Cognitive Dissonance

Chapter 1

There's Got to be Morning After

King in Yellow

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TITLE: There's Got to be Morning After

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

SUMMARY: Sequel to Best Enemies.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Note: This continues the story Best Enemies, and begins a few hours after the end of the first story. If you've not read that story you may be confused. The revised version contains many small tweaks, but only one large addition - in chapter 11. “Loving You's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do It,” written by Jim Steinman, performed by Bonnie Tyler and Tod Rundgren. There's Got to Be a Morning After Music and lyric by Joel Hirschhorn and Al Kasha

Words: 3525

There's got to be a morning after
If we can hold on through the night
We have a chance to find the sunshine
Let's keep on lookin’ for the light


“Get up Kimmie, time for breakfast.”

Startled awake, Kim and Shego clung to each other.

“Ah, just a minute Dad, let me get dressed. Can you give me fifteen minutes?”

“Okay, but that is fifteen minutes for the two of you to get dressed -- not for Shego to go out the window.”

The two stared at each other. Shego's mouth moved with a silent, “Oh, shit!”

“Oh, and Shego… Jean is watching Kim's window. She said there was some house rule I never heard of -- Kim isn't allowed to sleep with anyone she won't invite to the breakfast table… Did Kimmie tell you about that?”

Kim giggled, “I forgot to mention that to her.”

Shego stared at the closed door, then back at Kim. “You people are fucking nuts,” she whispered, “You make Monkey Fist look stable.”

“I don't care what you say,” Kim held her tight and gave Shego a big kiss. “Not after last night. Not after you admitted you loved me… Oh, Damn! I do care what you say Shego. You're still under the affects of the neural inhibitor.”

Five minutes later the two headed down to the kitchen, hand-in-hand. Kim wore an over-sized t-shirt, Shego her black and green catsuit. Kim's parents noted, with some relief, that it looked like it had been slept in rather than just being put on.

“I'm not letting her go,” Kim announced.

For two weeks Kim had not eaten or slept well. She still looked exhausted, but she was smiling again. Shego looked equally tired, and perhaps less happy.

“Kim, what happened to your lip?”

Unable to control herself Shego answered. “I hit her.”


“It's okay Mom, really. I deserved it.”

“Dear God, please don't tell me that the two of you are into S&M.”

“No, it's not like that. I did something I shouldn't have. Do you remember that truth ray I got hit with a couple years ago. I turned it on Shego. It's… It's not a nice thing to do to anyone. Do you remember the trouble I got in? I had to do it. I had to make her admit she loved me.”

“So Shego can't lie, at least for awhile?”

“No, I can't Jean.”

“What were you two doing last night?”

Shego had a pained expression on her face as she answered, “We kissed. We talked. Mostly we slept.”

“That's all? And that's the truth?”

“Except for the time I hit her. I was angry.”

“Yes, Mom, remember? You can't tell a lie if you've been hit with the truth ray.”

“This neural inhibitor may make things easier… The four of us need a long talk. Kim, your brothers are over with the Delaney's. This will be adult conversation.”

“Can we have breakfast first, I'm starving.”

“James, start the griddle. I'm glad you've got your appetite back Kim. Shego? He makes very good pancakes.”

“Pancakes have never sounded so good to me.”

Kim giggled.

“What's so funny?”

“Just hearing that when you're under the truth ray. That means the pancakes really do sound good to you. You're going to love them, they're great.”

“Thanks, Kimmie,” her Dad said. “I wonder if there is a market for a home version of that truth ray? I'd really like to know which of the twins put the rocket fuel in the lawnmower last week.”

“Don't joke about it Dr. Possible,” Shego shuddered. “I hate it. It's like someone is playing with my brain.”

Kim embraced her, “I'm sorry.”


“Yes. No. I mean; I'm sorry I hurt you. But it was the only way to make you tell the truth. Would you be here now if I hadn't?”

“No, I wouldn't.”

“See, I had to make you admit you loved me.”

“It's not about love, Kim.”

“Then what is it about?”

“We don't make sense together. Can't you see that? Do I need to shine the truth ray on you to make you admit it?”

“I won't. I love you. You love me. That's all that matters.”

“Ah, girls, we will continue this later. Right now James is taking the first pancakes off the griddle.”

Half an hour later, after the disappearance of a small mountain of pancakes, “Jean, is there any chance we can delay the talk for a little while longer? I could really use a few more hours of sleep.”

“Me too, Mom.”

Jean Possible sighed, she was desperate to know what was going on, but had to admit, “You both look beat. I suppose we can wait. Shego, you could use a shower --”

“It's the plasma power, Jean. When I light up it creates an ozone smell that tends to stick to my clothes and hair.”

“You don't need to explain. What you need to do is borrow something from Kim and shower. James will take your uniform over to the dry cleaners. I'll make up the guest room while you're getting clean.”

“I don't want her in the guest room, I want her with me!”


“Mom! I want to hold her, I want to make sure she doesn't disappear again.”


“I would like to sleep with your daughter,” Shego replied softly. “Sleep is all I plan to do, if that answers your question.”

“Well… Kim, go find Shego something to sleep in. Shego, take a shower. James and I will decide what's happening while you're cleaning up. Oh, Kim, you will come down here and sit with us after you find something for Shego to wear. That shower isn't big enough for two.”

“Here are the ground rules.” Jean explained to her daughter and the freshly scrubbed Shego twenty minutes later. “Kim, you will leave your door open. Your father and I will be in every now and then to check on you.”

James Possible coughed softly, “Uh, I would rather not walk in on them while they are asleep.”

“Fine. Here's Shego's uniform. Take it to the dry-cleaners on Maple. Pay for the one-hour service and wait for it.”

He stared at the green and black outfit. “What should I tell them about it, if they as ask?”

“You tell them that sometimes your wife gets a little kinky, and it's none of their business.”


Before they laid down for more sleep Kim put in a CD. “I've been listening to a lot of Bonnie Tyler the last couple weeks. Well, one song over and over. But she had another one that reminded me of you.”

“What's that?”

“Loving You's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Gotta Do It.” Kim grinned at Shego as she found the track and hit the play button.

Why don't you believe it when you finally found the truth
You've been drinking poison water from the fountain of youth
Why don't you stop tearing up everyone you need the most
You're so busy trying to get even
You never even try to get close

I can't explain it away
It doesn't make any sense
To know what it's like
I guess you gotta go through it
It doesn't matter baby
Loving you's a dirty job
But somebody's gotta do it

They fell asleep before the track ended.

After lunch James cleared the table and Jean took an old flashlight from the catch-all drawer in the kitchen. She set it on the table in front of Shego. “I can't say I'm sorry Kim hit you with the neural inhibitor. But it would be unfair for you to be handicapped by being the only one forced to tell the truth. If you think I might be lying, point the flashlight at me and I promise to tell you the truth as best I can. James?”

“I promise also.”

“Kim, I want you to promise also, honesty with Shego and with us.”

“Okay Mom, I promise.”

Shego pointed the flashlight at Jean, “Okay, trial run… Jean, are you happy with the idea of Kim and me?”

“No. I'm sorry Kim. I've really come to like Shego as a person. Perhaps I can accept the idea you love a woman. But you two are wrong for each other.”

Shego moved the flashlight over to Kim's dad. “Sorry, Kim. I have to agree with Mom. Shego, I like you, but… You know, I'm not sure what my opinion is worth on this. If I had my way I'd have Kim locked up in a convent until she was thirty -- and we're not even Catholic.”

“See Kim, it's three to one. Your parents are with me.”

“No! Do you love me?”

“Yes, I love you.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, I love you.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, I love you.”

“Do you love me?”

“Yes, I love you.”

“Kim! Stop it!” her mother ordered. “You're forcing her to say that! You're upsetting her!”

“I'm forcing her to tell the truth. She says she loves me, and she tries to run away! What's going on Shego? Why can't you just accept and enjoy this?”

“Because you have a future Kim. You've got friends and family who love you. You could have anything you wanted.”

“What if I want you?”

“I've got no future.”

“Yes you do. You could be a hero again!”

“You really think it's that easy? You think I can just say ‘I want to be a good person.’ and all the charges against me will be dropped and everyone will accept me? Can I have a magic wand and fly too? Even if I wanted to change -- and I don't -- I wouldn't have the chance. If they ever figure out how to hold me I'm going to be in prison for a long, long time.”

Jean asked, “You don't want to change? You are happy being a criminal?”

“I don't think of myself as a criminal so much as a mercenary. I get hired to do jobs, I do them. At least some of them are sort of legal.”

“Sort of legal?”

“People don't hire me for jobs the Boy Scouts or Global Justice will do. I won't do assassinations, but they've been offered to me. Still, there isn't much else I haven't done for one country or another. One of the nice things about Drakken is the time he gives me to moonlight. He pays lousy, but if I need a couple days or a month off he doesn't give me any trouble. But frankly, stealing for Drakken is more honest than most of my government contracts. I will run from the room if you ask more questions, I am not supposed to talk about those. I can't change who I am. And I don't want to change Kim. Please, Kim, you really can't see that?”

“But Shego, we have changed. You can't stop change. Are we the same two people who got together last March -- each too scared of the other to put her guard down? Shego, you are asking me to change. You are asking me to go back and become the same person I was. I… I would like you to be a hero again -- but I can't ask you to become the person you were seven years ago, and I'm not asking you to. You told me once how you didn't have to worry about the future -- you lived in the present. Can't we live in the present together?”

“Kim, your parents and I--”

“No, I'm not asking for their opinion! Maybe we don't have a future,” Kim continued softly. “Maybe I know that. But I'm not going to ignore or deny how I feel. I'm not going to regret it. I want all the time with you I can have. Shego, I'm not asking if you love me -- I know the answer is yes. I'm not asking if we have a future -- I know the answer is no. Tell me, this is the only question that matters to me. Do you want me now? If the answer is yes, then we should be together for as long as we have. If the answer is no, I will live with that. Admit that to me in front of my parents.”

Shego's answer, quiet as a whisper, was loud in the silence of the room, “I want to be with you, Kim. I don't want to leave.”

Jean Possible's heart ached as she heard Shego's reply All her hopes and dreams for her daughter seemed to be slipping away. If this was the new reality she would face this new world as best she could. “I'm still Kim's mother, and I demand some sort of say in this. Shego, I want to know something of your sexual history, Kim is a virgin. At least…” Jean took the flashlight and pointed it at Kim.

“Yes, Mom.”

“How many sex partners have you had Shego?”

“I'm not sure…” Kim stared at the woman she loved. “I'm not saying I can't count that high. I just don't remember. There were a couple stupid years when I was first on my own. I'm not sure how many people, men and women, I had sex with -- maybe around a dozen. We didn't always take the precautions we should have. Is that what you're asking Jean?”

“That's exactly what I'm asking.”


“Not now Kim. Shego, if you are serious at all about wanting me to accept this relationship you will be tested for STDs. That is non-negotiable.”

“I've been tested. Perhaps I was just lucky, but I'm healthy. But if it will make you feel better to have me tested again I'm perfectly willing.”

“Thank you.”

Kim stared at Shego, shaken by the revelations. “Kim, I'm sorry…”

“You've had lovers?”

“I've had sex. I was stupid. They were years ago, It's been years since I've been with anyone. They don't have cures for some STDs, the risks aren't worth it. But I don't think I've been in love. I've never felt for anyone what I feel for you. And years from now I don't want you to have to tell someone I was a mistake the way I'm telling you I made mistakes.”

“Second,” Jean continued, “Kim, you have exhibited erratic behavior for the last month or so. The week before your accident you were distracted -- staring off into space constantly. After the accident you were giddy, and for the last two weeks you've been in a deep depression. That behavior doesn't say love to me. It says crush. Love is patient -- but I'm not seeing any of that from you. I want you and Shego to wait--”

Kim grabbed the flashlight and pointed it at her mother “Did you and Dad have sex before marriage?”

“Um… Do you want to take that one James?”

“Kim, this anniversary coming up… It isn't really our twentieth, it will be the nineteenth.”

“That can't be, that's… that's only three months before my nineteenth birthday!”

Her dad arched one eyebrow. “We know. And I don't think you will believe you were a healthy eight pounds, two ounce baby born six months pre-mature.”

“Isn't it a little hypocritical to ask Shego and me to wait when you didn't?”

“Your father and I had known each other for years before we had sex. We had been dating for a long time and knew we were going to be married before we ever got into bed together. We had a timetable for our careers and family -- you just sped up the process. According to the schedule we would be coming up on our eighteenth anniversary, and you should be just two years older than the boys. And they weren't planned as twins - it just seems to run in my family. You and Shego have been enemies for years. You've had six months of putting down your guards and getting to know each other. You've had one night of cuddling -- and Kim you have a cut lip to show it wasn't completely peaceful.

“Six months. If you want me to accept the two of you are in love and not just lust. You're already kissing more than I like. I want the two of you to practice more self-restraint.”

James Possible entered the discussion. “Jean, I think we need to work on a compromise. Shego doesn't want to alienate Kim from us. She is not asking Kim to choose between us. She is trying to work with us. If we are too demanding we can alienate Kim ourselves. I'm worried Kim will rebel at your six months. Here is the compromise I suggest. Kim, Shego, frankly I agree with Jean and would rather you waited six months at least before you ah, became intimate. My suggestion would be for the two of you to wait at least three months -- “ Kim started to smile at him, “but that you don't see each other for the next month.”


“You can have one phone call a day for, say half hour. But your Mom is right, you aren't yourself when Shego is around. I almost don't recognize you. You both need to think about what you are doing. And one month without physically seeing each other may give you a little cooling off period. If your love can't survive then it isn't love.”

“I COULD live with that,” Kim said slowly, “But, I have a question for Shego. Are you going to try and run away from me again? I don't want to wait to be with you, but I will if you will be there for me.”

“I'll be there for you Kim. I still don't think it can work, but I want it to, and I won't run away again. Dr. Possible, would Kim and I really have your blessings with that compromise?”

“We… I can try. It may be easier to accept than bless. Three months gives me a little time to adjust to the idea. How about you, Jean?”

“I don't know. I don't think three months is enough. I want to put two conditions on your father's suggestion. First, Kim, I want you to move out of the house.”


“No, we talked about this earlier. I want you in a dorm on campus. I think having to meet new people will be good for you. New friends will show you whether you are committed to Shego or just crushing from a lonely summer.”

“But dorm assignments were made months ago!”

“And if it doesn't work out I will accept that. But I want you to call Monday and see if anything is available. Even if you do get in the dorm your room is always here, you are always my daughter. But I want you to get out and do more. Meet more people--”

“Maybe some nice boy?”

“Flashlight of truth? Yes. But that was my first condition. My second condition especially applies if you can't get into a dorm room. I really don't know if I can take the idea of my unmarried daughter and anyone -- even if you were a man, Shego -- having sex in her bedroom. Shego, if you spend the night any time during the next year you will sleep in the guest room.”

“So you'll let Shego and me make love in three months -- but not in my own room.”

“I won't budge on that.”

“That's so unfair!”

“That's okay Kim. This is their house, it's only fair for her to make the rules. If she is uncomfortable with you making love in your bedroom you have to respect that and obey. If she prefers we express our deep and sincere love in some roach-infested dive where they rent rooms by the hour to drug addicts and hookers we can find one. You must honor your parent's wishes no matter how poorly they have thought it through.”

Jean glared at Shego, “Okay, the subject is not closed. We can review that in three months.”

Emotionally drained from the conversation Jean Possible tried to find something to think about other than the images that had filled her head since she and James had realized they heard Shego's voice coming from Kim's room that morning. Supper seemed safe, the boys would be back and everyone needed to eat. “What would you like, Shego,” she asked absent-mindedly -- failing to put the question in terms of the menu for dinner.

The neural inhibitor forced Shego to say what she wanted, and it was Kim who was on her mind as she began to say what she wanted -- at length and in graphic detail. James left the room hurriedly. Kim sat and listened, open-mouthed. It was going to be hard to wait three months. Jean wasn't sure whether some of what Shego described was even physically possible -- but these were two very athletic young women.

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