Monique pointed to her own face, “Sharp eyes. Hey, if it makes you feel any better, -I- am the ‘Leather Mistress’.”
Actually, it kind of did.
“So, who are the ‘Submissives', then? And… what does that mean, exactly?” Kim asked.
Monique's trick had worked; Kim was no longer facing the fact that by Monday morning, the whole school would know about her. “Uh… I think you'd be better off figuring those things out for yourself. You've got other things to deal with right now. Lucky for you, your ‘rents are cool.”
“OH MY GOD! MY PARENTS! Monique! What am I gonna do?” One crisis to another. On the bright side, it kept Kim from dwelling on any one of them too much.
“Calm down, girlfriend. Like I said, your ‘rents are cool. If I had folks like that, I'd just come straight out and tell ‘em. But, you can just play dumb if you want to. I doubt if they'll make a big fuss. ‘Rents, y'know… they'll just assume it's a ‘phase’ anyway. Don't worry about it.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Play dumb… good idea…” Kim mulled it over. So much to think about!
Monique left her there thinking about – things – while she went back to work, handling the customers at Club Banana. Two hours later, Kim peeked out of the storeroom curtain to see if the crowd of on-lookers had cleared off. Finding none, finally took her first steps in public as a Lesbian. It took a few deep breaths to do…
“Monique… thanks. For everything. I… I got a phone call to make. See ya at school.”
“Later on, GF” her friend replied, “And hey – Kim. You may… you may find friends in places you didn't expect. It'll be cool, okay? Welcome to the club!” She winked.
Kim walked out of Club Banana without a single shopping bag, probably for the first time in her life. … in places I don't expect? The club?
“KP! I heard the news! ‘Grats!” Ron yelled to her from her parent's front porch, where he had been waiting.
Kim was a little taken aback. Already? “How… who…”
“We're going to have to find you a speech-therapist, you keep up with the stuttering like that. I heard it from Felix who heard it from Tara who heard it from her parents who have friends who have a cousin…”
Great. Three hours, and it's all over town. Just freakin’ great. Which means… MY ‘rents will have heard already, too. Ahhhh, gawd. It's all your fault, Shego. You did this to me. Do you even care?
“… who were at the mall. So, uh… you ready to give her a call? I can get her on the phone, y'know. If you wanna call her. Huh? KP?”
“You can? You know the phone number to the lair? That's great! We can trace it… and…”
Ron was giving her a look both dirty and surprised.
“Uh, I guess not, huh?”
“No, I guess not. In fact, I think I'll be the one doing the dialing, if you don't mind” he said with mild suspicion.
“They ARE criminals, you know. And we ARE the good guys… so we -” Kim began.
Ron shot back, “So we nothing, Kim. As far as all that goes, there's no change, get it? If YOU are going to let that stand in your way, well, I guess Shego was right, ‘Mayberry’ doesn't go far enough.” He turned to go home.
“Wait. Ron, wait. Give me a chance to think about things, okay? What I said about tracing… was just habit, y'know? Old habit. Uh… I'd really appreciate it if you'd make that call.”
Ron turned around and looked at her, slowly smiling. “OKKP – I love saying that – I'll dial, you talk.”
“Thanks” she said as she unlocked her front door, “And what's all this about ‘Mayberry’?”
Luckily her “'rents” weren't home. Yeah, and it's Saturday… so they're probably at the Mall. Lucky? I need to find another narrator…
Ron told the incredibly beautiful, smart, and talented red-head all about his conversation with Shego during his “first date” with Drakken.
And Kim agreed, “Yeah. ‘Mayberry, RFD, black and white’. I get it. Probably true, too. But, I'm getting better… don't you think I'm getting better?”
He looked up from the phone, “Slowly, KP. Very slowly. Now shush! Drak? It's me. Oh, no, just helping out Kim a little, apparently she -”
“RON!”
“… uh, I mean, is Shego around? Kim wants to talk to her.”
Ron listened for a moment while Drakken relayed the message, then looked over at Kim, “She says she has nothing to say to you.”
Kim sighed, “Tell her it's Mayberry's newest lesbian.”
Ron passed it on to Drakken, who held the phone down while he in turn told Shego. Suddenly, the normally quiet lair seemed to erupt into a variety of noises -
Crash! Shego! You just… Bang! watch out for the - Thump! Crash! Tinkle tinkle tinkle My porcelain! Watchou – BAM! Sheg-OOF! Kim! (pant) Kim is that you! (pant) KIM!
“Uh, here ya go, KP…” Ron said calmly smiling.
“KIM! Dammit, Drakken, if you were pulling my leg, I'm gonna give you SUCH a -”
“Uh, Shego?”
A moment of silence greeted her from the other end of the line, as Shego's mind fought between different personalities. Kim was on the line. She was there. She had finally admitted she was Lesbian. It could all happen. Her and… her Princess. No, that's a tease-name. I can't call her that… Kimmie, or Pumpkin, then. No, maybe not ‘Pumpkin', yet. Just Kim. Yeah. Must remember!
“So, Princess, finally took the plunge, eh?” DAMMIT! Apparently the ‘Shego personality’ had won the fight, or at least control of the mouth.
“Yeah. I guess…”
More dead silence.
“So… uh, Pumpkin… uh…” What the HELL's wrong with me! Shego thought, Why can't I think!
Drakken, recovered from a rather forceful shove in the gut by now, mouthed the words “Dinner and a movie.”
“What?” Shego asked.
“What what?” Kim responded.
“Uh… hold on a sec, Kimmie” she covered the mouthpiece.
“Dinner and a movie!” Drakken said, rolling his eyes at the ceiling. “Or, ‘go for a ride in my car’. Remember, Shego - High School! Think High School!”
Shego uncovered the mouthpiece, “You wanna go see dinner and a movie?” Drakken covered his eyes with both hands.
“What?”
“Have a movie. See dinner. You know, High School!”
“Shego… are you okay? You sound kinda… funny…”
“DAMMIT!” Shego held the phone away and yelled at herself, “DAMMIT ALL TO HELL! Fuckin’ stupid bloody shit-faced HELL on a -”
Drakken was staring at her now, pointing to the phone still in her hand. Shego held it up to her ear with a terrified look on her face.
“Shego? You there? Are… you okay? Shego?” Kim sounded worried.
“I'm here, Prince-” FUCK! “uh, Pump-” DAMN! “… I'm here, Kim. Uh… look, could I just have a minute here? I'm… I'm…”
“Yeah, me too, Shego. Good idea. A minute.”
They were actually only silent for about half that. They could hear each other breathe, though. In fact, neither of them had ever noticed that you could hear someone breathe over the phone. Neither of them had ever listened for it before… now they listened intently.
Until Shego finally got her head cleared, “Dinner and a movie.”
“Sounds good…” Kim said a little anxiously.
“Pick you up at eight?”
“Yeah.”
“Okay, uh…” Shego had to close her eyes and concentrate to say it, “…Kim. Bye then.”
“Bye Shego.”
Click
“Well, how was it, KP?” Ron asked after Shego had dropped Kim off at her house. At least he wasn't hiding in the bushes, but he still couldn't see what went on during the five minutes the car had been by the curb. Shego's car had tinted windows.
“You ever hear of a movie called ‘Dementia – Lesbian Tentacle Monster from Beyond Space'”?
Ron just stared at her for a moment. No… No, he probably would have remembered that.
“Ah. A chick-flick?” he said wryly.
“You could say that” she answered, just as wryly, “And dinner? You ever eat lobster? Maine lobster? You know, where you pick ‘em out of the tank?”
“Can't say I have. Good?”
“Messy! But SO good! Gawd, the woman does know how to live! She also knows some parts of Middleton I sure wouldn't go alone…”
“Like where they have theaters that show movies about lesbian tentacle -”
“Exactly.” Kim started giggling for some reason.
“What's so funny?” Ron asked, ready to giggle himself just imagining what she might be thinking.
“Tentacle monster! You know what tentacle monsters like to do, Ron?”
“Uh… yeah… I have some idea. They have an appetite for Japanese school-girls, I hear.”
Kim only giggled more.
But there was more Ron wanted to know. “So… uh… anything else happen?”
“We just talked, Ron. Nothing juicy. I was SO nervous, and wouldja believe, so was she? Shego? Nervous? She kept trying NOT to call me ‘Princess’. It was hilarious! I wouldn't have believed it…” Suddenly her face took a serious attitude, “Damn! I should've told her it was okay. DAMN! Ron! You gotta call the lair again! I gotta -”
“Save it for the next date, KP. Aaaaand when's that gonna be?”
Now her face turned from serious to worried to terrified in the space of five seconds.
“FUCK!” That made twice in one day for her to use the ‘F’ word, rather putting to shame her previous record of once in 16 years. “I didn't think… we didn't… oh GAWD! You gotta call her for me Ron! Tonight! You've got to!”
Ron sighed, “Okay okay, Kim. I'll call again. But first you gotta tell me: were you kissing in her car just now?”
She blushed powerfully and looked at her shoes, “…Yes…”
He wagged a finger at her, “YOU were kissing Shego! You were KISSING Shego! YOU were KISSING -”
“Ha ha, Ron. You're funny. Don't quit your day-job, though.”
“Hi Kim!” Felix said, wheeling by on the ramp as she climbed the front steps to Middleton High (Home of the Dawgs).
Today was the Big Day, the day she'd spent most of yesterday preparing herself for. Her plan was to avoid all eye-contact, ignore everyone, and otherwise pretend nothing had happened in the Mall last Saturday. It wasn't much of plan… but the alternative – running away to Tierra del Fuego – was too expensive. She only had $19 to her name.
“Uh… oh, hi, Felix” she said. Okay, so Felix is an exception. But I'm ignoring everyone else…
“Morning sunshine!” Josh said, waiting by the door to open it for her. She glanced into his eyes to see if he “meant anything by that”, but couldn't find any sign.
“Hi, Josh.” Well, Josh is okay… but I'm ignoring -
“Kim! I wanna talk to you!” Bonnie said in the hallway. Ignore her… ignore her… ignore-
“This cheer for next weekends game. You know it's an away game, right? Like, far away? As in, most of the crowd will NOT be from Middleton? You really wanna say ‘bite my shorts’ under those conditions?”
Bite my shorts? What?, Kim thought, What's she… cheer? CHEER! “Oh, gawd, that's right, I totally forgot about… uh… that.” Is that all? That CAN'T be all…
“Good, I thought not. So, I'll replace it with ‘Go Mad Dogs', as usual, right?”
“Uh… yeah, right, Bonnie.”
Bonnie started to walk off, apparently satisfied with that answer and done with the conversation. But Kim couldn't leave it like that. Bonnie had been her worst nightmare – literally – yesterday. And all she was concerned with was next weekend's cheer?
“Bonnie!” Kim cried a little too loudly, to get her attention. The lieutenant cheerleader turned around, annoyed.
“Yeah?”
“Uh… is that… is that all you've got to say?”
“Duh! What else would I… oh, your little Mall Episode? Is that it?”
“Well… yeah… aren't you going to say… SOMEthing mean about it?”
“It was good for a chuckle, Kim. I'm sure you were SO embarrassed. The whole damn Mall, an’ all. But – not that I wouldn't LOVE to have something juicy to tease you with – what's the Big Deal?”
“What's the big deal? What's the big DEAL?” Kim looked around, and dragged Bonnie out of the middle of the hallway, “I come out as GAY and you ask me what's the BIG DEAL? What are you planning, Bonnie! I know you're planning SOMEthing! Is this some kind of -”
“Let – wouldja let GO of me! Geez!” Bonnie complained. When Kim did let go of her jacket collar, Bonnie regarded the red-head as if trying to figure out how she could get some advantage out of the situation.
But she couldn't find a way, so she simply said, “Can you really be that clueless? You've had Shego's picture in your locker – year after year – for… how many years now? You date guys – rarely- but none of them even get to first base? You don't think we notice things like that? You mean… you actually thought it was a secret!”
Stunned speechless, Kim could only gawk.
“Get a Life, Kimmie. All work and no play is making you SO the dull girl!”
Bonnie waited, hoping to get SOME kind of rise out of the other girl. But Kim just stood there with her mouth open, gawking. She sighed heavily, “You're letting the flies in, Kim” and walked away.