So so so…
He sighed. “I think what he probably said was, ‘Myname is legion’”.
“I don’t get it” Kim said. “ ‘Legion’?”
“From the Bible” Ron explained, “It’s what… Satan… or one of His demons, I forget, calls himself. ‘for we are many’, is the rest of it.”
Kim stared at him slack-jaw, waiting for more of an explanation than that. Satan? The devil? You can’t be serious…
Shego just continued watching Ron’s hands as they did the church, steeple, people thing over and over.
After what seemed like an hour, but was actually only a few minutes, Ron broke out of his reverie. “Yeah, the devil. Chaos personified. The Destroyer, the Trickster, the Liar. Pick your doctrine. Hebrew, Christian, Hindu… That is always the same.” He looked up toward Shego.
“Shego. Look” he said. She looked up at him, guilt filling her face, “Shego, it’s not your fault, and you are not stupid. He… Lee, let’s call him, he’s had millions of years, and maybe more that we can’t comprehend… he is the Liar. The Trickster. You have been tricked and lied to, but don’t blame yourself. Whatever else you may be, and… well, you may be super-human, but you’re still only human. Lee is something else. Call it extra-human. Outside humanity. He is not one of us, Shego.”
“I… I still… I did things that caused -”, Shego choked.
“Maybe. Or maybe that’s what he wants you to think. Shego…, bad things happen to good people all the time. Priests and philosophers have been arguing about why for… as long as there have been priests and philosophers. Maybe there’s a hidden force at work, or maybe it’s just… well, shit happens. And maybe you have had something to do with some of them, but… there are things we’ll never know, Shego. But I know you’ve been used. Used by the best, most subtle, most devious User that’s ever existed.”
Seeing that she wasn’t really buying it, Ron reached for her hands across the table, and held them.
“Shego, I don’t blame you. Kim doesn’t blame you.” She looked over at Kim, who could only nod, no, I don’t. “Please, Shego,” Ron went on, “you’ve got to stop blaming yourself. I know it’ll be… hard… We are going to need you. Maybe… maybe we already do…” Ron released her hands. Shego pulled them back to herself, but Kim took them before she could hide them under the table.
Shego just stared at the table-top. Please don’t say anything Kim… I can’t take anymore. I can’t deal with people… caring… about me. I just can’t. Not even… not even if it’s you.
But still Kim held both of her hands. Shego tried to pull away, but Kim just held on tighter. Shego looked up at Kim, about to ask her to let go, please, but the look on Kim’s face stopped her words in her throat.
I’m here for you.
Just that, and nothing more. No qualifiers, no details, adjectives, clauses, fine-print, or un-spoken exceptions. I am here for you. Simple. Perhaps simpler still: I am here.
Click. Beep-beep. Yeah, Wade? Look, never mind on the Lee-Jinn thing. Yeah. We figured it out. Look, can you, uh, can you classify news stories by… by their potential to… become disasters? Human disasters. Uh, yeah. Yes, uploading that now. Got it? What? Okay, I’ll think about it. Okay, okay, Wade, I’m not a tech, remember? What’s an “eigenvalue”? Well, whatever… Wade, I’ll get back to you with that, okay? Right. Out.
“Hoo-kay”, Ron sighed, “I’ve got some work to do. Kim, Shego… ‘Adult Swim’ is almost on. Why don’t I make some popcorn and you two can watch some TV. Take your minds off things. Huh?”
They looked at him as if he were insane. After all this? Cartoons? We’re dealing with Satan himself and you want us to watch cartoons? But Ron had already got up and gone into the kitchen. They watched him over the breakfast bar, sliding the popcorn into the microwave, punching in the time (Kim noticed he didn’t just use the ‘Popcorn’ button), opening the ‘fridge, all in a suite of continuous motion. He’s done this before, Kim thought. A lot.
Kim looked at Shego. “Well? Maybe you’d rather… be alone… for awhile?” she asked.
“Nah. Somehow… ‘cartoons’ sounds like a good idea, right now” Shego admitted, and got up from her chair, with only a little grunting. “Kinna stiff…”, she confided with just a trace of humility.
Kim took the end of the couch nearest the TV, while Shego curled up on the other end. Ron brought the popcorn (doctored, of course… lecithin, brewer’s yeast, and yes, parmesan cheese) and tossed the remote at Kim. Then he collected his notebook, ripped several pages out and set them aside, took a seat in the recliner, and began his ‘work’.
Nothing was said for half an hour. Ron was busy creating a matrix of places, types of activity, assumed priorities, and possible consequences. A chart of Shego’s work for the past year. Done the way Wade wanted to see it. What the hell IS an ‘eigenvalue’?, he thought idly, I must look that up some time. I dunno what we’d do without Wade. He looked over at the two girls on the couch, intently watching ‘Home Movies’.
Well, Kim was intently watching ‘Home Movies’ anyway. A little too intently. Shego seemed to be intently watching Kim, and smiling to herself. Well, looks like she’s cheered up, anyway…Then he noticed: Shego had stretched out her legs and was gently pushing her bare feet against Kim’s thigh. So non-chalant. Ron smiled. God she’s cute. But she’s going too far too fast. He sighed.
“Um, Shego, I have some questions about a couple of your missions. Could I talk to you outside? They might get kind of… private.”
“Once again, Stoppable, your timing really sucks!” Shego sighed. “But fine. Let’s go.”
Kim pretended to be so caught up in the program that she didn’t notice.
Outside, Shego said, “Y’know, I really don’t want to talk about this stuff right now, Ron…”
“Yeah, well… uh”, Ron stalled until the door had been closed and they’d walked a little ways down the sidewalk. “You’ve gotta stop teasing her like that, Shego”.
“Huh?” she asked, unprepared. Huh? she also thought.
“You know what I’m talking about. Look… I know she’s cute when she’s embarrassed, but you’re going to make her… resent you, if you keep it up like that”.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Shego protested, while her mind whirled. Does he know? Does he know? Well, so what if he does…“And besides, I don’t think it’s any of your business.”
“Well, then let me set you straight” Ron began to get irritated. “She is my business!” he pointed back to the apartment. “Everything to do with her, is my business. And that includes you! So you’d best get -” Ron cut himself off.
“Sorry, sorry… just getting… uh… sorry” Ron tried to apologize.
Oh… my… god…, Shego thought. He knows and he’s… ok with it? I have GOT to be wrong about this! She’s his girlfriend! What’s he thinking? And then she realized: Ron thought she was just teasing Kim as per usual. Maybe in a more friendly way, but only a friendly way… not…
“Look, Ron…” Shego began, “I… okay, so she is your business. Don’t worry, I’m not going to steal your girlfriend or anything. You have my word.” For what that’s worth.
“What?”
“I said I wasn’t going to steal your girlfriend, okay? Hands off. I got it. Alright?” now Shego was getting pissed.
“Oh! Ahhhh…” he stopped walking, a perplexed look on his face. Shego watched him carefully. Suddenly he looked at her as if seeing something for the first time, and reached for her hands.
“I guess I owe you an apology, Shego. Um… what we have here is a lack of communication. Heh. She’s not my girlfriend. We tried that. Didn’t work. Uh… no one’s fault… we’re just ‘Best Friends for Life’, is all” Ron had an apologetic tone. He looked at the ground between them and let go of her hands, “Gah! I wasn’t thinking! I just assumed… geez. I’m so stupid…” he trailed off.
“Um… I’m on your side here, Shego”, he finished, looking back up at her.
Shego was shocked. My side? MY side? He wanted to get Kim together with her?She stammered, “You… you are? You mean… you… And… and this isn’t your little love-nest?”
Ron had a perplexed look on his face again. Little love nest? Me and… Kim? He began to chuckle. “Um, no. This isn’t our ‘little love nest’” he chuckled some more. Slightly embarassed, he turned away, trying to hide his smile. The chuckles turned into guffaws.
“Ok ok ok” now it was Shego’s turn to blush, faintly pink behind the light green, “It wasn’t that funny!”
Ron’s laughter died down slowly. “Actually, it was”, he looked back around at her. “Why Shego! Now you’re blushing! I never would have believed it!”
Shego looked down at the sidewalk, actually flustered.
“And y’know what? You’re just as cute doing it as she is, too”, he said with a smile – a different sort of smile.
She looked at him, furrowing her eyebrows. Huh? What's gotten into you, Ron?
Ron turned around and began walking back toward the door. “Look” he said, not turning to see if she was following, “just take it easy, huh? She has more… issues… to deal with than you do”. She heard him start to chuckle lightly again.
“Ron!” she said suddenly.
“Hm?” he turned around.
“Uh… are you saying… I mean, do I… is she…” she sighed heavily, “What are my chances?” I can’t believe I just said that! To him!
Ron regarded the raven-haired – but still way to skinny – girl. God, lesbians are sweet.“Well, Shego… I really don’t know. I mean, I know how you feel about her. You’re an open book – sorry, I don’t mean that in a bad way. At least as far as that goes” Ron said sincerely, “but her feelings towards you are… something of a mystery. Shego, I, uh, get the feeling that your chances are pretty good, but I also think that you could – if you really tried - …uh – well – fuck it up. Beyond All Repair.”
Can he be serious? Is he serious?“Are you serious?” she finally said.
“I daresay. About both parts, too” he replied.
Shego thought about that for awhile. “Ron, why are you talking like that?”
“Like what?” he asked, genuinely curious.
“’I daresay’. Have you been watching Brit-Coms or something?”
He smiled self-deprecatingly. “Maybe…”
“Well, stop it. It’s freaking me out. Kim too, I think.”
Ron just have a “Heh”. He did have a taste for dry English comedy… but it has been awhile since he’d seen his last ‘Fawlty Towers’…
She walked up to where he was, looking him in the eye. “Well, anyway, if you catch me ‘fucking it up’, whack me on the head, huh?” she half-smiled. She resisted the urge to give him a peck on the cheek, surprised that she had even considered it.
“Deal.”
She thought, You’re all right, Ron, as they walked back to the door. Then, a new thing occurred to her: Do I have a friend, now? But… that’s not the right word, is it…
They went back in and resumed their positions. But this time, Shego kept her feet curled up under herself.
Meanwhile, in their absence, Kim had had an epiphany: TWO can play at THAT game, Shego…