Best Enemies: Redux

Chapter 2

A Plan so Cunning You Could Put a Tail on It and Call It a Weasel

King in Yellow

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TITLE: A Plan so Cunning You Could Put a Tail on It and Call It a Weasel

AUTHOR: King in Yellow

DISCLAIMER: The various characters from the Kim Possible series are all owned by Disney. Any and all registered trade names property of their respective owners. Cheap shots at celebrities constitute fair usage.

SUMMARY: KIGO, so everyone knows the punchline. Question is whether you have fun getting there. Everyone is a little older, some are a bit wiser.

TYPE: Kim/Shego, Slash

RATING: US: R / DE: 16

Words: 1551

Shego didn't know how she got Kim Possible stuck in her head, but found it annoying as hell. She told herself it made no sense. Kim was her greatest enemy. She needed to just beat the redhead so badly there could never be any discussion about which of them was the greater fighter. At the same time, the older woman couldn't forget that in the last four years there was only one person she had been able to sit down and open up to, Kim. In that week while she was on the run from her brothers Kim had been the closest thing she had known to a friend. She wanted out of the claustrophobic atmosphere of the Lair. She wanted to do something other than work and staring at a movie or television screen.

Eventually Shego made a self-diagnostic breakthrough. “I know why I want to talk with Kim. I need to talk with somebody about what happened last summer. I want someone who will understand what I'm talking about.” Kim knew her. The redhead wouldn't be repulsed by her bizarre color or hide when she found out what Shego did with her life. Kim knew all those things already. Shego realized her hope made no sense. The fact Kim knew her also assured the pale woman that the young hero wanted nothing to do with her.

Still, wanting to talk with Kim provided her with a goal. And with a goal in mind she could develop a plan to bring it about. Shego grinned to herself, she realized how she needed to approach the problem. What she needed was a trap to catch Kim. If all she wanted was to fight Kim the plan would be easy -- bait the trap with claim to threaten the world and Kim would willingly run into danger. But what bait would lure the redhead into a conversation? Curiosity seemed the best approach, find a location to spring the trap, carefully set out the bait to pique her interest and then gently reel her in. Working on a plan of her own served to break the boredom as Shego started to prepare the ambush.

She began with the search for a neutral location. Even the search itself provided a break from the normal routine. She rejected the idea of surprising Kim. Kim didn't appear to take surprises well -- at least not surprises from Shego. Nor could Shego imagine calling her on the phone and simply asking her to chat.

Eventually Shego discovered a coffee house a couple miles from the Possibles’ home, close enough for Kim to feel like she was in ‘her’ territory and appear to provide a little extra margin of psychological security. Shego walked around the building a couple times before going in. It appeared there were a number of potential exits if Kim tried to turn the trap on her. Shego ordered a latte and cased the building's interior. The cavernous space in the back offered few windows, but that meant fewer worries about being spied on by an outside observer. One booth in particular was slightly isolated from the others, and the person sitting on one side of the booth could remain unseen by just about everyone else in the shop. “Okay,” Shego thought to herself. “Here is where I'll be sitting. Kim can sit across from me. Now, how do I get her here?”

When the waiter and no one else was looking she stuck up a couple shiners, tiny mirrors whose reflection would let her see if anyone tried to sneak up behind her. If the janitors were good they'd be gone later, but Shego guessed they'd still be there if she ever got her night with Kim. Or at least Shego would know the best location for them for maximum coverage of the room.

“Kim, is Ron with you? I've got a report of Drakken and Shego stealing an electron microscope.”

“Ron's not here. He's probably at Felix's. Where are they, maybe I can stop them alone.”

“Medical Imaging on Twenty-seventh and Oak. Do you need a ride?”

“No, I'll just ask my mom.” As she flipped off the Kimmunicator she called, “Mom, Can I borrow your car or do you want to take me over to stop a robbery?”

While her mother drove around the block looking for a parking spot Kim swung down into the back of Medical Imaging through the hole Drakken's hovercraft had punched in the roof.

“Stop her, Shego,” the blue man ordered, “I've got almost all the parts loaded.”

Kim tensed for Shego's attack, but instead the pale woman kept a little distance between herself and Kim, and gave the younger woman the ceremonial bow drilled into the redhead in martial arts classes. Without thinking, force of habit overpowered Kim's reflexes and she returned the bow. She panicked momentarily as she realized what she was doing, but as she jerked up to face Shego's attack she discovered the green woman looking at her with a broad smile. The older woman winked at her, and assumed a battle stance.

The two began to fight. Shego kept the smile on her face. Kim's rhythm was completely off. Why had Shego bowed? Why had she been so stupid that she returned the bow? Why hadn't Shego attacked while she wasn't looking? And why in the world was Shego grinning as they fought?

The distractions kept Kim from focusing properly on the fight. When Drakken called, “Come, Shego, I'm ready,” the older woman quickly caught Kim with a kick to the ribs that knocked her to the floor.

“Later, Princess,” Shego promised as she sprinted for the hovercraft.

Kim gingerly felt her ribs as she watched the pair escape. “That was definitely weird,” she told herself. Nothing was broken, but she was going to be bruised. When Kim got out to the street her mother saw her and drove up to the front of Medical Imaging. “What happened, dear?”

“I'm not sure.”

Her mother looked puzzled. “I don't understand. Did you stop them? Did they get away? Did you capture them?”

“Oh, they got away with the microscope. It was just, I don't know, weird.”

“What was weird?”

“Never mind.”

Jean Possible shook her head; teenagers were hard to understand.

Two weeks later Kim and Ron were slightly more successful in stopping the theft of a rare isotope. As Ron moved to intercept Drakken, Kim confronted Shego. The redhead skidded to a halt as the pale woman bowed again, “What are you doing?” Kim hissed at her.

Shego grinned, “They trained you better than I imagined. You won't attack while I'm bowing.”

“Okay, that's over. I'm going to stop you.”

“Uh-uh. You haven't returned the bow.”

Kim threw a flurry of blows and kicks, all of which the pale woman deftly avoided without a counter attack, “Stand and fight,” the redhead demanded.

“Kimmie, Kimmie, you aren't doing it by the book.”

“When have you ever cared about the book?” Kim taunted.

“Since before you learned it,” the pale woman spat with a fury that stopped Kim in her tracks.

Kim wasn't sure why, but she stepped back and gave Shego a bow. When she looked up the pale woman's face seemed flushed with anger and she was in fighting stance -- but she didn't attack until Kim had a few seconds to prepare herself.

“Don't you EVER say I don't take this seriously, “ Shego hissed at her as they circled each other. Shego's anger disturbed her own concentration, and today she went down under Kim's attack.

“Drakken got away,” Ron told her as he moved over. “He tossed the isotope and I was afraid that it might be dangerous if it broke, so I dove to catch it and he escaped.” He showed her tube with the small sample. “We stopped the robbery.”

“And I caught Shego,” Kim told him. “Think they'll be able to hold her longer than six hours this time?”

“I'm guessing between three and four,” Ron said.

“I'm going to guess between four and five.”

“Do I get a guess?” Shego asked, rubbing her bruised arm to promote circulation.

“No,” Kim snapped. “You're up to something.”

“Aw, KP, what can it hurt?” Ron asked. “What's your guess, Shego?”

“Less than an hour after you turn me in, I'll be out.”

“You're really full of yourself,” Kim said.

“Just being realistic,” Shego told her.

Officer Hobble cuffed Shego's hands behind her back and put her in the rear seat of the squad car. He asked Kim a question about the capture, but before the redhead could answer they heard Shego yell, “Thanks for the lift,” as she tossed the handcuffs out the window, put the police car in gear and floored it.

“I'm glad we didn't put any money in the betting pool,” Ron said as the cruiser squealed away from them.

Before their next fight Kim returned Shego's bow with an equal degree of formality -- still wondering what sort of a trap the pale woman was preparing for her. Drakken seemed unaware of whatever Shego planned. When he first noticed the bow he had screamed, “What are you doing? Stop her!”

“This is just Shego's plan,” Kim thought to herself. “I wish I knew what it was.”

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