Under the circumstances, it was about the most stupid question Shego could have asked. There had been ONLY the two of them, for twenty-one years, apparently. But the irony didn't even occur to Kim.
“Yeah. To you, Doc.”
“Uhm…” Shego struggled to find a way around the idea of wedding, “You mean, like a church and gowns and a cake and…”
“Well, a cathedral. Holy Cross, in Boston. Don't ask me what we were doing in Boston… but yeah, dresses, music… you made a cake, and-”
“I made a cake?”
“Yeah. Three tiers an' everything! I handled-”
“What was on top of the cake?” It seemed important to Shego, but she couldn't imagine why.
“Uhm… well, y'know. Two brides…” Kim cleared her throat. Part of her kept waiting for the intense embarrassment and humiliation to set in – two girls – two women – getting married… but it never did. Where the hell was it, Kim wondered, Why can't anything go like I expect it to?
“Did we… exchange rings?”
“Yes, Shego, rings too. A wedding. We got married. Well, I know it wasn't legal or anything, but-”
For some reason, Shego was obsessed with random details - “Who… did I propose? Or-”
“I did.”
Shego considered: of course Kim had been the one to propose. Shego would never have done anything like that, even if she'd known Kim had wanted her to. I probably laughed in her face… oh god, I hope not. Apparently I went through with it, so maybe… Doy! I should've been the one to propose! A momentary – but deep – flash of shame engulfed her before she recovered herself enough to wonder WHAT THE HELL? she was thinking.
Kim thought Shego must be waiting for more, so she went on, “Really, it was kinna cheesy. I was a little embarrassed by the whole thing – even though, well, it was my idea. But you started to get into it and-”
“Red?”
“Uh… huh?”
“I think that's all I want to know.” Married. Me. I got into it. Shego could only imagine what that meant, but her imagination was accurate. She must have… loved, needed, wanted to be with, Kim. Forever. That would be the only way Shego would ever “get into” marriage. That scared her.
“Oh. Oh yeah. Uhm… oh! And you told me your real name, 'Kimberly Anne Van Gogh'. No relation.”
Saved! Shego put her fear of “wedding” away for the time being, concentrating on the lesser humiliation of having the same name as her arch-enemy. “… Oh, great. That's just great. You ever call me that and I'll… uh… Don't call me that, okay?” Arch-enemy? Or… wife…
“Okay. Doc.”
“You started using that after the operation.”
“I figured. When did you start calling me 'Red'? And… why?”
“I have no idea.”
“Oh. No big.”
“Uhm… do you happen to know what year it was when we – I mean, when they… uh…”
“Ten years. We – they - had been there for ten years.”
“Ah. So… where'd we go for the honeymoon?” Shego asked just to have something to say, and forgetting to say “they” again. She was still trying to accustom herself to the idea of being married. Period. To anyone. What “married” people did wasn't a problem for her.
But it was for Kim. She could deal with having married Shego. Apparently, Shego could be okay – more than “okay” - and the thought of loving Shego was something Kim could at least conceive. Besides, no one else had been there. And no one else saw, or knew.
But “honeymoon” implied sex, and that brought Kim back down to earth in a hard way. “Uh… I don't… last thing I remember is standing on the steps outside, and you telling me your name.”
“So you haven't had any memories where we-”
“Shego?” Kim cut her off quickly, “No, I haven't. I'd… uh… rather not talk about that…”
“You know it's probably-”
“Please Doc!”
After an awkward pause, Shego said only, “Yeah. Okay Red. Uhm… Kim, I mean.” It's still like that, is it Pumpkin… after all this.
Which brought only another, much longer, and much more awkward silence. Kim was trying hard to deal with what she knew must have happened. In fact, to ask Shego to marry her, she must have wanted it to happen! And badly! How could that be? There were no hints in the memory – or rather, the dream – that she'd wanted to sleep with Shego… shouldn't there have been something? How could she not have thought about it all that time? I mean, it's not like we'd done it so much that it wouldn't be a big deal anymore… Surely I would've thought about-
Unless… we HAD done it so much…
The only thing to do was retreat – It wasn't me. It wasn't us. It wasn't her. It wasn't me. It wasn't us…
Finally, the length of the silence began to worry Shego. She knew all about Kim's brand of homophobia… Dammit! I should never have mentioned… fuck. C'mon, Red… get over it. Please? (It's just CHANGE, Red… It'll all be okay. We'll still be together, whatever happens. Things will change, but what we have won't. It'll be okay…) A new part of her “dream” sprung unbidden from her mind, as if she'd just said it a few hours ago. Oh god Kim… how could we have known?
“Kim…”
“Uh… S-Shego, look, uh…”
Shego felt the pain in Kim's voice, and said the first thing she could think of that might make it at least a little better, “It wasn't us, Kim.”
“W-what?”
“It wasn't us. The things that happened to them… well, were to them. Not us. We… we're still the same. Right?” Shego had a great deal of experience saying things she didn't mean.
“Y-yeah. Right…” Kim agreed, but the feelings from the wedding wouldn't go away just because Shego had said that. To have a memory of love like that – and then say to herself “It wasn't me”… Well, dammit, she WANTED it to be her! She WANTED it to be them! She WANTED to… have that!
She needed that.
But.
“Shego… I… I just can't-”
“I know” Shego interrupted, so Kim wouldn't have to finish saying what she couldn't do. It was plain enough. I promised you it would be okay, Pumpkin. I… guess I was wrong…
“I'm sorry…”
“Maybe we should… say goodbye now, Kimmie. Cool off for awhile, y'know? It's been a big night, huh?”
“I don't want to say goodbye… Doc… can't we just-”
Shego didn't want to either, but there was nothing else to do, really. “No, Kim. I think… I think I'm hanging up now… we can talk more later, okay?”
“Shego…”
“Later Red” Shego said with finality, “Bye.” Shego put the phone gently back in it's cradle. Kim's words echoed in her head – can't we just what? Can't we just WHAT?
August:
Shego took an apartment outside of town under an assumed name. It was obvious she wasn't going to be able to work for Dr. Drakken anymore, so she just packed up and left while he was “away on business”. He didn't say what business. Dr. Drakken was beginning to spook her.
After moving in, it occurred to her that she wasn't really going to miss anything about life as The Thief. Learjets and lasers, death-rays and schemes, stealing and… even fighting Kim. It all began to seem like a depressing waste of time. There were important things beyond Taking Over the World. There were important things that would – she felt – bring her real joy, and now she had an idea just what “joy” actually was. There were Big Problems in her way – but time enough to think about that later. Kim needed time, anyway. Don't wanna rush this – wanna get it right the first time.
Kim weighed on her mind. Okay, so she loved Kim Possible. And she knew that Kim had loved her. Okay. It was nice that Kim loved her, but she still had trouble accepting how she felt about Kim… how she had felt about Kim. Back in the other world. Not in this one. It went further than “love” - it went all the way into “need”, but Shego would never admit to that. She didn't “need” anyone. Never had. Not since… well, sixth grade… She spent her nights thinking thousands of things that began with “if only”.
Kim tried not to think about Shego; it brought up too many problems. The love she felt for Shego – she could deal with that. To a certain extent, she loved her stuffed PandaRoo – loving people and things was not a new thing for Kim Possible. Neither was being loved. She knew her parents loved her. She knew Ron loved her – even if it was “only” platonic. Now Shego loved her too. And she loved Shego right back. Oh, but the difference… She'd married Shego! She'd… she'd probably slept with Shego! How was that going to fit into her Life Plan? Well, it obviously wasn't. At all. And besides, shoot, it wasn't even really her, or Shego, or them. It was someone else.
But – the nagging thought that she tried so hard not to think - “what if”?
On the full moon she had an un-threatening dream, and felt so relieved that she treated Ron to all-you-can-eat night at Bueno Nacho. They laughed and joked, and made fun of Wade and Dr. Director to hide their disappointment at not getting any calls from them. Kim giggled at Rufus's antics, and Ron was goofy as only Ron could be. Just like old times. It was good.
She'd dreamed about saving Shego from the dogs. Well, perhaps not “saving”, but calming her down, anyway. It was almost funny, how panicked Shego had been that time. Standing there facing the door, hands blazing, ready for anything from any direction. Kim had stepped in front of her – normally a very dangerous place to be at a time like that – and managed to calm her down. Afterward, Shego had been so… different. Taking orders from Kim about where to put things and how to stack them. It was kind of odd to see Shego in that light. Nice. Not fighting for the upper hand all the time – either verbally or physically. But most of all – non-threatening. Just… friends. Friends who could trust and count on each other. Friends with Shego. Yes, it was nice. Shego was okay, after all. You just had to get to know her awhile, that's all. If you could get the universe all to yourself, then so much the better.
Shego's dream, on the other hand, was… almost disturbingly erotic. It was Kim's 30th birthday, and something Shego knew she'd been planning for weeks, although she didn't remember doing the planning. Kim wore a freshly re-fitted Middleton High School cheerleader uniform, Shego a spare cat suit she'd retrieved from Drakken's lair. Gloves and all. They'd done some role-playing - sort of a “past glories” thing to remind them of old times - and eventually played out what those times might have been like if… well, if they'd been married.
It went on a long, long time, and at various speeds from languid to frenzied. They had both pretty much sampled the entire palette of activities they'd honed over the previous decade and even – to their mutual surprise – found a couple of new buttons to push.
After she awoke, Shego giggled as she changed the sheets. She kept thinking, Kim Possible… who'd a thunk it?
The one down-side to the dream was that apparently she had been unable to speak. She hadn't really noticed that from her dreams of the Rescue. She thought it probably had something to do with why she rubbed her throat from time to time. Probably some sort of accident, or maybe she'd caught a disease or something. Really, it was no big deal. It certainly hadn't put a damper on that night…
Good GAWD she was horny…
And no matter how often she did something about it, next day she'd find herself just as horny AGAIN! It was getting kind of hard to concentrate enough to make dinner. Driving was dangerous. Shego had never felt anything like this before… and if it weren't so enjoyable, it might have been frightening.
Awright, so apparently I'm bisexual. Leaning toward girls – or at least, toward ONE particular girl… she smiled to herself whenever she thought of that. Actually – what the hell – I'm a dyke. A lipstick lesbian. Seeing Kim in her uniform, who wouldn't be? She chuckled knowingly to herself. Yer still a classy man, Senor Senior – but ya just wouldn't do it for me in a short skirt…
Yes. The skirt. If only she could actually see Kim in the skirt… Hmmm. According to the newspaper, the high school football team – and the cheerleaders – would be practicing at the stadium on certain days next week. Shego marked her calendar.
And there she was – decked out in all the requisite cheerleader gear. Practicing her moves with the other girls. Yeah, some of those other girls were hot enough – that black babe looked like fun – but none compared to Kim. She had the moves. Shego watched her from under the Visitor's bleachers through binoculars as Kim kicked and jumped and twirled… the skirt alternately hugging and flying away from her thighs. It was nearly unbearable.
Then, after an hour, she saw Kim say something to the girl who was obviously her second-in-command, and walk off the field. Towards the bathrooms, Shego guessed.
Hey…
“Pumpkin…”
“Gah! Oh… Doc… geez you scared me. What are you doing here?”
“I came to see you, obviously… and I gotta tell ya, I like what I see…”
“Very funny Shego. You'd better get outta here before someone sees us. I mean… sees you.”
Shego only smiled at the thought. That might be fun, actually… one of the little cheerleaders finding them in the bathroom in a compromising position. Kim would probably blush. Like she didn't look hot enough already – that would just be, like, the last straw… Shego was having a hard enough time not pouncing on Kim as it was. She only hoped it didn't show. Much.
If it did though, Kim was oblivious. Even though she'd told Shego to go, in her heart she was glad the Thief was there. Shego's presence made her feel – good, comfortable, relaxed even, but Kim wasn't aware of these things. All she knew was that she was happy Shego was around. She continued brushing the grass seeds out of her hair - an occupational hazard of cheerleading. Kim wasn't even watching Shego in the mirror as the older girl came up behind her and put her arms around her waist.
“Doc… c'mon…”
Shego inhaled deeply as she buried her nose in Kim's hair, “I'm serious Red, you look really good in that outfit…” She smelled good, too. Shego pulled Kim's body against her own tightly. Felt good, too. Everything about her was good – even down to just the sound of her voice. Shego knew it would be, but the memory of the past paled compared to the senses of the present.
Alarm bells went off in Kim's head and she turned around, still inside Shego's arms, putting her hands on Shego shoulders to keep her at a distance. This was not the time. That was the only thing that bothered Kim about the way Shego was behaving, though - it wasn't the time. She was too busy fighting off other feelings to think about it beyond that. Shego felt good, too. And that look on Shego's face, in those clear green eyes, framed by all that jet-black hair… that look was unmistakable. Kim found herself turned on despite herself. She didn't know what to think about that – or anything else. It was as if what Shego was feeling was infecting her, shutting down her mind, taking over her body.
Despite Kim's feeble attempt to keep her at a distance, Shego moved in close to kiss her, and Kim barely managed to turn her head at the last second.
“Doc… Shego… don't. We… we agreed…”
Shego whispered directly into Kim's ear, “I wanna renegotiate…” and then began running her lips up and down Kim's neck, ear to throat and back again. She knew Kim liked that. She felt Kim begin to tremble, just as she'd expected.
Kim, of course, didn't know – but like it she did. Something like a warm shiver passed through her body, and her eyelids fluttered as she fought the urge to close them. She tried weakly to push Shego away.
“D-don't, Shego…” she said. Shego released Kim from her embrace and put her hands on Kim's hips instead, slowly raising them up her sides, under her top. Kim reflexively pushed herself into Shego's body, and Shego in turn pushed Kim against the wall.
It was all going too fast for Kim to sort out. Was this bad? Then why did it feel so good? Was this… what she wanted? Why wouldn't she want this? How could she not want this? She didn't know. All Kim knew was Shego – her hands rising up her body, her hair in her face, her nose just below Shego's ear… Wasn't this supposed to be… a bad thing?
Why?
As Shego's mouth came close to her lips, Kim closed her mouth tight, afraid of what the other girl might do.
Which was not a problem for Shego – she knew Kim's weaknesses, and she knew how to get her to open those clamped lips. Her hands were just below Kim's bra now, and Shego opened her mouth and exhaled gently, warmly, onto Kim's lips.
It always worked. It worked now.
Kim shut her eyes and opened her mouth and Shego took her greedily. Kim was helpless as Shego's tongue ran across her teeth. Meanwhile, Shego lifted Kim's bra – still under her top - above her breasts, and then cupped her gently. She felt Kim's hands squeeze her upper arms – still in pushing-off position – but not even trying to “push off”.
It went on for a long time, Shego sucking at Kim's mouth, Kim writhing against Shego's body. Eventually Shego pulled back to study Kim's face, gauging the results of her handiwork. Everything was going so well, Kim felt so good, and her reactions… well, that was what she needed to see. After a moment, Kim opened her eyes and looked into Shego's – then looked away.
“Shego… someone might see…”
“Let 'em get their own girls. Besides, can't a woman give her wife a kiss now and then?” Shego began gently massaging Kim's breasts, and pressed a thigh between her legs. She began to close the distance between their lips again.
“No… Doc. Please…” Kim whispered. She didn't so much want Shego to stop as she just needed time to think. To sort things out. To make decisions. The reason Kim couldn't do more to end the seduction was simply because she trusted Shego. The dream of comforting her after the wild dogs had shown her that. She didn't need to fear the other girl – Shego would stop if Kim told her to. She knew that. The question was: could she bring herself to say it? She turned her head again before Shego's lips touched hers, but felt her hot breath in her ear, which for Kim, was just as bad as a kiss – or just as good, depending on how one looked at it.
Shego was pressing Kim against the wall with her whole body now, and removed one hand from under Kim's sweater. It went up Kim's skirt, instead.
“Don't… No… Shego…”
For all her protesting, Kim nonetheless spread her legs slightly further apart. It was a strange sensation – like her mind and body were somehow disconnected. Almost as if Kim were observing herself from a distance, mildly alarmed by what was going on, but unable to stop her body from doing whatever it wanted. And oh, did her body want.
“Pumpkin” Shego whispered, “C'mon… like you said, 'why can't we just'… no one needs to know. Please Kimmie…” Shego removed her other hand from Kim's breast and proceeded to pull down Kim's shorts and panties under the uniform skirt. Kim instinctively arched her butt away from the wall to allow it. She could hear the desperation in Shego's voice, and wanted – desperately – to let Shego have her way. She trusted her that much. And… it was so good. But -
“Please stop…”
But Shego did not, and her mouth found Kim's for a second time. As their tongues played, Shego slid one her hand down the front of Kim's skirt, and down her soft bush, and down and down, her fingers deftly spreading Kim's folds, until her middle finger was poised just outside the opening of her sex. She could feel Kim's heat, and wetness, and Kim pressing herself against her hand. It seemed like Kim wanted this, but something told Shego to stop and make sure. Their lips parted again, and Shego whispered into Kim's ear, their cheeks pressed together -
“Do you want me to stop, Red?”
Kim didn't say anything, her panting breath the only sound Shego could hear.
For Kim, this was it – she knew what was coming, and a part of her wanted it more than anything in the world, at that moment. That other part of her… wasn't sure what it wanted. There must be SOME way this was bad – why couldn't she remember why? Or how? She shook her head imperceptibly – no.
Too imperceptibly for Shego to feel.
“Yes or no, Pumpkin – do you want me to stop…”
Summoning more courage than she knew she had, Kim whispered, “No.”
They kissed again as Shego slipped inside her. Surrender.
The taste of Kim, the feel of Kim, the… knowledge of Kim – Shego was in almost as much ecstasy as Kim herself. Almost.
“Doc… Doc… ah… AH! Shego! I love you! AH! She- SHEGO!”
Those three words, I love you, cut through Shego's hyper-erotic mood like knife. Shego had been all about sex. Love hadn't entered into it. Even in her dream, love had only been antecedent – not the most important thing. The dream had been almost pure erotic sex. The kind of purity that's only achieved by partners in love – but not an expression of it. Her mood chilled instantly as Shego wondered, What have I done?
As Kim came down from her orgasm, Shego removed her hand from between Kim's legs, and put them back on the girl's hips, awkwardly, not sure what she was supposed to do now. The words kept echoing in her mind – love me? You love me? LOVE me? Shego remembered what it was like to have “loved” Kim. But this was now, the present, this world. It was different. LOVE me? Shego stepped backwards, opening up space between their bodies. A signal that it was over.
Kim felt that signal, and with it, all the things she'd feared about the experience rose in her mind. But of course, it was too late now. She opened her eyes – not looking at Shego – and began trying to straighten out her clothes. Pulling her bra down into place, her underwear and shorts up. She could feel Shego staring at her as she did so. It was embarrassing. Kim didn't remember telling Shego that she loved her. All she knew was that Shego had… fucked her.
“Kim…” Shego began, not really knowing what she was going to say, but knowing that she had to say something…
“You'd better go, Doc.”
Go? “Listen, Kimmie, I-”
“Just go, okay? You… you don't want anyone to find you here.”
After all that, to just go? Nothing said? Nothing… cleared up? Hadn't… hadn't they just shared something? Hadn't Kim said she loved her? And now just go!
“I-” Shego would have said love you too.
“Would you PLEASE GET OUT OF HERE, SHEGO?” Kim shouted, finally looking her in the eye, challenging.
Shego removed her hands from Kim and hung them uselessly at her sides, too stunned now to think. What had happened here? Did something change? What did I get wrong?
“Go… go find someone else to rape. Leave me alone” Kim said, casting her eyes down and pretending to straighten her skirt. She could still feel the heat and wetness between her legs. Shego had done that to her. A woman. And Kim had… been unable to stop her. A secret, hidden part of herself had even wanted Shego to do that – the part of herself that she was ashamed of, that she wanted to ignore, to pretend wasn't there at all. The part that ruined everything – all her plans, all her aspirations, all her hopes for the life Kim was sure she wanted to have. Shego had worked that part, played Kim like a fiddle. Used her.
Shego slowly backed away, bewildered, thinkingRape? You… think I raped you? You think I WOULD rape you? That I COULD? Kim -
In her mind abused, used, and perverted by the woman in front of her, but confused about exactly how – Kim screamed at her tormentor, “GO AWAY! JUST GO AWAY!”
Nothing left to say, Shego turned her back and left Kim standing there. She didn't know what else to do, but couldn't take Kim – her wife, her lover – screaming at her in what sure sounded like hatred. She had to go.
Outside the stadium bathroom, the real world asserted itself in her mind. It would be bad if she were caught there. She had no hovercraft to escape with this time. If she were to get involved with a car-chase… well, no one can outrun radio. A foot-chase would be little better. She needed to leave, and leave now. To hell with Kim. Stupid… girl. Just like the enemy she remembered, from what seemed like so long ago. Dumb teenage -
Teenage?
Oh my god… she IS a teenager! What is she… 16? 17? FUCK! The Kim in Shego's wet dream had been an adult woman of thirty. The girl she'd just… whatever, was a kid of maybe 17. I am SUCH an idiot! Doy! Shego shook her head and cursed herself as she stealthily made her way back to the car. What a MORON!
After Shego left the bathroom, Kim managed to compose herself, at least a little. She re-inspected her clothing to make sure that everything was still in place, in case one of the other cheeerleaders were to come in while she was there. She need to make sure that nothing showed, that there was no evidence that she'd just had sex with a woman. She felt like it showed everywhere, somehow, like if someone came in they'd instantly know everything that had happened.
She went over to the sinks and washed her face, then looked at herself in the mirror.
A lesbian looked back at her. Some gay girl that Kim didn't know. A girl that enjoyed being… screwed… by other girls. That girl in the mirror couldn't be her… Kim Possible wasn't like that. Kim Possible – the Girl Who Could Do Anything – was absolutely, positively NOT GAY! “Gay” was for weirdos and perverts. “Gay” was for dirty people.
Kim's hair was a nightmare, she found her brush and began trying to straighten it out, something to do while her mind roiled.
I did NOT “have sex” with Shego! I'm not “gay”! It was… it was just… “heavy petting”, is all. Y'know, like… experimenting. Lots of girls do that. It's just a phase. And… and now that I've done it, I know for sure that… that… that I don't… like…
So, was she to start lying to herself now, too? Why not – she'd lied to Ron, to Dr. Director, she'd lied by omission to her parents… and she was going to continue lying, for that matter, to anyone she met. About this. Just about this one thing. She did “like” what Shego had done. She'd “liked” everything about it. A lot. A whole lot… And it wasn't just “heavy petting”, it wasn't “mutual masturbation” - she'd had SEX with Shego. Shego had had SEX with her. Didn't matter how she tried to rationalize it – that had been sex. And… it had been… wonderful.
She sighed at her reflection in the mirror. Yeah, that was her, all right. That lesbian in the mirror was Kim. She could feel it, and no doubt everyone else would be able to see it right away… Fuck. Just… fuck. Now what do I do? They're waiting for me out there… What do I do? WHAT am I going to do? I can't just-
“Hey Kim! You fall in or something? We're waiting on you for the pyramid!” Tara, the blonde member of the squad, said as she came into the bathroom, “Whoa! What happened to you?”
“Uh…” Can she tell? Did I miss something? Does it really show? Oh my god…
“Is it your cycle or something? 'Cuz we can practice without you, if you need to go home…”
“Yeah!” Kim seized the idea, “Yeah… some bad cramps is all… it's okay now, I took something for it. Uh… I was just getting the grass outta my hair. Yeah. Let's go.”
“'Kay. If you're sure, Kim, 'cuz-”
“I'm sure Tara. C'mon.”
A week later:
Dr. Director was not having a good day, and it had barely started yet. First, the alarm clock didn't go off - so she was already late - and hadn't had breakfast. Mr. Dr. Director was still on the other side of the world in Australia helping to draft an Aboriginal Rights bill. And to top all that off – the office coffee mess was out of sugar, so she'd been forced to stir Sweet'n'Low into her cherished morning cup of java. Not a good day at all. She kicked open the door of her office grumbling.
“About time. I was afraid you'd gone on vacation or something” Shego said from the couch at the near end of the room.
Dr. Director froze as her mind shifted gears. She stalled for time with, “Shego…”
“Yeah. No need to sound the alarm or anything, Betty. I came here to give myself up. I know what you're going to say, but… I kind of… I want to make a deal.”
That was all the time the Director needed, “You want to make a deal with Global Justice?”
“I want to make a deal with you, Betty.”
The Director went to desk and sat behind it, setting her coffee down as if the Most Dangerous Woman in the World met her every morning over tea and scones. “You must realize that it's even less likely that you'll get what you want from me than from the GJ as a whole.”
“I have to start somewhere” Shego said with an air of resignation.
“You have my attention, Ms. Van Gogh.”
“I want… I mean, I'd like to do no more than five years of time. I'm willing to give you anything you want in return.”
Dr. Director worked hard to stifle her chuckle, “Five years? Is that all… Shego, even if I had the power to do that – which I don't – I wouldn't. And it's not just the GJ, you know. There are ten other countries - all with extradition treaties - lined up to get their hands on you.”
“Let's talk about it. I have time.”
“Would you still have time if I said you're more likely to do twenty years?”
“Yes” Shego answered without hesitation. Which caught Dr. Director completely by surprise.
“You… you would?”
“Yes.”
The Director digested this information while she sipped her coffee, frowning at the bitter after-taste of the artificial sweetener.
“Then let's get down to business, Shego. The first point of order is: you know that no jail can hold you if you choose to escape. So I am going to need to know why you'll be volunteering – as it were – to spend two decades behind bars. I'm not going to waste my time incarcerating you just to have you escape when you get bored.”
Shego had hoped she could avoid this – or at least delay it until the last minute. That might have given her time to think of something plausible, because she had yet to think of an excuse that the Director might buy. As it was, she was trapped. She had enough experience with this woman to know that lying was simply not an option – especially if one was trying to get on her good side. So-
“I can't tell you that.”
“Shego…”
“I'm being as frank as I can, Betty. I honestly can't tell you. But as long as we're being honest with each other – I don't think I would do twenty years, even if I were sentenced to it. I think you'd probably find things for me to do, and my sentence would be shortened. I won't even try to guess how much, but I'm pretty sure you'd make good use of me. From your point of view, it'd be a waste to have me sitting in a cell somewhere – of my own accord, as you said – when you could be taking advantage of my… need… for a shorter sentence. That sound about right?”
Betty smiled, “I always did like you, Kimberly.”
While that was true, the Director had said it for its shock value, and noted with satisfaction Shego's look of confusion.
“I'll find out eventually, you know” the Director said.
“I'll take my chances. But yeah, you probably will.”
“I see. Well, let's talk about what I want then -”
“One more thing…” Shego said nervously.
“I do not take kindly to games, Ms. Van Gogh…”
“I know, Be – Dr. Director, I mean. Uh… I'm only asking because… well, I really can't help it. I'd just like my capture… to be a secret. As much as possible, I mean. No news conferences or headlines or anything. See, I just wanna… sort of disappear, and wipe my slate clean, and wait. That's all I really want.”
“No guarantees. You know that.”
“I know that. I guess I'm just asking for a favor…”
“And if I flatly refuse and call the press right now?”
“I'll deal. I don't suppose my saying 'please' would help at all…”
Dr. Director studied Shego's face for a long moment. The Thief was dead serious. Serious about everything, including the somewhat pathetic 'please'. Whatever was going on with her, it was bigger than stealing and schemes and villain employment. Shego was speaking from the heart, which as far as the Director knew, was a first for her. Rather the same way Kim's lying had been a first…
“I'll have someone escort you to a holding cell while I make a list of the things I want, Shego. After that, perhaps we'll find better accommodations for you – here at the compound, of course.”
“Okay.”
Betty regarded her again. A simple 'okay'? My my… this WAS serious… She punched a button on her intercom - “Julia? Would you send Agent Du up here, please? Escort duty to the holding area.”
Will walked stiffly behind and to the side of Shego down the long quiet hallways, pointing his gun – not taser, but gun – directly at her back. Sweat beaded on his forehead. Shego had been captured? And he was escorting her – alone! - to the holding cell? He had an inevitable feeling that he must be missing something.
At the middle of an intersecting hallway, he commanded “Stop! Now… right face… I mean, 'turn to the right'. Okay. Good. Now… uh… go.” Those were the first words he'd said so far.
“It okay if I breathe?” Shego asked.
Will didn't answer, partly out of fear he might stutter.
“Will Du, is it? That sounds familiar. I think I've heard of you a few times…”
“Agent First Class Du. Yes. I've been on your trail… a few times, Shego. Ms. Van Gogh, I mean…”
“'Shego' is good” she said, “and I'll call you Will. Apparently we're going to get to know each other, what with you checking up on me three times a day, like Betty said.”
“Yes. Apparently. Stop! Right turn again. Uh… go.”
“Lighten up, Secret Agent Man. I turned myself in, y'know. It's not like I'm looking for escape routes. Yet.”
“You… turned yourself in?” Well, that was a relief. It would have been even more unbearable if someone else had captured her.
“Yeah. I know – weird, huh? Just don't ask me why. I have my reasons.”
“Uh… okay… Here's your cell” he shouted behind him “Number 7! Open up!” and he electric door slid open. Shego stepped in, and Will finally holstered his firearm. “Number 7! Close it up!”
“Kinda spartan…” Shego observed. A bunk, a toilet, a desk, a chair. No window.
“It's just a holding cell” Wil said almost apologetically, “The habitation cells are better… Uhm… lunch will be at 12:30. I'll bring it…” He remained standing outside the bars awkwardly, staring at her as she examined the tiny cell.
Finally she looked at him standing there, and he glanced away embarrassed. “Something I can help you with, Will?”
“I would have gotten you next time. It would have been my eighth.”
“Sorry I ruined it for ya.”
“That green neon sign… that was a good one…” Wil said.
“That was you?”
“Yes. That sign will never bother anyone again, I'll have you know.”
Shego smiled at him, “Wasn't planned. I just got lucky that time.”
“And the time with the mutant killer rabbits?”
“Oh. That was an accident, actually. Damn things were fast, weren't they? You weren't my biggest problem, on that one.”
“What about-”
“Listen, Wil… I'd love to sit and chat, but it's been a big day for me – and I imagine Betty will want to talk to me again pretty soon. Kinna takes it out of ya, being interviewed by her, y'know? Can we talk later?”
“Oh… oh yes, sorry. It's just a shock to see you here behind bars, finally. I always thought… that it would be more of an event, getting you here. Something big.”
“It was something big” Shego sighed, “maybe I'll tell ya about it someday. But not today.”
Wil shuffled his feet self-consciously, “Well… is there… would you like me to bring you something… to read maybe, when I come back with lunch?”
“Surprise me.”
“Yes… I'll do that” he replied sheepishly, “Well… goodbye then, She – Ms Van Gogh.”
“Later on, Secret Agent Man.”
Meanwhile:
Kim felt that she had just one more chance at saving her life – as she knew it. It could work. She just needed Ron to… well, be a boy, for a change. Not her Best Friend Since Pre-K. Just a boy. Surely he was up to that. She would lead the way and all he would have to do – well, ought to come naturally.
She still had the condom they gave all the girls in sex-ed class, in 7th grade. Might as well get some use out of it - and the perfect opportunity presented itself, too. Her parents were taking the Tweebs to the state science fair. They'd be gone a whole day and night. Kim would have the house to herself. She could do this. She was going to be a senior next year… most of the girls already had done this. As far as the boys… well, she had no idea, and as far as Ron – well he'd damn well better not have. So it was about time, anyway. Heh. “Lesbian Kim”, huh… We'll just see about that!
She invited him over to watch wrestling on tv. She wore a sweater on top – something she could get off in a hurry. A skirt below – ditto. Matching pink bra and panties. Feminine without being too obvious about it. Hair, perfume, buffed nails… mascara? Uhm… no. Well, maybe a little lash thickener. That wouldn't hurt. And lip gloss. Yeah. Good. Ready.
Now all she had to do was seduce him. Somehow. Y'know… “wrestling” was probably a bad idea. He liked wrestling. It would be hard to take his attention off the tv. But she'd already told him… Well, so she changed her mind. Maybe he'd get the hint. Wasn't she giving him enough clues already?
Ron, naturally, was clueless. After an hour of Shakespeare in Love, he hadn't even put his arm around her. He actually seemed to be enjoying the movie, for god's sake… Boys aren't supposed to like that stuff – everyone told her so. When she'd leaned over against him, he merely transferred the popcorn bowl to her lap from his. Does he think I want more popcorn? Come ON Ron!
Kim made her move, kissing Ron on the mouth – a long one. She backed off for a status check to find him expectedly surprised, then rolled over straddling him, and put both arms around his head. She kissed him again, tongue-to-tongue. Finally he began – to Kim's relief – to put his arms around her… but no, he was only putting both hands on her shoulders. She felt him push gently.
Fuck that, Ron… She let him push her away, but before he could say whatever he was going to, she'd whipped off her sweater. That took care of that – the look in his eyes said it all. She closed on him again, happy that everything was going so smoothly. This wasn't so hard to do… so not the drama. A part of Kim's mind wondered how she could be so… technical about it. But no matter, the Plan was falling into place, her life as she'd always dreamed it would be could be saved. Besides, kissing Ron was “okay”, pretty much. This was kind of fun. Sort of.
Time to lose the skirt… She let him go and slowly stood in front of him, watching his eyes as she pulled it down and daintily stepped out.
“KP…”
That was all she let him say before settling back down onto him again. Another kiss and she could start pulling his shirt off. C'mon Ron… just be a boy. This is your big chance… don't blow it. I need you to be a regular guy, for a change…
But no. He pushed her away and held her at arm's length this time.
“Kim… don't.”
“So not the time to be shy Ron…” Kim said, hoping it sounded reassuring and coquettish at the same time.
“I'm not being shy. I… KP… This isn't… I don't…” Ron said, struggling to find the right words. Finally, he took a deep breath and just spit it out, “I can't do this with you.”
That sounded final. Awfully final…
“Whaddaya mean 'can't do this with me'?”
“I just… Kim… okay, I know this sounds stupid – but - I like you too much.”
He was right. It did sound stupid. “You like me too-”
“I can't think of you… like that, Kim. I know how it sounds, and I'm… sorry. I have tried… I mean, I used to think that we'd… y'know… be boyfriend-girlfriend… an' stuff, but…” he trailed off.
“'But' what?”
“But I can't Kim. It'd just be, y'know, sick and wrong, somehow. I don't know… it's like you're my sister or something. I'm sorry. I'm such a dork…”
Yeah, you kinna are. And I kinna love that about you… but - “Ronnie… I really want to do this…”
He looked aside, avoiding her eyes, “I'm sorry Kim. I hope you don't think… It's me, okay? Nothing to do with you. Any guy'd be crazy to… to do what I'm doing. I'm serious, Kim, I can't think of you that way, is all…”
Kim sat back on his knees, defeated. It wasn't going to happen with Ron, then. And she couldn't imagine who it could happen with, if not Ron. She didn't want to even try with any other boy… ick. At least Ron had been… unobjectionable. Yeah, I should tell him that. “You were the least icky choice, Ron”. Oh gawd… I'm SUCH a bitch…
“I'm sorry too. Ron… I was just… I guess I… I wanted to prove something to myself. I thought you might – I mean, that we – I mean-”
“Kim? What's going on? I know you weren't doing this because you wanted to…”
“You do?”
“Uh, well… yeah. Even I could tell something was wrong.”
Kim thought about that awhile. He felt something was wrong? Wait a minute… “Uh, Ron? You're not… gay or anything are you?”
“No, Kim.”
“You sure? 'Cuz it'd be okay if-”
“I'm not gay, Kim. I'd tell you if I was, wouldn't I? Haven't we always told each other everything? It's freaked me out a few times.”
“Yeah, we have. Uhm… what freaked you out?”
“Well… like when you had your first period and you wanted to show me.”
Kim giggled, “Well, y'know, I was proud of it! Finally becoming a woman an' all… I wasn't going to show you…” She erupted into giggles again, and covered her mouth, “Well, I was just gonna prove it to ya, is all. Sorry. I guess it was a little weird. You told me when you started ejaculating, though…”
“KIM! I only told you that because you kept ASKING me! 'Did it happen yet? Did anything come out? Didja do it?' Geez. Talk about pressure!”
“Yeah, well… I use ta think… well, y'know, that we'd get married an – y'know…”
Ron sighed deeply, “So did I. It was still weird, though.”
That conversation ended, giving way to awkward silence on Ron's part, and deep contemplation on Kim's. She was still straddling his lap in her underwear, after all. She didn't even seem to care, now.
“So… we're still Best Friends for Life, right, KP?”
“I guess so, Ron. I guess that's all we'll ever be…”
“Uhm… I don't think that's such a bad deal, actually…”
“I didn't mean it to sound like that. It's just… I was thinking about something else.”
“Kim… could ya put yer clothes back on now?”
Why? What difference does it make? I'm – I have been – I am? married to a woman anyway. Gawd. I'm a dyke. SO obvious.
“So… uh… y'know how I asked if you were gay?” Kim said, trying to find a way around being blatant.
“Yeah… and I said I wasn't. It's not-”
“What if I was…”
“What if you were gay?”
“Yeah.”
“Uhm… That'd be… uh… that'd be weird, KP.”
“Weird? Would it be… a problem?” Kim ask hesitantly. There HAS to be a better way to feel someone out about this… Gah!
Ron answered a little too fast, “Oh no! Not a problem! Some… some of my best friends are gay…”
Kim looked at him from the corners of her eyes. His goofiness was getting the better of her. Again. “I can't believe you just said that. Like who, for instance, hmm?”
Cornered in a not-quite-truth, Ron confessed, “Okay, you got me. But I do know one: Tara.”
“T – OUR 'Tara'? Blond, cheerleader Tara?”
“That'd be the only 'Tara' in school…”
“Tara's a les- I mean, gay?”
“It's not like a secret, KP. She may not wear the t-shirt or hat or anything, but she's not hiding it. She told me at the Snowman Hank convention – you know, the one you didn't want to go to? I sorta offered to buy her lunch – I guess she thought I was asking her for a date – and she told me.”
“And what'd you say?”
“Well… I think I said 'Ah'… but I took her to lunch anyway. Dutch. She turned out to be pretty cool, except for her stupid idea that there were 74 episodes when everyone knows that there were 75. But she won't listen to reason! She keeps saying the Pilot was produced as ONE part, when everyone knows it was SHOWN as a two-parter, and so obviously-”
“Ron?”
“Uh… yeah?”
“Got geek?”
“Oh. Uh… sorry. So… seriously, Kim. You're a lesbian?”
Now Kim took the heavy sigh, “I don't know. Maybe. I don't think I used to be… but now… I don't know. Probably. For sure I have been…”
“'Have been'?”
“It's a long story…”
“Oh. Okay.”
“It all started when-”
“KP? Could ya at least put yer shirt back on?”
“I thought you 'couldn't think of me that way'… And besides, turns out I'm a lesbian. What's the problem?” Odd. She could actually joke about it – as long as it was with him. What kind of twisted deal was that? What was this weird power Ron had to make her feel better – about anything? Suddenly, she saw Ron in a new light – and understood that “Best Friends for Life” wasn't a step down from “Lovers”. It was only different.