Ron and Dr. Drakken looked at the girls.
“Y'all comin’?” Ron asked.
For the girls, dinner was tense. They kept eyeing each other in secret, and preparing themselves to expect the unexpected from their arch-foes. Several times, Shego lit up a single hand, hiding it under the table.
Ron and Drakken, on the other hand, were behaving almost like old buddies, discussing past Plans for Ultimate Conquest, how they failed, and why… Dr. Drakken would always blame Team Possible, Ron would always point out the Dr.'s engineering flaws and poorly-thought-out plans. They made fun of other villains as well, both laughing at the exploits of Monkey Fist, DNAmy… and especially Killigan.
“Oh, I know! The man has exploding golf-balls, and it's his only schtick! I'm amazed they let him in the Guild! I should start a petition to get him kicked out…”
“C'mon, Doc, he's like the Comic Relief of Evil! Let him be. You're just jealous you didn't think of the golf-ball bit, arent'cha?”
“Bah!… At least I do something different every time. We do have standards…”
“Like inventions that only work once? Three words: Explode – oh – Ray.”
“Coincidence. And it's two words: ‘Explodo-Ray’.”
Kim and Shego watched them with frowns on their faces, trying to figure out what was going on, or even if something was going on.
The ride home was silent (for a hovercraft – not exactly a stealthy form of transport). Kim kept studying Ron in the backseat, while Shego did the same to Drakken, glancing back at the two do-gooders from time to time to make sure they weren't up to something, too.
“All right, Dr. D… What the hell was THAT all about?” Shego asked as soon as they'd dropped off Team Possible.
Drakken played innocent, “What do you mean?”
“ ‘What do you mean?'” Shego mocked, “You know perfectly well ‘what I mean'! I mean you and the sidekick chumming up like that! Like you're long-lost buddies, is what I MEAN! You DIDN'T get your stuff, you DIDN'T leave a trail of destruction… and then you TREATED THEM TO DINNER? If I'm gonna keep working for you, I NEED to know what's going on here!”
Drakken looked at her calmly. “You'd quit me, would you?”
“Drakken…” Shego started, then stopped as she seriously considered the question. Quit Drakken? Kim seemed to have a special alert on Drakken's plans, even when Shego wasn't providing the hints. Would she… meet… Kim as often working for, oh, Monkey Fist or Senor Senior, Sr? Not likely. Was she willing to give that up? Not likely.
And why not? Was it going to get her anywhere? Would Kim ever…
Not likely. She and her sidekick were inseperable.
“Yes?” the Dr. prompted Shego to finish her thought.
“… I might. But not yet. Don't think I have any special reason to stay, though!”
Drakken considered. He decided not to press the issue, besides, perhaps it was all in his head, perhaps Shego and Kim really were fighting to the death, each time, as a hero and a villain should.
But… it wasn't likely.
Shego had calmed down now, too uncomfortable with the way the confrontation was going to continue it. She filed her fingernails vehemently.
Drakken frowned. The evening had been… enjoyable, for him. ALL of the evening, including being trapped with Ron in the Smithsonian. He smiled wanly at himself when he thought about his short-circuted Explodo-Ray… Ron was right, he really SHOULD pay more attention to engineering. Invention as all fine and well, but if you couldn't get your inventions to WORK, it was really kind of pointless. Ron had something on the ball, there.
Drakken closed his eyes. Added to that, he's just so GAWD-AWFUL cute! Gah! I shouldn't have accepted the invitation… I should have just walked away… what was I THINKING! He's a BOY! Okay, granted, an exceptional boy, almost a man… just when, exactly, does one go from boy to man, anyway? When did I? Why can't I remember? Surely it must have occurred to me at the time…
Oh, well. Maybe it'll never happen again. If I could only keep Shego from getting caught by Kim damn near EVERY time she leaves the Lair… I think she's sending Possible tips anonymously… Really, I should just fire her. But how could I replace her? And could her replacement break me out of jail, next time I get caught?
And if she doesn't bring Kim into our plans, Kim won't bring Ron. Oh, bloody hell…
So many questions.
“All right, Ron… What the hell was THAT all about?” Kim asked as soon as they'd been dropped off.
Ron, too, played innocent, “What do you mean?”
“You know exactly what I mean! You don't think I saw you? I was right there, Ron! You… you were flirting with Dr. Drakken!”
Ron opened his mouth in preparation for a strong objection to that statement – then thought again. Flirting? I mean… I kinna like him… in a way… and I… I REALLY enjoyed the conversation, and watching him smile – god he has a beautiful smile – and laugh, and get flustered and embarassed. And yeah, I was feelin’ good. So what? Flirting? Was I?
Gawd, was I flirting?
Well, how the hell should I know? I never “flirted” before! Was I then?
Kim was still looking aghast at him, and expecting an answer.
“Was I flirting? I didn't notice…” he said earnestly.
Kim was deflated. She'd been expecting the “strong objection” that Ron had initially prepared to give her, and she had her proof lined up like so much ammunition to counter it. It hadn't ever occurred to her that he might NOT object at all!
And now, she didn't know what to think, let alone say.
Ron seemed to be wondering to himself. And… and smiling to himself, too!
“Ron?” she asked, having no real question she dared voice in mind.
He came back to earth and looked at her. “Yeah?”
“You? … and Drakken… ?”
That was the question, wasn't it… Me and Drakken? He imagined it. Him and Drakken. A Pair. Couple. “Seeing” each other. The scenes that played out in his mind weren't like he'd have imagined they'd be only a few hours before. And they didn't make him feel like he had been sure they would have, either. Him and Drakken. Well, yeah. Maybe. Maybe not… PROBABLY not… but yeah. Maybe. But he wasn't about to say that to Kim. Instead, he countered.
“Lemme ask you this, KP: You… and Shego?” It was a challenge.
“What!” Things were happening a little fast for the teenage cheerleader. They didn't cover this sort of thing in Sex-Ed.
“You and Shego. What about that?” Ron said, honestly trying not to sound flippant.
“Me… and…” was as far as Kim would get tonight.
In Shego's “Lair apartment” that night, after a shower and half a bottle of Cabernet Sauvingnon, she could finally think things out.
The boy had been flirting with Dr. D, and Dr. D had been soaking it up. Soaking it up! She could see it now. She'd been so… apprehensive… about Kim at dinner, she wasn't really paying attention, other than to look at her boss from time to time and think “What the hell…” But now, it was all coming back to her. Kim's sidekick and boyfriend, Ron Stoppable, was crushing on Dr. Dew Lipsky – Drakken – and Drakken was letting him! Which meant that Drakken was… and Stoppable was… and Kim was… NOT his girlfriend!
Whoa. Down girl. Settle down now… that's a long way to go on a little rope. Maybe he swings both ways… wait a minute – Kim wouldn't put up with that. I don't THINK so. A three-way with Drakken? Princess? Gimme a break… Okay, maybe I'm wrong about the whole “flirting” thing, then. She thought about how Ron had looked up from his food without lifting his head, surruptitiously eyeing the older – much older – man. No, the flirting was a definite. So… if she was wrong about something, it was that Ron and Kim were a couple. Perhaps they weren't. Probably they weren't!
She got up to find Dr. D and put the question to him, because she couldn't – simply could not – stand to wait.
He was frowning at his terminal in the lab, as usual.
“Uh, Dr. D?” Shego ask unusually timidly… how did you ask someone something like this?
“Shego. You're up late.” He didn't look up from his terminal. The Japanese MegaZilla Corp. was trying to tell him they could't fill his Giant Spider order, and he knew perfectly well they could. He was trying to read between the lines to see what they really wanted.
“Yeah. Couldn't sleep. Uh… so, that Stoppable boy is kind of cute, isn't he…”
THAT got his attention. He looked at her over the top of his flat-screen, but didn't say anything.
But Shego was at a loss. You gonna date him? You want him? You LIKE him? LIKE like? Shego felt like she was in 6th grade again… So, Dr. D, thinking of seeing him on a non-professional level? Oh, yeah, that was SO much better. Doy! How does one DO this?
Finally, Dr. Drakken himself broke the intensly awkward silence, “Indeed. Something you want to ask me about him?”
Indeed? Is he admitting something? Dammit, Drakken! Of all the times to pick to be obtuse!
Shego took a deep breath. What was the worst he could do? “He was flirting with you.”
Drakken looked back down at his screen. “I believe you're right.” Knowing his face was hidden, he couldn't help but smile. It was nice to hear it confirmed.
None of which was helping Shego at all. “So… I mean… he and… well, he and you… you -”
“Perhaps. You have an opinion about it, do you?” His face was still hidden behind the monitor panel.
“Oh! No! I mean… that's… that's your business! No. Uhm… hell. Sorry to bother you, I can see you're working. G'nite, Dr. D.”
Drakken looked over the top of the monitor again as Shego was walking away. Her head hung down, and her walk was listless. Shego never walked listlessly…
“Shego?”
“Yeah?” She turned around, not knowing what to expect.
“If I can do it, so can you. Good night, Shego.” He began typing his response to MegaZilla Corp.