“What is it Wade?”
“One really weird hit on the site. It claims to be from Shego wanting to set up a trap.”
“She says she wants to set up a trap?”
“Nah, I'm interpreting. Why else would Shego contact you?”
“I've helped her with family.” “She saved my life when we fought Warmonga. We went shopping together while she was staying at my place, and we like the same movies. We laugh at the same jokes…”
Wade interrupted Kim's thoughts, “And she's calling now to say thanks?”
“Okay, she wants to set a trap.”
“But there are a couple weird things about the note.”
“What's weird?” Kim asked.
“Well, she wants to meet you at a coffee house, someplace called ‘Columbia to Kenya’ over by the university campus. In the note she calls it a ‘bow zone’. What is a ‘bow zone’?”
“About two months ago, before we started a fight, Shego stopped and gave me a bow. I didn't even think, it's an automatic response you learn in training. I stopped and returned her bow.”
“And she dropped a box on you while you were doing it?”
“No, she didn't. I looked up, she winked, and we started fighting. And it wasn't just that once. She's done it ever since then, almost demanded it before we can fight. Last time we fought I think I bowed first… Wade, I bowed first, I gave her a sign of respect.”
“Not one of the smarter things you've done Kim.”
“Well she started it. Okay, what else was weird?”
“Shego said ‘please.’ It says, ‘Please come alone.’ No threat to hurt anyone, no demands, just ‘please.’ We need to call Ron on this.”
“And I think Shego takes her training seriously and has promised me a neutral site to meet. I'm curious what she wants. What was the name of the coffee house again, and the time?”
Forty minutes later Kim scanned the street. Not the best part of town, not the worst. Any property this close to campus was too valuable to be a slum, but this was not the Benetton side of the university. The neighborhood sported bars which served beer to U students on the strength of a college ID rather than checking age. No sign read, “Columbia to Kenya,” but she assumed that was what C2K on the building opposite her meant. Kim tensed. Ron would have told her, “This is so wrong.” and she would have agreed with him. “Shego was a hero,” Kim repeated to herself. “I've helped her. She says she respects me. I respect her.”
But neither had Kim lost her mind. Columbia to Kenya was in one of several older buildings constructed side-by-side. She circled the block of buildings once, and walked past the windows of C2K several times, staring in. It might have been a drug store when it was built. The front of the old store had been refurbished and several people sat at tables with their cups -- but no Shego. Kim couldn't get a good look at the back Shego might be found there. Summoning up her courage Kim opened the door. After the cold outside she was greeted with a blast of warm air and --
“KIM! Back here!”
Kim saw the wave that accompanied the call. As she moved closer it was Shego under the hat, sunglasses and coat. It appeared she wore her green and black catsuit underneath. The back room was bigger than expected, it appeared another wall had been taken out, joining the storage area of one building with the one next door. If the owners planned to fix it up like the front they hadn't started, a jumble of mismatched couches, chairs, tables, and booths were scattered about the cavernous space. Kim slid onto the bench seat opposite Shego in a booth.
Shego's hand shot out, and Kim started into a defense position as best she could in the booth -- only to realize Shego had gestured to a thin young man with spiky black hair and too many piercings. “Two no-fat lattes -- large, and two pistachio biscotti.”
“You could have asked what I wanted.”
“Why, you paying for this?”
“It still would have been nice.”
“Nice? Don't mix the two of us up. You're the nice girl, I'm the evil one -- remember.” Oddly, Shego's voice seemed to lack any of its normal sarcastic tone.
Awkward silence filled the time until the coffee and biscotti arrived.
“So, uh, Shego, why did you call me?”
The pale woman took a sip of her latte before answering, “Before I tell you anything you have to promise to never tell Drakken we had this meeting. Fraternizing with the enemy is frowned on by the Villain's Guild.”
“I promise.”
“Word of honor?”
“I'll give you word of honor if you promise not to tell Ron, or my Mom and Dad.”
Shego clucked her tongue. “Keeping secrets from mommy and daddy? I'm surprised, disappointed, and delighted all at once. There's hope for you, Kimmie. But would you really believe my promise if I gave it?”
“Maybe not, but it's kind of conspiratorial to have someone to share secrets with. Besides, if you do tell them I'll tell Drakken.”
“You'd rat me out?”
“In a second.”
Shego smiled, “There's definitely hope for you, Princess.” She looked like she was about to start talking, then paused, “And, I just want to talk with you, not you and your little friend at the computer terminal.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean turn off your com-link with the genius.”
Kim took out the Kimmunicator. “Don't do it, Kim,” Wade warned her.
“I really think she just wants to talk.”
“Well, at least let me scan the room first, make sure she doesn't have some trap prepared.” Kim held up the device, then slowly turned it so Wade could take readings around the entire coffee shop.
Shego slumped down in the booth while Kim scanned the room, “Do you have to draw attention to us?” she hissed.
“The room looks clean, Kim. But you're still making a mistake.”
“I'll let you know if you're right,” Kim told him as she turned off the Kimmunicator and stored it in her pocket. “Now, Shego, I'm the only one listening.”
“You ever really need someone to talk to? Everyone needs company sometimes. You have people -- your boyfriend Stoppable, friends at school, family… Ever needed someone to talk with and had nobody? God, I was so lonely I gave my best enemy a call just to have an ear.”
“Best enemy?”
“Sure Kimmie, why not?” She lifted her cup, “Here's to best enemies.”
Kim raised her own cup. “No ulterior motives, really?”
After taking a sip of her latte, Shego put the cup down. “Okay, I lied to you Pumpkin, force of habit. I had something I wanted to say to someone. Something happened last summer… It really hurt me… God, it still hurts. There just isn't anyone I…” Shego balked, she was about to admit weakness to an enemy. “Look, I'm sorry. Maybe this wasn't a good idea.”
“Well, if you were hoping to grab my curiosity you managed to do that. What are you talking about?”
“Look, Kim, I don't think you really know much about martial arts--”
“Hey, I know sixteen kinds of--”
“Sixteen kinds of kung fu, yada, yada, yada. No you don't. You may have studied sixteen kinds of kung fu, but you don't know a single one. You aren't a master of anything. Oh, I'll give you credit. You've got your own eclectic style that borrows a little from this and that, and you've got tremendous natural talent. You're effective and maybe that's what is important. But it's not the same--”
“I didn't come here to be insulted!”
“I'm not insulting you. I'm telling you the truth. Do you really…” “Damn this kid can be irritating without even trying.” “Never mind, this was a mistake. Go home, Possible. Enemies have no business talking with each other.”
Kim took a deep breath. “Look, I'm sorry for… I guess I'm not sure if I'm sorry. But I am curious. Please, tell me why you called.”
Shego leaned back in the booth and shut her eyes. She desperately wanted… No, it was stronger than that. She needed to talk with someone about what had happened. There was a wistful note in the pale woman's voice as she began speaking, “The martial arts are important for me. Hego talked my parents into sending me to classes… He was their oldest child. He could always talk them into going along with his hero ideas. I was good. I was damn good. I impressed the hell out of my instructor. He arranged for me to go to…
“There are several elite training schools in Japan.”
“I know one of them.”
“I won't ask its name, and won't tell you the one I went to. In a few years I was the fifth youngest person to ever master a style there. Fifth youngest! And some of ‘em started coming there in diapers. I'm not talking about your grab a little piece of this or a piece of that, I'm talking recognized as a master. I think you know enough to know that that means.”
“Yeah, I think I do,” Kim sounded a little puzzled about where this was going.
“Well, I've kept training there whenever I can. Last summer they recognized me for reaching master level in a second style. Two master levels. I was the second youngest person there, at least since they started keeping age records, to have mastered two styles.”
“I am impressed.”
Shego looked genuinely happy to hear that, “Thanks. I don't hang around with a lot of people who have any clue what that means, the amount of work and dedication it takes… That's not the end of the story, can I bore you with the rest?”
“You aren't boring me so far.”
Shego sighed. “There are three buildings where people sleep there. Two are used by students and some of the people who work there. Then there is the master's hall. It never really bothered me that I hadn't been asked to stay in the master's hall before. I was so much younger than most of them I didn't mind staying with the students. And I'm there so seldom it didn't really matter. But I wanted that recognition last summer. When the teachers told me I'd made it I was walking on air. I went back to my room and rolled up my mat and gathered everything I had for the invitation to stay in the master's hall…”
Kim waited, but the older woman remained silent. “What happened?”
There was a sad tone in Shego's voice. “No invitation came. There were a couple of the instructors I was closer to. I went to one to find out what happened. He said I would not be asked. Something about not liking the way I lived my life.”
“Well,” Kim began.
“It's not about how I chose to live my fucking life! It's about my skills. I'm a master. That is what it's supposed to be about. I wanted to teach there someday and they slapped me in the face!”
“Wait, you wanted to teach?”
“Sure, why not?”
“Well, you weren't a great teacher here.”
“With the fake credentials so I could hide from my brothers?”
“Your credentials were fake?”
“You don't really think I have a degree in child development or that I'm certified in this state, do you?”
“But you were supposed to be good!”
Shego laughed, “The attitudinator can swing your ‘good’ and ‘evil’ back and forth a bit, but it doesn't change you completely. Self-preservation is a virtue, Kimmie, and so is protecting your identity if you're a hero. I became mild-mannered teacher. Fake name and forged certification to protect my secret identity? All part of a day's work for a hero.”
“Back to your story… Aren't you supposed to be helping Drakken take over the world? Do you need a retirement plan to fall back on?”
She raised one eyebrow, “I don't think the Doc is ever going to take over the world. Hell, I'll bet I could do a better job if I set my mind to it. I had a weird dream once where I got a time machine. I went back and did something to you, and then took over all by myself.
“I almost think you could do it. What about your school in Japan?”
“I don't know Kim. Not inviting me to the master's hall was like telling me to drop dead. It's like… I don't know what to compare it to. Getting thrown out by your parents? I left home on my own. It's like the biggest rejection in my life.”
“I'm sorry.”
“Really, Princess?”
“Really.”
“Thanks, it's good to hear. Can I buy another round for making you listen to me whine?”
Kim nodded yes and Shego had the lattes ordered before Kim remembered she wanted a mocha.
Shego was quiet until the lattes arrived. “Thanks for listening, Princess. I'm sorry if I called you away from something -- but there weren't a lot of names on my list of people I'd be willing to talk with.”
“What about Drakken?”
“Oh God, Think about it. Try to imagine holding an intelligent conversation with Dr. D. Although for that matter, I can ask how you talk with your boyfriend.”
“He's not a boyfriend anymore. He's still like best friend since forever. But he's got a serious random problem.”
“Seriously?”
“Seriously.”
Shego convulsed with laughter. “Great Motor Ed, Princess.”
Kim lost all track of time as the two chatted. Kim was startled to find out how late it was when she glanced at her watch, “Oh, I'd better call home.”
Shego tensed, fearing Kim had her own trap.
“Hi… Yes, sorry, to be calling so late -- but I didn't want you to worry… No, I ran into someone who wanted to talk… Okay, don't let me sleep past ten tomorrow… Love you too Mom, Bye.”
“So, do you lie to your mother on a regular basis?”
“I didn't lie, there were just some parts I left out.”
“Same difference.”
“No, it's not. I'm in no danger.”
Shego paused, looking for something to say. She kept it short, “Thanks, Kim.”
“You're welcome. Hey, can I go back to you claiming you'd like to retire to your school in Japan?” Kim asked. “If that's true, why hang around with Drakken?”
The pale woman gave her an odd smile, “You don't have time for why I work with Doctor D. It's a long story. But the man is a great humanitarian.”
Kim rolled her eyes, realizing Shego was pulling her leg. “So you really think the world would be a better place with Drakken running it?”
“A lot of it.”
“Name five countries that would be better off.”
“Let's see… Taliban remnants in Afghanistan, genocide in Sudan, the remains of what used to be Yugoslavia, how many civil wars going on in Africa at the moment? Chechnya… North Korea… Haiti… I'll throw in both Iran and Iraq… Oh, and France! Let's not forget France -- I hear the people have been reduced to eating snails. That had to be more than five.”
Kim giggled, “You sound as crazy as he is.”
“Hey, I'm promoting world peace here and you're calling me crazy?”
“I apologize,” Kim said in mock seriousness, “I have failed to recognize the two of you as a great humanitarians.”
“Damn straight, Hey this would all make sense if you were drunk. How long until you're legal?”
“I'm eighteen in few weeks. Years until I'm twenty-one.”
“Sorry Kim, we've been fighting so long I imagine you're older. But you've snuck a beer or two along the way haven't you?”
“No, I'm not even sure I'll drink when I'm legal--”
“Once a Pixie Scout always a Pixie Scout?”
“No, mom's a brain surgeon, she says it kills too many brain cells.”
“Ah Kimmie, everyone needs to worship the porcelain goddess at least once. Then you at least know what you're not missing. Tell you what, if Drakken ever starts another plan in Europe or Canada I'll give you warning and we can both get plastered the night before. You don't have to wait until twenty-one in most countries. And if Stoppable is the gentleman you claim we can take him along as designated driver.”
“While we're talking Drakken,” Kim said, “I have one last question. Why does he seem to center here in Middleton? Wouldn't Washington or maybe even New York make better sense?”
“I think there are several reasons. First, you may not appreciate this, but Middleton is one of the top research areas in the country -- and easily the one with the worst security. I don't know why there aren't more guards around here; it was harder to get the secret formula for Coke in Atlanta. You want to know what's in it?”
“Pass, What's another reason?”
“Well, if I was a psychologist I'd mention a fixation caused by unresolved conflicts with your father and a couple other scientists from their college days. And now, of course, he has transferred that hostility to you.”
“So, tell me Dr. Shego, any Oedipal complex issues there?”
“Have you, oh yes, you've met Mrs. Lipsky haven't you. Doesn't it make you feel just a little sorry for Dr. D?”
The coffee shop was almost empty when Shego asked, “Hey, I have a clone question for you. I worked with the Kim clones Drakken produced. Do you really have a little crescent shaped birthmark on your-- Oooh, I'm going to take that blush as a yes.”
They were both tired, and it helped them relax their guard slightly with the other, but when Tony stopped at their booth to remind them, “We're closing in five,” some of the tension returned.
They left together, knowing the truce would end and both feeling slightly nervous about the evening. Shego broke the silence, “Thanks for coming. It felt good to talk with someone.”
Kim smiled, “No big. Maybe we can try it again sometime.”
Shego glanced up and down the street. “Where's your car? I haven't seen that in a couple months.”
“I walked.”
“Car in the shop?”
“It's a really long story. The short version is the recall finally caught up with the Sloth… Common sense quiz, why is an invisible car a really bad idea?”
Shego thought for a second, “Because other drivers can't see you and will pull in front of you?”
“You get an A. I don't know why my genius brothers couldn't think of that. ‘Kim, push the green button. It will make it easier to follow bank robbers.’ The long version of the story has three buildings damaged, me in the hospital for two days, and a court order on my brothers for modifications the DMV found illegal, immoral, and possibly unhygienic -- although they had nothing to do with the starlings nesting in it… Maybe I'll tell you some other time.”
“Need a lift?”
“Nah, I'll walk.”
Kim used the walk home to think about the evening. She felt vaguely sorry for Shego, reduced to calling an enemy for company. But Kim also felt flattered. Shego had called her, and treated her like an adult -- talking with her rather than to her. Kim surprised herself as she realized, she wanted Shego to contact her again. It was long after 1:00 when Kim finally crawled into bed. She couldn't decide if it was weirdness of the night or the second no-fat latte that was keeping her awake but decided they should share the blame/credit equally as she finally dozed off.
Kim never saw the hovercraft that followed her home. Shego watched until Kim safely entered her house.“What in the hell am I doing? Why did I call her?”