Cognitive Dissonance

Chapter 8

Faster than the Speed of Night

King in Yellow

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TITLE: Faster than the Speed of Night

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

SUMMARY: Sequel to Best Enemies.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Note: Extensive quote from Faster than the Speed of Night, written by Jim Steinman, performed by Bonnie Tyler.

Words: 3370

When they returned from the beach that evening they found the dishes washed and a cold supper laid out.

“When do I see this Itxel, or is she some genie who appears to magically do your bidding?”

“My guess you'll see her plenty tomorrow. A short, square woman who looks almost Asian, but she's pure Maya. I told her I had a guest so I don't want either of you too surprised if you run into her in the kitchen. She'll pretend she doesn't know English, but she'll do what you ask. I'm just glad we had today all to ourselves.”

The two went back out for a moonlit walk along the beach that night, then returned to the bedroom.

“Kim, I've figured out how we can make our millions and retire. We need to turn this morning into a board game.”

“Sunblock: The Board Game?”

Shego stuck her tongue out at Kim. “No, I don't have a name yet… The Erogenous Zone Game? Find that Erogenous Zone? Maybe instead of a board game we make it into something like Twister… Oh, here's another possible name Are We There Yet? We market it as a game for loving couples.”

Kim laughed, “So, I imagine we'd need different editions for couples like us, or two guys, or straight couples.”

“Now you're thinking Kim. If we can just figure out some rules--”

“I think people have been doing it without rules for a long time. They call it foreplay.”

“Oh, Kim, you've got the name for the game. Tells everyone what it's all about. Oh, oh, here's an idea -- Fourplay, f-o-u-r -- a party version.”


“So, if I suggested a family edition--”

Kim lunged for Shego, who deftly avoided her. The redhead then chased Shego around the bedroom twice before tackling Shego and tickling her unmercifully.

They sealed the peace treaty between the warring partners with a series of kisses. “I'm not sure about your game idea,” Kim told Shego, “but I'm willing to do some product testing. Oh, here's some background music for tonight's research.” She took a CD from her bag. Almost as soon as she had found the track and pushed play Shego burst into laughter.

Faster than the speed of night
Faster than the speed of night

Let me show you how to drive me crazy
Let me show you how to make me feel so good
Let me show you how to take me to the edge of the stars and then back again
You've gotta show me how to drive you crazy
You've gotta show me all the things you want to happen to you
We've gotta tell each other everything we always wanted someone to do

I don't want to push you now and I don't want to rush
We're getting closer every second now, but close is not enough
The night'll be our cover and we'll huddle below
We got the music in our fingers and the radio

The noise of the helicopter rudely refused to pass by overhead. Instead it sounded like it was descending right outside the house, disturbing an evening which had promised to be every bit as enjoyable as the one before.

Shego looked disgusted, “Oh, crap, I'll bet it's the Federales.”

“Do you need to escape?”

“No, I'll need to answer the door.”

Shego quickly wrapped a sheet around herself into some sort of toga and left the bedroom. Kim dressed quickly in case a fight or flight situation arose.

When Kim walked into the living room Shego and one man were sitting on the couch, talking. Three other men were spread around the room as a defensive perimeter. They all had a military bearing, but none were in uniform -- Kim guessed some sort of government agency. The man on the couch smiled when he saw Kim, then turned to Shego, “Sorry if I have disturbed anything,” he said with a smirk.

“You have,” she assured him. “Kim, it appears I have a little business in Mexico City before dawn. Do you want to come with us?” The man on the couch started to object, “No, Colonel, she understands security and keeping her mouth shut. Kim, throw our toilet kits together in your backpack and some extra clothes. I'm getting on my uniform -- we're out of here in five minutes… Is that fast enough, Colonel?”


Shego slipped into her green and black working clothes as quickly as Kim could gather toothbrushes and deodorant.

Once outside Shego admired their transport, “Oooh, a Lynx! I'm assuming it's been modified?”

“A little.”

“Can I take the controls for part of the trip?”

“If you wish, hurry.”

Once on board Shego explained. “There are several stock helicopters with faster airspeeds than the standard Westland Lynx, but a modified Lynx holds the speed record. It will be a couple hours until Mexico City and I haven't had as much experience as I'd like flying these.”

Engine noise made talk difficult, but Kim tried, “Why are we going to Mexico City?”

“Kidnap capital of the world, Princess.”


“That's what some people say. I figure places like Baghdad are worse, but they're so bad you can't rely on statistics. Mexico City is as bad as it gets under rule of law.”

“So, why do they need you?”

“I'm not really sure. The victim is the daughter of someone high in government. There was a possible sighting they want me to check out. At the moment it doesn't make sense, but they let me use beach houses and store my car and cycle--”

“You have a motorcycle? Can we ride it?”

“You always want the thrill, don't you?”

“Hey, it's why we're together.”

“If we didn't have our audience,” Shego jerked her head towards the security men in the back of the helicopter, “we could join the mile high club. Or maybe you don't mind an audience.”


“Awww, it's so cute. I haven't corrupted you completely. You can still blush.”

Eventually a uniformed co-pilot came back, “Señora Sombra, Colonel says you can take the controls.”

Kim tried to sleep, but the interior of the helicopter was too noisy to allow her to doze off.

Once in Mexico City the Colonel explained the need for Shego's unique talents. The neighborhood where someone had reported the kidnapper's car was extremely wealthy. A house to house search in the area would endanger the life of the hostage. And whether the kidnappers were discovered or not, the search would anger some of the rich and powerful. Shego would do a fast reconnaissance of the houses in a search area before dawn broke. She would either locate the home used by the kidnappers or enable the authorities to rule out the reported sighting.

It sounded suspicious to Shego, but when they took her to the edge of her search area it made sense. If kidnappers were using one of these mansions it was obvious that for someone crime paid. There were eight houses for her to check. The first three went quickly. She fought the temptation to pocket some of the jewelry, cash, or silver laying around, but she tried to avoid pilfering in Mexico -- and this was so easy she wondered if it might be a trap to test her.

The thug standing by the front window at the fourth house suggested she might have found the place. Another lookout watched the back door. There were drug lords and other options, but Shego suspected she'd found the kidnappers. An unlocked window on the second floor gave her access. Shego prowled through the dark house. Six men, no kidnap victim… Something wrong in a hall… Lots of dirt tracked on the floor leading from a locked door … Someone digging an escape tunnel was a good theory. The door probably went to the basement It was bolted on the inside -- someone was down there. Once outside a thin telescoping periscope allowed Shego a limited look in the basement through a heavy grate. The sun would be up soon, it was time for Shego to get out of there and make her report.

The Colonel's men had obtained blueprints of all the houses Shego would check, she had one spread open in front of her. “They keep two men on watch, one front and one back, and two men in the basement with the girl. These are the bedrooms they were using, but during the day they could be anywhere in the house.

“The guards wouldn't let me check the front and back doors, but the door to the basement is reinforced. You need to consider walls or windows because they may be easier to breach. It's not going to be easy, they may kill the victim and if there is an escape tunnel I have no way of knowing where it goes.”

“Is there any chance you would consider some sort of secret attack on them?”

“Like the anesthesia gas that killed so many in Moscow when the Russians used it? No. I don't like the eight-to-one odds. And it's full daylight, I can't hide as well and no one is asleep. I've done the job you requested. I'm sorry Colonel, but you'll need to formulate your own battle plan.”

“Come on, we have to help that girl,” Kim protested.

“You weren't listening, were you Kim. This doesn't concern us. There is no way an attack on that place is going to work. It would end up with the girl dead, and maybe an attacker or two. I don't want to get hurt, and I don't want you to get hurt. I did my job. We're out of here.”

“There's got to be a way. Colonel? I'd like to help you, if I can.”

“We're going back to Playa, our work is done!”

“I'm staying here. Someone needs help!”

“Damn you, Possible. Okay, Colonel, it appears my partner wants us to take this. It is not part of my usual job, the family will need to pay me for my time and the danger -- Oh, and any expenses, including medical. Please get someone on the phone for negotiations. We're not cheap -- but you can tell them I'm effective.”

While one of the Colonel's men contacted the family Shego, Kim, and the Colonel studied the blueprint.

“Could we get in through that window you found open last night?” Kim asked.

“Perhaps, but I think we would be better off if we try and go in through the front door.”

“The front door, how are we going to go in through reinforced door?”

“They're going to invite us in. Kim, we're going to be guests.”

In the early afternoon the front lookout noticed a taxi pull up in front of the house. He watched the occupants, two women, argue with the driver. One of them held some sort of paper and waved it in the driver's face. He pointed towards the house. The lookout called a second man to join him.

Meanwhile, the two women had emerged from the taxi, but still argued with the driver. He pointed to the house again, then held his hand out for money. The darkly tanned woman passed him some bills. It looked like she expected change -- but the driver sped away -- flipping the women a one-fingered salute. The lookout took his gun out its holster.

The colonel smiled as he pulled away. There had been several times over the last four years when he wanted to give Medianoche Sombra the finger. Today she had literally asked for it.

“[What are they doing?]” the lookout asked his friend.

“[I can't tell, but look at the tits on that redhead.]”

“[Think they are police?]”

“[Do police dress or look like that? They sure as hell aren't carrying any weapons.]” The women were dressed for the pool, or perhaps more accurately undressed for the pool. One of them appeared to have a liquor bottle of some sort, but their tiny wrists bags couldn't have held anything bigger than cell phones and credit cards. The lookout put his gun away.

The two women appeared to have continued the argument, now with each other, in front of the house, one still waving the piece of paper around.

The two women actually were arguing -- although it had nothing to do with the scene they were trying to create or the prop Kim was waving in the air

“God, Kim, if that suit were any smaller you'd be showing them your birthmark. Couldn't you have bought something with some modesty?”

“Well, you're the one always telling me to use distraction and misdirection as weapons.”

“Deception, Kim, deception. Not distraction. You can't deceive anyone in that swim suit.”

“You're just jealous because I have bigger distractions.”

“We have their attention, I can see one of them watching us. Time for act two.”

The lookout was almost curious enough to open the door and ask what was going on when the red head started towards the house, her companion following with seeming reluctance. She pounded on the door and the lookout opened it a crack.

“Excuse-o, could you give me the telephone number-o for a--” she turned to her companion, “How do you say taxi company?”

“God, Kim. They aren't total morons. Bonnie is a better actress. You've got to be counting on your boobs to get us inside.”

“Excuse me, señoritas, I speak English. What seems to be the problem?”

“We were looking for a house,” she handed him the piece of paper. “But this place doesn't look like you have a party going on.”

The piece of paper appeared to be a bar napkin, with an address badly scrawled on it. The house number was the same as this house -- but the street name was illegible. The women had to be drunk, they reeked of whiskey and tequila.

“I am sorry señoritas, I will give you the number--”

His friend pushed him aside and opened the door wide. “Come in. Come in. You are early for the party. It will start very soon.” “[Idiot, keep watch, you can have a turn later.]”

“Where's the pool? There's supposed to be a pool!” the redhead giggled.

“Come this way, we'll show you to the pool. Let Jorge get your friend a drink.”

The four men divided into two teams of two, wanting to make certain both women could be overpowered quickly. Kim had a ‘host’ in front of her, and another behind to make sure she didn't bolt. The man in the lead heard a soft thud and turned. “Your friend tripped,” the redhead giggled. He bent to help the second man on his feet and the redhead's knee connected with his chin with a force that rocked his head back and left him instantly unconscious. She grabbed him by the shoulders to keep him from crashing to the floor, but his weight caused her to partially lose her balance, twisting her ankle. Kim clenched her teeth to keep from screaming in pain. She had already screwed up once, making more noise than she should have in dropping the man behind her. And Shego had been right -- the high heels were a mistake, but she had wanted to draw attention to her legs -- although the men had kept their attention on the contents of her bikini top. Kim kicked off her shoes and limped back to the first room. Peeking in she found Shego had already tied up the two men who stayed with her.

“Do you want me to bring my two in here,” Kim whispered.

“Not if you're going to make noise like that! The lookouts at the front and back must have heard something.”

“Look they're probably expecting some noise -- like two women being overpowered.”

“Well, they can wait a little longer.”

“Do you want me to take one out -- we could coordinate time.”

“Nothing personal Kim, but you're better at strength than stealth -- and I have a sense of the layout. Why don't you start getting your props ready and review your lines.”

Shego chose the lookout from the front door as the audience for their little drama, which meant she had to take out the back lookout first. About five minutes later the face of the front guard is face was the perfect shade of purple from the cord around his neck when Kim walked in, covered with blood and wiping the blade of a knife she had taken from one of the captives. The blood splatter patterns were wrong, but there had been no time for more specific directions -- and Shego didn't like being reminded why she knew what splatter patterns should look like. For stage and screen corn syrup and food coloring make convincing blood. For this, more private performance, it was important to have the smell right too. Kim's ‘liquor bottle’ had carried a mix of pig's blood and anti-coagulant to keep it liquid.

“Du bist wohl vom wilden affen gebissen!” the red head insisted.

“Nein, speak English.”

Before they went in Kim had demanded to know what this little German charade was all about. “Because, Princess, there is a chance someone might recognize the famous Kim Possible -- and remember that she doesn't hurt people. We want to be unknown and unpredictable. I hope they don't speak German. Oh, and be sure to stay it to Stoppable when you get back.”

“That one is still alive?”

“I thought we might question him first. Hey, stupid-o, do you understand this can be slow and painful or fast and painless?”

He nodded.

“Work with me here. What kind of a ransom were you and your buddies going to get?”

“Twenty-five million pesos.”

“Damn, we're only getting two million for the rescue.”

“I'd like that other twenty-three million,” the bloody maniac whispered. “But her daddy would recognize our voices if we call in and demand it.”

“You want to live?” Shego asked their captive. “Here's your chance. We need a phone man to speak with the family. Do a good job and we let you walk.”

“What's my share?”

“Your share? Your share is your life.”

“What about my friends in the basement? If the girl sees you she will tell the authorities if she's ransomed?”

“What makes you think she's going to be released?” The redhead asked. “It's easier just to kill everyone in the basement -- we just need you for the phone.”

“You need to keep her alive! Her parents will want to hear her voice. If she has seen you she might tell her parents -- you would never see the money!”

“I am sorry I called you stupid-o,” the darkly tanned woman said. “Fear has made you smart. Beate, we need him and his friends alive.” She addressed the captive, “I am even willing to let you and your friends split our two million, while we take the twenty-three, if we can do this without more bloodshed.”

“Two million isn't very much.”

The tan woman shrugged. “Perhaps it would be enough for your friends in the basement. They should be enough -- we don't need you.”

“Please, I'm in with you. What do you need?”

“What we need is for the door to the basement to be unbolted.”

“No one else will die?”

“No one else will die.”

Kim stood to the side of the door while Shego remained behind their captive as he knocked on the door, “[Hey, either of you need a break?]”

“Si.” The door unbolted from the other side. Kim knocked the man at the top of the stair out and caught him before he could fall, a much easier feat since she had ditched the heels. Shego meanwhile had gagged the front lookout -- who sat very quietly under the eye of the bloody maniac. Shego went into the gloom of the basement, lost in shadows. Within seconds it was over.

“Colonel? You can send your men in to pick up the prisoners -- and tell the family I would like the reward money in my account as soon as possible.”

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