or matzah, but on this night we eat only matzah?

“Why is it that on all other nights we eat all kinds of herbs, but on this night we only eat bitter herbs?

“Why is it that on all other nights we do not dip our herbs even once, but on this night we dip them twice?” and

“Why is it that on all other nights we eat either sitting or reclining, but on this night we eat in a reclining position?”

For those who have attended many Seders there are parts that can seem to drag. Since this was her first Seder Shego found the whole story of redemption fascinating. “Mrs Stoppable, I read something about the Seder before I came, so I'd have some idea what I was doing. But I have to ask you, why is there an orange on your Seder plate? That definitely wasn't on the list of items I read about.”

Everyone around the tables smiled.

“Well, the story goes that years ago a woman asked her Rabbi why women were not called to read from the Torah. The Rabbi told her, ‘A woman belongs on the bema like an orange belongs on a Seder plate.'”

It was almost one in the morning as Shego and Kim left, they had stayed late to talk with Ron and his parents.

“We really should ask Shego to Yom Hashoah services with us.”

“I don't think she's ready for that, Mom.”

“They're for her.”

“Uh, Mrs. Stoppable, what are you talking about?”

“It is a commemoration of your great-grandparents, and the millions of others who didn't survive the war.”

Shego appeared thoughtful as she drove Kim back to the lair for the night. The Seder had given her a lot to think about.

Three days later Shego sat staring at the computer monitor, “Damn, damn, damn, damn!” It didn't tell her much, but she was convinced it was her first hard evidence related to Drakken since he disappeared. Yet she didn't like what she was seeing. Stock prices had gone up for a small company that manufactured bio-electrical parts for prosthetic devices. They were experiencing record sales, but Shego didn't see any large sales to the defense department -- this had nothing to do with the wars going on in Iraq and Afghanistan. She recognized them as a major component in Drakken's neuro-compliance chips -- mind control. Chills went down her spine as looked at the sales figures, “I really fucking hate fucking mind control.” There were enough components being manufactured for hundreds, maybe thousands of mind chips.

She took a deep breath. Just maybe some prosthetic company was using the bio-electrical chips for what they were intended. Of course, if that were true it should be easy to verify where they were sold. The sales invoices listed the buyer as ‘An Arm and a Leg, Inc.’ which sounded promising. Except that she could find no evidence that a company with that name even existed. The parts had been shipped to a PO box in Delaware. The only thing that told her was that she could count on Delaware not being the state where Drakken was held. “I'm really going to need your help, Wade.”

Kim returned from class one day to find a distraught Bonnie, “What's wrong?”


“Then why is the wastebasket half-filled with tissues and your eyes red?”

“I can't be back in the dorm next year.”

“What happened?”

“Tight budget in the theater department. Everyone who has a home within ten miles of campus is losing the housing stipend on their scholarship. Money's tight with two of us in college and one in grad school, there's no way my folks are going to spring for the dorm. I'm back in Hell house.” She reached for another tissue.

“And I was going to ask if we could be roomies again.”


“Yeah. I mean, we don't really like each other and your OCD gets on my nerves -- but I know your system and now I'll have to figure out someone else's craziness.”

Bonnie gave her a half-hearted smile. “I might have taken you up on the offer. It took me so long to train you properly, and now someone else gets the benefit. Sometimes we almost had fun.”

“I really am sorry. I wish there was something I could do to help. Want to go over the C2K? I'll buy you a cinnamon roll and a cup of chai and give you a shoulder to cry on.”

“Thanks, maybe later. I may have to promote you from worst friend to mediocre friend.”

“Nah, why spoil a bad thing?” Kim replied.

Bonnie tried to smile, but broke down and started crying again. Kim held Bonnie, letting her roommate sob on her shoulder. At the moment Bonnie didn't care who Kim loved, all that mattered was her need for a friend. Kim patted her softly on her back, “I'm sorry, I really am.”

In an office in the modern languages building a voice spoke from the shadows, “You know, if I wanted to, I could really hurt you.”

Dr. Kemal jerked around, startled as the pale woman in the black and green catsuit spoke.

“Take it as a sign of my good faith that you're healthy,” she added.

Mustapha decided to accept her word on that. He doubted if he could have reached a weapon or sent out a distress call without her stopping him anyway.

“Is it about Miss Possible?”

“No. I need to give Global Justice a warning, and thought I'd pass the message through you.”

“I'm just a translator, you know.”

“Don't give me that ‘just a translator’ crap. It was your report that got them on my tail last year, wasn't it? I'm not looking for revenge. I'm just saying they read your reports. Drakken has been kidnapped. I don't know by who. But he's being forced to make mind-control chips. I don't know what the plan is--”

“You really do not know very much, do you?”

“I know Drakken is not behind this. It's not his style. But his neuro-compliance chips are dangerous. Enough components have been purchased or stolen for hundreds. I don't want him blamed. And Global Justice needs to find out who's behind it and save the Doctor.”

“I wish you had more details. But if what you say is correct Global Justice needs to be warned. Saving Drakken is not our highest priority, but it seems that you and I are again on the same side -- as we were for Kim last semester.”

Shego nodded and prepared to leave, then paused, “One question… Is the Cage ready?”

“I am not allowed to say anything to you on such a topic… But, you should find a new coffee shop.”

He assumed she heard. The pale woman had disappeared from his office as silently as she had appeared.

Dr. Kemal waited for the fourth green light on his personal fax to go off. Report encrypted, transmission sent, transmission decoded. Report printed. He even waited a minute to see the fifth light, acknowledgment by a human being who had picked the report up and sent back confirmation it was legible. Shego's report was important.

That was also the opinion of the agent who picked up the fax at Global Justice headquarters and read it. His eyes went slightly out of focus as he finished reading it, then a slight whirring noise filled the room as the shredder destroyed the document. Agent Preston looked around the fax room. He was certain he had heard a document printing, yet none of the fax machines had any pages in their document trays. He must have been imagining things.

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