Mystery Kigo Theatre 3000 of Maternal Instinct

Part Four

The Humbug

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6

TITLE: Mystery Kigo Theatre 3000 of Maternal Instinct

AUTHOR: The Humbug

DISCLAIMER: ‘Kim Possible’ and all characters within © The Walt Disney Company and its related entities and was created by Mark McCorkle & Bob Schooley. All rights reserved. `Mystery Science Theater 3000’ (MST3K) and all characters within © Best Brains, Inc. No profit is being collected from the fiction contained within. All MST3K dialog and `host segments’ are of my own creation, though many references are made to other sources and some have been pulled right from MST3K. Original Author's Disclaimer: Any original characters shown or mentioned belong to me and cannot be used without permission. Got it?

SUMMARY: This is an MST3K-style treatment of an amazing story, itself a Kim/Shego pairing fan fiction full of action and drama. Written with the full permission of the original author and with all the respect and appreciation due the original. Any notes and comments made by the original author have been excluded from this text.


RATING: US: PG-13 / DE: 12

Words: 20836

Chapter 7: “Momma I'm Coming Home”

Kim looked over her shoulder to see if she was still being followed. Sure enough the three agents of the Worldwide Evil Empire were still hot on her tail.

K: “Disney?”

She let out an irritated sigh

S: “The `sigh’ was actually both irritated AND inflamed.”

K: “Yeah, I should put some unguent on that.”

as she faced forward again and tried to think of a way to get rid of them. This was definitely not what she had in mind when she went to the mall today. She had planned to use the time to think things over, which is why she went alone, a decision she now regretted. Like many things in life, it seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she realized it was a mistake. At the time, though, she really did want to be alone so she could let her mind wander while browsing through the stores.

Unfortunately, her mind seemed to wander back to the same problem: Shin.

S: “You know, it's what the knee bones connected to.”

More specifically, how to keep her safe. It seemed Dave's vision had come true and villains were crawling out of the woodwork to get to her to get to Shego and her baby or vice versa. There had to be someway to hold them back until after Shin was born where Wade could set up a plethora of security systems around her

K: “… although the `bell around the neck’ concept needs more beta testing.”

, not to mention Shego finally being able to fight again. Until then, she just didn't know what she was going to do.

While caught up in those thoughts, she found her way into a jewelry story and stumbled upon something that she thought would make a perfect gift for Shego.

S: “Klutz!”

K: “OW! This perfect gift for Shego just broke my ankle!”

She wasn't sure why that thought crossed her mind, but it was something positive and she desperately needed it at the time. Of course, no sooner had she bought the item when seven W.E.E. agents appeared.

S: “Oh, and what `wee’ little agents they were, now! Let me see… there was Kigo and Porno, and Nympho and Klepto and Sleezy and Gimpy and Viral.”

K: “Ok, you are NOT going to EVER read any bedtime stories to our children!”

She had managed to take out four of them already and now just had to figure out how get ready of the three currently chasing her.

They're persistent I'll give `em that, she thought in annoyance.

She searched the area for something that might give her an advantage, but only found frightened mall walkers jamming store fronts to get out of the way. It seemed the mall kept all their sample carts on the first floor, so even trying to use one of those was out of the question. Just as she was about to give up on finding something useful, she spotted one of the support pillars a few short feet in front of her. With a slight smirk, she ran towards it at full speed, then jumped forward to bounce of the pillar and deliver a perfect spin kick to the chin of the man in the middle of the group.

K: “… who unfortunately was just an innocent senior citizen out for a day's shopping.”

She quickly recovered and back flipped over the two remaining W.E.E. to continue on her way. The two uniformed men stared at their fallen comrade for a moment, before they looked at each other then continued to follow Kim towards the escalators.

“Excuse me. Pardon me. Sorry,” Kim apologized as she pushed her way through the crowded escalator.

When she reached the bottom, she let out an exhausted breath which quickly turned into an irritated sigh

K: “Another irritated and enflamed sigh? I should see a doctor about these.”

when she heard a series of startled cries. She turned around to find the last two W.E.E. agents shoving the people on the escalator aside at they made their way towards her. She again looked to her surroundings for something useful, and smirked when she found the perfect item.

“Would you care for a free sample miss?” the blonde salesgirl asked as she held up a bottle of perfume.

S: “'Ode de Satan's Jockstrap’.”

K: “Naw, it was `Velvet Cudgel'”.

“No thanks, but I do need to borrow this real quick,” Kim replied as she reached for the bottle.


“Please and thank you,” she said quickly a she snatched the bottle and readied herself.

She watched carefully as the first agent off the escalator charged towards her, his arms held up high to grab her. She waited until he was practically on top of her before squeezing the small black rubber ball handle and sending a lilac scented cloud his way. The agent went into a gagging fit as he swallowed most of the perfume. Kim tossed the bottle back to the salesgirl then delivered a jump kick to the man's stomach that sent him stumbling backwards. Between the confusion of the perfume and the pain of the kick, he failed to notice the fence around the large pool like fountain in the middle of the common area until he tripped over it. His arms flailed as he flipped over the small picket fence and landed in the pond with a large splash. He let out a small groan as he floated on his back, apparently unconscious.

K: “NO! Not in the Piranha Exhibit!”

Kim stared at him for a moment to make sure that he was relatively alright, then turned back to the last remaining W.E.E. agent. They stood a few feet from each other, bodies tense and ready for a fight. By this time, the other mall patrons had moved away from the surrounding area so it was the two of them. Kim's face was harsh as she glared at him. Not only had he and his friends ruined a perfectly good afternoon, but she was completely fed up with not being able to leave her house without getting jumped by someone. It was time to take a stand, to set an example. And if this poor guy had to be that example, well it was his own fault.

K: “I know what you're thinking…”

S: “Ooh, that's good, Kimmie, keep it going!”

K: “… did I just make out with six cheerleaders or only five?”

She relaxed her posture just enough to bring her right arm up, turn her hand palm side up and flex her fingers in the universally accepted gesture of

S: “… screw you.”

“Bring it”.

S: “…oh…”

The agent's muscles seemed to tense up even more as his feet slid apart for sturdier ground. He stared at her hard and Kim could almost see his heated gaze through the black, one way goggles. He took a half step forward in preparation of his next move.

“Man, they ain't paying me enough for this,” he blurted out before running away.

A perplexed and oddly calm expression crossed Kim's face at the action.

K: “I am so HIGH right now, it isn't even funny.”

“Well that was certainly unexpected,” she muttered.

She let out a relieved sigh and relaxed her body. She knew she really should go after him and bring him to the police, or Global Justice, or someone but what she really wanted more than anything else was to go home. Knowing, that was probably for the best, she turned and started to head for the nearest exit. She'd tell Wade about the unconscious agents on her way home.

Yeah, that's the best plan. I just want to get home and try to relax before the next villain decides to show up, she thought. I just wish I knew how they all seem to know about Shin.

S: “… or is that attached to the ankle bone?”

Blackgate Prison was built specifically with super criminals in mind. It features the latest in state-of-the-art security for its cells, courtyard, fences and of course guards; which are double that of a normal prison. Unfortunately, this security measures are diminished somewhat by the public's knowledge of the prison and therefore it's compliancy to government regulations.

K: “… and their `open air’ incarceration program.”

Prisoners are required to have three meals a day, plenty of exercise and recreation time, and perhaps most unnerving, visitation rights. While most of the criminals held within Blackgate's wall are seen as only slightly above normal criminals in how dangerous they can be, letting them have contact with the outside world does put some people on edge, particularly the guards. But it was what people wanted, no matter the consequences.

One inmate that was quite happy with that arrangement was the blue skinned man the armored guards were escorting back to his cell. Though he was born Drew Lipsky, he is known the world over as Dr. Drakken. At least, he would like to think his is. In truth, most of the guards and other inmates failed to recognize him and often wondered why he was here. He never let these taunts get to him though, because he knew how brilliant he was even if no one else did. And he had gotten used to much more hurtful remarks from having worked with Shego for all those years.

S: “Hey, I wasn't that bad!”

K: “Mmmm… yes you were.”

S: “Ok, maybe I was.”

His grin grew wider when he thought of his traitorous ex-sidekick. The news he had just gotten made him happier then he had been in a long time and nothing could bring him down. He even nodded politely as the guards placed him back in his cell. He smirked at his cell mate, the man with the curiously long eyebrows and beard the curled up at the ends, as they left and couldn't help but let out a small maniacal chuckle. He turned around and glance back and fourth behind the plexiglass doors to see if the coast was clear before breaking into a full blown laugh.

“Excellent!” he shouted when he laughing fit died down. “Through the careful manipulations of my still loyal henchmen, I have been able to spread word through the villain community about Shego's…condition. Even as we speak, countless villains are tracking her down to use her as bait in their nefarious plans to get Kim Possible. So I will have killed two birds with one stone! I will finally be rid of Kim Possible and teach Shego the price for betraying Dr. Drakken!”

K: “… and after that, Rockford is a dead man!”

“Alright already!” his cell mate exclaimed. “Heard this all before! Great, you're finally gonna get your arch rival, good for you. Now if you don't mind, some of us have our own plan of revenge to work on. And mine involves complete torment of my mortal enemy. I've already gotten word that his two boys have been killed and while he is grieving over them, my henchmen shall slowly, but surely take away everything else he holds dear, slowly driving him to the brink of madness. Only when he is begging me for death will I grant him that sweet release, after he has learned the wrath of The Monarch!”

S: “Wait… this guy is a super villain and he's named after a butterfly?”

K: “Well, `Papillon’ was already taken.”

“Pfft, and he complains about me,” Drakken muttered under his breath.

Kim smiled when she stepped into her house, thankful not to have had any more trouble on her way home. Over the last few weeks, she had to deal with everyone from DNAmy to Monkey Fist, even Adrena Lynn showed up to torment her, and now she had to worry about W.E.E.

S: “Bladder control problems, Princess?”

K: “NO! No, I… just can't hold it for as long as you think I can!”

It seemed like everybody knew about Shego's baby and they all wanted it for some reason or another. Of course, she was determined not to let that happen, but she had to admit to herself it was all rather exhausting. More so than her usual world saving exploits.

K: “… and selling `Grit’ on weekends.”

But she wasn't going to think about that right now. She was home and that was her time to stop being Kim Possible; world saver and just be Kim Possible; teenager.

S: “… and start being `Kim Possible, crack whore’.”

Soon enough though that resume would have to included Kim Possible; mother.

Or rather co-mother, she corrected. Yeah, I think that works the best. Definitely keeps thing less confusing. You know, while I'm thinking of her…

Kim patted something in her pocket

K: “What has it gots in its pocketses, eh?”

before she made her way through the living room and down the hall to the guest room Shego was currently using. She knocked lightly on the door so as not to disturb her too much. When there was no answer, she assumed Shego was asleep and decided to come back later.

Or, she thought, pausing mid-step. I could leave it in there was as a surprise.

A sly grin crossed her face as she settled on that idea and turned back to the door. She reached for the knob and slowly twisted it, cringing a bit at the overly loud noise it made. The latch slid back with its customary “click” and Kim found herself a bit surprised as the door swung open.

K & S: “SURPRISE! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Bir…”

She's either become really trusting or really careless, she thought as she sunk into the room.

She made her way over to the bed as quietly as she could, acting more like she was sneaking into a mad scientist's lair rather than a room of her own house. When she got to the next stand next to the bed, she reached into her pocket and pulled out a small, green velvet box. She placed it on the night stand and gave it one final tap before she turned to leave the room. She stopped, however, when she caught sight of Shego's sleeping form just scant inches away from her. The pale skinned woman was sleeping on her right side, and though her body was mostly covered by a blanket, Kim was sure the other pillow to the bed was stuffed between her legs to help support her back. Kim was always surprised by the change that seemed to happen to Shego when she was asleep. Gone was the fiery, sarcastic woman who would just as soon punch you as look at you and replaced with someone soft, fragile, and content.

S: “Yeah, I'm fragile, you putz!”

But mostly peaceful, she thought with a gentle smile. I just can't get over that. It's just completely different from what I'd expect from Shego.

The serene scene was brought to an abrupt end when the woman in question let out a loud, phlegm filled snore.

K: “… and a prolonged fart.”

Yeah that's more what I expect from Shego, Kim thought wearily.

With that, she turned and left the room as quiet as she had come in. After she closed the door, she made her way through the house again towards her own room, intending to follow Shego's example and take a quick nap. Her geometry homework would just have to wait for later. Unfortunately, as she ascended the stairs she couldn't help but feel this overwhelming sense of dred. She knew it was stupid though cause if there was someone else in the house, they wouldn't have left Shego alone. Plus, knowing her brothers they were probably be more evidence of a fight. At least something would be destroyed.

“Great, now I'm paranoid too,” she muttered.

K: “I am not! Who's been saying that? WHO?!?”

She shook it off and continued up the stairs to her room. It was only when she reached the top step that she realized that

S: “… there was no second floor.”

K: “Aaaaaa!”

the feeling wasn't wrong. She stood frozen as she simply stared in stunned amazement at the monstrosity sitting right in front of her bed.

S: “Rosanne Barr?”

There, resting on an artist's stand was a poster sized picture of herself sitting on the couch in dirty and torn mission clothes and there next to her was Shego in a green sweater and black sweat pants. They were leaning against one another in sleep and looked perfect picture of contentment. Judging by the fact that someone actually had taken a picture of them like that, it was apparently true. It wasn't just the fact that there was a giant picture of her and Shego sleeping next to each other that upset her, it was also the words superimposed over it that really made her blood boil.

“Kim and Shego…” floated above them while “Sitting in a tree…” hung down by their ankles. Though the old rhyme went uncompleted, it's meaning was crystal clear. She knew of only two people who were not only devious enough to pull a stunt like this but also had easy access to her room to do it.



Her roar echoed throughout the house, reaching two sets of ears in particular.

“Looks like she found it,” Jim smirked.

“Oh yeah,” Tim agreed, equally amused. “Move on to phase two?”


Even as the twins set about the next stage of their plan, Kim's thundering footsteps and angered mutters could be heard rushing down the stairs. Her first stop was, of course, their room but a quick kick in of the door revealed it to be empty. She let out a frustrated puff then began to stalk the rest of the house with various forms of punishment floating through her mind. Her final stop was the kitchen where she found her parents preparing dinner. They shared a look before turning towards their daughter.

“Kim is that you making all that noise?” Mrs. Dr. Possible asked.

“Where are they!” Kim snapped, ignoring the question.

“Who? You're brothers?” Mr. Dr. Possible asked.

“Yes! Where are they? I need to…talk to them?”

K: “Yeah… talk to them HARD…”

“Is it about this?” Mrs. Dr. Possible asked, holding up a smaller copy of the picture.

Kim gasped in horror. “They made copies!”

“Oh come on honey, I think it's cute.”

S: “… and mailed a copy to Pregnant Gay Villain Monthly.”

“It's not cute it's just…” she seemed to flatter for the right word. “Just…where are they!”

“I think they went outside,” Mr. Dr. Possible stated almost absentmindedly. “But Kim remember I don't-”

The rest of his advice went unheeded as red haired streak shot out of the kitchen, followed quickly by the sound of the front door slamming shut. Again the Possible parents looked at each other in concern.

“Do you think we should try to stop her?” Mr. Dr. Possible asked.

“I don't think she'll listen to us right now,” Mrs. Dr. Possible replied. “Besides, as much as she talks bad about them, their still her brothers and I don't think she'll hurt them…too badly. At least I hope not.”

K: “… otherwise we'd lose them as dependants on our income taxes.”

“Maybe we should be more concerned about this.”

“Oh sweety, lighten up, their siblings they're suppose to fight.”

“No I meant this,” he clarified, holding up the picture.

“What about it? Like I said, I think it's cute.”

K & S: “And HAWT!”

“Maybe, but I'm not so sure. I mean, what if…”

“What if…what?” Ann Possible prodded, staring intently at her husband.

“Well they are awfully close in this picture,” he said, inspecting the picture again.

S: “… gasp… It is the Bogarde!”

“Shego is carrying Kim's child. It's only natural for them to get closer.”

“But how close? You remember what it was like when you were pregnant with Kim.”

K: “… so… I got my Mom pregnant, too?”

S: “… not… going… to… kill…”

A wistful smile crossed Ann's face as the memory of her first pregnancy was instantly called up. While she didn't care for the morning sickness, or the mood swings, or the extra weight she had to burn off afterwards, what she did like was how her husband had been so attentive and loving to her during that time. Indeed their love had strengthened through those nine long months. But it also brought up the point she knew he was hinting at. She sighed as she laid the spoon she had been stirring with down and turned to fully face her husband.

“So what if this did happen? Would you love our daughter any less?” she asked sternly, crossing her arms over her chest.

S: “Probably.”

K: “Hey!”

“No, of course not,” he said sincerely. “It would be an adjustment that's for sure, but I wouldn't stop loving her. I'm just concerned for her happiness. If this does turn into something more then not only will she have to deal with her own confusion and societal pressures, but also…”

“Also what?”

“Well I'm just not sure if I trust Shego. She was a villainess after all.”

K: “… and she's been so… SO… very naughty…”

Ann sighed again and took the picture from his hand to hold it up to his face.

“Look at this picture James,”

S: “Take a good, long, steamy look!”

she told him. “Does this look like the same Shego that worked for Dr. Drakken?”

K: “It sort of looks like a vase.”

S: “Hm, it looks like two faces, to me.”

“Well…uh…no,” he stammered, caught off guard by the seriousness in her voice.

“No it doesn't. To me it looks like the mother of Kim's child and the woman who risked her life to save mine a few weeks ago.” She lowered the picture and her expression softened as she brought her left hand up to his cheek. “If you can't trust her, then I know you can at least trust me and my judgement.”

“Of course I can,” he replied, placing his hands gently on her hips. “You've never let me down before. But if she does anything to hurt my little Kimmie-cub…”

“I know dear, I know.”

“Am I interrupting something?” a new, but familiar voice asked.

S: “Just our morning `quickie’, Kimmie-cub!”

K: “Eww!”

They quickly jumped out of their impromptu embrace in surprise and turned to see the woman they were talking about standing in the kitchen doorway. Her groggy appearance and light green pajamas told them that she had been rather rudely awaken from a peaceful sleep.

“Who's screaming bloody murder out here?” Shego asked, still trying to rub the sleep from her eyes.

“That would be Kim,” Ann told her. “She found something the boys made and is a little upset over it.”

Shego gave her a questioning look and despite her better judgement, Ann handed her the picture. She stared a bit blankly as her still cloudy mind took a few seconds to process exactly what she was seeing. When it finally did kick in, her reaction was much like Kim's in that her eye grew wide from shock at first then narrowed in anger as she snarled and balled her free hand up into a fist.

“Oh they are gonna fry for this,” she growled as she ignited her fist, burning the picture in the process.

“No!” Ann stated forcefully, surprising both Shego and James. “Shego, I know you're upset about this but I will not have you hurting my boys.”

K: “… and my boys need a house!”

“Yes,” James added. “I said when you first moved in here that would have to follow the rules of the house and we don't condone the serious hurting of family members.”

“Besides,” Ann spoke again, most softly this time as she step forward and placed a hand on Shego's stomach,

S: “… oh, yeah, momma likes that…”

K: “You know it!”

“you don't like it that all these villains are trying to hurt your child, do you?”

Shego stared at her for a long time as she tried to come up with some reason on how this situation was different, but she just couldn't. She knew Ann was right, and no matter how annoying the twins were they were still her children and part of the family Shego now found herself a part of. But that didn't mean would just let this slide.

“Fine,” she related, powering down. “I won't hurt them.” Too much, she add mentally.

“Good,” Ann smiled. “Maybe you could also stop Kimmie from hurting them too. She was rather…tweaked at them and, well you know how she can get when she's mad.”

“All too well,” Shego smirked. “I'll try but I'm not making any promises.”

“That's all we ask,” James spoke up.

“So where is the Princess anyway?”

“Outside,” both Drs. Possible answered.

Shego was taken a bit off guard by the simultaneous answers, but nodded anyway and waddled her way outside. After finding nothing except the leavings of one of the neighbor's dogs in the front yard, she made her way around to the back and instantly spotted Kim searching the area intently. She stopped long enough for Shego to get close, but even still her eyes continued to dart around.

“Still haven't found them, huh?” Shego remarked.

Kim quirked an eyebrow. “How did you…?”

“Your mom showed me the picture.”

K: “Was it the `draw Tippy’ picture?”

S: “No, this was the `draw the pirate’ one.”

“Oh. Well trust me I plan to make them pay for that.”

“Actually, your mom sent me out here to talk you out of hurting them.”

They stared at each other silently for several seconds.

“So?” Kim ventured.

“So after we blow `em both to hell pick up some big pieces so we can say we tried.,” Shego replied.

A devious smile crossed Kim's face at that remark. It was soon copied by Shego before the two set out again to find Jim and Tim. Despite the women's exactly tracking skills, were equally, if not more so, adept at hiding. They searched behind bushes and up trees and even on the roof of the house and couldn't find anything. Just when it seemed like they had lost the two boys, a rustle came from the last tree they had to check. Kim sprinted forward like a blood hound chasing a scent, completely ignoring the suspicious patch of grass in front of the tree.

“Kim wait!” Shego cautioned, but it was too late.

Before she knew what was happening, Kim found herself trapped in a giant

K: “… peach?”

net that was being lifted off the ground.

K: “… oh…”

She watched in frustration as her brothers slid down the tree with a rope in each hand and tie them securely to the trunk when they reached the ground. She grunted angrily as she tried to find away out of the net.

“Ha! Gotcha!” they shouted together.

“But you don't have me,” Shego said in a softly, deadly tone.

“No,” Tim replied calmly.

“But we can outrun you,” Jim added, equally as calm.

“Probably. But can you out run this!” she exclaimed as she lit up both her fists.

“Oh no!” the twins shouted before they started to run.

They deftly dodged her attacks as they made a mad dash to the garage. Shego growled and slowly started to walk towards it, her hands still engulfed in green and black plasma. Right as her hand reached for the doorknob, the main door opened and the two shot out the garage on rocket powered scooters. She set a few more blasts their way and considered chasing after them, but knew it'd be useless with their speed and her condition. Instead she just sighed and walked back over to where Kim was still hanging. As she looked up at the struggling teen hero, she couldn't help by chuckle a bit.

“Need some help?” she asked cheerfully.

“You're enjoying this, aren't you?” Kim grumbled.

“Little bit, yeah.”

“Just get me down.”


With one swift, swipe of her plasma charged hand, she cut the ropes holding the net up and sent Kim crashing to the ground with a loud whelp. When she realized what she had done, Shego tried to move forward to catch the girl, but found her legs unable to move fast enough. She closed her eyes and cringed at the dull “thud” sound Kim's body made when it hit the ground. She peaked one eye open to find the red head sitting on the grass and rubbing her sore backside.

S: “Ooo… you just lay back and let momma kiss that and make it better…”

She wanted to crouch down next to her to check on her, but found that difficult as well and simple stood over her.

“Sorry,” Shego offered. “Guess I didn't think about what I was doing. I would have caught you, but well…”

“I know, I know,” Kim muttered as she stood up. “And I'm fine, except for my sore butt. My pride took must of the bruising.”

“No kidding,” Shego smirked. “Course how do you think I feel that not only did they get away from me, but they were able to catch you a lot faster than I ever could.”

“Well now you know why I was so good at avoid those traps.”

S: “Nothing?”

“Guess so.”

“Yeah,” Kim sighed. “Now lets get inside. I could really use a rest after everything that happened today.”

K: “Nope.”

Thought slightly confused by the statement, Shego nodded and followed Kim back inside the house. After a quick explanation and apology to her parents, Kim went into the living room where she helped Shego sit down on the couch before collapsing onto it herself with loud, tired sigh. She stretched her arms out on the back of the couch as she laid her head back and closed her eyes, relishing the moment of peace and quiet.

Which was promptly interrupted by the familiar tone of the Kimmunicator.

“Not now,” she groaned.

S: “Me, neither.”

“You know, you could just not answer it,” Shego said nonchalantly as she flipped through the channels.

“Yeah,” Kim replied absently, then seriously began to consider it. “Yeah…I suppose I could. But…no I can't. If people need help I have to help them.”

“You're just too nice for your own damn good.”

“Maybe,” she muttered as she pulled the Kimmunicator out of her pocket. “What's the sitch Wade?”

“You got a hit on the sight about something going down at the Go City Bird Sanctuary,” Wade informed.

“Go City?” Kim repeated before she and Shego cast each other strange looks. “Uh…Wade not to sound disrespectful or anything, but doesn't Team Go usually handle things out there? I mean it is their city.”

“That's what I thought to, but the message specifically requested you,” Wade countered.

“I don't know, it still doesn't feel right. Maybe if-” She stopped herself when a thought occurred. She cast a sly glance over towards Shego, who seemed oblivious to her actions, before she turned her attention back to Wade. “You know what? I think I will go. Set up a ride and call Ron to tell him to be ready.”

“Okay,” Wade replied, feeling a little suspicious about her sudden change of heart. “I'll call you back with the details in a bit.”

“Thanks Wade,” Kim said before shutting off the device.

“So you actually decided to go, huh?” Shego retorted. “Well have fun.”

“Oh I'm sure I will. And I'm not going alone,” the red head replied.

Shego turned her head towards Kim at the slightly mischievous tone she used and the raven haired woman's fears were confirmed when she noticed a matching glint in Kim's eyes.

S: “Hey, Kimmie, check this out… I'm about to do my `Movie Riffing - Magic Eight Ball’ trick!”

K: “Huh?”

S: “Just watch.”

“Why do I get the feeling you're not just talking about Stoppable?” she asked, mostly to herself.

“Because I'm not. I want-” Kim started.

S: “Is Kimmie ever going to graduate out of her training bra?”

“No!” Shego spat vehemently.

K: “What? Hey, that's not funny!”

“But it's-”

S: “Has Kimmie ever made it with a boy?”


K: “You are so dead!”

“Come on-”

S: “Nyah, nyah!”

K: “Ok, then… are Shego's boobs real?”


S: “That's not fair!”

“Just this-”

K: “Can Shego even look at a piece of cake without gaining weight?”


S: “You skinny little brat!”

K: “Ok, I'm sorry. Calm down. You'll like this one…”


K: “Are all of those morons at `Wikipedia’ who keep deleting the `Kigo’ entry ever going to move out of their parent's basement?”

“NO!” she shouted louder. “No, no, no, no!

S: “Booyah!”

K: “See? Forgive me?”

S: “Always, Pumpkin!”

I'm not going!”

“But your family's there!” Kim protested.

“Which is exactly why I'm not going. In case you didn't notice the last time, I don't really get along that well with my brothers.”

“But they're your family. They have a right to know about…” she finished the sentence by laying a hand on Shego's plumb belly.

“No they really don't,” she insisted.

“Aww…please?” Kim pleaded again, her lower lip starting to quiver.

“Oooh no. No, you're not getting me with that!” Shego remarked, knowing what was coming.

“With what?” the red head asked, her voice taking on a cute pleading tone.

“I'm not seeing you,” the older woman replied as she focused all her attention on the TV.

S: “And I can't hear you… la la la la la la la la la!”

Despite her best efforts though, she could still make out the frame of Kim's face out of the corner of her eye and it immediately sprang to Shego's mind what she was doing. She held up her left hand to completely block visual from sight, but that too was foiled as slowly but surely, Kim's pouting head came into Shego's view as the red head leaned towards her.

“Gah!” Shego screamed out in surprise as she tried to avert her gaze.

But, alas, it was too late. She had seen the Puppy Dog Pout and already it had burned itself into her retina. That sad, pathetic looking face just asking her to do one little thing. Who could she say “no”?

“Fine!” she finally agreed with an annoyed sigh. “You know one of these days that isn't going to work.”

Kim merely replied with a triumphant smirk as she ran off to get ready for the mission.

The Go City Bird Sanctuary was a fairly large building furnished nearly top to bottom with trees and shrubbery of all kinds. A large creek ran through most of the habit which necessitated the need for small wooden bridges for visitors. They were slightly curved to appear rustic and add to the serene settings. Only the most large and dangerous birds were fenced off so that at any given time, attendees could see various birds flying and nesting throughout the indoor forest. Many found it to be a beautiful and peaceful place where they could come and get away from the hectic city life for a few hours.

K: “Ok, so the place is like a frigging Thomas Kincaid painting! We GET it!”

All of this, was during the day however. At night, the lights went off and the building was locked up like most of the other buildings in the city. Unlike most of the others, the Sanctuary's security was rather lax since it decided that no one would ever really want to break into it as there was nothing valuable to steal. The birds themselves were all rather common so even exotic animal collectors left it alone.

This lapse in security made it easy for someone to sneak into the building and hide out until it was closed and locked. Especially when one dressed himself up like a bird and could therefore blend in with the surroundings. And one such man did. He was a man well known to the law enforcement of Go City, in particular it's super hero protectors.

S: “… known to many as the San Diego Chicken.”

He stepped out of his hiding spot among the bushes and chuckled manically as he stepped into the pale moonlight provided the skylight above him.

“Yes, soon, very soon now Kim Possible will be here and once I have her, Shego will come to save her. Then when I have her, the rest of Team Go will show up to save her. Then, then I can destroy them all at once and the city will finally belong to me, Aviarius!” he ranted as he threw his hands up into the air excitedly.

A loud, long manically laughed filled the air quickly mixed with the irritated chirps of birds woken from their slumber by the madman.

To Be Continued…

The house lights flared to life up on the `Satellite Of Love’.

“I'm blind!” Kim raised her arms to cover eyes. “I sure wish that there was some sort of warning before they're going to do that!” She blinked and looked around, noticing that Shego was already standing and shuffling towards the door at the rear of the theater.


“Hm? Oh… Kimmie. You coming?”

“Sure.” The redhead stood and moved to join her. “You Ok?”

“Yeah…” If her expression was any indication of her true feelings, the villain was feeling pretty low. Together they left the small theater and ambled back through the series of doors to the control room and Kim paused to inspect the readings on the multicolored panel. Shego was only a few feet away, the chamber not being large enough than to be any further than that, and the pale green woman stared silently through a nearby portal at the Earth rotating far below.

“Can you make heads or tails of this stuff? From hanging out in lairs and more than a few satellites I'd expect that you'd know how to operate one of these.” There was no reply.

“Kim to Shego. Come in, Shego.” There was no response and no reaction to her words. The slender girl slipped closer but not so quickly as to evoke an automatic defense reaction; she coughed and scuffed her feet but the taller woman never moved. Kim ultimately saw no other recourse but to reach out and place her hand on the woman's shoulder.

“Shego…?” The thief and henchwoman jolted to attention, suddenly realizing that the younger woman was standing right beside her. She hastily rubbed at her eyes and sniffled; she had been crying.

“Baby, what's wrong?”

“Nothing! Nothing, I just…” She breathed deeply. “This is just a little hard for me, Ok?”

“What? What's hard?” Kim's hand had not moved. “Tell me what is wrong!”

“Kimmie, most of the girls I knew from back home are already married and have kids.”

“Ok. So?”

“So… I'm older than you. If things had gone different for me… if my life had been different, maybe I'd have already had a baby or two by now.” She rubbed at her face again.

“Do… do you want kids?”

“Well, maybe! I don't mean right now, right this second, but YEAH, eventually… and it doesn't look like there's much chance of that happening anytime soon.” Shego glanced away from the window and down at the girl beside her. “Not that it has anything to do with us being together. That's not much of an issue anymore, these days.”

“… I… um, kind of thought that's what you meant…” Kim looked as if she wanted to disappear.

“Doy!” Shego gave her `foe’ a one-armed hug. “There're ways around that, I know. I mean, if female celebrities with female partners can be artificially inseminated, Hell, so could I.” Shego gave Kim a squeeze. “So could you, for that matter. It's just that we've been watching this movie and I see… myself… carrying a baby and it just brought my insecurities home to roost all at once.”

“I understand.” Kim returned the squeeze. “And you have nothing to worry about.”

“Oh, yeah? If you make one smart-ass comment about me having `child-bearing hips’, I'll blacken your eye.”

“No, so quit bugging!” Kim giggled. “I know girls my age who've already had a baby and they were way too young. You're the perfect age!”

“How so?”

“Well, for one thing you're old enough to get your own prescription! And then…” Kim stopped when she felt herself being slowly turned around and Shego was now before her, looking down pointedly into her eyes. The pale green face was a mask of puzzlement.

“Kimmie, prescription for what?”

“Doy! Baby pills, silly!” Kim grinned widely. “You've got false ID, right? Just see a doctor and tell him you want to have a baby and he'll send you to the pharmacist.”


“You know, baby pills? Women take them to get pregnant.” Kim looked incredulously up at her lover. “Work with me here… one for a single, two or more for multiples? Nothing? Please don't tell me that your mother never explained this to you!” Her eyes widened. “Geez, no wonder you're so upset! She should have told you about this when you hit puberty like my Mom did!”

“Pumpkin, look me straight in the eyes and tell me that you did not just say…”

“B-A-B-Y-P-I-L-L-S.” Kim spoke slowly, as if to a toddler. “Some girls must sneak them from their mother's dresser drawer or something because that's how my Mom said that Margie in sixth period English got…”

“Uh, Princess… how about you explain it to me right now.” Shego looked deeply into those eyes, so much the color of her own, for fever or insanity. Or low blood sugar.

“Well, there isn't much more to tell, really.” Kim shrugged. “You see your doctor about getting a prescription for your own bottle of baby pills a few days before you get married. You take one either on your wedding night or whenever you want to have a baby. They take nine months to work, and then `presto'… the baby is born! At least that's how Mom explained it to me.”

Shego crossed her arms and took her time to examine the sitch before speaking.

“So tell me, does a stork fly down to the parent's house to actually bring them the baby?”

“Shego…” Kim patiently took the taller woman's hand and held it tight. “That would be a pretty silly explanation for how babies are born, now wouldn't it?”

They looked at each other for several seconds, until…



“Heh, heh… that's, uh… ha… that's pretty…” Shego raised her hand to cover her face as she snorted and choked. Her eyes were watering again and she was short of breath but she certainly didn't seem to be upset any more.

“Do you feel better?”

“BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!” Clutching her sides, the woman in the black and green jumpsuit walked around in a lazy circle and cackled.


“BWAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH!” Pausing her motion but not her laughter, Shego leant down to plant a sloppy kiss on her young lover's lips and she staggered back towards the theater on unsteady legs. Her laughter could be heard all the way back down the hallway and through each of the doors separating one room from the other.

“Hmm. I guess that cheered her up. I told her that she had nothing to worry about.” Kim remained in the control room with a confused frown on her mug until a blinking light on the control panel caught her attention. “Whoops, movie sign!” She quickly ran towards the theater where the film was starting again…

Chapter 8: “And They Say You Can't Go Home Anymore”

S: “…heh, heh… Ok, time to watch the movie… heh…”

K: “What did I say that was so funny?”

S: “Never mind, Pumpkin. Never mind.”

I've been gone for a while

Made some changes in my style

And they say you can't go home anymore

K: “Crap, is this a songfic?”

S: “I hate songfics!”

Well the streets all look the same

K: “… where everybody knows your name…”

S: “NORM!”

And I'll have to play the game

S: “… geez, this is so laim…”

We'll all sit around in the kitchen chairs

K: “… and fall down some stairs…”

With the TV on and the neighbors there

S: “… pouring maple syrup into my hair…”

Drive into town

K: “… with my britches down…”

When this big bird touches down

I'm only comin’ home to say goodbye

K: “'AMF’, turkeys!”

Then I'm gone with the wind

S: “POOT!”

And I won't be seen again

K: “Hey, where'd she…?”

Till that great suburban showdown in the sky

K & S: “Laud, Laud!”

Till that great suburban showdown in the sky

Got that right, Shego silently agreed with the song.

S: “I agree with that.”

K: “Shh! Silently!”

She had been paying closed attention to the songs on the radio throughout the trip to make her forget about where exactly she was heading. She had actually shuddered a bit when they reached the limits to Go City and just hoped this would all be over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.

She also listened intently to the radio to block out the sights and sounds of the very odd ride Kim had acquired from the airport to get into Go City. At least that part was coming to an end very soon as she spotted the sign for the Bird Sanctuary and felt the car coming to a stop. She practically jumped out of the vehicle when it did and waited impatiently for the other two to join her. But of course Kim had to do her usual routine of thanking the driver first.

“Thanks for the ride Mr. Stroker,” Kim said as she leaned against the passenger window a bit.

“Hey just call me Stroker,”

S: “Stroker Ace!”

the red haired detective replied. “And it was no problem after the way you helped me and Hoop with that case.”

“`Help’? Try `Practically solving the whole thing by herself’,” the car itself remarked.

“Shut the hell up C.A.R.R. So anyway, Kim, if you ever need any help, you know where you can find me,” Stroker said, giving her a finger

K: “Hey! Rude son of a bit…”

gun point.

K: “Oops, sorry…”

“Thanks, but I'm fine,” she replied as she stood up and walked over to Shego and Ron.

“Still, if you need anything…”

“You're pathetic,” C.A.R.R. muttered.

“What did I just tell you? You know what? I'm switching over to manual drive.”

“No you can't!”

Kim chuckled to herself as the bickering continued even as the orange and black car drove out of sight. Shego, however, stared at it with morbid curiosity before she turned back to Kim.

S: “Did you understand any of that?”

K: “Not a bit.”

“Do I even want to know what you did for that guy?” she asked.

K: “Well, I was working this private detectives convention in Las Vegas, and…”

“It was no big,” Kim waved it off.

“Whatever. Since we're here can we just get this show on the road?”

“So what do you think someone wants to take from a bird sanctuary?” Ron asked, drawing both their attentions. “Oh! I bet it's some really rare, thought to be extinct bird that could be like cloned for an army or something.”

S: “Dodo's made of liquid metal.”

“Yeah right,” Shego scoffed.

“Hey, it could happen.”

“Yeah, it could but given where we are the only person who could possibly be in there is Aviarius and something like that's waaay to smart for him.”

“So what do you think he wants?” Kim asked.

“I dunno,” Shego shrugged. “A new home maybe? Or maybe he wants us to wonder unwillingly into stupid and inept death trap.”

“Then you think it's a trap.”


“But we know it's a trap,” Ron spoke up, cupping his chin in thought. He then gasped. “What if it's another trap trap!”

“First of all,” Shego countered, “only Dr. D would come up with something that stupid and secondly that's giving Aviarius way too much credit.”

K: “Act now and get free credit with nothing down!”

“So you think just a normal trap,” Kim surmised.


“But if we know it's a trap then we can avoid it,” Ron said.

“Exactly. And since he's no doubt expecting us, it would be rude not to show up. Ron you're with me, Shego stay here and-”

“Oh I don't think so Princess,” Shego retorted.

Kim balked then stared sternly at her. “Shego, you can't come in there. It's too dangerous for you in-”

“If the end of that sentence is `your condition’ I'm going to smack you,” the pale woman replied, just as sternly.

The two glared at each other for a moment as Ron tried to figure out what to do to defuse the situation. Thankfully, it resolved itself when Shego's expression softened up a bit.

“Look, I know you're concerned for me and the baby and I appreciate that, I really do,” she said. “But you can't protect me all the time and eventually I am going to get back out there, so I should do as much as I can so I don't get too rusty. Besides, if I can't handle Aviarius then just hand me the Martha Stewart apron right now.”

S: “… and next, Martha will show us how to whittle a centerpiece out of a bar of soap!”

Kim looked as if she was about to put another protest, but let it go with a sigh as she expression softened as well.

“Alright,” she relented. “But if things start to go really bad in there…”

“I'll find some place to hide. But trust me, I really doubt that will happen.”

Kim nodded and with the decision made, they three walked towards the main entrance and not surprisingly, found it unlocked. They quickly and quietly made their way through the small titled area where the information booth stood and stepped into the indoor forest that made up most of the building. The irritated shrieks of birds disturbed from their nightly slumber immediately told them that something was wrong. Despite that sign, there was still nothing obviously wrong, which meant whatever Aviarius had planned, he at least thought it out well enough to hide it. The three looked amongst themselves before silently agreeing on moving forward. The second they did though, a nozzle carefully hidden in a tree sprang to life and sprayed a mist over them. They coughed and gagged at its foul odor and taste, but beyond that felt no ill effects.

K: “Hm, sounds like a perfect description for `Coke Zero’.”

Before they could even begin to wonder what the attack was suppose to do, a bright light shone off to their right sides. It was coming from the one notable piece of technology in the area; a large control room built protruding from the far right wall several feet above them.

“Welcome, my unfortunate guests,” Aviarius’ voice boomed over the intercom. “To my Aviary of Doom!”

“What of Doom?” Ron asked to no one in particular.

“Aviary! My aviary!” the voice answered back. When he noticed Ron still looked confused, the villain sighed. “My Big Bird House. Of Death!”

“I thought it was Doom?” Ron asked again, this time talk to Rufus, who merely shrugged.

“Doom, death it's the same thing. Now, prepare for your destruction!”

“Dude, just pick one.”

K: “Hey, he's building a little birdhouse for your soul.”

“Look, can we just get on with this?” Shego snapped.

“Yes, of course,” Aviarius replied. “Now you may be wondering what I sprayed you with just now. Don't worry, it's not harmful in and of itself, but it is part of serum I've been working on that would bring out violent attack behavior in certain birds. Like say…these hawks with their razor sharp talons !”

S: “… or this pigeon with a really big-ass GUN!”

A buzzer sounded somewhere off to their left,

K: “Sorry, time's up! And the real answer is…!”

following quickly by the clanging of metal on metal and the flapping of wings. Soon enough a group of seven hawks flew overhead and while they seemed to ignore the three humans as first, their attitudes quickly changed and they began to swoop towards their unsuspecting prey.

“Get down!” Kim ordered as she ducked.

Ron and Shego did as she said and they were able to avoid the first set of attacks. Unfortunately, as they stood to run for cover, one of the hawks focused in on Kim and dove for her a break neck speeds. With no time to dodge, she simply held her arm to keep the bird at bay. It locked its talons around her forearm, creating red gashes at they tore through her clothes and pecked at her wildly. Kim let out a yelp of pain as she tried to get the bird of prey to let go.

“Kim!” Shego cried out as she powered up her right hand.

“I got it!” Kim shouted back.

She then reached into one of the pockets of her belt and pulled out a tube of lipstick. She held it towards the hawk and prayed it was the right one. Upon feeling the hidden button near the base, she smiled then slammed her thumb down on it. A pink, sticky goo shot forward and incased the hawk's beak, startling it and causing it to let go as it tried to free itself. Kim let out another groan as she put the lipstick weapon away and looked at her arm.

“KP! Are you OK?” Ron asked as he walked over to her.

“I think I'll be fine,” she replied, looking at the four red streaks. “They don't seem to be too deep. But we need to end this quickly.”

“You want it done quick? Let me just fry all the things and we done with it,” Shego offered.

S: “Mmm… hot wings! Hey, we got any pizza left…?”

“Shego!” Kim admonished. “You can't do that, they're just animals! It's Aviarius’ fault their attacking us.”

K: “Yeah! `Hot wings’ is murder!”

“So what do you suggest we do, gum `em all?”

“I dunno. But we can't hurt them.”

“They're coming back!” Ron shouted, pointing over the girls’ heads.

K: “The killer birds?”

S: “No, multicolored leg warmers. Of course, he means the frigging BIRDS!”

Again the group of hawks swoop down to attack what they thought was prey. The three humans dodged the attacks once again, however, a certain pink mole rat did not. It was only when he heard the high pitched scream did Ron realize his friend was missing. He looked up to find him firmly in the grip one of the bird's talons.

“Rufus!” Ron called out.

K: “You can kiss that rat goodbye…”

“I got it,” Kim said as she pulled out her grappling gun.

She fired the line towards the offending hawk and

S: “… accidentally speared Rufus through the chest.”

perfectly hooked its leg. It let out a squawk of surprise and fear and dropped Rufus as it tried to detach itself from the metal hook. Rufus let his own scream of terror as he fell towards the ground.


A quick diving catch from Ron saved him from going splat.

K: “Damn…”

Even as they let out twins sighs of relief, they noticed another hawk barreling down on them. Its attack was aborted when Kim swung the one she still had grappled towards it and knocked them both out of the air. Ron placed Rufus in his pocket then scurried back over to where Kim and Shego stood.

“Thanks KP,” he said.

“No big. But now we need to find some kind of cover,” Kim replied.

“Yeah but where?”

S: “… and at this time of night?”

Kim searched the area for something that might answer the question and found a patch of bushes in one of the few grass patches not near a tree.

“There!” she replied, pointing to them.

The other two nodded and followed her towards them as quickly as they could while also fending off more attacks. Kim helped Shego duck into the bushes before she herself dived into them right as another hawk came down and cut a piece of her pant leg off.

S: “First hawks and now a duck.”

K: “Why a duck?”

S: “Viaduct?”

K: “Viaduct and via no chicken?”

S: “Forget it, Kimmie. No one else even watches The Marx Brothers anymore…”

She checked to make sure that was the only thing that was cut and was relieved not to see another red mark on her skin. She then peaked out of the bushes to see the hawk's flying in circles as they prepared for another attack.

“I can't believe we're getting pinned down by birds,” she muttered.

“Hey I offered to take care of them, but nooo! `We can't hurt them!’,” she mocked in her best imitation of Kim.

“Now's not the time Shego,” Kim snapped back. “And if you really want to help,” she paused as she stuck her head out of the bush again to look up at the ceiling. “Then see if you can hit that sprinkler head.”

Shego raised an eyebrow in confusion before she looked towards where Kim was pointing and could just make out the sprinkler head on the high, domed ceiling.

“You want me to hit that?” she questioned.

S: “Smack dat!”

“Yeah. What, don't think you can do it?” Kim asked back with a small smirk.

“Course I can hit it. I just don't see why you'd want me to.”

“Just do it and you'll see.”


With that, Shego held up her hand and closed her left head

S: “Ghaa! I have two heads?!? When did that happen??”

to get a proper bead on her target. She fired off a small, concentrated

K: “… broccoli fart…”

blast of plasma energy that rocketed skyward and hit the sprinkler dead on. The blast succeeded in knocking the head off which caused it to rain water down. This started a chain reaction with the other sprinkler heads and soon water was falling over everything, in particular the three hidden heros.

“Great, so now we're wet. Was that part of your plan?” Shego grumbled.

K: “Well, no, but I thought that gravy might come out of the sprinklers. That would be cool!”

“Actually yes,” Kim replied. “I'm hoping it'll wash off that gunk Aviarius sprayed us with. And if nothing else…”

Again she stopped and poked her head out to watch their unintentional advisories. She smiled when she saw them shaking their heads and flapping their wings more erratically before flying off.

“Yes!” she remarked.

“What!” Ron and Shego both asked.

“The other part of my plan,” she said. “Even if this doesn't wash off the powder, then at least the hawks are trying to get out of the water so they shouldn't bother us anymore.”

“Oooh very clever,” Aviarius’ voice sounded over the intercom. “But you forget that I'm in the control booth and can turn this off anytime I wish. Just…give me a minute to find it. I know it's here somewhere.”

“You sure he's not somehow related to Dr. Drakken?” Ron asked Shego.

“Honestly, it wouldn't surprise me,” Shego retorted.

K: “… especially if they're from West Virginia.”

Seconds later the sprinkler system cut off with a triumphant laugh from Aviarius. His voice rang out over the speakers again as the last of the water fell to the floor.

“You may have survived my hawks, but can you deal with my flock of kill emus!” he screamed before breaking into a maniacal laugh.


S: “Imus? Didn't he get fired?”

Ron cried out in surprise. “Dude, this guy seriously needs to expand his evil resume.”

“Tell me about it, there's only so much you can do with birds,” Shego said before she realized what she was doing. “Stop that.”


“Distracting me!”

“It's what I do best!”

“You're right,” Kim spoke up. “And we're going to need that ability so I can get into the control booth and stop Aviarius. Do you think you can handle it?”

“Aw come on KP, I know I might not have the fighting skills of you and Shego but I'm sure I can handle a few flightless birds,” Ron replied.

K: “… and this is a Fox Alert… Ron Stoppable has just been pummeled senseless by a flock of flightless birds.”

S: “Is it a herd if they're flightless, or still a flock?”

He then flashed his trademark goofy grin as he stood up and stepped out of the bushes. Unfortunately he came face to beak with a flock of about ten emus, all of whom where staring at him as if he were dinner. He gave a nervous swallow on instinct even though he found his mouth rather dry at that moment.

“Then again,” he muttered.

As the birds started to close in on him, Ron slipped into the one strategy that never failed him in all the world saving adventures he had with Kim: he ran while screaming and flailing his arms. Kim couldn't help but smile as she watched. Despite all that had gone on between them over the summer and even now, Ron was still there for her and trusted her. It was a trust she was determined never to let down. Especially now that he had provided her an opening.

“Alright, I'm going,” she whispered to Shego while still looking towards the control booth door. “Stay here and try to stay out of sight.”

“Look Princess, I told you before I'm not just gonna sit back here like some lump.

K: “…mmm… a big, sexy lump…”

S: “Princess, level with me… you get a kick out of preggos, don't you?”

K: “… maybe…”

If Stoppable can do something then I can do something too,” Shego countered.

Kim sighed and dipped her head. “Look, Shego I-”

The rest of the sentence was lost when Kim turned towards Shego and found her lips brushing those of the other woman. She had obviously been a lot closer than Kim had thought because she certainly didn't plan on this!

K & S: “Riiiiight.”

And there was definitely no way she would have known that instead of immediately recoiling in horror, Shego not only held their impromptu kiss, but actually began to return it. Ever instinct in her body told her that this was wrong.

S: “Wrong, my ass!”

K: “Yeah, it's the hawtness!”

The timing, the situation, the how, the whole concept of the kiss was completely wrong. Yet in spite of her mind screaming at her to break away, she instead closed her eyes and began to fully embrace it. She even debated putting her arm on Shego's shoulder to draw her closer but she was afraid the contact might shock them both to their senses and the last thing she wanted to right now as break the moment.

The honor went to Ron as he came flying through the air with a loud scream and a dull “thud” as he landed in a patch of grass near them.

K: “Acapulco Gold?”

S: “Naw, it's probably Cambodian Red.”

“Me Grimlock need new strategy,” he muttered woozily.

His initial landing had been enough to cause Kim and Shego to break the kiss and stare at each other numbly, but his incoherent mumbling had been enough to completely snap Kim out of it and bring her back to her senses. She crawled over to where he lay with a concerned look.

“Ron are you OK?” she asked as she looked down at him.

“Well that depends,” he started,

K: “… is this my spleen or yours?”

still sounding a little out of it. “Are the birds I'm hearing real or just in my head?”

“I think they're real.”

“Then I'm fine. And I learned a valuable lesson. Emus kick really hard!”

S: “… and their guano is rich in nitrates!”

Kim gave him a lopsided smile before she held out a hand. He took the offered hand and let her help him up into a sitting position. He shook his head a bit to completely clear the cobwebs then looked apologetically at his friend.

“Sorry Kim, guess my distracting skills don't work very well against flightless birds,” he said.

“It's OK Ron, I'm just glad you're alright,” he said as she placed a hand on his shoulder. “But it looks like we are going to need a better distraction.”

Just then a sound similar to wrecking ball smashing into a building caught their attention and they looked towards one of the far walls to see Hego standing in front of a large hole with the rest of Team Go standing close behind him.

“Well I guess they'll do,” Kim smirked. “Well Shego looks like you'll get that reunion sooner than-” She paused when she noticed Shego wasn't there. “She's gone. But…where?”

“Team Go! How did you find out about my plans!” Aviarius’ shocked voice sounded over the speakers.

“Let's just say I a little birdie told me,” Hego replied mirthfully.

The other members of the team just groaned.

S: “And who exactly are these guys supposed to be?”

“How about we don't and just get this over with? I have plans for later this evening,” Mego said as he pushed his brother aside.

K: “Your brothers, I think.”

“What's the hurry Mego?” Wego A started.

“Got a small date?” Wego B finished before they both started snickering.

“Oh ha ha,” Mego replied as he crossed his arms in annoyance.

“Guys!” Kim shouted, waving to them as she stood up.

S: “Hm. That's weird. I don't have any brothers, just one sister named Laurie and she's a dental hygenist…”

The family of super heros took defensive stands as they turned towards the voice and were surprised by who they saw standing there.

“Kim Possible? Ron Stoppable?” Hego asked as he walked over to them, follow by his brothers.

“Hey someone remembers my name!” Ron said excitedly.

“After all that talk about bringing the Naco here, how could I forget?” the blue and black clad hero replied.

K: “… especially after all of the lawsuits.”

“And did you?”

Hego slumped his shoulders in defeat. “Yes.”


“So what are you guys doing back here?” Mego asked.

“It's a bit of a long story. Something we can talk about after we deal with our problem.”

“Problem?” Hego asked, then noticed the flock of emus starting to close in on them. “Ah yes, that. Well then, let's go, Team Go!”

At their leader's command, the rest of Team Go sprang into action. The Wegos began to multiply themselves so they matched the number of emus. While the birds were still confused by this event, the small army of Wegos pounced on their backs to keep them under control. The emus bucked wildly to get the boys off them, but the Wegos held firm.

S: “It's Captain Rodeo Clown to the rescue!”

“There's a pen in the back they came out of,” Kim told Hego, pointing to the pen. “Think you can help herd them that way?”

“With ease,” Hego replied.

He then struck the ground with a super powered fist that created a small tremor and sending the emus into a bigger panic. They turned away from the blue and black clad hero and with a little help from the Wegos, and a few more super punches by Hego, they were quickly herded back into their holding pen. Once there, the Wegos jumped off their perches and their doubles merged back into the original set of twins before they ran out of the pen. Kim pressed the button to close the door then disabled the control panel with a quick kick to make sure Aviarius didn't try to free them again anytime soon.

“Wow, that's a lot easier with superpowers,” Ron mused.

“Indeed it is youngster,” Hego retorted. “Now we have to find Aviarius.”

“And Shego,” Kim added.

“Shego!” all four brothers shouted.

S: “Ghaa! What? I'm awake!”

Aviarius pounded his fist on the monitor screen as his most hated enemies and the two teen heros herded his killer emus back to their pen. This was not at all how is plan was suppose to go! He was suppose to get Kim Possible, then Shego, then Team Go, not all of them at once. He couldn't handle that. As he watched them all talking on the screen he knew he was not only out numbered, but also out gunned. It was at this point he thought about making a very discrete exit. There was just one thing that was bothering him.

“What happened to Shego?” he mused, rubbing his chin.

A slight “ding” then filled the air and for a second he thought maybe his mind had come up with a brilliant plan to deal with all his enemies at once. Then he realized it was only the sound of the elevator that let to the control booth opening.

S: “Going down, Mr. Tyler?”

Then an overwhelming sense of dred washed over him and his body stiffened. He had taken care of any security guards they actually had in the building, and all the other heros seemed to be standing down there, so that left only one possible person this could be.

“Oh no,” he whispered.

“Hello Aviarius,” Shego whispered in a deliciously cruel voice. “Been awhile, hasn't it?”

“Shego!” he shouted as he spun around to face. “Please don't kill me!”

“Hey, incase you haven't heard, I don't kill people.”

S: “I just lower their credit rating! BWAH HAH HAH!”

He let out a great sigh of relief.

“But they doesn't mean I won't hurt them. A lot,” she said with a smirk as she started to creep forward, hands glowing.

“Mommy,” Aviarius whimpered as he crouched to the floor.

The next thing anyone heard was his scream flood out of the intercom system, causing the other heros to jump back in surprise. They fixed their gaze on the control booth and though they couldn't make out exact details due to the opaque glass, they could see enough to know what was going on. After only thirty seconds the screaming stopped and silence filled the building. It lasted only a few seconds as Shego's voice then came over the com.

“Hey Hego, catch!”

The statement was followed by one of the booth's window shattering and Aviarius’ limp being trailed by green plasma as is fell to the floor. Acting quickly, Hego ran towards him and caught safely the villain. He cringed a bit when he saw the extent of his injures. Aviarius’ costume had been torn in many places, and in fact his “wings” had been completely ripped off, and was covered in various nasty looking bruises, most centering on his face. He forced open his non black eye and looked at Hego with a dazed expression.

“Make…the hurting…stop,” he muttered before he fell unconscious.

K: “Yes, you too can make the hurting stop with Triopenin™ arthritis relief caplets!”

“So…remind me never to really piss off Shego,” Ron whispered to Kim, who merely nodded.

The sound of a door creaking open caught their attention. The gathered heros turned to find Shego walking into the main room. Hego carefully laid the unconscious Aviarius on the floor before he started to walk over to happily greet his sister.

“Shego! I'd heard you'd once again join the forces for good. It's nice to see-what is that!” he shouted when he noticed her larger than usually belly.

“What do you think it is?” Shego snapped back as she held her stomach.

“But…I…when…how?” he stammered.

K: “… giggle… he doesn't know about baby pills, either!”

“`How’? Oh you mean mom and dad didn't give you `The Talk’?” Shego asked with a mischievous grin. “Well see…when a man and a woman love each other…”

S: “… or two women…”

K: “Hell, yeah!”

“I know that! But…you…I…do you even know who the father is?” Hego asked in a slightly condescending tone.

Shego's hands clenched and unclenched as she let out a snarl through gritted teeth. With lighting fast reflexes she grabbed the front of Hego's collar and pulled him as close to her face as she could.

“I am sick and tired of people saying that!” she hissed. “I am not that promiscuous that I wouldn't know the father of my own child!”

S: “Hmm… it was either one of the full backs or one of the guards. Of that I'm certain.”

“OK, OK, break it up,” Mego said, stepping in between the two. “Well I can certainly understand why you wouldn't tell Mr. McJudgeall here, but you could have at least told me. I thought we were closer than that?”

“Well then you thought wrong didn't you?” Shego retorted. “Besides I knew if I told you it would eventually get out to Hego anyway.”

“Oh now that really hurts. You don't think I can keep a secret?”

“No,” she said flatly.

As Mego walked away crestfallen, the two Wegos stepped up to Shego and started to rub her belly, making her feel very uncomfortable.

“So what's it's name?” Wego A asked.

S: “When she's born, I'll ask her.”

“Is it a boy or girl?” Wego B added.

K: “Well, yeah! Doy!”

“First of all, stop that!” she shouted, taking a step back. “Secondly, it's a girl and finally her name is Shin.”

“So who is the father?” Hego spoke before the twins could ask anymore questions.

“Right over there,” Shego said, pointing to where Kim and Ron stood behind Team Go.

Naturally all eyes turned to Ron.

“No! No, no, no! Why does everyone always assume it's me!” he shouted.

“Really,” Shego snorted. “Do you think I'd be that desperate.”

“Hey!” Ron protested.

“Well if it's not him then who?” Hego asked.

“Ah, doy, it's Kim.”

S: “She's a MAN, baby, yeah!”

The usual silence that accompanied that revelation fell over the super heros as they simply stared back and fourth between the two women, trying to comprehend exactly what they had just been told. After a minute or so of silence, Hego tried to asked how it might have happened, but found himself having trouble forming words. Instead, what came out was a series of incoherent stutters.

“How?” Mego finally asked.

S: “You'd better whip it out and show them, Pumpkin.”

K: “Oh, ok… if I have to…”

Shego looked over her brothers’ shoulders to the “father” expectantly.

“You want to field this one Princess?” she asked.

K: “We were drunk, she lost a bet…”

“Oh no,” Kim declined with a shake of her head. “I had to explain it last time, now it's your turn. Besides, they're your family, I think it's only right you should tell them.”

Shego sighed at the whole “family” bit, but didn't have the energy go fight with her at the moment. She looked back to her brothers and took a deep breath before she explained the Drakken, his serum, how it all went wrong and the other details of the past few months. Through it all, they just stood there and blinked as they absorbed the information. Hego rubbed his chin in thought then walked over to Kim and held out his hand.

“If what Shego said is true then you should be commended,” he said.

“Oh, it's no big,” Kim replied as she shook the offered hand. “Well I guess I shouldn't say `no big’ cause it has been a little trying, but it's worth it.”

“I'm sure it is, but you can rest assured that you won't have to bother it anymore.”

“What!” Kim and Shego shouted.

“Well Shego is a member of Team Go.”

“Was. Was a member of Team Go,” Shego corrected. “I quit, remember?”

K: “But did you remember to sign your exit interview?”

“Yes, yes because you had to sow your wild evil oats,” he said off handedly. But now that you seem to be over that phase you can return to the team and we'll help you raise your child.”

“I don't think so,” Shego growled.

“With all due respect, it is my child she's carrying,” Kim spoked up. “So I think I have a more of a right to raise it than you do.”

K: “I'm her baby's Daddy!”

“But Shego is part of our family,” Hego insisted. “We should do something for the child.”

“Fine then send a couple of birthday cards filled with money or something, but there's no way I'm going back to the Go Tower,” Shego said as she walked passed him to where Kim was standing.


“Let it go Hego,” Mego whispered to him. “You know how she can get when she's set her mind on something.”

“Fine,” the leader of Team Go sighed. “At the very least though you should tell mom and dad.”

That statement stopped Shego dead in her tracks. Her head snapped up as her entire body seemed to stiffen and her eyes went wide. Kim stared at her in confusion as this seemingly innocent suggestion provoked such a powerful response. If she hadn't known otherwise, she could swear that Shego was actually…afraid. But that couldn't be, this woman wasn't afraid of anything. More to the point there was the fact that Hego has just mentioned…

“Mom and dad?” Kim asked, sounding shocked.

“Yes our parents. She never told you?” Hego asked, sounding equally surprised.

Kim looked over at the still frozen Shego.

K: “Mmmm… frozen Shego waffles!”

S: “Hey, leggo my Shego… wait, I think that's your line… let me check the script…”


“Well then you can come along and meet-”

“No,” Shego said in a whisper, drawing their attention.

“What?” Hego asked to make sure he heard right.

“NO!” she shouted, whirling towards him. “I'm not going there! I don't care what you say!”

“But-” Kim started.

“NO!” Shego screamed again, turning towards the red head now. “I did my part, I told my brothers, that's it! I'm done!”

“I said family, if your mom and dad are alive then they have a right to know too.”

“No, they really don't.”

“Shego please,” Hego said, taking a step forward. “I'm sure in light of the situation they can forgive you.”

“Yeah right,” she scoffed. “You're only saying that cause you're their favorite. They don't give a crap about me.”

“Now that's just not true.”

“The hell it's not!”

K: “It's not! They think about you EVERYTIME they take a crap…”

“Shego,” Kim spoke this time, in a soft gentle voice. “You're overacting. I'm sure your parents can't be that bad.”

S: “Yeah? Well, our real name is Menendez.”

“Oh really!” she snapped, as she pressed her face close to Kim's. “Is that what you think? Well let me tell you something Princess, you have no idea what they're like.”

“Then why don't you show me?”

The statement was much more a challenge than it was a question. Kim knew it was risky to play this hand,

K: “Nuts! Go fish!”

but she also knew that no matter how…close the two had become there was no way Shego would resist a challenge from her. She just had to stand strong behind her convictions. And she did just that as the two sets of green eyes glared at one another. For a moment it seemed like they were back in the old days with each of them sizing the other up and looking for any sign of weakness.

It was this small drive that kept Shego rooted in place. Most of her mind was screaming at her to just let it go and walk away, but that tiny part of her that still saw this girl as her rival pushed her forward. She had just been handed a challenge and she'd be damned if she wasn't going to accept it. But if she did, there was a chance of her being hurt far more than in any fight the two of them had. Still…it was there as she just couldn't pass it up.

“Fine,” she muttered. “You really want to see, then we'll go. But,” she then grabbed Kim's shirt and held her close to her face, “you're going to owe me for this. Big time!”

S: “Two words… `donkey punch'!”

With that she let the red head go with a push and straightened up before she started towards the hole Hego has made in the wall. She got about halfway there before she turned to back to the others who were still standing there in shocked silence.

“So you guys coming or what?” she snapped.

That was enough to break them out of their daze and after Hego picked up Aviarius again they followed her out to the street. As they did, Kim couldn't help but wonder just what kind of people Shego's parents were that could make someone like her afraid. She was also wondering what exactly she'd have to do to pay Shego back and began to seriously doubt her judgement in bringing the pale green woman along at all.

Once the group had made their way outside, they packed into a vehicle Hego had dubbed the “Go Mobile” which was essentially a white hummer with blue, purple, red and green splotches all over it, not unlike the “Go Jet” Kim and Ron rode in during their first visit.

K: “… but first, let me slip on my Go-Go Boots…”

Of course Shego had scoffed at it and called it an oversized clown car, but piled into it all the same. Thankfully there was enough room for all of them as well as Aviarius’ unconscious form and after they dumped him off at the nearest police precinct, they continued to drive through the city.

S: “Hey, they've added a Pottery Barn!”

As they did, Kim and Ron couldn't help but notice how beautiful the city was. Most of their first visit had been centered on finding the new Grande Bueno Nacho and then fighting Aviarius to get Team Go's powers back and so subsequently they had little time to sight see. Even now they were speeding past the city far too quickly to really take in the sights, but what they could see was breathtaking. The city's architecture was a combination of old style industrial buildings and modern, high tech sky scrappers and designs which created a unique contradiction that somehow worked well together and seemed to stretch out endlessly.

K: “Yeah, these building and roads are SO much better than the farmland that USED to be here…”

So it was to Kim and Ron's great surprise that not only did this landscape end but that the outskirts of the city merged into a spacious and peaceful countryside. Unlike the city, there were only a few small buildings peppered throughout lush green meadows and most of them were range style houses. Just as they were overcoming the shock of this drastic change, they received another one when the Go Mobile

S: “The Gnome Mobile?”

stopped in front of a large, gold plated gate with a “D” stamped prominently on a circle in the middle. Hego leaned out of the window to talk into a speaker sticking out of the ground and after a moment the gates swung open and they continued on along a private road. It wasn't long until their goal came into sight and caused the teenagers’ mouths to hang open in amazement.

K: “… meanwhile, at stately Wayne Manor…”

There, looming over them on top if a small hill was a huge redbrick mansion that was several hundred feet long and three stories high. Three chimneys stuck up from the black shingled roof, two at either end of the house and one in the middle. Hundreds of well cleaned windows glinted in the pale moon light to show that only a few of the rooms were actually in use. Even half shrouded in darkness the house was still an impressive site.

K: “And they even got themselves a cement pond! Boy, howdy!”

“This…is…is…” Ron stammered.

“The house we grew up in, yes,” Hego acknowledged.

“More like palace!” the blonde replied excitedly. “KP and I have been to countries smaller than this!”

S: “It's only a model…”

“Yeah,” Kim whispered in agreement, still in a state of awe. When she did a recover a sly grin crossed her face as she cast a glance toward Shego. “And you were commenting about my parents’ house.”

S: “… and this is where Mumsie likes to go peasant hunting.”

K: “You mean pheasant hunting?”

S: “No, I mean peasant.”

When she didn't get a snappy answer back, Kim grew concerned and looked more closely at the older woman. She was sitting next to the red head with her arms and legs crossed as best she could and her head tilted down. She had a pensive look on her face that Kim had never seen before. She mostly looked annoyed, but once again there was a tiny bit of a fear in her eyes that made the teen hero nervous. She didn't know what was making Shego so afraid, but she was sure she'd find out soon enough.

Once the vehicle stopped at the end of the driveway, the group piled out and walked around to the main entrance where they were greeted by a mild aged man with thinning reddish orange hair, glasses and dressed in a dark suit. He nodded politely to them as they walked up.

S: “Everybody give a big Kigo welcome to `Grant'! Woot, woot!”

K: “Hm… `wazzup’, sir.”

“Grant, good to see you again old friend,” Hego greeted happily as he placed a hand on the man's shoulders.

K: “Hm, yes… as long as you do not call me your `little chum’, sir.”

“Good to see you again as well sir,” Grant replied before he opened the doors and lead them in. “I informed Mr. Downe of your arrival at the gate and he and the misses are waiting for you in the reading room. As you can imagine they were quite surprised to hear that you were here.”

K: “Would anyone care to visit the formal shitter? Hm?”

S: “That's pretty funny! Let me do the next one…”

“I suppose that's fair enough, since we do have our own surprise,” Hego retorted.

S: “So you have finally chosen to `come out’, sir? Jolly good for you, sir.”

“So I see,” Grant mumbled, looking back at Shego. “So…”

S: “Been a little bit loose with the gentlemen callers, have we, Ms. Shego?”

“If you even think about asking me if I know who the father is I'm gonna fry you right here,” Shego spat venomously.

“Fair enough.”

S: “I was just `sticking it to the man’, Ms. Shego. Apologies.”

The rest of the trip was made in silence. While Team Go out of a mixture of reverence of their old home and fear of what Shego might to do them if they said anything, Team Possible was silent because they were in even more awe of the inside of the house than the outside. The halls they were being led down seemed almost like a labyrinth decorated with expensive vases and paintings and lined with rugs full of intricate and beautiful patterns. Some of the rooms they had to walk through seemed as big, if not bigger then either of Kim or Ron's houses. All in all the mansion was an impressive sight for even their world weary eyes.

The impromptu tour came to a stop just outside a set of large wooden double doors with a brass handles. Grant pushed both handles down and opened the doors with a dramatic flourish before he stepped to the side and waved the group in. Although it had been referred to as the “reading room”, the room could easily pass for a small library.

S: “… and this is the Kigo Chamber. Sir and Madame keep all of the better fanfics printed on vellum and bound in embossed leather…”

Rows of gigantic book cases covered nearly every wall, stopping only at the large picture window at the other end of the room and the fire place which was built into the left wall. In the middle of the room two easy chairs sitting next with a couch a few inches away from them and a series of small end table between the chairs and the couch, all finished off with a large coffee table in front of the couch. It was a simple set up, but the furniture itself spoke of elegance from the silk laden chairs to the highly polished oak tables and even the hardwood floor covered only by a single rug under said furniture. Like the others out in the hallway this one had an intricate pattern which was a series of crisscrossing lines of blue, purple, red and green.

K: “Early Parisian Cathouse… how elegant.”

Like their surroundings, the two people sitting in the two main chairs had an air of elegance around them even if they were dressed in relaxed clothes. The man was obviously the older of the two as accented by stripe of grey hair that ran around the back of his head, leaving the rest bald. He was dressed in a light blue casual shirt and slacks covered by a maroon smoking jacket in a poor attempt to the hide the fact that he was overweight. The woman next to him was dressed in what Kim and Ron guessed was a house dress, but it still more regal than anything they had seen outside of a castle. It was a royal blue color that flowed freely down to her ankles accented by sheer sleeves and a diamond necklace rest comfortably around her throat. Her faded black hair was tied back into a tight bun and she seemed to pay little attention the group as she took a sip from her brandy glass.

“Mr. Downe, your guests are here,” Grant announced softly.

K: “Peace, out, sir.”

S: “That was `Grant’, ladies and gentlemen! Let's give him a great big Kigo applause!”

It was only after the statement that Mr. Downe folded up his paper with a sigh then looked towards the assembled group of heros with the slight look of disappointment in his hazel eyes being magnified by his thin rimmed glasses. He slowly stood up and walked over to them, keeping his focus on Team Go, in particular Hego.


K: “Coming. Mother!”

he greeted cooly. “You know I also enjoy seeing you, but I thought we agreed that there would be a little more foreknowledge of your visits.”

“I know father,” Hego replied, sounding much more like a scolded child rather than a superhero. “But this was a bit of a…surprise for all of us.”

“I can see that,” Mr. Downe replied, looking coldly at Shego.

S: “OK! We get it! She's… I'm… SOMEONE'S pregnant! Geez! Why does everyone treat me… her… like a frigging leper!”

“Wait a minute, `Henry’?” Ron blurted out, earning him a poke in the ribs from Kim.

“Of course,” Mr. Downe spoke again. “You really didn't think we'd name our children such horrible things `Hego’ and `Wego’ and all that, did you?”

“Well…I…uh…” Ron stammered.

“What he means to say is that we haven't talked to your children long enough to learn their real names,” Kim said quickly.

“Yes we stuck to our oaths to keep our identities secret,” Hego added.

“That's good,” Mr. Downe nodded. “But at this point I don't think there's any point in secrecy. You two can keep a secret, correct?”

“Of course,” Kim said.

“Absolutely. Cause…you know she'll hurt me if I don't,” Ron joked, tilting his head towards Kim.

Mr. Downe gave the boy an odd look, but continued on. “As I'm sure you've realized by now all of Team Go are my children. There real names are Henry, as you've heard,” he gestured towards Hego. “Marvin,” he pointed to Mego, “Wesley and William,” he pointed to Wego A and B respectively. “And of course…Sheila,” his voice was filled with anger and disappointment as he simply glared at Shego.

“Sheila!” Kim and Ron shouted in unison.

“Yeah, Sheila,” Shego growled. “That's my real name, hope you're happy.”

“So then your full name is Sheila Downe?” Ron asked, trying to wrap his mind around the concept.

“Actually we all get the Go from our middle names so her full name would be Sheila Go Downe,” Hego informed him.

K: “Ghaa! Really?!”

S: “No! My name is Sharon Gale Ornstein. Where do they get this stuff?”

Shego stood frozen in place by rage and embarrassment. She always hated to hear her full name and if she could she would jump across the room and beat Hego into a bloody pulp. She was tempted enough just to blast him through the window, but that was stopped when a small snicker reached her ear. She turned towards it and wasn't at all surprised to find Ron as its source. He had his hands over his mouth in an attempt to stop it, but he soon fell into a fit of laughter.

“Ron!” Kim admonished him, even as she herself tried not to laugh. “That's-that's not funny.”

She tried to fight it with all her will, but soon enough Kim gave into the infectious laughter. The two friends leaned against each other as they tried to calm themselves down, but to no avail. Their laughter was finally stopped when Shego stomped over to them and gave them both a death glare.

“Ha. Ha. Ha,” she spat out, frightening them both into silence.

She then moved pasted them and stood right in front of her father, giving him the same glare, which he seemed to return in earnest.

“And that was the first thing you did to screw up my life,” she growled.

S: “… and the second was making me take TAP DANCING lessons!”

“What I did, Sheila, was try to provide you with the best life my money could pay,” Mr. Downe growled back.

“How? By controlling everything I did?”

“You know that is not what I wanted. I just wanted you to…behave yourself.”

“Yeah, like I said, control me! Don't try to act all noble in front of our guests,” she motioned to Kim and Ron. “Tell them the whole story daddy. About how you're afraid your little girl would ruin the `precious’ family name. Cause God forbid a Downe do anything that's considered `wrong’. Or as most people call it `fun’.”

“That's because your `fun’ included barging in on my important meetings with some silly notion of invisible friends or make believe dragons.”

“I was eight!” Shego shouted, throwing her hands into the air. “That's why eight-year-olds do!”

K: “That why eight-year-olds do… what?”

S: “Sorry, Kimmie, I got nothing.”

“Your brothers learned how to act properly,” he replied, gesturing towards them.

“Hey for once you can just leave me out of this,” Mego replied.

“Oh shut up Marvin,” Shego said his real name mockingly. She then turned back to her father. “And they just did everything Hego did and that's because you pounded all that crap into his brain since he was born.”

“Now wait just a minute,” Hego started to protest but was stopped by Mego who simply shook his head.

“They listened to Henry because he knew how those in our family are suppose to act,” Mr. Downe shot back. “Polite, sophisticated, well knowledged. That's been our family tradition for years and it is expected of each generation to carry on that legacy.” His tone and features actually softened a bit. “Sheila, I would have given you anything you would have wanted. All I asked in return is that you carried on our family's heritage.”

“But I didn't want the family's heritage!” Shego countered. “I wanted my own life. But that wasn't good enough for you, was it? I had to follow just exactly in your footsteps and if I didn't I was the worst daughter ever.” She paused when she felt tears starting to well up, but vehemently pushed them down. She wasn't going to give him that satisfaction. “You never did trust me. That's why at the first sign of puberty you threw me in that Catholic school. Still so afraid that your disobedient daughter would do something horrible and drag the family name through the mud.”

“Wait, you were a Catholic school girl?” Ron asked in surprise.

K: “With a name like `Ornstein’?”

S: “If the teachers at my old day school ever see this, they're gonna have a fit!”

“Oh yeah,” Shego turned her head towards him. “And what a couple of fun years they were. Nuns couldn't handle me any better than my own father good. Guess I've always been a bit of a hellion.

S: “Yeah, they figured that out after the fabled `strip bingo’ incident.”

Course I got pulled out once the meteor hit and changed us all.” She turned to her father again. “Then the fun really began. Thought that might change things for the better, didn't you?”

“Yes I did, and again I was wrong,” Mr. Downe sighed. “You became even worse and then left for your life of villainy. I'm sure you got your kicks there.”

Shego smirked at the unintentional double meaning of that phrase.

“Oh yeah, lots of kicks,” she smirked.

“But something obviously went wrong given…this,” he waved his hand towards her rounded stomach. “What happened, some anonymous madman knock you up and leave you all on your own? Finally come back here for help now that you're in a situation you can't handle?”

Shego's body trembled with rage that was building up inside her. She tried to push it down, knowing that it wasn't healthy for the baby, but she had just about reached her boiling point.

“First of all,” she said in a soft, dangerous tone. “I wish everyone would stop treating me like I was some slut. I know all the partners I've been with and believe it or not I can actually count them on one hand.

K: “Actually, her most frequent partner WAS her hand!”

S: “You little… wait, that was pretty funny.”

K: “Sorry, but I just watched `Clerks II’ the other day and couldn't help myself.”

Secondly, the only reason I'm here is that the `father’ wanted me to tell you all about the pregnancy out of some misguided attempt at family bonding. Otherwise, believe me I never would have come back here until both of your where dead and even that would only be to dance on your graves.”

Surprisingly, Mr. Downe seemed to take that statement very well as he just lowered his head with a slight sigh.

“I see,” he breathed. “So then I take it the father is with you?”

“Yes, and before you even look, no it's not the blonde kid,” Shego replied, answering the inevitable question. She then smiled at the thought of the kind of reaction her next statement would get. “It's actually that red headed girl over there.”

The reaction was better than she expected. She watched with a smile as her father grew as pale as her as he backed away with his eyes wide and mouth hanging open. The real attention grabber though was the sudden sound of glass shattering. Everyone looked at the floor to find the remains of a glass surrounding a small pool of brown liquid. All eyes traveled upwards from the spill to the hand that had previously been holding the drink laying limply on the arm of the chair then looked at its owner to see Mrs. Downe wearing an expression similar to her husband's. Her eyes darted frantically from her daughter's face to her expanded belly and to the young girl who she said was the child's “father”.

S: “Yeah, and believe me, Kimmie's hung like a horse!”

“That's…that's not possible,” Mr. Downe muttered as he fell back into his chair.

“Well it's like the saying goes, `Anything's possible for a Possible’,” Shego said with a quick wink over her shoulder to Kim. “Well that and a former mad scientist boss who screwed things up after playing around with our DNA, but who's keeping track of that? The point is, yes I am having this baby and after today you'll never see it again.”

“You…you can't,” Mr. Downe whispered, still in a state of shock.

“Yeah I can. Besides, look at me,” she said, placing her hands on her protruding stomach. “Little late to do anything about it now.”

K: “And if she really were `Sheila Go Downe’, well, then we wouldn't be in this mess, now would we?”

When her father didn't respond Shego looked over to her mother, who still seemed to be recovering as well.

“So, you got anything you wanna say, mom?” she asked, a trace of her old snarkiness back in her voice.

“Actually I do,” Mrs. Downe replied gently as she stood up.

She stepped over to her daughter and simply stared at in silence for a seemingly long time. Shego tried to get a read on what her mother was thinking, but the woman was surprisingly good at hiding her emotions. So the ex-thief simply stood there and waited to see what she might say or do. The answer was a hard slap across the face that surprised Shego more than anyone.

K: “…”

S: “It's Ok, Kimmie. It's just a movie.”

She stared down at the floor in total surprise as the sound of skin hitting skin reverberated off the walls. She continued to stare blankly for several seconds as she tried to process what just happened. When it finally clicked, she snapped her head back towards her mother and a set of emerald green eyes stared intently at a set of sea foam green eyes that stared back with the same intensity.

“You selfish little brat!” Mrs. Downe snapped. “How dare you come back here and say things like that. Your father and I gave you the very best of everything.”

“No, he tried to give me the best of anything by controlling me. You spent more time wondering about what to put in your highball than the welfare of your own daughter,” Shego countered. “That's why I get to say these things.”

“No you say those things because you've always worried more about yourself than anyone else. Even now you whine about what you wanted and never gave a second thought to what the rest of the family wanted. Do you really think you'll be able to raise a child with that kind of attitude?”

Shego snorted. “Seemed to work well enough for you.”

Mrs. Downe gasped in horror and brought her hand up to smack her disobedient child again but this time the hand was caught in mid swing. Shego keep her eyes focused on her mother's face as she held her arm by the rest.

“Fool me once mom,” she whispered ominously. She then released the hand with a violent shove and glared at her mother again. “And I'll tell you this, I think I'll do a damn good job raising this kid cause I'm going to give her two things I never had: love and attention. Then-” she stopped to let out a slight gasp and clutch at her stomach.

“Shego!” Kim shouted in concern as she ran up to her. “Are you OK?”

S: “Yeah… just no more of those refried beans… ooh… my guts are a'churning…”

“Yeah I'm fine. The baby's just kicking. Seems she doesn't like being here anymore than I do,” Shego explained.

“Then maybe we should just go,” Kim suggested.

“Sounds like a good idea,” the older woman agreed before they turned and started to walk away.

“Yes go!” Mr. Downe demanded, standing up again. “And take that…abomination with you!”

K: “Who, Ron?”

“Alright that's it!” Kim growled as she spun around and marched back over to him. “That `abomination’ as you call it my child and I won't have you badmouthing her or Shego anymore!”

“Young lady, I'll talk to my daughter however I please, no matter whatever perverse relationship you might have with her.”

S: “Yes, unwashed plebian, begone!”

Kim blinked at the his use of the word “relationship” and couldn't help by blush when memories of the unexpected kiss she shared with the other woman flashed before her. She shook it off and concentrated on that matter at hand.

“Our…relationship is none of your business,” she countered. “And maybe it's not my place to judge, but I couldn't stand by any longer as you berated Shego. Especially since it was my fault she came here in first place. I was hoping that by seeing her pregnant you might've been able to forgive her for everything she's done, but now I see it wasn't her problem at all, it are yours. No one knows more of what she's capable of doing than me, and we've definitely had a rough past, but if you could see the changes I've seen in her over these last few months than maybe you'd reconsider the way you think about her.”

“Ha! Fat chance,” Shego scoffed.

“I know that now,” Kim sighed, looking over at her. “You're right, your family doesn't deserve to know. And they certainly don't deserve to have any say in the way we raise our child. And you,” she turned back to Mr. and Mrs. Downe with a jab of her finger, “don't deserve her,” she pointed back to Shego. “If your family can't see fit to take her back then that's fine, my family's perfectly willing to take her as one of our own.” She paused to look the pale woman directly in the eyes. “In fact we already have.”

For the first time since they had arrived in Go City Shego smiled. Not her usual sarcastic smirk or sadistic smile either, but a smile of genuine comfort and happiness.

K: “… except for the spinach in her teeth! Gross!”

“Yeah!” Ron blurted out, ruining the mood. “She made be cranky and too sarcastic for her own good and have a mile long mean streak, but even she doesn't deserved to be smack around by her own parents.”

S: “You know, Stoppable's heart is in the right place.”

K: “Yeah… too bad his head's up his ass.”

She blinked serval times in surprise at the statement. Even the buffoon was sticking up for her in his own bizarre way. It was unexpected to say the least but at the moment it was welcome. And with his and Kim's support it gave her the strength to say one last thing to her father. She walked toward him but still kept a fairly good distance. She didn't need to get that close for this one.

“You want to know the really sad part about all this dad?” she started. “Dr. Drakken may have been a mad scientist trying to take over the world with schemes that would never, ever work and usually hated it when told him so, but he still accepted me for who I am. That's more than I could ever say for you.”

With that, Shego turned and walked out of the room, Kim and Ron following close behind her. She didn't see the confused expressions on parents’ and brothers’ faces and she really didn't care. She had said what she needed to and was ready to finally put that chapter of her life behind her. She was ready to start anew with the baby, with Kim and whatever else might come around the corner.

Shego sat on her bed in the Possible house and tried to sooth her raging beast in her mind with music.

K: “… but until then, the world must continue to believe that David Banner is dead.”

The events with her parents had gotten to her more than she would have liked to admit so the first thing she had done when she and Kim got home was to retreat into her room and put on some music. Well actually the music was the second thing she did, the first was to get out of the still damp clothes she had been wearing for most of the night. She had changed into a pair of green flannel pajamas with only the center buttons done up. The bottom ones she had been unable to fasten because of her stomach and she left a few of the top ones undone simply because she felt like it. She still wanted to try and look somewhat sexy even if she didn't particularly feel like it.

K: “Rrrrawrh!”

S: “Later, girl. Down! Down, I say!”

She leaned her head back against the headboard of the bed and closed her eyes as she concentrated on the song that just started. It was the only she truly wanted to listen to, but she had to play a few of the others first to calm her mind. She wasn't sure exactly why she wanted to listen to it now, it just seemed…appropriate.

You know how us Catholic girls can be

We make up for so much time a little too late

I never forgot it, confusing as it was

Ain't that the truth, she thought bitterly.

As much as she tried to forget everything that happened with her parents throughout her life, it always seemed to come back to her, most often in moments like this when she was alone. It was one of the reasons she always listened to Dr. Drakken drone on about his latest “greatest scheme ever”, it kept her memories at bay. Labeling them as just “confusing” seemed too easy though. They really ranged a large gambit of emotions that she usually kept locked up. It was one of the main reasons she didn't want to go back to Go City because she knew confronting her brothers and her parents would open up the flood gates and with hormones acting up as they were, she wasn't exactly sure what would happen. So far she seemed to be handling them well enough, but there was one other thing that truly was confusing.

K: “Like, how do fish work?”

Her mind instantly flashed back to the kiss she had inadvertently shared with Kim. Once the surprise factor had worn off, it actually turned out to be a very nice, enjoyable kiss. It was the fact that she actually did enjoy it that confused her. She had never had any kind of those feelings for another woman before and certainly not towards Kim Possible. Usually her thoughts towards the teen hero tended to be the exact opposite of loving. Lately though, her thoughts had seem to run from merely appreciative to caring and even loving. Again, she contributed that to hormones but part of her thought it might run a little deeper. What exactly that meant for her, Kim, and the baby she really didn't know. Nor did she know that if another opportunity to kiss the read haired girl came up that she wouldn't just go for it and to hell with the consequences.

A slight knock at the door startled her from her thought.

S: “Hello! I'm the Devil! Now… let's just talk about those `consequences…!”

“Shego, can I come in?” Kim's voice called from the other side of the door.

Well speak of the devil, Shego thought.

K: “Hey, good call!”

S: “Ain't I something?”

Aloud she responded, “Yeah the door's open, come on in.”

The door opened and revealed that Kim had changed into her sleep attire as well. She wore her blue tank top with the small green heart and a pair of well worn grey sweat pants. She closed the door behind her and gently made her way over to the bed where she sat down on the edge, taking care not to sit on Shego's legs. For her part, Shego adjusted her sitting position against the headboard so that she and Kim would be a little more comfortable. Kim was silent at first as she tried to think of what to say and in that silence Shego noticed a bandage wrapped around the girl's right arm.

“So how's the arm?” she asked, pointing to said appendage.

S: “Say, is that an appendage, or are you just enjoying the show?”

“Huh?” Kim asked back, then looked down at the bandage. “Oh it's no big. Mom just wanted to make sure it got cleaned and wrapped properly but it shouldn't take too long to heal.”

“That's good.”

“Yeah,” Kim sighed and took a moment to speak again. “Look I came to say I'm sorry.”

“And you should be,” Shego remarked. “I told you I didn't want to see my parents and now you know why. You should feel ashamed of yourself.” When she noticed the humor was lost on the girl and she actually did seemed to feel ashamed, it was Shego turn to sigh. “I know you didn't mean for that to happen and I appreciate the thought behind it, but you just have to realize that my family isn't going to be the big happy group that yours is.”

“I know that now. I just think it's horrible that things have gotten so bad with you and your folks that you can patch things up.”

“Some things just weren't meant to be Kimmie.”

K: “Like a live-action Popeye movie.”

“Maybe. But I did mean what I said about your being part of my family. I even talked it over with my mom and dad and as far as they're considered you already are.”

Shego smiled at the comment. “Guess I should change my last name to Possible then.”

K: “I dunno… I'm warming up to `Shego Downe'… Rrarwh!”

“It would definitely be an improvement,” Kim replied, the corners of her mouth starting to twist up into an amused grin.

“Hey don't even think about it!”

“Sorry, sorry.”

Kim let out another sigh as the two lapsed into silence. As they sat there they were only vaguely aware of the next song coming on. They were more concerned about what happened the last time they were alone and this close to each other. Despite their best efforts the kiss replayed in both their minds and bringing with it a volley of questions they either didn't want to or didn't know how to answer. They spared only a few glance at each other, knowing that if they ever truly made eye contact some of those questions might get answered regardless. It was during this time that Shego noticed the small green velvet box on her night stand.

“Shego,” Kim spoke in serious tone. “I really think we need to talk about-”

“What's this box?” Shego interrupted, pointing to the object.

“Huh? Oh that's just something I picked up at the mall this afternoon for you.”

“For me?”

“Yeah I was just browsing around and when I found it I thought of you so…I guess I just bought it on impulse. Take a look at it though, I'm curious to see what you think.”

Shego gave her an confused look for a second but gave in with a shrug and picked up the box. She flipped it open and let out a small gasp at what she saw.

S: “Aaahh! It's an EAR!”

It was an oval shaped stone a little bigger than a quarter that had been smoothed to marble perfection.

S: “…oh…”

The color pattern was what had really caught her eye and was no doubt why Kim thought it was perfect for her. Green and black swirled around it in several masses that was both chaotic and beautiful at the same time.

K: “Eww, sounds gross, actually.”

The stone itself was outlined by a gold border attached to a gold chain which was tucked under the holder for the necklace. Shego carefully pulled it out of the box and held it up to her face.

“It's…beautiful,” she whispered.

S: “… cheap shit…”

“I thought so too,” Kim said with a smile. “Though I don't think that's real gold. At least not at the price I paid.”

“Real or not it still looks good. And…you bought this for me?”

“Well…yeah,” the red head replied, blushing slightly. “I hope you're…OK with it.”

“Oh I'm OK with it,” Shego replied quickly. “I just never had anyone buy me anything before.”

“Why don't you try it on?”

“Good idea. Help me get up first. If I'm gonna do this I might as well do it right.”

Kim stood and took the hand Shego held out then after a bit of rocking helped her to stand up as well. They the walked around the bed to the full length mirror Shego kept in the corner and stood before it. The contrast of her taller, larger body compared to Kim's smaller, petite frame made Shego finally feel as big as she actually was. She shouldered drooped a bit as her hands fell to her sides. Upon seeing herself like this she wasn't sure she worthy of wearing the necklace. Maybe on her pre-pregnant body but not this thing staring back to her in the mirror.

While Shego didn't think she deserved to wear the necklace, Kim obviously did as she took it from the older woman's hands and walked behind. Pushing the long mane of black hair out of the way she undid the clasp, gently wrapped it around Shego's neck and latched it again once it was in place. The stone rested comfortably right above the pale woman's cleavage and she couldn't help be smile at it's placement.

K: “… hmmm…”

S: “Hm? Kimmie… what are you… Ghaa!”

K: “…mmmmmmmm…”

“It is beautiful. And look out it brings out my breasts!” she joked.

S: “Kimmie, cut it out! Those `Mads’ are supposed to be monitoring the experiment!”

Kim giggled that the comment as she placed her hands on Shego's shoulders.

K: “…mmmmmm…”

“I think it looks great,” she smiled.

S: “Oh, Kim… that's wrongsick…”

“Yeah. I just wish it stood out more against this,” Shego replied sadly, rubbing her stomach.

S: “Um… can I have a go?”

“This,” Kim stared placing a hand over Shego's, “is our child and I think you look even more beautiful than that stone with her.”

They both seemed shocked at the slight admission but neither of them pulled back. In fact, Shego turned around so that she could look directly at Kim. As they thought, any words between them were lost as they simply stared into each other's eyes, noticing for the first time how they truly matched up. They were not the only things that matched up and now both women could tell that in attention to their fighting abilities and love of danger their feelings for each other matched as well. Kim brought her right hand up to Shego's cheek and at first she tensed up, the slap her mother gave her on that very cheek still fresh in her mind. She calmed down though and allowed Kim to gently rest her hand there. The differences between the two hands couldn't have been more obvious if there was a neon sign above them. Whereas her mother's action was a slap, Kim's action was a caress. Whereas her mother's hand was hard, Kim's hand was soft. Whereas her mother's hand had felt cold, Kim's felt warm. Most importantly, Kim's hand transferred something her mother had never really giving her, love.

“Sh-Shego,” Kim whispered, trying to find something, anything to say.

K: “… um… did you know that one quarter of all the world's mammals are bats?”

Shego just silenced her with a finger on her lips then nodded her head in the direction of the stereo. Though she was almost completely into the moment they were sharing, the former thief had been able to catch where the latest song on the CD was and she knew it would be able to convey her feelings at lot better than she could at the moment.

You're the sweet crusader

And you're on your way

You're the last great innocent

And that's why…I love you

The slight pause in the song gave them opportunity to focus on each other again as Kim's eyes looked hopefully at Shego. She simply nodded her confirmation and before either of them knew it their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. The rest of the song, the room, and the whole world around them disappeared as they focused on the kiss. If their accidental one was good, this one was perfect. It conveyed their feelings that had been building up between them over the past few months in ways mere words never could. They gave every ounce of respect, friendship, caring and love they had into it and it seemed like it would go on forever.

So it was to their great surprise that it was abruptly cut short by the sound of someone gasping behind them and a dull thud as something heavy hit the floor. Although they broke the kiss they kept their embrace as their heads jerked towards the source. Their surprised doubled when they found Mrs. Dr. Possible standing in the doorway with her eyes as big as saucers and mouth hanging wide open while a spilled laundry basket lay at her feet.


K: “Back off, old woman! She's MINE!”

To Be Continued…

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