6*5*4*3*2*1
(Ron enters first. That is, if you can consider being thrown by two angry women “entering”)
RON: “I'm sorry guys, it was an accident!”
SHEGO: “Well I can make accidents happen, too!”
Shego Collared - Chapter 5
By: NoDrogs
SHEGO: “You know, 'NoDrogs' spelled backwards is 'S. Gordon'. Do you think that's a clue to his real identity?”
KIM: “Nah, no one would take the chance of us tracking them down for revenge.”
A Kim Possible fan fic. Kim Possible and associated characters are property of the Walt Disney corporation and used here for nonprofit reasons without permission.
Some violent and sexually suggestive material. Please do not read if you are a minor or find such material objectionable.
Thanks for all the feedback, I was surprised how many reactions (and so quickly) I got. I’ve found that comments seem to be the raw fuel my fan-fiction engine runs on.
RON: “Fan-fiction engines: the daring new solution to the fossil fuel problem.”
SHEGO: “Not yet approved by the EPA.”
Some concepts are based on the ideas other Kigo fan-fic writers and not my own. Some of the lines are based on movies and online comics, which I also do not own and which are used without permission. Read and enjoy.
This story is NOT part of my ‘Small Possibilities’ fan-fic series, but I did borrow a few concepts from there (such as Bertha Director). Thanks for all the feedback, both on and the KPSlash board.
KIM: “'Both'? So he got two reviews?”
RON: “I'm surprised he got that many.”
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LOCATION:
Bertha Director’s Condo at the Golden Gun Girls Complex,
Florida Doctor
Betty Director, temporarily retired head of Global Justice, glared at the computer screen in front of her.
RON (As Dr. Director): “I will beat you yet, Kingdom Hearts!”
“I never could understand what’s so great about staring at a monitor.” commended her mother, Bertha Director. “In my day, we used good old fashion paper and folders.”
“Mother, the world has gotten far too complex for little pieces of paper.”
KIM: “That's why 'Post-It Notes' were invented.”
explained Betty. “What we know changes too fast for a static medium.”
“Numbers and data may change, human nature doesn’t.” said Bertha. “This Avery guy. A dime a dozen. Managed to get himself promoted past his abilities, and now he’s focusing on trying to prove he can solve this one problem while letting a dozen other problems blow up around him.”
RON: “Hey, if they blew up, then they are no longer problems!”
(Shego glares at him)
RON: “Well that's how a lot of OUR problems get solved.”
SHEGO: “I know, Stoppable and can we NOT talk about that?”
“In a way, he already has solved the problem.” admitted Betty. “His methods are way too extreme, but he’s separated Shego from Dr. Drakken and pushed Shego to the sidelines. Without Shego, Drakken is only an Alpha six at best. What he should do now is arrest Dr. Drakken and back off of Shego. However…”
SHEGO: “That makes sense, and we can't have any of THAT in a government organization.”
“…he’s gone too far.” finished Bertha. “He’s fired a cannon at a fly, and discovered once you’ve started that you can’t stop until you’ve killed the fly or run out of cannons.”
RON: “Because shooting off cannons is like eating potato chips…”
“Something like that.” admitted Betty. “Mr. Juan-Dize is losing supporters fast, but not fast enough. I’m afraid that he may decide to do something…
KIM: “Silly?”
desperate.”
KIM: “Oh.”
Bertha smiled “Betty-kins, when you get to be my age, you realize that sometimes all you can do when you see a disaster is about to occur is be ready to pick up the pieces. I remember one time with Nana… anyway, if he’s still in your seat by Thanksgiving, do you think we can have a big family dinner? I’m sure I can talk your brother into letting his little Worldwide Evil Empire run itself for a week or so…”
SHEGO: “Did she just go senile in mid-sentence? How sad.”
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LOCATION:
Global Justice Headquarters, -CLASSIFIED-
KIM: “But the entrance IS near Bueno Nacho.”
“Sir, the woman you wanted to speak too is waiting…” reported Will Du. “Excellent.” said Avery Juan-Dize. “Send her in.”
RON: “Yes, Mister Burns!”
KIM: “And that is our obligatory 'Simpsons' reference.”
“Sir, are you sure this is the right thing to do?” said Will Du. “It’s just…”
“SILENCE!” commanded Mr. Juan-Dize. “I’ll show that red haired bitch she can’t mess with Global Justice!”
RON: “Why not? They've messed with US often enough.”
SHEGO: “Such as?”
KIM: “Something called 'the Ron Factor'. Which reminds me Ron: how is… you know”
RON (Softly): “Better, thank you.”
“But Sir…” protested Will.
“I have made my decision, Will.” said the current director of Global Justice.
“You will obey my orders or you will be sitting on the curb next to Dr. Director. Understand?”
SHEGO: “I can see them now: Du singing 'Brother Can You Spare A Dime?' and Betty saying 'Helloooo sailor!'.”
RON: “Well Kim, aren't you going to snap at Shego for that?”
KIM: “Huh? Oh, sorry Ron. I just had this very disturbing picture of Dr. Director wearing a leather miniskirt and fishnet stockings.”
“Understood, sir.” Will stamped out of the office. “He’s ready to see you now.” he told the woman in the waiting room.
The young, attractive blonde woman walked into the office and glanced around. “Well, this is a step up from my prison cell. A small step.”
SHEGO (Radio voice): “That's one small step for man… one giant leap for mankind.”
Director Avery Juan-Dize cleared his throat. “How would you like to be free of your prison cell… forever? I can clear the charges against you and have you released, and all you have to do is help me with a little problem.”
KIM (As Avery): “There's this itchy spot I can't reach and it's driving me crazy!”
“I’m listening.” the woman said, trying to appear aloof.
Juan-Dize took out a remote control and pointed it at a wall. With a push of a button, the wall turned into a display screen showing a picture of Kim and Shego. The photo was recent; Kim and Shego were both licking ice cream cones. A metal leash ran from the black collar around Shego’s neck to Kim’s free hand.
RON: “For shame! Using government computers to download porn!”
“Freeeaky.” the woman commented.
“This woman.” said Director Juan-Dize, pointing at the pale skinned woman wearing the collar. “Is Sheila G. Down, a.k.a. Shego, a.k.a. Shannon Gordon, a.k.a. Shee-ga-roo.
KIM: “Alias Smith and Jones.”
As the result of proximity to a meteor of rather mysterious origin, her genetic code was modified. In addition to her unusual skin coloration, she has the ability to produce charged plasma, of various levels of energy, from her hands.”
“So, she’s a mutant who’s in some weird relationship with little Miss I’m-better-than-you.” commented the woman. “What’s your point.”
SHEGO (As Avery): “You're right, what was I thinking? Sorry to waste your time with this.”
“Shego is also one of the most dangerous criminals known. She’s broken into more top secret labs then I could legally tell you and has helped Dr. Drew Lipsky, a.k.a. Dr. Drakken,
SHEGO: “A.K.A. 'Whiny Pants'…”
almost take over the world several times.” said the Director. “Arresting and restraining her has proven difficult, due to both her plasma-powers and her skill with defeating security systems. Recently, I found a legal loophole that would let me hunt her down and kill her, with no interference from civil rights laws.”
KIM: “Or as they say in the South, 'war-between-the-states rights laws'. (Pause) You all.”
“Good for you.” said the woman, bored. “So what does that have to do with me and Red?” The woman pointed at the picture of Kim.
“I had Shego declared legally inhuman! A dangerous animal, to be shot when found.” ranted Director Juan-Dize, ignoring the blonde woman’s exaggerated yawn.
“But then… Kim Possible ruined my scheme! She foiled my perfect plans.”
KIM: “Well BOO-HOO, slick!”
(Ron and Shego pretend to play violins, pausing only to wipe their eyes with handkerchiefs)
Sheesh… for a guy who’s the head of an international crime-fighting organization, the woman thought. He sure sounds a lot like your average super villain.
“Do you know what she did? DO YOU KNOW WHAT SHE DID?” demanded Director Juan-Dize, emphasizing his point by slamming his fist into his desk.
“She bought Shego ice cream?” suggested the blonde woman.
RON: “You FIEND!”
SHEGO: “Oh Kimmie, how COULD you?”
“SHE ADOPTED SHEGO! She adopted Shego as her pet!” yelled Director Juan-Dize.
The blonde woman blinked. “She can do that?”
SHEGO: “Too late to ask that now, it's a done deal.”
“Damn liberal pet laws…” muttered Director Juan-Dize. “Completely legal! Unless we can prove that Shego is a threat and Kim Possible is unable to control her, my hands are tied! There’s nothing I can do directly.”
“So why involve me?” asked the woman.
“Simple.” said Director Juan-Dize, managing to calm down. “I want you to prove that Shego is still dangerous. You’ve made a career of faking things… demonstrating the truth should be easy for you.” Adrenna Lynn smiled. “You have yourself a deal.”
KIM (As Roosevelt): “I promise a new deal for the American people!”
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LOCATION:
Somewhere in Middleton, Colorado.
KIM: “That's what my dad always says when he's lost and won't ask for directions.”
Adrenna Lynn sat in the back of the van Director Juan-Dize had provided for her.
He provided pretty good toys, even if he did insist she start on a Saturday.
RON: “Should we do that line from the 'Batman' movie?”
KIM: “No, let's not wear it out.”
Some of the toys were in use right now… Stealth recon drones, originally designed for the military. Each drone was about the size of a softball, and featured an extreme-low-light camera. They used the same technology Dr. Drakken had used in his hover lair, and were able to fly around without being seen.
So far, though, all Miss Lynn had to look at was several views of Kim’s house. Kim’s family was away for the week, apparently, and she had another girl staying over with her and Shego. Wonder if they would like to make it a four way… No! Bad Adrenna… keep your mind on the job. she told herself, firmly.
SHEGO: “Thank you! The less I know about her fantasies, the better!”
The front door of the Possible house opened up. Miss Lynn grabbed a joystick and brought one of the stealth-drones in close, to see the dark-skinned girl currently staying with Kim walking outside. She was holding two metal leashes, leading to… collars around KIM AND SHEGO’S NECKS!
(Kim and Shego make choking/strangling noises)
Adrenna’s jaw dropped, then she quickly turned to make sure that this video footage was being recorded. The sight of the woman Adrenna hated/lusted for, being led docilely on a leash… even is she couldn’t use this footage to accomplish the mission for Director Juan-Dize, she still wanted a copy for her private viewing.
RON: “Private Allan Viewing, her pen pal in the army.”
Trying to ignore the hormones rushing into her bloodstream, she set the drone following the trio. The microphone built into the drone was of lower quality then the camera, the audio the drone was able to overhear further degraded by the audio-masking technology used to hide the noise of the drone’s operation.
SHEGO: “So the drone's flight noises are masked by it making an even louder noise. Who designed those things, Dr Drakken?”
Frantically, Adrenna listened as closely as she could while her eyes devoured the sight of Kim, dressed in a collar, dark belly baring t-shirt, a collar, a pair of loose fit cargo pants, a collar, a pair of black sneakers and, the item that kept drawing Adrenna’s attention, a collar!
KIM: “What is this, a stake-out or a fashion report?”
SHEGO: “Remember last chapter when Monique made you watch the all-fashion show channel?”
(All three shudder)
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Monique glanced back at her two ‘puppies’. The week had been fun for Monique… she had to admit, to herself, that it was a thrill to see Kim Possible, usually so ‘I can do anything’, obeying her like a dog.
RON: “Which just proves that Kim CAN 'do anything'.”
Shego was fun to watch, too…
SHEGO: “Yes I am.”
Monique had been a little surprised when she discovered that Shego and Kim had quickly begun a low-level competition to see which one could be the better ‘pet’. In retrospect, it made sense… the two women’s relationship seemed based on competition, seeing which of the two was ‘better’.
(Kim and Shego turn slowly to look at each other)
RON: “Don't start.”
(The women look away and act innocent)
Monique turned down a deserted street. She had been deliberately taking the walks in areas where she felt it was unlikely that anyone Kim or she knew would see them. Yesterday seeing Mr. Barken had been a considerable shock… As a precaution, the route she was taking now was even more out of the way. The only business open that she saw was a gas station.
SHEGO: “It was a combination service station and diner, where you could eat and get gas.”
Shego turned, frowning. Kim glanced at her and turned also. Both ‘pets’ were keyed up… they felt as if something was watching them, but neither woman had yet been able to spot any proof they were being watched.
“What is it?” Monique asked.
RON (As Monique): “What is it, Lassie?”
KIM: “Arf! Arf! Arf-arf!”
RON: “Timmy fall down the well AGAIN? I swear, that kid is a walking Darwin Award!”
Shego and Kim glanced at each other, silently checking to see which one should speak.
SHEGO (Raising her hand): “Madam speaker, I would like to offer a motion.”
Kim turned to Monique. “Miss Monique… we THINK that someone’s spying on us, but we haven’t seem him… or her, or it.”
KIM: “Or they. Or this, that and the other.”
RON: “Could it be the guy looking through the binoculars while drooling all over himself?”
SHEGO: “No, too obvious.”
Monique blinked in surprise. “Global Justice?” she asked, glancing around herself. Of course, if Kim and Shego couldn’t spot their peeping Tom, Monique knew she probably wouldn’t.
“Probably.” growled Shego. She sniffed, as if trying to smell out whoever was following them.
SHEGO: “The writer is getting a little too into the whole 'dog' thing.”
The sensation of being spied on was NOT pleasant.
Monique shrugged. “Well, nothing we can do about that now except give them a good show.”
(Ron pulls a top hat and cane from under his seat and starts high-kicking)
RON (Singing): “Hello my honey, hello my baby, hello my rag-time gal!”
KIM: “Suddenly I feel like frogs' legs for dinner…”
The three women continued walking, occasionally one of them furtively glancing around to try to spot the unseen observer.
Kim turned, quickly… she thought she had heard something over there. She took a step toward the cloaked hover drone.
SHEGO: “Cloaks and capes are SO nineteenth century!”
Monique was feeling a little freaked by the thought of being watched. Without really thinking about it, she tugged lightly on Kim’s leash, the tug not hard enough to activate the leash’s shock feature. “Bad puppy… stay with the group.” Monique said.
“Yes, Miss Monique.” said Kim, falling into line.
RON (tour guide voice): “And we're walking, and walking…”
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LOCATION:
Middleton High School Cafeteria, Colorado
KIM: “Where on May seventh, 1999, they ACTUALY served real food!”
RON: “Believe it, or not!”
Monique’s eyes bugged out. “I left the rule list on the fridge… and your mom found it? What did you do, girl?”
SHEGO: “Lied like a sinner?”
KIM: “I don't lie! Well, not often…”
“Before or after I silently prayed for the Earth to swallow me whole?” asked Kim. “Well, fortunately, she apparently hadn’t read it completely. I was able to convince her that it was a set of rules you had suggested for Shee-ga-roo.”
“Ok, so she didn’t ask about ‘Pumpkin’?” said Monique.
“Thankfully, no. Talk about major source of embarrassment. I’d have DIED if my family knew what we had done. And if Bonnie knew…” said Kim. She shuddered.
Ron came over, his plate loaded with cafeteria cheese pizza… or, at lease, cardboard covered in government issued cheese.
RON: “A frighteningly realistic description.”
“Cheese!” squeaked Rufus, poking his head out of his pocket.
“So, how did your spring break go?” asked Ron, grabbing a slice and letting his pocket-sized pal out to enjoy also.
“Oh, it was… memorable.” said Kim. “That reminds me, Monique, I still owe you for pet sitting.”
“Didn’t I tell you, girlfriend?” said Monique. “Shego paid for that. Seems you didn’t manage to clean her account out after all.”
SHEGO: “And you used too much starch when you laundered my money, some maid you are!”
KIM: “Uh Shego, why are you looking at me that way?”
SHEGO: “Do you own a black satin dress with petti-coats?”
KIM: “What does that have to do with… (Blush) uh, no I don't.”
RON: “What color is it Kim?”
KIM: “Cotton candy pin-- RON!”
“Monique? You pet-sat for Kim?” said Ron.
Kim found herself blushing.
“Something like that, Ron.” said Monique. “Kim needed some time without having to pull Shego’s leash.”
“Shego give you any trouble?” asked Ron, curious.
“No, it was Pumpkin who had obedience issues.” said Monique, eyes twinkling.
Shego was right, decided Monique. It IS fun to make the girl who can do anything blush.
SHEGO: “Of course I'm right.”
“Who’s Pumpkin?” asked Ron, not noticing how red his best friend was turning.
“Just this other pet I watched last week.” said Monique, waving a hand to dismiss the topic. “So, how was Mr. Barken’s English Lit class this morning? I have it this afternoon.”
“Monique,” said Ron. “If there’s anything weirder then hearing Barken shout out ‘Three little maids from school are we…’, then I haven’t found it.”
“You’re just upset because he made you and Josh Mankey shout it along with him.” pointed out Kim. “Gilbert and Sullivan was meant to be performed.”
“Not like that!” insisted Ron.
RON: “OK, we're getting a little too close to real life here!”
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Adrenna Lynn smiled, at the spy drone console. The details of a plan were gelling in her mind, the way to get footage of Shego attacking Lynn. Granted, she would actually have to let Shego attack her… which meant she might get banged up.
SHEGO: “I could make a dirty joke here, but I won't.”
KIM (Patting Shego on the head): “Good girl.”
On the other hand, bruises was something Lynn knew how to tolerate… one of the things Kim Possible had apparently never learned was that Lynn had actually started out doing her real, extreme stunts before a stunt gone bad had given Lynn a phobia about flying and the realization that faking stunts was much easier.
KIM: “Well I know about it NOW, big mouth!”
Some body damage was just the price of playing the game.
As for the potential prize… well, once Director Juan-Dize had Shego in custody… or dead… that would leave Kim emotionally hurt and vulnerable. Lynn could slip in and get Kim on the rebound. Maybe even see if she could talk the gorgeous red-head into being Lynn’s pet. Heck, I’d almost be willing to be HER pet, just to be close to her, thought Lynn. Timing will be crucial… Tomorrow afternoon is the soonest I can be ready.
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RON: “Things I Learned From this Fan-Fic: Two letters repeated over and over can be used as a substitute for a period at the end of a paragraph.”
Mrs. Dr. Possible came home early. Her two cases for the day, both involving head trauma, had been accomplished faster then she had expected and her boss had told her to go home and relax. The cases, although not requiring a great deal of time, had required delicate and nerve-wracking precision. She had time to unwind before starting dinner.
SHEGO: “Brain surgery, saving lives, then into the kitchen to cook dinner for hubby. 'You've come a long way, baby' MY BUTT!”
Her daughter was sitting at the table, apparently finishing up a homework assignment. Driving in, Mrs. Dr. Possible had spotted her daughter’s new ‘pet’ out in the backyard, sunning herself. It was a little odd the way Shee-ga-roo could spend hours in the sun and still remain that unusual, milky-white color.
RON: “Shego, I was wondering--”
SHEGO: “No, I'm not telling you or anyone else.”
Kim, Mrs. Dr. Possible noticed, was wearing a necklace Nana had given her… a cloth band that held a locket against the hollow of Kim’s throat. The reason Mrs. Possible noticed it was because Kim hadn’t been wearing it this morning when she left for school.
SHEGO: “But that was before the vampire bit her.”
Well, maybe Kimmy wanted to dress up a little for dinner. Mrs. Dr. Possible decided, and turned the TV on low, turning on a cooking show she liked.
Kim finished the homework assignment. Now, just as long as Mr. Barken doesn’t expect me to sing ‘I am the very model of a modern Major-General’, I’m set. she thought. She saw her mom watching TV on one end of the couch. Without really thinking about it, Kim walked over and laid down on the couch. Just like she had during the week with Monique, she placed her head in her mother’s lap.
KIM: “Here, mom. I cut it off just for you!”
Mrs. Dr. Possible blinked in surprise. Normally, she knew Kim would have either been telling her to change the channel or would have done something else besides hang around with her mother.
Maybe having a pet has been good for her, thought Mrs. Dr. Possible, reaching down to stroke her little bubble-butt’s hair.
RON AND SHEGO: “'Bubble-butt!' Hahahahaha!”
KIM (Blushing like mad): “Shut up! Shut up!”
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
Adrenna Lynn checked her appearance in the vanity mirror. The long, brown wig covered her short, spiky blonde hair. The jumpsuit she was wearing was actually another prototype from Director Juan-Dize; The material was a military fabric that should completely shield her from Shego’s plasma-touch. It as just a pity that it was such an ugly, mustard-yellow color.
RON: “It also comes in 'catsup' and 'tartar sauce'.”
The hover drones were out, programmed to track her and Shego. Shego was laying outdoors, in the backyard… dressed in just a green-and-black slashed bathing suit and a black collar. Adrenna Lynn picked up a small video play-back unit, the footage she wanted already uploaded and cued up, and stepped outside of the van.
Smirking, she walked toward the fence, careful not to trespass on the Possible’s yard. “Hello, there!” she said, loudly.
KIM: “That voice alone should break some noise pollution laws!”
Shego turned. Today was NOT going well… she had that itchy ‘I’m being watched’ feeling again, and now this complete stranger had appeared. “Who are you?”
“Oh, just one of little Kim’s old arch-foes. You didn’t think you were the ONLY pretty girl Kim fought with, did you?” asked Lynn.
Shego frowned, feeling a faint twinge of jealousy. “Couldn’t have been too memorable, since she never mentioned you.”
SHEGO: “Oh yes, Kim and I just have lovely afternoon teas together; gossiping about the other girls we fight, exchanging recipes…”
RON: “Really?”
KIM AND SHEGO: “NO!”
“I just dropped by to thank you.” said Lynn.
“Thank me?” said Shego, startled. “Thanks for what, not melting your face off?”
“No, for giving me the perfect weapon to get revenge on Kim Possible.”
SHEGO: “You're welcome. Can I get back to my sunbath now?”
Lynn held up the device and pressed the play button. On the small screen appeared an image of Kim, Shego, and Monique. The view quickly zoomed in to show Kim’s face, complete with the leash and collar. Monique’s voice drifted from the speaker on the unit. “Bad puppy… stay with the group.”
“Yes, miss…” said Kim’s voice, submissively.
KIM: “(GASP!) That's horrible! My hair looks awful!”
Lynn hit the pause button. “I figure I post this on enough Villain Boards and on the In-Terror-Net, your little Kimmy’s reputation will be shot. Won’t be long before some super villain puts his OWN collar on Kim… one that she won’t be able to take off.”
RON (Fingers in his ears): “Sick and wrong! I'm not listening! La la la la!”
Most people would find themselves seeing red. Shego, on the other hand, saw green… So angry that not only her hands, but her eyes also began to glow bright green.
Lynn backed off slowly, smirking… waving the video unit. “Don’t worry…” she said. “I’ll be sure to give you credit.”
KIM: “No credit, cash only!”
Shego leapt over the fence with ease, the five foot tall fence not even slowing her down. Lynn turned and began to run. “Catch me if you can!” she called.
Shego sprinted after the fleeing woman, and tackled Adrenna to the ground. One glowing green fist lashed out, wrapping around the video-player. The small unit began to melt as it was subjected to heat that could melt through a titanium vault door.
“Oh come on, Shee-ga-roo…” said Lynn. “You don’t think that was my only copy, do you? How you going to stop me from broadcasting that?”
SHEGO: “Oh I can think of a few dozen ways…”
Inside, Lynn was crossing her fingers. She sincerely hoped that Director Juan-Dize was right about Shego’s vow to never take human life… and hoped that Shego remembered her vow.
SHEGO (Sulking): “Oh, damn my moral code.”
RON: “YOU have a moral code?”
SHEGO: “YOU'RE still alive, aren't you?”
RON: “Got it.”
Shego grabbed Lynn and yanked her upwards. “If you ever show that tape to ANYONE… if you don’t go and erase every copy you have, and I find out… I will make you WISH you only had Kim and Global Justice hunting you down.”
“Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” said Lynn.
KIM: “I wouldn't give her ideas, if I were you!”
“You’re bluffing. You’ve gone soft. Weak.” Shego howled in rage. She threw Lynn, hard, against a nearby tree. She held her hands up, charging for a plasma blast.
“SHEE-GA-ROO!” yelled Kim, just having returned home from school. Perfect timing! chortled Adrenna Lynn, mentally. With a smirk, she set off running into the woods.
RON: “Isn't a 'Smirk' one of those annoying little blue guys in the cartoons?”
SHEGO: “I wouldn't know, I have to work FOR an annoying blue guy so I avoid watching cartoons about them.”
Shego turned to chase after her.
“Shego! Stop!” said Kim. “What’s going on? What if Global Justice finds you like that?”
“That woman…” snarled Shego. “She has a tape… of last week. Showing us out walking… and she said she’d spread it on the In-Terror-Net.”
SHEGO: “Hey, you got kinky pictures on my In-Terror-Net!”
KIM: “You got In-Terror-Net on my kinky pictures!”
RON: “And strangely enough, it's two great ideas that go LOUSY together!”
Kim blanched. Part of what had earned Kim her reputation as a world-saver was… well, her reputation as a world-saver. Super villains knew they had to take Kim seriously. If that footage got out, her reputation would be crippled. Run of the mill freaks would be out to try to prove they could collar the great Kim Possible. And they only had to be lucky once… Kim yanked out her Kimmunicator. “Wade! Trouble.” she said.
RON: “Kim lost the rest of her sentence, Wade!”
Wade, in his room, blinked. “What’s the sitch?” he asked, typing fast.
KIM: “For one thing, you're stealing my lines!”
“Some woman just provoked Shego. She has some footage that… we don’t want seen.” said Kim. “I think Global Justice might be behind it.”
Wade typed. “Whoa… Satellite scans show some masked energy signatures… it matches these mini-spy drones Global Justice has been working on.”
SHEGO: “First spy drones wearing cloaks and now masks? Some one in GJ has some serious problems!”
“Any way you can hack them?” demanded Kim.
“Afraid not.” reported Wade. “They’re already moving away from you guys, heading toward a van. A brown haired woman is heading to the van also.”
“That’s the woman.” Shego said. “She said she was a foe of yours.”
Kim frowned. “I don’t remember fighting any woman who looked like that, with long brown hair…”
KIM: “Except for Bonnie.”
“Kim, she just took the hair off!” said Wade. “It was apparently a wig… she’s actually got short, blonde hair!”
Kim gasped. “Adrenna Lynn! But she’s supposed to be in jail.”
“Director Juan-Dize must have given her a get-out-of-jail-free card.” said Wade.
RON: “And if they were playing 'Monopoly', that would mean something.”
“The van is definitely Global Justice Issue… I’m picking up energy signatures inside the van, but its so shielded I can’t get into the systems.”
“Director Juan-Dize wanted proof Shego was a wild animal… and Adrenna Lynn may have just gotten it.” said Kim.
“What are we going to do?” asked Shego, worried.
“Only one thing to do.” said Kim. She looked at Wade. “Wade, I need you to place a call to the Golden Gun Girls condo association… I’m calling grandma!”
ALL (Singing. 'Over There'): “Grandma get your gun, get your gun, get your gun. Take it on the run, on the run, on the run. Hear Kim calling you and me, every Gun Girl we can see!”
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
Nana Possible had been glad to give Kim the number of her friend, Bertha Director. Within minutes, Kim was talking to Bertha’s daughter, Betty Director.
“And that’s the sitch.” said Kim, as calmly as she could. “We need someone to stop Avery Juan-Dize.”
KIM: “And who actually knows how to pronounce 'Dize'.”
Dr. Director’s voice came clearly over the Kimmunicator’s speaker. “Kim… I’ve had the leverage, barely, to get back my position for a couple days now. I’ve been waiting until I had enough leverage to get back AND have the humanity limiting law repealled. I can do either, not both, right now.”
Kim glanced at Shego.
Shego cleared her throat. “Dr. Director… it’s my fault they’ve got the footage of me. If you can shove Avery out on his rear and get back control of Global Justice, then do so. I can wait on being human again.” Shego smiled at Kim. “Besides, being Kimmy’s pet isn’t so bad.”
SHEGO: “It's the Scooby Snax I can't stand!”
“Ok.” said Dr. Director. “Understand, once I’m back in office I will keep trying to have your humanity restored.”
“Thank you.” said Shego.
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
“So.” said Bertha Director, as she saw Betty hang up the phone. “I suppose I should cancel my plans for a family Thanksgiving?”
RON: “No thanksgiving? Say it isn't so!”
“Sorry, mom.” said Betty. “Duty calls.”
“Have fun.” said Bertha.
KPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKPKP
Will Du was in the G.J. holodeck, running a combat/training simulation. After his last meeting with his current boss, Mr. Juan-Dize, Will Du had to find SOMETHING to do to work out his aggravation.
KIM: “So he slipped into a 'Star Trek TNG' episode.”
Mr. Juan-Dize had just been so smug and gloating, watching the video tape showing Shego attacking Adrenna Lynn. Never mind that Shego was trying to go straight, after being declared just an animal. Never mind that Lynn had clearly provoked Shego, by threatening a young woman that Will Du had come to realize could probably do more good in her lifetime than Will Du could ever hope to accomplish. Never mind that it was ALL AVERY JUAN-DIZE AND ADRENNA LYNN’S FAULT…
SHEGO: “Look, if it'll make you happy I'm willing to forget the whole fan-fic!”
Will kicked a hooded, simulated assailant through a plate glass window. He saw/sensed a woman coming up behind him. Picturing her as Adrenna Lynn, he turned and delivered a powerful punch to her solar plexis…
“DR. DIRECTOR?” gasped Will, surprised.
“Oof… glad to… see you too…” gasped Dr. Director, trying to catch her breath. She struggled to her feat, rubbing her stomach.
RON: “And patting her head, which was a feat she had been working on since age seven…”
“Holodeck off.” ordered will. “Dr. Director, I’m so sorry… I was running a combat sim and…”
“Trying to work your mad off.” finished Dr. Director. “My fault, I should have known better then to sneak up on you.”
“What are you doing here?” asked Will. Suddenly, his eyes lit up with hope. “Are you here to…”
Dr. Director nodded. “I’m here to get my job back.“
KIM (As a disappointed Will Du): “Oh, I thought you were going to ask me out to lunch. Can't you understand what I've been trying to say, Dr. Director? I LOVE YOU!”
Will eagerly followed Dr. Director as she walked into what had been and would once again be her office.
Mr. Juan-Dize looked up, startled. On the video-wall, the footage of Shego leaping out at Adrenna Lynn was replaying itself, once again.
SHEGO: “My God! Doesn't that man do anything but watch kinky movies all day?”
“Ms. Director.” he said. “What can I do for you?”
Dr. Director grinned and pulled out a set of printed sheets, which she placed on the desk. “I understand you will be taking retirement now” she said.
KIM: “Or Ritalin, I don't care.”
Mr. Juan-Dize looked at the stapled pages, startled. “I’m… I’ve been recalled as director of Global Justice?” he gasped.
“It seams your superiors look down on someone using Global Justice to pursue a personal vendetta, even giving a known criminal access to Global Justice top secret equipment and letting her go free.” said Dr. Director. “That’s not even counting letting my brother, the head of Worldwide Evil Empire, escape just so you could chase after a young girl’s frightened pet.”
RON: “There is so much I can say about this paragraph that I don't know where to begin.”
KIM: “Ditto.”
Dr. Director leaned over the desk. “Get… out… of… my… chair.” she said, each word as hard and cold as a bullet.
Mr. Juan-Dize scrambled up. “You don’t understand… she’s dangerous, she’s a criminal… she’s not human…”
SHEGO: “Not understood, true. Dangerous, definitely. A criminal, certainly. Not human… (Lights up a hand) uh, can I plead the Fifth?”
“Will, escort Mr. Juan-Dize out of the building.” ordered Dr. Director, resuming her seat. “Then contact our U.N. representative… I need to ask him about seeing how long it will take to get a certain human-rights limitation revoked.”
“Yes ma’am!” said Will happily, firing off a snappy salute.
(All three duck)
RON: “Watch it! You could hurt some one!”
Dr. Director sat in her chair. Now to see how much harm that idiot has done, She thought firmly. I hope Kim, now that we’re not trying to take her pet away, will be willing to come back to working part-time for Global Justice.
THE END OF ‘SHEGO COLLARED’. COMMENTS / CRITICISM / SHAMELESS FLATTERY WELCOME.
SHEGO: “How about a 'snappy salute' of my own?” (Raises a hand and a finger)
KIM: “OK that's enough, we can leave now.”
1*2*3*4*5*6
Ron and Rufus were on the bridge, Ron wearing a collar with a leash attached. Rufus held the leash and appeared to be making Ron do pet tricks. At that moment, Kim and Shego strolled in, eating ice cream cones.
“Well it's finally happened; the buffoon has snapped,” Shego commented.
“OK, Ron,” Kim sighed. “I know there's a logical explanation for this, so let's hear it.”
Ron tilted his head and whined like a dog would. Rufus then waved his paw and nodded, giving the human permission to speak.
“It's like this, Kim; I was telling Rufus about Monique training your fan-fic counterpart and how it seemed to bring her closer to Fan-Fic Shego, so we decided to try a little role-reversal.” Rufus looked pleased and patted Ron on the head.
“I still think you've been in space too long,” Shego observed, hardly pausing in licking her mint chocolate-chip ice cream.
“Not that I'm worried or anything,” Kim began. “But has anyone wondered why we haven't heard from DNAmy since the rehabilitation started?”
Rufus chattered something and Ron tapped the control for the Hexfield. Rufus then rewarded him with a tortilla chip.
On the screen DNAmy appeared. She's slumped over a console, clutching her 'Otterfly' and snoring happily.
“Aw, isn't that a sweet, peaceful scene? She looks just like an angel when she's asleep,” Kim cooed. “Let's give her a rude awakening!”
“Whoa, Kimmie,” Shego said, pulling her back. “Let's just let her sleep for awhile.”
“But Shego! After what she did to us you're going to let her get away with it?”
“Now now, remember what Agent Du said? I figure that the space center staff AND the Global Justice agents are just now waking up and will soon be headed for the cafeteria for breakfast…”
“And they have to pass by the control room to get from the dorms!” Kim finished. “So we'll let THEM take care of Amy! You're a genius, Shego.”
“Of course I am,” She replied, as she and the teen heroine walked away. “Come on, I found a video game called 'Mad Scientist' and I want to see if you have what it takes to be a villain.”
“Bring it on, Kim Possible can do anything!”
At the console, Rufus snaps his fingers to get Ron's attention. “Poossa butin,” He commanded.
Ron obediently hit a button before him, causing the Hexfield to close with a “FWWWWOOOOSSSSHHH!”
Mystery Kimmie Theater 3000, “Shego Collared” was a MSTing of the Fan-fic “Shego Collared” by NoDrogs. The characters depicted are fictional and are the copyright property of the Walt Disney company. Kim Possible, Shego, Ron Stoppable and associated characters were created by Bob Schooly and Mark McCorkal.
No copyright infringement was intended and no profit was made.
Our thanks and best wishes to Kim Possible fans and MSTies everywhere.
Shake well before using.
TWWWWAAANNNNGGGG!
>“Then she and Gemini must be in cahoots!” said Avery. “Turn around and capture him! Get the truth from him!”<