Ron thought of asking “how come?” or telling him “you really don't HAVE to, you know”, but perhaps they'd had enough Drama for one date. A first date. He smiled to himself. Don't wanna go getting a reputation as ‘easy', do we… Do we? Bad Ron! Bad Bad Ron! “Okay, Doc. After dinner.”
“Yeah! And you've already got all the expertise and equipment… and suppliers an’ stuff, so it'd be like, no sweat! All you need to do is be sure and put in words like ‘spinach’ and ‘broccoli’ and boo-yah! Everyone will think it's ‘healthy’ – never mind the veggies are swimming in cheese-sauce and the bread is made with serious amounts of lard…”
“Ron?”
“… you know how people are. It could work! It'd be like the TGIFridays of French food! You'd get the upscale crowd – or people who want to look that way – and…”
“RON!” Drakken finally shouted.
“… you could charge the upscale prices… uh… yeah?”
“We're here, Ron. This is your house.”
Ron looked around. This WAS his house! “Uh… how long… when did we get here?”
Drakken grinned at him, “About fifteen minutes. I didn't want to stop you, you were on a roll. So to speak.”
The young man furrowed his brow at the scientist in mock anger, “You LET me ramble on like that, didn't you?”
“I did. But not JUST for fun. I think you may have a really good idea, there. It's a fairly open market. Most French restaurants are TOO ‘upscale’ for most people to afford… yours could be different.”
“Mine? Uh, I was thinking -”
“Well, whatever you were thinking, you can be sure I will look into it, Ron. You'd be surprised how much money it takes just TRYING to take over the world.”
Ron looked a little uneasy at this thought, “Yeah… well… maybe we'll talk about that next time, Drak. So… I guess I'll be seeing you later?”
Drakken chuckled, “I'd say that was distinct possibility. Oh! Before I forget -” he fished around in his coat pocket, “Here's my card with my personal number, so you can call me, should you feel the… need. I hope I don't have to say -”
“Yeah yeah, Doc, it's a secret. Like the location of your Lair. Okay. Well, g'nite, Doc.”
“Good night, Ron. Sleep well.”
Ron got out of the car and started to cross the street to his house. After passing in front of Drakken's borrowed Corvette, and as the Doctor was beginning to pull away, he shouted, “DRAK! HOLD UP!”
Drakken stopped the car, wondering what was the matter. Ron came over to his side and reached in the back, behind Drakken's seat. “Forgot my backpack” he said. He stooped back down to look in at the driver.
“Very well, Ron. Well, good – umpth!” Was as far as he got before Ron's mouth closed on his. Ron's eyes were closed. Drakken's, on the other hand, were VERY wide. He hadn't expected this. Things had been going so well, they had actually achieved a level of comfort with each other even greater than before dinner. Well, all that was gone now. With Ron's unexpected kiss, all the discomfort returned, in force: desire, hesitancy about the desire, shame about the desire, warmth from the desire… sweetness of the desire… abandonment to the desire…
Drakken's eyes closed very slowly, without him even realizing it, and he reached up to touch Ron's face with one hand, then the other. Ron wasn't stopping. Ron wasn't going anywhere. He never engaged his tongue in the kiss, but only swapped Drakken's lower lip for the upper one, then back to the lower… upper… lower…
When they finally parted, both of their eyes still closed, both of them breathing heavily, it took them a moment to realize just what had happened. They both blushed as soon as they opened their eyes: pink under blue, pink under freckles. Ron squatted by the door, his head still at window height, and just stared for awhile at the Doctor staring back into his eyes.
There really wasn't much to say.
“G'nite, Drak.”
“Good night, Ron.”
And Ron finally turned to go home. After what seemed to Drakken to be HOURS later, really only a dozen seconds, he drove away.
Kim was waiting hidden behind a bush by the side gate. She marched, literally, up to Ron as he neared the front porch, pointing a finger at him.
“You were KISSING Drakken!” she accused, “YOU were kissing… DRAKKEN! You WERE kissing Drakken! You were kissing DRAKKEN!”
Ron sat on the steps. This might take awhile.
“YOU WERE kissing Drakken! You WERE KISSING Drakken! You were KISSING -”
“Shego says hi, KP.”
“DRAK – what?”
“Shego. She says ‘hi’ ” he repeated.
“Shego?” even in the dark, he could tell she was turning red, “Says hi? Oh… well… uh, yeah… ‘hi’ back… I guess…”
“She got a new outfit. Wanted to know if I thought you'd like it.”
“A new… outfit?”
“Yeah. Kind of… Safari Girl type of thing, I guess. Hiking boots and all. Sort of a sexy Indiana Jones look. Pretty cute, I thought.”
“Ron! YOU were KISSING -”
“Did you hear me, KP? She wanted to know if I thought YOU would like it. What's your opinion of sprayed-on tank-tops and shorts?”
“I… uh… SPRAYED-on?”
“Yeah. Y'know. Like, really, REALLY tight spandex. And obviously no bra, either, as far as I could tell. I swear, her nipples were -”
“RON!”
He smiled. At least it was different from ‘you were kissing Drakken’… “Well, they were. Just sayin', is all.”
“Yeah, well… I don't… I don't need to hear that… You just keep your perverted fantasies to yourself!”
He sighed. SO Mayberry. “Yeah, KP. I'll do that.” He got up and fished his keys out of his pocket, “Well, I'm goin’ ta bed now, Kim. G'nite.”
Kim stood there in utter confusion, watching him unlock the door and open it. “Ron!”
He turned around, “Yeah?”
“Uh… you were kissing…”
“Drakken. Yeah. Liked it, too. See ya later, KP.”
Kim remained standing there looking at the closed door for three minutes, her mind refusing to believe that was all there was to it. As she walked home, she tried NOT to think of “sprayed-on spandex” and Shego's nipples.
She had about as much success as you are right now.
“Ron! You go after Drakken, I'll try to shut this thing off, and hold off Shego, if – when – she shows up!”
The usual situation. “Right, KP!” Ron turned to run down a darkened hallway, the way the Dr. had gone.
Kim had second thoughts this time though… “And Ron?”
He stopped and turned around, “Yeah?”
“TRY to actually capture him, okay? I mean, they ARE breaking the law, here…”
Ron looked at the diabolical machine Kim was about to try and shut off. It was obviously a cookie-dough extruder, despite the “Warning!” and “Danger!” stickers on it. What would eventually show up on the sinister-looking conveyor-belt would probably some kind of cookie. But he didn't say anything, and forced himself not to smile until he'd turned his back to Kim again. “Don't worry about it, KP. Business before pleasure, I always say!”
That didn't actually relieve Kim's suspicion much. She went to the machine, looking for the always-to-be-found self-destruct button. She wished there was more light in the room…
And suddenly, there was. Kim whirled to see who had turned them on.
“Shego! It's… you?” Kim had been wondering if this was going to happen. Safari-Girl. Kim wasn't familiar with “Tomb Raider”, so didn't know where the outfit came from, but she HAD been imagining it, even as she'd tried not to. Especially last night, in bed. She cursed herself for being so… dirty. Kim Possible? Dirty? That just HAD to be wrong!
Shego went into her fighting stance, lighting up her hands – sans gloves – in the process. She waited for Kim to come to her.
And Kim did, acting the part she'd done so many times before, as a way to divert her own mind. She charged Shego, but Shego stood her ground, un-moving. Kim stopped directly in front of the other girl and swung the most half-hearted right-cross in the history of pugilism. Shego merely pulled her head back an inch to avoid it. No combination, no more swings, and Kim wasn't trying to get into position to use her legs, either.
Shego stared at the bewildered red-head, “What the hell was that?” she asked, with an expression of “is something wrong with you?”
But Kim didn't know. She was trying NOT to see, and NOT to look at Shego's glowing hands. The hands that had been so much on her mind, lately. She swallowed.
“Uh… the cops are on their way, Shego! Give up now, and… and… there won't be… any trouble…” It sounded corny even to her. But, isn't that the thing she said, at this point? Wasn't that the… way things went?
Shego could see that the poor girl was helpless, the way Kim's eyes were wandering EVERY where except on her. Damn! I can't believe I never noticed before! Probably too busy ogling HER, you dope. Doy! Look at her! Poor girl… she's got it as bad as I do! If only she'd just…
Shego de-flamed and brought her arms down, standing relaxed in front of her nemesis. Kim only blinked, even more unsure what to do now than she had been before. What's going ON here? What's WRONG with me? And Shego… why isn't she fighting!
Shego decided to go for broke, and turned her back on Kim, walking – and trying not to be TOO sultry about it – towards the Diabolical Device churning in the corner.
Kim looked, oh yes, she did look… but immediately panicked and looked away.
“Hmmm” Shego said, “This thing DOES look pretty menacing, doesn't it?” Good JOB Dr. D! “Well, Pumpkin, I sure hope it doesn't get the chance to… do whatever it does, eh?” She walked back towards Kim, still standing next to the wall, apparently paralyzed except for her wildly-darting eyes.
Shego would have walked right into Kim if the teenager hadn't backed up. But she could only back up so far… and found herself against the wall. She swallowed again, hard, too afraid to wonder if it showed.
Shego put her hands out against the wall on either side of Kim's head, trapping her there, and looked into her eyes. Kim's eyes were still darting wildly. Poor Princess… she's scared to death! Dammit! Get OVER it, Pumpkin!
Maybe I can help…
Shego closed her eyes and leaned forward, kissing Kim on the lips. It didn't last long, though.
Kim was finally terrified enough to just DO something, and it didn't matter what. She pushed Shego back, forcefully. As forcefully as she could, in fact, throwing the green villainess to the floor. “SHEGO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING! WHY…”
Then Kim's hands went to her mouth, covering it in horror. Paralyzed again.
“Damn, Kim! That hurt! Right on my ass! Hell!” Shego said, trying to understand what had happened. Then she looked at the frozen girl still standing at the wall. This was SO not working out!
“Oh, fer cryin’ out loud, Princess! You want to as much as I do! Would you just DROP the All-American Cheerleader act and… and be YOURSELF for a change?” Shego said as she got up and adjusted her outfit.
“I DO NOT WANT TO! I DON'T! I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!” Kim screamed into her still mouth-covering hands.
Shego could see that she'd gone too far, perhaps WAY too far. Oh, crap. Now I've done it. I should've listened to the sidekick… damn Damn DAMN! She tried to calm herself, maybe she could salvage something from this situation…
“Look, uh, Kim. I'm sorry, okay? I thought… well, I thought… uh -”
“WELL YOU THOUGHT WRONG!” Kim screamed one final time, and ran away through the open door, back the way she'd come in.
Shego just stood there, silent. The dough-extruder had just turned out it's first batch of oatmeal puffs.
“Well… poop” Shego said, “You blew that big time, Shego. Good job. Gold-star for that one. Doy! You are SUCH an idiot!” She began walking down the darkened hall looking for Ron and Drakken.
When she found them, Ron appeared to be hovering in the air – lotus position - in front of a white fedora, with his eyes closed.
In the dark hall, it was hard to see Dr. Drakken's black-on-black-on-black 100-percent cashmere suit. And his face, too, was hidden. By Ron's head. The two of them were locked in a passionate embrace, Ron holding himself up to Drakken's level by wrapping his legs around the man's waist.
Shego sighed and leaned back on the wall, bracing one foot against it, and crossing her arms over her chest. “Break it up, you two. If I can't have any fun, I don't see any reason you should, either.”
Ron and Drakken broke off their kiss. Or at least, Drakken did. Ron merely continued it on the scientist's neck.
“I take it you had no luck then, Shego?” he asked, looking at her over Ron's bent head.
“You take it. Does ‘running away screaming’ sound like I got lucky?” she said angrily.
Ron sighed into Dr. Drakken's collar, and released his hold on his torso to stand on his own feet. “What did you do, Shego… I told you to -”
“Yeah, I know what you told me, Stoppable. ‘Go slow’. Bloody hell. She was SO ready, I'm tellin’ ya! She was hot-to-trot! She was… she was…”
“Scared to death” Ron finished for her.
“Well… yeah. But, I can TELL she wants it! I mean, I never noticed before, because I guess I was too busy ogling her, but… oh, to hell with it. ‘Mayberry RFD, in black and white’ doesn't even come CLOSE. She's positively PHOBIC! Dammit!”
“Well…” Drakken said, “not to put too fine a point on it, Shego, but you should have chased her. In fact, you should be chasing her right now, rather than wasting our time whining about it.”
Shego flared at the insult, and stood facing them with intense anger on her face. “Whining?”
Drakken cowered, but Ron simply answered back, “Yeah, Shego. Pretty much. Whining. She couldn't have gone any further than the helicopter that brought us here. She's probably sitting inside right now, waiting on me… she won't leave without me. So, you wanna break through? Show her she can be herself around you? Then drop the Dangerous Bitch act and go talk to her.”
Drakken was worried about Ron… the boy – GUY – dammit! - didn't know how Shego became when she was enraged. “Ron, I don't think you should, uh, that is -”
“S'okay, Drak. Even Shego won't hold it against someone for telling her the truth. Especially if it's the truth about herself.”
Shego remained in her ready-stance, her breath heaving as she absorbed insult after insult from… from a teenage BOY! Who did he think he was!
Ron went on unbowed, “Yeah, you heard me, Shego. ‘Dangerous Bitch’ ACT. You think THAT is what she likes about you? I doubt it. Why don't you try exposing a little bit of yourself to her, instead? Just a little… I know you're an amateur. Try starting with ‘I really like you’. See what happens.”
Drakken actually got behind Ron, hoping he could ward off the attack that was now DEFINITELY coming. Shego's chest heaved up and down, and her fists clenched and unclenched unconsciously. She glared into Ron's eyes as if trying to burn through his head with her stare.
“ ‘I really like you’.” she said, fuming. The “teenage boy” was the Best Friend of her romantic target. Who, incidentally, was a teenage girl. THAT was who he thought he was.
“Yeah. Try it, Shego. And if it doesn't work, you can come back and kick my ass. How's that?”
Shego turned and ran back down the hall without answering.
“Good. Now, as I recall, I was up here!” Ron said, jumping back onto Drakken.
“Yes. Uh, Ron, this is actually not that comfortable a position for me…” the Dr. said as he put his arms around Ron's back.
“Learn to love it. Besides, I think I can see my house from here!”
“Pardon?” Drakken said, not getting the joke.
“Never mind, Drak” Ron said, pressing their lips together again. This time, their tongues met.
Shego climbed in the cabin of the helicopter without saying a word, and sat in an aisle seat opposite a rather shocked Kim Possible.
“What are you doing here! Get out! Shego! This is -”
“I really like you, Kim.”
“ - a govermen… what?”
Shego just kept staring straight ahead. This wasn't easy for her. “You heard me.”
The pilot and co-pilot looked back into the cabin from their seats. Shego raised a hand and lit up. “You guys know about this?”
They nodded.
“Good. Get out. This is private.”
They unbuckled, pulled the plugs on their helmets, and left through their own doors, silently.
“Their names are Capt. Krache and Lt. Burns. They happen to be friends” Kim said, unable to think of anything else to say.
Shego continued sitting in stone-silence.
Kim stared at her arch-enemy silently. Since Shego wasn't watching her, she let her eyes roam - but only for a few seconds - then remembering herself, she snapped them forward, and sat just like Shego was.
Shego couldn't keep it up forever. She squeezed her eyes shut forcibly, reopening them with a sigh. “Are you going to say anything or not?”
Kim glanced over at her, “I… I don't know what to say… uh…”
“How about ‘I like you too', for starters” if you do. I THINK you do. THROW ME A BONE, KIMMIE!
“Well… uh… Look… I mean…”
Finally, it WAS more than Shego could stand. She put her head in her hands and took a deep breath. “All right, Princess. Just… forget about it. Let's just forget the whole, thing, okay? Stupid Drakken! ‘If I can do it, so can you'! Doy! Now if you'll excuse me, I've got someone's ass to kick.” She got up to leave.
“Wait! Wait…” Kim said, and Shego froze with her hand on the door frame, but didn't look back.
“I… I think… it's…”
Shego jumped out without waiting for her to finish stammering, double-timing back into the building.