Sheaghen sighed. “Ah, they fined your butt off too, eh? Same with Drak. Okay, I'll buy, then, but you owe me. They don't pay synths, y'know. What money I have I steal from Drak's piggy-bank.”
Shego smiled at that thought. “Y'know what, Sheaghen? I'm liking you more all the time.”
In the GJ parking-lot, Ron got in the driver's side, leaving Kim to offer Josh the other front-seat, over his (light) protests.
“Just drop me off at my house, Ron” Kim said. She didn't feel like talking much, still trying to get over the intensity of her interlude with Shego in the elevator. It had come by surprise, and out of nowhere. She hadn't known she was going to “jump on Shego's bones” as soon as he door closed, and she certainly didn't know she would become so… engrossed… in her girlfriend. I swear to God, I wanted to actually eat her flesh! What happened to me? I'm not like that…
Am I?
Ron and Josh were talking about the work Ron had done on Shego's missions, which gave Kim ample time to think about things. After giving up on figuring herself out, Kim watched Middleton go by in the night, then another problem presented itself in her mind.
How am I – and AM I – going to tell Mom I'm a lesbian? Do I have to, at all? Maybe not, maybe…
But her mom would figure it out. Shego wasn't subtle – and apparently I'm not either, sometimes –and if they were going to spend any time together… well, her mom would figure it out. For that matter, so would Bonnie, Monique… Mr. Barkin… everybody would know. They'd all be sniggering behind her back. Probably calling her “rug-muncher”, which had sounded so funny coming from Ron, but wouldn't from Bonnie.
The thought of the whole school whispering about her, glancing at her, avoiding her was making her physically sick. Even Monique would be different towards her, though she might not come right out and ask, “So, Kim, word on the street is you're a Lez. Whazzup wi’ dat?”
She'd have to come out. She'd have to tell Mom. She'd might as well call up Bonnie and put it straight to her - well, to her answering machine, most likely.
“Hey, Ron? Sorry to interrupt, but have you told you parents… about… y'know…” Kim asked.
Ron took awhile to answer, getting his mind to switch gears, as it were. “No. Probably never will. I think Dad could at least handle it, but Mom's… kind of… well, traditional Jewish, I guess you'd say. The Torah does not look kindly at things like that. No, I'll never tell them.” He paused awhile, and then added, “If they find out on their own, then fine. I'll deal. Otherwise, it's ‘don't ask, don't tell', between my parents and me.”
“What about you, Josh?” Kim asked the other boy.
He sighed, “Yeah, I did. Had too. They found my… well, never mind. It was… memorable. I think they've become more accepting, even if I know they don't like it. We just try to stay out of each other's way, mostly. It helps that they're off so much of the time at digs around the world, looking for bones.”
Kim sighed, everyone seemed to have a special situation, none of which were of help to her.
Josh said “Thinking of coming out to your Mom, Kim?”
“Yeah. Thinking about it.”
“I wish I had your Mom to come out to. She's so cool. I don't know what you're worried about.” Josh said, trying to be comforting.
“That's ‘cause you're not a girl. Mom's want grandchildren”, Kim said, and then thought about it, and went on, “Sorry, that's not fair, they probably want grandkids from their sons, too.” She took a deep breath, “I don't know what to expect. I really don't.”
Kim lied to her mother about almost everything that she had been doing the last few days. Mrs. Possible seemed not to notice, and kept doing little housework chores while listening to her. But she could tell something was on her daughter's mind.
After saying hello and get-the-hell-out-of-here to the Tweebs, Kim found her mother alone – at last - in the kitchen, chopping up ingredients for a salad. The Tweebs were in their room. So at least it was a good time to talk. Kim wished it wasn't.
Mom, listen, I'm gay. Hi, Mom, I'm a lesbian, by the way. Mom, I'm… Mom, I'm in love. With a woman. Mom, I'm in love with Shego, and we… Kim sighed. Then she finally had a different thought.
“Mom, did you and Dad… did you fall in love first, or were you, uh, attracted to each other first?”
Her mother shot her a curious glance. “That's an intimate question to hear from my teenage daughter, Kimmie-cub”, she went back to work slicing cucumbers. “Well, I can't speak for your Dad, but I guess as for me… I fell in love first, and then became… interested, later. You know what I mean. We were in college, not a lot of free time, not a lot of time to think about relationships and such… but, yes, dear, I guess you could say I fell in love first. What an odd question! Why, are -”, and she stopped.
Trying to be calm, and still slicing the vegetables, Anne Possible said, “Is it Ron?”
“No, Mom, I just -”
“Josh?”
“No. Listen I -”
“Not Brick…”, her mother continued.
“Mom! No. Look -”
“Monique?”
“MOM! NO! I was -”
“Bonnie?”, her mother asked with a little dread in her voice.
“MOOOM! I'll -”
But her mother sighed loudly, cutting her off. She had dropped her utensils and was holding onto the counter with both hands, looking down into the salad-bowl.
“It's Shego, isn't it…” Mrs. Possible said dejectedly.
Kim was dumbstruck.
“Really, Kimmie, if you're going to swing that way, why couldn't it be Monique? She's such a nice girl…”
“DID EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS EXCEPT ME!” Kim yelled, unable to believe what she was hearing.
“Calm down, Kimmie-cub. I am your mother, remember. I notice things. And if anyone else did know, they certainly never told me.”
Kim was fishing around blindly with her hands looking for something to sit on. Finally, she found a stool, sat on it, and tried to focus on what was happening. She KNEW! No. She guessed. She GUESSED!
Her mother tried to calm her down, “Kim, it's all right… I'm not… upset. It's just that, well, I mean Shego… she's broken some of your bones! She's a villian! She works for that Drakken character! I… I was just hoping you could find someone… more suitable, that's all.”
It's all right?
“Mom, she's not like that. Well, okay, I know she was like that, but she's changed. If you could -”
“She's a thief!” her mother interrupted.
“Not any more.”
“She works for Drakken!”
“She quit…” Kim answered.
“She's a wanted criminal!”
“… and turned herself in to the GJ” Kim countered.
That stopped Mrs. Possible cold. “She did?”
“That's right.”
After a considerable pause, her mother asked, “Why?”
At which Kim looked up into her mother's face and said, voice cracking, “… for me, Mom.”
Now it was Anne's turn to fish for a chair. She found the stool next to Kim's. “I see.” They both sat in silence for a long time.
Finally, Anne Possible sighed. Then Kim did the same. Then her mother said, “So she's in prison, I expect?”
“She's working for the GJ. We just made the deal a couple of hours ago with Dr. Director” Kim said without looking up.
“Wow. She must've impressed the Director. So she's a white-hat now? A good-guy?”
“Looks like” Kim answered, not sure where her mother was going with all this.
Mrs. Possible looked over at her daughter. “You're sure about all this?”, she asked seriously.
“Yes, Mom,” Kim's voice sounded resigned, “I'm sure about all this.”
Another long silence ensued. Eventually, Mrs. Possible got up and resumed her salad preparations.
“Well, you'd better bring her to dinner, then. Tomorrow?”
Huh? Is that it? Kim thought, she asks “Are you sure?”, I say “yes”, and it's all over?
Kim looked over at her mother, finally understanding that it was, in fact, going to be “alright”. “You mean it? Here? Dinner?”
“Of course.”
Bringing Shego, my lesbian lover – well, almost – over to meet my Mom? I'm sorry, that's too weird. No way. Unless…
“Uhm… can Ron and Josh come, too?” Kim asked.
It was not something Mrs. Possible had expected her daughter to say, but hey, she'd learned to expect the unexpected from her daughter. Boy, had she. “If you like. Four of you then?”
“Yeah” Kim answered. “Uh, and I think you'd better get used to that. The ‘four’ of us, I mean.”
“I'm rather surprised about you inviting Josh, though… I thought you two… uh…” then she got it. Kim and Shego, not Ron. Ron and Josh, not Kim. “… ahem, never mind. Okay, the four of you, then. Tacos?” My GAWD!thought Mrs. Possible, horrified, was THAT a Freudian slip or WHAT?
“No! No tacos! Please, Mom, nothing that ends in ‘oh'!” Kim cried, luckily missing the allusion.
“Settle down, Kimmie. Steak on the grill, then. Is that okay?”
Kim got off her stool and hugged her mother, suddenly overcome with emotion. “You're the best Mom, Mom…”
And patting her daughter on the back, Mrs. Possible responded simply, “Yes. I know.” I can't BELIEVE I said “Tacos”. She grinned.
This is Bonnie. You know what to do. BEEEP
Uh, Bonnie? This is Kim. Uhm… I'm a lesbian. Pass it on. Probably didn't need to say that… Uh… bye.
Click
Once inside the door of the apartment, Ron gave Josh a proper “Welcome Home” kiss; long, breathless, and eyes closed. In their embrace, they could feel each other begin to stiffen. Josh pulled away to look at Ron slyly, “We have time, y'know.”
“I know. But…” Ron wasn't sure if it would sound silly or not, “… well, they haven't even had one chance yet. I feel kind of bad about it. I don't suppose… you could come over to my house, tonight?”
“Bad Idea, Ace. Wait… you mean they've never…”
“No. They haven't had the chance!” Ron replied, and Josh could see that he was deeply concerned about the other couple. Gawd, Ron, you really are SO sweet!
“You think they're ready?” Josh asked.
“Shego's been ready for years, waiting on Kim. And Kim… well, she's only been ready for maybe one day, but… I think she's going to explode if it doesn't happen soon. And your parents are home, so your place is out…” Ron returned to the original problem.
“So out. Look, we'll just all stay here again. The girls can have the bedroom, we'll take the den. Or ‘living-room’. Whatever room this is. What's wrong with that?”
“Well… what's wrong with that is… you're kind of… loud, sometimes, Skeeter” Ron told him.
“Oh, you're one to talk!”
“I am? I mean… I am?” Ron asked, shyly.
“You are. Ace.”, and Josh pecked him on the cheek. “But so what. I've lived with sisters, before they went off to college. Trust me, they'll be louder. It'll be okay. Besides… it's weird, I know, but I kind of have the feeling like… we're all in this together, if ya know what I mean. Might as well get used to each other.”
Ron thought about it. It could end up so embarrassing… but Josh was right. So what? Because he felt it too, they were all “in it” together. “So, wait ‘till tonight?”
“You're the Ace, Ace.” They broke apart and Josh went over to check out papers scattered across the kitchen(ette) table. “Wow” he said, looking over Ron's work.
Ron felt a little rush of pride at the wow. It wasn't often he got to impress Josh with his mental skills, and he eagerly stepped over to explain what he'd done. But before he got there, Josh again said:
“Wow…” He looked over at Ron, who was obviously dying to explain, “You really do suck at this. You weren't kidding!”
Ron was absolutely crestfallen, having gone from so high to so low, and so fast. Josh could see the hurt in his eyes. I went too far, he thought. He went over to Ron and embraced him again.
“I'm just yanking your chain, Ron. I'm sorry. I can see you were trying hard… really.” He lifted his boyfriend's chin to kiss him lightly, but afterward Ron looked down again. “C'mon, Ace. I'll make it up to ya tonight. Promise. Or if ya want, tomorrow we can go to the gym and you can kick my ass, as usual.”
Ron finally looked up into Josh's eyes. He smiled, “That'd be nice. Skeeter” he said.
Sheaghen led Shego to Dr. Drakken's office. “He'll probably be in here by now, cowering behind his desk” she said, and then added, looking Shego in the face, “Look, I know I'm mean to him, but I still like the man, in a way. He did create me, after all. I owe him for that. Don't be too cruel, okay?”
Shego smiled. “I'll try to restrain myself. See you later, Sheaghen.”
“Ta, Princess.”
Oooh! I'm going to have to think of something to call her, too, Shego thought, otherwise she's going to be calling me ‘Princess’ forever! She opened Drakken's office door.
Which turned out to be more like a play-room than an “office”. Beside the desk were at least 4 different kinds of gaming consoles, an Aleinware PC with a 24” LCD monitor displaying Lara Croft's backside, and monstrous speakers in every corner. Drakken was indeed behind his desk, or at least, the top of his head was – he looked like a blue version of “Kilroy was here”.
“Shego! I… I can explain! Nothing happened between us! She is NOT ana-”
“-tomically correct, I know” Shego said, “In fact, she doesn't even have a belly-button. I think you should fix that.” She lit up her hands. “I really think she should have a belly-button.”
A muffled voice came from outside the office door as Sheaghen yelled “And nipples!”
“And nipples” Shego finished, smiling and putting out her plasma.
“Fine fine. Have you just come here to suggest improvements to my staff, or do you have other business… as you can see, I'm not in the crime business anymore, so perhaps you should be on your way. I don't think I can help you, whatever it is you want” Drakken was brave enough to say, finally sitting up in his chair.
Yup, that was Drakken alright. Shego felt a strange (to her) sense of… what could she call it… “visiting home after a long time away”. She relaxed. Relaxed fully for the first time since she'd come to GJ headquarters. This – and he – were her domain, a place where she knew the pecking-order and what she could – and couldn't – get away with.
“It's good to see you, Dr. D. Been a long time” she said summing it all up, and chuckling to herself. It was absurd that it would be “good to see” him, yet it was true.
Her civil tongue caught Drakken off-guard. He hadn't expected anything like that. It was the kindest thing she'd ever said to him. It must be a trick. He looked askance at her.
“What are you up to? Why are you here?” he asked cautiously. “And why are you dressed like Kim Possible?” he added, more curious now.
“Ah… it's a long story. Short version: I'm working for the GJ too, now. I'm here to get ‘outfitted', whatever that means. I was told to see ‘L', not knowing it stood for ‘Lipsky’.” She left out a small little detail – her new relationship with Kim – because, somehow, it just didn't seem right to mention it.
“You? You're…” it took awhile for all that to sink in. Nothing could have been more out of character for Shego than to be working for the GJ. He couldn't have been more surprised if she'd said she'd taken up synchronized swimming and needlepoint. He realized she couldn't be lying though, because it really was stranger than fiction.
In order to appear unshaken by such an earthquake, he put it off to the side in his mind, and yelled for his assistant. “Sheaghen!”
The drone had been waiting behind the door, listening. “You bellowed?”
“Sheaghen, go round up the usual agent accessories. Communicator, tracking tag… you know. The standard bag. Meet us in the fitting room.”
Sheaghen put on her emotionless, flat expression and said, “Yes, Master.”
“Ha ha. Very funny, Sheaghen. Now go” Drakken dismissed her with a wave of his hand, trying to keep from smiling. Shego was grinning at him, but he pretended not to notice.
“I assume you'll be wanting your usual suit? I could let you have a couple of Sheaghen's, if you're in a hurry…” he said as they stood to go to the “fitting room”. Then he stopped, and looked closely the raven-haired, green-skinned, ex-thief up and down, for the first time. “Um… have you… that is to say…”
Shego cut him off before he could find the words, “Like I said, it's a long story. I'm getting better, okay? My old measurements will be fine. I'll fill it out eventually.” Then something else occurred to her. “Wait. I want to make a little change… you have it on computer?”
“There's a terminal in the fitting-room, yes” Drakken replied.
“Then let's go” she said curtly, obviously thinking about something.
The wound their way to the fitting-room. By the time they got there, Sheaghen was already waiting with a knapsack of goodies.
Drakken sat down behind a terminal and brought up a 3-D rendered version of Shego's green-and-black suit. “What changes did you have in mind?”
Shego sat next to him. “Uh, can I drive?” she asked, rather more nicely than Drakken would have expected. He slid the mouse over to her.
Shego drew a curved triangular slice – trying to follow the same style as the rest of the suit's pattern - at the upper left side of the chest. Then she pulled down the color-chooser, and mixed herself just the right shade of red to fill it with. She sat back. “There.”
“Red? You're adding a swath of red to your…” Drakken began, but stopped abruptly as realization dawned on him. That shade of red – she'd been very particular about it, mixing it herself like that… where had he seen that particular shade of red… Oh, yes… Drakken leaned back, putting his feet on the desk holding the terminal. He smiled broadly at Shego. It all fit: her turning herself in, her clothes, the red swath she suddenly wanted on her suit…
“So, Shego, old girl… You finally fell in love, did you? Finally made a pass. Or was it her, first?” he asked laughing inside.
“What? What are you talking about?” Shego stalled. He COULDN'T be guessing THAT. No WAY!
“Oh, come now. I'm just curious who broke the ice first, that's all. Was it you, or was it Miss Possible?”
Shego was dumbstruck, just as Kim had been.
“Well? Honestly, it was mean of you to leave that little detail out of your ‘short version of the story’. That's the piece that makes it all fit together!” Drakken was almost giggling.
“DID EVERYONE KNOW ABOUT THIS EXCEPT ME!”Shego finally screamed when she realize that Drakken had indeed, guessed - and wasn't even surprised.
“Calm down, Shego. I was your employer for a number of years. I notice things. I may be ‘mad', but I'm not ‘stupid’ ”, he chuckled. “C'mon now. Spill the beans.”
Shego took awhile to let the shock wear off. She glanced over at Sheaghen, who was looking at her quizically. “Who's ‘Miss Possible’?” Sheaghen asked.
“Never mind.” was all Shego could think to say on short notice. Wait. She has MY personality. Does that mean she… I mean, would that mean…Shego shuddered a little inside. I'd better keep Kim away from her, just in case.She looked back at Drakken.
“That, by itself, is a long story I don't care to repeat. Let's just say it was both of us, ok? And if you don't stop giggling, I'm going to give your face a matching scar on the other side. Got it? ‘Drak’?”
“Humph” Drakken frowned, “just trying to make a little light conversation. No need to jump down my throat about it.”
Shego sighed. “Let's just forget about it. Am I done here?”
“Yes. Your suits will be done by tomorrow afternoon. Three of them. I believe that's all -”, Drakken was interrupted by Sheaghen:
“Hey! What about my nipples! What about my belly-button!”
Shego smiled at the synth, “I'm sure you can find something suitable on the ‘Net. Some of the fakes of me are actually -”
“I don't want a ‘fake’. I told you, I pride myself on being an accurate representation of an actual person! We're going to need scans…” Sheaghen said.
“No fuckin’ way.”
Dr. Drakken said, “Shego's right. We can work from other images, there's no need to scan -”
“But… Oh, you damn humans! You don't understand anything! And you don't seem to care to, either!” Sheaghen was staring at the floor, dejected. Then she looked back up into Shego's face, “Please? Pretty-please?”, and made the Shego-version of “puppy-dog eyes” at her.
For Shego to hear herself say “Please”, let alone “pretty-please” shook her. But the puppy-dog eyes, on HER face, was another shock of a different order of magnitude. This must be REALLY important to her… Oh, what the hell.
“Okay okay. Don't make puppy-dog eyes at me. Ever. I mean it. In fact, I should slap you for burning that picture into my brain.” Shego looked back at Drakken. “But she's going to run the scanner, not you! Understand?”
Drakken replied somewhat uneasily, “Yes. Yes, I think that would be best… certainly… The scanner is behind that screen over there. I'll just take care of the digitizing from here. You do realize, I will have to see the images, don't you?”
“Yeah. But if I EVER find one on the ‘Net, you know what will happen!”,Shego lit up a single hand with hot plasma.
“You cut me, Shego. You really do. I thought we were beyond all that.” he sounded actually hurt.
Shego softened, just a little, and put out her fire. “Well… I'm just sayin', is all.” She sighed and walked over to the screen with Sheaghen. Once behind it, she sighed again, and removed her top and bra.
“I don't believe I'm doing this…” she said.
Sheaghen was excited about he prospect of acquiring decorations, as she thought of them, and wasn't listening. “Okay. Hold still and let me get a good scan… got it. Other one… Now the belly-button…” she aimed the scanning-laser lower, “Right. Okay, you can -”
Drakken said, “Uh, Shego. We're going to need two images, you know…”
“Doy” Shego said, “She already did that.”
“No. I mean, two sets of images, if you want to look at it that way.”
Shego looked over the screen at him suspiciously, “What for?”
Dr. Drakken answered carefully, “Well… uhm… let me put it this way: could you think… cold thoughts?”
Shego's head lowered behind the screen again, and she went back to stand on the ‘x’ taped to the floor. She sighed heavily, then she tweaked herself with her fingertips saying, “I do not BELIEVEI'm doing this!”