Ron chuckled, and they all looked at him expectantly. “Maybe not every time, KP, but for now – please - allow us fags to be gracious to you dykes.” He started giggling again.
It was contagious.
The small-talk at dinner with Mrs. Possible had been congenial. Shego was on her best behavior, but everyone still kept an eye on her. She offered to help Kim's mom carry the plates to the kitchen, in preparation for desert, astounding everyone, especially Mrs. Anne Possible.
“That was astounding”, Josh said. “I've never had steak that good.”
Anne said, “You can thank Ron. I just bought it, he cooked it. He's amazing, isn't he?”
Josh winked slyly at Ron, who blushed faintly, knowing everyone was staring at him. “Yeah, he is.”
Kim and Shego pursed their lips to keep from giggling.
“Good thing we didn't go with Mom's first idea; tacos!”, Kim said innocently.
Shego dropped a saucer, and it shattered on the cement porch. Everyone's eyes went to her.
“You okay, Shego?”, Kim asked.
Shego had a hard time answering, she was so ready to burst out laughing. “Uh… uh, yeah… Uh, just lemme get these into, uh…” She looked up to see if anyone else had caught the connection, but no one seemed to be smiling.
Except Mrs. Possible, whose face had an odd pinched expression, as she was having to force herself not to smile, all the harder knowing someone else had got the connection. “Let me help you with those, dear”, she said, taking some of the stack out of Shego's arms. Shego followed her into the kitchen, away from Kim and the boys.
Shego was trying desperatly to take her mind off what was so funny. “I'm sorry, Anne… just clumsy, I guess…”
But Mrs. Possible, after sitting down the stack of dishes she was carrying, and still with that strange, pinched look, only looked Shego in the eye and said, flatly but full of meaning, “Tacos.”
When the others came into the kitchen a few moments later to see what the hell was going on in there, they found Mrs. Possible barely able to hold herself up by holding onto the counter, while Shego was actually rolling on the floor, both of them still laughing so hard they didn't even notice the intrusion.
Shego got an advance on her first paycheck, and was able to get her own apartment, sparsely-furnished with rented furniture. No TV, no dishes, no bookcases… but a two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a couch, a recliner, and a double-bed. It was only a short walk from the apartment they'd been borrowing.
Showing them around with a little embarrassment – what was there to show? - she finally took what she considered to be The Plunge:
“Kim, here's a key”, she said, which was the easy part. It went without saying that Kim would get a key, after all. The hard part was this: “Guys… if you laugh at me, I'll… I'll get you for it. I don't know how, but I'll get you. Here. Mi casa es su casa”, she handed a key to each of them. “Sorry your bedroom is so bare… y'know, what with deposits, utilities, an all, I just couldn't afford -”
She was cut off by simultaneous hugs from both boys. Afterwards, they both stood back, smiling at her, but Shego had to look away, embarrassed by her own generosity.
Kim said, “So Josh. When's Todd due back?”
“Couple more weeks. Unless he gets extended… he has been known to be gone for up to two months at a time.”
“Do you think it'd be okay if we, uh, borrowed a few things? Like a the entertainment center, maybe…”, she shyly eyed Ron and Josh, standing together, “the bed… some linens… dishes…”
Josh sighed. “Might be okay. But I've got a TV at home in my bedroom. I'll bring it. Stereo, too. Well, boom-box, anyway.”
Ron added, “I know where I can get some dishes and stuff. Cookware, too, and -”
“I'll do the linens and towels, sheets, blankets…”, Kim broke in.
Shego felt herself start to tear up, and excused herself for the master bathroom. Once she got there, she hollered through the door, “TOILET PAPER!”
By the end of the day, Shego's new apartment was livable. By the next morning, it had been lived in.
“I WILL NOT carry that thing! They're disgusting!”, Shego told Dr. Director. She placed the gun on her desk. Going through the chain of command, she'd finally ended up here – it had taken all morning, but Shego had remained steadfast. Guns were beneath her. There was no honor in guns. Any idiot could fire a gun.
“Ms. Go,” the Director began, supremely calm, “what is the first rule of Martial Arts?”
“'Use greater force against itself'”, Shego replied, not seeing any connection.
“Excellent. Now, what's the first rule of a gun-fight?”, she asked.
“I don't know and I don't -”
“It's ‘Bring a Gun', Ms. Go. And more generally, the rule-of-thumb for any kind of fight, is ‘don't bring a knife to a gun-fight’.”
“I don't need it. I can -”, but again, Shego was cut off.
“You have fast reflexes, I hear. Can you dodge a bullet? They generally travel around 450 feet per second. More to the point, that's 10 feet in 1/45th of a second. What can you do in 1/45th of a second, Ms. Go?”, Dr. Director asked coldly.
Shego couldn't answer. That was fast… a tenth of a second, she might be able to handle, but a forty-fifth? “It's not that simple. I'm smart enough to stay out of situations where -”
“Perhaps you are, when you get to choose your ‘situations’. But you don't, anymore, you see. I choose your battles now, Ms. Go. And you will find your opponents somewhat more… resourceful, than what you're used to”, Dr. Director turned back to the papers on her desk. “Take it, Ms. Go. You will need it.” Dr. Director seemed to be thinking something, and looked up at Shego again, “By the way, you'll be going to Hong Kong in a month. Better brush-up on your Chinese. You are dismissed.”
Shego looked at the pistol on the desk. It was a compensated, black, high-capacity .45 auto, government model. She thought it was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. Plus, it was HUGE! How was THAT going to be concealed in her skin-tight suit?
Knowing she'd been dismissed, Shego spoke with some trepidation, “Dr. Director. May I at least be given something… smaller?”
The director sighed. “Ask D for a three-eighty PPK instead. Perhaps it will be more to your liking. Just don't ask him to put pearl handles on it - he gets really pissed when you do that - I should know.” She looked back down at her papers and smiled to herself.
“Thank you, Dr. Director”, Shego said.
The Director just waved her off, intent on the folder in front of her.
After Shego closed the door behind her, the Director picked up the phone and punched in three numbers.
“It's me. I think we'd better bring in Mr. Mankey. Yes. I know, but I think his… talent… will be needed; as an organization we sorely lack that particular skill. See to it. I know, but it's been my experience that extra-ordinary people tend to cluster together, even if their skills are disparate. Log-Ops. Oh, and you might want to accelerate the usual course-work by, say, a factor of 5? Yes, he is. From what I've been told, yes, he can. Thank you.”
“Eight HOURS! You're supposed to be there for EIGHT HOURS a day, seven days a week?”, Ron was angry – his whole summer was going to be ruined if Josh was going to have to spend every day, every single day at the GJ.
“Only for a few weeks, Ron. Look, I'm sorry about this. But really, in the long run, you and I will be able to work together and -”, Josh tried to explain.
“I don't CARE about the long run!”, Ron fumed. “What I care about is… we've been seeing each other what, three weeks? Four? I'm just getting used to… I mean, I'm just now getting the hang of… being with someone! And in three more weeks summer will be over! Then it's back to school, no more hanging out here every day, and I'll have to start watching what I say and do all the damn time…” Ron paused for breath. This was all sothe drama… just when things were going so good, between him and Josh, Kim and Shego… everybody!
“Wait a minute”, Ron said suddenly, “You don't work for the GJ. In fact, you're a minor, so they can't make you do anything! You… you volunteered for this?”, Ron asked incredulously.
Josh took his time. He was not feeling as confident in himself as he was known to seem. “Look, Ron… You and Kim are basically ‘Team Possible’. You've got a list of accomplishments as long as my arm. And so does Shego, even if maybe those accomplishments are on the wrong side. And now you, Kim, and Shego are like… a new Team or something and I'm… I'm still just Josh.”
“But -”, Ron began to complain.
“Listen to me. The Director said they needed me. Besides that, she said you, the three of you needed me. NEEDED me, Ron! Like I could be one of you. What was I supposed to say? ‘No, thanks, ma'am, it might interfere with my sex-life’? C'mon. Kim has her martial-arts, Shego does too, plus super-powers besides, and you have… well, she couldn't exactly say what you have – or wouldn't – but whatever it is, you're on the Team. And I'm not”, he turned away from his freckled blonde boyfriend. “I really respect you guys for the stuff you do. I just want… I needyou to respect me, too.”
Ron took a deep breath, and embraced Josh from behind, resting his chin on Josh's shoulder. After awhile, he said “Okay. You don't need to earn my respect, Josh… but I think I can understand feeling like you do. As Kim's ‘sidekick', I've been there. Go be a… uh, what is it they want you for, anyway?”
“Logistical Operations.”
“… which means…”, Ron wanted to know.
“I have no idea. She said it was like chess, so I said I'd do it.”
“Uhm”, Ron had never released his embrace. Being rather distracted, he just said “Uhm” again, and nuzzled the nape of the other boy's neck. He was still rather distracted – and getting more so by the second – when the door opened.
“Shego!”, both boys said at almost the same time, trying hard to look like they hadn't been doing anything. But Shego only laughed.
“You guys are as bad as we are, aren't you?”, she said putting groceries down on the counter. Kim was following behind with her arms full as well.
Josh was looking at her funny. “Shego… did you, uh… did you change?”
Before she could answer, Ron said, “I thought it was my job to buy the groceries! God knows what kind of junk the two of you bought…” He began rifling through the bags making grunting noises of disapproval.
Shego replied sarcastically, “When there's no groceries AT ALL, I figured even us amateurs could pick out a few basic things. Change how, Josh?” She was watching Ron with an amused look.
Josh was puzzled, and glad no one was looking at him. “Uh… Nothing. So, where did the two of you go, then?”, he asked, trying to sound casual.
Kim answered for her, “You know. Mall. Supermarket. Secret Lesbian Store. The usual.”
“Ah.”, Josh said. That wasn't right, and Josh knew it. He'd seen Shego at the GJ building only an hour ago. Something was wrong. The question was, whether to confront her about it, or inform the others – well, Ron anyway – secretly. He weighed the options, trying to imagine what might happen, if various things turned out to be true, in each scenario. It only took a second - an observer wouldn't have noticed anything odd in Josh's behavoir.
“Shego, I just saw you at the GJ, and wearing your green-and-black, uh, wetsuit or whatever. What's going on?”.
Everyone looked at him, shocked. Kim was looking back and forth between her and Josh, as if wondering who to believe, her own eyes, or Josh's story. She – indeed, they all - had learned to pay attention when Josh made a flat-out statement.
Shego sighed. She'd been afraid of this, since she'd learned that he'd be going there that morning for another interview with Dr. Director.
“What you saw was Sheaghen. A syntho-drone copy of me Dr. D made as a lab-assistant.”
Kim said, “… and you didn't think that was something we would want to know? You told me – us – about Drakken, and left out the little part about a robot-copy of you?”
“It's not that simple, Kim. She… it… no, she, has my personality, too. She got it from the Compliance Chip that was on me. I mean, she acts exactly like me… it's… weird…”, Shego explained.
“So why didn't you tell us about her?”, Kim still wanted to know.
“Uh… well… she acts exactly like I do, Kim. I thought… maybe… I didn't think it would be good if you were to meet.”
“Because?”
“Look, I don't know how much of me is in her, but I do know it's a lot. More than I would have imagined. I fell in love – well, lust - with you at first sight, like Ron said… what if she…”, Shego paused, wondering if she were just being stupid, silly, or jealous.
Kim chuckled, “You were afraid a syntho-drone would get the hots for me?” The chuckle turned into an outright laugh. The boys were chuckling too, now.
Shego frowned. She was not used to being laughed at. “Let me put it this way: she enjoys tormenting people with snide remarks, she can apparantly over-ride Dr. D's programming, and she steals from his piggy-bank.”
Everyone stopped laughing at once.
“'Nuff said?”, Shego asked, one eyebrow arched.
A month later.
Josh was talking into his very own Communicator, “Yeah. Yeah, Wade but it's the best I can do. I don't think Shego had any more to tell me! And frankly, she was getting pissed at me asking all the time.”
Wade was punching his keyboard at the same time he was talking, as usual. “Okay, but according to my calculations, it's gonna take…”, the boy-genius paused, waiting on his computer, “700 hours to crank this through. It's too sparse, there are too many variables. We need serious iron for this. Like Deep Blue or something… and Deep Blue costs fifteen thousand dollars a minute.”
Josh sighed. “Can you work up an estimate for me, Wade? I'll present it to the Director. Maybe we'll get the money. I think this is important.”
“Can-do, Skeeter”, Wade said absent-mindedly, already working on it.
Josh did a double-take. “Uh… ‘Skeeter’?”
Wade actually looked away from his terminal, blushing a little, “Oh. Uh… you really should learn to turn your Communicator's mic off…”
Josh rolled his eyes and looked at the ceiling. “Goodbye, Wade”, he said, breaking the connection. Where was that button, anyway?