The afternoon was wearing on and the milkshake just didn't hold her attention anymore. She wanted something sweeter, smoother and tastier than could ever be dispensed into a frosted glass or sipped through a straw. It wasn't as if she wanted anything nebulous or mysterious; her heart's desire had a name and that name was…
“Shego.”
“Huh? What?” Kim Possible looked up from her drink and stared with utter confusion and no small degree of panic into the freckled face of her best friend. “Sorry, Ron, I didn't hear you. What did you say?”
“Wade says that Drakken's been seen taking crates out of one of his timeshare lairs. He says that Shego's with him and that if we leave now we might just catch them in the act.” The boy stood up from his seat at the Bueno Nacho booth and watched Kim expectantly. “Don't you want to get your hands on her?”
“Yeah! I mean, uh… ” Kim shook her head and collected her thoughts. She glanced down at the half eaten `Grande-Sized’ meal. “Should I get us a doggie-bag?”
“Kim, Kim, Kim…how many times must I remind you?” Ron shook his head in mild disgust, his expression mirrored by a tiny pink head that glared up at her from his trouser pocket. “Here at Bueno Nacho one does not use a… doggie bag.” He blanched at the thought.
“n'uh! n'uh! doggie, phooey!” Rufus blew a raspberry.
“One must request a `Fiesta-Sized, Armadillo Shell Fun Pack'!”
`el guapo!”
“You said it, buddy!”
“Sorry, guys.” Kim rolled her eyes. “How could I forget?” Kim leaned back against the padded seat of the bright vinyl and Formica booth as the boy strolled away and tapped her foot anxiously; it had been over a week since she'd last encountered Shego and she was eager to see who came out on top! She suppressed a grin as they left the restaurant together.
“SHEGO! Will you PLEASE stop dawdling and get in the TRUCK?”
“… bite me…”
“What did you say?”
“I said, `Ok by me’, Doc.”
“Oh.” Dr. Drakken furrowed his brow and closed the trailer door on the panel truck. “Sorry, I thought you said something else for a moment.” He gave her a suspicious glance and turned to look back into the large chamber. “I think that I finally have everything worth keeping. I don't care what happens to the rest of this junk.”
Shego returned the nail file to her ankle pouch and surveyed the same dim space; this timeshare lair had served them well enough over the years when they'd needed to rebuild or relocate after Team Possible had interrupted their plans for theft, world domination or good-natured destruction. She didn't understand why they would stop using the place, and Drakken was so cheap that it was seriously unlike him to abandon a lair for no reason. Besides, there were still quite a few cases and crates lying about.
“Doc, why are we bugging-out of this timeshare again? I don't get it” She ignited a low-level plasma field around her right index finger and idly began doodling in the air.
“What design is that you're making?”
“Oh… nothing important.” She smirked; from her point of view she had been clearly writing the word `LOSER’ beneath his visage from across the room.
“Well, anyway, I surprised that you don't already know the answer to that question!” He shook his head and sighed heavily at her. “The entire world seems to know that I frequent this hideout! Why, I'm shocked that you don't remember how many times Kim Possible has shown up out of the blue to have her buffoon sidekick… Lon, something… chase me away while you've remained behind to deal with her!”
Shego did remember; she bit her lip to suppress a grin. She pushed those thoughts aside for the moment.
“How about all of the stuff you've left behind?” She looked into the chamber again and realized that the only thing that she could even identify was an old, disused laser cannon and a floor-model, console television with a TIVO™ resting on top of it. Everything else was a mystery to her. “Aren't you afraid that it'll be confiscated or stolen?”
“Not at all, Shego! It's mostly rubbish and I cannot trouble my brilliant mind about it!”
“Not even if the timeshare realty company keeps the stuff and sells it to Professor Dementor or somebody?”
“Hah! That shows what you know! I would still have the last laugh!” The scar writhed beneath his left eye as his blue face scowled at her. “I'm stiffing them on this month's rent!”
“Ooo… yeah, that'll show `em.” She re-ignited her finger and proceeded to write `DICKWEED’.
“Don't you worry, KP! I've got Drakken on the run!” It was unfortunate that both men were keeping to the same pattern of running around the idling truck in a counter-clockwise circle.
The two young heroes had arrived well before Drakken and Shego could make their escape, which wasn't all that unusual. If Ron had given the sitch just a little more thought, however, he might have wondered why he and his best friend since pre-Kindergarten were `catching’ the two villains pretty regularly these days, almost every Friday evening without fail, to be precise. Ron wasn't much into noticing patterns, especially since Kim was always bringing a different `special mission parcel’ each time. This time it was a large red insulated carton; he had no idea what was inside it.
Kim ducked beneath the powerful kick of an outstretched leg and countered with a kick of her own, followed by a right cross that Shego barely had time to dodge; neither woman had the attention to spare their particular cohorts. Shego had been toying with the younger girl, hoping to draw her in closer by sticking to her martial arts fighting style and not using her plasma powers. Kim knew this for the ruse that it was, relying on her agility and endurance to keep up with the taller woman's attacks. The mighty Shego saw through this quickly enough.
“Let's just step this up a notch, shall we, Pumpkin?”
“Let's!” Kim flashed a perfect grin in anticipation and her teeth shone green in the sudden flaring of emerald death from the hands of her foe. The fight could have continued for hours.
Drakken was getting tired from running around the truck and his single attempt to outwit Ron had failed. Both Drakken and the blond youth had decided on a plan designed to confuse their opponent; the chase continued but this time in a clock-wise direction. It could be argued that Drakken had gained the upper hand, however, because after his first rotation he realized that the driver's side door was hanging open and the truck was already idling in neutral. He leapt up into the cab and slipped the truck into gear.
“SHEGO!” The truck was already moving away from the lair. “Meet me at `Location Zero’ after you've dealt with Kim Possible!” Ron skidded to an abrupt halt and reappraised the sitch.
“KP! Grappling Hook!” Ron raised his arms to catch the gun as Kim unclipped it from her belt even as she was flipping over Shego's head, plasma-sheathed claws reaching up to skewer the young hero. She gauged his direction and distance and the throw was as perfect as the catch. Ron licked him thumb and left a bead of spittle on the open sight of the gun. “I saw Gary Cooper do this in a movie, once!”
“You think you're all that, Kim Possible…!” Drakken screamed out of the driver's side window, not seeing the boy aim and fire the grappling hook at the rear door of the truck. The barbs held fast and the truck sped away, taking with it what little slack remained in the tether.
“… but you're NOT!”
“I got him, KP! I got… WHOA!” Ron was yanked off of his feet so hard that he simply gripped the gun tighter in his hands, being pulled through the air at roughly forty miles per hour. Rufus had been perched on Ron's shoulder throughout the chase around the truck, but tumbled off and landed clumsily on the cold floor of the timeshare, rubbing his bruised keister.
“Ron!” Kim watched as the truck dwindled away into the distance, breaking away from her fight to focus on the lanky boy trailing after the vehicle. “Ron?”
“He can't save you now, Kimmie.”
The girl felt two powerful hands wrap themselves around her upper arms and hold her tight. She had no time to react as she was hauled around and lifted up, her feet leaving the ground, as Shego clamped her mouth around the redhead's own lips. Resistance, as they say, was futile. The passionate embrace did end after a few minutes when the tall villain became aware of a peculiar sensation.
“Princess… are those your hands down my pants?”
“Mm, hm.”
“How did you manage to get your gloves off with me holding you like this?”
“Anything's possible for a Possibmmmmm…” Kim was forced into silence as Shego claimed her mouth again. They remained like that for a short time before breaking for air. The taller woman lowered the petite redhead onto her feet and Shego smacked her black-glossed lips in satisfaction.
“Damn, girl, you kiss like a champion!” The leer was enough to make Kim embarrassed by the compliment.
“So what's `Location Zero’?” Kim took a moment to straighten up, combing her hair away from her face with her fingers and securing it with a rubber band into a simple ponytail. Shego turned towards her and smirked.
“It's a Post Office box at a little town about a half hour's drive from Middleton… it's where he has `special items’ sent that he doesn't want his mother to know about.”
“Ewww.”
“Chill, Kimmie, they're mostly glamour catalogs. It's not like he's into `Chicks With Sticks’, or anything weird.”
“EWWW!” Shego laughed to herself at how the slender girl who had jammed her hands down Shego's pants only a minute ago was screwing her eyes closed and hopping up and down in disgust. “Finding a happy place!”
“So, what's on the agenda for tonight, Pumpkin?” This brought Kim back to the here and now with a leer of her own.
“Let me go and get my `special mission parcel'!” Kim skipped away and Shego walked over to the wall, switching on a few spotlights to illuminate the empty lair a little better. The green and black clad woman did not notice that the last switch that she flipped was a little larger than the rest, or that no corresponding light came on overhead. Instead, rather, a low hum began to build from the laser cannon across from the television set.
She paused to retrieve a special parcel of her own; she pulled the insulated cooler out from behind the console television and set it up on one of the few remaining crates. Kim had returned with her own parcel and had opened the vinyl cover to expose two extra large pizzas.
“I got a plain with extra cheese for me…”
A set of tiny pink ears and a naked pink nose perked up at the word and scent. Rufus scampered closer and hid beneath the tripod legs of the laser cannon, which was starting to glow faintly. Power was building within the machine and tiny lights were flickering to life.
“… and the other is a pepperoni, green pepper and onion for you!”
“Mmm, please and thank you, Pumpkin.” Shego lifted two chilled sodas from the cooler and tossed one to Kim. “So, what, a little dinner and a movie before we get our freak on?”
“Sounds great!” Kim looked around and saw a few old blankets covering some of the crates; she walked over and shook them free of dust before folding them into smaller squares to use as seats. She watched as her secret lover fiddled with the controls on the TIVO™. “What did you want to watch?”
“Well, the Doc and I usually have a few odds and ends recorded for those between the diabolical plan `down times’, so let's just see what we have here…”
She scrolled through the menu, failing to notice that the laser cannon was swiveling around to point in the general direction of where the girls were standing. Rufus was not at all certain that he understood what was going on between Kim and Shego but he didn't like the sound coming from the cannon. He looked up to inspect the device and noticed a cable running out of the machine and over towards the television set; keeping to the shadows and out of sight, he followed it and carefully climbed up the back of the set.
“Oh, here's something.” Shego gestured at an item on the menu. “Either the Doc programmed this thing to record that show or the TIVO™ recorded it automatically.” They regarded the name of the episode from the long-since canceled comedy series. “I guess that this show still runs in the middle of the night, or something.”
“Spank'n! Let's watch that!” Kim smiled at the prospect and Shego selected that program. Meanwhile, Rufus was on the opposite side of the TIVO™ reading the words `Out to ANT’, Out to TV’ and `Out to Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer’. The two women fired up the television and settled down before it, drawing their food and drinks close to watch the show. The focusing laser tracked their position and prepared to fire.
“Mm, Kimmie, I just remembered…” Shego finished chewing her mouthful of pizza and washed it down. “I've got a surprise for you.” She reached into her uniform and pulled out a portable `thumb’ drive. “Do you remember all of the stories written about you by your fans, the fictitious adventures that they've posted on the Internet?”
“Yeah, some are pretty cool.” She ripped into her own slice of pizza. “Why?”
“Well, I happened to find a whole community of folks that write `em about the two of us having a lesbian relationship!” She jiggled the drive. “I've downloaded a few onto this to let you read later!”
“No way!”
“Way!”
There was a flash of light and any further conversation on the matter was halted. The laser had fired and the fabric of space-time rippled before them as a miniscule tear in reality was created in the form of a glowing blue aperture. Both women reacted with equal swiftness, fighting against the pull of the aperture generated by the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer, with Shego suddenly realizing what the laser cannon was and Kim noticing the cable connected to the TIVO™.
“Shit! Of all the damn things to leave behind! Drakken's a dead man!”
“Oh, not again! I hated being trapped in those darn shows!”
“Don't remind me!” Shego clawed at the bare floor as the pizzas and cooler were pulled up into the dimensional vortex. “At least you never ran into `Mr. Sit Down'!” She glanced at the television and saw Rufus staring at the spectacle in amazement. “Hey, isn't that the buffoon's rodent?”
“Rufus!” Kim was loosing her grip even as she turned to see the naked mole rat looking urgently to her for understanding and guidance. “Hey, boy! You need to reverse the polarity of the laser!” A tiny shrug was his only reply.
“Forget it, Princess, it's too late for that!” Both women lost their battle to remain on terra firma and found themselves wrenched up from the floor and sucked into the aperture. The vortex winked out of existence with a `POP’ and Rufus blinked in confusion at the laser cannon, still humming with power. He climbed down from the television set and ambled over to the half-eaten slice of cheese pizza that Kim had dropped, taking a bite as he settled down onto the floor to see what the women were watching. When there was cheese around, anything else could wait for a little while, right? He turned to the television set to see what was playing…
With the `POP’ of reality sealing itself behind them, the girls dropped onto the hard metallic floor of a brightly lit room. They had fallen just far enough to have the wind knocked out of them, making them more than a little uncertain of where they were or what was going on around them. Kim had landed better than her lover and was the first to take a close look around.
“Where are we?” The room was roughly circular, comprised of interlocking hexagonal plates to form a hemispherical dome above their heads. Looking around a little more, she discerned a large hatchway back over her shoulder with a stylized `G’ imprinted on it, and a large desk or console close to her head, across from the hatch. Kim gripped the sides of the console as she pulled herself up onto her feet. Shego was starting to move now, glancing around in pissed curiosity.
“Screw that… what the Hell are you wearing?” The pale woman was inspecting Kim in mild disgust; the redhead inspected her current outfit and saw that it was not what she had been wearing a few minutes before.
“The same thing as you, apparently, just a different color.”
“What? Son of a …!” They were each dressed in standard issue janitorial jumpsuits, Kim's being of a blue and white similar to her highly specialized battle suit that her friend Wade Load had designed. Shego's was not that different in design from her usual harlequin's dazzle-pattern of green and black; the main difference was that it was not as form fitting as her normal uniform nor as villainously stylish. “Dead man… say it with me, kids. Drakken is a dean man!”
The thief was thoroughly disgusted at her attire and their shared sitch but Kim had put two and two together and she was finding amusement in the answer. Kim inspected the smooth console that had only three large illuminated buttons and no other controls. She looked back at the large `G’ hatchway and all around them at the hexagonal plates, one of which seemed to be a deactivated communications screen. She giggled and reached out to grasp Shego around the chest with both arms.
“Ghaa! Kimmie, what the Hell…?”
“We're in the show! We're in the show!”
“What show? What…? Oh, no.” She scowled. “You know what we'll have to do, right?”
“Uh, huh!” Kim was almost bouncing with excitement. “I loved this show! Ron and I used to riff right along with Mike and the `Bots!”
“Yeah, well… I was more of a Joel-gal myself. My brothers and I used to watch the show on KTML before they went cable.” She appraised the `set’ around them, now made all too real in this pocket-universe generated by the Pan-Dimensional Vortex Inducer. “I guess that we're stuck here until either the buffoon returns or his little naked friend figures out how to get us out.”
One of the over-sized buttons on the console began to blink.
“Does that mean what I think it means?”
“Yep! It's the `Mads’ calling!”
“You get it, will you, Kimmie? I'm bitter.” Shego turned away and noticed the pizza boxes and her cooler lying beside some storage lockers a short distance away. She walked over and retrieved them as Kim grinned and hit the button.
Their attention was suddenly split between two events; the particular hexagonal plate that appeared to be a deactivated view screen apparently was a view screen, and it reactivated as a complex iris opened to reveal a dark and cavernous chamber. At the same time, a small sphere the rough size of a softball floated down from the ceiling. The sphere was a simple globe with a lens projecting from it, a lens that was focusing on the girls even as it gently lowered itself to a little below eye level. The word `Cam-Bot’ was etched on one side.
The image on the screen looked familiar to both girls; it was of a dimly lit cavern, reminiscent of may lairs they'd lived in or encountered, respectively, and the stone floor and roughly hewn walls seemed to be slightly askew in the image, as if distorted at an angle somehow. They watched as a man walked into view; he was a doughy man, not very tall and with a fleshy face, wearing a solid black uniform along with an expression of smug befuddlement and his hair was an unlikely silvery-gray with a little spit curl hanging at his forehead.
“So, Mike, are you ready for your experiment today?” His image peered more closely at them from the `hexfield’ view screen. “Heeey… you're not…” His eyes bugged out in realization. “GHAA! Clay! Clay! We've got WOMEN! FEMALE women of the LADY persuasion!” He seemed caught between anxiety and joy as another man walked into view.
“Simmer down, Frank! Don't get your panties in a bind…” The new arrival glared out from the view screen. “Nope, that's definitely not Mike or Joel and if those are `Bots they've been substantially upgraded!”
The other man was taller and bespectacled, wearing a simple outfit of slacks and a button-down shirt, but over this he wore a lab coat that was a horrendous retina-melting neon green color. His hair and mustache were red and unkempt with a few spots of white in them. He crossed his arms with bravado as he addressed the girls, with the doughy man cowering behind him.
“So who are you two, anyhoo? And what are you doing up there on the `Satellite of Love’?” He waited for his answer and Kim stepped forward but Shego held her back.
“We're temps. I'm Shego and this is Kim. We were sent by Hench Co.” She saw the puzzlement in Kim's eyes and whispered to the younger girl out of the corner of her mouth. “This guy's just like Drakken, you got to speak his language.”
“Oh. Well, Ok then.” He clearly didn't understand what was going on but wouldn't let them know this. “This little hole away from home is `Deep-13’ and I'm Dr. Clayton Forrester. This piece of work …” He jerked a thumb over his shoulder at the cowering man, who exposed his face long enough to flash the girls with a grin before hiding again. “This is Frank… `TV's Frank’ if you must know!”
“Look, can we just get this show on the road?”
“Yeah! We have some serious getting-on-of-the-freak planned!”
“Ok, Ok! But first we have to do the invention exchange!” His expression of superiority broadened when he saw the girls look blankly at each other. “Or did the temp agency not train you very well?”
“Crap, Shego, he's right! I forgot about the invention exchange! What'll we do?”
“We stall.” Shego turned to the men on the view screen. “Can you guys go first? We're a little unprepared, here.”
“Oohh, alright!” Dr. Forrester removed a small item from his lab coat and handed it to Frank. “Here, `spankenkeister’, put these on and stand on the big `X’ painted on the floor.”
“Yo-kay!” Frank slipped the item over his face and ambled off, the Doctor moving in the other direction to stand beside a metal wrecking ball hanging from the ceiling by a stout chain; the metal ball had been given a coat of paint, evenly banded in red, blue and green. Kim missed all of this as she was busily rooting around in the lockers, pulling out several items for Shego to inspect.
“Ooh, Kimmie, take that white dress over there and put it on! Then strap that thing down there around your ankle and I'll plug in this extension cord!”
“Are you sure about this?” Kim inspected the white dress and other items doubtfully.
“Eh, HEM… if you don't mind?” Dr. Forrester looked away from the girls and towards Frank a few yards away. “Ready, boobie?”
“That's a big `chi-chi’, skyhammer!” Frank gave a thumb's up. He was wearing a pair of regulation safety glasses, but one half of the transparent plastic was blue and the other half red. Dr. Forrester smiled out through the view screen and proceeded with his invention.
“As you can see, Frank there is wearing my latest invention… a pair of 3D Safety Glasses.” He grinned proudly. “The 3D feature makes items of a certain color scheme appear to be coming at you, and the durable, impact resistant lenses ensure that you won't get hurt if the object really is coming at you!” Forrester looked over to Frank.
“Hey, knuckle-knob, does this wrecking ball look real to you?”
“Wow! It almost looks like it's coming right at me!”
Dr. Forrester grunted as he forced the ball further away from Frank.
“How about now?” He pulled the ball as far as he could and then let it swing freely back towards the doughy man.
“Oh, boy! Now it looks…” There was a harsh THUD as the colorful wrecking ball struck Frank full in the face and knocked him clear out of sight. Forrester winced at the impact and stayed well clear of the swinging ball as he inspected the carnage.
“Yuck… I hope that I hung on to one of Frank's old heads… at least his eyes were protected…” He remembered that he was being watched and glared out at the girls. “Ok, no more Mr. Nice Guy! Make with your invention!”
“Well, sirs…” Shego was ready. “Kimmie here is wearing a very special ensemble that we call `The Seven Year Sitch’.” She gestured behind her where Kim was wearing a stunning white dress; the slender redhead was posing and turning as if she were a fashion model on a catwalk.
“So? What's so special about it?”
“This!” Shego raised the ends of an extension cord and a power cord that trailed back across the floor and underneath the flowing hem of the dress. She joined the cords and the dress suddenly billowed as a blow drier, one that they'd found in a locker and that Kim had strapped to her leg, started to expel a powerful stream of air upwards at Kim's crotch. Shego continued to explain as Kim quickly became glassy-eyed.
“This way you can pretend to be Marilyn Monroe from `The Seven Year Itch’ without having to lug around a pesky subway air vent!”
“Mmmm, Shego, I… oh, wow…”
“…” A battered Frank had joined Dr. Forrester and both men were staring at the invention in mesmerized awe. “…”
“It has three settings. It's currently on `Low’.”
“Sh- Sh- Shego, I…” The lopsided grin on the redhead's face could not have been wider.
“…” The men's faces became larger in the view screen, their eyes bugging out.
“There's also `Medium.” The whine of the blow drier increased in pitch, making the dress billow even more.
“Oh! Oh, that's… mmmmmm!” Kim was having trouble standing and her eyelids began to flutter.
“…” Frank was openly drooling and Forrester's mustache seemed to become frizzier.
“And then there's `High’.” The whine was more shrill, the air more forceful.
“GHAA! OH, YES! DAMN! YES!” Kim failed to make one last pirouette and simply spiraled down to the floor. Her moans could still be heard and Shego grinned at the two men in the view screen, her pale green hands still holding the power and extension cords firmly together. She wagged her eyebrows.
“What do you think, sirs?”
“I…” Dr. Clayton Forrester swallowed hard and shoved the drooling Frank away before attempting to speak again. “I think that you've brought a whole new meaning to the name `Satellite of Love.” He shook himself and cleared his throat. “The experiment today is a film that will warm your hearts, tighten your shorts and leave you looking for the bathroom. It's about two women who… well, I think I'd be preaching to the choir on this one.” He stepped back stiffly and looked away beyond the visual range of the view screen. “Send them the movie, Frank!”
“Live to serve!” Klaxons flared and a siren sounded as the entire room was thrown into chaos. Shego leaned down to help Kim to her feet.
“Pumpkin, get up.”
“Yes, Mistress… what is thy bidding?” The voice was languid.
“Damn it, Kimmie! We don't have time for this!” As if on cue the large red button on the console began to blink rapidly. “You need to change out of that dress and back into the jumpsuit, pronto!”
“Why?”
“Because we've got MOVIE SIGN!” Shego had Kim out of the dress in no time and was unceremoniously tugging the jumpsuit around her as the `G’ hatch opened behind them. They did manage to grab both the pizzas and the cooler before hurrying to the hatch and through a series of consecutive doors to the theater, stumbling a little in the dark towards their seats in time to see the title of the film…
`Maternal Instinct’
KIM: “Whew, I've never gotten out of a dress so fast in my life!”
SHEGO: “So what was that last month when we hooked up after that Global Justice banquet? I think you broke the record that night!”
KIM: “Oh, yeah… heh…”
SHEGO: “Oh, crap…”
KIM: “What?”
S: “Did you catch the title? I think that this `movie’ we're about to see is really from one of the stories that I downloaded!”
K: “ Really? What happens in this one?”
S: “Beats me, I didn't read this one.”
Chapter One: Surprise!
K & S: “Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy BIRTHDAY, dear Blackbird, Happy Birthday to you!”
Dr. Drakken muttered to himself as he sat hunched over his computer and typed away furiously.
K: “Well, that shouldn't take too long.”
S: “Hm? What shouldn't?”
K: “Typing `away furiously’. I mean, it's only thirteen letters and one space.”
S: “I do love you, but you can be such a `tard sometimes.”
He was so caught up in his work that he failed to notice the slender form of his second-in-command Shego standing behind him.
S: “Oh geez, is that me? Does my uniform really make my thighs look fat? Kimmie?”
K: “…”
She had addressed him a few times to get his attention but it didn't seem to be working. She sighed then cupped her hands over her mouth.
“DR. D!” she screamed as loudly as she could.
S: “Dr. Dre?”
K: “Yo, Dr. Dre is in the house!”
Said doctor jumped out of his chair nearly two feet then spun around quickly when he recovered to glare at her.
“Shego! What have I told you about interrupting me!” he screamed back.
“You called for me, remember?” she countered, placing her hands on her hips.
K: “Mmm, smooth, shapely hips…”
S: “Later, Princess, later…”
“Oh yes. That's right. I need your help in my latest, greatest plan to get rid of Kim Possible.”
“Since when do you not need my help? So what are-OW!” she yelped when he poked her with a syringe. She watched as he drew out a small amount of blood then pulled the needle back. “And what was that about?” she asked, rubbing the now sore spot. “Uh no. You're not going to try and clone me, are you? Cause I told you already, many times I might add, NO CLONES!”
K & S: “Zend in ze CLONZ!”
“No, no, no. This isn't a clone at all,” he replied, tucking the syringe away. “This is something entirely different. And it will make it impossible for Kim Possible to stop us for quite some time.”
Shego gagged at the horrible pun. “How long have you been working on THAT one?”
“Only a few days, why?”
She simply rolled her eyes then turned and walked back out of the room. She was positive whatever he had plan would fail like it always did and they would continue the pattern all over again.
Kim sighed as she lay on her bed.
S: “Mmmmmmm…”
K: “But, if that's supposed to be me, where are my…” (glances down at her chest, then back to the screen) “… nevermind.”
The last month had seemed busier then usual. Aside from the usual school related activities, Drakken was also having Shego steal various genetics equipment, retrovirus designs and most disturbing of all her own medical records. When her physician, Dr. Anderson,
S: “I'm Doctor Hans Christian Anderson!”
K: “That's ME!”
had called to tell her the news she was both shocked and repulsed at the idea. Even now, thinking about Drakken having that kind of personal information about her sent a disgusted shudder down her spine.
K: “Oh, great, now everyone will know that I caught `Mono’ from Ron!”
S: (choking on mouthful of soda)
More disturbing was the thought of what he might do with the information. The first thought as another army of Kim clones,
S: “If I am elected, there will be two Kimmies in every garage!”
but Wade dismissed that when he pointed out that Drakken hadn't stolen any incubators to grow one in. Thankfully that also ruled out Ron's idea of some kind of Kim monster.
So what could it be? She wondered. Has to be big with the way Shego's been sneaking around. I just hope it's not another Li'l Diablos kind of plan.
She sighed at the memory Drakken's last big scheme. It had actually been quite well laid out and might have succeeded had Ron not been so passionate about the changes to his beloved Bueno Nacho. His importune call had forced the mad doctor's hand and from there things quickly spiraled into the usual pattern.
Afterwards, however, was anything but usual. She was devastated when she learned the Erik was a Synthodrone, but even more shocked when Ron admitted his feelings for her were a little more than friendly during their capture. She then surprised herself admitting the same feelings for him. After they beat Drakken, they returned to the prom and, with a little help from Rufus, held hands, danced, and eventually kissed. It had not been her first kiss, but it was certainly the most special. It signified a lifetime of friendship turning into something more
S: “The Hell you say!”
and a hope that this new relationship would last forever.
K: “Or maybe even a year!”
For the first month or so it certainly seemed that way; however…
Kim's reminiscing was cut off by the trademark beep of her Kimmunicator.
K: “'Beep’ is a trademark of Kimmunicator, Ltd.”
She pushed herself up with a slight sigh then grabbed communication device.
“What's the sitch Wade?” she asked.
“Got a Drakken sighting,” the young genius replied. “It seems he and Shego are robbing a Better Purchase.”
S: “Hmm, Kim-osabe… we have Drakken sighting… two, maybe three days old…”
“The electronics’ store?”
“Kim please, it's much more than just an electronics’ store. It's the premier place for everything computer related. Though I do have to admit their Nerd Patrol is overrated.”
“Right,” Kim rolled her eyes. “So any idea what Drakken may want there? It doesn't exactly fit his recent pattern.”
“Drakken HAS a pattern?” he asked rhetorically, and then shrugged. “In any case, I don't know. Maybe he just needs some new monitors or computer equipment.”
“And I'm sure he had no intention of pay retail,” she replied, slipping right into her infamous, “mission mode”. “Call Ron and set up a ride. Looks like I might have to do some late night shopping.”
“Already on it.”
K: “Like white on rice.”
S: “Like ugly on an ape.”
K: “Like stink on shit.”
S: (choking on her soda again) “What? What did you just say?”
Kim nodded as the connection was shut down. She sprang to her feet
K: “And flew to the sash!”
and moved quickly towards her closet to get her mission gear. She mentally prepared herself as she changed clothes.
K: “Hmm, so should I dress to the left or to the right, today?”
Going into a fight with Shego without being ready was a very bad idea. The older woman was exceptionally skilled in
S: “Kigo?”
K: “She sure is!”
martial arts and her plasma powers made her an even bigger threat. Kim was honestly surprised that she had survived as many of their fights as she did. Something about fighting Shego helped bring out the best in her own fighting skills. Whether it was the will to survive or simply not wanting to be outdone, she always gave it everything she had when they would meet. In many ways, Shego was much more of her arch nemesis than Drakken. And yet despite that fact, or maybe because of it, she couldn't help but have a small amount of respect for the woman. Maybe it was simply because of her fighting skills or because she was the only one that could truly challenge her, but the respect was there.
K: “Mainly, it's the hooters.”
S: “What about the booty? Don't forget the booty!”
Come on Possible, she chided herself mentally. This is no time to get sentimental. Shego's been outrunning you for the past few weeks now and you need to get your head in the game. She's not going to get away this time and you are going to get back what she took from you.
S: “Her virginity?”
K: (choking on her soda this time)
Resolve in place and mission gear set, Kim walked down the stairs and out of her house. She was determined to make this the last time she would have to go after Shego like this again.
K & S: “FORESHADOWING!”
“Let's see, have it, have it, have it, don't want it, tacky, and-ugh just plain horrible,” Shego muttered to herself as she browsed through the DVD section.
S: “In order, those could be `Saving Face'…”
K: “'DEBS'…”
S: “'Girl Play'…”
K: “'Glory Glory'…”
S: “'Shelter Island…”
K: “'Battlefield Earth'…”
S: “Wait, Pumpkin, `Battlefield Earth’ wasn't about…”
K: “Doesn't matter. That's two hours of my life that I'll never get back.”
She had no idea exactly why Dr. Drakken wanted to break into this store, but she figured as long as she was there she might as well add some things to her movie collection. Unfortunately, despite the store's impressive collection, there was really nothing there at interested her. She already had most of the good ones,
S: “'The Villain Files'!”
K: “'A Sitch In Time!'”
while others just looked something and some where down right offensive. Honestly, did the world really need another entry into the Canadian Cobbler series anyway? She picked up a copy of said movie and ignited her plasma powers, quickly turning the disk and case into a melted hunk of plastic.
“So this is what you've been reduced to? Destroying movies?” a familiar voice quipped.
K: “Well, that's what Tom Cruise gets paid the big bucks to do, isn't it?”
Dropping the still sizzling blob, Shego turned to find her nemesis Kim Possible standing at the other end of the isle. As always happened when she faced the teen hero, a smirk found its way onto her face.
“Just killing some time until you showed up Kimmie. Besides, you should thank me. Selling that `movie’ here is a bigger crime than anything I ever did,” she replied sardonically.
K: “Which movie? `Istar’?”
S: “I think she's talking about `Episode I: The Phantom Menace’.”
“I think we'll let the courts decide that one,” Kim replied going into a defensive position.
“Right, like you'll ever get me in court,” the pale skinned woman replied as she surrounded her other fist in green plasma.
“Seem to remember putting you there a couple of times. Just like jail. And I'll be happy to do so again.” While keeping her eyes firmly on Shego, she inclined her head slightly to the right. “Ron?”
“Yo,”
S: “Adrian!!!”
he replied, poking his head around the corner of the isle.
“See if you can find Drakken while I handle Shego,” Kim ordered.
“Gotcha KP,” he said before he disappeared.
K: “I gotcha `KP’, right here swinging!”
As Kim turned her full attention back to Shego, she noticed the villainess was already charging towards her. She jumped over the plasma charged strike and spun in midair so that she could plant both heels on pale woman's back. Shego grunted as she fell to the floor but quickly recovered and swiped as the red head again with her left hand. Kim leapt over to attack, causing the green plasma covered fist to break and melt several of the DVDs on the rack. Kim landed on top of the fixture, but before she could plan her next move Shego kicked it with all her might, causing it to topple over.
Using all the skills her years of cheerleading provided,
K: “Ok! We all know! I cheered in high school! GET OVER IT!”
Kim deftly jumped from one fixture to another as they continued to topple in domino fashion. Unfortunately, by the time she reached the last one, Shego was already there waiting for her. She went into a crouch and held onto the top of the fixture and her body tensed as she waited for just the right moment. As the plastic and metal construct fell closer to the ground, and more importantly the awaiting Shego, Kim steadied herself further then launched off the fixture at the last moment. Again, her cheer skills
K: “Damn it!”
S: “Relax, Princess, before you have a stroke!”
combined with the momentum helped her avoid a blast of charged plasma and she landed with a perfect handstand onto one of the displayed computer desks. She bounced off that and onto the floor then kicked one of the rolling chairs towards the now charging pale skinned woman.
Unfortunately for her, Shego used to rolling piece of furniture as a spring board to send herself flying towards her adversary. Kim dived under one of the other desks then pulled out one of the small wooden keyboard panels and used it was a shield against the deadly glowing claws. Not surprisingly the cheap wood shattered the second Shego hit it, but it provided enough of a distraction for Kim to bring her foot up and strike the other woman in the chin. She then quickly pounded on her, grabbing her by the wrists and holding her hands down in an attempt to keep them from being used.
“What's Drakken planning Shego? Why did he want my medical records!” she demanded.
S: (as Drakken) “Why, I sell insurance in my spare time!”
“How many times do I have to tell you Princess?” Shego remarked in her usual sarcastic tone. “I never understand Drakken's plans! Hell, half the time I don't even listen to them.”
S: “Hey! I do, too!”
K: “No, you don't.”
S: “Oh, yeah, that's right. I don't.”
“Then why do you keep going along with them?”
“For the chance to fight you of course.”
The answer caught Kim by surprise and caused her to inadvertently relax her position. Shego used this as an opportunity to slide her legs from underneath the red head's then kick her as hard as she could in the stomach. Kim went flying through the air for a short distance and landed hard on her back. She groaned as she held onto a table to help pull herself up. As she did noticed it displayed the latest in portable music devices, in particular the new Ecapsule Mirco.
“I've been meaning to get one of these,” she mused as she picked up the tiny piece of equipment.
S: “… and slipping it into her pocket!”
K: “Hey! I only did it that one time!”
It was about half the size of a pen in length and the size of a quarter in width. How it was able to hold 2,000 songs was beyond her, even with all the tech advise Wade gave her. While it certainly was a cool gadget, the price seemed a little out of her range. Unless of course she could convince her parents that she really, really needed.
She filed that thought away for later and went back to the matter at hand. Namely, the enraged green and black suited woman with the glowing fist running towards her. Acting quickly, she pulled on the device she was admiring, easily snapping the cable that should have kept it in place, and threw it was hard as she good as her opponent. Her aim was perfect and it smacked Shego dead center in the forehead, snapping her head back slightly.
“OW!” she screamed after a slightly pause, rubbing the now sore spot.
Kim used the distraction as her chance to charge and knocked Shego to the ground once more where the two began to grapple with one another, rolling around every so often as they each struggled for dominance. As they continued to fight, they failed to notice a certain blue skinned doctor watching them from the safety of a home theater system display. Thankfully for him, the store had been thoughtful enough to build a small nook in which to display their new product, which provided him an amble hiding spot. He poked his head out from faux wooden wall to get a better look at the fight. By now they were up on their feet again, with their hands still interlocked with the other's and continuing their back and fourth.
“Come on, just a little bit more,” Dr. Drakken muttered as he gripped the small, simple pistol in his hand tighter.
K: (as Drakken) “I'm gonna pop a cap in her ass!”
A maniacal smile crossed his face when Kim Possible was turned so that her back was exposed to him. He brought the gun up to fire, but as he took aim the two flipped so that Shego was the one facing him. He groaned and lowered the weapon, waiting for his next opportunity to strike. It was a longer wait then he would have liked, however, as they kept that pattern for several minutes. Finally, Kim was able to gain the upper hand and kicked Shego away from her. Seeing the opportunity reappear, Drakken took aim once more and was about to fire when…
“Drakken!”
K: “Jim!”
S: “Spock!”
K: “Bones!”
S: “Chief!”
K: “McCloud!”
Ron shouted as he tackled the mad scientist.
The surprise attack caused the “good” doctor to fire his weapon.
S: “So his `weapon’ fired prematurely? Get it, Kimmie?”
K: “Ewww!”
As he fell, he watched in horror as his perfect shot missed and the dart carrying the formula he concocted, the formula which was to bring down Kim Possible, bounced aimlessly around the store. It ricocheted off of monitors, desks, towers, and just about everything else there was in sight. His hopes returned when he saw it finally fly towards her, but it was only to scratch against the exposed part of her lower arm. It did cut her a bit, which in his mind counted for something, but even that “victory” was stripped from him when the dart finally found a home in Shego's arm.
Oh, that is not good, he thought in dismay.
For her part, Shego let out a small yelp when she felt the dart hit her.
S: “So the plan had to been to kill her with acupuncture?”
A sweep kick from Kim sent her to the floor before she could figure what had hit her and proceeded to dislodge the dart.
Now's my chance! Dr. Drakken mused.
He tried to get up but found Ron still holding onto his legs.
“Get off of me!” he shouted as he kicked the blonde sidekick repeatedly.
Once he freed himself, he stood up and pulled out a small control. With the press of a button part of the store's roof exploded and his hover car came floating into view, rope ladder already extended.
K: “Wait, wait… he can explode the roof at the push of a button, but his plan was to hit me with a poisoned dart?”
S: “Welcome to my world, Princess.”
“Shego, we're leaving!” he announced abruptly as he jumped onto the ladder.
“But we didn't even do anything,” she protested.
“I said we're going! So go!”
“Whatever,” she muttered as she turned back to Kim. “See ya around Princess!”
She tossed a rather expensive computer monitor at the teen hero and used the distraction of her catching it to leap onto a nearby desk then jump for the rope ladder. Kim watched helplessly as the two made their escape as Drakken yet again shouted about how she wasn't “all that”. Kim sighed and then placed the monitor back where it belonged as Ron walked up to her.
“You okay KP?” he asked.
K: “Huh? U-O-K-K-P? What does that spell?”
“I'm fine,” she replied.
“But, you're bleeding,”
S: “Hey, my mouth's bleeding, Burt! My mouth's bleeding!”
he said, pointing to the small cut on her arm.
“No big,” she waved it off. “I'm more concerned with what those two wanted here. They didn't seem to do anything other than Shego trying to take a few movies and basically annoy us.”
“Maybe she wanted to add something to her personal collection?”
“I highly doubt it. And even if she did, it really wasn't worth all this.”
“Yeah,” Ron agreed, before he remembered something. “Oh! I did get this off Drakken.”
S: (as Ron) “But the guy at the clinic said that the salve should clear it right up.”
She looked at the object he held in his hand. It looked like a small pistol, but it was far too simple to be anything really effective. From what she could tell there was no way clip or real firing mechanism beyond the trigger. The barrel also looked too large for just a bullet so she assumed it had to be something else.
K: “It's probably a rolled up flag that says `BANG’.”
It was then she remembered how she got her newly required cut and that something had fallen out of Shego when the villainous fell. In almost no time she found the spent dart on the floor and picked it up to examine it.
“What do you think it is?” Ron asked, looking at the object as well.
“No idea. I'll have to have Wade analyzes it,” she said as she tucked it into one of the pouches on her belt.
“Think Drakken's up to another big scheme?”
“I don't know, this seems pretty much standard for him. Maybe he just decided to go back to his usual stuff.”
“Seems to be happening a lots these days,” Ron half muttered.
Kim stared at him in shock. Though she was sure he didn't mean to come off as harsh sounding as it did, it still struck a nerve in her. He apparently picked up on this sudden change and instantly regretted what he said.
“Oh Kim, I'm sorry didn't…” he started.
She held up a hand to stop him. “Don't worry about it. I guess there's still some awkweirdness floating around us, huh?”
K: “Or someone let fly an air biscuit.”
“Yeah.”
“Yeah.”
K: “Yeah?”
S: “Yeah.”
They stood in an uncomfortable silence that had become all too common when the subject of their short lived relationship came up. It permeated for several long seconds before Kim finally spoke.
“Hey, why don't we go to Bueno Nacho as a post mission victory? It'll be my treat,” she offered.
“You sure that's a good idea? They're having a sell on chimarittos; two for a dollar. And of course I'd have to go with my standard Naco order,” he explained.
“Naco!” Rufus agreed, poking his head out of Ron's pocket.
“It's OK; I have enough money to cover all that. I hope.”
Kim's fears were resolved when she found she not only enough to cover four chimarittos and a Naco, but also a medium soda as well as a small tray of nachos for herself.
S: “Pig!”
K: “Hey!”
S: “No, Pumpkin! I mean her, not… oh, never mind.”
They sat at their usual booth with Ron stuffing his face as usual while Rufus munched happily away on the chimaritto his human pal had spared. Kim decided to eat in a more human way and merely snaked lightly
S: “Snakes… Why did it have to be snakes?”
K: “Uh, what happened to `I promise not to make fun of spelling errors?'”
S: “Heh…”
on her nachos as she watched a red light from the Kimmunicator scan over the objects they had salvaged from Dr. Drakken's latest presumably failed scheme.
“So Wade, what's the sitch?” she asked, turning the Kimmunicator towards her.
“From what I can tell it's a normal CO2 gun,” he replied before taking a sip of his soda. “Probably used to shoot that dart. And before you ask, no I don't know what was in it. There wasn't a big enough sample left for a proper analysis.”
“Thanks anyway Wade.”
“Like you say, `no big’.”
She flashed him a smile before she turned the device off and then rested her head on her right hand. She flinched a bit as the action caused the still fresh cut to throb slightly. As she nonchalantly changed over to her other arm, Ron took the time out of his “snackage” to give her a worried look.
“Kim you should really take care of that,” he advised, pointing his index finger at the cut.
K: (as Ron) “Do you want me to shove a burning arrow through it?”
“Huh?” she replied absently before she looked at the wound. “Oh, it's nothing really. I've had worse.”
S: “Hey, if you recall, the lamp and the doorknob were your idea!”
“Yeah I know.”
She quirked an eyebrow at the tone of the reply. Like his response earlier in the night it seemed to carry with it an uncharacteristic air of spite to it. So assumed it came from the lingering romantic feelings they both had, but she couldn't figure out why something like that would set him off. Using a technique she knew still calmed him down she laid her hand gently on top of his.
S: “Ahh! Girly germs!”
“Ron, are you sure everything's alright?” she asked softly.
“Yeah, yeah it is,” he replied, any anger he had subsided. “Sorry about that. I just don't like it when you try to brush off your injuries. You could get seriously hurt doing that.”
“I know, but it comes with our line of work, right? Hey if it makes you feel any better I'll take care of it when I get home, OK?”
“Alright.”
K: “S'alright?”
S: “S'Ok.”
K: “S'Ok?”
S: “S'alright.”
“Good. And…could you please not give me that talk again? You kinda sounded like my mom there and…” she stopped and shuddered.
S: “Is difficult!”
Ron chuckled a bit at the reaction. “Guess that was a little over parenty, huh? I'll do my best not to sound like either set of parental units ever again. But that still doesn't mean I can't be worried for you.”
“Wouldn't have it any other way.”
They sat there for a moment to enjoy a silence that for once wasn't awkward. One that they hadn't been in for a long time. The silence that came with the unspoken bond between them that they would be there for each other no matter what life threw at them.
S: “Bonk!”
K: “Ow! Life just threw something at me!”
While to two teen heroes strengthened their bond, miles away a different scenario was playing out. Dr. Drakken and Shego returned to his lair in defeat once again. This hardly came as a surprise to Shego as she figured his latest plan would fail even before it was started. Not that she really knew what his plan was. He had refused to share it with her and as far as she was concerned it was merely random destruction, not that she minded one bit. It helped her work out some frustration and she got to go toe-to-toe with Kimmie again and that as always fun.
What had surprised her, however, was Dr. Drakken's request that she take that rest of the night off. Hardly one to turn down free off time, she still found it odd that he didn't want her there while he did his usual post failure ranting. Still, if he wanted her to take the night off she didn't mind. She was feeling unusually tired.
S: “Zzzzzzzzzzz…”
K: “Shego, wake up, the movie's still on.”
S: “Kimmie, that was a joke, I wasn't… oh, never mind.”
More surprises waited for her the next day when she found out Drakken had put her on light duty. This essentially meant she was stuck at the base with very little to do. Again she didn't mind it for the short term, but when it quickly turned into days and then weeks a great deal of frustration began to set it in. It didn't help matters when almost every day he could ask her how she was feeling and then retreat into his personal lab
K: “To write and post fanfics…”
when she told him she was fine.
Nearly a month had gone by since the Better Purchase fiasco and Shego was ready to tear the walls down from all the inactivity. It was to the point that she was actually hoping Dr. D would come up with some ridiculously overcomplicated plan just so she could go out and do something. At the moment she was simply prowling the halls to see if any of the henchmen wanted to train with her, but they were at least smart enough to know not to mess with her when she was in this sort of mood. Despite his claims of being a genius, Drakken was not so smart however.
“So Shego, how are you feeling today?” he asked good naturedly.
K: (as Drakken) “Have you met all of your insurance needs?”
“Why do you keep asking me that!” she screamed as she shoved her face into his.
“I…just want to know about the well being of my people is all,” he said rather unconvincingly.
He tapped his fingers together and darted his eyes from side-to-side as she continued to glare draggers through him. He knew his lie was quickly falling apart without someone else there to direct the question towards. Luck finally seemed to smile upon him though as a henchman entered the corridor.
“You there!” he shouted, pointing to the unsuspecting man. “Henchman…what's your name again?”
S: “My name is Torgo. I take care of the place while the Master is away…”
“Percy sir,” said Henchman replied.
“Percy, yes, of course. So Percy, how are you feeling?”
“I'm fine. Wondering when I'm going to get paid.”
“You're check's in the mail.”
S: “Yeah, and I won't co…”
K: “Shego, don't you dare!”
“That's what they all say,” Percy muttered as he moved on.
Drakken wanted to give him a dirty look, but he knew that might blow his cover. Instead he tried to look innocent, and of course failed miserably. Shego continued to glare at him for several long, long seconds before she finally let out a huff and walked away from him. He waited until she was gone to let out a heavy sigh of relief and collapse onto the floor.
If I'm right about this, I may want to look into renewing my health insurance, he thought grimly.
Vowing to preserve his health as best he could, Drakken stayed out of Shego's way for the next few days
K: “Public Service video #4… `How Not To Be Seen’.”
and things continued on in this new pattern. That was until Shego found herself awoken by a powerful nausea that sent her scrambling into her private bathroom and bent over the toilet for a good forty-five minutes. When she was positive she was finished, the brushed her teeth for another ten minutes to get the horrible taste out of her mouth and then went in search of her prey. Any henchman unfortunate enough to find his way into her path became closely associated with the hall or floor as she stalked her way to Drakken's private lab. She flung up the large, double doors with such force that they smashed into the walls and created small cracks, to say nothing of giving the good doctor quite the scare. He had jumped nearly five feet into the air then spun around to face her, his usual blue skin almost pale white.
“DRAKKEN!” she screamed upon seeing him.
S: “Gilligan!”
K: “Skipper!”
S: “Little Buddy!”
She moved with inhuman speed and was on top of him before he could even mutter a word. She held him by the collar of his shirt, claw tips easily slicing through fabric and slightly through the skin, while her other hand was draw and charged with plasma; ready to delver a killing blow should he give a wrong answer.
S: “Wow, that Pat Sajak is really a bad-ass!”
“WHAT? DID. YOU. DO?” she growled, adding more malice to each word.
“What…makes you think I did…anything?” he replied, still trying to play innocent.
This only resulted in her yanking and cutting him even harder. He flinched at both the pain and her vicious expression.
“Alright, alright!” he said quickly. “Do you happen to remember that incident in Better Purchase about a month and a half ago?”
She nodded.
“Well that little pinch you felt was the dart that was to be part of my master plan to be rid of Kim Possible.”
S: “Played by Jimmy Smits.”
“And…” she said to gritted teeth.
“And the buffoon tackled me and I lost my balance and I accidentally hit you.”
“Figured that part out. WHAT DID IT DO!”
“It held within it a small retrovirus I devised with the help of that sample of your DNA.”
“My DNA?”
He began to shake uncontrollably now. “Well…yes. You see I had planned to have the retrovirus and your DNA injected into her body and that in turn would impregnate her.”
“WHAT?” Shego screamed again, the fire in her eyes, and on her hand, glowing brightly.
“Well obviously that didn't work, did it? I naturally assumed that since the initial sample came from you, it would just break back down into your body and that would be the end of it. But then I remembered that it also caught Kim on the arm and cut her, so I assume that her DNA mixed with the virus and your DNA and…well…congratulations?”
K & S: (as Tom Petty) “Congratulations… for breaking my heart…”
Shego stood there frozen. A violent tick developed under her left eye as she struggled with the information she had just been given. She really couldn't tell what was worse; the fact that Drakken had violated her trust-hell violated her-and used her DNA to try to violate another woman who she begrudgingly respected, or the fact that the plan had backfired and now she was the one who was pregnant.
S: “Huh?”
K: “What?”
S: “Just wait a damn minute, here!”
Pregnant with the baby of her worst enemy, who just happened to be another woman. There was so many things wrong with that idea that didn't know where to begin. Nor could she think of any long term solution to the problem. But there was a short term solution. One that would bring her instant gratification.
K: “Like chocolate.”
It was the only thought she could form right now. And it was quite simply; Make. Drakken. Hurt.
The ensuing scream could be heard though out the entire complex, if not the entire state. While most of the henchmen merely winced in sympathy for what may be happening to their employer, one particular henchman merely sighed and turned back to his computer.
“Well, guess I better start working on my resume,” Percy muttered.
S: “So… I'm knocked up?”
K: “You'll make such a wonderful Mommy!”
Shego stared at the doors of the clinic blankly. She thought that once she got rid of those pesky little protestors, she figured the decision would be easy. But it wasn't.
S: “Shego has a problem… `down there’.”
K: “What Shego didn't realize was that she'd accidentally driven to a Veterinary Clinic and that she'd just wasted a dozen members of PITA.”
And she had no idea why. She knew it was stupid to be afraid, because it was really just one little operation and then it was all over. It would be easier to do this than have to deal with the other option. So then why couldn't she just go in there?
Dammit Shego, stop being so stupid! she chided herself. There's really nothing to it at all. You've just been watching too many mad for TV movies. You don't really want to go through the whole motherhood thing, right? Child birthing, breast feeding,
K: “Mmmmm…”
S: “Fixate much, Kimmie?”
changing diapers, waking up at all hours of the night? Ugh. Not for me. So all I have to do it walk in there and get this over with.
She nodded firmly in her resolve. This was really it. She was going to walk in there and do this thing.
Yep. Here we go. Walking in right now, she cheered herself on.
But she still stood.
“Dammit,” she cursed under her breath. “When did I get to be so soft?”
K: “… around the middle.”
S: “I am not fat!”
The question went unanswered as one of the workers in the clinic poked her head out the door to offer her a new one.
“Uh…miss? You've been standing out here for five minutes. Can we help you?”
“No,” she replied solemnly. “There's only one person who can help me now.”
K & S: “FLASH! Aa-aaah! He saved every one of us!”
With that she walked off, leaving the completely confused. Although she had no way of knowing, the feeling was completely mutual for Shego. She didn't know why she was doing this or even what was going to happen, but deep down she knew she had to tell her.
Kim tried to stifle a yawn as she walked up to her locker. She wasn't sure which was more tiring; foiling the latest plan of one of her crazy foes or getting through an entire lecture in history class. She had heard the expression of not learning from history and did find the subject genuinely fascinating at times, but the way they taught in high school…it could almost count as torture. Of course it didn't help matters that she had just arrived from foiling one of said villains plans. This time it had been DNAmy with one of her latest genetic combinations of a Gorippopotamus.
S: “I'd beat him from top to bottom-us!”
K: “How'd you like it if somebody picked your apples?”
She soon found out that combing the throwing strength of a gorilla with the intestinal track of a hippopotamus lead to a rather…messy confrontation. Luckily for her, its aim was terrible. Not so lucky for DNAmy.
As soon as she opened her locker, Wade's face appeared on the monitor of the small computer housed inside. She always wondered how he happened to have just the perfect timing, but shrugged it off as a computer genius thing.
K: “Or a pervert thing?”
“What's up Wade?” she asked.
“Someone left a message for you on the site,” he explained.
“No surprise there. What's it say?”
K: “My friend and I just turned 18…”
“Just to meet her in the abandoned warehouse at Pier 13 at 7:00 tonight.”
“Cryptic,” Kim quipped. “Did they leave a name?”
“Nope. It was just signed Miss S.”
S: “Snoopy?”
K: “More like slutty!”
S: “Hey!”
“Great,” she sighed. “I guess I should go check it out.”
“It could be a trap.”
“Probably. But if someone does need my help, who am I to turn them down?”
Wade smirked. “You wouldn't be Kim Possible, that's for sure.”
“Exactly. So can you print me out a map to this place?”
“Yep. Do you need me to set up a ride?”
“No I think I can handle this one on my own. Gotta take advantage of that driver's license sometime.”
“Guess so. Just as long as you don't forget all about me,” he joked.
“Wade I'd be lost without you.”
K: “That is your name, right?”
The young hacker smiled at her before he printed off the map. She took it with her usual “Please and thank you” then went about finding Ron to explain the sitch to him. The rest of the day passed along rather uneventfully and it seemed all too soon the 7:00 deadline rolled around. A surprising since of dread came over Kim as she pulled her family car up to the warehouse. Usually she viewed going into a mission slightly tense as a good thing. It meant she still knew the danger she constantly faced and therefore would be on her guard. But something about tonight in particular felt…off. She just couldn't place her finger on what.
She pushed the thought aside for now and slipped out of the car, Ron following close behind her. They approached the warehouse carefully, on alert for any signs of a trap or ambush. Much to their surprise one of the main doors had been left wide opened.
“That's convenient,” Ron remarked.
“A little too convenient,” Kim said.
S: “A whole lotta too convenient.”
They continued with their cautious approach and slowly stepped into the dimly lit warehouse. Kim slipped on the night vision sunglasses Wade had created for her and did a scan of the immediate area, and found nothing. She wasn't too surprised, as she doubt anyone would make an ambush that obvious. Well, except for Drakken of course. But this really didn't seem like his style.
So then, who could it be?
K & S: “Knocking at my door…?”
she wondered.
“Hello! Is anyone there! Hello!”
S: “Just nod if you can hear me… is there anyone home…?”
K: “We're not gonna let this degenerate into a `songfic’, are we?”
Ron called out, snapping Kim back to reality.
“Ron!” she chided as she pulled the sunglasses off her face.
“What? I want to get this over with, I'm hungry.”
“Well then I won't keep you waiting too long,” a new and familiar voice added.
Kim spun around so quickly she almost did a complete 360 turn. She watched apprehensively as the pale skinned, green and black jump suited figure stepped out of the shadows and into what little like the broken windows provided.
“Shego!” cried out, ready to jump into action at a moment's notice.
“Ah!” the villainous shot back, holding up a hand. “I didn't call you here to fight you.”
“So then you are Miss S.”
K: “More like `Queen Bee-otch’.”
S: “Damn it!”
“Thought you'd figure it out pretty quickly,” Shego mused then looked at Ron. “You, not so sure about.”
“Oh I got it! I-I totally got it,” he tried to cover.
S: (as Ron) “Nope, I don't really get it, no.”
Shego simply rolled her eyes. He was as bad at lying as Drakken was.
“So if you didn't call me here to fight, then why? Finally giving yourself up?” Kim asked.
She snorted. “You wish.” She then sighed and dropped her shoulders slightly. “No I'm afraid I have some pretty big news.”
“Drakken's giving up?” Ron asked hopefully.
“No. But now that you mention it, you won't have to worry about him for a looong time.”
Kim gave her a question stare.
“You'll figure that out once I tell you the big news,” Shego went on.
“Which is…?”
“About a month and a half ago we have a fight in that electronics store, you got a cut on your arm.”
The teen hero nodded as she absentmindedly rubbed the since then healed cut.
“Turns out that cut was from a dart that Dr. D fired but missed cause the sidekick here,” she jerked a thumb towards Ron, “tackled him and caused him to miss.”
“Who the man?” the blonde ask.
“Ron,” Kim chided again.
“Exactly.”
“Anyway,” Shego spoke up, trying to steer the conversation back on track. “As it so happens that dart had some of my DNA mixed in with a retrovirus that was supposed to make you pregnant.”
K: “That's not how Mom described it in `The Talk'…”
“WHAT!” the red head cried out incredulously.
“Oh it gets better. It hit me and because that cut added your blood to the mixture…well…” she paused and patted her stomach. “You're gonna be a daddy.”
Kim's mouth hung open in awe. Out of all the things she had prepared herself for in this encounter, this was certainly not one of them. Nor was it something she thought she could ever hear. She thought that maybe one day, long into the future, she could have kids but never did she dream she would be the “father”. And with Shego?
Wait. This IS Shego we're talking about here, she reminded herself. This has to be some kind of trick.
“Yeah,” she said out loud, drawing odd looks from the other two. “Uh I mean…this has to be some kind of trick. And it's a pretty low on, even for you Shego.”
“Oh please! You think I would make up a story like this?” she demanded.
“Yes,” both Kim and Ron said flatly.
“Well while making you squirm is always fun, what would I have to gain from humiliating myself?”
K: “Because you want to be on Fear Factor?”
S: “Or maybe get a book deal?”
Kim thought about it for a moment. “I…guess that's true. Still I can't be the `father’ that's just…”
“Sick and wrong?” Ron offered.
“That and impossible.”
“And here I thought anything was possible for a Possible,” Shego retorted.
K: “I thought that you said you were on the pill!”
S: “Well, I expected you to be wearing a glove!”
“She's got you there KP.”
Kim sent a glare to her supposed “best friend”.
“Who's side are you on, anyway?” she asked.
“You're side of course, I'm just saying she had a point.”
“Be that as it may,” she said as she looked at Shego again. “I still don't believe any of this.”
“Well I'm sure that little doohickey of yours has a way to scan people. Why don't you just call of your geek and have him do one?” the older woman suggested.
S: “Or I could pee on one of those little plastic thingys.”
Kim glared at her rival for a moment, still unsure what she was trying to accomplish with all this madness. Despite herself, she reached into her pocket and pulled out her Kimmunicator, quickly turning it on and calling up her friend.
“Wade,” she said with a hint of urgency.
“Uh, yeah Kim?” he asked, taken aback by the tone.
“I need you to scan someone for me and see if you can pick up any other life signs.”
“O…kay.”
She pointed the device towards Shego, who stood with her arms out in return.
S: “So you want me to pee on this, right?”
K: “No! Ewww!”
A green beam shot out from the sensor on the top and traveled up and down her body. When it was finished Kim stared intently at the screen and watched as Wade's fingers flew effortlessly over his keyboard. In a matter of seconds he had the answer, but it still left him looking confused.
“It's faint, but I'm definitely picking up another life sign,” he informed her and looked at the scan again. “Kim…is that Shego with you?”
“Yeah. I'll get back to you with the whole story,” she replied and turned off the Kimmunicator before he had a chance to say more. She glared at the pale woman again. “OK so you are pregnant. Doesn't mean your story's true though. It could just mean that you-”
“AH!” Shego cried, cutting her off. “I told you I wasn't going to fight you, so if you want to keep it that way don't finish that sentence. And even if it was someone else's, why would I come to you?”
“I…don't know.”
“Exactly.” She sighed again and her body language softened even more. “Look, I know you have no right to believe me and I don't blame you. I've lied in the past. A lot. Probably lie again in the future. But for right now I want you to look me in the eyes,” she paused to make sure Kim did as she asked. “Good. Now just put everything that's gone on between us in the past and trust me when I tell you; I am having your baby.”
S: “Wrongsick!”
For once, Kim found herself at a complete loss. She had stared Shego in the eyes when she said that and there were many emotions on display in the two emerald orbs; confusion, panic, uncertainty, and even a bit of fear.
K: “…sniffle…”
S: “What's wrong?”
K: “Nothing! Nothing…”
But the one thing that should have been there wasn't; deception. There was absolutely no falsity behind those words. Shego was actually telling truth. She was going to have Kim's baby. Kim was going to be a parent.
S: “Hm…”
K: “What? You're not crying, are you?”
S: “Hell no! It's just… just something in my eye… that's all.”
Which was perfectly fine, because she was the girl who could do anything. And at that moment there was only one thing she could think to do.
Faint.
To Be Continued…
Chapter Two: “We're having a baby!”
Darkness
That was all she knew at the moment; the darkness that surrounded her. It wasn't a bad kind of darkness; in fact it was quite peaceful. The kind one would find in a dreamless sleep. It was comforting and held a promise that it would keep away all the bad things in life. It was a feeling the great teen hero Kim Possible rarely got, so she planned on enjoying as long as she could.
Unfortunately, that only ended up being about thirty seconds.
“Kim! Kim!” she heard someone calling.
S: “Come back, Kim! Wait, I mean Shane! Come back, Shane!”
The voice sounded vaguely familiar, but she couldn't quite place it at the moment. All she knew was that it was trying to pull her away from her peaceful, non-dreaming sleep and she couldn't have that. She fought off the annoying voice for as long as she could, but it persisted, drawing her ever closer to consciousness.
S: “Don't look into the light, Marian!”
She let out a soft groan as she slowly became aware of her surroundings. The first thing she noticed was the hard, cold floor she was laying on, probably concrete from the feel of it. The second was a soft breezing being blown on her right ear. Finally she acknowledged the voice that was still calling her name. She cracked open an eye but could only make out a mass of black, peach and yellow hovering over her. She blinked a few times before she reopened her eyes and they finally focused on Ron looking down at her in concern. She could make out a pink blur from the corner of her eye fanning her with something white and assumed it was Rufus using a handkerchief.
“Ron?” she asked uncertain.
“It's me KP. You OK?” he asked back.
K: “… and you're listening to KPOK, light jazz for the bay area…”
“I just had the most horrible, horrible, nightmare.”
S: “Where Ted Kennedy becomes President?”
“Did it have anything to do with Shego saying that you were her baby's daddy?”
K: “Who your baby's Daddy is!”
Kim's face scrunched up in confusion at the remark.
“How did you know that?” she asked a bit hesitantly.
“Because it's actually happening,” a second, much too familiar voice said.
Kim tilted her head towards the source of the voice and found Shego standing over her as well. She smirked down at the fallen hero for a second before a thoughtful look crossed her face and she tapped a finger against her chin.
“Although, I would definitely say this counts as a nightmare,” she remarked.
“Definitely,” Kim agreed as she pulled herself to feet. She dusted herself off before she looked towards Shego again. “So?”
“So?” the pale woman answered back. “I told you. You know. So now I'm out of here.”
S: “Goodnight, Cleveland!”
With that she turned and started to leave the dark warehouse, leaving a very stunned Ron and especially Kim behind. That was her plan at least, until Kim vaulted over and landed right in front of her, blocking the path.
“Where do you think you're going!” Kim asked indignantly.
“I dunno. Away from here,” Shego answered.
“To where?”
“I. Don't. Know.”
“Have you even thought about what you're going to do to raise this child?” Kim tried to reason with her.
Unfortunately, this only succeeded in putting a nasty thought in her head. Panic and fear gripped her as she gripped Shego's shoulders, a bit more tightly than the villainess would have liked.
“You are going to have this child, right?” she practically pleaded.
“Calm down Princess, I already went through that and yes I am having the baby,” Shego reassured her.
Kim lowered her head as she let out a sigh of relief. As she thought about the statement, however, an anger suddenly flared up inside her. It was an anger she had never felt before and couldn't quite explain where it came from. Part of her knew it was irrational, but she couldn't fight it. As it washed over her,
K: “Like a soft, spring rain…”
she gripped Shego's shoulders tighter, surprising them both. She slowed lifted her head again to give the woman a glare that seemed to cut right into her soul.
“You did what?” Kim growled in an eerily soft voice.
“I…uh…” Shego stammered, taken aback by this sudden change.
“You tried to kill my baby!”
S: “I thought that a Dingo ate your baby.”
“No!” The older woman shouted as she brought her hands up and swatted away the arms holding her. “I'm trying to tell you I didn't do that! And I'm the one actually having the kid!”
“It's still part of me!”
“It's part of me too!”
Acting on instincts honed from their previous encounters, the two rivals took defensive stances and stared coldly into the other's eyes. Shego ignited the plasma around both her hands, forgetting about her condition for the moment and focusing only on the one thing that seemed to make sense right now; beating Kim Possible.
S: “I'll sink your frigging battleship!”
For her part, Kim was trying to keep herself calm, but the idea of what Shego had suggested she tried still made her blood boil. Over the time they had know each other, the pale woman had seemed bent on taking everything from her and now almost took her legacy. There was no way Kim was going to let her get away with that.
“Uh…excuse me, ladies,” Ron spoke up, hoping to break off the fight before it started. “Need I remind you that you only came here to talk? And that one of you really shouldn't be fighting right now?”
They turned their heads towards him and stared at him blankly. He waved at them nervously and gave an awkward smiling; hoping at least Kim would come to her senses and keep from hurting herself or Shego or most importantly, him. Fortunately, it seemed his luck held out this time as Kim finally sighed after too long a silence and relaxed her pose.
“He's right,” she said in a soft, apologetic tone. “We can't fight with you…like that.”
K: “You know, all preggers, and such.”
“Yeah I guess not,” Shego agreed, soundly slightly disappointed as she deactivated her powers.
“There we go. Now maybe we can go back to talking about this very sick and wrong subject in a civilized manner,” Ron advised as he stepped forward and placed a hand on each of their shoulders.
They glared at him again and he quickly withdrew, holding his hands out in front of him in an “It's cool” gesture. He was about to say something else when Rufus scampered up to his shoulder and held the blonde's lips shut with his little paw.
“Shhh!” the naked mole rat inclined.
His master chose wisely to listen to him and merely stepped back to let the two women continued their conversation. With him out of the picture, they once again looked at each other but this time with a much gentler gaze. In fact, it seemed to Kim that Shego was looking guilty about something. She was about to asked another question but was cut off even before she could open her mouth.
“Look,” Shego started. “I did think of having an abortion, I'm not gonna lie to you.”
“First time for everything,” Kim muttered as she folded her arms over her chest.
K: “Ouch!”
S: “Careful, Princess, those boobular chesticles of yours are pointy.”
Shego gave her a dirty look before continuing. “BUT I decided I couldn't go through with it.”
The red head let out another relieved sigh and lowered her arms.
“Not that I'm complaining, but what stopped you?” she asked.
“Believe it or not Princess, you did.”
“I did?”
“Yeah. I kept hearing your annoying voice nagging at me as I stared at the clinic.”
S: “… and then later when I stopped for gas, and after that while I rented a movie… Nag, nag, nag!”
Kim went back to being annoyed. “Gee thanks.”
“Welcome,” Shego smirked. Her expression went back to melancholy as she continued. “Plus I figured you had the right to know. Like you said, this baby is a part of you too. And…”
“And? What and?”
For the first time in a long time Shego found herself afraid and unable to face her opponent. She turned away from the teenage hero as she placed her hands protectively over her stomach.
“You met my brothers,” she said over her shoulder. “You know what happened to us. That meteor changed our lives in a lot of ways. The obvious of course being our powers and…well…” waved a hand across her face. “But it changed us on the inside too. Everything still works the same but our genes kinda got…skewed let's say. Because of this I…well…didn't think I'd actually be able to have kids. So then this happened…”
K: “Preggers!”
“You were amazed and thought it might be your only chance to bear a child?” Kim offered.
The raven haired woman chuckled at the reply. “You know, it always did amaze me that you could do that.”
“It's a gift.”
Silence filled the warehouse tried to figure out their next move while Ron and Rufus continued to watch from the sidelines. Now that the details of the situation were out in the open, all that was left was to figure out how to deal with them. For Shego, that meant trying to think of what exactly she was going to do now. She decided that she was going to have the baby but she really didn't know the first thing about child rearing. With all that had happened in the past, there was no way that she could turn to her family, not that she would really want to. Technically, she could raise the child on her own as she had enough money saved up from her villainous career to support herself and a baby for quite some time. Plus it wasn't like single parent homes were rare in this day and age. Still…the thought of raising the child by herself…scared her. She hadn't felt truly scared like this since the meteor changed her. After that she figured she could handle anything life threw at her.
Of course she never expected anything like this to happen. But she could handle it. She knew she could. She just needed to take a moment and think of a plan.
S: “Naw, I got nothing.”
Before she could get too far into said plan, her train of thought was broken when she felt a gentle hand land on her shoulder. She turned to find Kim standing closer to her and giving her a soft, reassuring smile. It was something she thought she would never see directed towards her from the red head and it was a little unsettling. It was strangely comforting too and, much to her surprise, Shego found herself relaxing because of it.
“Look,” Kim started, speaking softly. “I know you probably want to try to handle this yourself, and I don't doubt that you could, but the baby's part of me too. Let me help you in raising it or at the very least seeing it born.”
K: “Ewww! Gross!”
Shego was going to try and offer a rebuttal, a reason why she didn't want or need the teen hero's help, but nothing came. Instead she simple sighed and closed her eyes while she dipped her head.
S: “Into the terlet…”
“Alright,” she agreed.
The smile that Kim's lips suddenly curled up into threatened to split her face in half. She didn't know why the announcement made her so happy and the moment she didn't really care.
“That's great!” she said enthusiastically. She then reached out and grabbed Shego's wrist. “Come on, I know just where we need to go now.”
“Huh! Wha!” Shego stammered when she suddenly found herself being dragged along behind the red head.
“Ron, let's go!” Kim ordered as she past him.
The sidekick in question simply watched in a daze as former girlfriend walked out of the warehouse dragging her former rival behind her like a straggling pet. Ron looked towards his own pet still standing on his shoulder and the two shrugged at each other in confusion. He didn't know where Kim wanted to take them but he was sure that all this craziness was just getting started.
Middleton was by no means a big city nor was it a small town, merely a town.
K: “It's a dump. It's got the second highest crime rate in the whole world.”
Despite its relative smallness, Kim knew it was still a good drive from the warehouse where Shego had requested to meet and her new destination; Middleton General Hospital. The two buildings were on the opposite sides of the town so she knew she had to hurry if she wanted to get there in time. Of course, being that it was almost 7:30 on a Friday night she knew she was pushing her luck in thinking that the person she wanted to see was even still there.
S: “Her bookie?”
But it was the only thing she could really think to do at the moment, so she hoped he was there.
While Kim focused on who they were going to see, Shego was more focused on where they were going. Even before she got her powers, she never liked going to the hospital and afterwards it was one of the very things she would admit to being afraid of. It seemed like all doctors ever wanted to do was poke and prod her, which made her feel like a rat trapped in a cage.
S: “Hey! Can I get some clean cedar chips over here? Hey!”
So when Kimmie finally let it slip as to where they're going her first instinct was to throw the car door open and roll out to freedom. That idea was squashed, however, when she remembered her current condition so she settled for simply slumping back with her legs crossed and arms folded as she glared draggers into the back of the girl's head, hoping to convince her to take her somewhere, anywhere, else.
Unfortunately, that tactic didn't seem to be working. With a sigh, she resigned herself to the fact that she was going to a hospital whether she liked it or not. She glanced out the window to try to focus on something else, but Middleton offered very little in the way of eye catching sites.
K: “Oh, look! There's a `Yarn Barn'!”
It certainly was a far cry from the tower buildings and neon lights of Go City. How someone like Kim could stand to live here she would never know.
Speaking of whom…she turned her gaze back to the world saving cheerleader driving the car. So far she had been unusually quite during the trip, which wasn't too surprise given the bombshell she had just had dropped on her. She was probably trying to figure it all out just like Shego was. Still, there was something else about it there sat uneasily for the pale skinned woman. She had caught Kim looking at her through the rearview mirror a few times, but never looking over at her goofy sidekick in the front passenger's seat. Not that she blamed her; he was hardly an impressive physical specimen. There was just a vibe between the two she had picked up on since their meeting in the warehouse. She had an idea of what it was, but needed to find a way to confirm it. Shrugging, she decided just to go for the direct route.
“So…you two are an item now, right?” she asked.
Their reactions told her everything she needed to know. They both stiffened at the question and started to fidget about nervously. A sly grin spread across Shego's face as thoughts of how to have fun with this information entered her mind.
“The fairy tale ending didn't go quite like you thought, eh?” she prodded smugly. “So what was the problem? Stoppable no good at the…night time activities?”
K: “He's no big…”
S: “GHAA! I cannot believe that you just said that!”
K: “Well…”
At this the car screeched to a sudden halt. Thankfully it happened to coincide with the light in front of them changing red. Once the car settled from it rapid stop, Kim poked her head round the drivers seat and gave Shego a cold, hard stare that would paralyze just about anyone else.
“We are NOT having this conversation!” she snarled.
“Yeah!” Ron agreed, imitating the look quite well.
S: “THEN WHO ARE WE YELLING AT?”
K: “I DON'T… I mean, I don't know!”
Shego had to bit her lip to keep from laughing out loud at their reactions. It amused her when she could get under Kim's skin in any way and that definitely seemed to do the job. She thought about pursuing the joke further but figured it was able to leave it alone. For now.
“So Shego,” Kim looked at her through the rearview mirror as she spoke, “since you're so eager to talk all of a sudden, mind telling us what you did with Drakken?”
“I took care of him,” Shego answered offhandedly.
“Took care of him how?”
S: “Youse know… bumped off, wearing a cement overcoat, sleeping with the fishes…”
“Well I didn't kill him if that's what you're asking. I just…made sure he got the message that it wasn't OK to do things like this.”
“So where is he now?” Ron asked.
“Tucked away somewhere nice and safe,” Shego replied, the devious grin covering her face again.
The warden of Foxriver penitentiary had seen a lot over his many years of service. Beatings, stabbings, even elaborate escape plans were all old hat to him, but what the captain of the guard had called to tell him took even him by surprise. He arrived as quickly as he could from his house and was currently being led to the cell in question where the captain stood and stared at the person in the small, barred room.
“What's this all about Bellick?” he asked.
“Strangest damn thing I've seen. Even for this place,” the captain replied as he gestured to the person.
The warden looked into the cell and found a man huddled up in the fetal position on the lower bunk, sucking on his right thumb like a child. Two things immediately caught the older man's attention; 1) was the “prisoner's” blue skin and 2) was the abject look of fear in his eyes. Even with all his years of experience it still took him a moment to process this information.
“What happened?” he asked, turning back to the Bellick.
K: “Weeeeell… the Warden threw a party at the county jail…!”
S: “I thought we said this wasn't a songfic?”
“Don't know,” the younger man replied. “Found him dumped outside looking like he'd been beaten to hell and back. When we asked him what happened he just demanded we lock him up.”
“Why?”
“He said to keep himself safe.”
The warden gave him a confused look then went back to studying the blue skinned man in the cell.
“You already put him in a uniform?”
S: “Yeah, a frilly, little pink French Maid uniform!”
“Had too,” Bellick replied. “The clothes he had on were torn to shreds. So…what should we do with him?”
“I…guess we'll keep him here over night and then call someone in the morning to get this all straightened out.”
K: “So we'll make up the guestroom!”
Bellick nodded in acceptance and thanked the warden for coming in so late before he and one of the other guards escorted him out. The captain lingered a moment to glare disgustingly at the curled up figure in the cell. Just what he needed, another wacko to look after.
By the time the Possible family car pulled into the parking lot of the hospital it was slightly after 8:00 and the regular entrance had been closed for the night.
K: “Darn, I really hate having to use the `irregular entrance'!”
Fortunately, being the daughter of one of the top brain surgeons there afforded Kim entry into the building. She and her impromptu entourage walked through the halls in search of her doctor's office. She just hoped she wouldn't run into the one doctor she didn't want to see right now.
“Oh Kimmie!” her mother's voice called to her.
Of course, Kim thought as she slumped her shoulders.
She tried to appear her usual chipper self as she turned to face her mother, but from the look on the older Possible's face she could tell it wasn't working. Kim braced herself for the inevitable “What's the matter?” question, but was surprised when the question ended up being:
“Kimmie, isn't that…?”
K: “Yes! But she's NOT pregnant!”
S: “And NOT gay!”
Once Kim actually registered the question, she caught her mom's gaze and even without the glance over her shoulder, could tell she was looking at the newest member of her group.
“Yes, it is,” Kim answered. “And I'll explain why later, right now I was hoping to see if Dr. Anderson was still here.”
“Well,” Mrs. Possible replied, placing a finger on her chin thoughtfully, “I think he said something about having to stay late to finish up some paper work.”
“Great! Can you go get him and have him meet us outside the sonogram room?”
K: “Still NOT pregnant! There's NO pregnant people here!”
Mrs. Possible's eye grew wide in surprise just before she gave her daughter a questioning look. Again there was a promise to “explain later”, which the girl would definitely be held to, before Kim, Ron and Shego walked off to find the sonogram room. Mrs. Possible shook her head before she went to find her colleague, hoping that he would be able to get the answers she couldn't at the moment.
Dr. Anderson
K & S: “That's me…!”
sighed as he looked down at his watch. He was already put in three hours worth of overtime and judging by the small mound of papers he still had to fill out he wasn't leaving anytime soon. Paper work was one of the worst parts about being a doctor. Not, the worst part certainly, but it was far up there. Briefly he considered finishing up the paper he was currently working on and finishing the rest in the morning, but somehow that prospect seemed even worse. What he really needed at the moment was a break from it all. Anything would do, just as long as it got him out of his office and away from the evil papers.
His salvation came in the form a gentle knock on his door.
“Come in,” he said, sounding more eager than he meant to.
As he watched the door open, he silently hoped that he hadn't inadvertently agreed to more paper work, but those fears were put to rest when the smiling face of Dr. Possible peeked into the room.
“Rich, do you have a minute?” she asked.
“For you Ann, anything, especially if it gets me away from all this paper work,” he replied, leaning back in his chair and placing his hands behind his head. “So what's up?”
K: “Whazzup!”
S: “Waaazzzahp!”
K: “Wuuuzzuuuup!”
“Well…” Mrs. Possible replied, stepping into the room fully. “It's…honestly I don't really know what it is. Kim just came in and asked if you were available.”
“Anything for one of my favorite patients. So where is she?”
“That's what concerns me. She wants to meet you in the sonogram room.”
At that, he leaned forward in the chair until his elbows touched his desk and he gave her a confused look.
S: “What do I look like, a doctor? Oh, wait, I am…”
“Is there something I should know?” he asked.
K: “It's her prostate.”
“You and me both,” she muttered in reply.
He continued to give her an odd look for a few seconds longer before he titled his he head some and raised his eyebrows in a gesture of acceptance. He then stood up and grabbed his doctor's coat from where it hung on a stand behind him.
“Well then,” he said as he slipped on the coat, “let's go find out together.”
Ann nodded in agreement as he walked around the desk and pushed the door open. Ever the gentleman, he let her exit first, following closely behind her. Their usual small talk was gone as they walked through the hallways, the implications of Kim's request weighing heavily on both of them, but obviously much more on Dr. Possible. It what she suspected was true then it would not only change her daughter's life, but also life for the entire Possible family.
When they arrived at the sonogram room, they found the three had already gone in and made themselves comfortable. The number of people threw Dr. Anderson off at first. He knew that Kim was going to be there of course, and had seen her best friend-turned boyfriend-back to best friend a few times before, but the pale skinned woman in the black and green cat suit had been a complete surprise. Judging by the way she was glaring at him he could tell that she really didn't want to be here and that she really didn't like doctors. Also the fact that she was the one sitting on the medical bed gave him the distinct impression that she was the one in need of a sonogram. Still he wanted to make sure.
“So,” he said cheerfully. “Who here thinks they're having a baby?”
“Oh we don't think we know. And it'd her,” Kim replied pointing to Shego.
K: “The slut.”
S: “That is SO not fair!”
“Thank God,” Mrs. Possible sighed, causing her daughter to give her a confused look. “I thought for a moment you had something foolish.”
“Mom! Give me a little more credit than that!” she screamed, her cheeks turning red.
K: “I'm not the slutty one!”
S: “You are SO asking for it, Possible!”
“I know honey, but you have to admit this is all a little strange. I know you want to help people, but why someone who's tried to kill you before?”
“It's part of that long story I need to explain later.”
S: “Am I invisible? I'm standing right HERE!”
“Which you can deal with on your own time. Right now I have a patient I need to tend to,” Dr. Anderson said as he walked over to Shego.
Being as stubborn as ever, Shego inched away from him, causing the thin sheet of wax paper on the bed to crinkle under her movements.
K: “Ewww!”
Dr. Anderson stopped mid-step and considered her for a second. Her actions seemed to confirm his earlier guess about her not liking doctors. Adjusting quickly the situation, he stayed the relatively short distance between them and stared intently at her stomach. Even this action seemed to make her fee a bit uncomfortable as she took her folded arms from underneath her breasts to cross over them.
S: “Hey… look at the rack on me…”
The more he looked at her though the more agitated she seemed to get as emphasized by the bouncing right leg crossed over her left.
“Get a good enough look yet, Doc?” she snarled.
“Honestly, no,” he replied calmly. “I'm trying to see how far along you are and judging by how little that suit leaves to the imagination I'm guessing, not much. Wanna help me out?”
She stayed silent for a moment. “A month.”
“Good, now we're getting somewhere. So…do you know who the father is?”
Even as he asked the question, his head was subconsciously turning to look at Ron. This caused the other eyes in the room to be directed towards him as well, but he stayed oblivious to it for a few seconds longer. When he finally did hit as to why they're look at him he let out a slight panicked yelp and threw his hands up defensively.
“No! Noooo! No, no, no, no!” he said, backing away from them.
“Please, don't insult me!” Shego retorted.
S: “After all, once you go Shego, you…”
K: “… go Kigo?”
“Alright, so if it's not him then who is it?” Dr. Anderson asked again.
“Yeah…see that's kind of the complicated part,” Kim spoke up.
“It's Kim,” Shego said offhandedly, jerking her thumb towards the redhead.
S: “So who's the slut, now?”
K: “… sorry…”
Silence encompassed the room. The confusion and uneasiness surrounding the group seemed to drown out the noise from the rest of the hospital and place the sonogram room in its own private bubble. Kim's cheeks flared red once more and she fidgeted around nervously as she could feel her mother's shocked and questioning gaze burn right through her. She turned around slowly and tried to look as innocent as she could but she knew it wasn't working. The stern look on her mother's face demanded an answer right now and she just wasn't sure she could come up with one.
Fortunately she was saved when the scratchy, rumbling sound of plastic wheels being moved across a title floor filled the room. Everyone watched as Dr. Anderson
K: “… played with his collection of `Matchbox’ cars.”
pulled the small chair up to the bed near where Shego was perched then sat hunched over with his elbows on the arm rests and his fingers tented in front of him, giving her an expecting look.
“Go on,” he prodded.
The pale woman squirmed a bit before she looked over to Kim for help. The plan backfired, however, when the red head sent her the exact same look while she discretely gestured to her mom with her head. Shego let out a hefty sigh before she looked at the doctor and again recounted the tale of Drakken's “greatest scheme ever” and how she wound up in her current state. Dr. Anderson took a moment to digest the information then leaned back in the chair and rested his head on his left hand, his index finger prodding his lips in thought.
“Well,” he spoke up after a moment. “It's definitely a unique situation, I'll give you that.”
“And so much fun too!” Shego replied sardonically. “But can we just get on with this whole thing so I can go?”
“Shego!” Kim admonished.
“What!”
“No she's right,” Dr. Anderson said, standing up. “After hearing that I really want to get this show on the road. So then,” he looked Shego up and down again. “How does the suit come off?”
“Usually a guy has to buy me a couple drinks first,” she remarked.
S: “Hey, I might be a slut, but I'm not a cheap slut!”
K: “Would some musical accompaniment help?”
“Well you're going to have to expose your stomach so I can do this right and since that thing looks pretty one piece…”
Again Shego sighed. “It zips down the front. But…uh…”
“Yes?”
“Like you said it doesn't leave much to imagination and so…” she looked over at the other people in the room, specifically Kim, “doesn't really leave room for anything underneath.”
“Ah. Alright, looks like we're going have to clear the room.”
K: “Bullshit! I paid my five bucks and I'll getting a look!”
S: (choke)
“Never took you for much of the modest type Shego,” Kim said.
“There's a lot about me you don't know Princess,” Shego countered.
“So I'm learning.”
“This is fun and all, but I need to be alone with my patient, so if you please…” Dr. Anderson said, making “shooing” motions with his hands.
The sound of squeaking shoes then filled the room as they slowly filed out. Kim cast one last glance at Shego before she closed the door behind her. It was only after hearing that securing “click”, that the raven haired woman undid her belt and set it aside before unbuttoning the collar to her suit then slowly sliding down the well hidden zipper. She laid down on the small, rather uncomfortable bed before she pulled the two halves of her costume back, sliding the tight material enough to expose her stomach and offer only a tantalizing view of the rest of her body.
K: (whistling loudly) “Take it off! Take it all off!”
S: “You are embarrassing the shit out of me right now!”
“Sorry Doc, but this is all you're getting,” she said.
“All I need really,” Dr. Anderson replied sonogram gel on her exposed stomach.
Shego gave a slight shudder when the cold, slimly gel first touched her skin, but quickly recovered and forced herself to calm down. At least she tried to stay calm, but seeing a doctor approach her with a strange looking device, caused a few bad memories to resurface and her body to tense when he place it on her stomach. She closed her eyes and repeated to herself mentally that that was all he was going to do and that it would all be over soon enough. She just had to be strong. Luckily being strong was one of the things she did best.
“Huh. Just as I thought,” the doctor's voice caught her ear.
“What? What's like you thought?” she asked, opening her eyes and lifting her head.
“It's a baby,” he replied, matter-of-factly.
Shego groaned and laid her head back down.
Great, a doctor who think's he funny, she thought.
S: “Oh look at that… it's got a third eye!”
K: “Sick and wrong.”
“Anyway,” he spoke up again, “From what I can see here everything looks normal enough, but this early on it's kind of hard to tell. Plus given the fact of just how this baby was conceived and your albinism…well we're definitely going to have to run some tests later on.”
S: “But I'm really the janitor! Can I call you sometime?”
“Oh boy, just what I love; tests,” she muttered. She then noticed the other thing he said. “Wait, what was that about my skin?”
“Well, albinism is a genetic trait that can be passed on. Of course since the…well let's say `father’ has normal skin pigmentation there's a 50/50 change the baby will have it.”
K: “Hey, that's almost half of the time!”
S: “Did Stoppable's `drag factor’ suck all of the brains out of your head, Pumpkin?”
“Ah. And what if the albinism isn't really…normal?”
“Well albinism itself isn't normal, but what are you talking about?”
She let out a small irritable groan at the fact that she was going to have to reveal yet another facet of her life with this complete stranger. She relented though and told him about the multi-colored meteor that crash through the tree house she and her brothers use to play in and gave them all a unique power. Power the used to help the citizens of Go City as the superhero group Team Go. She ended her tale with her departure from the team, leaving her activities from then on a little ambiguous though from her explanation of how she became pregnant; she assumed he could take a guess at them. Whether he did or not, she couldn't tell because he kept the same neutral expression on his face throughout her story. If it did change it seemed more out of concern for her than shock or suspicion.
“So what kind of power did you get?” he asked.
K & S: “I GOT THE POWER!”
In response, she held up her left hand and ignited her green plasma energy around it.
“Ah, well that is interesting. I take it you can control it then,” he ventured.
“Yeah,” Shego said, extinguishing the flame to emphasize the point. “OK Doc, I gotta admit it's creeping me out a little how well you're taking all this.”
“I've seen a lot of weird things in my time. Partly the reason for this,” he explained as he ran a hand through his short, prematurely grey hair.
K: “It's also why I drink… hic…”
“But this isn't about my problems, it's about yours.”
“Aside from the obvious, what else is a problem?” she asked with a dangerous edge to her voice.
“Well I really don't know what kind of effect these powers of yours are going to have on the baby. I'm definitely going to need a sample of your blood now as well as close examination of the baby later on. Say about…two months. That might give me a better idea of what we're dealing with here.”
“And what if I decide not to go through with this?”
“Well three things will happen. One, a problem with your baby that we could easily fixed would go unchecked; Two, Kim would most likely bring you back here kicking and screaming anyway; and Three, I could call the police right now and tell them I have the person who stole a patient's files right here.”
Shego gasped in surprise of the obvious threat. She really couldn't tell what she was more surprised at though; the fact that he knew who she was this whole time or the threat itself. While the police chasing her was nothing new, running from them while pregnant was. Not mention the fact that Kim was waiting right outside the door and would no doubt chase her down the second she thought something was wrong. Even if she did manage to escape it would put her right back where started; confused, alone and with a baby on the way. So trying to run would just be stupid. She may be many things, but she was not stupid.
“How do Thursdays work for you?” she asked in a snide, yet sheepish tone.
S: “Nope, Thursday's no good. There's an `Evil Workshop’ that day.”
“Just fine. So I'll see you this coming Thursday for the primary blood work and then two months later for another look at the baby,” Dr. Anderson replied, nodding in satisfaction.
With the situation resolved, he handed her a towel to clean off the sonogram gel, which she did vigorously. She cleaned up as much of the sticky gel as she could then dropped the towel on the floor and zipped up her cat suit. She shuddered at the feeling of the remnants being pressed against her suit and her skin, but ignored it and fastened the top button followed quickly by the belt. She hopped off the table, stepped briskly over to the door and after flinging it open nearly trampled Kim and Ron as she marched into the hallway.
“I'm done, let's go,” she said curtly.
“But what-” Kim tried to ask only to be cut off.
“I said let's go.”
Kim gave her a confused look but shrugged it off and turned towards her mother.
“I guess I'll be going now. Do you need a ride home?” she asked the older Possible.
“No I'm fine. Your father said he'd come pick me after work,” her mother replied.
“Alright,” Kim agreed before she gave her a small hug. “Could you…you know try to get him softened up for this? I mean, don't just tell him cause I think I should do that but…get him ready I guess.”
“I'll see what I can do Kimmie, but I'm not sure about all this myself.”
“Neither am I.”
Kim gave her mother another quick hug before turning and leaving with her group, Shego actually seeming to lead the charge. Ann Possible watched her daughter disappear into the sea of people still in the hospital and let out a large sigh. She really wasn't sure how to explain the situation to her husband or even what was going to happen from here on end. She knew that Kim would attack it head on like she did with everything, but she didn't think her daughter was ready to be a mother just yet. For that matter she wasn't ready to be a grandmother just yet.
“Never a dull moment for you family, is there?” Dr. Anderson mused, breaking her thoughts.
“They are few and far between,” she said distantly.
S: “Much like Stoppable's cajones.
Kim's hands tightened around the wheel as she turned the corner into her neighborhood. As she drew closer to her destination she began to rethink her plan, such as it was. The feeling only intensified when she looked at the person in the seat next to her. After she had dropped off Ron, Shego insisted that she sit in front so she could more easily talk to the world saving cheerleader about what they're going to do about their upcoming child. At least that's what she assumed Shego was up do, but she hadn't said a word since she repositioned herself. This left Kim to carry out the only thing she could think; take Shego home with her. An idea she was begging to regret. Unfortunately it was much to late to think of anything else because before she knew it she was pulling into the driveway of family's home. She turned off the engine absent mindedly and simply stared into space for a moment.
“Well, here we are,” she finally said, still sounding a bit distant.
“And where's here?” Shego asked, looking up at the decently sized home.
K: “Meanwhile, at stately Wayne Manor…”
“My house.”
S: “Iss my houss… don’ bring you Bigfoot in my houss, Gus! Wif my chidrens…!”
“You're house? This is your house!” the pale woman cried out, leaning forward to look at the house again.
“Yeah…what about it?” Kim asked, suddenly feeling self conscious.
“I dunno, I guess I was expecting something more…Brady Bunch. You know, small, ranch style thing. This is actually pretty big.”
“Well mom's a brain surgeon and dad's a rocket scientist so we have a pretty good income.”
“I bet.”
S: “He doesn't make as much money as a plumber, I'll bet.”
“It's not like I'm spoiled or anything.”
K: “Dahling…!”
“Didn't say you were.”
Kim let out a low, irritated growl before finally unbuckling her seat belt and practically throwing the door open.
“Come on, let's go,” she barked.
“Go? Go where?” Shego asked, stepping out as well.
“Inside of course.”
Shego was about to offer protest when Kim suddenly moved around the car and grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her towards the house. She was about to ignite her free right hand and strike, but remembering what the doctor told her she stopped herself and merely thought about punching the annoying red head. That idea was halted as well and instead she simply snatched her arm away from the girl. When Kim gave her a questioning look she gave her an irritated glare in return. Kim sighed before she made a polite motion for the older woman to follow her, which surprisingly she did.
When they entered the house, Shego was taken aback when Kim crouched down and began searching the house as she would for traps in one of Drakken's bases.
S: “… sniffing around like a dog, running through the house on all fours.”
K: “Walkies?”
In fact, everything about her body language from her couched position, her shifting eyes, and tense muscles, seemed to suggest that she was expecting trouble. This caused Shego to tense up as well and subconsciously stick close to the younger woman as she bolted from the front door up a set of stairs. She acted more on instinct than anything else and followed Kim's gaze up and down the small hallway looking for any signs of trouble. Though exactly what kind of trouble she didn't know. She just knew that when the all clear signal was given she followed the girl up another flight of stairs, this one leading into a modestly sized, very pink room. It was this sight that caused her to snap out of her sneaking mode and return to her pervious stated of confusion and irritation.
S: “'Pervious’? So I'm a perv, now?”
K: “Look at how pink that room is! I think the movie's `KP’ is the perv.”
“Good, I don't think they saw us,” Kim whispered as she cast a glance down the stairs.
“Who!” Shego demanded, placing her hands on her hips.
“My geeky little brothers,” she explained, calming down a bit. “The last thing I need right now is them seeing you and telling my dad you're here before I do.”
“Uh huh. And why exactly am I here?”
“Because it's part of my plan.”
K: “BWAH HAH HAH!”
“And that plan is…?”
“To beg my parents if you can stay…here,” Kim explained sheepishly.
“Stay here!” Shego replied, looking around the room.
“Well not `here’ here. This is my room. I just meant in the house. At least as long as the pregnancy lasts.”
K: “Maybe even a whole week!”
“Yeah, don't think that's such a good idea.”
“And why not?”
“Me and the whole family thing? Yeah, never really worked out for me. I mean, you've met my brothers.”
S: “Loopiest bunch of knuckle heads this side of the Mississippi River.”
“This will be different. My brothers aren't…quite as annoying as yours and my parents are pretty good at adjusting to weird things. Plus it will help us both out. You'll have a place to stay while going through the pregnancy and I'll be able to help out as much as I can. Come on? Please?”
Once again any protest Shego could muster was interrupted by Kim's actions. This time, however, instead of grabbing her or speaking over her, the girl's lower lip began to quiver while her eyes seemed to grow larger and saucer shaped. Her hands clasped together at her side as she continued to stare at the former evil sidekick, her large eyes giving off a sad and pleading look.
K: “Pweeeze!”
S: “…losing will to live…”
“W-what is that?” Shego asked, caught completely off guard. “Stop that. Whatever that is it's not going to work. So just…stop.”
“What isn't going to work?” Kim asked in a sappy, sweet tone.
“That…look, whatever you call it. Won't work. So stop it. Right now. I'm serious.”
But the look didn't stop. If anything it actually seemed to grow in intensity, causing the raven haired woman to squirm about uncomfortably. She closed her eyes and looked away but she could still feel it, boring right into her very soul. She braved cracking open an eye after a few seconds only to find “the look” still directly on her. With a cry of frustration she finally gave in.
S: “Aaaarrgh!”
K: “What in the Hell was that?”
S: “Uh, my cry of frustration?”
“Fine! I'll stay! Just stop doing that!” she cried out.
Instantly, Kim's expression changed from pleading to victorious. Shego answered with one of annoyance as she placed her hands on her hips.
K: “Mmmm… curvy hips…”
S: “Wow, you are getting yourself all worked up, aren't you?”
“Alright, what was that?” she asked.
“What?” Kim asked back.
“That look. What was that?”
“Oh, that's just my Puppy Dog Pout.
S: “Is having a `Puppy Dog Pout’ the same thing as doing it doggy sty…”
K: “Don't you DARE finish that question!”
I use it when I really need to…uh…persuade people.”
Shego blinked. “Wow. You're a lot more devious than I gave you credit for Princess.”
“Don't turn it into something bad. It's just…helpful.”
“Riiight.”
“Just drop it, alright?” Kim asked with a sigh.
K: “I meant your pants. Drop `em boy!”
S: “Squeeeee!”
“And stay up here while I go downstairs and wait for my dad. I need to prepare him before I actually have you meet him. Though…I have no idea what I'm going to say.”
“I would just explain what happened. And when I say `I’, I mean you. I've explained it enough for one night thank you.”
“Fine, I guess that's fair. Just try to be quiet until I come get you, OK?” she requested.
After getting a confirming nod from Shego, started to walk back downstairs, only to stop when a particularly nasty thought occurred to her. She did a half turn
K: “… onto my head? This makes no sense…”
so she could glare back up at the older woman.
“And don't go through any of my stuff!” she demanded.
K: “And keep away from my stash!”
“Yeah like I have nothing better to do than go through your frilly crap,” Shego retorted.
K: “Oh, momma, you can touch all of my frilly crap that you want! Booyah!”
Kim narrowed her eyes in suspicion, but didn't press the issue any further and continued on her way. Shego watched her out of the corner of her eye as she slowly faded from view. She craned her neck to peak past the stairs and when she could find no sign of the red head, a devious smile spread across her face. She had promised not to go through Kim's frilly stuff but that didn't mean the rest wasn't fair game. A quick glance around the room told her the first place to start looking was the computer at the far end.
Smart little girl like Kimmie must have some kind of virtual dairy
K: “'Virtual dairy’?”
S: “You've got emilk!”
I can scan through, she thought as she made her way over to the desk. She stopped when she was about half way there. Of course she probably had that computer nerd of hers put in a ton of firewalls and security codes. Not that I couldn't crack `em, it just seems like too much work right now. And I suppose I should be somewhat nice to her since she's helping me. So no going through locked stuff. Doesn't mean I still can't look at what's laying out.
Her new goal in mind, Shego pulled the computer chair over to another part of the desk which held on it a black, spinning CD tower. She sat down in the chair and began leafing through the titles, a task she soon came to regret.
“Oh Boyz, Britina, Sideally Guyz, LMNT?”
S: “Abba, Mantovani, Ravi Shankar…”
She muttered, her face twisted in disgust. “I thought she'd have better taste than that.” She turned the tower to another side and found a pleasant surprise. “MC Honey, well that's a good at least. Still, no way I'm letting my baby listen to the rest of this crap.”
As Kim descended the second set of stairs in the Possible household, she racked her brain for something she could tell her father about her current sitch. It wasn't so much what to tell him as it was how to tell him. He had always been a little over protective when it came to her and dating so she was afraid telling him she was about to have a baby might drive him over the edge. Of course the fact that she was the “father” might help soften the blow but still…it was going to be hard for even her family adjust to.
Right as her right foot touched the carpeted floor, the two people in the world she least wanted to see right now appeared in front of her; her annoying, younger, twin brothers Jim and Tim. By the matching devilish grins
K: “Ghaa! Satan worship!”
on their faces she could already tell they were up to no good. Something she was definitely not in the mood for right now.
“So Kim…” Jim started up, sounding much too sweet.
“What!” she snapped.
“We heard you sneaking someone into the house,” Tim finished.
“Was it Ron?” Jim asked.
“Are you two making up?”
“More like making out!”
With that, they both began making exaggerated kisses noises. Kim growled as she balled her hands into fists and let all of the night's confusion and frustration out in one loud roar as she dove towards her brothers. Years of annoying their sister prepared them for such a reaction and split second before she pounced, they were already running into the living room. She quickly recovered and chased after them faster than they, or even herself, had anticipated and she caught them right before they left the room. She hauled them up by the back of their shirts until they were eye level with her.
“Listen carefully Tweebs,” she soft in a soft growl. “You two are going to forget you heard anything and you are definitely not going to tell mom and dad. Especially dad. Got it?”
Having never seen their sister this mad at one of their pranks caused them to go silent in shock and they slowly nodded in agreement.
“Good,” she said and dropped them both.
Once they recovered from the sudden fall they looked up at her once more before running out of the room in fear of their lives. Kim waited until they were out of her views before she let out a large sigh and fell down onto the couch. She leaned forward to rest her elbows on her knees as she rest her head in her hands, rubbing her temples to try and calm herself. It did little good to fend off the headache she felt coming on, but at least it was doing something and that's all she wanted right now.
The peace was short lived, however, when the sound of front door being opened caught her attention. She turned to prop her right arm on the back of the couch to watch her parents enter the house. Any greeting she had to offer was cut off by her father's angered rambling.
“…the nerve to tell me what I should be doing and that my rockets are inadequate for his needs,” Dr. Possible muttered as he stepped into the living room.
S: “Did your Dad just admit that his `rocket’ was `inadequate’?”
K: “Gross! Cut that out!”
S: “Wait, didn't your Dad also say, `for HIS needs’? As in some other guy?”
K: “…”
“Hi dad. Rough day?” Kim offered.
“Very,” he sighed as he fell down into his usual chair. “There's a new head scientist in the A.I. department and he's just so…”
S: “Hey, Kimmie, how do you tell who the `head scientist’ is in the AI Department?”
K: “Huh? I don't know.”
S: “He's the one with the dirty knees.”
K: “No one's going to get that.”
The sentence devolved into a series of growls and angered choking noises.
K: “Just like an interview with Charles Manson.”
Kim looked to her mother to see if she could provide any answers, but the look her mother gave her told her she had already heard the story too much. Knowing that she couldn't break her news to her father like this, she drudged on in hopes of calming him down.
“What happened to Dr. Freeman?” she ventured.
K: “Dr. Morgan Freeman?”
S: “Oh, he got a job at the electric company.”
“When went to a private company when they offered him more money,” Dr. Possible explained.
“That's odd; he didn't seem like the kind that would chase money.”
K: “Women, though, well that's another story…”
“Normally, no, but this company was willing to put up with his…eccentricities.”
“Ah,” Kim nodded in understanding. “So this new guy's not working out then?”
“Well yes and no. Dr. McCoy's actually a genius in his field.
S: “Damn it, Jim… I'm a Doctor, not a miracle worker!”
The problem is he knows it and wants everyone else to know it as well. Even poor Vivian, who's suppose to be his partner on the project.”
“Oh, that's can't be good.”
S: “With your `inadequate rocket’, and all.”
K: “Ewww! That's my Dad! Stop it!”
“Not at all. She's already defensive about people not taking her seriously because of her looks and now she had to deal with some who cuts down her actual scientific work.” He sighed again and shook his head. “It's just frustrating for all of us.”
Kim nodded silently as she leaned back against the couch. Her father seemed a little more clam now, but she still wasn't quite sure it was time to break the big news. At the very least she had to think of a very delicate way to tell him so as not to set him off again.
“So, you're mother said you had something to tell me,” he said, throwing her completely off guard.
“Uh…yeah. Well…you see…the thing is…” she stammered.
S: (as Kim) “I'm gay! A real flamer!”
K: “Hey!”
S: (as Kim) “I wear flannel chaps to school under my slacks!”
K: “…”
S: “No way!”
“Mom! Dad!” Jim and Tim shouted as they ran into the room through the kitchen. “Kim snuck someone up into her room!”
That was definitely not a delicate way to break the news. Kim glared at her brothers in pure, unfiltered rage and wanted nothing more than to jump over the couch and make them pay for their little outburst. Any thought of revenge was halted, however, when her dad's own intense stare cut through the fog of anger. It forced her not only to come to her senses but also shrink back into the couch in uncertainty.
“Kimmie is this true?” he asked in a measured voice.
“Well…yes, but it's not what you think!” she defended herself.
“And what is it I think?”
S: (as Kim) “That Shego and I routinely make `the monster with two backs’?”
K: Ghaa!”
“James,” Mrs. Dr. Possible spoke up, placing a calming hand on her husband's shoulder. “I think this has something to do with what she wanted to tell us.”
“You knew about this!” he cried indignantly.
“I know…some of it. Kim, why don't you go upstairs and bring down your…friend,” she suggested, looking at her daughter.
S: “Hey, Kim's `friend has come to visit’. Get it?”
K: “You are so gross!”
Kim silently thanked her mother and then bolted up the stairs. She slowed her pace when she came to the stairs that led to her room, not quite sure what to expect from Shego. Thinking about it now, it seemed like a huge mistake the leave the woman who was as much of her arch rival as Drakken was alone in her bedroom, but she didn't have much of a choice.
“Shego?” she called, stepping more fully into the room.
“Over here,” the other woman replied.
Kim looked in the direction the voice had come from and found Shego crouched down in front of a small display case that held some of her most cherished positions.
S: “I can hide just like the tiniest mouse! Squeak!”
“You collect Cuddle Buddies?” Shego asked in disbelief as she quirked an eyebrow.
K: “And sexy villains!”
“Yeah, what's so wrong with that?” Kim asked back, folding her arms over her chest.
“Nothing at all. Five years ago. And what's with the music?” she pointed behind her to the tower.
“What's wrong my music?”
“The Lion King soundtrack?”
“I like it!” Kim shot back. “And it's not like any of this is really important right now.”
S: “And what's the deal with all of the porn lying around? I swear this place is like a truck stop!”
“Maybe not,” Shego agreed as she stood up. “But I just love to annoy you.”
“You're doing a great job of it,” she muttered as she turned back to the stairs. “Now come on, I'm going to try and explain all this to my dad.”
“Oh boy, meeting the parents.”
Kim shot her another annoyed look to which Shego merely held up her hands to indicate she would stop. Satisfied, the younger woman led her down the two flights of stairs and into the
K: “… basement?”
Possible living room where her bewildered father waited. He watched carefully as they stepped in front of his chair and stood there before him as they were peasants asking a medieval lord for some favor.
S: “Please, sir, may I have some more?”
At least that was the impression Kim gave off with how jittery she was Shego on the other hand seemed rather disinterested in the whole thing as she stood with her hands on her hips and looking off the side. Dr. Possible didn't speak for a few seconds longer as he tried to place where he had seen this unusual woman before.
“Kim isn't that…” he asked, perfectly mimicking his wife's tone earlier in the evening.
“Yes, this is Dr. Drakken's former sidekick,” Kim explained, gesturing towards the woman.
“Former assistant,” Shego corrected.
“Right. Anyway, she's here because she's pregnant. With my child.”
K: “But we're NOT gay!”
Much like his words echoed his wife's statement earlier so too did his actions as his eyes widened and a look of complete shock overcame Dr. Possible. He looked back and fourth between his daughter, his teenage daughter, and the older woman at her side. Even his usually brilliant mind, which had no trouble plotting launch vectors and mixing complex chemicals, couldn't process this simple bit of information. It just seemed…impossible, a word he rarely ever used.
“H-how…” he managed to spit out.
S: “Nuh, uh… what happens with Kigo…”
K: “… stays with Kigo!”
“Drakken devised a retrovirus from her DNA that was suppose to infect me and make me pregnant but after a slight mishap, and a cut to my arm, Shego ended up the one with the baby instead,” Kim explained as succinctly as possible.
K: “That has got to be the dumbest idea that I've ever…”
S: “Ix-nay, Kimmie. Just wait until you read the one written by this guy `NoDrogs'…”
“And this isn't some kind of joke?”
S: “Do I amuse you? Do I make you laugh?”
“Pfft! Only on me maybe,” Shego scoffed.
Kim tried to ignore her. “No it isn't a joke, it's actually happening.”
“It is,” Mrs. Dr. Possible added. “I was there tonight in the hospital when they went to see Rich and he confirmed it.”
“Alright,” Dr. Possible said, slowly taking it all in. “So…what exactly are you going to do now?”
K: “I'm going to Disneyland!”
S: “Kimmie, I love you, but you're such a kiss-up.”
“Well…I was kinda hoping that maybe, possible, Shego could stay here,” Kim suggested. “At least until the baby is born.”
“Yeah, then I'm out of here. And I want to point out that this wasn't my idea to begin with,” Shego said.
The two older Possibles looked at each other in concern.
“I…don't know,” Dr. Possible stated.
“Come on. Please?” Kim pleaded, her lower lip started to quiver.
“Don't try that Puppy Dog Pout with me young lady!” he said sternly.
S: “Don't try that `Monkey Poop Throw’ with me, either!”
K: “Yeah, but they're both powerless against my `Moss-covered Sloth Spit Drool'!”
S: “Next on `Wild Kingdom'… weird shit that animals do!”
“This is a very big decision. Are you sure you're going to be able to handle it?”
“Of course. I can do anything, remember?”
“That's what you say, but having a child is a big responsibility,” Mrs. Possible spoke up.
“Might I remind everyone that I'm the one actually having the baby?” Shego asked rhetorically. “Which means I'm the one that's going to have to put up with all the weird cravings, and mood swings, and of course the labor pains which sound oh so fun!”
“Wait until you actually experience them,” Mrs. Possible muttered.
K: “And the late night sex with lots of ice cream afterwards!”
S: “… ok, that's a little freaky but I'm game!”
“I think what your mother is trying to say,” Dr. Possible spoke again, drawing their attention, “is that you need to be ready for what raising a child is going to be like. Both of you.”
K: “We will love it and feed it and call it George…”
At that thought, they both began to squirm uncomfortably. Shego shifted her weight from one foot to the other as she twiddled her thumbs behind her back. Kim kept her gaze moving throughout the room, looking at the ceiling, the floor, the furniture and anything else that prevented her from looking at her parents. She couldn't look at them now, because she knew they were right. She had spent the last few hours convincing Shego to let her help her with the baby and never took a moment to think of just how she would help. Or even if she could. She just knew that she had to help, somehow.
“You're right,” she said softly after a moment. “We really haven't thought of what it's going to be like to raise this child.”
“When did I ever say that?” Shego asked defensively.
“Well have you?”
She made a small scoffing sound but said nothing else.
S: “Pfhagh!”
K: “What was that supposed to be?”
S: “Uh, my scoffing sound?”
“That's what I thought,” Kim remarked then looked back to her parents. “So what better way to learn then to in a house with a wise, loyal, and caring family?”
K: “…like the Stoppable's, `cause you're a bunch of FREAKS!”
The Possible parents looked towards each other again. They knew there daughter was laying it on a little thick,
S: (as Mr.Dr.P) “Kimmie-cub, cut the bullshit.”
but they also knew she was right.
“Well alright, but don't let this distract too much from your school work,” Dr. Possible told Kim then looked towards Shego. “And you, as long as you'll be living under my roof, you'll be following my rules. First and foremost, no fighting.”
“Like I'll be in any condition to fight here in a few months,” Shego muttered.
“Come on, I'll show you to the guest room,” Mrs. Possible spoke up, walking over to the pale woman.
Surprisingly, Shego offered little resistance as the elder female Possible led her through the house. As she imagined, their house was decorated with multiple family pictures depicting the kids through various stages in their lives, rather plain looking furniture and a surprisingly dull kind of blue/grey wallpaper. She half expected the walls to be some kind insanely bright color like sunshine yellow or something similar. Overall it wasn't a bad house, but it had a sense of family comfort that made her feel uneasy. Maybe because it was such a big contrast to her own dysfunctional family. If she was really going to stay here though she needed to get use to the idea, though part of her still felt queasy about the whole “family bonding” thing.
She focused on the here and now when Mrs. Possible suddenly stopped in front of a doorway near the end of the hall. She pulled it open and flicked on the light then allowed Shego to step in first. When she did so, she wasn't too surprised with what she saw. The room was a medium size and was decked out in the same color wallpaper as the rest of the house. There was a full sized bed in the middle of the room with a whicker basket at the foot which she guessed would be used for knickknacks or something. A dark oak dresser stood against the wall on the right side of the bed while on the left was a small bed stand with a single lamp on it. A few short feet across from the stand was the double door closet which for the moment she had no real use for. The only window in the room was tucked away in a small nook which also held a computer desk and rolling chair. Overall, it was a nice room but nothing really extraordinary, just average.
“I hope you like it,” Mrs. Possible spoke up.
K: “Welcome to HELL! Bwah hah hah!”
“It'll do. Have to get some stuff to put in there though,” Shego remarked then let out a surprise yawn. “But that can wait til later. Right now I need some sleep. It's been a looong day.”
“For all of us,” the other woman agreed. “And you probably should get some sleep with your condition.”
“My condition. You make it sound like I have a disease.”
K: (as Karl Childers) “Hnn… some folks calls it a disease… I calls it a condition… hnn.”
“If you start to think of it like that, you might start to regret your decision. True it's going to be hard for awhile, but trust me when I say it's worth it in the end.”
S: (as Mrs.Dr.P) “I'm speaking metaphorically, of course. I've hated every second of parenthood. You'll want to start a strict regiment of drinking right after you come home from the hospital.”
She added a soft smile with the statement that Shego couldn't help but return. After Mrs. Possible excused herself, Shego closed the door and walked over to turn the bed lamp on. She then walked back to turn the main light off, leaving her belt on the whicker basket as she did so. When she made her way back to the bed she pulled back the red wine colored sheets and sat down on the white comforter. She pulled off her gloves and set them on the table before slipping off her boots and leaving them dumped on the floor. She quickly unzipped her suit past her breasts to make it more comfortable then laid down on the bed and stared at the ceiling with her arms folded behind her head.
K: “… oh, wow…”
As she stared up at the unfamiliar ceiling, she replayed the day's events in her head. She had gone from being the assistant to a mad scientist bent on taking over the world to
S: “… just being bent. Hey, wait, I think I just riffed on myself…”
the pet project of her former arch rival and her family. Well…maybe pet project wasn't the right word but they were treating her like she was made of glass and it just didn't sit right with her. Just because she was pregnant didn't mean she was an invalid. She could still be helpful…somehow.
She sighed and placed a hand over her stomach. The Possibles were right about one thing, she did need to start thinking about how to raise this child. Kim seemed to be more than willing to help, but obviously she didn't have more of a clue of what to do than she did. She was determined to make it work though, she wasn't sure how but she would find a way.
But that was for later. Now the only thing she wanted to do was sleep. She reached over, clicked off the light then pulled the blanket over her and laid her head down further into the soft, down pillow. She closed her eyes and as she quickly fell into a peaceful slumber her last thought was of what tomorrow would bring.
To Be Continued…
Author's Note: Umm… it gets funnier…?