Dr. Drakken answered carefully, “Well… uhm… let me put it this way: could you think… cold thoughts?”
Shego's head lowered behind the screen again, and she went back to stand on the ‘x’ taped to the floor. She sighed heavily, then she tweaked herself with her fingertips saying, “I do not BELIEVEI'm doing this!”
Ron picked Kim up at her house, and she climbed in the front seat next to him. Josh had been left at his brother's apartment to work on the matrix of missions from Shego's employment with Lee. They headed off to GJ headquarters to pick up Shego, after stopping for gas and a few snacks to tide them over.
Kim had ridden in silence since Ron had picked her up. She was still trying to get over her mother's reaction – or lack thereof – to her ‘coming out’. She actually listed Monique and Bonnie as potential lovers! she thought. Didn't sound like she'd have been too happy if it'd been Bonnie, though. Of course, she was none too pleased with the idea of Shego, either, at first…
Finally, Ron asked, “So, uh… how'd it go?”
“She already knew. It wasn't even a surprise!”, Kim sighed. Coming out to her mother had been almost a non-event. “She was just disappointed that Shego was my choice, is all. But I told her how things are now… oh, we're invited to dinner tomorrow night, by the way.”
“Boo-yah! Free food! Well, I'm glad you could do it, anyway” Ron said.
Kim looked out the window. It wasn't finished yet. “I left a message on Bonnie's machine. So by tomorrow, everyone will know. I wish I knew whether that was a good idea or not…”
Ron didn't say anything.
After an awkward moment, she asked, “Well? Do you think it was a stupid thing to do?”
He sighed. “Yeah. Well, I dunno. It's different for girls. All I know is that I can't wait for high school to be over with.”
“It's really that bad?”
“It could be. Could we talk about something else?”
After another interlude of tense silence, Kim looked over at him. “So, this is the first chance we've had to be alone since… well, today. Ron… I'm sorry about how I handled it when… when Josh came in. Shego had to zap me out, y'know. I just lost it. Please don't start giggling now…”
He didn't, because he could tell by the tone of her voice that this was no laughing matter. “S'okay, Kim. But… uh… I've been wanting to ask you; was it really that shocking?”
Kim didn't answer right away, but only looked back out the side window. She could see her reflection in the dark glass. “Yes, it was. I'd rather not say why, if that's okay.”
“Sure, KP. No big.”
“Oh! Ron! Do you have to be so… damn understanding! It just makes it worse!” Kim cried, suddenly angry. Ron was taken aback.
“Uh… sorry…”
“Just STOP it, okay? Stop forgiving me, understanding me, saying ‘you're sorry’ for things that are my fault… just STOP!”
They rode in silence for a city mile.
Kim was the one who finally gave in. She couldn't stand keeping the shame to herself anymore. “I've been taking advantage of you for years Ron! Seriously. For… like, since I can remember.”
Since Kim had opened the can, Ron pried, “How so?”
“Because I've always known I'd never have to be alone. I've always known you'd be there no matter what. I'd go out with guys to check them out, knowing that if it didn't work out, there'd always be you. I kept thinking I'd find… someone better, somehow…” she sighed deeply, “But I never had to worry about it, because I knew you'd always be there. Never even thought about it. Never occurred to me that you might not appreciate being my little safety-net while I look around. I'm basically a conceited, selfish bitch, Ron. And I'd rather make-believe that I ‘turned you gay’ than admit that”, she said, unable to face him. She could feel his eyes burning into the back of her head.
“You're not a ‘conceited, selfish bitch', KP…”
“This is so NOT a good time to be understanding, Ron. I am. Shut-up and drive.”
Another mile went by, before she was able to calm down enough to say, “So, do you love him?”
Ron looked over at her, then back to the street. “Yeah. But it's not… it's not like you and Shego. We don't have what you have. I dunno how long it'll last, either. I'm just… well, I'm just glad to have it now, is all.”
Kim thought about what he'd said. “Do you ever wish it was… like me and Shego?”
He glanced at her again, then sighed and smiled faintly to himself. “Yeah. Sometimes.”
“I love you, Ron. You know what I mean” Kim said earnestly. He was right, saying it DOES make it different.
“Yeah.”
And that ended that. The boulder was off her shoulder, he hadn't laughed at her, she'd let him know how she felt, and – at least between them, and at least for now – it was sunshine and peaches.
Speaking of which…
“Candy?” she offered innocently.
“Uhm, sure” he said, and Kim unwrapped it for him, setting the fragrant lozenge into his outstretched hand. He popped it into his mouth without looking at it. Kim was slurping and teething her own candy around on her tongue, licking her lips, and trying to keep from giggling.
“Like it?” she asked him.
“Uhm… sure. What is it?”
“What's it taste like?”
“… I dunno… artificial flavors don't usually taste like what say they do, anyway. Some kind of fruit?”
“Uhm” Kim slurped some more. “Remind you of anything?” She was so proud of herself for being able to act so cool.
It did, in fact, remind Ron of something, but he had no idea what. Something about it was trying to trigger a memory… but wasn't quite able to do it. It was perplexing. His brow furrowed.
“Give me a hint, KP” Ron said in exasperation.
“Well, is it familiar or not?” she wanted to know first.
“Yeah, okay, it's familiar. But I can't for the life of me figure out what or where -”
“Let me put it this way, Ron… You shouldn't have taken my favorite pair. I missed them.”
Ron didn't get it – his brow remained furrowed.
“You know, the pink ones with the teddy-bear on the butt?” She kept looking straight ahead, trying to appear fascinated in the passing streetlights.
Ron inadvertently swallowed his candy, with a loud gulp.Kim pretended not to notice, but couldn't hold out for long, and looked over at her ex-boyfriend. When the rays from a passing streetlight would shine on Ron's face, she could see that it was fire-engine red. Looks like he remembers NOW,Kim giggled inside.
“Watch the stoplight, Ron. It's saying ‘stop', you know…”
Ron had been about to run it, and slammed on the brakes. The resulting silence was only broken by the sound of Kim's incessant suckling on her Jolly Rancher.
When the light turned green, she decided that he'd had enough embarrassment. “It's okay, Ron. Actually, after thinking about it, I was kind of flattered.”
“That was a long time ago, Kim…” Ron was finally able to say. To the two teenagers, anything that had happened over a year ago was ancient history.
“True. I guess yourmemory is pretty sharp…” she couldn't help giggling out loud now.
If possible, Ron turned a shade brighter.
“Look, Ron. Let's swap. I've never told anyone about it, and I'll never mention it again, if you never bring up the ‘I turned you gay’ thing. Do we have a deal?”, Kim said diplomatically.
Ron only nodded.
“Good. Want another?” Kim asked holding out another of the orange-ish candies. Ron turned to look at her. “You're just mean” he said. But gradually a smile came to his face. “Sure. Lemme have it.”
“Say ‘please’.”
“Please.”
“I dunno, I don't think you're sincere…” Kim said coyly.
“KP! Please give me another panty-flavored candy!” Ron shouted.
They were both still laughing when they came to the GJ building.
Shego had been waiting on the front steps. When Ron pulled up in front of her, Kim got out and hugged her girlfriend, asking her how it went, and both girls climbed into the backseat of his car.
The first thing Shego said was: “Ron. Food. Now.” It was getting close to 11 at night, and they hadn't eaten since they'd picked up Bueno Nacho before going in to the GJ… at which time, Shego hadn't felt especially hungry anyway. “And not Bueno Nacho, either!” she added.
“'fraid there's not much left open. Burgers?” he asked.
“Fine. Uhm… Kim, I'm kind of broke, could I borrow… what's that smell?” Shego sniffed the air.
Ron looked in the rear view mirror to see Kim looking right back at him, and they both broke into stop-and-go snickers.
“What he hell? Kim? What's so funny?” Shego asked.
Kim just dug back into her goody bag and pulled out a candy, holding it up to her. “It's these.”
Shego squinted at it in the dim light. “'Jolly Ranchers. Peach-flavor. I don't get it.”
To which Kim was unable to stop herself from saying “Oh, you will”,and breaking into sniggles again.
“Did you guys get a hold of a De-Aging ray or something? You're both acting like sixth-graders. Now what is so funny!” Shego raised her voice over the snickering noises, getting pissed at not being in on the joke.
“BURGERS! Here we go! I'm starved! C'mon. Oh, and Shego? I'm buying” Ron attempted to change the subject. It only worked because Shego was so incredibly hungry, she didn't have to be told twice to get out of the car. Good thing Jack-in-the-Box is right next to the GJ, he thought.
Shego devoured four third-pound burgers, two large fries, and what passed – barely – as a “hot apple pie”. The woman had a stomach the size of a football, apparently. Ron picked up something for Josh, and they left within half an hour of sitting down. What with the way Shego was stuffing herself, there hadn't been much time for conversation.
Back in the car, Shego patted her stomach and said, “Hey. Guess who else is working at the GJ, now…”
They couldn't guess, so she told them. After the obligatory “What!”'s and “How!”'s, Shego told them about her experience at Drakken's not-exactly-lair, in the basement of the GJ building. She left out the parts about Sheaghen, her synthodrone copy, as well as the improvements to Sheaghen she'd assisted with.
“The times, they are a-changin'” Ron said, somewhat less than melodically.
Back at Josh's brother's apartment, and after Josh had finished his meal, it was time for more awkward silences. This time, it was Josh who laid it out.
“Okay, look. We all know what we all want to do. Here's my plan: girls? You take the bedroom. Ron and I will stay here. I'll put some music on the box, and we'll just… stay out of each other's way ‘till morning. Sound good?”
They all looked at him in silence.
Then the two pairs of partners looked at each other, also in silence.
Finally, Shego said, “Uh… Kim? You know I'm dying for this, right?”
Kim nodded, watching her girlfriend's eyes.
“Well… it's just that… it's been a long, long day, I'm stuffed with bad fast-food, and you people keep waking me up at ungodly hours of the morning. So… what I'm saying is…”
Kim completed the thought, “… I want it to be special, too, sweet-heart. I can wait another night, if you can.”
Somewhat surprised, Shego asked, “'Sweet-heart’?”
Kim hadn't even realized she'd said it. But now that she did, she stood by it: “Yeah. Sweet-heart” she smiled.
Ron looked at Josh hopefully, because he felt pretty-much the same way as Shego. “Josh?”
To which Josh replied with exaggerated frustration, “I thought you people were supposed to be super-heroes! Super strength and stamina, super-powers and all that! Now you're telling me you're too tired to… to…”
“Screw” Shego offered. She smiled at the blonde-haired boy, the one without the freckles. “Too tired to screw. Look, you guys can -”
But Josh dropped his frustrated-lover act and said, “Oh, thank god! I thought I was the only one!”
They were all able to relax with each other again. “Ron, I'm picking the movie this time!” Shego said.
“Great. ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’?” I don't think we have it” he said, scanning the inventory of disks and tapes.
“Funny, Ron. You really are getting quicker” Shego shot back, standing next to him, also looking over the movies. She nudged him with her elbow to emphasize it was all in fun, not that he needed telling. “Man, I'm gonna have to revise this collection. There's just – wait. Here we go. ‘Thelma and Louise'!” she held up the disk triumphantly. Both boys groaned.
Shego and Kim took their positions of the night before: Kim between the older girls’ legs, head between her breasts. Ron and Josh took up an almost identical situation in the recliner: Ron in front, Josh behind and above.
At the end of the movie, as Thelma and Louise drove off the cliff hand-in-hand, Ron and Kim were sniffling and handing a box of Kleenex back and forth between them. Shego and Josh just looked at each other, squeezed their respective partners, and smiled.