The Silence

Chapter 9

Somewhere I Belong


1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16

TITLE: Somewhere I Belong

AUTHOR: beeftony

DISCLAIMER: Kim Possible, Ron Stoppable, and all related characters are the property of the Disney Company. I own this work of fiction. I make no profit from this.

SUMMARY: Shego helps Kim to solve a murder case, but they soon find themselves attracted to each other. They try to hold on to their relationship, but forces far greater than themselves conspire to tear them apart.

TYPE: Kim/Shego

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Note: Somewhere I Belong is performed by Linkin Park. I don’t usually leave beginning notes, but seeing how long this chapter is I figured some introduction was required. This chapter has a bit of everything: action, psychodrama, smuff, humor, and even references to generic slasher flicks. It’s really long, but that’s because I had a lot to accomplish. This took me three whole evenings to pound out. I have expanded the second act to include three more chapters, then I’ll get started on Act 3. This is the beginning of a sequence of three song chapters. The other two will be relatively short, but the reason that this is so long is because I had to introduce conflict and I only had so many chapters to do it in. It’s funny; for a song that only lasts 3 minutes 33 seconds I have a chapter that’s over 9,000 words (which effectively nullifies KiY’s argument that I let songs restrict me). I’m really investing a lot in this story. So without further adieu, I present to you the fruits of my labors. Enjoy.

Words: 9135

Short is the joy that guilty pleasure brings. -Euripides

Shego opened her eyes to find herself in a vat of liquid. It wasn’t water. It was something else. The viscosity was the same, but there was something amiss. Her face barely floated above the surface of the mysterious lime-green liquid that held her captive.

She was on some sort of operating table, being dissected like an animal. Or at least she was about to be. A shadow approached her in the darkness. The lights shining directly above Shego were too bright to allow her to see anything more than a silhouette. The shadow did not seem human, even though the outline suggested that she most clearly was. But it was only an outline. The figure was like a spectre, haunting Shego as it gazed dispassionately upon her naked form.

Shego struggled to break the bonds that held her tightly against the table. But it was futile. She was going to be cut open and taken apart piece by piece, organ by organ all while completely conscious. She recalled the famous scene from Braveheartwhere William Wallace had suffered the same fate. She would not cry for freedom and die a martyr. She would become free and set an example.

“You are no longer necessary,” the ghostly shadow spoke ominously. “You are only meant for one more thing. Hopefully the next candidate for Operation SUPERSTAR will be more successful. Your sacrifice will never be forgotten.” The words were cold and unfeeling. Shego felt like a lab rat caught in a trap. She continued to struggle against her restraints to no avail. The liquid was somehow designed to disable her glow powers, so that was out of the question as well. If she could just get her hands above the liquid…

Even if it were physically possible to do so, Shego was certainly in no shape to perform such a feat. She had been beaten and tortured over the past few days for reasons known only to those who had done this to her. Now the reason was perfectly clear: she was a failed experiment.

Even though her body had given up, Shego’s mind still raged with unbridled fury. How dare they take away her humanity! How dare they treat her like an animal! She would escape before they made the first incision. She just had to get her hands far enough out of the liquid to activate her glow powers, and she would be able to break free.

“Make sure she stays alive until we’ve gotten what we need,” the shadow said to another. “Then do with her as you please.” The figure exited through an airlock at the end of the room.

One of the other shadows grabbed a saw that would be used to make the incision in Shego’s tougher-than-normal skin. She thrashed violently in an attempt to break free as the instrument came closer. The doctor seemed to be dragging it out to allow the fear to overtake her. But it was not fear that occupied the green woman’s mind. No, it was rage. Rage at what they had done to her. Rage at how they had imprisoned her like an animal and stripped her of her humanity and everything else. But most of all, it was rage at being betrayed by those with whom she had entrusted her life. As the rotary saw edged closer, her survival instincts kicked in and her adrenaline-powered arms broke the chains that held her without even needing to use her powers. Shego leapt from the tub and ignited her hands, burrowing them deep into the chest of the one who had tried to disembowel her. She made quick work of the other mad doctors as well.

The woman who had been speaking to her earlier suddenly appeared on a giant television screen that illuminated the dark room. She had short brown hair and an eye patch over her left eye. She opened her mouth and spoke two words:

“Get her!”

Agents swarmed in from all directions, but they were no match for the super-powered woman whose nudity actually gave her the advantage of increased mobility, in addition to providing an ample distraction. The agents raised their laser rifles to fire, but she took out half their stock with a wide shot of her plasma. She destroyed the rest of the still unfired laser rifles and stood in the center of the agents who encircled her with a vengeful look in her eye that held an animalistic edge. Shego grinned devilishly as she eyed them hungrily like prey.

Making a sudden leap, she took down three agents in a single swipe. The other agents began to move in response, and Shego lashed out with a devastating spin kick as she turned around, knocking them into each other like bowling pins. She slashed, punched, kicked, bit, and scratched, and soon there were no agents left conscious in the room. She stood proudly on a pile of her conquered foes.

More agents came pouring in, and rather than fight them Shego simply made a mad dash for the rapidly closing airlock. She made a sudden dive to avoid the hail of laser fire and slid backwards under the door, raising her middle finger at them the entire time. The door closed and she ran off through another door out into the bitter cold.

Shego sat up in her bed with a gasp, her eyes wide open in panic. Her body was covered in sweat. Her breathing was shallow and accelerated. Her heart threatened to leap from her chest. Using breathing techniques afforded by years of martial arts training, Shego calmed herself down.

She looked at the alarm clock to her left. “2:00” it read. Shego let out a tired groan and rubbed her eyes. The details of her dream were already slipping away, but she remembered what it was about. That was what she didn’t want Kim to have to find out.

Kim. Shego looked down to her right and saw the redhead sleeping, blissfully unaware of the terrors that haunted Shego’s past. Shego smiled as she thought of the younger woman’s relative innocence. Kim always had a tendency to see the world in terms of black and white. That had of course changed in recent years. It was during those years of the former teen hero’s youthful idealism that Kim and Shego would never have fallen for each other. But now that was different.

Even though she had slept with both men and women, Shego never dreamed in a million years that she’d be having an affair with her former arch-enemy. They really had hated each other back then. Kim hated Shego for being evil, Shego just didn’t like the cheerleader’s bossiness and general misunderstanding of the concept of shades of gray. But people change.

Kim reminded Shego so much of herself when she was younger. Her spunk, fiery temper, and passion for what she did made Shego feel like she was looking in a mirror. Kim was her equal in every way. They didn’t exactly see eye-to-eye where morals were concerned, but that didn’t matter in a relationship that was about nothing but physical pleasure. They were not lovers, they were just bedmates. That’s how Shego saw it anyway. The bedroom was the one place where they could come together on equal terms, where nothing else mattered, where the complicated history between the two women faded into the background as their bodies became one. But that was it. It wasn’t about trying to find true love; it was about fucking. They were two mature adults who desired sex and were willing to give it to each other. Shego would quit when she was no longer satisfied. That’s just how these things worked.

On a non-sexual level, Shego found herself somewhat interested in Kim. It was like interacting with a younger version of herself: Kim still had a lot to learn but possessed a confidence and fighting spirit that refused to give in to anyone except those she decided to trust. Shego saw herself as a sort of mentor to Kim in terms of educating her that the world was not split strictly into camps of good and evil. There were no moral absolutes. The world was drawn in shades of gray. Kim had only started to realize this in the last few years, and it had been Shego who had opened her eyes.

Well, indirectly of course. In killing Kim’s lover, Shego had left the door wide open for Betty Director to come in and warp the girl’s devastated psyche into that of a ruthless soldier. But Shego had been wise enough to see through that façade and unlock the person underneath. That time it was a direct intervention on Shego’s part. She knew Dr. Director better than Kim did. What the redhead saw and the morally questionable acts the one-eyed woman was capable of were two completely different things, and Shego had witnessed the latter far too often. Shego had a Utilitarian view of life, but she never used people as a means to her own ends, which meant that some part of her Kantian upbringing at the hands of Hego had stuck with her. Dr. Director on the other hand saw people as pawns on a chess board, and she was the chessmaster. Shego had been one of those pawns. So had Kim. But she had saved the redhead and kept her from losing herself forever. She hoped that Kim would never have to go through what she had.

Shego couldn’t help thinking that if things had gone differently, she and Kim may have ended up being close friends. The redhead was actually a fun person to be around when they weren’t fighting, which they weren’t as much. She had changed for the better, and Shego had herself to thank for that. She had shown Kim the world through a set of new eyes, and the former teen hero had taught Shego a thing or two about hospitality and forgiveness. That was why they clicked so well, not as a couple, but as two people who genuinely enjoyed each other’s company. Shego found herself thinking about all those years she had spent hating that bossy, stuck up cheerleader and not seeing the truly wonderful person that Kim was underneath. A person who reminded her of herself.

But it’s still just a fling,’ she reminded herself, trying not to get so caught up in her thoughts that she would be unable to separate the sex from her emotions. Then it occurred to Shego why this situation worked: it wasn’t because of emotional detachment and pure physical pleasure, but the catharsis and emotional release that the sex provided. Shego and Kim could channel all of their feelings, good or bad, into sex and in so doing refresh themselves emotionally and feel like new. It was a dynamic that had previously found expression through their numerous fist fights, but the difference was that fighting only bred more anger. It was pure aggression, nothing more. But sex combined aggression with cooperation, so that each person could help the other to vent and feel better while the other person did the same for them. This is why sex was better suited to those who were in love, but Shego had to admit she felt a lot better after sleeping with Kim, as though a heavy burden had been lifted. It was a way of escaping reality. Sex enabled people to act on all of their wildest and basest desires without fear of retribution. The intimacy it afforded was unparalleled in any other activity, and it provided an avenue for Kim and Shego to get forget about their troubles for one more night.

But the “honeymoon” phase that they were in would not last forever. Soon they would desire more than just sex, and Shego couldn’t trust herself to let go if that happened. She hated getting attached to people. She had only done so once, with Drakken. The mad scientist was the closest thing to a father Shego had ever known, and losing him burned yet another hole in her Swiss-cheesed heart. Eventually the pleasure would end and she would be forced to deal with what she had been running away from. She had to be fair to Kim. She looked down at the redhead who slept so peacefully, without a care in the world. It would devastate her, she knew, but it had to be done. She didn’t want to lead her on, but she also wanted to be fair to her. Shego knew she wasn’t right for Kim. She deserved someone who could truly love her; someone who could truly appreciate her and show her all the love that Shego would never be able to provide. Someone like Stoppable.

Why Shego suddenly found herself thinking about the deceased sidekick she didn’t know. Nor did she understand why Kim would choose to even be in this sort of relationship given what had happened to him. What she did know is that those two were made for each other, and she didn’t want to come between the girl and her connection to the one thing in her life that had given her hope. Shego knew that Kim still retained those feelings for Stoppable and was using her as an outlet to express those feelings. That became apparent the previous morning when Kim had compared Shego to her deceased lover. She had to wonder: was Kim pretending that Shego was Ron? That would make a lot more sense, but at any rate this whole situation was not healthy. It had to end at some point. Kim belonged with Stoppable. They were soulmates. Shego was just a bedmate; a temporary replacement to fill the void in the younger woman’s heart.

But she had to take her own heart into consideration. She knew that Kim’s warrior spirit would enable her to eventually get over it and get on with her life, but Shego had nothing. Kim had the promise of true love continued in the afterlife, and what did Shego have to show for the numerous relationships that she’d been in? Nothing but burnt bridges and broken hearts. She longed for true love, but she knew that she could never find that with a person whose heart belonged to somebody else.

Then it dawned on Shego. She loved Kim Possible. She didn’t know how to explain it or what it was, but it was deeper than anything she had ever felt before. She was not attracted to Kim’s body, but rather her soul and spirit that reminded Shego so much of her own. Mere words could not explain this feeling that blossomed inside Shego’s heart, but it was as close to love as she had ever felt. She never thought her heart would open again after that terrible event six years ago. But here she had found love. Love for the woman who had always been there to offer her a challenge. Love for the woman who inspired her to become better than what she was. Love for the woman who had never given up on her and had shown her that there is good in all people.

But she could never have her. Shego could never fill the hole that had been left in the younger woman’s heart after the loss of her beloved, at her hands, no less. She could never express that love; never show Kim exactly how much she completed her and filled the void in her own heart. She could not do it because Kim’s heart belonged to Ron Stoppable, who refused to leave her even in death. Shego didn’t want to ruin that. For as much as she wanted to find love for herself, she knew that the redhead needed someone who could make her truly happy. All Shego could offer was an empty heart that had been broken too many times to ever be whole again.

It’s said that if you truly love someone, you have to let them go. Shego had never realized the simple, painful truth of that statement until now. It tore her apart inside. She knew that Kim needed someone who could truly show her all the love that Shego felt but was unable to give. For the first time in her life, she resigned herself to her fate and decided not to fight it. She did not want to get in the way of true love. She would pay the price, but she would at least spare Kim the misery of having her life ruined by someone who was unable to truly love her. Shego placed her hands over her head and collapsed back onto the pillow, still unable to sleep. She would break the news to Kim as soon as she saw an opportunity. She slowly drifted off to sleep.

In the corner of the room there stood a man in a black and purple uniform. He was only a few inches tall, short enough to be hidden from view. Shrinking really did come in handy sometimes. He stood staring at the bed where the two women slept, one who rested peacefully, the other who tossed and turned in discomfort. Most of their bodies were hidden from view, but enough skin was showing to make it obvious what had transpired that night.

Mego grinned to himself. A few years ago he would have been freaked out about this, but for some reason he found himself happy for his sister. It was not like him to be thinking of others, but Hego’s death had changed something in him and if there was one thing he’d learned from trying to fill his older brother’s role as the team leader, it was that selfishness was not always a virtue. It had occurred to him that until that point in his life he was trapped in a perpetual egocentric state that made him no different than a toddler. Filling Hego’s larger-than-life shoes required Mego to grow up in a hurry. He had to realize that other people had lives of their own, and it was this realization that allowed Mego to finally cross the threshold from childhood into the world of rational thought. Better late than never.

Mego had taken the time to think the situation over. He had not been there for the actual act that he knew had taken place, but the peaceful expression on each woman’s face as they slept in such close proximity to each other was all the evidence Mego needed to convince him that this might be a good thing. If his sister was happy, he was happy, a far cry from how he used to be. But this was the new Mego. A Mego who cared about other people. He knew in his heart that he should not try to ruin this. But that didn’t mean he couldn’t have a little fun…

Kim and Shego woke up the next morning to a loud “GONG!”

Both women jumped like cats whose tails had just suffered a cruel fate at the hands of a rocking chair. Their gritted teeth and wide-eyed expressions drew attention away from their exposed breasts, though the Wegos could not help but be intrigued by the fact that Kim’s bosoms were not really all that pointy. Must have been the bras she wore. They didn’t have much time to examine them, however, as she quickly pulled the sheets up to cover herself, fully exposing Shego in the process. Mego and the Wegos looked away in horror, clamping their eyes shut and putting their hands in front of their faces in a synchronized gesture.

“I think I’m gonna need therapy,” one of the Wegos spoke up.

“Yeah, and you’re gonna need stitches if you don’t get the hell out of my room right now!” Shego yelled as she ignited her hands and leapt from the bed, an event that her brothers in their self-imposed blindness thankfully missed. Kim saw everything, however. It was a good view.

Mego laughed, still covering his eyes, “Alright sis, just meet us downstairs for breakfast.” He and the Wegos turned to leave the room. One of the Wegos forgot to memorize the location of the door and bonked his nose against the wall. He opened his eyes, remembering not to look at his naked sister, and found the door, holding his now bleeding nose. All three of them were still laughing hysterically despite the mishap.

Shego stood still for a moment with a blank, slightly surprised look on her face, staring at the door through which her brothers had just exited. Kim, still sitting on the bed, did likewise. After a moment Shego spoke.

“That’s it?” she asked rhetorically. “No freaking out? No fainting? Not even the slightest bit of outrage?” This was truly perplexing to Shego. She was unable to move from her position. Her mind seemed to be taking precedence over bodily movement. Her only movement was the slight twitching on her face that indicated some deep (or not so deep) thinking was going on.

“Maybe they’re just in shock?” Kim suggested with uncertainty.

Shego looked at her and just shrugged. “Guess we’ll find out at breakfast,” she replied as she bent over to pick up her catsuit. Kim adjusted her position so that she was lying flat on her stomach, elbows supporting her chin with her hands spread out like an open book. She stared intently at the older woman and licked her lips.

Shego turned around and caught Kim eyeing her lustfully. “God Princess, there just is no ‘off’ button with you, is there?”

“I just think you look really hot bending over like that,” Kim responded as she adjusted her position to where she was sitting Indian-style on the bed, revealing her fuzzy center for the older woman to see. She was a natural redhead.

“You really want to do it after what just happened?” Shego asked incredulously. After being literally exposed to her brothers, there was no way she was just going to jump back into bed with Kim. Although she did look rather cute… no. Business before pleasure.

“Maybe later, Kim,” Shego said as she tried hard not to be turned on by Kim’s luscious naked body. She failed.

Kim decided to deploy her secret weapon and struck full force with the Puppy Dog Pout. Shego’s eyes widened in terror. This was not a card she expected the redhead to play. She looked so adorable as she gazed at Shego with those big, pleading eyes, that quivering lower lip, not to mention the interesting cleavage that came as a result of the way her arms were positioned.

“Pwease?” she cooed as she focused the intensity of her gaze. Shego tried to look away, but it was like a train wreck; a very cute train wreck. Like a train full of teddy bears that suddenly derailed, spilling tons of fluff all over the sides of the tracks… where was she?

Oh, right, trying to resist the PDP. But that face would not be ignored. Eventually Shego lowered her shoulders in defeat.

“Fine,” she sighed. “But make it quick. I wanna get done before my brothers start to suspect us.”

“Oh, we can just tell them we were getting dressed,” Kim offered.

“Whatever,” Shego muttered as she pressed her lips to Kim’s.

After a few more minutes of “getting dressed,” the two women ventured downstairs and were greeted with what most people would have found to be a strange sight. To them, it was just a bunch of Wegos preparing a veritable feast for everybody. They ignored this rather mundane detail and just sat down at the table to await their food. Mego sat across from them, a huge smile plastered across his face. He was still gloating about his little triumph earlier.

“So what exactly is the ‘sitch’ between you two?” he asked, gesturing with the coffee mug that he held in his right hand. He took a sip as he awaited their answer.

The two women glanced at each other nervously, each secretly hoping the other would speak up first. After several overlapping attempts to start an answer, Shego eventually formed an all-encompassing response: “We fuck.”

Mego was a bit intrigued by the simple answer. Shego always did have the ability to take a complicated situation and simplify it into five words or less. “Go on,” he prodded.

“Well, pretty much what she said,” Kim seconded, even though she liked to think that it was a bit more than that. “It’s just HLS.” She had spent waytoo much time around Monique.

“HLS?” the half-dozen Wegos called in unison, looking up from the breakfast they were making.

“Hot Lesbian Sex,” Shego translated, and the mass of Wegos simply nodded and gave an understanding “Ah,” before going back to preparing the meal.

“And this works for you?” Mego asked. Kim and Shego were both surprised and amazed at Mego’s complete change in personality. He actually seemed to care. Shego guessed that it was due to the fact that Hego’s death had forced him to take charge. She had always felt that if he were to overcome his egocentrism, the confidence he possessed in himself would make him a great leader. He had obviously crossed that hurdle. He did not resemble the old Mego in the slightest. His sudden maturity gave him insight. He was acting less like a brother and more like a… father.

Even though Mego was only a year older than her, Shego now felt as though she were speaking to a man twenty years her senior. Mego had begun to focus less on himself and more on the other people around him whom he had ignored for thirty years. Shego thought it was a good change. Even Hego had trouble stepping into the role of head of the household, of course that was because he’d only been 17 at the time. Mego, however, fit into that role quite well. He had been through a lot, and he had come out of it a stronger person. That he was taking this whole thing in stride was of great comfort to Shego. She finally had someone else she could count on.

“Well, yeah.” Kim answered, interrupting Shego’s quiet musings. “I mean, it’s better than being alone.”

“So that’s just it?” Mego replied in a voice that sounded as though he was trying to make them second-guess themselves. “No emotions, no nothing? Just pure physical pleasure?”

“Well, there's some emotion involved,” Shego spoke up. “It’s just that we try not to think too much. Ruins the moment.”

Mego nodded and let out a knowing “Mm.” He picked up his spoon and began to put more sugar into his coffee. He stirred it slowly, letting the two women sit there in awkward, but welcome silence. It gave them a chance to think. Shego didn’t like having to explain this sort of thing to other people, but the relaxed approach that her suddenly mature brother was taking to all this was of some comfort. She could tell that Kim was thinking the same thing from the way her gaze remained fixated on the sight of Mego stirring the coffee. Shego realized that it was not the coffee that captivated the redhead’s attention, but the person stirring it. Even in her limited exposure to Mego, Kim had learned all she needed to know about his former self as it formed the first two letters of his name: “Me.” But Shego knew that Kim was identifying herself with another person who had lost a loved one and been changed because of it. Except that where Kim had holed up inside and attempted to suppress her feelings, Mego was forced to face his problems head on because the twins still needed someone to support them. If Kim had had that something to hold onto, then perhaps she would have done the same. Shego thought about the last few days and realized that because of her, Kim had done that. She was no longer stuck up or bossy as much, and her good qualities were further enhanced. That’s why she loved her.

No,’ Shego thought to herself. ‘You have to be fair to her. A person that wonderful doesn’t deserve someone like you. You don’t have enough to offer.’ And Shego really believed that she didn’t have enough to bring to the table. For everybody who had changed since Hego’s death, Shego was the one person who stayed the same. And it was not a good thing. She was still the same pessimistic, angry, abusive bitch that she had always acted like and eventually become. Sure, she acted differently on the surface, but had her core attributes really changed? She was still unwilling to trust anybody, including the woman with whom she had shared her bed; the same woman that she loved. At least Shego thought it was love. But it was a love she would never be able to give. She and Kim had their moments, like this morning, but there was too much bad history for this to work. Shego had to be fair to Kim. She couldn’t allow herself to ruin the girl’s life by leading her to believe that they had a chance. She just had to find the right moment to break it to her.

Shego’s thoughts were interrupted when one of the Wegos set a plate in front of her and another poured her a drink. The other four did the same for Kim and Mego. They recalled the copies of themselves and each grabbed a plate of their own. Mego stopped stirring his coffee long enough to thank them and turned to Shego.

“Look,” he began, staring straight into his sister’s eyes with a supportive expression on his face. “You don’t have to tell me how all… ‘this,’” he gestured towards Kim and Shego, “happened, I just want you to know that if you ever need us, we’re here for you. Even if we haven’t been in the past, we are now.”

Shego was too touched for words. “T-Thank you,” she finally managed to stammer. Besides Kim, she thought she had no one else in the world on whom she could depend, but Mego’s selfless (for once) gesture moved her almost to tears.

The touching moment was soon ruined when one of the Wegos, in his classic adolescent male curiosity, asked, “So how did it happen?” He raised his eyebrows up and down in a thinly disguised attempt to let them know exactly what he was talking about. The fact that he was looking at both Kim andShego was what made it disturbing. All the eyes around the table flashed him a unified angry glare. Well, all except those of his twin, who just elbowed him in the ribs and laughed, “Perv.”

The Wego who had spoken blushed a deep red when he realized the connotations of what he had just said. He had been so excited at the proposition of hearing how good Kim was in the sack that he had forgotten his sister was involved. He sunk into his chair, crossed his arms and mumbled, “Not what I meant.”

Order resumed at the breakfast table and they discussed what they had planned to do that day. The Wegos had managed to score tickets to Linkin Park’s reunion tour. Shego was less than enthusiastic. “Oh come on, they haven’t been good since Meteora,” she spoke up, referencing the last decent album of theirs. “ All they do nowadays is crappy remixes. Besides, didn’t they break up when that rapper guy formed Fort Minor?”

“Well,” one of the Wegos spoke. “That’s why they’re calling it a reunion tour. And they’re singing all their classics. No remixes. All originals.” Kim felt left out. She knew that Shego loved music, but sometimes the green woman’s tastes confused her. She only knew Linkin Park by name, but she knew Ron had listened to them at one point. She didn’t care for the band, but if Shego liked it, then it must have some significance to her. She tried to communicate that by suggesting they go with. All the eyes at the table were suddenly focused on her.

“Why Kimmie?” Shego asked with genuine curiosity. “Do you like them?” She had not quite gotten the redhead’s message yet.

“Well, no,” Kim admitted. “But listening to you talk about it I can tell that you do. And, I don’t know… since it was a song we listened to that made… ‘this,’” She moved her hands back and forth between them, “possible, maybe I just want to know why. What significance it has to you.”

“I have always liked listening to them,” Shego acknowledged. Message received. She turned to the Wegos. “You think you can score us some more tickets?” The twins flashed her a thumbs up.

“Excellent,” Kim said. “Mego, what about you?”

The purple-suited man shrugged. “I think I’m a little too old to be going to concerts.” Shego arched her eyebrow. “I mean, women are always welcome, but I’d just be the creepy old guy,” he said in a quick save. Shego’s piercing gaze relaxed. “I think I’ll just stay here and wait for updates on the case. You all go have fun. I’ll stay here.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Kim spoke up as her mind suddenly drifted off as to what she should wear.

Later that night

Shego stood by the door waiting for Kim to come down. The redhead sure took a long time to get ready for a concert that wasn’t very high class anyway. Shego had gone with a black hoodie with a green skull on the front to blend in with the crowd that would be there tonight… Her pants were, of course, green. Kim had suggested that she tie her hair back in a ponytail, but Shego shot that idea down like the Red Baron on the six o’ clock of a Sopwith Camel. She tapped her foot impatiently. The Wegos were already out in the car, waiting for a good ten minutes so far. They had chosen to go out in their street clothes tonight, and they wore matching red shirts with black leather jackets and dark jeans. Each Wego wore a chain around his neck, one silver and one gold so that people could tell them apart. Shego could tell that certain girls were going to be fawning over them tonight, even if they were her brothers.

Shego turned to face the stairs. She cupped both hands over her mouth. “Come on Kim, let’s go! This isn’t the prom!”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m coming, I’m coming,” Kim called before appearing at the top of the stairs. Shego’s jaw dropped in amazement.

Shego had told Kim not to look like an Abercrombie & Fitch commercial tonight, but she never expected the redhead to pull off the “bad girl” look so well. Examining the girl from the bottom up, Shego saw that Kim now wore heavy combat boots with leather tight pants in place of her normal cargoes. The thin straps of a fiery red thong extended several inches above her hips. Her normally exposed midriff was now even more so as Kim wore only a red handkerchief to cover her breasts under an open-chested sleeveless leather vest. Her hair hung down from the black biker’s beret that was circular in shape and formed a small shiny leather bill in the front. She had put on enough mascara to pass for a raccoon, and her normally pink lips had been painted a deep lustful red. All in all, she looked like a stripper. She definitely wasn’t going to blend in even at a Linkin Park concert, but Shego guessed that that wasn’t her intention. The green woman looked down at her hoodie. For once shewas the one conservatively dressed.

Twirling the chain that hung from her right hip as she descended the staircase, Kim captivated Shego’s attention the whole way down the stairs. She smiled at the slack jawed woman and planted a huge kiss on her lips, seductively caressing the green woman’s body. They separated after a few moments and Shego stared at the younger woman with glazed eyes. “Wow,” she breathed. They continued to stare into each other’s eyes until the sound of a car horn snapped them back into reality.

“Guess we’d better get going,” Kim suggested.

“Yeah,” Shego agreed. “Bye Mego,” she called as she waved to her sibling, who had changed into his bathrobe in preparation to go to bed. Mego waved back. As the two women walked out the door, he heard a cry of “HOLY SHI—” followed by a long sounding of the car horn. Mego chuckled. Apparently one of the Wegos had seen Kim and passed out. He looked out the window sipping on his tea as he watched them fly off in a small hovercraft.

After gazing out the window for a couple of minutes, he decided to head on up to bed. He moved to turn out the lights when they went out all by themselves. “Weird…” he mumbled to himself as he flicked the light switch up and down to no effect. “What the…” he spoke to nobody. Oh well. Probably just a temporary power outage. He could worry about it in the morning. He headed to where he knew the stairs to be when he caught something out of the corner of his eye.

It was only there for a second, but Mego swore he could see a pair of glowing red eyes. A chill ran up his spine. Was it real? It was probably just his imagination. He really needed sleep. He started to head up the stairs when he looked up and saw the glowing red eyes again, only this time they stayed constant. It was just light enough that Mego could see the dark silhouette of a figure in a massive tattered black cloak. It was blowing in some undetectable breeze. In his hands he held a scythe that gleamed in the moonlight. Mego froze.

There was only one thing to do when one encountered The Reaper: run. Run your ass off. Mego dropped his favorite mug, shattering the picture of Team Go in the old days. He started to back up slowly, careful not to make any sudden movements. When he felt that he had put enough distance between him and The Reaper, he turned and started to run, only to find the spectre in front of him again. He skidded to a terrified stop and barely activated his shrink powers in time to dodge the Kafziel as it The Reaper swung it viciously. Mego returned to normal size and took off running again, trying desperately to find the front door in the darkness. The Reaper seemed to vanish and then reappear suddenly right in front of Mego. He was too stunned to scream, and he shrunk to avoid another swipe and ran under a door.

It was now even darker than before. Mego’s breath was heavy and exhausted, and his eyes darted every which way even though he couldn’t see a thing. His heart raced and the blood pumped through his veins at an accelerated rate. He could hear nothing save for the sound of his breathing and his heart, both of which continued to pick up speed as panic threatened to overtake him. Mego tripped over various objects in the darkness, cursing silently to avoid being noticed any further. Eventually he succeeded in finding a door and he opened it with his glow power. As the door hissed open, Mego had no time to react as a blade gleaming in the moonlight barreled towards his face. It was the last thing he saw.

Shego felt a cold shiver run through her spine as they approached the gates of the amphitheater. She visibly shivered. Something terrible had just happened. She felt lightheaded and faint. She would have collapsed but for the redhead standing next to her, who caught Shego just as her legs gave out.

“Shego, what’s wrong?” Kim asked, suddenly concerned.

Shego put her hand on her forehead as she tried to regain control of her senses. “It’s nothing,” she insisted as she shook it off. But the thought was still in the back of her mind.

Kim said nothing but continued to stare with concern at the pale woman who had grown even more pale, if that was even possible. She was about to open her mouth when the Wegos finally caught up.

“There you are,” Kim spoke up. “I was afraid I might have killed you.”

“Yeah, yeah, you could have warned me,” he declared with an accusing finger.

“Whatever,” Kim sighed as she rolled her eyes. “Let’s just get inside. I wanna party.” A thought crossed Shego’s mind that insisted that Kim did not talk like that. The redhead never “partied.” Sure, she would go to major events or cool hangout places, but the only time that she had gone to a party had also been the time when she lied to her parents to do so. That was so not… not… Kim-like. She didn’t like this.

The group began to walk once more towards the amphitheater. When they arrived they found two gigantic men guarding the entrance. One of the men extended a hand the size of Shego’s face and said simply, “tickets.”

The Wegos produced two tickets from their pockets. Kim and Shego stuck out their hands to grab them, but instead the Wegos just handed them to the security guard who lifted the rope to admit them. Kim and Shego stopped the traitors, however. “I thought you said you could get us more tickets,” Shego growled.

“We did,” one of them mentioned. “We just ‘forgot’ them at home after your girlfriend damned near gave me a heart attack.”

Shego’s fists ignited and she made a swipe at the Wego, but was quickly restrained by the large security guard. “No fighting on the premises,” he warned. She disengaged her power and stood there glaring daggers at the smug twins, who passed through the entrance with a smirk on their faces. Kim had an equally enraged glare.

“There is no way I am going to be left outside while those two jerks get to have all the fun!” Kim fumed with her back hunched and arms locked, her tiny but strong hands clenched into white-knuckled fists. She turned to one of the security guards. “Could you at least let us in so we can have a little ‘chat’ with those two?” she asked in what she hoped was a calm and reasonable tone. The gigantic men continued to stare dispassionately.

“Can’t let you in without a ticket,” one spoke. Kim sighed slumped her shoulders in defeat. She decided to pull out the big guns early and unleashed the Puppy Dog Pout, but the guards were still unmoved. “Still can’t let you in without a ticket.” Out of options, Kim slowly walked over to Shego. Then an idea struck her. She grinned mischievously.

Kim walked up to Shego and embraced the older woman, pulling her into a long kiss. Her hands traveled up and down the green woman’s voluptuous body, stimulating unconscious responses in her. Kim poured all of her passion into that kiss. Shego offered no objections, but in the back of her mind she thought that Kim might be doing this for the wrong reasons. Reasons like wishing to bring physical harm on her brothers. Admittedly, Shego wanted that too, but not if it was going to make a scene. She didn’t do that anymore. In an attempt to delay that course of action and attempt to make Kim see reason, Shego committed herself even more to the kiss, which drew no objections from the long line that was forming behind them. Eventually they broke the kiss due to mutual need for air and gazed at each other with dazed expressions. The security guards exchanged a glance. If they were willing to do THAT much to get in, why deny them the pleasure? One of them lifted the rope and gestured for them to go on through. “Enjoy your night, ladies,” he said in a deep voice.

“Please and thank you,” the redhead spoke while the green woman silently seethed. The security guard smiled and looked to see two dudes in major lip lock. He had to force the bile back down his throat. “Tickets?” he asked.

“Oh, honey, we don’t need tickets with hotness like this,” the man replied, stroking his boyfriend in a way that threatened to make the line behind them revolt. The security guard needed to act fast.

“Yeah, you gotta go,” he said as he pointed to the parking lot. The gay couple hung their heads in shame and walked away.

“What the hell was that back there?” Shego hissed at Kim over the loud music.

“It got us in, didn’t it?” the redhead replied, leaning in so as only to be heard by her companion.

Shego crossed her arms and let out a puff of air to the side. “Yes,” she admitted.

“Good,” Kim replied. “Now will you tryto lighten up? We came here to have a good time.”

“Fine,” Shego groaned, dragging her feet so that the woman to her right had to pull on her to get her moving. Shego saw it as payback. Where Mego had matured greatly, Shego had suddenly reverted to childhood.

Kim grunted as she struggled to pull the surprisingly heavy Shego. Eventually she realized something was bothering her. She stopped and put her hands on her hips. “Okay Shego, what’s your deal? Why are you acting like this?”

Shego stuck out her hip and crossed her arms across her chest. “I should ask you the same question. This isn’t like you, Princess.”

Kim’s face displayed her surprised reaction. Her eyes grew wide at first, then squinted as she tried to make sense of what the older woman had just said. “What do you mean?”

“The way you’re dressed, the way you’re talking, the way you’re acting, the kiss at the door…”

“I thought we agreed to drop that,” Kim interrupted.

“Fine,” Shego acknowledged as she lowered her arms to her sides and stuck one on her hip, using the other to gesture in Kim’s direction. “But you’re still not acting like yourself.”

“Oh?” Kim’s arms assumed the position that Shego’s had been in just a moment before as she crossed them over her chest. “And who am I acting like?”

“You’re acting like…” She paused as the current song ended and a new one began to play. Normally she would have enjoyed this song, but it seemed incredibly ironic given what she had just realized. “You’re acting like me” she finished. The song built up with a mixture of sound effects that converged into a guitar riff at the exact moment her heart split in two. The record scratches mirrored the fractured state of her mind as she struggled to make sense of this. Lead MC/Vocalist Mike Shinoda stepped forward and began to rap the lyrics that spoke truer to Shego’s situation than anything else.

(When this began)
I had nothing to say
And I get lost in the nothingness inside of me
(I was confused)
And I let it all out to find
That I’m not the only person with these things of mine
(Inside of me)
But all the vacancy the words revealed
Is the only real thing that I’ve got left to feel
(Nothing to lose)
Just stuck/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

Shego was not only an unsuitable lover for Kim, she was a bad influence. She had fooled herself into thinking that letting all her feelings out into the open had changed the redhead for the better, but she was wrong. All she had managed to do was take her bad qualities and impart them to Kim. She had been so concerned with not ruining the redhead’s life that she failed to realize that she had already done so. Now Shego had nothing that she could count on. She couldn’t even help Kim, the person she loved more than anything in the world. Instead she had turned her into something she wasn’t and left herself empty and broken. As Shinoda finished up the rap lead singer Chester Bennington began to sing the chorus.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

How desperately Shego wanted to escape this, to pretend that it was all just a dream! But she could not. Nor could she stand and face what she had done. At a complete loss for what to do for the first time in her adult life, Shego desired nothing more than to get away from all this and allow her soul to mend itself away from redheads who tore down all the defensive barriers. She had to get out! She had to break free! But where would she go? Shego didn’t “belong” anywhere, and her whole life had been one big game of trying to find that one place where she fit in. She thought she had found that place with Kim. But she was wrong.

And I’ve got nothing to say
I can’t believe I didn’t fall right down on my face
(I was confused)
Looking everywhere only to find
That it’s not the way I had imagined it all in my mind
(So what am I)
What do I have but negativity
’Cause I can’t justify the way everyone is looking at me
(Nothing to lose)
Nothing to gain/ hollow and alone
And the fault is my own, and the fault is my own

Shego had been living in a dream world the past few days, thinking that she and Kim could actually carry on a sexual relationship without involving feelings. How foolish she had been! Now her eyes had been opened and she saw the truth; the painful, honest truth: she had nothing. Nothing but hate for the world around her and emptiness in her own soul. She could not love. Her heart could never be rebuilt. As much as she fought to deny it, that fact would never change. She had nothing left and nothing to look forward to. She fell to her knees and grabbed her head as the song entered the second chorus.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

Shego shut her eyes as tightly as she could and gritted her teeth, trying to deal with the mass of information that entered her brain. It was a swirling chaos that she wished to escape but could not for the simple reason that it was her own doing. She wanted it to end! Why wouldn’t it just END?! Her mind continued to be bombarded with thoughts and feelings that refused to go away. There was only one way to make it stop.

I will never know myself until I do this on my own
And I will never feel anything else, until my wounds are healed
I will never be anything till I break away from me
I will break away, I'll find myself today

She had to leave. She had to get out of here. She stood to her feet and began to run. She didn’t care where she ended up. So long as it was away from here. Surely her problems would stop if she ran away! She had forgotten about the redhead who had begun chasing after her. Kim grabbed Shego by the shirt, but Shego shoved her to the ground and began to run again. Kim refused to give up so easily.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel what I thought was never real
I wanna let go of the pain I’ve held so long
(Erase all the pain till it’s gone)
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m close to something real
I wanna find something I’ve wanted all along
Somewhere I belong

Shego looked back to see that the girl who represented everything she wanted to escape was chasing after her, oblivious to the irrational decision Shego had set her mind to. She was everything Shego feared, everything she hated. Everything she had ever loved twisted and used against her. Why couldn’t she understand that Shego only had her best interest in mind? Why did she have to be do stubborn? Shego eventually reached a bathroom and ducked inside as the song came to a close. Kim saw Shego enter and followed. The door closed as manic screams were heard from the bathroom. Outside, the final words of the song summed up the entire event.

I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
I wanna heal, I wanna feel like I’m somewhere I belong
Somewhere I belong

Wow. Never expected it to be this long. It just goes to show you what a person can do when they have too much free time. I pretty much explained the plot in the beginning notes, so I’ll take this time to point out references. If the opening scene looked familiar to you, it should have. It’s based on Wolverine’s dream sequence in X2: X-Men United. Also, the name “Kafziel” is taken from the video game Soul Calibur III. It’s the weapon carried by Zasalamel, and it just happens to be a scythe. Just thought it fit. Thank you to everyone who has supported this story so far and good luck in the Fannies to those who have been nominated. I just received my sixth, but I doubt I made the top three in any of the categories. I’m having a lot of fun writing this story, and I hope you all are having just as much fun reading it. Please read and review. No flames, please.


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